Full Transcript for RuPaul On: Surviving Your Family, Overcoming Addiction, And How To Have Fun (Including "Dirty Charades")

a lame 36 00:02:11.409 --> 00:02:14.300 way to begin. But here I am asking you about 37 00:02:14.340 --> 00:02:17.539 the title. You've called it Beautiful Nonsense. Can you just 38 00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:19.240 say more about that? 39 00:02:20.599 --> 00:02:22.680 Well, it was Beautiful Nonsense when I heard it the 40 00:02:22.699 --> 00:02:26.340 first time because I attributed a lot of deep meaning 41 00:02:26.430 --> 00:02:29.129 to it when I heard it the first time. And 42 00:02:29.409 --> 00:02:32.550 as time went on, I realized in hindsight that it 43 00:02:32.650 --> 00:02:36.349 was gibberish, what my friend was telling me about the 44 00:02:36.389 --> 00:02:39.439 House of Hidden Meanings. He told me that he's Libra, 45 00:02:39.750 --> 00:02:43.800 and he told me that Libra represents the 12th House 46 00:02:43.860 --> 00:02:47.620 of Hidden Meanings for a Scorpio like myself. And I went, oh, wow, 47 00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:51.360 that's really deep. And of course, that's not true, but 48 00:02:51.719 --> 00:02:55.759 it stuck with me, that term, House of Hidden Meanings, because... 49 00:02:56.199 --> 00:02:59.819 I've always loved mysteries. I've always loved to look underneath 50 00:02:59.879 --> 00:03:04.270 the surface of an issue and figure out what's actually 51 00:03:04.310 --> 00:03:07.889 going on here. So I love the title. I decided 52 00:03:07.949 --> 00:03:10.229 to call the book that because so much of my 53 00:03:10.270 --> 00:03:19.530 life has been about uncovering the truth behind what lies beneath. Okay. 54 00:03:19.550 --> 00:03:23.150 So that actually brings me to a question that I 55 00:03:23.169 --> 00:03:26.909 feel less sheepish about. Because there are two themes that 56 00:03:26.990 --> 00:03:29.270 play right off of what you just said, seeing beneath 57 00:03:29.310 --> 00:03:32.389 the surface. There are two themes that just course right 58 00:03:32.409 --> 00:03:36.229 through the book. One is the idea that we're all performing. 59 00:03:37.030 --> 00:03:41.939 And the other is your desire to experience something real, 60 00:03:42.120 --> 00:03:46.659 to pierce the veil in some ways. And I'm interested 61 00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:50.240 in exploring the connection, if there is any, between these 62 00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:53.520 two themes. But let me just start with performance. You 63 00:03:53.560 --> 00:03:56.139 have said we're born naked and the rest is drag, 64 00:03:56.180 --> 00:03:59.319 which is a nugget of pure brilliance, in my opinion. 65 00:03:59.340 --> 00:04:02.259 And then very early in the book, you start talking 66 00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:06.159 about this issue of performance. It starts in relationship to 67 00:04:06.240 --> 00:04:08.860 your love for television. And I'm just going to read 68 00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:12.180 a quote to you from you back to you and 69 00:04:12.620 --> 00:04:14.479 get you to sort of unpack it on the back side. 70 00:04:14.939 --> 00:04:18.279 I love television.

Television to me represented the platonic ideal 71 00:04:18.339 --> 00:04:20.480 of reality. First of all, there was a moral code, 72 00:04:20.519 --> 00:04:24.009 the good guys vanquishing the bad guys, good triumphing over evil. 73 00:04:24.430 --> 00:04:26.350 But even more crucially, the fact that it was all 74 00:04:26.389 --> 00:04:30.689 performance was acknowledged. We knew these were actors playing roles 75 00:04:30.750 --> 00:04:33.550 because their names appeared in the credits. In the real world, 76 00:04:33.689 --> 00:04:36.680 everyone played parts too, but nobody talked about it. 77 00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:41.019 Yeah, well, you know, through my journeys as a seeker, 78 00:04:41.589 --> 00:04:44.209 All roads lead to the fact that we are an 79 00:04:44.449 --> 00:04:48.670 extension of the power that created the universe experiencing humanity. 80 00:04:49.009 --> 00:04:52.449 And it's not to be taken too seriously. And it's 81 00:04:52.529 --> 00:04:55.930 not to be really deeply hurt by it. Because it 82 00:04:55.970 --> 00:05:01.579 goes by so fast. Experience this life and then move on. Because, 83 00:05:01.639 --> 00:05:04.519 you know, is it the Alan Watts thing where he says, 84 00:05:04.720 --> 00:05:10.579 imagine if you could decide what you would dream each night. Because... 85 00:05:10.740 --> 00:05:13.459 When you wake up in the morning, you would be 86 00:05:13.600 --> 00:05:17.259 back to your old self and everything would be absolutely fine. 87 00:05:17.939 --> 00:05:23.730 But during that excursion in dream time, you would experience 88 00:05:23.769 --> 00:05:30.680 all this weirdness. You know, good, bad, indifferent, ugly, weird, lovely, 89 00:05:30.750 --> 00:05:33.699 all that stuff. And he says, that's really what we're doing. 90 00:05:33.860 --> 00:05:37.860 So we are, for lack of a better term, God 91 00:05:38.040 --> 00:05:44.339 experiencing humanity. you know, and it's a performance. It's temporary, 92 00:05:45.100 --> 00:05:45.860 like a costume. 93 00:05:47.480 --> 00:05:52.860 Well, what I'm interested in is you seem to love 94 00:05:52.899 --> 00:05:55.970 to play with performance, but you're also really interested in 95 00:05:56.050 --> 00:05:59.949 what's real beneath it. Is there a contradiction there? There is, 96 00:06:00.009 --> 00:06:00.329 there is. 97 00:06:00.430 --> 00:06:04.810 I mean, real, I mean, to actually see the mechanics 98 00:06:04.970 --> 00:06:07.600 of it, you know, there is the fantasy in terms 99 00:06:07.629 --> 00:06:11.300 of what love is. Like, There is the romantic idea 100 00:06:11.379 --> 00:06:14.839 of love, which has to do with the swooning and 101 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:20.589 this feeling of ecstasy. But when you really break that down, 102 00:06:20.810 --> 00:06:24.910 it is a chemical reaction that happens in your body. 103 00:06:25.529 --> 00:06:30.240 And it's actually not the kind of love that is sustainable. 104 00:06:30.839 --> 00:06:34.980 It is something that's fleeting. We learn over the course 105 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:37.740 of a lifetime that real love has to do with, 106 00:06:38.389 --> 00:06:43.569 respect and trust and kindness, all of these other things 107 00:06:43.610 --> 00:06:48.560 that really bear no resemblance to the romantic love that 108 00:06:48.660 --> 00:06:53.180 Nancy Meyers makes movies about and Diane Warren writes songs about. 109 00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:55.920 Real love is, oh my God, if you've been in 110 00:06:55.939 --> 00:06:57.040 a relationship for a long time. 111 00:06:57.100 --> 00:07:01.579 It's like, it's got all these other things attached to it. 112 00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:15.040 They don't make movies about that part. But when you 113 00:07:15.060 --> 00:07:16.680 look at the long tail of. 114 00:07:16.660 --> 00:07:20.319 It, it's like, oh, that's really what love is. That's 115 00:07:20.420 --> 00:07:22.279 really what love is. So it's that kind of thing. 116 00:07:22.339 --> 00:07:27.160 So yeah, it's a contradiction looking for the real. Real 117 00:07:27.220 --> 00:07:30.129 is probably the wrong word. It's sort of looking at 118 00:07:30.370 --> 00:07:35.009 a situation with x-ray eyes, with the knowledge of the 119 00:07:35.050 --> 00:07:37.990 Google Earth picture where you go, oh, I see. I 120 00:07:38.050 --> 00:07:40.750 see how that's in relation to this over here. You 121 00:07:40.769 --> 00:07:42.569 know what I'm saying, Dan Harris? 122 00:07:43.029 --> 00:07:45.910 I think I do. I think I do. But it's 123 00:07:45.949 --> 00:07:50.069 interesting because as I'm kind of groping around here, so 124 00:07:50.500 --> 00:07:52.980 please forgive me if I'm off the mark, but you 125 00:07:53.060 --> 00:07:57.339 start with the notion that you, Ru, like to search 126 00:07:57.379 --> 00:08:01.699 for the hidden meanings in this very interesting, mysterious existence 127 00:08:02.100 --> 00:08:05.500 in which we all find ourselves. And on the one hand, 128 00:08:05.579 --> 00:08:11.259 you really latch on to this idea of performance and play. 129 00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:17.980 And the other hand, there is this consistent, insistent, no 130 00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:23.610 bullshit desire to get in touch with something true, capital T. 131 00:08:24.029 --> 00:08:28.449 Yeah, absolutely. And both can exist at the same time, Dan. 132 00:08:28.959 --> 00:08:31.920 That's what's so beautiful about this whole thing is that 133 00:08:32.419 --> 00:08:36.419 it's not just one or the other. It both coexists 134 00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:38.559 at the same time. And that's the real secret of 135 00:08:38.620 --> 00:08:41.730 what we're doing here, that we can have both the 136 00:08:41.779 --> 00:08:48.610 fantasy and the stripped away reality, if you will, of 137 00:08:48.870 --> 00:08:49.610 what's going on. 138 00:08:51.309 --> 00:08:54.190 Early in your life, in the book, you talk about 139 00:08:55.320 --> 00:08:58.860 drugs as a way to kind of strip away some

140 00:08:58.899 --> 00:09:01.679 of the illusion. Can you say a little bit more 141 00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:02.080 about that? 142 00:09:03.740 --> 00:09:08.179 Yeah. I come from a very tumultuous household. My parents 143 00:09:08.220 --> 00:09:13.399 were insane. I was very sensitive and I watched television 144 00:09:13.460 --> 00:09:16.100 and I loved music. I love all of the beauty 145 00:09:16.139 --> 00:09:18.440 of things. And then when I was 10 years old, 146 00:09:18.500 --> 00:09:23.539 I was introduced to smoking weed, which alleviated some of 147 00:09:23.620 --> 00:09:28.639 the pressure to to adhere and to get involved with 148 00:09:28.740 --> 00:09:31.019 the mishigas that was going around me or trying to 149 00:09:31.100 --> 00:09:34.700 make sense of it. It alleviated some of the pressure 150 00:09:34.860 --> 00:09:37.750 of trying to figure out, how do I deal with this? 151 00:09:38.990 --> 00:09:41.509 And I had a sense early on that this was 152 00:09:41.769 --> 00:09:44.990 all an illusion and that it wasn't to be taken seriously. 153 00:09:45.049 --> 00:09:47.590 But when I started smoking weed at 10 years old, 154 00:09:48.250 --> 00:09:51.440 it was proof that it was all an illusion because 155 00:09:51.620 --> 00:09:56.250 it allowed me to laugh at it. all. And then 156 00:09:56.269 --> 00:10:01.769 I think I was 11 when Monty Python's Flying Circus 157 00:10:01.879 --> 00:10:07.220 came on PBS and I thought, oh, more proof that 158 00:10:07.860 --> 00:10:10.200 my tribe exists out there. And there are people who 159 00:10:10.299 --> 00:10:13.320 think the way I think, which is irreverent and funny 160 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:16.639 and to make fun of everything because I had a suspicion, 161 00:10:16.659 --> 00:10:21.490 a sneaking suspicion. that this was all an illusion and 162 00:10:21.529 --> 00:10:23.610 that it wasn't to be taken seriously. And I would 163 00:10:23.669 --> 00:10:27.700 try to, even at five years old, I would try 164 00:10:27.740 --> 00:10:30.759 to lean over to somebody and say, are you saying 165 00:10:30.940 --> 00:10:34.779 that the emperor is not wearing any clothes? And they wouldn't, 166 00:10:35.100 --> 00:10:37.539 people I would speak to at five, wouldn't say, yes, 167 00:10:37.639 --> 00:10:40.799 you're absolutely right, he's not wearing any clothes. And come 168 00:10:40.860 --> 00:10:43.799 over here and sit with me because we can get 169 00:10:43.840 --> 00:10:46.419 through this together. Now, I did have a little sense 170 00:10:46.440 --> 00:10:49.850 of that, though, with my sisters, my three sisters in 171 00:10:49.879 --> 00:10:52.809 that household. And we would laugh at everything. That was 172 00:10:53.029 --> 00:10:57.210 our way of dealing with our crazy parents' daytime nightmare, 173 00:10:57.649 --> 00:11:00.210 is that we would laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. So 174 00:11:00.289 --> 00:11:03.730 that's how drugs helped alleviate some of the pressure of 175 00:11:03.809 --> 00:11:10.929 trying to play along with the ridiculousness that society wanted 176 00:11:10.990 --> 00:11:12.379 me to join in on. 177 00:11:13.220 --> 00:11:17.019 If I read you correctly, there's an interesting, I don't 178 00:11:17.039 --> 00:11:19.799 know if contradiction is the right word, paradox, interesting interplay 179 00:11:19.879 --> 00:11:24.320 here because it's all an illusion, but you also write 180 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:28.179 about using the drugs to dissociate from the pain that 181 00:11:28.220 --> 00:11:29.649 existed beneath all of it. 182 00:11:31.779 --> 00:11:34.639 Well, the pain felt real. The pain felt real and 183 00:11:34.679 --> 00:11:37.200 it needed to be alleviated. There's a lot of pressure 184 00:11:37.220 --> 00:11:42.059 on for us humans to join into, you know, what's serious. 185 00:11:42.100 --> 00:11:45.179 I mean, if you look at the newspaper, there's so 186 00:11:45.340 --> 00:11:49.830 much attention put on sports and you're like, why is 187 00:11:49.889 --> 00:11:53.289 there so much attention on sports? I'm not interested in that. 188 00:11:54.049 --> 00:11:58.549 Who decided that we, I mean, it could very easily 189 00:11:58.649 --> 00:12:03.000 well be, you know, uh, synthetic wigs versus human hair 190 00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:07.360 wigs and lace fronts. And, um, Short wigs versus long wigs. 191 00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:09.820 It's like, okay, most people are not interested in that. 192 00:12:10.039 --> 00:12:15.220 I personally am interested in that. But it's absurd. Why 193 00:12:15.399 --> 00:12:22.250 so much on grown men throwing balls around? Who decided that? Well, 194 00:12:22.409 --> 00:12:26.110 the society decided that's what... No, the men who were 195 00:12:26.149 --> 00:12:30.549 interested in that decided that's what's important. It's like, gee whiz, 196 00:12:30.710 --> 00:12:36.389 so much. Anyway, long story long, when I found... people 197 00:12:36.429 --> 00:12:40.629 that helped me understand the absurdity of it all that 198 00:12:41.129 --> 00:12:46.000 confirmed my suspicion that it is absolutely absurd. Usually those 199 00:12:46.039 --> 00:12:49.899 people were the people I found while smoking weed, you know? So, 200 00:12:50.019 --> 00:12:56.299 cause they needed that, that respite, that sanctuary too. And 201 00:12:56.419 --> 00:12:58.220 that's where we found each other. 202 00:13:00.019 --> 00:13:01.059 Tell me more about your parents. 203 00:13:02.490 --> 00:13:06.629 They were just these country people who didn't understand how 204 00:13:06.669 --> 00:13:09.230 to navigate life, you know? And they were just, they 205 00:13:09.269 --> 00:13:11.169 were faking it with the rest of us. My mother 206 00:13:11.230 --> 00:13:17.580 was a world-weary person. And I think she tried, by 207 00:13:17.700 --> 00:13:20.120 marrying my father and getting involved with him, she tried 208 00:13:20.159 --> 00:13:25.139 to join into what was expected of her. But it 209

00:13:25.419 --> 00:13:30.639 just didn't work. She didn't have the processing tools to 210 00:13:30.679 --> 00:13:32.919 deal with what was going on inside of her. And 211 00:13:33.139 --> 00:13:35.889 I suspect, she didn't talk about her childhood or her 212 00:13:36.049 --> 00:13:42.090 background very much, but I suspected that something horrible had 213 00:13:42.149 --> 00:13:46.259 happened to her as a little girl. Something hideous and 214 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:51.000 unimaginable happened to her, which turned her world weary. So 215 00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:54.460 she married my father, who was very charismatic and laughed 216 00:13:54.539 --> 00:13:57.399 and all that, not very deep or not in touch 217 00:13:57.419 --> 00:14:01.480 with his emotional life, but seemed fun. But very superficial, 218 00:14:01.679 --> 00:14:06.190 my father. So it was doomed. It was doomed. These 219 00:14:06.250 --> 00:14:13.250 are country-ass people who never went deeper into introspection than 220 00:14:13.730 --> 00:14:18.870 what the Bible says. So I found it was my 221 00:14:18.909 --> 00:14:23.309 role to lift them up and to share my own 222 00:14:23.389 --> 00:14:28.620 emotional depth with them so that they could at least 223 00:14:28.659 --> 00:14:31.590 we can meet on a certain plane and go, oh, 224 00:14:31.830 --> 00:14:35.210 there you are. But they didn't have that. In fact, 225 00:14:35.529 --> 00:14:38.710 I saw a psychic many, many, like almost 40 years 226 00:14:38.750 --> 00:14:42.360 ago who said, well, Ru, you and your father had 227 00:14:42.409 --> 00:14:46.279 shared past lives together. So when you appeared in this 228 00:14:46.360 --> 00:14:49.639 one together, you were like, oh my God, buddy, let's 229 00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:51.120 do it. We're going to do it. We're going to 230 00:14:51.159 --> 00:14:53.610 do it. He couldn't see me. He could not see me. 231 00:14:53.990 --> 00:14:57.240 And I said, well, let me share my emotional life 232 00:14:57.299 --> 00:15:00.360 with you to remind you, to wake you up. Couldn't 233 00:15:00.399 --> 00:15:03.059 do it. So I spent a lifetime trying to share 234 00:15:03.100 --> 00:15:06.440 that and trying to shake him into recognition, but it 235 00:15:06.480 --> 00:15:09.269 just wasn't going to work. Same with my mother. My 236 00:15:09.309 --> 00:15:11.409 mother was just, she was dark and there was a 237 00:15:11.610 --> 00:15:14.870 depression over her. And I, you know, I would perform 238 00:15:14.929 --> 00:15:17.190 for her in the living room and she would laugh 239 00:15:17.450 --> 00:15:20.649 and then she would go back into that place. So 240 00:15:20.669 --> 00:15:21.879 that's what my parents were like. 241 00:15:23.559 --> 00:15:27.980 It sounds like their inaccessibility in their different ways was 242 00:15:28.039 --> 00:15:32.879 really like the primordial wound for you. Am I overstating that? No, no, no. 243 00:15:33.139 --> 00:15:35.590 But we were very different because I

was very different 244 00:15:35.629 --> 00:15:39.450 from them because I had the ability to create magic. 245 00:15:39.730 --> 00:15:43.570 I had the ability to, I like the term, hit 246 00:15:43.610 --> 00:15:46.929 that Google Earth button and go, oh, okay, I see 247 00:15:46.970 --> 00:15:50.230 what's really going on here. I see how that happened. 248 00:15:50.889 --> 00:15:54.419 They did not have the ability to, as an alchemist, 249 00:15:54.500 --> 00:15:57.500 to change the pH balance in the room the way 250 00:15:57.679 --> 00:15:58.000 I have. 251 00:15:59.879 --> 00:16:00.580 Where'd you get that from? 252 00:16:02.230 --> 00:16:04.409 I think it's a gift, honestly. I think it is 253 00:16:04.629 --> 00:16:07.429 absolutely a gift. There are theories that maybe I had 254 00:16:07.730 --> 00:16:11.009 past lives that allowed me to do it. I think 255 00:16:11.049 --> 00:16:15.860 it's a gift, honestly. Some people have other gifts. My sister, 256 00:16:15.879 --> 00:16:19.769 I have two sisters, Renee and Renetta, they're twins. They 257 00:16:19.789 --> 00:16:26.190 were my world. They were my Zen masters as a kid. 258 00:16:26.710 --> 00:16:31.490 I remember Renata, when I was maybe five or four, 259 00:16:32.049 --> 00:16:36.509 took me in the backyard and had a brown paper 260 00:16:36.549 --> 00:16:40.409 bag filled with cookies. And she had a blanket. And 261 00:16:40.460 --> 00:16:44.580 she laid the blanket out in the backyard, opened the cookies, 262 00:16:44.659 --> 00:16:47.700 and we ate some. And she said, Rue, this is 263 00:16:48.019 --> 00:16:53.440 a picnic. And I went, wow, wow, magic, a little magic. 264 00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:58.159 And that was part of my introduction to being a 265 00:16:58.179 --> 00:17:02.120 magician and how to conjure a magical situation. To anyone else, 266 00:17:02.179 --> 00:17:05.220 it was just a blanket and a bag of cookies. 267 00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:09.539 But she, in that moment, taught me how to create magic. 268 00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:14.000 It's just reminding me what you just said of another 269 00:17:14.519 --> 00:17:15.920 thing you wrote in the book. And so I'm just 270 00:17:15.960 --> 00:17:17.609 going to do this thing of reading it to you. 271 00:17:18.119 --> 00:17:19.980 and seeing if you're okay talking about it on the 272 00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:22.420 other end. The reason why I'm making this leap is 273 00:17:23.660 --> 00:17:27.329 when I hear you talk about the magic of this picnic, 274 00:17:28.509 --> 00:17:30.309 it really kind of takes it back in my mind 275 00:17:30.390 --> 00:17:34.150 to seeing what's real. And if you're really paying attention, 276 00:17:35.210 --> 00:17:38.380 everything is magic, right? I mean, the fact that we're 277 00:17:38.410 --> 00:17:44.579 here having this conversation is miraculous. And most of the 278 00:17:44.619 --> 00:17:48.250 time we're just in autopilot. So anyway, You, in this passage, 279 00:17:48.349 --> 00:17:52.269 talk about a car crash and how being in a 280 00:17:52.289 --> 00:17:56.039 car crash can feel real. It feels like, you know, 281 00:17:56.059 --> 00:17:59.160 a moment that snaps you, quote, out of the illusion, 282 00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:02.079 the waking daydream that we all move through in this, 283 00:18:02.299 --> 00:18:06.089 the world that we've created. Everyone's born awake, sharp and conscious. 284 00:18:06.380 --> 00:18:08.369 And then as you get older, you go back to sleep. 285 00:18:08.769 --> 00:18:11.569 But moments like near-death experiences can wake us up. You say, 286 00:18:12.009 --> 00:18:15.049 here's another quote, life can be bracing and difficult, even 287 00:18:15.089 --> 00:18:17.940 in all its magic. And when we taste its bitterness, 288 00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:20.660 we know that it is real and so too are we. 289 00:18:21.799 --> 00:18:24.549 So again, no question per se, but I'd just love 290 00:18:24.569 --> 00:18:26.609 to hear you say more about those words, which I 291 00:18:26.650 --> 00:18:28.369 think are really fascinating. 292 00:18:29.710 --> 00:18:33.829 Well, because we are magical beings or co-creators with whatever 293 00:18:33.890 --> 00:18:37.720 that thing is that created us, we can decide in 294 00:18:37.940 --> 00:18:43.349 any moment what is real. And that's pretty daunting because if, 295 00:18:43.480 --> 00:18:46.980 you know, glass half full, half empty, both choices are correct. 296 00:18:47.960 --> 00:18:50.599 But one choice will bring you joy and the other 297 00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:54.589 choice will bring you pain. Your decision. It's up to you. 298 00:18:54.940 --> 00:18:57.450 Life says, I'll be whatever you want me to be. 299 00:18:58.009 --> 00:19:01.630 And if you, like my mother, decides to focus on 300 00:19:01.670 --> 00:19:11.690 the darkness, what are you going to get? You're If 301 00:19:11.750 --> 00:19:15.349 I'm out of balance, out of alignment, I may lean 302 00:19:15.410 --> 00:19:21.299 toward the other choice. But I do have cognizant ability 303 00:19:21.480 --> 00:19:27.000 to change my trajectory throughout the day. I can reset 304 00:19:27.400 --> 00:19:31.759 my emotional reboot. I can do that. And that's magic. 305 00:19:31.859 --> 00:19:35.289 Those are the tricks we're talking about. That's what the 306 00:19:35.329 --> 00:19:39.910 book is really about. It's about learning how to navigate 307 00:19:40.250 --> 00:19:47.299 this emotional malleable consciousness throughout the day and yeah you 308 00:19:47.730 --> 00:19:56.019 decide what is real in what you want to focus on. 309 00:19:56.880 --> 00:19:58.839 It's easy for other people to look at your life 310 00:19:58.900 --> 00:20:02.740 and go, hon, I can see exactly the thing that 311 00:20:02.759 --> 00:20:07.400 you keep doing over and over again. But it's hard 312 00:20:07.740 --> 00:20:11.950 for me To see it. I've learned a few life 313 00:20:11.990 --> 00:20:14.670 hacks that allow me to see it, like as we 314

00:20:14.710 --> 00:20:17.009 were going to talk about meditation, which allows me to 315 00:20:17.069 --> 00:20:21.029 see myself and go, oh, right. I see what I 316 00:20:21.049 --> 00:20:24.069 keep doing. And then you can change that. Again, it's 317 00:20:24.130 --> 00:20:24.690 all magic. 318 00:20:25.609 --> 00:20:27.390 I think I've asked you this question before, but I'm curious. 319 00:20:27.470 --> 00:20:30.650 When you say meditation, what are you describing? 320 00:20:32.430 --> 00:20:34.650 I'm describing that moment in the morning. First thing I 321 00:20:34.670 --> 00:20:36.910 do when I get out of bed is I stretch 322 00:20:36.930 --> 00:20:40.460 because I have to. And then I pray. I'm not religious, 323 00:20:40.519 --> 00:20:43.019 but I do pray and I am thankful. And the 324 00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:48.160 act of prayer is a way for me to disarm 325 00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:54.140 my ego at the earliest moment of my waking and 326 00:20:54.200 --> 00:20:58.690 to be grateful for, oh my God, this brilliant, beautiful, 327 00:20:58.890 --> 00:21:05.450 amazing life. Then I meditate and I sit in the 328 00:21:05.509 --> 00:21:12.930 lotus position. and focus on my breathing, and I go 329 00:21:13.049 --> 00:21:18.250 into many different techniques. Well, I decide on what technique 330 00:21:18.289 --> 00:21:21.250 I'm going to do. You know, this morning, I focused 331 00:21:21.630 --> 00:21:26.279 on my earliest memory, started with my earliest memory, and 332 00:21:26.299 --> 00:21:31.779 then I go sort of in time-lapse fast motion to 333 00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:34.460 the next thing I remember, and then the next thing, 334 00:21:35.220 --> 00:21:40.250 up until This moment here. And it aligns me in 335 00:21:40.269 --> 00:21:42.569 a way. That one does. It aligns me in a 336 00:21:42.609 --> 00:21:48.990 way to be grateful of this experience that I've had. 337 00:21:49.390 --> 00:21:57.200 And it puts me in this place that feels right. 338 00:21:57.339 --> 00:22:00.559 It puts me in this moment right here. Because I've 339 00:22:01.380 --> 00:22:04.680 reenacted or remembered everything that brought me to this moment. 340 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:11.710 And I focus on this moment. And in this moment, again, 341 00:22:11.789 --> 00:22:17.589 I hit the Google Earth button and go, oh my gosh, roo, roo. 342 00:22:17.789 --> 00:22:19.589 You know, the thing that came up this morning was 343 00:22:20.029 --> 00:22:24.769 in 1991, I was on this tour of Italy and 344 00:22:24.990 --> 00:22:27.650 I was with a bunch of people. And one morning 345 00:22:27.690 --> 00:22:31.349 I got up before everyone else and I walked over 346 00:22:31.450 --> 00:22:34.849 to the Colosseum. And I was there, the sun was, 347 00:22:35.319 --> 00:22:39.380 just peeking over the horizon. And I remember thinking that 348 00:22:39.539 --> 00:22:43.579 I had surpassed my parents intellectually. Now, truth is, I 349 00:22:43.660 --> 00:22:47.609 surpassed my parents

intellectually many years before that. But it 350 00:22:47.670 --> 00:22:50.670 occurred to me in that moment that no one else 351 00:22:51.250 --> 00:22:55.869 in my whole family, anyone, it'd be interesting to know, 352 00:22:55.970 --> 00:22:59.509 but no one who had been in my family line, 353 00:22:59.529 --> 00:23:04.069 my family tree, had ever looked at the Colosseum in 354 00:23:04.130 --> 00:23:09.369 Rome as the sun was coming up before. But that's 355 00:23:09.390 --> 00:23:11.329 what came to me. And again, I don't know what 356 00:23:11.410 --> 00:23:16.529 effect that recollection had on me, but that's what came up. 357 00:23:17.049 --> 00:23:21.730 And I guess what it really reminds me is that 358 00:23:21.970 --> 00:23:25.849 I am anointed. I am the golden child. This is 359 00:23:25.950 --> 00:23:29.130 not my ego speaking. This is to remind me, is 360 00:23:29.690 --> 00:23:33.160 to be grateful and to understand what my role was. 361 00:23:33.690 --> 00:23:37.730 is here and to not take it for granted. And 362 00:23:37.809 --> 00:23:39.710 I guess it's not even important for me to figure 363 00:23:39.769 --> 00:23:41.970 out what it means, but that's what came up in 364 00:23:42.009 --> 00:23:45.210 my morning meditation. And I have other techniques in it. 365 00:23:45.450 --> 00:23:49.049 One which I learned from Eckhart Tolle is imagine when 366 00:23:49.089 --> 00:23:53.009 I do my meditation, imagine I'm dead. Imagine I'm no 367 00:23:53.069 --> 00:23:58.170 longer here. And again, that disarms the ego. And there's 368 00:23:58.210 --> 00:24:08.339 this vastness in that idea. That is, it's really brilliant, actually. 369 00:24:08.359 --> 00:24:09.500 Yeah. 370 00:24:09.660 --> 00:24:12.720 So, yeah, that's what I mean when I say meditation. 371 00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:17.200 And it all does seem to come back to this 372 00:24:17.799 --> 00:24:23.210 smashing of the Google Earth button to pierce the veil 373 00:24:24.349 --> 00:24:27.549 and provide some perspective and wake you up out of 374 00:24:27.569 --> 00:24:32.009 the habitual reflexive mode, default mode that most of us 375 00:24:32.089 --> 00:24:38.900 are lumbering around in. When you said, remind me of 376 00:24:38.940 --> 00:24:43.140 what my role is, what do you think your role is? 377 00:24:44.619 --> 00:24:46.940 My role is I am an extension of the power 378 00:24:46.980 --> 00:24:50.039 that created the universe, and it is to experience humanity, 379 00:24:50.440 --> 00:24:52.410 to get out there and touch it and feel it. 380 00:24:52.660 --> 00:24:54.789 You know, when I first got a computer, I was 381 00:24:54.849 --> 00:24:57.609 late to the laptop computer game. I think I got 382 00:24:57.660 --> 00:25:02.190 my first one in 1999 or something like that. And 383 00:25:03.170 --> 00:25:06.670 my computer tutor said, Rue, When I come back next week, 384 00:25:06.910 --> 00:25:11.170 I want to see that you have effed this computer up. 385 00:25:11.789 --> 00:25:14.109 I want you to have gotten in here and dug 386 00:25:14.150 --> 00:25:16.569 around and effed it up. It says, when I come back, 387 00:25:16.690 --> 00:25:19.230 I can fix it. I can fix every, it'll be fine. 388 00:25:19.539 --> 00:25:22.079 But I need to know that you are getting in 389 00:25:22.119 --> 00:25:27.220 there and getting dirty and effing it up. And I 390 00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:29.980 love that because he did come back the next week 391 00:25:30.039 --> 00:25:31.700 and fix it. And there were all these little, I 392 00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:37.099 remember there were these bugs everywhere. that on the surface, 393 00:25:38.099 --> 00:25:40.059 I'd put it in the trash and then it would 394 00:25:40.079 --> 00:25:42.059 just come back immediately, come in the trash. It's like, 395 00:25:42.660 --> 00:25:46.440 it's something deeper than that. It's something deeper. And he 396 00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:48.900 would come and he would fix it. And then I would, 397 00:25:49.029 --> 00:25:51.490 the next week, do it all over again. So my 398 00:25:51.549 --> 00:25:55.789 role as a co-creator with, I use the term God 399 00:25:55.829 --> 00:25:58.049 because that's the word we in our culture use for 400 00:25:58.109 --> 00:26:01.470 that which cannot be explained. We don't have words for it. 401 00:26:01.750 --> 00:26:07.009 It's bigger than our ridiculous vocabulary. So I'm a co-creator. 402 00:26:07.170 --> 00:26:11.240 And so my role is to get in there and 403 00:26:11.579 --> 00:26:17.640 F it up, kick the consciousness in the country breakfast. 404 00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:18.599 This is a family show. 405 00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:20.619 I'm going to say- You can say whatever you want 406 00:26:20.660 --> 00:26:22.039 on the show. It's not a family show. 407 00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:27.150 I'm going to kick the zeitgeist in the country breakfast. 408 00:26:37.650 --> 00:26:40.710 So that's my role. That's my role. And I have 409 00:26:40.849 --> 00:26:46.950 done it. I have done almost the impossible, which is 410 00:26:47.069 --> 00:26:51.470 funny to me. It's so funny. It's so great. I 411 00:26:51.579 --> 00:26:54.940 love it. I love it. It's everything that... I loved 412 00:26:54.980 --> 00:26:59.079 about Monty Python and Andy Warhol and David Bowie and 413 00:26:59.259 --> 00:27:02.619 all of my heroes, you know, I love it. 414 00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:06.900 Do you see your role in the, you know, the 415 00:27:07.220 --> 00:27:10.460 kicking the zeitgeist in the country breakfast? Do you see 416 00:27:10.519 --> 00:27:11.779 it as a service? 417 00:27:13.339 --> 00:27:13.799 Oh yes. 418 00:27:14.259 --> 00:27:20.009 Oh yes. Yes. Because this is what, whatever this thing is, 419 00:27:20.049 --> 00:27:25.390 this creator, whatever that thing is, it wants to experience something. humanity, good, bad. 420 00:27:25.829 --> 00:27:29.849 There's no judgment. There's no right or wrong. There is 421 00:27:29.869 --> 00:27:33.329 a moral

right or wrong that I don't want to 422 00:27:33.609 --> 00:27:39.470 impede on another human's pleasure or their space or their time. 423 00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:47.039 But in my teachings in being a seeker, you have 424 00:27:47.079 --> 00:27:50.039 to contemplate the idea that what if there is no 425 00:27:50.099 --> 00:27:53.140 right or wrong? What if It's all good. Just like 426 00:27:53.180 --> 00:27:56.059 the Alan Watts thing. When we wake up, it's all 427 00:27:56.099 --> 00:27:58.680 going to be fixed. When my computer tutor comes back, 428 00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:01.500 he just, oh, it's okay. It's all good. There's no 429 00:28:01.539 --> 00:28:03.089 right or wrong. It's all going to be fixed. It's 430 00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:05.009 all going to be fine because this is all temporary. 431 00:28:05.089 --> 00:28:08.049 This is all an illusion, this thing that we're in 432 00:28:08.109 --> 00:28:11.309 right here. It's all fine. Now, within that, of course, 433 00:28:11.329 --> 00:28:16.170 there is a moral compass, and I am a kind person. 434 00:28:16.390 --> 00:28:23.309 I am a person who is very conscious of your 435 00:28:23.369 --> 00:28:27.289 feelings and of the feelings of the people who are 436 00:28:27.329 --> 00:28:30.730 around me, it is important for me to branch out 437 00:28:30.950 --> 00:28:33.910 and do things. And, you know, yeah, I've done a 438 00:28:33.930 --> 00:28:37.430 lot of fun, fun stuff. And that is that my 439 00:28:37.470 --> 00:28:41.670 role is to be of service to this gift, this 440 00:28:41.890 --> 00:28:46.099 magical gift I've been given. You know, many years, you know, 441 00:28:46.119 --> 00:28:47.880 it wasn't until I got into drag that I realized 442 00:28:47.940 --> 00:28:50.460 I had a great pair of legs. I had no idea. 443 00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:50.559 Yeah. 444 00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:56.789 And I wouldn't have known had I not, you know, 445 00:28:56.829 --> 00:28:59.470 tried some new things, tried some new things, branch out, 446 00:28:59.829 --> 00:29:02.369 see what it's like being of service to this body, 447 00:29:02.430 --> 00:29:05.230 seeing what it's like to try things outside of what 448 00:29:05.490 --> 00:29:11.460 society expects or wants, whatever, you know. 449 00:29:14.660 --> 00:29:18.140 I think the service, in my opinion, for whatever that's worth, 450 00:29:18.339 --> 00:29:24.450 has gone beyond the providing of joy and excitement to 451 00:29:24.470 --> 00:29:28.799 your fans. I think it's also, you know, and you 452 00:29:28.819 --> 00:29:31.819 talk about finding this for yourself in the book, a 453 00:29:31.859 --> 00:29:35.569 lot about finding your community, finding your people after having 454 00:29:36.569 --> 00:29:39.970 been not accepted in many ways, being called a sissy, 455 00:29:40.059 --> 00:29:42.380 growing up and then you finally find your people you 456 00:29:42.420 --> 00:29:46.799 find the world of drag you have given that to 457 00:29:46.940 --> 00:29:50.369 countless people whether they're interested in drag or not just 458 00:29:50.410 --> 00:29:53.410 the idea that it's okay to be whoever the hell you. 459 00:29:53.470 --> 00:29:59.089 Are yeah it's great now listen now this isn't it's 460 00:29:59.170 --> 00:30:03.509 not just a selfless thing. My motivation is to go 461 00:30:03.569 --> 00:30:07.329 out and have some fun. I love to laugh. I love, 462 00:30:07.690 --> 00:30:13.740 you know, yeah, sure. One of the great extras from 463 00:30:13.940 --> 00:30:17.200 doing that is, you know, it has brought other people 464 00:30:17.259 --> 00:30:20.799 some joy and given them some recognition, but don't get 465 00:30:20.839 --> 00:30:28.299 it twisted. I'm doing this solely to entertain myself. It 466 00:30:28.359 --> 00:30:32.079 starts there. I always said, listen, if other people get 467 00:30:32.119 --> 00:30:34.799 something out of what I'm doing, I'm like, right on, buddy, 468 00:30:34.980 --> 00:30:38.500 right on. But I'm doing this for me. I'm doing 469 00:30:38.539 --> 00:30:41.819 this because I need to entertain myself. I want to 470 00:30:41.859 --> 00:30:46.240 have some fun. Dan, there's not enough fun going on anymore. 471 00:30:46.259 --> 00:30:49.309 You know, when I was growing up, there were signs. 472 00:30:49.509 --> 00:30:51.069 You drive down the street, you ride down the street, 473 00:30:51.089 --> 00:30:55.170 and there were signs that said, cocktails, dancing, cocktails, dancing, disco, 474 00:30:55.559 --> 00:30:59.339 dancing and roller disco. It's none of that. People are 475 00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:03.539 looking at their phones and they're doing this myopic dance 476 00:31:03.579 --> 00:31:09.230 with themselves. There's no community unless it's an online community 477 00:31:09.289 --> 00:31:12.170 or something, but we are not having fun. We are 478 00:31:12.329 --> 00:31:15.390 not having fun. I keep my roller skates in the 479 00:31:15.430 --> 00:31:17.309 trunk of my car and I'll drive up to a 480 00:31:18.109 --> 00:31:21.170 parking garage at the very top floor where there's no 481 00:31:21.230 --> 00:31:24.140 roof and open the car doors and put a speaker 482 00:31:24.180 --> 00:31:26.859 out there and just have my own roller disco. And 483 00:31:26.900 --> 00:31:30.069 George has his pair and we roll a disco by ourselves. 484 00:31:30.109 --> 00:31:36.009 But where is the fun? Where is the fun? Where's 485 00:31:36.049 --> 00:31:45.049 the disco? Disco crossed that line where it challenged people 486 00:31:45.829 --> 00:31:50.250 to get in touch with what's going on inside of them. 487 00:31:50.769 --> 00:31:54.880 with their spirit. Because dancing around a fire, the disco lights, 488 00:31:55.019 --> 00:31:57.819 that's the fire. And then dancing around a fire, the 489 00:31:57.880 --> 00:32:02.299 tribal spirit, we conjure the spirit when we dance around 490 00:32:02.339 --> 00:32:06.269 the fire. And what happens is people became afraid of

that, 491 00:32:06.460 --> 00:32:10.190 afraid of their spirit. Because all the ancients, the ascended 492 00:32:10.230 --> 00:32:14.589 masters say, if you were able to be in this 493 00:32:14.650 --> 00:32:17.839 moment right now, the first thing you would recognize is 494 00:32:17.880 --> 00:32:20.970 how much pain you're in. And if you were to 495 00:32:21.069 --> 00:32:26.390 conjure that spirit right now, that spirit would let you 496 00:32:26.450 --> 00:32:28.750 know that you're in a lot of pain and nobody 497 00:32:28.809 --> 00:32:31.569 wants to deal with that pain. So it's easier to 498 00:32:31.609 --> 00:32:33.710 be distracted with your phone in front of your face. 499 00:32:33.769 --> 00:32:38.309 But that's what happened to disco. Disco didn't die. People 500 00:32:39.549 --> 00:32:42.450 who couldn't dance or couldn't get in touch with their spirit, 501 00:32:42.990 --> 00:32:47.170 shut it down. They shut it down. And we are 502 00:32:47.230 --> 00:32:52.259 right now, In a place where the spirit is so 503 00:32:52.359 --> 00:32:55.700 shut down. It is so shut down. That's why even 504 00:32:55.720 --> 00:32:59.619 this conversation we're having is so revolutionary. Because to wake 505 00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:06.309 people from their daytime nightmare is a revolutionary act. And 506 00:33:06.529 --> 00:33:08.369 it's going to take a lot. I thought COVID was 507 00:33:08.390 --> 00:33:11.049 going to do it. I thought the pandemic was going 508 00:33:11.069 --> 00:33:13.890 to shake the world the way that World War II 509 00:33:14.839 --> 00:33:19.680 shook the world into being present. It didn't. But it 510 00:33:19.740 --> 00:33:23.329 will happen. It will happen. Unfortunately, it's going to hurt 511 00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:26.269 a lot. It's going to hurt a lot to wake 512 00:33:26.329 --> 00:33:28.089 everybody up. 513 00:33:29.130 --> 00:33:32.269 This hurt that you're predicting, is that why I read 514 00:33:32.309 --> 00:33:36.910 that you're building a compound in Wyoming with your husband, George, 515 00:33:36.930 --> 00:33:41.819 who you referenced before? Is this what you're referencing? When 516 00:33:41.859 --> 00:33:43.420 you talk about the hurt that's going to come, is 517 00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:45.119 that what you're kind of pointing at? 518 00:33:46.559 --> 00:33:47.579 Probably, yeah. 519 00:33:47.759 --> 00:33:48.000 I mean. 520 00:33:48.819 --> 00:33:50.680 I don't know if there is escaping it. I mean, 521 00:33:50.759 --> 00:33:53.940 I guess you could prepare for it. But the scariest 522 00:33:53.960 --> 00:33:57.410 thing on this planet to me is ignorance. It's unconsciousness. 523 00:33:57.509 --> 00:33:59.509 And of course, when people are walking down the street or, 524 00:33:59.970 --> 00:34:02.910 God forbid, driving their car like this with the phone 525 00:34:02.930 --> 00:34:07.190 in front of their face, that's unconsciousness. Remember about 15 526 00:34:07.190 --> 00:34:12.519 years ago, there were all these movies about zombies. And 527 00:34:12.539 --> 00:34:15.900 there still are. But those movies were a parable for 528 00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:20.429 where we are today. They were symbolic of this unconsciousness, 529 00:34:21.010 --> 00:34:27.269 that this is almost like a thought disease that has 530 00:34:27.590 --> 00:34:32.469 taken over the world, you know? And it's really scary. 531 00:34:33.309 --> 00:34:36.719 So I don't know if a compound, actually, I don't, 532 00:34:37.179 --> 00:34:41.579 you know, Wyoming is actually very, yeah, I'm not going 533 00:34:41.619 --> 00:34:47.460 to say it. I mean, yeah. I don't know. There's 534 00:34:47.500 --> 00:34:49.320 no escaping it. We're all going to have to go 535 00:34:49.360 --> 00:34:50.000 through it together. 536 00:34:51.000 --> 00:34:54.539 So the compound might provide you some distance and physical safety, 537 00:34:54.599 --> 00:34:58.179 but whatever tumult we endure, you can't really opt out. 538 00:34:59.500 --> 00:35:03.039 No, you can't. We all did this together. We're not 539 00:35:03.099 --> 00:35:05.619 separate from one another. There's only one of us here. 540 00:35:06.139 --> 00:35:09.280 Our perception, if you hit that Google Earth button, you realize... 541 00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:13.400 Our ego makes us think that we're separate from one another, 542 00:35:13.460 --> 00:35:17.000 but we are not. We are one thing. We are 543 00:35:17.280 --> 00:35:22.159 one thing. And so that's why the revolution will come 544 00:35:22.199 --> 00:35:25.900 from within. It will start from within and it will 545 00:35:26.380 --> 00:35:29.579 reverberate through all of us. That's why the work that 546 00:35:29.619 --> 00:35:35.199 we do with this podcast or with our meditation or 547 00:35:35.739 --> 00:35:41.389 with learning to love ourselves is so important. On this 548 00:35:41.449 --> 00:35:45.250 book tour, I opened with telling everybody that I've put 549 00:35:45.289 --> 00:35:48.590 a picture of myself as a kid on my phone. 550 00:35:49.090 --> 00:35:51.630 This is me at five years old on my phone 551 00:35:51.889 --> 00:35:58.449 to remind myself of who it is I'm actually dealing with, 552 00:35:58.739 --> 00:36:03.820 whose sweet, kind heart I am looking after, who I'm 553 00:36:03.900 --> 00:36:09.860 caring for. And that small gesture on my phone is 554 00:36:10.070 --> 00:36:16.170 revolutionary because how I treat myself, my kid who lives 555 00:36:16.210 --> 00:36:20.389 inside of me, who's still there, is a direct reflection 556 00:36:20.449 --> 00:36:22.849 of how I treat other people in the world. I 557 00:36:22.909 --> 00:36:26.030 learned from my parents how to treat that kid and 558 00:36:26.050 --> 00:36:30.920 it was terrible. Now I get the opportunity to reparent 559 00:36:31.400 --> 00:36:34.460 that kid and treat him with so much love and 560 00:36:34.500 --> 00:36:42.010 so much kindness to where it alleviates The pain that 561 00:36:42.050 -->

00:36:44.670 we feel in this moment, that I feel in this moment. 562 00:36:44.730 --> 00:36:48.670 I've learned how to process those feelings the way my parents, 563 00:36:48.889 --> 00:36:50.929 they didn't know how to do it. And we talked 564 00:36:50.969 --> 00:36:56.030 about the drugs and alcohol. It forced me to learn 565 00:36:56.130 --> 00:36:58.989 how to process those feelings. You know, drugs and alcohol 566 00:36:59.030 --> 00:37:04.090 were a makeshift processing tool until I was able to 567 00:37:04.130 --> 00:37:07.769 learn how to actually do it. The drugs and alcohol 568 00:37:07.869 --> 00:37:11.989 put my feelings, my emotional life on hold until I 569 00:37:12.250 --> 00:37:16.860 had the wherewithal to learn how to deal with those feelings. 570 00:37:17.429 --> 00:37:20.019 And now I do. I've been in a 12-step program. 571 00:37:20.460 --> 00:37:23.239 In August, it'll be 25 years I've been in this 572 00:37:23.260 --> 00:37:27.599 12-step program. And through this, I learn how to process 573 00:37:27.619 --> 00:37:32.320 those feelings. And part of the process in those feelings 574 00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:34.559 are dealing with that kid who lives inside of me. 575 00:37:35.110 --> 00:37:40.730 And that is a revolution because me dealing with those feelings, 576 00:37:40.750 --> 00:37:45.320 that child inside of me, changes the pH balance of 577 00:37:45.380 --> 00:37:48.539 the entire world. Us even just talking about it right now, 578 00:37:49.219 --> 00:37:53.420 the people listening will be reminded that there is a 579 00:37:53.480 --> 00:38:00.019 kid inside of them who needs your attention. And it 580 00:38:00.039 --> 00:38:04.800 will only take attention from one person. That's you. It's 581 00:38:04.820 --> 00:38:07.619 the only person. You know, over my life, I've tried 582 00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:10.059 to pawn this kid who lives inside of me off 583 00:38:10.139 --> 00:38:13.480 on other people, other things. Here, would you take care 584 00:38:13.500 --> 00:38:16.780 of my child? Would you please? Are you my daddy? 585 00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:19.269 Would you please take care of my child? Child doesn't 586 00:38:19.289 --> 00:38:21.949 want anybody else. Only wants one person, and that person 587 00:38:22.010 --> 00:38:24.570 is you. And this is a revolution. This is revolutionary talk. 588 00:38:24.789 --> 00:38:28.969 This type of consciousness is the only thing that will 589 00:38:29.050 --> 00:38:32.949 change the trajectory of this world we're living in. It's 590 00:38:33.090 --> 00:38:36.139 the revolution itself. is it's not going to be televised. 591 00:38:36.239 --> 00:38:39.860 It's a revolution that is inside of you. This is 592 00:38:39.900 --> 00:38:40.519 where it begins. 593 00:38:42.590 --> 00:38:47.550 Coming up, RuPaul talks about his daily spiritual practices, talking 594 00:38:47.570 --> 00:38:51.739 to his inner child, and an incredible business idea he has. I. 595 00:38:59.300 --> 00:39:02.710

Am very interested in self-love and I a million percent 596 00:39:02.730 --> 00:39:05.010 agree with you that it is not selfish. It really, 597 00:39:05.610 --> 00:39:09.590 it's inexorably linked to how we treat other people. It is, however, 598 00:39:09.710 --> 00:39:12.389 one of these kind of cultural cliches, you know, it's 599 00:39:12.500 --> 00:39:15.460 kind of knitted onto throw pillows and used as a 600 00:39:15.480 --> 00:39:18.500 hashtag or whatever. And so I'm curious, like when it 601 00:39:18.579 --> 00:39:22.159 comes down to brass tacks for you, Rue, what are 602 00:39:22.219 --> 00:39:26.469 the practices that help you actually create a relationship with 603 00:39:26.530 --> 00:39:28.130 the five-year-old who's on your home screen? 604 00:39:29.570 --> 00:39:32.409 That's a great... question. And we talked about it earlier. 605 00:39:32.429 --> 00:39:37.050 I do have a spiritual practice and it starts very early. 606 00:39:37.429 --> 00:39:39.179 The first thing I do when I wake up, I stretch, 607 00:39:39.610 --> 00:39:43.400 I pray, and then I meditate. And that creates an 608 00:39:44.219 --> 00:39:47.840 equilibrium that allows me to be in touch, not just 609 00:39:47.960 --> 00:39:53.889 with my physical body, but the source, that thing that 610 00:39:53.909 --> 00:39:57.909 cannot be described. And it acknowledges that there is a 611 00:39:57.949 --> 00:40:02.590 thing and that my ego is not that thing. Now, listen, 612 00:40:02.630 --> 00:40:05.289 the ego doesn't go away. It's always there. My darkness, 613 00:40:05.650 --> 00:40:09.670 my dark passenger, it's always there. It's always there. But 614 00:40:10.179 --> 00:40:14.179 in that spiritual practice, I'm allowed to have an even 615 00:40:14.239 --> 00:40:20.449 playing field. My dark passenger never goes away. But what 616 00:40:20.550 --> 00:40:26.269 I can do is I can fortify and strengthen the 617 00:40:26.449 --> 00:40:30.469 other side of it, my spiritual life, to remind me 618 00:40:30.829 --> 00:40:33.219 of who I really am. And who I really am 619 00:40:33.960 --> 00:40:36.900 is an extension of the power that created the whole universe. 620 00:40:36.940 --> 00:40:42.099 So that alone, that one thing, having a spiritual practice 621 00:40:42.219 --> 00:40:48.550 and reminding myself, yourself, that that is real, That's where 622 00:40:48.570 --> 00:40:52.630 the revolution begins. Then it transfers into how you walk 623 00:40:53.329 --> 00:40:57.719 and integrate in this world. It seems like a small thing, 624 00:40:58.739 --> 00:41:01.579 but it is huge. And I think, and I talked 625 00:41:01.619 --> 00:41:07.420 about this earlier, the fact that there is no dancing, 626 00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:12.559 that there isn't a disco on every corner. I know 627 00:41:12.599 --> 00:41:14.559 we laugh at that, you know, because disco is such 628 00:41:14.579 --> 00:41:20.090 a bad, bad rap, you know, but It is huge. 629 00:41:20.110 --> 00:41:22.309 I was just driving the other day and there's these 630 00:41:22.449 --> 00:41:27.610 beautiful churches all over the city with these great real estate. 631 00:41:29.110 --> 00:41:33.579 That should be a disco. That should be a frigging 632 00:41:33.940 --> 00:41:38.039 disco where people can... A daytime disco. You know, Graham's here. 633 00:41:38.159 --> 00:41:44.190 You know, I'm in bed by 8.30. I want to 634 00:41:44.210 --> 00:41:47.489 go to a disco at 11 o'clock in the daytime. 635 00:41:48.829 --> 00:41:51.530 And have lunch there. Maybe there are smoothies there. Maybe 636 00:41:51.550 --> 00:41:55.690 they have lockers. No phones allowed. And I think you'd 637 00:41:55.730 --> 00:41:58.849 have to be over 40 to get a membership at 638 00:41:58.889 --> 00:42:02.449 this disco. And we would dance and sweat. I sweat 639 00:42:02.750 --> 00:42:06.570 like a pig when I dance. I'm soaking wet. So 640 00:42:06.590 --> 00:42:09.449 I would have some, it's just like a gym, where 641 00:42:09.510 --> 00:42:12.239 I'd meet my disco clothes in a locker. And then 642 00:42:12.280 --> 00:42:15.199 I'd take a shower, clean up, and go. And I'm 643 00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:18.280 back home maybe by 2 o'clock. Or maybe you could 644 00:42:18.340 --> 00:42:22.949 go after work, skip traffic, and then when traffic is over, 645 00:42:24.210 --> 00:42:26.769 you know, because the disco would close at like 9 o'clock. 646 00:42:31.750 --> 00:42:34.570 For us, you know, the over 40 crowd. Or in 647 00:42:34.610 --> 00:42:42.880 my case, the over 60 crowd. Dan, can you dance? 648 00:42:42.940 --> 00:42:43.260 Do you know? 649 00:42:43.699 --> 00:42:46.380 This is actually a sore subject, but it's something I've 650 00:42:46.400 --> 00:42:49.650 been thinking about a lot. A lot, actually. I will 651 00:42:49.690 --> 00:42:52.289 sometimes dance with my son, who's nine, but I'm very 652 00:42:52.349 --> 00:42:56.469 self-conscious and is one of these things that I want 653 00:42:56.489 --> 00:42:58.190 to say I'm self-critical about, but not in a way 654 00:42:58.230 --> 00:43:02.809 that I'm like self-lacerating or, you know, hating myself for. 655 00:43:02.829 --> 00:43:05.590 But it's an area of growth that I'm aware of 656 00:43:05.650 --> 00:43:08.969 that I'm very interested in. And I really agree with 657 00:43:09.269 --> 00:43:12.289 I think what you're talking about is a business model 658 00:43:12.349 --> 00:43:15.679 that somebody should pursue, because I think there are a 659 00:43:15.719 --> 00:43:16.280 lot of takers. 660 00:43:17.739 --> 00:43:23.320 Yeah. Listen, there's no bad dancing. It is unlocking the spirit, 661 00:43:23.380 --> 00:43:26.869 the child. It's unlocking that and not judging it because 662 00:43:26.949 --> 00:43:30.110 that judgment you're talking about is a way that we 663 00:43:30.130 --> 00:43:33.449 were taught to judge that child who lives inside of you. 664 00:43:33.889 --> 00:43:37.150 There's no bad way of dancing. It is you access

665 00:43:38.010 --> 00:43:41.420 the spirit. You are calling up the spirit. You don't 666 00:43:41.579 --> 00:43:45.179 judge the spirit. The spirit is what it is. It's 667 00:43:45.219 --> 00:43:47.599 a part of you. So, That is a place to 668 00:43:47.659 --> 00:43:53.380 start working on this area of releasing the judgment of 669 00:43:54.019 --> 00:43:57.059 the dance. I mean, we are all dancing anyway. Life 670 00:43:57.260 --> 00:44:03.860 is a dance. So for anyone listening, once you release 671 00:44:03.909 --> 00:44:06.489 the judgment of that's a great thing. By the way, 672 00:44:06.949 --> 00:44:10.570 I actually can dance. I was in ninth grade. I 673 00:44:10.610 --> 00:44:15.489 won Best Afro. And I won best dancer at my 674 00:44:15.800 --> 00:44:22.099 junior high school. By the way, it wasn't because I 675 00:44:22.360 --> 00:44:24.260 was the best dancer and I did have the best Afro, 676 00:44:24.300 --> 00:44:27.800 but I won that prize because I was hanging out 677 00:44:27.829 --> 00:44:31.630 with the right people. Everything is political, right? So I 678 00:44:31.670 --> 00:44:33.929 was hanging out with the right people. That is why 679 00:44:34.110 --> 00:44:36.349 I nabbed that. 680 00:44:37.849 --> 00:44:40.659 You mentioned roller dancing, that you and George keep your 681 00:44:40.679 --> 00:44:44.389 skates in your cars. How consistent are you about dancing 682 00:44:44.650 --> 00:44:48.030 or roller skating as like a, I'm going to use 683 00:44:48.050 --> 00:44:48.829 the word practice? 684 00:44:50.869 --> 00:44:53.070 Well, as often as it comes out, I work, I 685 00:44:53.110 --> 00:44:56.590 like to work. I'm always busy with work, but you know, 686 00:44:56.650 --> 00:44:58.849 even at the studio, we're about to go into season 687 00:44:58.849 --> 00:45:02.369 17 of our television show. I will bring my roller 688 00:45:02.389 --> 00:45:05.949 skates to the soundstage and sometimes there's an empty stage 689 00:45:05.989 --> 00:45:08.889 there and I will use them there. How consistent? As 690 00:45:09.050 --> 00:45:11.409 often as I possibly can. Now, I am an adult 691 00:45:11.429 --> 00:45:13.010 and I do have to work. There's a mortgage I 692 00:45:13.030 --> 00:45:17.300 have to pay. So as often as I can. It's 693 00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:20.739 not often enough, I'll tell you that. We have a 694 00:45:21.019 --> 00:45:25.420 disco at our house and these huge speakers. I don't 695 00:45:25.559 --> 00:45:28.940 dance enough. I would dance every single day. I don't 696 00:45:29.179 --> 00:45:34.889 dance enough. But if you're ever here in Los Angeles, 697 00:45:35.710 --> 00:45:38.610 I'm going to put those speakers on, and what's your 698 00:45:38.630 --> 00:45:42.710 go-to song? Do you remember, Dan, the first unit of 699 00:45:42.829 --> 00:45:46.769 music that you ever owned? I had a 45 of 700 00:45:47.730 --> 00:45:50.250 The Spinners, Could It Be I'm Falling In Love, was 701 00:45:50.289 --> 00:45:53.829 the first record that I owned. Do you remember the 702 00:45:53.869 --> 00:45:57.570 first unit of music that you possessed? 703 00:45:58.650 --> 00:46:02.349 The song that's coming to mind that I remember putting 704 00:46:02.610 --> 00:46:04.800 on by myself all the time, I don't know if 705 00:46:04.860 --> 00:46:07.840 I bought the record or not, But it's the first 706 00:46:07.860 --> 00:46:12.030 song on Fleetwood Mac, the Fleetwood Mac record, Rumors. And 707 00:46:12.070 --> 00:46:14.789 it comes on with that twangy guitar. And I remember 708 00:46:14.829 --> 00:46:16.269 dancing in front of the speakers. 709 00:46:17.989 --> 00:46:19.909 Was it Don't Stop? 710 00:46:20.530 --> 00:46:26.469 Secondhand news. I still get a little choked up when 711 00:46:26.530 --> 00:46:29.139 I hear that song. It reminds me of my parents. 712 00:46:30.500 --> 00:46:34.380 See, it's conjuring the spirit. It conjures the spirit that 713 00:46:34.400 --> 00:46:39.150 you carry with you. And you cannot ignore that. Because again, 714 00:46:39.429 --> 00:46:43.789 the child in you, and that is the conduit, that's 715 00:46:43.869 --> 00:46:52.789 the channel to which all of us can find sanctuary 716 00:46:53.349 --> 00:46:58.070 and spirit and peace, honestly. Because we have so much 717 00:46:58.230 --> 00:47:03.139 unrest in this, not only this country, but in the 718 00:47:03.179 --> 00:47:08.000 world right now. And it's because we have become unconscious. 719 00:47:09.119 --> 00:47:15.639 And unconscious out of survival because the pain of our 720 00:47:15.699 --> 00:47:20.559 childhood of what came before and the inability to process 721 00:47:20.659 --> 00:47:28.369 feelings has led us to this cavern of shut down, 722 00:47:28.590 --> 00:47:35.500 this sort of tomb of unpenetrable feelings. That's why the 723 00:47:35.559 --> 00:47:38.340 tears come immediately when we think of these things, when 724 00:47:38.380 --> 00:47:43.769 we get in touch. But so many of us have 725 00:47:43.809 --> 00:47:48.070 that same story. We're afraid of the tears. We're afraid 726 00:47:48.110 --> 00:47:56.699 of the emotions. We're afraid of the spirit. But don't be. Dance. Sing. Dance. Skate. 727 00:47:57.599 --> 00:47:58.360 Get in touch with it. 728 00:48:00.789 --> 00:48:03.789 This tributary of the conversation began because I asked about, 729 00:48:03.809 --> 00:48:06.389 you know, what do you actually do to practice self-love? 730 00:48:06.869 --> 00:48:09.280 You reminded us of your morning routine, but it sounds 731 00:48:09.360 --> 00:48:14.179 like there's way more to it. There is, you seem, 732 00:48:14.260 --> 00:48:16.960 it seems like you have antenna up for the type 733 00:48:17.000 --> 00:48:21.260 of fun that the five-year-old Rue might have enjoyed. And 734 00:48:21.820 --> 00:48:26.429 you're looking for opportunities to sing, dance, skate, laugh. You 735 00:48:26.469 --> 00:48:31.210 also mentioned 12-step program and sobriety. That's a, that's, part

736 00:48:31.250 --> 00:48:33.349 of this? I would imagine, I'm guessing, but you haven't 737 00:48:33.389 --> 00:48:35.989 confirmed this, that therapy may also be part of this? 738 00:48:37.190 --> 00:48:40.909 Yeah, sure. Yeah. All of those things. Listen, all roads 739 00:48:40.969 --> 00:48:43.250 lead to the same place. The things that you named, 740 00:48:43.769 --> 00:48:47.679 they're not very different from one another. When you become, 741 00:48:48.179 --> 00:48:52.960 as a seeker, all roads lead to the exact same place, 742 00:48:53.519 --> 00:48:57.659 whether you follow Krishna or Jesus or Buddha, all roads 743 00:48:57.719 --> 00:49:01.059 lead to the same place, which is that child that 744 00:49:01.119 --> 00:49:05.469 lives inside of you. And the 12-step programs, therapy, it 745 00:49:05.489 --> 00:49:07.130 all goes to the same place. When I first got 746 00:49:07.150 --> 00:49:13.550 into therapy, all roads led to me at five or 747 00:49:13.590 --> 00:49:17.630 six years old, seven years old, waiting for my father 748 00:49:17.690 --> 00:49:20.210 to pick me up on the front porch for his 749 00:49:21.250 --> 00:49:26.539 weekend with the kids. And he would not show up. Many, 750 00:49:26.960 --> 00:49:31.059 many years of therapy. I've had the same therapist for 751 00:49:31.059 --> 00:49:34.159 25 years. All roads led to the same place, which 752 00:49:35.159 --> 00:49:40.889 allowed me to, as a detective, Have a real conversation 753 00:49:40.969 --> 00:49:44.139 with that five-year-old and say, hey, you know what? With 754 00:49:44.320 --> 00:49:48.699 x-ray eyes, with hitting that Google Earth button, it wasn't personal. 755 00:49:49.099 --> 00:49:52.639 It wasn't. I wanted to make it personal because I'd 756 00:49:52.679 --> 00:49:57.429 imbued my father with the same emotional consciousness that I have. 757 00:49:57.929 --> 00:50:00.949 If I were to leave a five-year-old waiting on the 758 00:50:01.010 --> 00:50:03.610 porch for me, I'd be very conscious of it. And 759 00:50:03.670 --> 00:50:07.449 I would have done it, I guess, on purpose. So 760 00:50:08.150 --> 00:50:10.429 I was able to tell the child who lives inside 761 00:50:10.469 --> 00:50:16.829 of me, honey, it wasn't personal. He wasn't there. The 762 00:50:16.909 --> 00:50:22.239 truth of who he was, he couldn't be present because 763 00:50:22.280 --> 00:50:25.739 of his own pain. And so I was able to 764 00:50:25.820 --> 00:50:30.610 take that information over many, many years and not take 765 00:50:30.650 --> 00:50:34.010 it personally and see him for who he was. And 766 00:50:36.190 --> 00:50:40.389 It changed everything in my life when I was able 767 00:50:40.449 --> 00:50:43.699 to accept that information. Now, here's the other part of that, 768 00:50:43.780 --> 00:50:52.320 is that some people have created an identity around that victimhood. 769 00:50:53.079 --> 00:50:58.119 And some people would not be willing to let go 770 00:50:58.300 --> 00:51:04.130 of that identity created around that victimhood. I was fortunate 771 00:51:04.190 --> 00:51:06.929 enough to be able to let that go, let the 772 00:51:06.969 --> 00:51:10.070 identity I had created as a victim of my father's hurt, 773 00:51:10.690 --> 00:51:13.239 I was able to let that go. And that enabled 774 00:51:13.280 --> 00:51:18.599 me to move so much further. I alleviated all of 775 00:51:18.659 --> 00:51:22.280 the weight and the pain and the baggage of that. 776 00:51:22.940 --> 00:51:24.969 It took up so much space. I was able to 777 00:51:24.989 --> 00:51:29.769 alleviate that. Now, the question for all of you out 778 00:51:29.829 --> 00:51:33.539 there is, are you willing to let go of the 779 00:51:33.599 --> 00:51:38.969 identity you've created from childhood. Because that's the real work. 780 00:51:39.550 --> 00:51:42.269 That's where the real work comes in. Because once you 781 00:51:42.309 --> 00:51:46.170 hit that Google Earth button and you go, oh, I 782 00:51:46.309 --> 00:51:49.250 didn't see this part over here. Oh, I see the 783 00:51:49.289 --> 00:51:54.389 whole landscape. And that hurt, I felt, had nothing to 784 00:51:54.429 --> 00:52:00.059 do with me. So finding that joy, finding that happiness 785 00:52:00.380 --> 00:52:04.699 starts with alleviating alleviating some of the baggage, all of 786 00:52:04.760 --> 00:52:08.909 the baggage, actually. You have to clear a space in 787 00:52:08.929 --> 00:52:16.469 your consciousness for a new way of seeing yourself. You 788 00:52:16.489 --> 00:52:18.909 have to clear a space, clear all of that out. 789 00:52:19.110 --> 00:52:23.150 The question becomes, are you willing to clear out the 790 00:52:23.210 --> 00:52:28.389 baggage that you created an identity around? That's the hard part. 791 00:52:29.940 --> 00:52:32.099 So it's like, it's a delicate dance because you want 792 00:52:32.119 --> 00:52:34.679 to have a relationship with the five-year-old you, but you 793 00:52:34.699 --> 00:52:40.000 don't want to be so tied up in building an 794 00:52:40.079 --> 00:52:45.239 identity around all of the biographical details of said five-year-old. 795 00:52:46.510 --> 00:52:49.679 Yeah, no, well, the five-year-old, you have to have a frank, honest, 796 00:52:49.820 --> 00:52:53.869 trustful conversation with them and bring that five-year-old up to speed. 797 00:52:54.170 --> 00:52:57.070 You know, they say when you pick up drugs and 798 00:52:57.210 --> 00:53:01.360 using drugs, Your emotional life ends right there. So my 799 00:53:01.400 --> 00:53:06.280 emotional evolution ended at 10. So when I stopped using, 800 00:53:06.559 --> 00:53:10.590 I was able to bring that 10-year-old up to speed 801 00:53:10.650 --> 00:53:15.869 with what's happening now. So yes, it is about having 802 00:53:15.909 --> 00:53:18.949 a conversation and bringing that child up to speed and saying, honey, 803 00:53:19.829 --> 00:53:24.579 that wasn't your fault. That was not your fault. And

804 00:53:24.619 --> 00:53:28.159 I'm going to tell you why. And you can trust me, 805 00:53:28.619 --> 00:53:32.820 the adult me, to take care of you. Yes, I 806 00:53:32.860 --> 00:53:41.230 did put you in some terrible situations. I did some 807 00:53:41.510 --> 00:53:47.449 really horrible things, but I'm going to make up for 808 00:53:47.489 --> 00:53:50.789 it now. And that kid knows when you're lying. That 809 00:53:50.829 --> 00:53:54.179 kid knows when you're full of BS. That's where the 810 00:53:54.219 --> 00:53:58.710 work comes in. There are cars of strangers I've gotten into, 811 00:53:58.969 --> 00:54:02.849 and up at the club, someone would say, here, open 812 00:54:03.349 --> 00:54:10.699 your mouth. And I'd say, what was that? And can 813 00:54:10.739 --> 00:54:15.519 you imagine doing that to a 10-year-old? I wasn't 10 814 00:54:15.519 --> 00:54:21.059 at that point, but that child is still witnessing all 815 00:54:21.280 --> 00:54:29.320 of the indignities and nastiness that you have allowed within relationships, 816 00:54:30.300 --> 00:54:34.300 in how you see yourself, all of those things, they matter. 817 00:54:35.239 --> 00:54:39.880 It all matters. But today, in this moment, you have 818 00:54:39.920 --> 00:54:43.780 the opportunity to change it today. You are a magician. 819 00:54:43.989 --> 00:54:48.150 You are a co-creator. Today, you can change just like that. 820 00:54:50.429 --> 00:54:53.250 This self-talk that you're modeling here, the way you're talking 821 00:54:53.269 --> 00:54:57.010 to your five-year-old Are you aware that there's actually quite 822 00:54:57.030 --> 00:55:01.079 a significant body of research that shows that talking to 823 00:55:01.119 --> 00:55:03.639 yourself in specific ways can be very helpful? Or did 824 00:55:03.659 --> 00:55:05.099 you just come upon this on your own? 825 00:55:06.119 --> 00:55:09.400 It's not rocket science, Dan. I mean, you know, if 826 00:55:09.460 --> 00:55:12.960 you hit that Google Earth button, it's very easy to 827 00:55:13.059 --> 00:55:17.320 recognize where the crime happened. And especially, you know, even 828 00:55:17.360 --> 00:55:22.960 in meditation, the scene of the accident, the scene of 829 00:55:23.000 --> 00:55:27.989 the crime, you become very aware of where it happened 830 00:55:29.050 --> 00:55:33.309 and how it all started. So, yes, the research, sure. Now, 831 00:55:33.349 --> 00:55:35.250 it's just not rocket science. I mean, I meet a 832 00:55:35.269 --> 00:55:37.869 lot of people who have traveled the world. I see 833 00:55:38.010 --> 00:55:43.369 each adult as their seven-year-old school picture, you know, with 834 00:55:43.409 --> 00:55:48.429 the thick glasses and the screwed-up teeth, the googly eyes, 835 00:55:48.489 --> 00:55:52.150 and I go, oh, baby, oh, baby, oh, my gosh. 836 00:55:53.699 --> 00:55:56.900 And I have compassion for them and I can see 837 00:55:56.940 --> 00:55:59.980 them and I could see whatever they're projecting outward, whether 838 00:56:00.019 --> 00:56:03.500 it's nasty or angry or whatever, I could go, oh, 839 00:56:03.539 --> 00:56:05.860 I see you. And I see what happened to you. 840 00:56:06.480 --> 00:56:08.949 I can see what happened. I can feel what happened. 841 00:56:08.989 --> 00:56:11.780 And I can have compassion for them because of that. 842 00:56:13.030 --> 00:56:16.449 But the research, sure. You say there's research on it. Yeah. 843 00:56:16.650 --> 00:56:19.130 All roads lead. It's not rocket science, Daniel. 844 00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:26.980 It's not rocket science. But for me, it was a 845 00:56:27.880 --> 00:56:31.300 huge revelation that I didn't have to rely on what 846 00:56:31.360 --> 00:56:33.909 I thought was keeping me safe was, you know, like 847 00:56:33.949 --> 00:56:38.010 an inner drill sergeant, quite harsh, that actually I could 848 00:56:38.710 --> 00:56:43.449 be super deliberate the way you just demonstrated in talking 849 00:56:43.489 --> 00:56:48.099 to myself. It's been massively helpful. And so maybe I'm 850 00:56:48.139 --> 00:56:52.800 just a dum-dum, but it and obviously that's facetious self-talk, 851 00:56:52.880 --> 00:56:55.739 but it landed to me as a major revelation, rocket 852 00:56:55.760 --> 00:56:56.340 science or not. 853 00:56:56.579 --> 00:56:56.780 Yeah. 854 00:56:58.219 --> 00:57:00.849 Well, because if you take the world at face value 855 00:57:00.969 --> 00:57:04.389 and must buckle up, young man, and do the thing, 856 00:57:04.690 --> 00:57:09.010 if you believe that, then yes, it is a huge revelation. 857 00:57:09.469 --> 00:57:15.170 But I firmly kept one foot in planted in the 858 00:57:15.210 --> 00:57:18.150 belief that the emperor is not wearing any clothes, that 859 00:57:18.170 --> 00:57:21.769 the emperor's new clothes don't exist. And one, it's like 860 00:57:21.949 --> 00:57:26.420 a duality, one where I can smile and go, uh-huh, yeah, sure. 861 00:57:26.440 --> 00:57:30.039 The emperor's clothes are great. So I had both going 862 00:57:30.119 --> 00:57:33.440 on at the same time. And then with my tribe, 863 00:57:34.480 --> 00:57:38.059 they could support this idea that, yes, this is all 864 00:57:38.099 --> 00:57:40.559 an illusion. I remember the first time I dropped acid, 865 00:57:41.139 --> 00:57:46.079 it was confirmation that indeed, This is all an illusion. 866 00:57:46.480 --> 00:57:49.300 And it was great. So I held on to that. 867 00:57:49.969 --> 00:57:54.469 I held on to that belief and the consciousness. Yeah. 868 00:57:54.690 --> 00:57:55.570 So all of that. 869 00:57:56.670 --> 00:58:02.329 What you're talking about this, the illusion, it is, you know, 870 00:58:02.489 --> 00:58:05.150 seeing that it's an illusion, but also having a moral code. 871 00:58:05.610 --> 00:58:09.750 This is such an interesting, I mean, you use this term, 872 00:58:09.989 --> 00:58:14.510 ascended masters. spiritual titans the great thinkers of over the 873 00:58:14.610 -->

00:58:17.469 ages have pointed to this you know t.s elliott talking 874 00:58:17.550 --> 00:58:20.250 about learning to care and not to care at the 875 00:58:20.289 --> 00:58:23.789 same time that seeing that everything's an illusion but it 876 00:58:23.849 --> 00:58:28.530 also matters being sensitive to the hurt of your inner 877 00:58:28.570 --> 00:58:31.590 five-year-old and every everybody you meet out in the world 878 00:58:31.659 --> 00:58:33.280 every grown-up you meet out in the world being in 879 00:58:33.320 --> 00:58:36.340 touch with their inner seven-year-old at the same time seeing 880 00:58:36.360 --> 00:58:38.920 that it's all an illusion it's all a performance And 881 00:58:38.980 --> 00:58:40.960 as your high school teacher said, don't take life so 882 00:58:40.980 --> 00:58:43.920 fucking seriously, which is a thing you write about in 883 00:58:43.960 --> 00:58:46.460 the book, this walking of the line, that in and 884 00:58:46.500 --> 00:58:48.179 of itself is an interesting dance. 885 00:58:48.579 --> 00:58:51.559 Well, it is and it isn't. This world is filled 886 00:58:51.619 --> 00:58:57.719 with polar opposites that coexist, night, day, black, white, all 887 00:58:57.739 --> 00:59:04.210 of those things. They can absolutely coexist and be truthful simultaneously. 888 00:59:04.869 --> 00:59:07.590 And that's where the balance, that's where the meditation and 889 00:59:07.650 --> 00:59:11.389 finding that equilibrium early in the morning, that spiritual practice, 890 00:59:11.969 --> 00:59:17.059 allows you to recognize both and to know that both 891 00:59:17.179 --> 00:59:20.440 are true. Half full, half empty. Both are true. It's 892 00:59:20.480 --> 00:59:25.019 a fine dance. That's why being conscious in this moment 893 00:59:26.550 --> 00:59:29.690 is the most important thing you can do because that 894 00:59:29.909 --> 00:59:35.030 allows you to walk that fine line and to recognize 895 00:59:35.449 --> 00:59:38.289 both polar opposites at the same time. 896 00:59:42.610 --> 00:59:45.889 Coming up, RuPaul talks about his definition of wealth and 897 00:59:45.909 --> 00:59:48.559 he ropes me into a game of dirty charades, which 898 00:59:48.659 --> 00:59:51.760 is a little spicy. So just a heads up if 899 00:59:51.820 --> 00:59:54.219 you've got little kids around or if you happen to 900 00:59:54.280 --> 01:00:05.059 have sensitive ears. I'm curious, did you ever make peace 901 01:00:05.199 --> 01:00:07.070 face-to-face with your parents? 902 01:00:07.429 --> 01:00:11.590 No, because I carried the story with me. My father, 903 01:00:13.030 --> 01:00:17.690 I got sober when I was 39 and gotten lots 904 01:00:17.750 --> 01:00:20.650 of therapy, lots of that. And I stepped away from 905 01:00:20.730 --> 01:00:25.559 show business for about four years. And in that time, 906 01:00:25.579 --> 01:00:31.690 I was able to recalibrate my outlook on life. I 907 01:00:31.730 --> 01:00:37.530 had spent so much of my first 39 years trying 908 01:00:37.550 --> 01:00:40.050 to get his attention. And in fact, my motivation in 909 01:00:40.110 --> 01:00:43.670 show business had so much to do with getting his attention. 910 01:00:44.010 --> 01:00:45.949 And in those four years that I stepped away from 911 01:00:46.010 --> 01:00:49.139 show business and focused on my sobriety and therapy and 912 01:00:49.159 --> 01:00:53.500 all that stuff, it shifted. I shifted my focus from 913 01:00:54.019 --> 01:00:59.739 getting his attention to what motivates me and what motivates 914 01:00:59.820 --> 01:01:05.179 me our colors and music and laughter and joy and 915 01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:10.679 dancing and shapes and texture and that it shifted everything 916 01:01:10.760 --> 01:01:15.179 so i didn't have to i didn't have to go 917 01:01:15.639 --> 01:01:17.800 and face him and talk to him about it you 918 01:01:17.820 --> 01:01:21.909 know there's a great book by dr susan forward called 919 01:01:21.989 --> 01:01:26.150 toxic parents i read many years ago where it She 920 01:01:26.230 --> 01:01:29.909 runs through a process of reconciling a relationship with a parent, 921 01:01:29.949 --> 01:01:34.320 whether they're alive or not. And this process, it's all 922 01:01:34.539 --> 01:01:38.659 with you, writing letters and really, and having a conversation 923 01:01:38.719 --> 01:01:41.300 with the child that lives inside of you. So you 924 01:01:41.340 --> 01:01:43.980 can do this without having to confront your parents. In fact, 925 01:01:44.420 --> 01:01:48.150 most parents would just get defensive and they wouldn't be 926 01:01:48.210 --> 01:01:51.550 able to understand what you're really talking about. So, and 927 01:01:51.590 --> 01:01:55.650 then with my mother, again, I really liked her a lot. 928 01:01:56.880 --> 01:02:04.449 She was damaged and mean. But I really liked her 929 01:02:04.530 --> 01:02:07.570 a lot and I loved her. Yeah. No, there wasn't 930 01:02:07.659 --> 01:02:14.469 as much reconciliation with her. I understood her. I understood 931 01:02:14.530 --> 01:02:16.829 the pain. She was really damaged. 932 01:02:18.070 --> 01:02:20.389 Are they both... I know your mom has passed. 933 01:02:20.530 --> 01:02:23.289 Oh, no. They went on to Paris many years ago. 934 01:02:23.349 --> 01:02:31.239 My mother left for Paris... I think 30, 34 years ago. 935 01:02:31.480 --> 01:02:33.260 I don't remember something like that. And then my father, 936 01:02:33.579 --> 01:02:38.469 it's interesting because once I changed my relationship to, and 937 01:02:38.550 --> 01:02:42.909 once I got through all of that, there was no 938 01:02:43.489 --> 01:02:46.809 emotional attachment. I don't even remember when he died. I 939 01:02:46.829 --> 01:02:51.949 never cried. Let me just backtrack because recently I've been 940 01:02:52.030 --> 01:02:57.320 really focusing on hero worship. You know, in a Judeo-Christian background, 941 01:02:58.000 --> 01:03:05.320 we are focused on saviors and the

patriarchy and mother, father. 942 01:03:06.039 --> 01:03:08.730 And so over the years, I've had these idols who 943 01:03:08.789 --> 01:03:15.429 I've placed here, and I've had to re-examine my relationship 944 01:03:15.510 --> 01:03:19.809 to my idols, who I've all met, had dinner with, 945 01:03:19.869 --> 01:03:23.030 all that kind of stuff. and the process of taking 946 01:03:23.090 --> 01:03:30.039 these people off of this pedestal and being okay with 947 01:03:32.239 --> 01:03:38.500 myself being self-propelling, like how a rocket needs a fuselage 948 01:03:38.539 --> 01:03:40.619 to take it to a certain place, and then the 949 01:03:40.659 --> 01:03:43.820 fuselage breaks off and the rocket is on its own. 950 01:03:44.590 --> 01:03:50.789 This is an interesting concept. And anyway, with my father, 951 01:03:51.900 --> 01:03:54.579 once I was able to take him off of that thing, 952 01:03:55.340 --> 01:03:58.360 I was self-propelling and I had to figure out what 953 01:03:58.800 --> 01:04:01.739 propels me forward. And it's those things I listed, joy 954 01:04:01.780 --> 01:04:04.679 and love and colors and dancing and roller, just all 955 01:04:04.699 --> 01:04:08.909 of those things. Laughter, laughter is my favorite thing on 956 01:04:08.949 --> 01:04:11.949 this planet so far. In my discovery as the boy 957 01:04:11.989 --> 01:04:15.010 who fell to earth, I have found that the most 958 01:04:15.610 --> 01:04:23.280 valuable thing is number one, laughter, Number two, kindness. Number three, 959 01:04:23.599 --> 01:04:24.800 a fat ass. 960 01:04:30.449 --> 01:04:33.309 I didn't see that coming. Why is a fat ass 961 01:04:33.349 --> 01:04:33.929 so important? 962 01:04:33.949 --> 01:04:36.030 I think you know, Dan. 963 01:04:37.449 --> 01:04:49.389 All right. 964 01:04:49.630 --> 01:04:58.000 Fair enough. Fair enough. Well, let me ask you, not 965 01:04:58.019 --> 01:05:00.260 to get us back onto more serious ground, but to 966 01:05:00.300 --> 01:05:03.119 get us back on slightly more serious ground. I am 967 01:05:03.159 --> 01:05:05.679 very interested in the subject of motivation, and you brought 968 01:05:05.719 --> 01:05:10.010 it up. And you talked about how once you were 969 01:05:10.050 --> 01:05:14.130 able to separate yourself from the fuselage of being motivated 970 01:05:14.210 --> 01:05:18.389 by living up to your idols or impressing your dad, 971 01:05:18.630 --> 01:05:21.809 you had to figure out what, like, intrinsically motivated you 972 01:05:21.949 --> 01:05:25.349 and love and colors and joy and fun and laughter 973 01:05:25.730 --> 01:05:29.269 and fat asses all fit into there. What about money? 974 01:05:29.610 --> 01:05:31.369 You mentioned before, I've got a mortgage to pay. I 975 01:05:31.409 --> 01:05:35.590 think that was probably semi-facetious, but, but how do you, 976 01:05:35.889 --> 01:05:38.829 does money ever corrupt your motivation? How do you balance that? 977 01:05:39.289 --> 01:05:41.730 You know, I've got to tell you, honestly, I, I 978 01:05:42.210 --> 01:05:44.710 grew up, we were on welfare. I got to tell you, 979 01:05:44.750 --> 01:05:49.199 the truth is I have always been rich. And I 980 01:05:49.239 --> 01:05:52.460 know it sounds so stupid. We didn't have, I didn't 981 01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:54.739 grow up with money. My parents, you know, my mother, 982 01:05:54.760 --> 01:05:58.489 we were on commodity cheese. A certain generation of people 983 01:05:58.590 --> 01:06:01.630 know what that is, was government supplement. Truth of the 984 01:06:01.690 --> 01:06:03.949 matter is I've always been rich and I've always been 985 01:06:03.989 --> 01:06:07.570 rich because I always knew how to create magic. I 986 01:06:07.710 --> 01:06:12.329 always had books. Books were so important to me. Books, television, 987 01:06:12.969 --> 01:06:16.590 I could recognize magic. Even when I was 28 years old, 988 01:06:18.219 --> 01:06:21.900 And my Saturn returned and I was sleeping on my 989 01:06:22.320 --> 01:06:26.360 baby sister's couch here in LA. Not a dime to 990 01:06:26.400 --> 01:06:28.699 my name. I was still rich because I had the 991 01:06:28.739 --> 01:06:34.659 ability and still do to see the beauty and to 992 01:06:34.739 --> 01:06:39.719 create the magic. I know for people who don't have 993 01:06:39.960 --> 01:06:44.820 money right now, they're like saying, F you, you stupid MF. 994 01:06:45.500 --> 01:06:48.579 But this is the truth. And so in terms of 995 01:06:48.840 --> 01:06:52.590 being motivated by money, I've always been taken care of. 996 01:06:52.699 --> 01:06:56.869 I've always felt like I had angels around me. Even 997 01:06:57.010 --> 01:06:59.750 those times when I got into cars with strangers or 998 01:07:00.969 --> 01:07:03.510 put some pill in my mouth that I had no 999 01:07:03.550 --> 01:07:08.130 idea what it was, somehow, for lack of a better term, 1000 01:07:08.170 --> 01:07:09.750 I say angels, but I don't know what it is, 1001 01:07:10.329 --> 01:07:16.130 I have been looked after. And even if everything went away, 1002 01:07:16.949 --> 01:07:22.369 I have no doubt that I would be somehow taken 1003 01:07:22.429 --> 01:07:26.510 care of because of the magic and the magic of imagination, 1004 01:07:26.590 --> 01:07:32.639 of books, of recognizing the gifts that this life has. 1005 01:07:33.639 --> 01:07:36.320 That really is, because I know people who have, I 1006 01:07:36.360 --> 01:07:41.239 know billionaires who have nothing. They have nothing because they 1007 01:07:41.260 --> 01:07:45.909 have no joy. They have no imagination. I know people 1008 01:07:45.989 --> 01:07:49.929 who have literally billions of dollars who don't know how 1009 01:07:49.969 --> 01:07:56.019 to create a magical situation. And I can create a 1010 01:07:56.039 --> 01:08:00.619 magical situation with no money. I told you laughter is 1011 01:08:00.659 --> 01:08:02.800 my favorite thing. I don't know if I've tried to 1012 01:08:02.840

--> 01:08:05.639 get you to play dirty charades. I probably did when 1013 01:08:05.659 --> 01:08:10.929 we were together. Dirty charades, it's basically regular charades, but 1014 01:08:10.969 --> 01:08:14.050 you just change one word and you cannot change syllables. 1015 01:08:15.210 --> 01:08:17.689 I'm not going to say anything nasty here, but dirty 1016 01:08:17.729 --> 01:08:20.949 charades is, you know, you use words like poop or 1017 01:08:20.979 --> 01:08:23.260 I'm trying to think, trying to think, oh, I have 1018 01:08:23.300 --> 01:08:26.500 my list here. Anyway, long story long, like my sister 1019 01:08:26.859 --> 01:08:30.640 and the cookies in the backyard, I can create magic 1020 01:08:30.739 --> 01:08:35.479 and it doesn't take money at all. So am I 1021 01:08:35.520 --> 01:08:36.340 motivated by money? 1022 01:08:36.359 --> 01:08:37.180 I do. 1023 01:08:37.260 --> 01:08:39.819 I want to get paid. That's for sure. And I 1024 01:08:39.899 --> 01:08:42.399 do love to work. I love to work, but I 1025 01:08:42.460 --> 01:08:44.539 like to work because I get to work with my friends. 1026 01:08:45.239 --> 01:08:52.409 Would I take a cut and pay? Hell no. Hell no, 1027 01:08:52.649 --> 01:08:55.390 but I do love it. I love it. Let me see. 1028 01:08:55.449 --> 01:08:57.529 I'm going to try to, oh, I have a list 1029 01:08:57.569 --> 01:08:57.989 of words. 1030 01:08:58.430 --> 01:08:59.949 You could be as dirty. 1031 01:08:59.609 --> 01:09:01.289 As you can be. not going to because I know 1032 01:09:01.310 --> 01:09:03.510 that there are Christian children who listen to this show. 1033 01:09:04.090 --> 01:09:08.890 You know, words like sperm or poop or turd. That's 1034 01:09:08.930 --> 01:09:13.739 not bad. Butt plug. Okay. But see, so here, let 1035 01:09:13.760 --> 01:09:16.640 me give you an example of some of my favorite 1036 01:09:16.920 --> 01:09:18.500 dirty charades. And I'm not going to get too dirty 1037 01:09:18.539 --> 01:09:21.439 for the Christians who are watching this, you know, movie. 1038 01:09:22.130 --> 01:09:26.510 Three men and a little cooter. You know, baby, little baby, 1039 01:09:26.550 --> 01:09:29.930 you know, right, right? Cooter sings the blues. Rosemary's cooter. 1040 01:09:31.109 --> 01:09:34.569 And then, let's see, let me do 12 Years a Slut. 1041 01:09:35.390 --> 01:09:42.090 It's a movie. A song. Some of these are very dirty, 1042 01:09:42.130 --> 01:09:44.770 and I'm not going to go there. Let me just 1043 01:09:44.789 --> 01:09:48.810 do one. Oh, TV show. The Mary Tyler Horror Show. 1044 01:09:53.039 --> 01:09:55.220 Here's one. This is my last one. This is my 1045 01:09:55.260 --> 01:09:56.119 last one. Okay. 1046 01:09:58.520 --> 01:10:00.270 Don't make it your last one, but I want more 1047 01:10:00.319 --> 01:10:00.510 of her. 1048 01:10:00.560 --> 01:10:16.359 All right. Movie, Sidney Poitier, To Sir With Jizz. Oh, 1049 01:10:16.380 --> 01:10:19.039 here's one. One of my favorite movies, Starship Poopers. 1050 01:10:21.279 --> 01:10:23.470 I like that. I like that. I have a nine-year-old 1051 01:10:23.510 --> 01:10:24.189 son who would like that. 1052 01:10:24.409 --> 01:10:27.800 Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm going to do one dirty one, okay? 1053 01:10:28.439 --> 01:10:33.279 So if you're a Christian child, please close your ears. Musical, 1054 01:10:34.319 --> 01:10:51.840 Broadway musical, Annie Get Your Cum. Oh my gosh. 1055 01:10:54.260 --> 01:10:56.659 Do you just keep a notes? I do. You have 1056 01:10:56.800 --> 01:10:57.579 like a notes file? 1057 01:10:57.979 --> 01:11:00.520 I do. I have a notes file where I'm watching 1058 01:11:00.779 --> 01:11:04.979 Jeopardy or hear a title and I'll see a book 1059 01:11:05.020 --> 01:11:07.829 title and I'll go, oh, okay. I'm going to allow 1060 01:11:07.869 --> 01:11:09.869 you to come up with one. I saw a book, 1061 01:11:10.090 --> 01:11:14.989 The Red Badge of Courage. Can you guess what, how 1062 01:11:15.010 --> 01:11:19.689 I would turn the book, The Red Badge of Courage 1063 01:11:19.989 --> 01:11:21.640 into Jeopardy? Dirty charades. 1064 01:11:24.060 --> 01:11:28.270 Well, see, I am eminently cancelable, unlike you, I think. 1065 01:11:28.930 --> 01:11:30.550 So I'm not even going to hazard a guess. 1066 01:11:30.569 --> 01:11:33.829 Oh, really? Okay. I get it. I get it. And 1067 01:11:33.890 --> 01:11:35.630 you're right. And, you know, you have to take care 1068 01:11:35.649 --> 01:11:38.710 of yourself. Well, the red badge of courage would turn 1069 01:11:38.770 --> 01:11:41.880 into the red vag of courage. 1070 01:11:42.300 --> 01:11:45.039 Okay. 1071 01:11:56.489 --> 01:11:59.140 And see, this conjures up that child who lives inside 1072 01:11:59.159 --> 01:12:02.439 of you, that goofy child who, and it's irreverent. And 1073 01:12:02.640 --> 01:12:04.439 it is my favorite thing to do. Everybody who knows 1074 01:12:04.460 --> 01:12:06.220 me on set, we have to be very careful on 1075 01:12:06.239 --> 01:12:09.140 set because people want to sue you for saying vag. But, 1076 01:12:09.359 --> 01:12:13.229 you know, I love to conjure up that kid who 1077 01:12:13.270 --> 01:12:17.529 lives inside of me, who is firmly planted in the irreverent, 1078 01:12:17.770 --> 01:12:24.390 the goofy, the funny, And it's so freeing because it's 1079 01:12:24.470 --> 01:12:29.960 like a mantra to remind yourself, don't take life too 1080 01:12:30.779 --> 01:12:34.619 effing seriously. There are things to take seriously like kindness 1081 01:12:35.260 --> 01:12:39.739 and sweetness and laughter and fat asses, but everything else 1082 01:12:40.039 --> 01:12:43.760 is up for discussion. 1083 01:12:45.819 --> 01:12:51.939 I take your point. Very well. And this is probably 1084 01:12:51.979 --> 01:12:54.159 the last podcast that anybody will ever let me do. 1085 01:12:54.239 --> 01:12:59.380 So I'm going. 1086 01:13:00.189 --> 01:13:01.529 To say that. 1087 01:13:03.649 --> 01:13:06.590 Oh, God.

Rue, it's so much fun to talk to you. 1088 01:13:06.710 --> 01:13:08.909 Is there a place you were hoping we would go 1089 01:13:09.050 --> 01:13:11.770 in this conversation that we haven't yet gone? Anything you 1090 01:13:11.789 --> 01:13:13.770 were hoping to say that we haven't touched on? 1091 01:13:13.970 --> 01:13:15.850 No, you know, I trust the process. You know, I 1092 01:13:15.890 --> 01:13:18.979 was on this book tour. I did 14 cities. And 1093 01:13:19.100 --> 01:13:23.649 I would go out every night and do an hour 1094 01:13:23.779 --> 01:13:26.630 of talking just like this. And I really, I had 1095 01:13:26.670 --> 01:13:28.430 an outline of where I wanted to go. I wanted 1096 01:13:28.449 --> 01:13:30.949 to talk about that child who lives inside of me, 1097 01:13:31.029 --> 01:13:34.829 which is a revolutionary concept. And then I would just 1098 01:13:34.890 --> 01:13:37.560 let it flow. And I would allow the process to 1099 01:13:37.609 --> 01:13:40.119 just guide me. And I believe in that. I believe 1100 01:13:40.159 --> 01:13:43.500 that what we have said today in this podcast is 1101 01:13:43.560 --> 01:13:48.439 very important. And it is what the gods, the angels, 1102 01:13:49.699 --> 01:13:53.800 the listeners wanted us to talk about. And it's beautiful. 1103 01:13:53.840 --> 01:13:57.520 In fact, when I go on stage, I would tell myself, okay, Ru, 1104 01:13:58.739 --> 01:14:04.199 mama's living room. You're going out in front of mama 1105 01:14:04.699 --> 01:14:08.380 in the living room, and everything you do, she will love. 1106 01:14:09.260 --> 01:14:13.850 She will love everything. She would laugh, laugh, laugh. And 1107 01:14:14.310 --> 01:14:16.210 that's how I go on stage every time I go 1108 01:14:16.250 --> 01:14:20.100 on stage is I talk to that kid who may 1109 01:14:20.149 --> 01:14:23.619 be nervous or anxious or whatever, and I say, you're fine, honey. 1110 01:14:24.899 --> 01:14:28.699 Mama loves you no matter what. So you go out 1111 01:14:28.739 --> 01:14:33.399 there and you do your thing. And that's brilliant. That 1112 01:14:33.489 --> 01:14:36.670 is brilliant. Because once you clear a space, you clear 1113 01:14:36.750 --> 01:14:40.569 out the anxious or the insecurity, you clear all this 1114 01:14:40.609 --> 01:14:44.840 stuff out, you have so much more bandwidth, so much 1115 01:14:44.909 --> 01:14:54.909 more capability to Receive the source. Receive the blessing. That 1116 01:14:55.050 --> 01:15:00.710 your life will be so much more fulfilled when you 1117 01:15:00.750 --> 01:15:04.329 take out all that crap. It's just one quick story. 1118 01:15:04.609 --> 01:15:07.029 In my 20s, I used to be late to places. 1119 01:15:07.640 --> 01:15:11.319 And I had plenty of time. I just procrastinated and 1120 01:15:11.340 --> 01:15:13.520 it was late. And when I really put the x-ray 1121 01:15:13.659 --> 01:15:17.550 eyes on that situation, and this happened in sobriety, When 1122 01:15:17.590 --> 01:15:21.250 I was able to dissect and hit that Google Earth button, 1123 01:15:21.289 --> 01:15:27.689 I realized I was addicted to rushing to the place, going, oh, shoot, oh, driving, oh, 1124 01:15:27.760 --> 01:15:30.380 I better make this light, I'm going to make this light, oh, shoot, 1125 01:15:30.760 --> 01:15:34.960 I almost have time. I realized I was addicted to 1126 01:15:35.159 --> 01:15:40.619 that part of being late. And once I was willing 1127 01:15:40.659 --> 01:15:44.220 to let go of my addiction to the rush of 1128 01:15:44.300 --> 01:15:50.130 trying to get somewhere, I would arrive 15 minutes early. 1129 01:15:51.380 --> 01:15:55.229 I would arrive 15 minutes early. So on the surface, 1130 01:15:56.100 --> 01:15:59.760 it was an issue with procrastination. But when you really 1131 01:15:59.920 --> 01:16:02.560 got in x-ray eyes and you really look at the situation, 1132 01:16:03.720 --> 01:16:06.100 it was something else. Just like with my computer, I 1133 01:16:06.119 --> 01:16:09.260 would put something in the garbage, and then the issue 1134 01:16:09.300 --> 01:16:11.399 was still there. And it was like, what? It's deeper. 1135 01:16:11.539 --> 01:16:13.819 It's deeper. So when you look at a situation with 1136 01:16:14.060 --> 01:16:20.420 x-ray eyes, you're able to really figure out what's happening. 1137 01:16:20.579 --> 01:16:22.020 And this is true, and this is true when I 1138 01:16:22.060 --> 01:16:27.100 said earlier about people building an identity around their victimhood. 1139 01:16:27.760 --> 01:16:31.779 Are you willing to let go of the rush of 1140 01:16:31.880 --> 01:16:37.949 the payoff you get from being a victim or from 1141 01:16:37.970 --> 01:16:43.529 an identity you've created around your victimhood? You see the 1142 01:16:43.569 --> 01:16:47.800 correlation between On the surface, I was late, I was procrastinating. 1143 01:16:48.739 --> 01:16:54.449 It was the rush. You see the correlation between building 1144 01:16:54.489 --> 01:17:01.930 an identity and getting a payoff from an identity. My 1145 01:17:02.010 --> 01:17:05.689 point is, underneath the surface, there is a deeper story. 1146 01:17:06.369 --> 01:17:09.529 That's where the House of Hidden Meanings comes in. Looking 1147 01:17:09.710 --> 01:17:15.060 for the truth. In the movie The Matrix, the first one, 1148 01:17:15.609 --> 01:17:21.850 When they showed that scene of people, humans, lying in pods, 1149 01:17:24.529 --> 01:17:34.970 that was so striking because we are living in this illusion. 1150 01:17:35.569 --> 01:17:39.579 This idea of the real you, the real you, where 1151 01:17:39.680 --> 01:17:46.390 are you? Are you in a pod? it's dreaming all 1152 01:17:46.409 --> 01:17:50.930 of this, you know, anyway. Yeah. I've, I've, I've drifted. 1153 01:17:50.949 --> 01:17:52.550 I've drifted off into my own head. 1154 01:17:52.569 --> 01:17:56.949 I like when you drift. And I think what I'm 1155 01:17:56.989 --> 01:18:00.380 hearing you

say is that I think this is the 1156 01:18:00.399 --> 01:18:03.380 common denominator you're pointing to. And you'll correct me if 1157 01:18:03.439 --> 01:18:05.600 I'm wrong. There's so much going on in the world 1158 01:18:05.779 --> 01:18:09.279 and in our own mind. But if we look for 1159 01:18:09.300 --> 01:18:13.199 the hidden meaning, it may be hard, but it will 1160 01:18:13.239 --> 01:18:13.859 be liberating. 1161 01:18:15.270 --> 01:18:18.890 And there are strings attached to that hidden meaning. The payoff, 1162 01:18:18.970 --> 01:18:22.310 Judge Judy says, follow the money. For me, in the 1163 01:18:22.689 --> 01:18:28.109 late situation, the money was the rush I got from rushing. 1164 01:18:28.710 --> 01:18:34.050 And for my victimhood, the rush I got, I was 1165 01:18:34.170 --> 01:18:39.819 able to justify a lot of bad behavior because in 1166 01:18:40.079 --> 01:18:42.739 my mind, I felt the world had done me wrong. 1167 01:18:42.960 --> 01:18:46.699 I'm an outsider. So I can do whatever I want 1168 01:18:48.020 --> 01:18:50.850 because the world has done me wrong. But when I 1169 01:18:50.899 --> 01:18:52.640 was willing to let go of, you know what, the 1170 01:18:52.680 --> 01:18:56.020 world has not done me wrong, the payoff was the 1171 01:18:56.060 --> 01:18:57.859 justification of bad behavior. 1172 01:18:57.880 --> 01:19:02.520 I have this little tagline I use sometimes, the view 1173 01:19:02.659 --> 01:19:04.359 is so much better when you pull your head out 1174 01:19:04.380 --> 01:19:06.140 of your ass. And that's in the mind when I 1175 01:19:06.180 --> 01:19:06.760 hear you talk about all this. 1176 01:19:06.779 --> 01:19:09.609 Yeah. I mean, if you've ever been ill in the 1177 01:19:09.689 --> 01:19:12.529 hospital or something you or if your back is out 1178 01:19:12.649 --> 01:19:17.659 you really understand how blessed you are you know it's 1179 01:19:17.760 --> 01:19:23.359 changing in perception you know that's a miracle a miracle 1180 01:19:23.439 --> 01:19:26.640 is a change in perception you know get your head 1181 01:19:26.699 --> 01:19:28.619 out of your ass and you can actually see. 1182 01:19:28.460 --> 01:19:31.869 I was just gonna say thank you for coming on 1183 01:19:31.890 --> 01:19:33.869 it's always such a pleasure to talk to you Really, 1184 01:19:34.109 --> 01:19:36.550 I say that. That's not perfunctory. I genuinely mean it. 1185 01:19:36.590 --> 01:19:36.869 Thank you. 1186 01:19:37.130 --> 01:19:39.369 Yeah, very kind. Thank you for having me. 1187 01:19:45.590 --> 01:19:48.699 Thanks again to RuPaul. Don't forget his new memoir, The 1188 01:19:48.739 --> 01:19:52.020 House of Hidden Meanings. It's available wherever books are sold. 1189 01:19:52.439 --> 01:19:54.579 And he's also running a book club right now through 1190 01:19:54.619 --> 01:19:59.760 his new online bookstore, Allstora. The May selection was Eckhart 1191 01:19:59.819 --> 01:20:03.510 Tolle's A New Earth. And RuPaul and I recorded a 1192 01:20:03.810 --> 01:20:07.649 conversation for his book club members all about A New Earth, 1193 01:20:08.090 --> 01:20:11.090 which was a huge book for RuPaul and a huge 1194 01:20:11.130 --> 01:20:13.579 book for me, although I have complex feelings about it. 1195 01:20:13.899 --> 01:20:15.960 If you want to learn more about that book club, 1196 01:20:16.079 --> 01:20:24.060 go to allstora.com. That's A-L-L-S-T-O-R-A dot com. A-L-L-S-T-O-R-A dot com. 1197 01:20:24.100 --> 01:20:27.140 And you can find RuPaul's book club for more information. 1198 01:20:27.949 --> 01:20:31.550 Don't forget my weekly newsletter, which you can find on danharris.com, 1199 01:20:31.569 --> 01:20:34.439 where I sum up my favorite learnings from the week's 1200 01:20:34.529 --> 01:20:38.220 episodes and also drop a bunch of recommendations for books, movies, 1201 01:20:38.279 --> 01:20:41.060 viral videos, et cetera, that I'm into right now. Before 1202 01:20:41.100 --> 01:20:42.340 I go, I just want to make sure I thank 1203 01:20:42.619 --> 01:20:45.159 everybody who works so incredibly hard on this show. Our 1204 01:20:45.180 --> 01:20:49.310 producers are Tara Anderson, Caroline Keenan, and Eleanor Vasili. We 1205 01:20:49.329 --> 01:20:53.489 get additional pre-production support from Wanbo Wu. Our recording and 1206 01:20:53.529 --> 01:20:56.130 engineering is handled by the great folks over at Pod People. 1207 01:20:56.699 --> 01:20:59.989 Lauren Smith is our production manager. Marissa Schneiderman is our 1208 01:21:00.069 --> 01:21:04.189 senior producer. DJ Kashmir is our managing producer. And Nick 1209 01:21:04.250 --> 01:21:07.359 Thorburn of the band Islands wrote our theme.