Pełna transkrypcja odcinka Unpacking binaries "inside the manosphere"

masculinity mean? 00:05:44.225 --> 00:05:46.877 are their drawbacks to this kind of masculinity. 00:05:46.877 --> 00:05:51.860 And there are really some heartbreaking moments as well in the documentary. 00:05:51.860 --> 00:06:06.548 I think for me, when it comes to men, some of the heartbreaking moments were some of the young men who really idolize those influencers, and two of them are being interviewed, and one of them has uh lost a brother. 00:06:07.541 --> 00:06:13.305 to his brother completed suicide and alive himself by completing suicide. 00:06:13.305 --> 00:06:26.271 And this young man talk about not believing in depression, you know, and just like having to work hard for what you want and like not, you know, not give in to kind of your emotions in this way. 00:06:26.271 --> 00:06:44.220 And there is no examination of potentially the grief that might be there or this contrast between not believing in depression ah and yet having this very real experience of having lost his brother to suicide. 00:06:44.680 --> 00:06:50.444 And I think that that is a real theme that carries all the way through the documentary. 00:06:50.444 --> 00:06:54.137 You know, I was really hoping that maybe there would be multiple. 00:06:54.137 --> 00:06:55.855 It's just a one and done. 00:06:55.855 --> 00:07:06.055 I think this topic could have really benefited maybe from being a little bit more of a series where there could be kind of deeper conversation. 00:07:06.055 --> 00:07:17.142 And of course, was some suspicion from this man towards Theroux because they were scared that they would be misrepresented or that they would be ridiculed. 00:07:17.142 --> 00:07:26.689 And of course, as humans do, um one of the things that they, some of them do instead is kind of ridiculing Theroux, again, reinforcing this. 00:07:26.689 --> 00:07:31.995 um you know, it's either this type of man or this type of man. 00:07:32.076 --> 00:07:39.860 And we are going to be in competition with each other rather than being able to examine masculinity together. 00:07:42.112 --> 00:07:55.867 And now I'm not saying that those men would have necessarily have been willing, but it really feels like in a way they're afraid that Theroux is looking for a gotcha moment. 00:07:55.947 --> 00:08:05.052 And at the same time, they are also extracting from this uh documentary process by turning everything into content, you know? 00:08:05.052 --> 00:08:10.673 And so there are a lot of dynamics there that could have been examined in more depth. 00:08:10.673 --> 00:08:19.935 There is really no cultural reflection, there's no gender scholars who are brought in, for example, to reflect on some of those dynamics. 00:08:19.935 --> 00:08:28.536 Another heartbreaking em moment, I think, for me in the documentary is one of the influencers kind of set up. 00:08:28.939 --> 00:08:34.476 what they consider a prank, but it really goes pretty poorly. 00:08:34.476 --> 00:08:39.224 And the other men or with them beat up a member of the public. 00:08:39.224 --> 00:08:41.746 It is not shown in the documentary. 00:08:41.746 --> 00:08:47.567 uh But the influencer is clearly uncomfortable that this has happened. 00:08:47.567 --> 00:08:53.850 But once again, there isn't really space to examine that, to have reflection. 00:08:53.850 --> 00:09:16.850 And in that way, it feels that there was kind of a sensationalizing of the manosphere rather than asking ourselves, what is it in our culture, in this social, cultural, historical, political moment that is uh making this kind of masculinity appealing for a lot of young men. 00:09:16.850 --> 00:09:27.066 And we know that it is making this kind of masculinity appealing because, for example, younger men are actually more conservative now than older men in their values. 00:09:27.066 --> 00:09:29.376 And I think there's a reason for this. 00:09:29.376 --> 00:09:47.020 And so I think there's really a huge missed opportunity for reflection when it comes to what is the social, political, cultural, historical environment that is making this kind of alpha male, let's call it, air quote, mentality appealing, right? 00:09:47.042 --> 00:09:55.129 And instead there is the sensationalizing, showing some of the dissonance, but without ever commenting on it. 00:09:55.351 --> 00:09:58.144 which is very much through style and that's okay. 00:09:58.144 --> 00:10:05.931 And like I said, his style of documentary is not my preferred style of documentary, but I really thought there was a missed opportunity. 00:10:05.931 --> 00:10:15.717 And there was another missed opportunity in the kind of contrasting of like, obviously the very obvious binary was men versus women, right? 00:10:15.717 --> 00:10:39.196 uh You know, and there are some very interesting ideas that some of the men talk about, like this idea that women are born with inherent value and their value is basically, they don't call it this, this is what I would call it as a gender scholar, that uh women are born with inherent erotic capital. 00:10:39.196 --> 00:10:54.582 So how attractive they are, how much people wanna have sex with them, and that this erotic capital is something that they can exchange for opportunities, whereas men don't have this capital that they're born with. 00:10:54.582 --> 00:10:59.166 And that's, first of all, that's also heartbreaking. 00:10:59.245 --> 00:11:08.673 What have we done as a society to have some of these young men feel that they have no inherent worth? 00:11:08.673 --> 00:11:19.899 Because really what they're talking about is that they don't feel that they have any inherent worth and that women have this inherent worth that comes from erotic capital. 00:11:19.899 --> 00:11:37.812 And what's complicated is that in some ways, in dominant culture, they are not inherently wrong under kind of white Christian nationalism, for example, which probably several of those young men embrace. 00:11:37.812 --> 00:11:49.418 um And in kind of cis-heteromononormative

patriarchal world, it is true that women often exchange erotic capital for opportunities. 00:11:49.418 --> 00:12:08.506 And we even see it in the documentary Inside the Manosphere with some of the kind of the young women kind of leveraging the platform that some of this men have, even though they obviously don't have any respect for this man, which makes complete sense because those men obviously don't have respect for them either. 00:12:08.506 --> 00:12:12.327 And so there is a, It's very transactional relationship. 00:12:12.327 --> 00:12:22.350 And in a way, under cis-heteromononormative kind of patriarchal culture, the relationship between men and women is very transactional. 00:12:22.350 --> 00:12:39.297 And so even though those men are viewed in some way as extremist or exceptional, I would actually say that they are a reflection of the cis-heteromononormative kind of Christian supremacist patriarchal values. 00:12:39.297 --> 00:12:40.607 they're not an exception. 00:12:40.607 --> 00:12:47.945 They might be a little bit more extreme, but they are a product um of this culture, right? 00:12:47.945 --> 00:12:57.772 And so the transactional relationship that is depicted between men and women is very much a reflection of what... 00:12:58.187 --> 00:13:02.268 the culture of Cicero mononormative patriarchy tells us, right? 00:13:02.268 --> 00:13:03.698 In a lot of ways. 00:13:03.698 --> 00:13:09.279 And so that kind of binary, that contrast, again, is not really unpacked. 00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:27.745 There are some moment where, for example, with one of the men that's being interviewed, know, Theroux asks question when uh the partner is present, the partner is a woman, they're not, you know, married and it's, the man has made it very clear. 00:13:27.956 --> 00:13:35.823 that at some point he would like to have multiple female partners and that this is something that maybe she's not really on board with. 00:13:35.823 --> 00:13:51.179 And Theroux tries to ask some questions about this, but rather than doing it in a way that feels, you know, in a way that feels consensual, in a way that feels negotiated, like, hey, can we have a conversation all together about this? 00:13:51.298 --> 00:13:59.503 This might have been challenging as well because many of those men were really trying to gatekeep access to how much Theroux talked to some of the women. 00:13:59.503 --> 00:14:18.846 But again, it feels like uh the women inside the manosphere are used almost as an object to make a point, which in a way also reproduces kind of patriarchal ideas of femininity. 00:14:18.846 --> 00:14:34.273 And so I'm not sure that this contrast that the documentary starts to make at the beginning between this is the type of man inside the manosphere and this is the type of man that Theroux is, right, a more intellectual, curious man. 00:14:34.273 --> 00:14:40.225 But both of them in some ways seem to be using women as a prop. 00:14:40.619 --> 00:14:44.548 There really, you know, there are in-depth interviews with the women. 00:14:44.548 --> 00:15:03.294 And again, it might be that Theroux tried, but he only tried to have those conversations with women who had very close proximity to the many interviewed, rather than, for example, seeking out women who... 00:15:03.294 --> 00:15:17.676 would have had more freedom to talk with them, you know, and the only woman who really gets a little bit more airtime, I think it's one of the partners of one of the men being interviewed. 00:15:17.676 --> 00:15:27.232 uh And they have a whole family, have children, and initially he doesn't want Theroux to have access to his family, but then he changes his mind. 00:15:27.232 --> 00:15:30.153 And this is one of the women who's actually very supportive. 00:15:30.153 --> 00:15:33.113 And so she gets more airtime. 00:15:33.113 --> 00:15:46.712 But I think there could have been other very interesting conversations, you know, to be had with what is it that, for example, the women who are partnered with those men find attractive about those men? 00:15:46.712 --> 00:15:49.340 What is it about those relationships? 00:15:49.340 --> 00:15:50.840 that serve them? 00:15:50.840 --> 00:15:58.261 And what is it about this lack of equality in some way in relationship that is attractive to them? 00:15:58.261 --> 00:16:06.043 And how that is also a product in some way of kind of the very cis-genderist culture that we live in. 00:16:06.043 --> 00:16:10.683 And I want to take a moment to break down what I mean by cis-genderist culture. 00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:15.004 I believe I've already talked about cis-genderism. 00:16:15.116 --> 00:16:22.520 in uh one of the episodes of Warm Tech Wednesdays where I really unpack if there is a real gender ideology, right? 00:16:22.520 --> 00:16:36.386 And I talk about cisgenderism as the ideology where we believe that folks whose gender identity is aligned with their gender assigned at birth is kind of the natural, in air quote, of being for humans, right? 00:16:36.386 --> 00:16:45.850 So the idea that if you're born with vulva, you're supposed to identify as a woman and that there are certain expectations and characteristics that come with that. 00:16:45.850 --> 00:16:50.494 if you're born with a penis, you're expected to identify and be a man. 00:16:50.494 --> 00:16:54.355 And that there are certain expectations and characteristics that come with that. 00:16:54.355 --> 00:17:02.599 Now there can be a little bit of room in each of those boxes, but they're definitely separate and distinct boxes, right? 00:17:02.599 --> 00:17:10.563 And so cisgenderism is the ideology that says that this is the natural way of being, right? 00:17:10.563 --> 00:17:14.505 And cisgenderism is just one manifestation, really. 00:17:14.505 --> 00:17:16.646 of biological determinism. 00:17:16.646 --> 00:17:26.252 The idea that the characteristics that we are, you know, the physical characteristics that we are born with dictate the kind of person

that we are. 00:17:26.252 --> 00:17:38.721 So, for example, the idea that women are naturally nurturing and caring and that men are naturally, again, air quote, you know, the providers. 00:17:38.721 --> 00:17:45.964 Those are very kind of uh ideas that uh are biologically determined, right? 00:17:45.964 --> 00:17:54.919 Like if you're born with the sect of biological characteristics, you're going to have this psychological, social, emotional characteristics. 00:17:55.038 --> 00:17:56.859 There's a lot more to say about that. 00:17:56.859 --> 00:17:58.820 I've done a whole episode about that. 00:17:58.820 --> 00:18:01.162 think it's episode two or three. 00:18:01.162 --> 00:18:01.622 I don't know. 00:18:01.622 --> 00:18:04.002 You'll have to check it out on the channel. 00:18:04.002 --> 00:18:09.164 But again, this idea is never really fully brought out in the documentary. 00:18:09.164 --> 00:18:12.205 And I think that that is such a missed opportunity. 00:18:12.205 --> 00:18:19.951 At one point there is mentioned in passing of gender ideology, and it's actually from one of the men being interviewed. 00:18:19.951 --> 00:18:24.034 And they're talking about gender ideology in terms of trans people. 00:18:24.094 --> 00:18:31.419 And that could have been such an opportunity for Theroux to say, but what about the gender ideology of Inside the Manosphere? 00:18:31.419 --> 00:18:33.661 You also have a gender ideology. 00:18:33.661 --> 00:18:48.650 You think that men are supposed to act and be a certain way to be real men, in air quote, and that women kind of uh have to act in certain ways or are a certain way because of who they are, right? 00:18:48.650 --> 00:18:50.832 That is also a gender ideology. 00:18:50.832 --> 00:18:57.316 Again, there is this real uh missed opportunity to go deeper and for reflection. 00:18:57.316 --> 00:19:04.020 And this is something that I'm seeing a lot when it comes to the discourse around the differences between men and women. 00:19:04.020 --> 00:19:13.346 Sometimes the patriarchy might get mentioned, but it never goes beyond actually questioning the foundations of sisterhood. 00:19:13.346 --> 00:19:17.928 And this is really what we're talking about is the foundations. 00:19:17.928 --> 00:19:31.932 When the foundations um are rooted in cisgenderism, it is not a surprise then that men and women feel that there are certain way that they are supposed to be to fit into society, right? 00:19:31.932 --> 00:19:47.176 And at this moment where we're facing the global rise of fascism and lot of uncertainty, I think a lot of people are grasping for what can give us a level of security, of safety and uncertainty. 00:19:47.176 --> 00:19:55.630 And people love to talk about the loneliness epidemic that some men are experiencing or even the manosphere. 00:19:55.630 --> 00:20:00.009 And yet, why is it that we can never connect the dots? 00:20:00.009 --> 00:20:05.410 We either talk about trans people separately from the way we talk about men and women. 00:20:05.410 --> 00:20:10.490 I'm even seeing a lot of discourse around how the matriarchy is gonna save us. 00:20:10.490 --> 00:20:16.730 And I actually don't think the matriarchy is gonna save us, but I'm not gonna go into that right now. 00:20:16.730 --> 00:20:21.824 I have an old article that I'm writing for Substack on that very topic. 00:20:21.824 --> 00:20:44.488 And the reason why I don't think the short version, I will give you the short reason of why I don't think the matriarchy is going to save us, is that we're still reinforcing this binary, this idea that there are men and women and only men and women in terms of gender expansiveness, gender diversity in our humanity. 00:20:44.488 --> 00:20:58.031 And as long as we keep perpetuating this idea, that uh men have certain inherent characteristics and women have certain inherent characteristics, we're still promoting biological determinism. 00:20:58.031 --> 00:21:14.420 So people who are saying the matriarchy is going to save us because women are naturally more caring and cooperative, ultimately are still perpetuating the same ideas through a different package that the folks inside the manosphere are also talking about. 00:21:14.560 --> 00:21:39.422 And it might seem weird to say that women who are talking about the matriarchy and the divine feminine and the power of the womb are perpetuating the same ideas that those male influencers of Inside the Manosphere who are all about being an alpha male, they seem very opposite, but in reality, they're two sides of the same coin. 00:21:39.422 --> 00:21:43.324 And that is my main criticism of Inside the Manosphere. 00:21:43.324 --> 00:21:46.922 At no point does it show how this is two sides. 00:21:46.922 --> 00:21:49.105 of the same coin, right? 00:21:49.105 --> 00:21:55.296 These ideas are never really fully explored and fully challenged. 00:21:55.296 --> 00:22:21.776 And by not fully exploring and not fully challenging this, We keep perpetuating this separation, this dichotomy, and in a way the pain that uh those men, especially the young men who are following some of these influencers, are starting to, are trying to really manage, right? 00:22:21.776 --> 00:22:30.068 At one point, it's very clear that what some of those young men are talking about is the impact of late stage capitalism. 00:22:30.068 --> 00:22:34.836 and how hard it is to survive under late-stage capitalism. 00:22:35.136 --> 00:22:38.378 But of course, that is not how they talk about it. 00:22:38.378 --> 00:22:47.083 The way that they have been conditioned to think about this is that women are taking opportunities away from them, right? 00:22:47.083 --> 00:22:52.404 Or for white people, the folks of the global majority are taking opportunities away from them. 00:22:52.404 --> 00:22:58.117 Or that trans people are really the folks who we need to be afraid of. 00:22:58.117 --> 00:23:07.491 And really, by trans people, often, unfortunately, people mean trans women

because misogyny and transmisogyny particular is well and alive. 00:23:07.492 --> 00:23:25.207 And so I really question in many ways how useful it is to have a documentary like Inside the Manosphere beyond the controversy and the sensationalizing. 00:23:25.207 --> 00:23:48.724 And I also question whether Theroux himself and some of those men aren't two sides of the same coin because much as Theroux talks about how for many of these male influencers, right, everything is content, but in a way he's also treating all of this as content and a content that's been very popular, right? 00:23:48.724 --> 00:23:50.776 It's all over social media. 00:23:50.776 --> 00:24:00.232 It's all over different kind of online uh magazines in terms of like critiques or support for the documentary. 00:24:00.292 --> 00:24:12.179 And again, I question how different are really those two different, those types of masculinity and why is it that one is seen as acceptable? 00:24:12.179 --> 00:24:24.664 Obviously, Theroux is seen as a more acceptable type of liberal, inner quote, masculinity versus the conservative type of masculinity that those influencers are embodying. 00:24:24.826 --> 00:24:36.473 But in reality, aren't they both serving the same cultural parameters and aren't they both chasing likes in different ways, right? 00:24:36.473 --> 00:25:06.417 uh On social media those young men might be chasing likes but you know Theroux as a documentarian is chasing viewers and Netflix as the producer of the documentary is chasing money and yet These of similarities are never explored because if we start questioning the foundation, then the whole system starts to crack. 00:25:06.417 --> 00:25:11.787 If we start saying that, hang on a minute, actually, our... 00:25:11.787 --> 00:25:23.035 you know, the influencers were kind of chasing likes through portraying this idea of more money, more women, more cars, more houses, right? 00:25:23.035 --> 00:25:27.307 More wealth, more prestige, more popularity, more likes. 00:25:27.509 --> 00:25:32.372 And Theroux are they different kind of masculinity? 00:25:32.511 --> 00:25:45.446 Are the women who are, you know, talking about the need for a matriarchy to push back against the patriarchy really different? 00:25:45.446 --> 00:25:57.376 um Or are all of those people still perpetuating a system that is not going to crack anytime soon because we always stop short? 00:25:58.079 --> 00:26:10.414 And I think that that is my main criticism, not only of this documentary, but generally how we talk about men and women, especially in the context of dominant culture. 00:26:10.414 --> 00:26:15.417 We stop short of really questioning this idea of biological determinism. 00:26:15.417 --> 00:26:43.202 And so as long as we believe that women are naturally more caring, more cooperative, more monogamous even, um you know, and that men are the ones are more interested in power and power over rather than power with in all these different ways, how are we truly

challenging biological determinism? 00:26:43.202 --> 00:26:44.722 I don't think we are. 00:26:47.346 --> 00:26:49.698 And honestly, those are just some initial thoughts. 00:26:49.698 --> 00:26:54.700 And I always welcome kind of comments, pushback questions. 00:26:54.700 --> 00:26:57.121 And I really want to think about this more. 00:26:57.121 --> 00:27:06.784 I might make myself watch the documentary again and put those thoughts in writing in a more kind of uh consistent way. 00:27:06.884 --> 00:27:17.871 Because one of the things that I like to do m in this kind of YouTube series, as well as in my podcast, Gender Stories, is really to have a conversation. 00:27:17.871 --> 00:27:30.933 It's really hard to have a conversation by myself, but hopefully it feels like I'm having a conversation with you, the viewers, and if you're listening to this on a different type of podcast platform with you, the listeners. 00:27:30.933 --> 00:27:34.575 And so I truly do want to know what you're thinking. 00:27:34.935 --> 00:27:45.058 And ultimately, the last kind of couple of things that I want to say is that I wonder, what would happen if we could stay a little more curious. 00:27:45.058 --> 00:27:56.324 I wonder what kind of documentary we could have had if we had approached this uh man with more compassion and curiosity and kindness. 00:27:56.324 --> 00:27:58.765 And believe me, I get it. 00:27:58.765 --> 00:28:10.670 It is hard to approach some of those men with curiosity and compassion and kindness because they're saying incredibly harmful things, incredibly misogynistic things. 00:28:10.829 --> 00:28:26.329 uh There is a good dose of antisemitism at one point in the documentary, so if you haven't watched it, also be aware of that, that there is some significant antisemitism because of who the root is. 00:28:27.539 --> 00:28:45.567 And so I'm not saying that it would have been easy, but I think that in a way, isn't that the responsibility of somebody who's making a documentary to approach the subject of the documentary with curiosity and to try and understand their point of view. 00:28:45.567 --> 00:29:00.434 And so I would have been much more interested in going deep and understanding how are we creating the condition for this male influencers to have the million of followers that they have. 00:29:00.615 --> 00:29:20.364 And I think some of the, as a gender scholar, a few ways in which we're creating the conditions for this young man to rise to um having the size of following and the level of influence that they have on young men is by, you know. 00:29:20.736 --> 00:29:26.838 perpetuating capitalism, the idea that our worth comes from money and capital. 00:29:26.838 --> 00:29:35.823 And so of course, everybody wants more money and capital, because if that's where our worth comes from, that's what we need to try and get, right? 00:29:35.823 --> 00:29:48.769 And also how we're all struggling as prices are rising, as we're facing a climate crisis globally, you know, as well as the global rise of fascism. 00:29:48.969 --> 00:29:53.105 We're all struggling to like pay the rent, pay the mortgage, pay the bills. 00:29:53.105 --> 00:30:05.634 And so of course it's attractive if you have somebody who's telling you, have the secret for you to not work so hard and make a lot of money and have exactly the kind of lifestyle you want to have. 00:30:05.674 --> 00:30:07.355 How could that not be popular? 00:30:07.355 --> 00:30:20.526 I mean, even on this platform of YouTube, have a look around of how popular the platforms are telling you how to grow, you know, you're following from, you know, zero to a hundred thousand. 00:30:20.526 --> 00:30:26.645 overnight, how to monetize everything, how to find more sources of income, right? 00:30:26.645 --> 00:30:30.685 There's a reason why all that content is so popular. 00:30:30.786 --> 00:30:32.286 We are suffering. 00:30:32.286 --> 00:30:35.026 We are suffering under late-stage capitalism. 00:30:35.026 --> 00:30:41.306 We can't afford to pay our bills and we're working harder than ever in a lot of different places. 00:30:41.306 --> 00:30:45.066 And so of course people are going to be drawn to that kind of content. 00:30:45.066 --> 00:31:00.366 And also When we live in a culture that is so uh lacking in kind of um curiosity and compassion and connection. 00:31:00.650 --> 00:31:04.511 That's often what people are looking for when they're following this man. 00:31:04.511 --> 00:31:10.104 They're looking for those parasocial relationships where they feel seen and valued. 00:31:10.104 --> 00:31:16.788 And so what is it that we're doing that is making young men not feeling seen or valued? 00:31:16.788 --> 00:31:22.509 And believe me, I think it is important that we keep talking about toxic masculinity. 00:31:22.509 --> 00:31:29.433 Toxic masculinity is a thing, but masculinity in itself is not evil. 00:31:29.433 --> 00:31:37.278 And that is part of the issue that people are taking those systemic issues and reducing them to individual issues. 00:31:37.278 --> 00:31:46.224 And even this documentary in a way is taking this really important topic of why does the manosphere even exist? 00:31:46.224 --> 00:31:47.786 Why does it exist? 00:31:47.786 --> 00:31:49.207 Who does it serve? 00:31:49.207 --> 00:31:57.832 Who benefits from some of the values that are being promoted in the manosphere and who's financing the manosphere? 00:31:57.832 --> 00:32:00.446 These are the questions that are wanted. 00:32:00.446 --> 00:32:04.227 to see tackled in the documentary. 00:32:04.227 --> 00:32:05.426 Who's benefiting? 00:32:05.426 --> 00:32:07.807 Who's paying the bills of those dudes? 00:32:07.807 --> 00:32:11.227 And why are they being promoted, right? 00:32:12.846 --> 00:32:17.307 There is money behind those folks. 00:32:18.226 --> 00:32:25.940 Some of these young men are being extracted from, exploited, uh and they're exploiting others, right? 00:32:25.940 --> 00:32:30.761 I'm not denying

that some of their behaviors are abhorrent. 00:32:30.761 --> 00:32:36.444 They're violent, they're misogynistic, antisemitic, all the things they have already said, they're transphobic, right? 00:32:36.444 --> 00:32:48.351 There's definitely a passing comment uh around transphobia and kind of, uh you know, the idea that gender ideology is really about trans people. 00:32:48.351 --> 00:32:54.479 whereas as you know I would say that the gender ideology in dominant culture is cisgenderism. 00:32:56.107 --> 00:33:01.048 Those were the questions that I wanted to see tackled because those are systemic questions. 00:33:01.048 --> 00:33:05.407 And instead, the documentary again, individualizes everything. 00:33:05.407 --> 00:33:20.528 And as long as we individualize those issues and we see those as extremists and as separate from us, I don't think that we can achieve meaningful meaningful change together collectively. 00:33:20.528 --> 00:33:21.508 Right. 00:33:21.508 --> 00:33:22.948 And so. 00:33:23.730 --> 00:33:43.426 Dear watchers on YouTube or listeners, if you're listening, those are the kind of questions that I encourage you to ask yourself, whether you've already watched the documentary or whether you decide to watch the documentary after em seeing this episode or listening to this episode. 00:33:43.426 --> 00:33:46.268 I really want you to ask yourself some questions. 00:33:47.101 --> 00:33:55.267 What is the system that is making those men so appealing, not just to men, but also to women? 00:33:55.827 --> 00:34:08.679 What is the system that benefits from this kind of discourse, whether the discourse is from the Manosphere or from a documentary like Inside the Manosphere? 00:34:08.679 --> 00:34:10.259 Who benefits? 00:34:10.981 --> 00:34:12.942 Where is the money? 00:34:12.942 --> 00:34:15.184 Always ask yourself, where is the money? 00:34:15.436 --> 00:34:17.155 Who's making the money? 00:34:17.295 --> 00:34:18.135 Where is the money? 00:34:18.135 --> 00:34:19.215 Who's benefiting? 00:34:19.215 --> 00:34:19.735 Right? 00:34:19.735 --> 00:34:22.675 The producers is Netflix. 00:34:22.936 --> 00:34:30.195 They are not really invested in challenging, you know, biological determinism. 00:34:30.255 --> 00:34:38.916 I would hope that Theroux as a documentarian might have been a little bit more invested in going deeper, but that's not the choice he made. 00:34:38.916 --> 00:34:40.376 And that's okay. 00:34:40.675 --> 00:34:41.936 He's a creator. 00:34:41.936 --> 00:34:48.478 He gets to create in the way that, um, He wants to and that best suits him. 00:34:48.478 --> 00:35:04.550 But as long as we take this big systemic issues and reduce them to this individual phenomena, I think that we're going to keep living in the same type of culture and society that we're already living in. 00:35:05.010 --> 00:35:08.452 Because we're reproducing the same kind of binaries. 00:35:08.914 --> 00:35:10.353 Man and women. 00:35:10.414 --> 00:35:12.487 Bad man, good man. 00:35:12.487 --> 00:35:22.990 misogynistic man, non-misogynistic man, feminist man, non-feminist man, know, toxic man, non-toxic man. 00:35:22.990 --> 00:35:33.914 And I don't want us to be able to just distinguish between good man, bad man, toxic man, non-toxic man, misogynistic man, non-misogynistic man. 00:35:33.914 --> 00:35:39.596 I want us to question the whole thing at the root. 00:35:39.692 --> 00:35:51.952 I really want us to ask what would it take for masculinity to be expansive. 00:35:52.052 --> 00:35:55.414 And what would it take for femininity to be expansive? 00:35:55.414 --> 00:36:05.929 And what would it take for people who don't fit into masculinity or femininity, who want to mix it up or want to divest from this binary altogether? 00:36:05.929 --> 00:36:12.063 As long as we don't question those binaries, we're just reproducing new binaries. 00:36:12.063 --> 00:36:18.606 And so, sure, you know, we might be better able to distinguish the good man from the bad man. 00:36:20.112 --> 00:36:23.465 And at the end of the day, as the system changed. 00:36:23.465 --> 00:36:24.476 Not really. 00:36:24.476 --> 00:36:27.336 And what I'm interested in is system change. 00:36:27.336 --> 00:36:31.358 I hope you're interested in that too, if you're watching or listening. 00:36:31.559 --> 00:36:34.019 So for now, I'm going to stop rambling. 00:36:34.019 --> 00:36:36.431 Please let me know what you think about this new format. 00:36:36.431 --> 00:36:37.961 I mean, don't get me wrong. 00:36:37.961 --> 00:36:47.865 It's really nerve wracking to go live rather than to record the episode, really think it through, edit it and give you the most polished version of myself. 00:36:47.865 --> 00:36:51.907 But I hope that this live format also gives you something. 00:36:51.907 --> 00:37:04.467 What it gives me is the opportunity to bypass all my anxiety and just do the thing and put it out there and see what you how it lands and what you think about it. 00:37:04.467 --> 00:37:12.704 And I would love to hear whether you like this format or if you want me to go back to a more polished, pre-recorded format. 00:37:12.704 --> 00:37:17.431 And I hope that maybe you'll tune in live next time. 00:37:17.431 --> 00:37:21.753 I would love to see some of you tuning in live, asking questions. 00:37:21.753 --> 00:37:28.297 And if there is a topic that you would like me to tackle in a future Warm Tech Wednesdays, please let me know. 00:37:28.862 --> 00:37:32.865 But for now, please take really good and gentle care of yourself. 00:37:32.865 --> 00:37:39.971 Stay curious and ask yourself, is this an individual issue or is this a systemic issue? 00:37:39.971 --> 00:37:46.934 And if it's a systemic issue, are there different questions that maybe we could ask ourselves and each other? 00:37:47.596 --> 00:37:51.199 Take good and gentle care of yourself and one another.