Pełna transkrypcja odcinka Normalizing Addiction Talks In Schools

comes, one, from God, who is our ever present help in trouble. Mrs. Thiessen: And then there's some human institutions that can help people as well. I'm going to pray, and then I will let my sister talk. And we'll kind of talk back and forth a little bit, but, uh, kind of even just letting it go as it goes. So, Lord, I thank you for who you are. I thank you for your plan. I thank you that you have answered prayers for my [00:04:00] sister, uh, that we've prayed for years and, uh, and that she can be here sharing today and be able to, uh, share her story, that we can learn from it. Mrs. Thiessen: And I thank you that you are a God that redeems. And so even though we all make mistakes, There's consequences, but you can take situations and you can redeem them and you can make them work up for your glory. So I pray that you would be honored and glorified today in this chapel. So, Dora. Amen. Thank you, Dora. Dora Meyer: Hey, hey, hey, beautiful peeps. My name is Dora and I am the host of the Soberoso podcast, where I invite guests and listeners from around the world to join me in sharing my passion for recovery. I'm an alcoholic and I'm an adult. And if you would have told me five years ago that I would stand out [00:05:00] on a stage. Dora Meyer: in a school that my siblings graduated from, my sister teaches at, my mom, Mrs. G. Taught at, my daughters graduated, my nieces and nephews attend this school that I would stand in front of you and willingly tell you that I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I would have said that you were off your rocker. Dora Meyer: But I am here today because I believe that I have a very powerful message and you are the right people that need to hear this message. Drinking and drugging usually starts between the ages of 10 and 13. That's pretty young. That's where it begins. So before we go any further, I'd like to ask you a question. Dora Meyer: How many of you out there have an aunt, an uncle, a mother, a father, a sister, a cousin, or somebody that you know is an alcoholic or an addict? Please raise your hand.[00:06:00]  Dora Meyer: All right, thank you. You are not alone. Dora Meyer: How many of you spend time talking about addiction and alcoholism? Dora Meyer: Not one, eh? We are in a crisis right now. People are OD'ing and dying left, right, and center. And my mission is to normalize conversations around alcoholism and addiction. This is something that we should be able to talk about. It affects people around the world. It tears families apart. And this is a talk that we should be having. Dora Meyer: Without worry, without shame, but how is it? What is it? How do we get over it? How do we solve it? How do we help? Let's talk about it.  Mrs. Thiessen: You Mrs. Thiessen: identify yourself as an addict. If I was, or we were to ask you, what does an addict look like? [00:07:00] Most of you would think the homeless person sitting on the street that's like a meth addict. Mrs. Thiessen: That's an addict. But an addict can be functioning normally in the world, they can hold a job, and they can be doing normal things. And so it might even play into the idea that they don't realize they have a problem because they're not as bad as someone else. So 10 to 13, that sounds pretty young, and I mean, I did do this in my class, I won't do this for you, but I could say how many of you have tried drinking? Mrs. Thiessen: How many of you have gotten drunk already? And there might be a more surprising amount of people that have said that. So for you, where's your story? When did you have your first drink? Was I there?  Dora Meyer: You were there, Dawn. You probably don't remember, but, yeah, I was 12 years old and we were on a family vacation in Mexico. Dora Meyer: I grew up with a Christian family. My father was a elder in church. My mom was very heavily involved in church. [00:08:00] And, uh, we had a family vacation in Mexico. And at the end of the meal, the waiter brought out a  Dora Meyer: drink that was Kahlua and milk. and they served the whole table and they served me one and I was 12. Dora Meyer: And I remember looking at that drink and I thought, Ooh, can I have this? And my eyes kind of got all sparkly and, and I think I looked at my mom and, and dad and, and I just went for it anyways. I mean, they served it to me, right? So I had that drink and I felt like I arrived. I have this sip, this drink. And I remember thinking. Dora Meyer: I'm an adult now. I know what I'm doing. This is what I want and I want more of this.  Mrs. Thiessen: It's  Mrs. Thiessen: that feeling of being an adult and being arrived and being, like, fitting in. I see some of the students here and I'm like, you don't know how young you are. If you guys look back at the [00:09:00] middle schoolers, you guys are like, oh, they are so young. Mrs. Thiessen: But you talk to them and they feel like they are the oldest and they are arrived and they've got their mind all set. I'm So, just a representation, you guys are like 15, 13, 15, 16, that ish? Okay? So, 13 to 16. 16? Where were you at 16? Dora Meyer: When I was 16, I was already living on my own. I had, uh, started running away from home very shortly after that first drink. Dora Meyer: And, uh, I wanted to live my own life, and I didn't want to live under my parents rules. I was living on my own at the age of 15. And before I could even walk into a bar or buy booze myself, I already had two children. I was a teenage mom, and I was living with the consequences of my decisions. I thought I was an adult, and I had to live an adult life. Dora Meyer: I stopped maturing, I stopped [00:10:00] growing, I stopped developing. I went straight from the hormones of a teenager into the hormones of a mother as a teenager.  Mrs. Thiessen: So that's why you're shorter than me. Mrs. Thiessen: So, we've had this journey, she's been in my life, and we've seen, um, So I got to have these nieces at such a young age and so back and forth you struggled and a lot of times it

just seemed like relationship choices, that you were making bad relationship choices. When, like, did you know you had a problem with alcohol? Mrs. Thiessen: When did that come?  Dora Meyer: That's  Dora Meyer: the thing, uh, when you start drinking and drugging, there is no warning sign that says if you have this drink, you are now an alcoholic. There's no sign that says if you smoke this or snort this or do this, you are officially an addict. There is an invisible line into addiction and [00:11:00] alcoholism that once you cross, You can never return from. Dora Meyer: So, for myself, I haven't had a drink or a drug in almost three years, which is an absolute miracle. Dora Meyer: Thank you. I cannot have a drink or a drug because I will always be an alcoholic and I will always be an addict. And if I take one drink today, That drink awakens a craving inside of me to have another drink, and another drink, and more, and more. I have a disease of not enoughness. I want more of a good thing, I want the music to get louder, I want the people to get better, I want the party to go longer, I want more booze, I want more drugs, I want more, more, more, more, more, because it's never enough. Mrs. Thiessen: So that's Cycle. I mean, years, your, your children [00:12:00] came to live in my house with my mom and dad, our, our mom and dad. They were raised, um, with me, my, more like my sisters, actually. Uh, and then, I remember there was a time when they were in high school, they were in grade 11 and 12, that you came back, and you , got a job, and you were going through the motions, and it seemed like you were doing okay, and a lot of people would have been like, Oh, we were so proud of her, she was doing that, but there was something there, I knew that you weren't. Mrs. Thiessen: You. And then we had, I haven't told you this, but we had a, uh, at my house, we had a, uh, New Year's party, and then there was a little bit of drinking, and somebody was smoking weed, and you were, and all of a sudden, you're like, this person that is so happy, so given, this is the life that you wanted, and I realized that for those times that you were here, you were faking, and you were just faking it, to because of your daughters, peeps. Mrs. Thiessen: Once your daughter's [00:13:00] graduating, you went back to Mexico, you continued, and now it didn't have anything holding you back. So, take us through Mexico to the point of desperation.  Dora Meyer: Yeah, thank you, Dawn. There's some things that my sister's telling me right now that I don't even know, so it's a little bit hard to hear, but, um, Yeah, I, I, I did come back and play the mom role for about five years. Dora Meyer: I was that mom that showed up to all the meetings, I was on the grad committee here, I was standing for the parent lockdown night while both of my daughters graduated from this school, and then when they left, or when they graduated, I, I realized, like, what am I doing here, you know, when can I get

back to the party? Dora Meyer: I was putting on a facade. I was trying to be a mother on the outside with this mask so my kids wouldn't hate me, but on the inside I couldn't wait to get back to drinking and drugging. I moved back to Mexico. [00:14:00] I got in a really shady relationship. And if you could sum up my drinking and drugging, the two things that go hand in hand with drinking and drugging for me are bad decision making and getting involved in bad relationships. Dora Meyer: If I'm not drinking, I don't get a ride with a stranger at 3 in the morning. If I'm not drinking, I never forget where I put my car. There are a lot of, uh, consequences that come with drinking and drugging. And, um, I was in a very rocky relationship when I went back to Mexico. I, I felt very isolated, I felt hopeless, I felt like I'd lost contact with my family. Dora Meyer: And, uh, with my friends. There was a lot of drugs and a lot of drinking involved, and it was very abusive. I, I, I was depressed. I was drinking and drugging more and more to, to try and [00:15:00] control my reality with that outside substance. And, um, I remember one night I was high as a kite. My boyfriend was yelling at me. Dora Meyer: And I locked myself into a room for about 8 hours, which was quite normal. We'd be, um, Drinking and drugging and you get aggressive and I locked myself into a room. So I was locked into a room and I, and I remember just waiting for the sunlight to come up so I could, so I could leave, so I could escape this chaos I was living in. Dora Meyer: And I remember thinking, God, please help me. I remember this phrase came to my mind, To thine own self be true. And I remember thinking, I can't even be true to myself. I don't even have the gut to the backbone to walk away from this relationship that's gonna kill me. How can I expect anybody else to be true to me or to [00:16:00] respect me if I can't even do that for myself? Dora Meyer: I have no backbone. A couple weeks later, I ended up finally leaving this guy. It had been off and on, off and on. I always got sucked back in. It was 2. 30 in the morning, and I, uh, I walked out on him for the last time again. With my dog in my carry on bag, checked into a hotel at 2. 30 in the morning. And I fell to my knees on the edge of the bed, and I cried out to a god I hadn't talked to in a long time. Dora Meyer: And I said, God, please help me. Help me find the courage and the strength I need to get away from this relationship that's gonna kill me. Next morning I got up and, uh, I got a taxi in my carry on suitcase. I blocked this guy from my phone and I thought, uh, this is day one, I'm starting over. And, uh, I grabbed a beer, I got in a [00:17:00] taxi, and I wanted to locate closer to town so I could walk around. Dora Meyer: And in that taxi, I had a beer. And on that taxi ride to town, I had this thought come to my head. Maybe if I stopped drinking and drugging, I will have the strength to stick to the decision I'm making. Maybe I'll have the courage to stay away from this man. And this was the first time in my life I correlated drinking and drugging with my decision making skills. Dora Meyer: That was the last drink I had. Dora Meyer: A couple days later, I walked into my very first meeting, a recovery meeting, a meeting for people that are trying to get clean and sober. It's known as Alcoholics Anonymous. They're in every community. I walked in there really, really not knowing what to expect, but I had this gift of [00:18:00] desperation. Which is the acronym for God in my life. Dora Meyer: When things get so, so bad, and you yell up to God, and you say, God, just get me through this, and I'm not going to do that again. I won't do that again, I promise. That's where I was at, and that's what it took to turn my life around. I was in this meeting and, uh, I'd been going there for every day, twice a day, for a couple times a day. Dora Meyer: And at this meeting, they have these little coins. And when you're a newcomer, they have a little coin that they pass out to you. And one says, you know, 24 hours clean and sober. One says, 30 days clean and sober. Six months, and one year, two years. And they're this milestone because, you know, Not drinking and not drugging for one day when you've done it for 30 years? Dora Meyer: It's a pretty hard task, and I drank and drunk for 30 years. So I had been going to this meeting, and I didn't realize that these coins [00:19:00] existed. And somebody realized that I didn't have one, so, um, before the meeting started, they said, Oh, we're going to give Dora this coin for a couple 24 hours of sobriety she has. Dora Meyer: They said, let's put some love on this coin and pass it around, and they did. Put some love on it and pass it around. And when I was going to these meetings, I could not see through the tears in my eyes for about a month. I couldn't look anybody in the eye. I was an emotional wreck. Detoxing, starting my life over, not knowing where I was going to live. Dora Meyer: Alone. But clean and sober. I got this coin in my hand. And I flipped it over, and on the back of it said, To thine own self be true.  Mrs. Thiessen: What a God moment. To see that journey and to know those moments where this point of desperation, this thought that comes to your head, this coin that goes here, this [00:20:00] final correlation that puts it together, To know that our family and friends have been praying for you for years that you would come to that realization. Mrs. Thiessen: And one of the things when you have someone in your life who is going through this, um, you want to help them. So they come up and they're like, I just need a little bit of money to pay rent. You give them money, they use it for drugs or drinking. They come back and they're like, Oh, I'm sorry, I need this and that. Mrs. Thiessen: And, and you just keep giving it and you know that it's like not helping. Like, what am I supposed to do? But I can't just say,

you cannot visit me and my children. Until whatever. Like, do you give that ultimatum? Is that love? And in talking with Dora about that, this idea of getting to a point of desperation is necessary in a person's recovery, to realize that I need to change. Mrs. Thiessen: So even when you're preparing this and I'm giving you [00:21:00] questions of what I would ask or, Those are'nt questions an addict asks an addict. You obviously have no experience with it. So, uh, it was interesting to be able to see how we're preparing for this, but I've been learning from it as well. So one of the things that you mentioned, and even the purpose that you have right now in sharing, is the idea of an addict helping another addict. Mrs. Thiessen: So can you tell us a little bit about why that is important, that it has to be someone who's been through it?  Dora Meyer: Yeah, sure. So the way it works, there are many different paths to recovery. There's a couple, few different programs out there. Alcoholics Anonymous has been around since 1935, and before this book came out, they believed that if you were an alcoholic, that you were doomed to death, that you had an incurable disease. Dora Meyer: And two guys got together and wrote a book in 1935 and these two guys were alcoholics and they found a way how one [00:22:00] alcoholic could help another alcoholic and they wrote the book. It's been around for, what, 80 years now? They haven't changed it much at all. So, it works because if you're a drunk, or if you're an alcoholic, or you're an addict, and you walk into an office or to a doctor that, you know, has a well paying job and doesn't know what you're experiencing, tells you how to get through it. Dora Meyer: It just doesn't work the same as somebody that's actually been in your shoes saying, I know how you feel. I used to blackout all the time. I have a 10 DUIs. I went to jail. Somebody like that is a lot easier to share a message of how they recovered. But it takes a team, it takes a tribe, and it takes God. Mrs. Thiessen: Good point. So, she mentions this idea of you can't be helped by someone who hasn't been through it. And we can empathize and sympathize with people when we want to say [00:23:00] like, I want to imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes, or whatever, to go through, or you hear that saying like, you want to know someone, walk a mile in their shoes, or whatever, but my feet are too big, I couldn't fit in your shoes. Mrs. Thiessen: But, um, the idea that I want to hit home here is what Jesus has done for us. Because if we just had a God who created us and sent us to work, and then we went through our life, and we came up to Him at Judgment Day, we could say, you know what it's like. To be tired, to be hungry, to be lonely. You don't know what it's like. Mrs. Thiessen: I was desperate. I had to do this or that. But God did not leave it that way. And Jesus came in body as a man. He was hungry. He was tired. He was thirsty. He was rejected by his friends. And he did [00:24:00] all these things. And when he died and rose again, he became this high priest for us. The Catholics will have this confession time, where you actually go to a priest, you see them in movies, and forgive your father for any sin, and you can tell this priest what you've done, and then they say, do this, Hail Mary, or whatever. Mrs. Thiessen: But the idea of talking to someone who's perfect about what you did, and confessing that, takes a lot of guts. And in the Old Testament, the Israelites would go to their high priest, and they would bring their offerings, and they'd say, I sinned, I did this, I did that, here is my offering, offer it to God, make me clean before God so that I can enter in that relationship again. Mrs. Thiessen: And that was the high priest. And often the high priest couldn't understand who you were because they lived such a holy life. That can be from Hebrews 4. Verse 15 to 16. For we do not have [00:25:00] a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things that we are, yet without sin. Mrs. Thiessen: Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help at a time of need. So our high priest, our Jesus. can sympathize with us. So we can go to him and say, How do I do this? And we can follow this example. And we can actually take what he did perfectly and have that as our record before God. Mrs. Thiessen: And when we're trying to live well, he talked about the temptations and how do you deal with temptations for her. She has had to say she cannot have a drink. She can't drink like a normal person, have one drink and stop. [00:26:00] And so there are situations in life that you are all going to find. It might not be alcohol, it might not be drugs, but you are going to find yourself in places where you are tempted. Mrs. Thiessen: That you're tempted that this thing is going to make me happy. And you need to remember that there is no temptation that is ceased here except what is common to man. And God is faithful. He will provide for you a way to stand up. Mrs. Thiessen: God bless you. You are dismissed. And thank  Mrs. Thiessen: you for tuning in to another episode of the Soberoso podcast. I hope today's conversation brought you a little closer to hope, healing, or understanding. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe or follow to the show, wherever you listen to your favorite [00:27:00] podcasts. Mrs. Thiessen: If this episode brought you comfort and made you feel a little better inside, please share it with someone who might need that today. You can follow Soberoso on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram for more inspiration and updates. Don't forget, we're here every week with new stories, tips, and topics to help you along the road to healing. Mrs. Thiessen: Until the next time, I'm your grateful host, Dora. Stay safe, stay sober, and to thine own self be true.