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You have millions of choices to make, you know, and those choices are made every single day.
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I mean, it's just a constant decision of, you know, which path we're going, what, you know, what angle we're taking, you know, and you know, you need to ask yourself, am I moving in the direction of a life filled with self-pity, guilt, hopelessness, despair, all leading to that life of regret that you just mentioned?
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Or am I making choices that will lead me to true joy, honor, contentment, and peace of mind, resulting in serenity?
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So, you know, as you age and you get toward that final chapter, you know, up in your years, and as that approaches, the thing that I want to end this with is I'm going to tell you nobody is coming to the rescue.
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So take accountability and make all those choices wisely starting today.
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Welcome to Run with the Cheetahs, the podcast.
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This podcast is the companion podcast to the book Run with the Cheetahs, written by Mr.
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Jerry Freistadt.
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It is a fabulous book.
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And you know, the companion podcast came along after Jerry did the audiobook.
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And as good as the book is, and as good as the audiobook is, he really felt like there was a lot more that needed to be said about all of these topics that he covers in the book.
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So he uh he invited me graciously to join him for the podcast, and we've been having a great time with these conversations.
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We really appreciate your listening, your watching, and we really appreciate all the comments you've sent in.
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They've been fantastic.
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We we love it so much, and we just hope that we're bringing you the material that you're excited to hear.
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We do about two of these a month.
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All right, so today's topic is gonna be I think Jerry saved the best to last in his book, actually.
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I think we saved the best to last.
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The topic is serenity.
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Let me get him in here.
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Jerry, come on in and say hello.
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Hey, Russell.
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Hey, great day.
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Uh, good to be here again and uh just absolutely looking forward to this.
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Um the um today's kind of a special day in reference to the the topic of serenity.
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Um, and um uh, you know, I had the unfortunate experience.
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My father passed away about a month ago.
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And um,
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you know, in the book, which we're gonna get into and uh cover a lot um about serenity and everything else, you know, a lot of the influence of the chapter was from my my father.
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And there's no person that I know of that ended their life in complete serenity like he did.
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And um, and you know, they had uh you know a 72-year marriage uh between kids, um, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren.
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They put uh 68 quality human beings on this earth, of which obviously that's going to turn into thousands and generations to come.
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And um, you know, he built uh built relationships um that were you know lifelong relationships, um impeccable friends.
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And he also uh they came from nothing, paycheck to paycheck, and uh they built a financial empire.
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And uh the the influence on all of us, um you know, I say all of us, you know, the the myself and my two brothers, and and I'd say all the grand first-level grandchildren as well, um, the impact was immeasurable.
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And uh we're gonna we're gonna get into it.
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Yep.
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Jerry, I well, first off, my condolences on the passing of your father.
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Um, I knew your father a little bit, just a touch, but just a touch to know that everything you just said is absolutely spot on.
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He was you felt I felt good around your father.
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He just had a way of making you feel comfortable, good, and talking to him was so easy.
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I I really I probably met him four or five times, but each time it was really nice.
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I he was a great man, a great man.
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Jerry, how old was he again?
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94 years old.
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Wow, he was a great man, lived a great life.
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Wow, absolutely.
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We should all be so lucky, my man.
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Well, all right, Jerry.
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As I said, I think uh in your book, and you know, I love that book, and everybody should have a copy of that on their bookshelf.
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Um, you save the best for last.
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You save the best for last.
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You say in that chapter, I think it's chapter 19 on serenity, you say, uh, you know, we've talked a lot about goals and achievement and success and money and all that, but uh serenity may well be the ultimate destination.
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The ultimate destination for it.
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I think that's pretty powerful.
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Tell us, Jerry, what in the world is serenity?
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Well, it's very difficult to like come up with a specific definition of serenity because it's a culmination of life's experiences.
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And I think the best way to convey this is I'm just gonna read two paragraphs out of the chapter, and I think people will get a real good understanding of you know what what it's all about.
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So you will realize that time is your most precious commodity, and learn that all of the most valuable things in life cannot be bought.
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This is when serenity becomes part of your existence.
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You begin yearning for the intangible, reflecting on the most precious things that you've experienced in life, like graduation day, your wedding day, your first child being born, building a snowman with your grandchild, the dogs you owned, the person you saved, or the people that you launched to a better life.
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You will start to value your relationships more and see the goodness in people differently.
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Drama will dissipate as you learn it's simply not worth your time or energy.
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Haters will have no impact on you.
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You will take pride in the success of the children you raised and the quality of the humans you put on this earth.
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Your love for your life partner will continue to grow as the two of you reflect on the world and the family you built together.
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You will look at each other like the day you met for eternity, reflect on the empire you built together, and each of you will know you were the lucky one.
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Grandchildren will be the joy of your life.
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The best description I've ever heard when you reach this place called serenity is silent harmony.
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It's an inside job.
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And I think that'll give people an idea of the culmination, the accumulation, and the trajectory that I would say just about every one of us is looking to land in in our elderly years.
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Jerry, I so many good words in all, so many good words.
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It's an inside job, silent harmony.
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I've never heard that phrase before until you.
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Great words.
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You know, I want to catch, I want to stop for a moment.
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I just want to pause for just a second here and say to everyone who might be listening, because you know, we might be having, we might have some 20-year-olds, some 30s, some 40s, and they're thinking, well, this guy's talking about the day when I'm sitting in my rocking chair, you know, he's talking about looking back on my life.
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And you know what?
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Here's the key thing that you need to know right now, as as younger people, this serenity picture that Jerry just described is built 30 and 40 years before that.
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It's built today.
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You don't wait till you're 80 to start looking around for serenity.
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You you build it now.
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I and I'm just gonna we'll get to that a little bit further.
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We're gonna talk about time horizons in a little bit.
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But Jerry, let me ask you this.
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Here's something.
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So many people kind of confuse serenity with achievement.
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And uh, you know, how how do those two things work together?
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Well, achievement is um, I would describe it as it's a prerequisite to serenity.
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I mean, humans are built to achieve.
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And uh, you know, i i in life, you know, this is also in the book, you know, our our struggles determine our strengths, and our strengths lift us to glory.
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Um with no glory, you eventually are going to end up in a place of regret.
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So it the answer is achievement's a component, and um, it's kind of what serenity has a lot of what I call residue, you know, things that things that are under it that slowly lead to that inner sense of contentment and peace of mind.
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So uh, you know, achieve achievement is definitely one of the core factors.
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I mean, I put it up there with one of the top um components if you want to have a life of serenity as you age.
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And was there a specific experience?
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I know you mentioned your dad a little bit ago, and I I know he was like such a good example for you.
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Was there any other life experiences that really kind of helped taught you about serenity?
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Well, you know, it's um the concept really came from the again, this is another chapter in the book called The Great Observer.
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Um, uh for whatever reason, when I was younger, I always was a good observer of of people, of places, what was going on.
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And, you know, and obviously part of that was, you know, watching, you know, my grandparents, watching the relationships, you know, at family functions of the older generation and so forth.
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And um, so so a lot of it has to do with where and what you came from, which in turn, you know, determines, you know, what you're meant, what you're made of.
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You know, most of us listening to this today enjoy, we live in a world of abundance.
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You know, my family faced daily struggles, fought battles to better themselves throughout their lifetime.
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And um, you know, seeing the joy in my family and everyone, despite the struggles, had a lasting impact on me.
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Family was very important.
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And people were happy.
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You know, they they they they they they were in spite of the struggles and and in spite of the lack of funds and paycheck to paycheck family for a couple of generations.
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Uh, the focus was always on the intangibles, and money can't measure that.
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So seeing that over time, you know, enabled me to kind of envision, you know, where I wanted to land 30, 40, 50 years from now.
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You know, Jerry, you just said happiness in spite of the struggle.
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I think we're gonna have to do a whole segment on that.
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No, no, because I mean that's that's really that's key.
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I mean, that's key.
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Oh my goodness.
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Well, why do you think it is that so many successful people, and you read about this all the time, people who, you know, are the titans of industry or whatever you want to say, and they're miserable, you know.
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Well, why is it?
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Why is it that successful people struggle with serenity?
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Well, it's not all successful people, but you know, uh, you know, life is a series of obsessions, and um, you know, you you have to be able to make the leap from one obsession to the next to the next.
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Um, all extremely successful people are obsessed with something for certain periods of time.
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But if you stay obsessed with one thing for your entire life, you will not reach serenity.
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Um it's it's what you call the seasons of your life.
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It evolves it evolves and changes over time.
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Um, I think that in today's world, um, there's there's uh definitely a more of I want it now.
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I mean, it's human nature.
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I mean, that's the way we all all of us were, but I mean, I think it's more evident today.
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So, so the lack of vision, courage, and you know, the faith, the, the, and the serenity concept has a lot to do with faith and belief that you're gonna put in 30, 40 years to build something, and it's gonna result in an internal feeling that can't be matched any other way.
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Um, I think I think the people who struggle the most, you know, are the sheep in the book, okay, because the sheep are risk-averse people who think they have life all
planned out.
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Like we talked about in the other podcasts, you know, the plan A people.
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Right.
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You know, and uh, you know, and and it it life doesn't work that way.
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Life is supposed to be an adventure, you know, it's part of the human spirit.
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Your ability to step into the unknown will directly correlate to the serenity you develop later in your life.
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Um, going back to another quote that I love from from one of the very first self-learning programs I went to, I was in my mid-20s, was that David the uh excuse me, the Dennis Whaitley quote.
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You know, he who seeks risk creates security.
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He who seeks security risks everything.
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Wow.
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And essentially, what essentially what that means is if you're not putting yourself out there, making those quantum leaps, trying new things, growing, expanding, developing yourself, you're gonna end up in a you know a place where you have regrets because you didn't do those things.
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So um I think that you know, having the faith and your ability to articulate your dream life 30 years from now is one of the most common components to those who reach serenity.
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They have a vision.
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And um, very few people, you know, that's why people don't invest, by the way.
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They they they they they they can't see 10, 20, 30, 40 years down the road.
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And um, and the people who are the most successful have the ability to do that.
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Wow.
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Well, you know, um personally, you know, how about what are some of the practices and habits that you have utilized to uh cultivate serenity in your own life?
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You know, how do you consciously work at that to cultivate that feeling you want to have uh many years from now, a couple decades from now?
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Yeah, I I don't know, um I don't know where this came from, but but it must have been from a lot of the self-learning and and things I was exposed to in my 20s.
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But I've always had a deep-seated belief that if I do enough of the right things, enough of the time, over a long duration of time, great results happen.
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Okay.
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Doesn't mean it's happening next week, next month.
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It might not even be next year or two.
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Okay, but if I just keep at it ethically, morally, doing the things that you know are in viol are your set of inviolate principles and ethics, you know, it's what I call in my book your inner moral core.
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If you stick with that, um it can launch you to places that you you just couldn't imagine.
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It's um, you know, I think a lot of the serenity thing comes from the ability to do what's right in the face of adversity.
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Um, and I know I've mentioned this quote before again, the Booker T.
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Washington quote, you know, a lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right, and evil doesn't become good just because it's set accepted by a majority.
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I mean, your ability to have the tough conversations, your ability to stand up for your core beliefs and what you you know is right, um, again, are are those things that launch you to a different level than most people.
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You say you heard that back in your 20s.
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You know, you're you're you're telling me that something you heard back in your 20s resonated enough with you, strong enough that you are still living with that today.
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Not only living with it, it's it's proven itself out.
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It has absolutely 100% proven itself out.
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I mean, um, and and I think that for all of us, you know, again, if we go look at the the people that we consider having the most success, well-rounded, developed life in, you know, in the world that I call serenity, um, the they have those, they all did it the same way.
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They all you you get there the same way.
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I mean, it could be different categories, it could be different things.
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It doesn't necessarily mean you're you're you're a multimillionaire, because you know, the the effort, a worthy cause, I guess is the best way of putting it, spending your life on worthy causes, um, and always coming back to your principles, coming back to your morals and your ethics, um, and sticking by it in the in the toughest times, in the face of adversity, even if it means you stand alone, is is one of the critical junctions that I see in people that put them on a different level of internal um you know self-contentment.
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Jerry, that's so good.
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I mean, that is just such good stuff.
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You know, this would be a great time because when you talk about a worthy cause, this would be a great time to talk about what you call in your chapter the five horizons.
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The five horizons.
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And you identify that because each one of these horizons are an area where our listeners, no matter what their age, and because again, I sometimes I worry that talk about serenity uh really sounds like we're talking to people in their rocking chairs, and and that's not the case.
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You know, I want to make sure people know that the what they're doing today in their lives will pay compound interest.
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There's one of your financial terms for you, Jerry.
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Compound interest going forward to those days, later days.
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And uh, and here are your five, here are your five horizons.
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And these are good.
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And if you have a comment about any or each of these, it'd be great.
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The five are health, family, finances, profession, and faith.
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And again, you know, those are five areas, and we and I've seen it done with seven and four, and you know, everyone's got their own way of how to dice up life, but those are your five horizons.
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I'd love to hear a little bit about what you say about that.
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Well, I think that, you know, again, it it almost comes from a common sense perspective.
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Just uh I I approach everything and you know, again, from a place of how humans are built and human nature.
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And all of those categories um, you know, require, you know, a certain discipline, a resilience, um, a dedication, um, you know, things that um can produce in a weird way failures, right?
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And then from those failures in all those categories, you know, you you rebound, and you know, and like I always say, the comeback's always greater than the setback.
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And and you you build each one of those categories over time.
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And what I find with most people is is that um, I guess it's a good good point to make right now is that you know, we we talk about all the time about it's what you do now, it's the action now, it's you know, execute now.
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It's you know, you know, 10-year goal is ridiculous, right?
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I mean, and and it gets back to that thing where I talk about goals versus dreams.
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You know, goals are what you need to do to execute action, short-term actions.
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And I like short-term goals.
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I mean, I like I like hourly goals, daily goals, weekly, you know, but I mean, um, and and when you when you get out in the months and years, I call those dreams, right?
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The dreams have to be thought about.
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It's not something you execute today.
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You're gonna execute that short-term goal that 20 years from now is part of that dream, right?
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So all five of those categories need this broad vision.
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You know, what do my what does what do I want and what do my financial world look like 40, 50 years from now?
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How many children do I have?
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You know, how what what's what what am I doing in my marriage, you know, that's just gonna make it phenomenal, you know, and and what does my family look like, you know, and and and all these things, you know, have 10,000 variables to them, but it's like a dream, right?
00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:40.240
You want to envision this glorious world that you can create.
00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:46.240
And if you do it right, you will create it, and you'll end up in the place called Serenity.
00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:52.000
Jerry, you know, you've had a lot of impact on me in many different ways, but one of them has been health.
00:21:52.160 --> 00:22:12.400
And so, you know, the question if we're taking just one of these, one of these horizons, the health horizon, the question that someone should Should say to themselves, will my future self, will my 70 or 80-year-old or 60-year-old self thank me for the way I'm living today, health-wise?
00:22:13.359 --> 00:22:14.319
That's a great question.
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:22.960
And again, that's exactly what I'm talking about, you know, about questioning yourself about what do things look like, you know, way down the road.
00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:36.480
I mean, you know, at my age now, someone told me 30 years ago I'd look like I look physically, and I can uh, you know, perform like a 40-year-old in the gym and all these things, you know.
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:42.640
I mean, it it it was it was something I always saw, but didn't realize it could actually happen.
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:47.519
So again, you the reason people don't do it is because they don't think it's possible.
00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:52.160
But anything is possible over a long duration of time.
00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:57.680
And I think that health and wellness, you know, I don't like putting numbers on things because they're all important.
00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:06.480
But if there is one thing that affects every other aspect, it's health and wellness.
00:23:06.640 --> 00:23:15.039
I mean, I don't care if you're worth$100 million, if you're sick, you're overweight, you can't get out of bed, you know, what good is it?
00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:15.599
Right.
00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:23.359
And and, you know, and as we get older, the the financial part of it becomes less important anyways.
00:23:23.519 --> 00:23:36.319
It's all about the impact we have on other human beings and leadership skills with our family, and um, you know, being an example, you know, uh for what you can do to better the world.
00:23:36.480 --> 00:23:41.759
And by the way, the the number one thing you can do to better the world is just put another quality human being into the world.
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:45.279
And that means that means raising great children.
00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:45.839
Yeah.
00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:47.279
Wow, I love it.
00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:53.839
Um, you know, there's another little observation to make that's relevant to uh the timeline that we're talking about here.
00:23:54.000 --> 00:24:03.519
You know, most people spend the first half of their life chasing success, and the second half spent spend their life chasing peace.
00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:09.039
And uh, I think that what we have to really say to people today is those two things are related.
00:24:09.200 --> 00:24:10.079
They're connected.
00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:14.319
You know, they don't have to be enemies, those are one and the same thing.
00:24:14.559 --> 00:24:22.400
Chasing success, chasing peace, serenity, those are the same things, as long as we get our head head on straight.
00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:27.519
Yeah, exactly, because all the success is, again, what I said earlier, the residue.
00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:46.880
I mean, that that's that those are all the components that eventually will lead you to a great self-concept, confidence, peace of mind, contentment, you know, all the things that all of us want to feel um when we get older and and and knowing we did the best we could and we did the best we could for other people.
00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:47.680
Absolutely.
00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:55.839
You know, I I'm gonna read, I want to read one more of your quotes because this uh this hit me hit me so hard, but it's so true.
00:24:56.000 --> 00:25:01.039
And you because you brought up the comeback is always better than the setback, I'm gonna read this again.
00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:02.480
I had to look it up real quick.
00:25:02.640 --> 00:25:12.319
So I discovered that my previous experiences to hell and back made me unbreakable.
00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:13.279
Right.
00:25:13.519 --> 00:25:27.359
And the context of that story was you were talking about when your son called you to tell you he had cancer and the fight that you put up, you know, the fight and the subsequent win that you all have enjoyed.
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:37.200
But in other words, instead of reducing you into a pile in a uh in a corner someplace, you are up for the fight, ready to go.
00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:42.960
And I think that's the big lesson people need to learn time and time and time again about failures.
00:25:43.359 --> 00:25:50.400
You know, I mean, failures are such an important part of our growth, and we're so afraid of them.
00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:54.000
We're so afraid of failure, but we shouldn't be.
00:25:54.079 --> 00:25:58.160
It really helps forge who we're gonna be going forward.
00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:10.079
Yeah, I mean, uh fear, fear and lack of courage and being risk-averse um is essentially the definition of the sheep population, which makes up most people.
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:27.279
You you have to, you know, um, and again, I I can't I can't tell you what makes people do this or don't do this, but I mean, um, if you're not willing to take a step into the unknown, your your results in life are going to be very limited.
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:36.000
I mean, I I
think there's a perception, I think there's a perception that super successful people, you know, take that step knowing what they're doing.
00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:38.000
And nothing could be further from the truth.
00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:39.440
I don't care who you want to talk about.
00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.160
I don't care, you can bring up Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk.
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:52.720
I every one of those guys took leaps, took risks of just unbelievable proportions, tried things that were just impossible.
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:57.839
And when they go wrong, it's just another way to figure out how to do it right.
00:26:58.000 --> 00:26:58.480
That's right.
00:26:58.720 --> 00:27:07.039
And and that is when you when you get in that mode, um, you know, the first the first few are gonna hurt, by the way.
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:13.839
I'm just letting you know, the first big failures you have are gonna hurt, and uh, and and you cannot become victim to that.
00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:16.400
You gotta just keep doing it, keep doing it, keep doing it.
00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:23.200
Because I always say, you know, like when it comes to business, I people always you know bring up, oh, how'd you start your first business?
00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:27.440
I say, well, you know, all you hear about are my successful businesses.
00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:29.440
What about the ones that didn't work?
00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:31.920
There's lots of those, right?
00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:39.680
And that's because um, you know, you can fail as many times as it takes.
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:42.160
You only need to be successful once.
00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:47.279
Because once that happens to you, you know how to do it, you could duplicate it.
00:27:47.519 --> 00:27:55.680
And um, you know, and I've had I've had major setbacks over the years, but I knew I I learned in my 20s how to make money, right?
00:27:55.839 --> 00:28:10.079
So, you know, once I learned how to make money, it it kind of every time I lost money, oh I well, you know, I might have, you know, sat in the corner and cried for a month, but after that I came back, you know, okay, well, I've done this before, I know how to do it, and let's just do it again.
00:28:10.240 --> 00:28:10.480
Right.
00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:11.359
So, you know.
00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:12.799
And you know what?
00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:16.480
I mean, we could go all the way back to the very beginning of our podcast.
00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:26.559
I mean, that is the lesson I want people to know is that once you learn how to do this, once you learn how to be successful, doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down, you do it again.
00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:27.359
You do it again.
00:28:27.839 --> 00:28:30.559
So it's funny you mentioned your businesses that no one's ever heard of.
00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:35.200
Jerry, this past week, I had the occasion to count up my businesses.
00:28:35.279 --> 00:28:46.880
Now, let me just tell you,
from from the very start through right now, because you know, right now I have three new, I'm gonna call them projects on my desk, but they're gonna be business.
00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:47.839
12.
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:49.920
I've had 12 businesses.
00:28:50.079 --> 00:28:54.319
Now, you you you and I probably only know about three or four of them, okay?
00:28:54.480 --> 00:29:00.640
But I mean, I've had one that was amazing right up to the part of start, and then I killed it, you know.
00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:11.599
So, I mean, I've had some that had failure to launch, but 12 times I've had these pretty major initiatives that have gone forward, and I'm so excited about them, I can hardly stand it.
00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:13.599
I mean, I just I love it.
00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:19.119
I I don't know if it is if it's the right time, uh I don't know if it's the right time to tell my story or not, Jerry.
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:21.039
Matter of fact, let's get back to Serenity.
00:29:21.200 --> 00:29:22.480
Let's get back to Serenity.
00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:35.119
Okay, so you know, um, again, you I I say you save the best to last by writing Serenity as your final chapter, but how do you see all the other chapters in Run with the Cheetahs?
00:29:35.279 --> 00:29:41.599
How do they all play and combine and add up to the chapter on serenity?
00:29:41.680 --> 00:29:43.200
How does it all work together?
00:29:43.599 --> 00:29:48.480
It's a broad, very broad concept serenity.
00:29:48.720 --> 00:30:00.240
And you know, life, life is a complex mix of experiences over time, and all the chapters cover that duration of experiences over time.
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:11.039
You know, I talk about from your childhood to your first, you know, to to when you get launched with something and and the setbacks and the failures and how you handle them all and all the different chapters.
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:21.119
But, you know, getting back to the risk thing, you know, the chapters I think explain clearly the more risk you take, the more experiences of learning you're going to gain.
00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:34.880
And without the phases and seasons of you know, of what life brings you, both good and bad, um, I've for me personally, I would have never been able to reach the extraordinary life I have today.
00:30:35.039 --> 00:30:50.400
Um, you know, and and although all the chapters are important, I believe the two chapters related to this serenity thing that people really need to dig into are dreamstealers, people who escape.
00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:55.680
That's part of the dream stealers chapter, and embrace the battle.
00:30:55.839 --> 00:31:10.720
Um, if you get a clear understanding of the concepts in those two chapters, it's it's going to be a lot easier for you to get that vision and faith of to plan for the you know serenity later in life.
00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:12.559
Jerry, all these chapters are good.
00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:13.839
I have to remind you.
00:31:14.079 --> 00:31:19.759
I have to remind you when we were doing the audiobook, you did the audio book, and then we did a little bonus content.
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:23.440
Every time we would do a chapter, I would say, oh, that's my favorite chapter.
00:31:23.680 --> 00:31:24.480
I love that.
00:31:25.359 --> 00:31:28.000
Every one of these chapters are so good.
00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:30.799
I mean, there's it's got such good stuff in it.
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:34.880
Um, let's talk about you and your personal legacy.
00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:46.559
I mean, I know, listen, I know your kids, I know a couple of them more than the other ones, but uh what role does serenity play in the life you hope you've lived?
00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:50.160
Well, again, it's an evolving situation.
00:31:50.640 --> 00:32:03.279
And I I'm at a point now where I can feel it, I can see it, but it doesn't mean that all of a sudden, you know, you stop everything you're doing.
00:32:03.440 --> 00:32:08.960
I mean, uh, you continue to evolve and continue to to make those things grow.
00:32:09.119 --> 00:32:18.160
Um, but um, like I said before, you know, serenity is not an individual achievement or an individual goal.
00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:23.359
It's the it's the residue of a lifetime's goals and achievements.
00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:32.400
Okay, and all that's happened in my life is I've done enough positive things to where I've developed that inner sense of peace.
00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:45.839
Um, and I want to be careful how I say this because you know, I I know that this is the way people feel when they have the feeling of serenity, and it it almost can sound like you're conceited or something.
00:32:46.160 --> 00:32:51.759
But part of it is that you evolve to like know you're right.
00:32:52.720 --> 00:33:15.039
Okay, now I I I don't know if you understand what that means, but you you have a feeling of a vi of of looking at the world, looking at society, looking at people, and like I know who I want to be around, I know who I want to have relationships with, and I know exactly what to avoid as well.
00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:19.039
I mean, through my experiences, I can sniff out a snake a mile away now.
00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:21.839
And I had a lot of exposure to snakes over the years.
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.720
So, you know, that that that's that's part of it.
00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:33.920
Um it's also it's an intangible, you know, it's an intangible that forms in your inner self from your thoughts and actions over decades of time.
00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:40.000
And uh time, time has reinforced my belief in the concept of serenity.
00:33:40.319 --> 00:33:47.519
Um, and watching my father's life, um, but my mother as well, you know, uh reinforces it.
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:50.319
Um, and you know, how much better can it get?
00:33:50.400 --> 00:34:00.400
You know, I I I couldn't answer that question, but I can guarantee you this I'm gonna continue to do the
extraordinary things in my life to enhance my inner peace and contentment all the time.
00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:16.800
Um, and uh, you know, at the very, very top of the list, and I, and again, this is another thing I've learned from talking to a lot of elderly people and watching them, that spouse of yours is the number one key component to that serenity in your life.
00:34:17.039 --> 00:34:33.119
I mean, there's no relationship, even your kids are not up at the level of what what how that relationship of building that empire with your spouse and you know, and doing that over, you know, decades and decades of time.
00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:39.440
Um and uh, you know, for me personally, I could not imagine.
00:34:39.599 --> 00:34:49.599
I literally I I it's like so far away from me living a life of regret and and acting like acting like part of the sheep population.
00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:51.920
Uh, just it's just not in the cards.
00:34:52.079 --> 00:34:54.559
And and and that come and that comes from the work.
00:34:54.880 --> 00:34:55.760
Comes from the work.
00:34:56.079 --> 00:34:58.400
And you are in the minority, my friend.
00:34:58.559 --> 00:34:59.679
You are in the minority.
00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:00.079
I know.
00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:01.760
Well, I know we're trying to do that.
00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:14.639
That's why we're that's why that's why we're doing this podcast, because people have to um get out of that comfort zone and do do like we say all the time, just do it anyways.
00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:16.719
Because it's hard.
00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:17.119
Yeah.
00:35:17.360 --> 00:35:27.360
Don't don't anybody tell don't let I don't know anybody, anybody that's ever gotten to a level of serenity and can say, oh man, that was an easy life.
00:35:27.519 --> 00:35:29.920
That went great, everything was perfect.
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:31.840
It just doesn't work that way.
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:32.400
Yeah.
00:35:32.719 --> 00:35:34.320
So I'll tell you how what I'm gonna say.
00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:41.360
I'm gonna say this after hearing all of that, you know, maybe serenity isn't something that we find at the end of life.
00:35:41.599 --> 00:35:45.280
Maybe we need to think about serenity as something we're building today.
00:35:45.519 --> 00:36:11.760
I mean, every healthy meal, every difficult conversation we're having with either a family member or a friend, every dollar we save or invest wisely, every act of integrity, every prayer, and every forgiveness, these are the things that contribute and build with compound interest to that life of serenity down the road.
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:13.679
So we should start today.
00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:18.719
We can we can literally start today building that life of the future.
00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:22.159
Yeah, I mean, that there's absolutely no doubt about that.
00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:27.519
And, you know, we're gonna um I think we discussed making this kind of a two-part podcast.
00:36:27.679
--> 00:36:42.559
We're gonna tie in serenity with regret, and we're gonna we're gonna get into the the next podcast discussing, you know, the other path of regret, which unfortunately that's where the majority of people land.
00:36:42.800 --> 00:36:49.519
So our goal is to get more people on the serenity path and get them off that regret path.
00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:59.360
And that was gonna be my next question was okay, we have talked about serenity and the advantages of serenity and the wonderfulness of serenity.
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:02.400
What keeps people from serenity?
00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:04.800
What's the obstacle to serenity?
00:37:04.880 --> 00:37:07.280
Now you just said it, but what is the obstacle?
00:37:07.599 --> 00:37:23.119
Part of it is, um, and we've said this about every topic we've discussed, is just awareness, knowledge, you know, um, and you know, every, you know, you hear all the gurus say, oh, everything is about action.
00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:26.960
Well, you can't take the action until you have some education, right?
00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:39.280
So there is a value to learning about a subject and studying it so that you can it get launched, hopefully, in the right direction.
00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:55.440
Now, it doesn't mean that you know you're not going to get off track and have to re-re-calculate and everything else, but um, I I think the number one reason people uh don't go down this path is the way society has us conform.
00:37:55.920 --> 00:38:02.239
We comply, we you know, you know, again, most most people who live a life of serenity, I call them rule breakers.
00:38:02.320 --> 00:38:04.159
I mean, they don't follow the same path.
00:38:04.239 --> 00:38:09.280
Yeah, you know, they they they do things differently and um and they're efficient.
00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:14.639
That's another characteristic of you know, people that that get this uh get to this level.
00:38:14.880 --> 00:38:22.960
It's also the um the way our human brains are about that wanting to have everything now, right?
00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:35.360
And again, it's another characteristic that faith factor of doing enough of the right things enough of the time over a long enough period of time is going to yield you know tremendous results for you in your life.
00:38:35.599 --> 00:38:37.840
So, you know, that that's another thing that holds people back.
00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:39.840
They they just can't see it.
00:38:40.079 --> 00:38:42.400
I mean, they just don't understand that.
00:38:42.719 --> 00:39:00.880
I mean, I I I personally know, just to give you an idea, I personally know people that, several people, not just one or two, several people that are my age or older, had great careers, made a bunch of money, and they're broke.
00:39:02.239 --> 00:39:18.320
And now again, I'm not saying that money is the all in all to serenity, but if you're 65, 70 years old and you don't have the means to take care of yourself, you become a burden to somebody else.
00:39:18.719 --> 00:39:21.760
And that's another big goal of mine.
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:30.960
I never want to be a burden to my children or or to anybody else or inflict my pain upon somebody else's situation in their life.
00:39:31.199 --> 00:39:55.119
So, you know, um it's it's having that vision, having the discipline to execute the long-term visions and actions that lead to serenity, while at the same time uh being obsessed with the short-term goals and executing to meet meet the immediate needs.
00:39:55.360 --> 00:40:09.920
But the the the more immediate needs, when I say immediate, you know, this year, next year, whatever, the more you're building in that in those windows, the the the um serenity part is is just slowly creeping up.
00:40:10.480 --> 00:40:14.719
You go climbing that ladder, you know, to where you put another notch in it.
00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:19.440
Oh, one more, one more thing on the way to serenity, one more thing on the way to serenity.
00:40:19.599 --> 00:40:24.719
And and that's family, you know, everything we said, faith, health, and wellness.
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:31.760
You know, every time, like people that go to the gym, you know, that have been doing it for 20, 30 years, go ask them.
00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:35.199
You know, why didn't why do I get why do you go to the gym?
00:40:35.440 --> 00:40:37.199
Nobody wants to go to the gym.
00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:38.559
I'm just knowing here, right?
00:40:38.880 --> 00:40:40.480
Okay, I've been doing this forever.
00:40:41.440 --> 00:40:42.719
My wife and I were just talking about this this morning.
00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:48.000
We went to the gym at six o'clock this morning, where I'm on the way to the gym, and and I just didn't feel that great today, you know.
00:40:48.159 --> 00:40:59.519
And and we were talking about, I said, yeah, but you know, the the the rest of the day is gonna be great because I followed through on my commitment to myself, right?
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:09.119
And you and and the more you more you commit and the more you uh follow through, and the more you get done, and the more you build, the more you're on that path to serenity.
00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:22.239
And and just one last thing, I know I'm going on and on here, but one last thing about this accountability, the more accountability you can take on and responsibility in life, the the quicker that path is.
00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:26.639
That's another another subject to uh to make sure you you you address.
00:41:26.960 --> 00:41:35.920
Well, you know, I really liked the very first part of that answer because I, as I kind of jumped in and said, you know, my answer to what is the obstacle is regret.
00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:40.320
We don't want to get to 60s and 70s and have regrets.
00:41:40.480 --> 00:41:56.239
Uh, but you you actually said awareness and education, which, yes, those are things we talk about all the time because they are core to just about every bit of human
growth we can have: awareness and education.
00:41:56.559 --> 00:42:03.199
So we did we're gonna do a two-part on this because part one was serenity, part two was on regret.
00:42:03.519 --> 00:42:06.960
I want to give you just a little tease on regret if I could.
00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:07.599
Sure.
00:42:07.840 --> 00:42:15.920
You know, we've talked about regrets in some of our earlier podcasts, and we articulated a whole list of what are the top things people regret.
00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:32.159
You know, there has been a lot of somewhat recent research, and in the newest research, and I'm actually quoting from Daniel Pink here, who has done an exhaustive study, in addition to all the normal things that you break down, he he has two categories.
00:42:32.320 --> 00:42:38.320
And I'm gonna mention these two categories right now as a tease, and we'll talk about them next time we get together.
00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:42.880
But the first one is people regret loss of connection.
00:42:43.679 --> 00:42:50.800
You know, they they've lost their connection with uh whether it's friends or in some cases, family members.
00:42:51.039 --> 00:43:03.440
Those relationships have not gone well, and some of the most joyous reunions, stories he tells, are when someone has reconnected with maybe an old college friend or a friend from high school.
00:43:03.679 --> 00:43:09.519
I know I've got coming up in August, I've got what we're calling a cousin reunion coming up.
00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:11.840
Now, this this is crazy.
00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:20.880
All of us cousins, and I've got about six or seven, have all lived in the DC metro area most of our lives.
00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:22.159
But you know what?
00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:31.519
That that river we call the Great Potomac Ocean has separated the Maryland people from the Virginia people, okay?
00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:36.880
And I haven't seen my Maryland cousins since you know a funeral, you know, 10 or 12 years ago.
00:43:36.960 --> 00:43:40.239
And that certainly wasn't an opportunity to reconnect very well.
00:43:40.400 --> 00:43:42.800
So we're actually getting together in early August.
00:43:42.960 --> 00:43:48.480
All of us are getting together, and so this loss of connection, we're trying to restore this a little bit.
00:43:48.639 --> 00:43:54.960
So loss of connection, and then number two, and boy, this is one we're gonna talk a lot about this, Jerry.
00:43:55.199 --> 00:43:58.320
And that is people who didn't live their own lives.
00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:04.320
People who feel like they they did not live out their true life.
00:44:05.360 --> 00:44:06.559
And boy, is that sad.
00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:07.840
That is so sad.
00:44:08.880 --> 00:44:09.679
My goodness.
00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:11.119
Well, okay, there we go.
00:44:11.199 --> 00:44:21.440
So, you know, we've had a big day on serenity, and let me again offer my condolences to you and your family for the loss of your father, a wonderful man, a great
man, a truly a great man.
00:44:21.599 --> 00:44:22.400
I love that guy.
00:44:23.199 --> 00:44:23.519
Thank you.
00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:26.159
So sorry, and I hope your mother's doing well, you know.
00:44:26.239 --> 00:44:27.599
I hope your mother's doing okay.
00:44:27.840 --> 00:44:29.760
Yeah, she's she's hanging in there.
00:44:29.920 --> 00:44:48.880
So we've talked about serenity, and we've talked about, you know, what's coming up in part two of this is we're gonna really delve into regret, living with, dealing with, and overcoming regret, because regret is something that we can use as like a warning light or on our dashboard.
00:44:48.960 --> 00:44:52.239
It's an indicator of some things that we can address today.
00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:56.400
We don't have to wait till we're 60, 70, and 80 to address regret.
00:44:56.559 --> 00:44:59.360
So, Jerry, you got any final words for us today?
00:44:59.760 --> 00:45:00.400
Sure, sure.
00:45:00.480 --> 00:45:02.400
Let me uh let me just wrap it up with this.
00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:09.280
You know, um, you have millions of choices to make, you know, and those choices are made every single day.
00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:32.960
I mean, it's just a constant decision of, you know, which path we're going, what you know, what angle we're taking, you know, and you know, you need to ask yourself, am I moving in the direction of a life filled with self-pity, guilt, hopelessness, despair, all leading to that life of regret that you just mentioned?
00:45:33.280 --> 00:45:43.760
Or am I making choices that will lead me to true joy, honor, contentment, and peace of mind, resulting in serenity?
00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:59.920
So, you know, as as you age and you get toward that final chapter, you know, up in your years, and as that approaches, the thing that I want to end this with is I'm gonna tell you nobody is coming to the rescue.
00:46:00.239 --> 00:46:05.440
So take accountability and make all those choices wisely, starting today.
00:46:05.679 --> 00:46:11.280
Well, Jerry, I'm gonna have to tell our editor that that needs to be both the opening and the closing.
00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:16.320
I mean, that was those are powerful words right there, my friend.
00:46:16.400 --> 00:46:17.599
That's good, good stuff.
00:46:17.840 --> 00:46:19.840
Jerry, I want to thank you for your time today.
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:28.320
I want to thank our listeners and uh please, friends, know how much it means to us that you watch and that you talk up and you talk to us through your comments.
00:46:28.480 --> 00:46:31.280
We appreciate and we try and answer every single one.
00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:38.079
I'd love to hear from some people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s about how they feel about a conversation about serenity.
00:46:38.239 --> 00:46:39.679
Is it too early for you?
00:46:39.840 --> 00:46:43.760
Or does it make sense that you start building your serenity today?
00:46:44.079 --> 00:46:44.960
Love to hear from you.
00:46:45.199 --> 00:46:49.039
Jerry, next time, buddy, we're talking about overcoming those regrets.
00:46:49.199 --> 00:46:50.239
You good with that?
00:46:50.480 --> 00:46:51.119
Absolutely.
00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:52.000
Look forward to it.
00:46:52.239 --> 00:46:52.800
Have a good one.
00:46:52.880 --> 00:46:53.519
I'll see you soon.
00:46:53.679 --> 00:46:54.400
All right, see ya.
00:46:54.559 --> 00:46:55.280
Goodbye.