Pełna transkrypcja odcinka This time next year challenge “check in”

into the blockbuster. 00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:33.680 No, everyone had a really hard journey, but they don't want to for some reason they don't want to talk about it. 00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:35.279 And I think we should a bit more often. 00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:38.399 And to talk about that journey, let's bring on Amy. 00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:46.399 Welcome back, Amy! It's so great to see you. 00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:48.480 It is so lovely to be back. 00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:52.639 I'm so glad and excited that you wanted me back again because you know I love a chat. 00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:54.800 Oh, and we want to check in on you. 00:04:54.879 --> 00:05:01.439 Now I have been following your Instagram, so I know you've been doing amazing, amazing things, and I can't wait to hear all about them. 00:05:01.600 --> 00:05:03.360 So let's just go straight in with this. 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:10.000 At the start of this year, and you can go back if you're just tuning in now, go and watch our previous show with Amy. 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:15.920 You said this time next year my life will be different, and today we're halfway through. 00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:20.319 So the question is is it getting there? 00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:22.399 And how is it getting there? 00:05:23.519 --> 00:05:28.240 It is getting there, um, but in a way that I feel like a lot of people wouldn't expect. 00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:28.560 Oh. 00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:34.560 Um, so I like to do something, as you know, we talked about it last time called the This Time Next Year Challenge. 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:40.720 It's about small, sustainable changes and doing one small positive action a day. 00:05:40.959 --> 00:05:53.120 I think a lot of the time on social media, the things that people really lean into are things like I doubled my income in three months, I lost 100 pounds in you know, six months. 00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:57.360 I've completely changed my entire life in 30 days. 00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:01.759 And we're drawn to those stories because we wish it was that simple. 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:07.600 And we we would love to wave a magic wand and see drastic overnight changes. 00:06:07.839 --> 00:06:13.839 But the changes in my life, while they have made an impact, they've been really small and they've been really subtle. 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:17.759 But that's the way I like it because that's what keeps it sustainable. 00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:19.759 Yes, absolutely. 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:27.759 And one thing I noticed on your Instagram, and I really respect you for doing this, is you you had a bad day. 00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:35.360 Yeah, and you and you you were really open and honest about that, and I think that's so important. 00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:47.439 So, do you mind sharing just uh I know I've I've got another question coming up, but do you mind just sharing a little bit about that and how it felt to share something that other people would hide? 00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:50.480 Yeah, I

think it's important. 00:06:51.040 --> 00:07:03.040 I think you know, when you the first thing you want to do when you're celebrating a big moment or you're hitting a milestone or you're out with your friends and your makeup looks fantastic, is pull out the camera and post that to social media. 00:07:03.199 --> 00:07:05.439 That feels very natural to us. 00:07:05.600 --> 00:07:17.759 Um, it doesn't feel so great when you are tired, you're irritated, you've had a bad morning, I had a headache because I've been crying, and I just wanted to be left alone, and I just wanted to feel sorry for myself. 00:07:17.839 --> 00:07:30.959 And I thought, no, this is actually a really good moment to share that even though in many aspects of my life I'm making progress, I genuinely am happier now than I have been probably ever in my adult life. 00:07:31.199 --> 00:07:45.600 That doesn't mean that every day is perfect, it doesn't mean that I don't have bad days, and I thought that that was a really good teaching moment as well, because previously, if I'd had a bad morning, I would want to write off the rest of the day and suck. 00:07:45.839 --> 00:07:56.560 But what I did was I said to myself, no, you're gonna get up and you're gonna do your one small positive action, even though I don't feel like doing it, even though I really just want to sit in bed instead. 00:07:56.800 --> 00:08:09.600 Um, and being able to show that to people in real time, I think is important because it's easy to say, oh, pull yourself up and you know, try and find a positive way to take back control of the day. 00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:18.319 But when you're actually modeling it for people and showing, like, hey, I don't want to do this, but I'm gonna do it anyway, makes people feel like, yeah, okay, I can do that too. 00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:18.800 Yes. 00:08:18.959 --> 00:08:24.079 And something that you said in that video, which I think was so important, is I'm gonna do this positive action and reclaim the day. 00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:32.879 It was such an inspiring and really sort of thought-provoking statement because it is I'm not gonna let this day rule me, I'm gonna reclaim it. 00:08:32.960 --> 00:08:34.399 I think that was absolutely brilliant. 00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:45.759 So I've got a this is a slightly off-kilter question, but I think it's something that a lot of people will resonate with this, and a lot of leaders that listen to this show will also resonate with it. 00:08:46.080 --> 00:08:50.320 Are you becoming the person you said you would be, or are you just staying busy? 00:08:50.480 --> 00:08:58.399 Now I suspect I know the answer from you, Amy, but what danger is there that people are just being busy? 00:08:58.559 --> 00:09:13.120 They're not actually changing anything fundamental, but what they're doing is they're, oh, I'm just doing this or this project or that project just to keep saying that I'm doing something, but it's not actually making the change in there. 00:09:14.240 --> 00:09:25.279 Yeah, I think that really speaks to the idea of toxic productivity as well, and the idea that you need to fill every moment of every day with something productive. 00:09:25.679 --> 00:09:33.360 And I think there's a really big difference between being productive with your time, quote unquote, and being intentional with your time. 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:37.360 And I always strive to be intentional with my time. 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:51.200 I once a month I will set aside a day and I call it my intentional rest day, where I lock it off, and the only, only outcome of that day is just to do whatever my brain and body need. 00:09:51.360 --> 00:09:54.399 And some days I'll think I really need to go out for a run. 00:09:54.559 --> 00:10:01.039 Some days I think I actually need to sit in my pajamas and watch Real Housewives for four hours and order a pizza. 00:10:01.200 --> 00:10:06.639 And there's no judgment because even though that's not productive, it is intentional. 00:10:06.720 --> 00:10:09.840 It's not accidentally doom scrolling for three hours. 00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:13.759 I'm saying to myself, no, this is what I want to do with that time. 00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:16.799 And I think there's a big distinction between those two things. 00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:23.600 Huge, absolutely huge, and also it is so easy to get into doom scrolling and go, oh no, I'm just resting. 00:10:23.919 --> 00:10:26.080 It's kind of like, no, I think you're distracting yourself. 00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:26.879 Very different. 00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:28.399 So no brilliant, I love it. 00:10:28.559 --> 00:10:29.200 Intentional rest. 00:10:29.360 --> 00:10:29.840 Yeah, I love it. 00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:31.679 I'm gonna use that phrase from now on. 00:10:31.759 --> 00:10:32.559 I do love that. 00:10:32.799 --> 00:10:35.279 So for you then, what does change actually look like? 00:10:35.600 --> 00:10:36.799 Now you're at the halfway point. 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:37.759 Yeah. 00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:47.440 Well, it feels it's funny because I was putting together a little YouTube video for this the other day, kind of my mid-year reflection. 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:52.559 Um, and the surprising thing about it is that I sat down and I thought, oh, do you know what? 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:55.600 I haven't really changed very much, I haven't really achieved very much. 00:10:55.759 --> 00:10:57.840 What the heck am I gonna say in this video? 00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:11.039 And then I went back through all of my, like I've got um a planner where I keep track of all of the things that I'm doing, and I went through my photos, my videos, and I was shocked at how much I'd actually achieved and what I'd done. 00:11:11.279 --> 00:11:19.600 And I think that really speaks to the fact that sometimes you can be so focused on looking forward that you forget to really think about how far you've come. 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:19.919 Yeah. 00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:25.600 So one

of the big things I realized was how massively my confidence has improved. 00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:34.799 That's one of the big things I wanted to work on this year is being more confident around new people, being more confident in public speaking, and just generally, I am an introvert. 00:11:34.879 --> 00:11:38.720 I am terrified most of the time when I'm talking to new people. 00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:57.600 Um, and just reflecting on, you know, how many new conversations I've started, how many new people I've introduced myself to, how many times I've got up on a microphone and spoken in front of a room full of people, and I thought, oh my gosh, I would have completely taken all of that for granted because you do it and then you move on. 00:11:57.840 --> 00:11:58.480 Yes. 00:11:58.720 --> 00:11:59.919 That sounds amazing. 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:08.000 And and I think as well, what I was thinking about when you were talking is because you've made little changes along the way, it's easy to go, oh yeah, I haven't really done anything. 00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:09.840 It's not till you go back and look at it. 00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:11.360 So wow, well done you. 00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:12.720 I think that's amazing. 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:17.279 So when you were beginning, then what were you confident about? 00:12:17.679 --> 00:12:20.799 Um, you know, looking forward, oh yeah, I could definitely do that. 00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:26.960 Um and was there anything that conversely you underestimated that you are really good at that you didn't think you would be? 00:12:27.039 --> 00:12:29.200 I mean, you touched on public speaking. 00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:39.679 So one of the things I knew that I would be good at the consistency aspect of was um working on my fitness. 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:46.720 That's something that I've been working on for the last few years, and I've kind of got finally to a point where it's ingrained. 00:12:46.960 --> 00:12:54.159 So then it was a case of saying, like, okay, where is the next big area going to be so I can build on top? 00:12:54.320 --> 00:13:05.840 I think a really important thing is to always be working in terms of like building a foundation of one thing, and then once you've got that nailed, move on to the next rather than trying to change a bunch of things at once. 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:10.320 Um, so yeah, this year's big challenge was working on my confidence. 00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:13.120 Like I said, I knew that was gonna be hard. 00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:17.919 Um, I knew that was gonna push me so far out of my comfort zone. 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:25.919 Um, but yeah, when I was reflecting on it the other day, I was quite surprised by how how far I've pushed myself this year. 00:13:26.080 --> 00:13:28.320 Yeah, I think that's really special. 00:13:28.559 --> 00:13:38.879 And so I would even say your process of change, of journaling, of recording it, of having all of that to look back on is actually really important. 00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:52.000 And so when people say, Oh, I don't have time to write a graphic journal, whatever, I that sometimes think it's helpful because you can look back on it and recognize, oh, I was thinking like this at the start of the year, and actually now I'm doing those things. 00:13:52.159 --> 00:13:53.840 So your process is fantastic too. 00:13:53.919 --> 00:13:55.120 So we're keeping you, Amy. 00:13:55.279 --> 00:14:00.320 We'll be back just after a clip from the last time Amy was on the show. 00:14:04.879 --> 00:14:15.440 I think a lot of content now that we see people putting out feels um aspirational in a way that is um it's almost makes you feel bad about yourself. 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:21.120 Like as if my life is supposed to be envied by other people who don't live that life. 00:14:21.279 --> 00:14:21.519 Yes. 00:14:21.679 --> 00:14:25.120 And it can make people feel really badly about themselves. 00:14:25.279 --> 00:14:28.960 And so I'm very much open, honest. 00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:33.679 I will, especially on my TikTok, sometimes I think, wow, that is a bad angle. 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:40.480 I've got no makeup on, I look like a hot mess, and I'm I've just had a panic attack in my car, but I'm gonna post it anyway because it's real. 00:14:40.720 --> 00:14:46.000 Because ultimately, my whole message is I am just an average girl. 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:48.080 I am just average. 00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:57.360 And anything that you see me do or accomplish, or anything that you see that I'm doing, and you think, oh, I'd love to be able to do that, you can because I have. 00:14:57.519 --> 00:14:59.279 And I am no different from you. 00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:02.639 So my lifestyle is very ordinary, very average. 00:15:02.799 --> 00:15:04.320 You know, I work a nine to five. 00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:09.679 If I can do this, so can anyone, and that's the message I want to get across. 00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:16.320 Welcome back to Mental Health Masses. 00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:21.039 We are here with Amy Rebecca, and we are checking in on her this time next year challenge. 00:15:21.120 --> 00:15:24.960 We are halfway through the year, it's been quite a year so far. 00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:32.639 So the first question now, Amy, is have you learned something about yourself over the last six months or so that's really surprised you? 00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:34.799 Or maybe more than one thing. 00:15:35.919 --> 00:15:39.759 Um, yeah, I've uh become brave somehow. 00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:42.799 I've become braver than I realized. 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:48.399 And when I had this moment, going back to what we were saying earlier about sometimes you don't notice how far you've come. 00:15:48.639 --> 00:16:01.840 I had a bit of a come to Jesus moment earlier in the year where alongside doing the this time next year challenge, I also, because I'm a glutton for punishment, I like to do one thing every year that absolutely terrifies me to my core.

00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:07.440 Because I think the more I can push myself out of my comfort zone, the bigger my comfort zone will become. 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:14.879 So this year, um, my dance teacher said, We've been invited to perform in a variety show. 00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:18.080 Now I've been going to this dance class with these same girls for years. 00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:29.120 I love it, but only because I've been going for years with these same girls who I know well, and there's no judgment, and no one is, you know, I'm not up on stage, no one's looking at me. 00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:30.159 That's fine. 00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:31.759 And I thought, you know what? 00:16:31.919 --> 00:16:33.679 Yes, sign me up, I'll do it. 00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:39.279 This can be my one scary thing of the year, and then immediately realized I wasn't afraid. 00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:53.519 I thought even standing backstage waiting to go on, I wasn't afraid, and I kept waiting for the fear to kick in, and it didn't, and it made me realize that this process is actually working. 00:16:53.679 --> 00:17:00.720 My comfort zone is getting bigger, and I've built up this resilience to things that would have terrified me in the past. 00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:03.279 And it was weird. 00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:06.079 It was weird how not scared I was. 00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:11.359 Oh no, I think that is wonderful because this is something we say as coaches all the time. 00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:15.839 You've got your comfort zone, which sits here, you've then got your stretch zone, which is the next bit. 00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:22.240 And actually, stretching, if you think about yoga or dance, it feels quite nice as long as you don't overstretch. 00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:22.480 Yeah. 00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:24.960 And then if you overstretch, you're in the panic zone. 00:17:25.119 --> 00:17:30.079 The panic zone's where you have accidents, things happen, it pushes you right back to your comfort zone. 00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:37.039 So you can't jump from I've never danced before in my life, into oh yeah, I'm gonna do a solo performance. 00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:38.480 It's not gonna work. 00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:49.440 However, if you've been pushing yourself and attending classes and being consistent and doing all the other stuff that is pushing you into the stretch zone, actually your comfort zone has now become your stretch zone. 00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:52.559 And so what would have panicked you before has become the stretch zone. 00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:53.440 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 00:17:53.599 --> 00:18:00.400 So I think you are a world walking example of that working in practice, and I think that's absolutely brilliant. 00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:00.880 It is. 00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:08.640 So just to flip it round, at any point did you get in your own way, and how if you did? 00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:27.039 I um always joke that the biggest obstacle in my life is me, but it's not

a joke, it is actually just true, and I think it's probably true for most people because I will make excuses, I will underestimate myself, I will procrastinate. 00:18:27.279 --> 00:18:39.359 Also, I recently learned that I have ADHD, which answers a lot of questions for me, but also means that I am, you know, an obstacle to myself in a whole plethora of ways. 00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:45.039 That's the average person who maybe isn't like putting my keys in the fridge, etc. 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:53.200 Um, so I think all of us can get in our own way, all of us can hold ourselves back. 00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:56.000 I I think that's just part of being human. 00:18:56.160 --> 00:18:59.839 And I don't know that we'll ever truly be able to get out of our own way. 00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:05.279 It's just about learning to um to know how to keep going. 00:19:05.519 --> 00:19:10.079 So, for example, I set bare minimum non-negotiables for myself. 00:19:10.319 --> 00:19:16.480 So if I say to myself, okay, I want to go to the gym five days a week, that's great, that's wonderful. 00:19:16.720 --> 00:19:24.319 But my bare minimum non-negotiable is that I will do some form of movement for 30 minutes for three days out of the week. 00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:24.559 Yeah. 00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:35.599 So even if I don't feel like my best self, or I don't have the energy, or I'm, you know, not feeling like I can commit to the full amount that I set for myself, at least I have that to fall back on. 00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:36.079 Yeah. 00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:37.920 Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. 00:19:38.079 --> 00:19:39.599 And it's more reasonable. 00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:52.720 Yes, and I think that is important because non-negotiables for ourselves is again, it's about your point about intentionality, it's about accountability, and it is about creating healthy habits. 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:59.680 And whilst we also talk about critical voice and things like that, actually, these non-negotiables are healthy for you. 00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:07.680 So sometimes I think we do have to have a word with ourselves, not in a, oh, you're useless, you're awful, but do you want this or not? 00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:08.079 Yeah. 00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:11.200 You will you need to have a strict word with yourself sometimes. 00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:12.640 So that's that's really helpful. 00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:20.079 Can I just add one thing I've found really helpful is I tell myself that I'm gonna go and get my second marshmallow. 00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:27.680 Because if you remember the experiment where they gave children one marshmallow and said, you can eat that now, or you can wait and have two. 00:20:27.839 --> 00:20:34.240 And I know that if I sit on my phone and I scroll on TikTok, that is immediate gratification. 00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:39.680 But if I get up and do something that is gonna make me feel better, that's gonna count for more. 00:20:39.839 --> 00:20:45.279 So I just say to myself, I have a little word and I say, Go get that second marshmallow girl, and that always gets me up. 00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:46.480 I love that. 00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.960 And sorry, that's fine. 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:55.680 It's just something that you said, which I read a piece of research on recently, which I think is really important because I noticed you do this. 00:20:55.839 --> 00:21:05.839 Um, there was a piece of research recently which said that um they put people isolated in a situation, and some really got through it fine. 00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:10.160 I mean, they weren't loving it, but some really couldn't cope with it at all. 00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:12.799 And what they noticed was the internal self-talk. 00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:15.839 You immediately said, go get that second marshmallow girl. 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:17.920 You talk to yourself in the third person. 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:25.359 That was the one differentiator that separated the ones who could cope, they talked to themselves in the third person from the ones who didn't. 00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:33.759 So if you're sitting there going, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, it's not as helpful as you can do it, you go get it. 00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:40.079 And the reason for that is because we when we talk to friends, we go, you can do it, you've got this. 00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:45.440 So it's our brain actually treating ourselves more kindly in the third person. 00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:59.279 And because you it's a natural thing that you're doing, but it's because I've just read this recently, and it's something that I do naturally as well, that it just I thought that's a really nice thing because everyone says, when I watch it, oh just tell yourself you can do it, and I can do it. 00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:03.119 No! It's not I've got this, you've got this. 00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:04.160 That is so interesting. 00:22:04.400 --> 00:22:05.200 It's interesting. 00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:06.880 Yeah, it really is. 00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:08.720 And it's just something you do so naturally. 00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:10.480 Yeah, you you literally do that. 00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:13.279 Whereas I would be either, oh, I did that. 00:22:13.359 --> 00:22:15.920 I'm really pleased with myself, or I'm so stupid. 00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:18.000 I would be the opposite. 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:21.119 So that's a lesson for people, me and people like me. 00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:22.000 Yeah, I love it. 00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:25.920 So try that because you're less likely also to say to yourself, You're so stupid. 00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:26.960 Exactly. 00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:29.119 You wouldn't say that to a friend, no. 00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:30.400 Sorry to interrupt. 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:31.680 No, I'm really glad you did. 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:32.799 That's really interesting. 00:22:33.039 --> 00:22:35.759 Yeah, and and you picked up on Amy's phrasing. 00:22:36.160 -->

00:22:36.400 Exactly. 00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:36.640 Yeah. 00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:37.359 Good for you. 00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:38.960 That's a really interesting point. 00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:40.720 So yeah, well done. 00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:50.640 Um, so are there any um old patterns or unwanted patterns that you've realized that you um are still repeating? 00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:56.240 Yeah, so I um underestimate myself constantly. 00:22:56.799 --> 00:23:04.880 It is something that I'm working on, and it almost feels like yeah, it's a pattern I keep repeating. 00:23:05.039 --> 00:23:08.319 That I show myself, oh wow, I'm capable of doing this thing. 00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:18.240 And then I go back to thinking the next obstacle I come up against, I think I could never do that, I could never apply for that job, I could never enter that pageant, I could never do this, I could never do that. 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:21.759 And I don't, I wonder where when does that end? 00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:28.880 Because no matter how many times I prove myself wrong, it's it feels like that voice keeps creeping in. 00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:35.119 And that's one of the things I'm really trying to battle with and overcome. 00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:40.640 Um, yeah, but it but that has been that has been a challenge. 00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:42.720 So it continues to be a challenge. 00:23:43.039 --> 00:23:50.000 And that's quite interesting because before, when you said you go, girl, you go and get, and then but now you're saying I could never do that. 00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:55.039 So maybe that's the difference, maybe that's the the phrasing that Audrey was talking about. 00:23:55.279 --> 00:24:07.759 And it might be, and this is only coming from other psychoanalysts that we've had on the show, it can be identifying whose voice that is, and if that is the voice of you 10 years ago or something like that, it's it's not your voice. 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:08.559 No, that's right. 00:24:08.799 --> 00:24:10.960 But it's there because we carry those things with us. 00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:15.759 But no, I mean, honestly, it's always so great talking with Amy because and it's so funny. 00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:35.279 One of our makeup artists she really wanted to stay and listen to you because she followed you on Instagram and she's on she's not going on holiday, so she had to rush off, but she was saying she's really gutted, she didn't get to think because you are so inspiring and you're so authentic with what you say, and we just need more of you. 00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:36.400 Absolutely. 00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:39.279 The world would be a much better place, absolutely. 00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:40.079 Yes. 00:24:40.559 --> 00:24:47.920 Um, so uh thinking about the last six months then, what have been your highs and lows from that time, would you say? 00:24:48.799 --> 00:24:52.319 I've had some pretty I've had some pretty good achievements actually. 00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:55.440 So um most of them last month. 00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:59.839 I don't I got to the end of last month and I thought, oh my goodness grief, how am I still standing? 00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:02.559 So I ran the race for life 10k. 00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:06.079 One of my goals for the year was to get back into running. 00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:08.079 Um so I did that. 00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:12.319 I did I didn't cry because the first time I ran a race, I did cry. 00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:16.880 I didn't cry and I I made it the whole way, so that was a success. 00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:17.599 Brilliant. 00:25:17.759 --> 00:25:22.720 Um, another goal I had for the year was to hip thrust 100 kilos, which I have done. 00:25:22.960 --> 00:25:27.039 Oh wow! I um yeah, I feel so strong. 00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:35.759 Although last week I did tear my quad muscle, which has set me back a little bit, but okay, we have uh again highs and lows, yeah. 00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:40.319 Um, and then also I came first runner up at Pageant Girl. 00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:44.319 Yes, uh, which was very exciting. 00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:53.039 Um but yeah, as well, just you you hear those kind of big things, those kind of like big ticket items. 00:25:53.200 --> 00:26:03.519 But really, a lot of the things I feel like I've accomplished in the last six months have been really slow, quiet moments of just little bits of joy. 00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:12.240 Like I started painting, I took up crochet again, um, just even finding time in the evening to sit with a book. 00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:26.400 It doesn't sound like anything major, but it is again going back to just having that intentional time of instead of being on my phone scrolling, taking time for myself, like that feels like a big win anytime I do that. 00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:31.599 Um, but yeah, there have also been lows, uh tearing my quad being one of them. 00:26:31.839 --> 00:26:39.119 But um, I'm also I've been made redundant, which has been a big setback to the plan. 00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:39.440 Yeah. 00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:44.559 But every time I tell people they do what you guys just did, which is like, oh no. 00:26:44.799 --> 00:26:49.440 And I'm like, yes, oh no, obviously, it's not, it's never nice to be made redundant. 00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:57.279 But also, I think through this process, I've realized that I can only focus on the things that I can control. 00:26:57.839 --> 00:27:01.039 I can't control that, but I can control what I do next. 00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:03.519 Yes, and that's empowering and it's exciting. 00:27:03.839 --> 00:27:05.119 Yes, absolutely right. 00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:13.759 And again, it's really helpful for other people to hear this because I think people do get caught in a bit of a slump. 00:27:13.839 --> 00:27:20.240 And actually, you know, things are difficult, but you've just got to focus on exactly like you say, control the controllables. 00:27:20.640 --> 00:27:27.759 Yeah, a friend a friend of mine

was made redundant recently as well, and I said, Oh no, and he's like, No, I've got six months paid garden leave, it's really good. 00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:30.240 Yeah, so you know, there's ways of looking at it. 00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:31.039 Yeah, exactly. 00:27:31.519 --> 00:27:36.400 Do what I need to do with that time, and and you've got the time to find out what it is you really want to do. 00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:36.960 Exactly. 00:27:37.200 --> 00:27:38.000 So I think yes. 00:27:38.319 --> 00:27:42.559 Sometimes you run into one job after another job and then think, why am I still here? 00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:43.359 Yeah. 00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:46.240 How have I ended up in this place? 00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:46.960 Exactly. 00:27:47.119 --> 00:27:50.240 Again, exactly. 00:27:50.480 --> 00:27:52.319 Oh gosh, Amy, it's it's great. 00:27:52.400 --> 00:27:57.279 We're gonna keep you and we will be back after a clip from the last time you were on the show. 00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:03.279 What what would have been most helpful? 00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:06.880 And if you don't mind me asking, what was unhelpful? 00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:14.160 I think when you are caught up in your problems and you feel it can feel very lonely. 00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:19.680 And I think the first thing that a lot of people want to say is, I know how you feel, or I have been there. 00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:32.000 And a lot of times that may be true in hindsight, you can look back and say, Oh, yes, lots of people experience very similar problems, but when you hear that in the moment, it's very annoying because you think, no, you don't. 00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:36.079 No one knows how I feel, no one understands what I'm going through. 00:28:36.319 --> 00:28:54.880 So I think instead just having someone hear you out and just give you the space to talk through what you're experiencing, and then you know, it is helpful to give advice, but it's not sometimes it does come across as condescending of, oh yeah, I've been there before, been there, done that. 00:28:55.039 --> 00:29:06.240 And so rather just giving someone who's going through a hard time, just give them the space to air out what they need to air, and then yes, give advice, but maybe just say something like, Do you know what? 00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:08.480 I know that you will feel better. 00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:18.000 Because that's the one, the number one thing that I was panicked about during the basement of rock bottom period of my life was this fear that I would never feel better again. 00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:21.680 And so all I needed to know was it's going to be okay. 00:29:21.839 --> 00:29:27.759 I didn't need anyone to tell me how or what to do or what, you know, exactly what that was gonna look like. 00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:32.160 Just I am here to listen to you, and you are going to be okay. 00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:33.279 I think that's enough. 00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:40.240 Welcome back to Mental Health Matters. 00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:41.519 We are here with Amy Rebecca. 00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:46.240 Now, last time we met her on the show, she set herself a this time next year challenge. 00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:53.519 And this is something a lot of us have been following and doing and thinking about, and that's really helped it's helped me think about things in a slightly different way. 00:29:53.680 --> 00:30:01.440 Not that I need it now, but what I'm doing now is making changes that I want to see in 12 months' time rather than seeing results immediately. 00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:04.559 So I know this this woman has changed my mindset. 00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:04.799 Yeah. 00:30:04.960 --> 00:30:06.960 And it's fabulous to chat with you. 00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:08.799 And let's talk about pageants. 00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:10.319 You did mention pageants. 00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:18.319 Um now, to some extent, they are about image and role modelling and and all of that, which is which is great. 00:30:18.559 --> 00:30:29.119 Um, but then let's look at the pressure to present in a way that's glamorous or expected, even when you don't feel like it. 00:30:29.279 --> 00:30:37.440 And so I know that you recently, we've talked about it earlier in the show, posted when you weren't feeling like it, you used it as a teaching example. 00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:42.960 Are there any other ways that you can present authentically in a healthy way? 00:30:43.519 --> 00:30:54.799 One of the challenges that have been made within pageantry over the last few years, I think, is uh kind of to focus less on image. 00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:58.880 Image is important in terms of showing up as your best self. 00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:09.279 Um, but it's not so much like it was back in the, you know, previously when it was about being as thin as you can be and a certain height and being, you know, all about your looks now. 00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:16.400 I think pageants are more so looking for someone with personality, with depth, who is truly doing work within her community. 00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:24.000 And I think those are great strides forward to be looking past the outer um presentation of someone. 00:31:24.960 --> 00:31:34.640 However, I found it going into pageants was one of those things I did to terrify me, my one terrifying thing of the year two years ago. 00:31:34.880 --> 00:31:41.599 And I walked into it with no concept of what pageantry looked like or what I was gonna be expected to do. 00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:53.359 I just knew that it was gonna force me to grow in some way, and I ended up falling in love with it because I realized it was a place where I could lean into my authentic self. 00:31:53.519 --> 00:32:08.559 Yeah, one of the challenges I think that I have had though is that in pageantry and especially on pageant weekend and when you're in the interview room, it almost feels to an extent like putting on your telephone voice. 00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:09.519 Yeah, I know what

you're saying. 00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:14.400 You know, when you're trying to be like, oh, and I am my best self right now, yeah. 00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:20.079 But it's kind of covering up a version of yourself to make yourself look better. 00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:20.480 Yeah. 00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:25.039 And this year I realized that there was no point in doing that. 00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:36.480 I didn't want to lean into someone else's version of what a pageant girl should be, of being more polished, or that I should, you know, try and speak differently. 00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:40.160 I am from a working class family in South Wales. 00:32:40.480 --> 00:32:45.440 I look different and I sound different, and I am different from a lot of pageant queens. 00:32:45.759 --> 00:32:52.000 But equally, we are all different, we are do all sound different, we all have different experiences. 00:32:52.319 --> 00:33:02.079 So, me trying to put on a telephone voice of almost a mask of what I thought a pageant queen should look like, it wasn't being my authentic self. 00:33:02.400 --> 00:33:16.160 So this year, when I went into the interview room, I decided that my goal was not gonna be to impress the judges, it was just gonna be to tell them about myself and what I had done and the things I was interested in as me. 00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:26.400 Yeah, a little bit chaotic, um, speaking too quickly, telling them I'm really sorry, but I am nervous to be here, and just being my authentic self. 00:33:26.559 --> 00:33:28.880 And I actually came first runner up. 00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:36.720 Yeah, so just goes to show that leaning into who you are and not trying to become a more polished version of that. 00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:38.960 Yes, that's really important. 00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:47.200 Yes, yes, and and again, as I say, congratulations on that because it is pageant girls, a huge pageant, that's a massive achievement. 00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:52.000 Yeah, and especially since you were so terrified of pageants just two years ago. 00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:52.960 Amazing. 00:33:53.359 --> 00:34:02.880 Which is it's it's it's really wonderful, and it again, I think that message about authenticity is really important because it can, and I see this actually. 00:34:03.119 --> 00:34:22.719 I think back when I was a drama teacher in secondary school, you would see young children put on an act in order so they could get the lead role or get them, and it's just that's not how it works, and that's a bad message to to have that you think you have because you effectively what you're telling yourself is I'm not good enough as I am. 00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:31.280 And I think the fact that you lean into that authenticity and actually put out the message, everyone is okay exactly as they are. 00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:32.159 You are enough. 00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:34.800 It is just the epitome of that, and that's just so important. 00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:36.559 It is, it's a brilliant message. 00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:47.519 So, with this, and with the fact that you have made yourself brave, that you have worked on your confidence, that you do enter pageants, that you do run 10Ks, all of it. 00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:52.880 Do or what do people assume of you that isn't true? 00:34:54.719 --> 00:34:57.760 People assume that I am different from them. 00:34:58.480 --> 00:35:17.519 Like people will say things to me all the time, like, I would love to do that, but I am not brave enough, I am not confident enough, I'm not as uh consistent as you, I'm not as motivated as you are, and I'm like, girl, I got ADHD and I have no consistency. 00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:20.079 I most days I don't know what day of the week it is. 00:35:20.239 --> 00:35:24.960 I'm terrified of most of the things that I'm doing, and I am making it up as I go along. 00:35:25.119 --> 00:35:28.880 So you, you know, people are looking at me as if I got it together. 00:35:29.119 --> 00:35:40.079 And the message above all else that I need everyone to know is that I am just an average person with no real idea of what I am doing. 00:35:40.239 --> 00:35:45.440 I am scared, I am figuring it out, I am building as I go. 00:35:45.760 --> 00:36:00.480 And when you look back at where I started when I first started the This Time Next Year challenge a few years ago, I was too afraid to leave the house because I was having such terrible panic attacks that every time I went outside the front door, it was too much for me. 00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:09.360 No, that wasn't an overnight transformation to go from being scared to, you know, get in my car and drive somewhere to then being in a pageant. 00:36:09.599 --> 00:36:13.440 That wasn't an overnight transformation, but it is possible. 00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:20.559 And it's not because I'm a superhuman person, it's not because I'm more confident than you, or I'm more skilled than you, or I'm more dedicated. 00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:23.440 It's just because I gave myself the time to do it. 00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:28.320 And I think a lot of people think unless it's happening immediately, it's never gonna happen. 00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:36.239 But if you give yourself the time, you can achieve a hundred percent, you can achieve any of the things that I've achieved and more. 00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:37.679 Yeah, exactly. 00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:46.960 And also it isn't something that happens to you, it's something that you make happen as well, which I think a lot of people don't necessarily feel or understand. 00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:54.000 Yeah, so you've mentioned both motivation and um consistency, which do you think is more important? 00:36:56.639 --> 00:36:57.679 Consistency. 00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:09.199 I mean, motivation is like, you know, when you're in your 20s and you have that one friend who's like a really good time, but she'll text you five minutes before brunch and be like, sorry, can't make it today. 00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:12.400 Like

motivation is so flaky. 00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:16.480 Yeah, it's like when you've got it, it's great, but it's not gonna show up for you every day. 00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:23.039 Yeah, so being able to find ways to be consistent is really what's gonna make a difference. 00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:24.239 And that is hard. 00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:27.760 That's a skill, again, that you're not gonna build overnight. 00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:33.599 Um, but just that's why I always say just do one small positive action a day. 00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:45.920 Don't feel like you need to be out here running a mile, walking 10,000 steps, reading a book, you know, drinking six glasses of water, doing it all every day. 00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:53.360 If you can do one positive thing for yourself every day, then at the end of the year you've done 365 positive things. 00:37:53.679 --> 00:38:00.320 And quite frankly, I think for the average person, that is achievable, it's sustainable, and it is gonna have an impact. 00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:01.440 Yeah, agreed. 00:38:01.760 --> 00:38:02.159 Exactly. 00:38:02.320 --> 00:38:03.679 When when you put it like that. 00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:06.000 And it's funny because I thought you were gonna say the opposite. 00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:07.920 I thought you were gonna say motivation. 00:38:08.079 --> 00:38:11.840 So yeah, but not but explaining it, yeah, absolutely. 00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:15.039 You're right about all of the reasons why it's consistency. 00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:19.360 It's consistency, and the other word you mentioned, Amy, is intentionality. 00:38:19.679 --> 00:38:25.679 Yes, yeah, it's making those active choices, yeah, again, reclaiming actively living life. 00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:27.920 It makes such a difference, I think. 00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:31.920 And they're all positive vocabulary, yeah, exactly. 00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:34.480 Oh, this has been I I could talk to you all day. 00:38:34.719 --> 00:38:35.519 It's been amazing. 00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:36.559 Absolutely. 00:38:36.800 --> 00:38:39.679 Where can we learn more about you and where can we follow you? 00:38:40.719 --> 00:38:51.440 So I'm on Instagram and TikTok, and it's it's it's underscore Amy Rebecca, and then on YouTube, I'm just Amy Rebecca, and I'm there all the time. 00:38:52.400 --> 00:38:52.880 Amazing. 00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:53.679 Please follow her. 00:38:53.760 --> 00:38:54.639 We all follow her. 00:38:54.960 --> 00:38:56.880 She is absolutely incredible. 00:38:57.039 --> 00:39:01.119 Thank you so much for joining us, Amy, and let's head over to Test the Trend. 00:39:06.400 --> 00:39:09.679 For today's test the trend, I want you to do this with me. 00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:13.280 So Jude is going to demonstrate we're gonna do this together. 00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:18.320 Um, I would like you to think uh your answer to the following prompt. 00:39:18.639 --> 00:39:23.360 Six months ago, I thought I would be dot dot dot. 00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:28.719 Or I believed six months ago that success would look like dot dot dot. 00:39:28.880 --> 00:39:30.960 So, what's your dot dot dot? 00:39:31.920 --> 00:39:33.039 Oh gosh. 00:39:33.280 --> 00:39:34.239 Uh there's two. 00:39:34.719 --> 00:39:35.920 Uh shall I just choose one? 00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:36.400 Yeah. 00:39:36.639 --> 00:39:41.360 Okay, six months ago I thought I would be lighter than I am now. 00:39:41.519 --> 00:39:43.599 I'm being quite honest. 00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:47.119 I thought I'd I'd have lost much more weight than I have. 00:39:47.440 --> 00:39:49.440 Okay, um what is the current reality? 00:39:49.519 --> 00:39:50.320 So that's the first weight. 00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:51.760 So six months ago, dot dot dot. 00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:52.000 Yeah. 00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:53.760 Now, but what is the current reality? 00:39:53.920 --> 00:39:55.199 Right now, actually. 00:39:56.079 --> 00:39:58.800 So I've lost a stone, which is fantastic. 00:39:59.280 --> 00:40:01.360 It's it's going in the right direction. 00:40:01.760 --> 00:40:03.119 It's not as much as I wanted. 00:40:03.360 --> 00:40:04.559 That's the reality. 00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:14.960 But also the reality is that um working with a nutritionist, she says to me, Yes, but you're making really positive changes inside that you can't see. 00:40:15.280 --> 00:40:17.440 The weight loss is incidental. 00:40:17.840 --> 00:40:21.519 So I've stopped focusing on the weight loss and focusing on the health. 00:40:21.679 --> 00:40:23.519 So that's the current situation. 00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:28.480 And also, we're talking, you've got another six months if you want to do the year challenge. 00:40:29.039 --> 00:40:31.519 It it's so easy to get into the immediate immediate. 00:40:31.840 --> 00:40:33.199 So six months ago now. 00:40:33.360 --> 00:40:38.000 So now the next question is what have you struggled with? 00:40:39.440 --> 00:40:44.800 Um the uh exercise side of things. 00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:45.119 Okay. 00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:47.280 Finding time to exercise. 00:40:47.760 --> 00:40:54.159 So maybe you add that in, and it might be that might be the magic sort of ingredient that I need. 00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:56.000 So now we've had that. 00:40:56.079 --> 00:41:10.159 So six months ago I thought, right now my life is, or what's happening at the moment, and what was the problem that you struggled with, because that might pinpoint where the gap between reality and the hope was. 00:41:10.320 --> 00:41:10.480 Yeah. 00:41:10.719 --> 00:41:12.559 It might not, but it's just worth fixing. 00:41:12.960 --> 00:41:14.159 I think it probably is, yeah. 00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:26.079 Um so now let's look at, but if I'm completely honest, I am proud of um having made so many nutritional changes. 00:41:26.559 --> 00:41:31.199 There's loads that I've that I've done in the last six months that must be having an effect. 00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:32.639 So you're not consistent. 00:41:32.960 -->

00:41:34.800 And I I've been absolutely consistent. 00:41:35.199 --> 00:41:35.760 Brilliant. 00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:45.760 If I'm honest, I am disappointed that I or in or that I haven't been able to throw my whole water about and buy, you know, four type four sizes smaller. 00:41:46.239 --> 00:41:53.440 I am disappointed with that, but hopefully that will come in another six months or another year, even that's fine. 00:41:53.679 --> 00:42:05.280 And so with all of that in mind, one thing I can change or add to the changes that I've already made that's easy for me to do is exercise. 00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:07.280 That's what I'm gonna do as well. 00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:14.480 Because also, um listening to Amy 30 minutes three times a week, that's doable for anybody. 00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:15.920 Yeah, it's it is doable. 00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:17.840 Yeah, have a word with myself. 00:42:18.639 --> 00:42:21.760 But again, it's the having a word with yourself in the appropriate way. 00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:22.239 Yeah. 00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:30.000 It's maybe focus on uh when do I do I want to achieve this goal faster, therefore I will be consistent with this intention. 00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:39.599 Um but the point is we sometimes have to check in with ourselves because it might have even been that your goals have changed, in which case that's okay as well. 00:42:39.920 --> 00:42:48.400 But if we don't keep checking in, not checking in as in the I must have had all of these achievements, yeah, but just am I still on the track I wanted to be on? 00:42:48.719 --> 00:42:50.719 Because if you're not, that's okay. 00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:54.559 So check in with yourselves, and if your goals have changed, that's great. 00:42:54.719 --> 00:43:09.679 Set yourself some new ones, but also check in with the reality of things, and that means asking more probing questions than just oh, I'm disappointed I didn't get whatever, which is what we do tend to focus on if we haven't achieved the goal. 00:43:14.639 --> 00:43:17.920 Oh, as always, Amy is incredible. 00:43:18.159 --> 00:43:20.400 Yeah, that's a good word for Amy. 00:43:20.719 --> 00:43:26.480 She's so good, but and also taking what she says, she is an ordinary person. 00:43:26.639 --> 00:43:36.079 Yeah, she isn't made differently, and I think what is important to take from that is consistency and intentionality, and anyone can make changes. 00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:37.360 Yeah, absolutely. 00:43:37.440 --> 00:43:56.719 And it's I think it's easy to put her on a pedestal, and you know, I I'm sure that a lot of people have because of just how she how she presents herself, she she is amazing, you know, she's a young woman, um, but what she's achieved is more than a lot of people have achieved, probably in their whole life. 00:43:56.800 --> 00:43:59.360 And um, but she is just ordinary. 00:43:59.840 --> 00:44:06.719 And what's quite interesting is are we putting her on a pedestal for our sake? 00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:09.920 As in, oh well, if she's up there, I can't do that. 00:44:10.800 --> 00:44:12.079 I can't do that. 00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:14.000 And I think some people do that. 00:44:14.239 --> 00:44:15.280 I think maybe, yeah. 00:44:15.519 --> 00:44:28.320 You know, we actually treat people in a way unfairly by not recognizing all the things she's been through, just because we are thinking, oh, I I don't have the consistency and I don't want the intentionality. 00:44:29.119 --> 00:44:33.840 So you mean so almost like she's acting for them, so they're living vicariously. 00:44:34.159 --> 00:44:36.880 Well, no, if she's special, then of course I can't do it. 00:44:37.119 --> 00:44:37.679 Oh, I see. 00:44:37.920 --> 00:44:42.880 Whereas actually saying no, she's not special, she's just consistent and intentional. 00:44:43.119 --> 00:44:44.159 Oh god, I can do that. 00:44:44.559 --> 00:44:46.960 So leave no excuse for for everybody. 00:44:47.360 --> 00:44:49.679 Yeah, maybe that's what I wonder with people. 00:44:50.079 --> 00:44:50.880 That happens as well. 00:44:51.199 --> 00:44:56.159 Or whether that happens not necessarily with Amy, but with people that you watch or you follow or you look at. 00:44:56.320 --> 00:45:03.679 Because the point is they will have all started from okay, admittedly, some people have an advantage financially and those sorts of things. 00:45:03.920 --> 00:45:04.079 Yeah. 00:45:04.239 --> 00:45:05.519 Amy's a working class girl. 00:45:05.599 --> 00:45:05.760 Yeah. 00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:08.960 So that's actually a different, you can't use that with Amy. 00:45:09.280 --> 00:45:12.159 But on the whole, people still have to just put the work in. 00:45:12.400 --> 00:45:14.079 It's the hard work, isn't it? 00:45:14.320 --> 00:45:15.440 And yeah, you're right. 00:45:15.519 --> 00:45:20.559 If some people think, oh well, she's got that privileged position, or I'll never. 00:45:20.800 --> 00:45:21.519 Yeah, exactly. 00:45:21.599 --> 00:45:22.400 So why bother? 00:45:22.559 --> 00:45:24.880 Yeah, that's a really good point, which I never thought of. 00:45:25.199 --> 00:45:26.639 So we'll leave you thinking about that. 00:45:26.800 --> 00:45:31.440 If you want to make the changes in your life, think about it on a longer term plan. 00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:38.239 Make those changes consistently and intentionally, and every single day. 00:45:38.400 --> 00:45:39.840 Make sure it's just something small. 00:45:39.920 --> 00:45:45.199 You're not looking for results now, you're looking for results in a year's time, and have a healthy week.