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Well, hello, beautiful souls, and welcome back to Kali Talks Transformative Conversations.
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As you know, I'm Dr. Kali Christanti, and it's been a very interesting ride
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in the last couple weeks with having laryngitis, but now I actually am back and able to speak.
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Well, some people might go, really? Yeah, really, I am speaking again So, you know,
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I'm coming to you today with a very heavy heart, actually Having just lost a
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very dear colleague and friend,
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And honestly, in the wake of the news The theme of today's episode feels more urgent than And vital,
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than ever You know, we really need to,
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talk about something uncomfortable. We need to talk about the subtle,
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powerful, real-life conspiracy that is afoot in the world today.
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I'm talking about a conspiracy that is actively trying to waste your time,
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destroy your focus, and keep you stuck in the same spot year after year.
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And as a self-sabotage coach, I know this very well.
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I've, you know, actually, like other things, lived sabotaging myself.
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And now I know when I am, what to do, how to not.
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See, the thing is, it isn't about being paranoid.
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No. And this is actually, this is about being, as some people might say, awake.
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Okay, well, you know, you go to bed, you wake up, you're awake. But are we really?
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I have a very dear friend and mentor, John, who laid out this in a way that
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stopped me in my tracks, and I knew I had to share it with you.
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You see, because this is really part and parcel with loving on empty.
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If we don't do this, we're continually going to be empty.
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Because this This conspiracy, okay, is the very thing that keeps us from stepping into our full selves.
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It is the fuel that keeps us loving on empty.
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Right. Got it? Loving on empty.
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So let's begin with a hard reality check, because that's where healing actually begins.
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Now, the reality check we need to hear is, it's so easy to get into a groove,
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to find a comfort zone, even a painful one.
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But, you know, as humans, we are masters of self-sabotage.
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We always loop back to you know the subconscious,
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subconscious always wants a familiar subconscious wants things to be the same
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as it always has been since childhood and it always wants to keep you safe,
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and it also will do anything it can to keep that in your life the safety aspect
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and to keep things the same, because then it feels you still belong to the tribe.
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Right. The tribe. Well, when things are finally working, right,
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the temptation to complicate things, you know, to complicate the hell out of it is irresistible.
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Yeah. Let's face it. Modern convenience. Oh my goodness. It is a blessing and a curse.
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Now, let's look at the blessing. Technology does the drudgery for us in a nanosecond.
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Well, for some people anyway, if they're using AI, I guess.
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But the curse is having been stripped of meaningful, necessary duties.
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Most folks have a way to destroy their brain cells.
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I see it. I see it. You see it.
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People do it. We do it. How many hours slip by in the numbing scroll of people
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who use TikTok? Or YouTube?
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Or Instagram? or Facebook, right? Or asking chat, GPT, trivial questions.
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Wasting time is practically an art form. Oh, it's fun and it's easy.
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But, and there is a but, the bill comes due.
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Yep, the bill will come due.
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And do you know what happens when the bill comes due?
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We gotta pay. Now, here is the reality check that changed everything for me.
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You only get one ticket to this life. There is no do-over button.
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This is not like going to your hairstylist and saying, I want to,
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you know, change my hair.
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I want to change my identity by changing my look. No, we don't get a do-over button in life.
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If you don't change anything, the next five years are probably going to look
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like the last five years.
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And does that thought even make your skin crawl? Well, if the answer is yes,
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then it's time to start shaking things up, wouldn't you think?
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I mean, really, most of your limitations are self-inflicted,
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and a lot of it has to do with time.
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As in, how much time do you have left on this single precious ticket.
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Called life? How much? Well, we don't know because we live in a world of uncertainty, don't we?
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Load full transcript
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I mean, the only thing that's certain is uncertainty. It's the unknown.
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So how are you going to actually take and prioritize your future self?
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How? I want you to think about that. How are you going to prioritize your future self?
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Because if you are telling me, oh, Kali, you know, that you are not where you
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want to be in your relationship or your business, but you are spending four
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hours a night watching TV,
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numbing yourself with food or alcohol or marijuana or whatever your choice of numbing is.
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You know, it could be, I don't know, could be porn.
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It could be anything that numbs out what is painting you.
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And that's the only reason we do anything with regards to any sort of addiction,
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is because there's pain.
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So if you are doing this and scrolling
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for validation, then you are either delusional or you've given up.
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Yeah, you're either delusional or you've given up. There's only those two choices
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because you are the reason you are failing at the life you dream of.
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Success starts and ends with your own bad self.
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You see, there is an antidote, and that's called filling the brain tank.
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So, how do we break this conspiracy?
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How do we stop this self-sabotage and stop loving on empty?
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Well, I'm going to tell you right now, you do not do it by hustling.
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You do it by honoring your own life.
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I mean, instead of wasting time, I want you to make a commitment to spend your
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spare hours filling your own brain tank.
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And I don't mean more mindless entertainment.
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I mean, filling it with information, knowledge,
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skill sets, and insights that align with the person you are becoming,
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the person that you want to prioritize as your future self, right?
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And the non-negotiable part of this equation is a commitment to put what you
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learn into action immediately.
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You know, faith without works, faith without action is dead.
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You have to do this. You have to take action.
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And, you know, really, you will be truly astonished at what you can pull off
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when you put your mind to it.
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Now, okay. Some of you might be thinking, well, how does this,
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you know, kind of connect to loving on empty?
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How does this connect to loving on empty, Collie? Well, it's very simple.
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Loving on empty is what happens when your brain tank is empty of your own value.
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It's what happens when you have surrendered your time and your sense of self,
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to the conspiracy of modern distraction.
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When you are empty inside, you look for someone, right? A partner,
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a client, an audience to fill you up.
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When that person fails to meet your unrealistic expectations,
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you feel mystified. Like, you know, maybe you're waiting for this call that's not happening.
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But when you fill your own brain tank with real knowledge and real skills and real self-worth,
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you stop being needy you stop being a needy vessel begging to be filled,
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you become a powerful overflowing spring of value and you stop needing people
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other people to validate you,
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and you start to know your worth regardless of whether or not these people get
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back to you whether, you know.
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The promises are fulfilled or not.
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So let's do it. Let's commit to being masters of our own success arcs,
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not the engineers of our own demise.
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Come on, fill that brain tank.
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Yeah, fill your brain tank. Put it into action. Take action.
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And this is my call to you today.
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Take one step just one step one step to fill your tank right now and be so so
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gentle with yourself this week,
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we're all navigating a lot you're navigating a lot so please be gentle with
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yourself and until next time love and soul hugs to all of you bye for now.