TRANSKRYPCJA 🔗
WEBVTT
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Living with a chronic illness isn't always about warrior metaphors and beating the odds.
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Sometimes it's just about figuring out how to exist when your body feels like a glitchy operating system.
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This podcast explores the messy middle ground of disability, the grief of the former self, the absurdity of medical gaslighting, and the dark humor found in the waiting room.
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Today I have a very special guest and I'm so excited to have her here.
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It's the badass with a badass, the one, the only.
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Hello.
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What's up, girl?
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So excited.
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I didn't know I was gonna get that kind of intro.
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Oh my goodness, that was so sweet.
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I had to write that because I was thinking back to when I did some of the walkouts with you.
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Huh?
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And you were working our asses out hard.
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The ass is my favorite.
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Like, if you're not working your booty, then why are we here?
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I'm just kidding.
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Well, you know what though?
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I've been thinking about that recently.
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I've been on this like whole weight loss journey since lag last August.
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And I was looking in the mirror the other day and I'm like, I've lost all this weight.
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I've lost 68 pounds.
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I feel so good in my skin again, but I have no butt.
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It's like flat.
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There's no butt there.
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And I was like, shit, I need to start doing this stuff again.
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Girl, there, you know, the lunges, the curtzies, the bulgaria, they're all there for you.
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Anytime you need them, you just a little bit at a time.
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Just add them back in.
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You'll have your booty back in no time.
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I know.
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I was so focused on the stop eating so much, stop eating all the snacks, stop drinking my calories and start moving my butt more and getting cardio.
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And that's all I was focusing on.
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And now I'm like, and those are great focuses, you know, those are great to like get into alignment, how you want to feel, and then add in the juice, right?
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So you're on the exact right track.
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You good, girl.
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You're on the exact right track.
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It's totally okay.
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Yeah.
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Good.
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Because I'm looking at my muscles going, do I have any?
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Yeah, yeah.
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Definitely get that muscle going, girl.
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Pump it up.
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So I need you to just keep posting stories because it motivates me.
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And every time I see you, I'm like, okay, I gotta do this again.
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I gotta get, I gotta get in there.
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You got it.
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I will keep posting my ass on my stories.
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Perfect.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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So, okay.
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For people that don't know who you are, because you're more than just the badass with a badass.
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Do you mind starting out by telling us a little bit of your backstory, a little bit about who Live Lou is?
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Yes.
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I guess I'm getting my whole spiel.
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So I'm Live Lou, owner of Move to Live.
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I create adaptable movement for the chronically badass.
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My purpose and my goal is to always create safe environments for people to sink in into a movement practice that honors their goals, but also honors the invisible experience that they have, whether that be chronic illness, autoimmune conditions, mental health hurdles, so on and so forth.
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I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at age four.
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I guess that's juvenile idiopathic, but that is such a mouthful.
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I'm like, it's already, honey.
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It's whatever.
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Like exactly.
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It's so I was diagnosed at four years old, and then I was diagnosed with uveitis, which is less heard of.
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I always tell people, it's arthritis in the eyeball.
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Not exactly it, but that's essentially some inflammation in the eye when I was eight.
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And so growing up with that gave me just a lot of empathy and a like a scope on movement that I feel is unique to me.
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And just it helped me get into the mindset that movement is so powerful, and it's a way to tap into your pain and how pain can become power.
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And that's it.
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That's me.
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Yeah, I live in San Francisco.
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I run my business from my home.
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I have a sweet studio that I'm so grateful to have here in this city.
Load full transcript
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Yeah, and and I you and I met, oh my gosh, years and years ago because we all hopped onto Instagram to feel less alone.
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And there was a time where I did a lot of advocacy videos and injection videos because I am on a biologic injection.
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And that that really introduced me to you and Allie and all these other queens.
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And I'm just so grateful.
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Me too.
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And I, you know, I didn't think that it would go where it has gone doing it all these years.
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I don't know about you.
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And I it has been interesting to just kind of watch how we all fluctuate and sometimes kind of change how we post and what we post about.
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But a lot of that I think has to do with our disease activity, where it's at, what our medications are.
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I mean, it's just it's kind of like that ongoing roller coaster all the time.
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We're always changing.
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So, where do you feel like that's evolved for you over the years?
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Have you been able to stay with the same medication?
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Have you changed a lot?
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What's what's been working for you?
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I love that you're saying like it all kind of depends on where we are in our journey because I know I've post, I don't really post anymore.
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I've kind of de-centered my RA in a way.
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And I owe that to Embril.
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I've been on the same biologic, fortunately, for eight, 19 years.
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That's a long time to be on the same medication.
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And I like am so blessed and so lucky to be able to say that the same medication has worked for me.
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Like, obviously, like I still have flare-ups, I still go through bouts here and there.
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There has been questions regarding my eye whether or not I should switch to Humira or other medications, but it never got so bad that they pushed, that they nudged me over the edge.
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So yeah, it's it's really worked for me, but it's not just the medication, it's also how I show up in life.
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And that's why I'm so glad like the subject we're talking about today is it I feel like it really resonates with where I'm at in my journey and as far as like decentering my RA and um it's a part of my big scope, but I've kind of taken it out of the limelight, like I've taken it out of the spotlight, I should say, and kind of put it up into my little collection of things that make me me.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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So my my movement practice is a huge part of why the embrel is still working as well.
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Strength training and mobility training is just like paramount into the complementary medicine that that I've been doing.
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So I love your word choices.
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I think you described it so well.
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Um to be on a medication for 19 years, that's incredible.
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The longest one I was on, I was on OTesla for seven years.
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I've been on methotrexate off and on since 2012.
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They just kind of bring it back every once in a while when I start to kind of have extra disease activity.
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In fact, I saw my rheumatologist, I think it was a week ago, and he's adding it back in.
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So I'm like, oh yay, I get to do shots again.
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Methotrexy, yay! Yeah, just in time.
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I know.
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I'm like, ooh, just in time for fall and winter, I get to be on two medications that lower my immune system.
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Yay! Yeah, I know.
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Don't let me cry.
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I'm actually waiting to take it.
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I'm not taking it yet.
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My grandson's coming to visit.
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We're picking him up next weekend, and we're gonna have him for like a week, week and a half.
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And I'm like, you know, he's if he's gonna break germs and he's gonna be doing things and no.
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See, I love that you say that because I think a lot of people don't know who haven't been doing this for as long or maybe newly diagnosed, they don't always know that they have a choice like that in the power over your own medication.
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Like, yes, a lot of us are dependent on the medication, but we're not locked in.
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You know your body better than anyone, so you know that you can say, I'm actually gonna start in two weeks instead of right now, like my doctor says I should or can.
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Right.
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I think that's I think that's brilliant.
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I think it's smart and it's a way to harness control in a very uncontrollable area of our life.
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Exactly.
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And I look at it this way they tell us to pause our medications anyway when we get sick or get an infection or have surgery.
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And so I'm looking at it the same way.
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If my grandson's coming to visit, it's okay if I stop taking my medicine for a little while.
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It's gonna give me that
extra chance of hopefully not getting nasty sick, you know, or if we're going somewhere and I'm gonna be flying, you know, what can I do to try to make that easier?
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And sometimes skipping a medicine and paying for it later.
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And you know, we do what we gotta do, we do what things we think works best for our individual circumstances.
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Absolutely.
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I love that.
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Okay, so we're gonna get on to the actual real questions now.
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So I I sent these to you ahead of time so you could kind of debate over them.
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But first one I wanted to start with is buddy, nunchak is looking to hell.
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You don't need to have a buzz.
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The extra pressure it gives us too.
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So the first part, my question is Did society label us as words or did we?
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I think it's both.
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I think it is both.
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I think it's gosh, it's so there's a lot of nuance here.
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And there's like two sides of the coin, right?
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So obviously, what I think is really sweet about labeling or utilizing the word warrior when it comes to people with disabilities and chronic illness and so on and so forth, is that there are so many times where we have to cancel plans or we can't do this, or we choose not to do that, or we have to hold back.
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And that can often be seen to people who don't know better as like they're like they seem weak or they're not strong.
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But when you call us warriors, you're seeing us in our strength.
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You see, you're like lifting us up and being like, Yes, you are faced with all of this, and yet you still show up, and yet you have a smile on your face, and yet, and yet, and yet.
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So, I I do think it's so beautiful and wonderful, and it's a great word.
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It's been one of my favorite words within the community.
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At the same time, I think, I mean, to this the second question of like what kind of I forget what the word you use, but hidden pressures.
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Hidden pressures.
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It's like you're so strong, and you're like, no, I feel I feel like I just got ran over by 10 trucks.
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You know, it it's kind of um, it's like it can lean into toxic positivity in moments.
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How is how is anybody supposed to fucking know?
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I don't know.
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We don't even know sometimes, but yeah, sometimes it can be be the pressure of this is a constant in our lives.
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So yeah, I'm a warrior.
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Yeah, and we're doing it because we have no other choice, yeah.
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And so sometimes the better answer or the better thing to do as an advocate or supporter is to not do anything at all and just like see that I'm normal too, and you know, use action instead of words, you know, play with love languages, not just center on the verbiage of like, you're a warrior, so you're so strong, you can do it, you can do it.
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It's like just shut up and feed me, like please, please.
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Yeah, just show up and give me some dinner, bring me a coffee or whatever.
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Yeah.
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Or just say, I see you.
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Yeah, want some comfort.
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You don't have to label what is happening for me.
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You can simply just see me because it is so nuanced.
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And I think sometimes when people want to label or want to give those encouraging words, they're almost wanting to fix the mood when there's nothing to be fixed.
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So it's so beautifully intentioned, especially when people are labeling themselves as warriors.
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I don't think I can say it.
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I don't think I could say it any better than you.
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I I find it interesting because depending on who we speak with, different people feel different about the word choices.
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Some people they want to be called a warrior, they take it as a compliment.
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They're like, Yeah, heck yeah, I'm badass.
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Compliment me on what and then other people are like, no, I'm not a warrior.
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I'm just trying to live.
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It's just about taking the time to be respectful.
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And we we can even ask people, this is something that bothers you.
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Because what way?
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Yeah, or like what is the way that you like to receive support?
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What would you like?
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Would you like just me to listen?
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And I think this is across the board for all humans.
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It doesn't matter if you're you have something going on or what.
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It's like your friend texts you a novel because they needed to vent.
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The the next step is to be like, do you need me to go off with feedback or do you need me to just hear you right now?
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Exactly.
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Sometimes we already know that about our friends and our loved ones, but if you don't, that is just
such a great go-to space.
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It's just ask.
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Because I think we all want to know the answer and have the answers for the people we care about and like do the right thing.
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But we used we put the pressure on ourselves to have to know what the right thing is.
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But if we don't actually know, then just act.
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Oh yeah.
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And sometimes I'll even say, I don't have the answers, I'm not even gonna pretend to, but I'm gonna I'm gonna listen to you vent all you want.
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And after people are right along with you, we can we can bash on whatever this topic is, you know, if it's dealing with prior authorizations or maybe somebody cut you off and almost ran you off the highway.
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I don't know.
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Those are bad examples, but but whatever.
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I they do happen, and I might not have the answers, but heck, if you want to complain about the insurance company, I'll complain with you.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Totally.
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And it sounds like if somebody really wants to show up for you, they show up with food.
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And that's that's awesome.
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Yeah.
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Food is uh, food is love.
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For me, it's coffee.
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Oh, yeah, that's true.
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Oh, where is my coffee?
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Oh my gosh.
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Oh well, it's gone.
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Well, and and another thought I was having about like kind of the other side of like people who do call themselves warriors.
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Like, let's take like the outside people out of the equation.
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But it's like, what is it to label yourself as a warrior?
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And then what does that come with?
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Um, because I do see, I mean, you do an incredible job.
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Ali does a incredible job, Ashley Nicole, like all these badass people who are constantly posting about symptoms, advocacy, groups, all of that, and something I used to do, it kind of does come with the pressure of having to kind of keep up with that, which is doing for others, which is a part of why we flare.
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And you'll notice, I think most of us will notice, that the more we show up for others and the less we show up for ourselves is the more our symptoms come to the forefront.
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It's also why I stop posting.
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I just can't, for me personally, I admire the hell out of all of you and anyone who's continuing to post because I know how much work it takes.
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I realized with all the just the work that I do because I meet with one-on-one clients, I'm like, I actually am without the capacity to go beyond that anymore.
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And my symptoms got better.
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And that's not to say that's the solution for everyone, it's just for me.
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And so I kind of took that warrior pressure off myself because part of being a warrior for me was speaking out for others and being an example and they're responding to DM after DM about, you know, injection advice, which I still do.
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It's just like a much smaller quantity, and that's something that I can handle.
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And I really love showing up for people in that way still.
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It's just a different at a different level and a different capacity.
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So yeah.
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How do you recognize that?
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Because I think a lot of people don't seem to pay attention to that and realize how it's a negatively affecting their health or even their mental health as well.
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And I definitely have noticed I ebb and flow how often I post.
00:15:27.840 --> 00:15:34.320
And you'll you can tell when I start to get burnt out or I if I'm just taking on too much, I'll suddenly just stop.
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:39.519
I might post stuff in my stories for a little bit, but I might even stop showing up in my stories too.
00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:43.519
And and that's usually when people get concerned because I'm super quiet.
00:15:43.679 --> 00:15:45.919
But sometimes I'm glad they get concerned.
00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:47.200
Yeah, we just need the time.
00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:48.559
Yeah.
00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:49.600
We just need the time.
00:15:49.919 --> 00:15:53.440
I can't show up for everybody and be it for everyone, and neither can you.
00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:54.639
None of us can.
00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:58.559
It it's a burden, and sometimes we don't think of it that way.
00:15:59.279 --> 00:16:02.080
Well, and that's the thing, you don't want it to become such a burden.
00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:04.960
You want it to be part of the passion project.
00:16:05.279 --> 00:16:19.200
And then once the scale starts to tip and you you gotta have the balance of what yes, I'm giving, but what is filling my cup every single week when I'm giving out this energy?
00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:21.759
Because it's not like there's no martyrdom here, right?
00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:23.600
It's not like, oh, I do this and I exhaust.
00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:26.000
No, it's just it's just something that happens.
00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:28.000
Like our exhaustion and our fatigue hits like that.
00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:31.840
And you're like, you were having so much fun, it was great posting, and then oh my god.
00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:33.039
Yep, overdone it again.
00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:40.879
I didn't realize it because it's just not the average rate at which people get exhausted.
00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:51.679
So, how how do you like speaking of while we're on this, like, I would love to know how you fill your cup while you are caring so much for your community?
00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:54.320
Sorry, that was an unplanned question.
00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:56.720
I know, but that's a good question.
00:16:57.919 --> 00:16:59.759
I I do a lot of self-care.
00:16:59.919 --> 00:17:01.679
I do a lot of self-care.
00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:04.960
And summers are all about so every single day.
00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:07.759
In fact, I'll be doing this as soon as we get off of this recording.
00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:13.200
I throw on my swimming suit and I go out into my yard and I lay down and I read.
00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:15.279
And I will probably do that for two hours.
00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:17.119
And this is like Yeah.
00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:22.880
So as long as the weather's good and it's only gonna be yesterday it was 74, so it wasn't that bad.
00:17:22.960 --> 00:17:24.799
I think it's gonna get to 78 today.
00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:26.400
That's perfect.
00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:27.119
Oh my god.
00:17:27.599 --> 00:17:27.920
Yeah.
00:17:28.160 --> 00:17:29.680
I wish I had a pool, but I don't.
00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:35.119
So sometimes I if I'm not reading, I turn on the Misters, or I'll take a break from reading and turn on the Misters.
00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:48.079
But I I give that to myself as often as I possibly can because just taking the time to read and dive into a really good juicy book and and kind of just let my my brain wander and relax and rest.
00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:49.759
It fills my cup so much.
00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:50.400
It really does.
00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:51.119
I love that.
00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:56.400
And when I'm not doing that, you know, I'm doing like all kinds of like stuff for my skin.
00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:57.680
I do a lot of skincare.
00:17:57.759 --> 00:18:00.559
I FaceTime my daughter and my grandson a lot.
00:18:00.799 --> 00:18:02.240
It's just stuff like that, you know.
00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:06.400
It's sometimes it's the little, little things that make us feel so good.
00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:07.359
It's true.
00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:15.920
It's I think sometimes when we get burnt out and we're really over things, we feel like we need like this big vacation or like a big break.
00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:20.720
But really, the all change is hard on can be hard on the nervous system.
00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:34.160
So it's almost like the little morsels that are more consistent are actually more rejuvenating and sustainable for us than saying I'm going, going, going, and then I cut, take a break, and then I'm right back in it.
00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:37.279
It's like, whoa, you're going, you're just getting whiplash.
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:38.799
But I just love that.
00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:40.000
And I I'm the same way.
00:18:40.079 --> 00:18:50.000
I've been reading a lot, and it's just those morsels that really let our brain kind of calm down and let us refocus and then come back to our passion project.
00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:52.160
So any good books that you recommend right now?
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:54.799
Girl, I'm I'm on my 17th book of the year.
00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:57.839
I'm reading Son of Achilles or sorry, Song of Achilles.
00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:00.559
Well, I read I did actually I did it as an audio book.
00:19:00.799 --> 00:19:06.559
It was good as like just in the beginning, and my friend, she I hope she listens to this.
00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:07.920
She'll be like, That's me.
00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:11.039
She described the writing as syrupy sweet.
00:19:11.119 --> 00:19:12.640
And I was like, Stop.
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:13.839
It is.
00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:16.319
It's it is just that.
00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:19.599
I've been deep in romanticy for sure.
00:19:19.839 --> 00:19:27.599
I read the whole Avatar series, I read the whole Empyrean, Fourth Wing, Iron Flame, Onyx Storm, waiting for the new books to come out.
00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:34.319
I read Quicksilver, I read Oh god, I'm like wolf fabe thingies.
00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:36.960
So I'm deep in it, girl.
00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:38.319
You like spicy books, right?
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:38.799
I do.
00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:41.599
I like spicy books, but like with a really solid plot.
00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:42.079
Okay.
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:44.400
Have you read any books by Megan Quinn?
00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:45.359
Megan no.
00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:46.880
Okay, I'm gonna send you a couple remote.
00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:48.240
Do I need to add the okay?
00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:51.759
Please do, please do, because this she goes into great detail.
00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:52.799
Perfect.
00:19:53.680 --> 00:19:55.839
Can you see why I'm laying out in the sun reading?
00:19:55.920 --> 00:20:06.480
Because I'm like, I'm reading all these like romancey summary books, and I'm out in the sun going, okay, everybody with uh autoimmune, a chronic, whatever, whatever you have going on.
00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:07.680
Romancy heals.
00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:09.359
Okay, romantic heals.
00:20:09.680 --> 00:20:11.440
Men written by women, heal.
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:13.680
Fucking the patriarchy, heals.
00:20:13.759 --> 00:20:14.799
I'm here for it.
00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:17.519
There's a reason why I'm on my 17th book of the year.
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:20.559
I mean, I know a lot of people who've read more, but like that's a lot for me.
00:20:20.799 --> 00:20:31.599
You know, I set out a goal for 25 and I just finished my 27th, but I'm I'm also like I stopped working a day job, and so I have this extra time.
00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:35.519
And whenever I go on these road trips to get my grandson, I'm
listening to audiobooks.
00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:38.240
So I'm usually reading a book and listening to a book.
00:20:38.319 --> 00:20:40.079
And so I'm going like boom, boom, boom.
00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:43.519
And so yeah, I just finished my 27th, but I'm also like an advantage.
00:20:43.680 --> 00:20:45.039
Oh yeah, girl.
00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:47.839
I there are worse things to be addicted to.
00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:48.400
Please.
00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:49.359
There are.
00:20:49.519 --> 00:20:49.920
There are.
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:53.920
I always tell my uh husband, at least, you know, I'm not concentrated on hookers and blow.
00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:55.920
That's like an ongoing joke in our family.
00:20:56.160 --> 00:20:58.400
The answer about everything is hookers and blow.
00:20:58.720 --> 00:21:00.160
You didn't see that one coming, did you?
00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:02.720
Let me just put this into perspective for you people.
00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:03.279
Come on.
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:07.519
So we have the hookers are these men in these books, okay?
00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:10.079
Cassian and Re-San.
00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:11.440
Have you heard of the game?
00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:12.640
The game of things?
00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:13.119
No.
00:21:13.359 --> 00:21:14.000
Okay, okay.
00:21:14.240 --> 00:21:21.759
So we have this game, it's called the Gaming of Things, and everyone has a piece of paper, and you're writing down answers to whatever this card is that's written.
00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:23.359
Or sometimes we'll make up our own.
00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:26.960
And so, say I pick up something and I'm like, things you wouldn't say to your mom.
00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:37.200
And so everybody an answer, and then you'd hand it to me, and I write down an answer too, and I'm gonna read them all out, and you have no idea who who wrote them down, and you have to guess everyone but me, the reader.
00:21:37.359 --> 00:21:42.319
And so it started becoming this joke that a lot of us would write down our answers as hookers and blow.
00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:52.400
And one time before my mother-in-law moved in with us, we were playing, and and she um we had multiple people say the same answer, hookers and blow, and we're all trying to figure it out.
00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:57.759
And lo and behold, she was one of my sweet, innocent mother-in-law said hookers and blow.
00:21:57.839 --> 00:21:58.559
So there you go.
00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:02.720
Mothers are So they are mothers and they are others.
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:10.319
So No, if you ever want to throw somebody off, just just say those words.
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:11.680
Hookers and blow.
00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:12.319
Yeah.
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:13.599
What do you want to do tonight?
00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:14.640
Hookers and blow.
00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:14.880
Yeah.
00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:15.839
My husband calls me up.
00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:17.279
What do you what do you want for dinner tonight?
00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:17.759
I don't know.
00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:19.279
Craving some hookers and blow.
00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:20.240
Episode name.
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:22.000
Hookers and blow and warriors.
00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:23.119
Yeah.
00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:24.160
Oh my gosh.
00:22:24.559 --> 00:22:25.119
Very good.
00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:26.079
Very good.
00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:30.160
I'm gonna try to back in because we could go so many different directions.
00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:30.559
Yeah.
00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:31.039
All right.
00:22:31.119 --> 00:22:32.319
So this is a big one.
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:39.119
How do you handle the days when you don't want to fight or even be inspiring, but just want to exist?
00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:40.480
We've all been there.
00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:42.240
How do I how do I do it?
00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:43.039
How do you handle it?
00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:44.880
How do I how do I handle it?
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:45.440
Ooh.
00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:51.359
You know, relieving myself of the pressure on social media has been a huge part of that.
00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:56.000
That was the start of me slowing down my posting.
00:22:56.240 --> 00:23:00.480
There was a while where I was posting for um, was it Health Beacon?
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:03.519
And I'm sorry if you hear Nunchuck drinking water.
00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:04.480
I don't hear anything.
00:23:04.559 --> 00:23:05.119
I feel like it.
00:23:05.279 --> 00:23:05.920
Okay, perfect.
00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:09.599
You know, there were videos you had to create and they were due by a certain date.
00:23:09.759 --> 00:23:14.000
And then there was this vibrator company that reached out and they were like, do a video.
00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:16.640
And at the time, I I had to email everyone.
00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:20.720
I was like, Liv, you really have to be honest with yourself and you need to ask for what you need.
00:23:20.880 --> 00:23:22.240
I said, I need more time.
00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:28.400
I'm going through X, Y, and Z, and I need to post on this date instead of this date.
00:23:28.640 --> 00:23:33.680
And so it's acknowledging what I need, like saying out loud, what does my body need?
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:35.920
What do I need right now?
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:41.839
Without giving a shit about what other people need, just for a moment, because we care a lot.
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:45.599
We obviously care very much about other people, almost too much sometimes.
00:23:45.759 --> 00:23:50.079
So there's that, and then and and then being like, Can I ask for it?
00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:50.720
Do I?
00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:52.480
Of course you can, but will I?
00:23:52.640 --> 00:23:56.480
Am I going to step out of my comfort zone and actually ask for what I need?
00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:00.720
Whether it's canceling plans, moving a due date, all of that.
00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:05.519
And that's something I've really been practicing over the
last four years.
00:24:05.759 --> 00:24:10.960
I've really finally come into actually I'm unable to do this.
00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:17.599
Is and here's the other kicker is sometimes I'll want to create an alternative.
00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:21.920
And I think, sorry, I'm totally going like off an ADHD tangent right now.
00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:22.559
That's okay.
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:26.000
Saying no or saying, hey, I'm actually unable to do this.
00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:28.480
Thank you, without providing an alternative.
00:24:28.640 --> 00:24:32.880
It's really hard in the world of people pleasing to not offer the plan B.
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:33.359
Right.
00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:41.440
Because it's still taking your energy and you still don't have all of a sudden, like, because you moved it, like means that all of a sudden you have time or energy for it?
00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:42.240
Absolutely not.
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:51.599
So that's just like, you know, tapping into what you need, how long you need it, are you willing to ask for it, and can you present it in a way that actually honors you?
00:24:51.839 --> 00:24:56.400
More often than not, it's gonna be you saying what you want and need, and period.
00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:56.880
Yep.
00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:57.200
Yep.
00:24:57.519 --> 00:25:13.759
And that is how I've been able to go about breaking my own people-pleasing cycle and breaking that cycle of only focusing on what other people care about, how it's gonna make them feel, and turning the attention to what I deserve.
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:15.039
I think that's crucial.
00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:27.039
And I don't know about you, but when I first started getting asked if I would participate in things, whether it be gifting me with something or offering payment for something, I always wanted to say yes to everything.
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:30.960
And it was like, oh my gosh, if I start saying no, will I still get asked?
00:25:31.119 --> 00:25:31.519
You know?
00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:32.319
Right.
00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:38.480
And so you're always, you know, when you're diving into this world, it's hard not to get afraid of turning things down.
00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:40.319
And so it's always can I make this work?
00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:41.039
Can I make this work?
00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:42.880
And then before you know it, you're overwhelmed.
00:25:43.039 --> 00:25:48.079
And finally, I had to recognize that if they want me that bad, they're gonna give me an extra week.
00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:49.039
It's okay to ask you.
00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:49.680
Absolutely.
00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:50.079
Yeah.
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:53.759
Especially a lot of these, they already know we have a chronic illness.
00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:57.119
So why wouldn't they be more open to giving us extra time?
00:25:57.359 --> 00:25:59.839
And if they're not, you might not want to work with them anyway.
00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:00.559
Exactly.
00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:01.200
Exactly.
00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:05.599
And still helping you align, align with your values almost.
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:11.119
Yeah, you know, and I'll I'll still get DMs from different various companies asking if I want to participate in something.
00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:12.720
And sometimes I'm like, what?
00:26:12.880 --> 00:26:14.720
I've gotten a lot for hearing aids.
00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:15.759
I hear just fine.
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:18.880
I'm I'm 46 years old, I hear just fine.
00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:20.799
In fact, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:25.359
I have like impeccable hearing, but I read one of them and it was like, even if it's for someone in your house.
00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:30.559
So I'm like, okay, so basically get my mother-in-law free hearing aids, and then I have to make a video about it.
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:34.319
And and I kind of debated it because I thought, okay, she really needs some hearing aids.
00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:42.079
But then I'm like, but then I have to like come up with this idea, have her participate in it, have her be okay with participating in it, be okay with it working.
00:26:42.160 --> 00:26:45.119
And I was like, no, this is just not the right fit for me.
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:57.680
And I want my followers to know that when they come to see something of mine that I'm sharing, that I'm sharing it because it's something I use, it's something I love, it's something I want to recommend, not something that I'm just like, okay, I'll try to make it work.
00:26:57.839 --> 00:26:58.000
No.
00:26:58.319 --> 00:26:59.039
Right, right.
00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:07.440
It yeah, like it if it's not organically something that you're excited about, I've never really understood just being like, cool, this product.
00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:07.759
Yeah.
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:11.119
Unless you really I can't fake excitement.
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:14.640
No, and I don't need a closet full of a bunch of junk I'm never gonna use.
00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:21.200
You know, if it's a heating package, an ice pack, compression wear, yes, all that I will gladly try out.
00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:23.359
I will love to see if it works for me.
00:27:23.440 --> 00:27:33.759
And I would definitely write if it if it does work for me, but be open to being okay with what I have to say, because if I don't like it, you might want to be okay with me saying that.
00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:35.279
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
00:27:35.519 --> 00:27:41.519
So no, I mean, it's like I was doing my virtual classes and, you know, I was also going through grief.
00:27:41.599 --> 00:27:49.599
And so all of a sudden, these virtual classes that I felt so excited about, so passionate about, they stopped feeding me in the same way.
00:27:49.759 --> 00:28:00.480
And I think part of learning to be and learning to fluctuate with yourself and what you need is also acknowledging that something that fed you once may not feed you
still.
00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:07.519
And that doesn't mean that you're any less than or you're not living up to something.
00:28:07.599 --> 00:28:10.160
It's that it's not serving you.
00:28:10.319 --> 00:28:14.799
It's this, it's the same thing as like, oh, I'm I'm I just can't keep up with my workouts.
00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:16.799
It's like, no, these workouts aren't fitting you.
00:28:16.960 --> 00:28:17.920
It's a reframe.
00:28:18.079 --> 00:28:26.960
And the moment I stopped doing, I was like, first of all, writing the email that said I'm no longer offering these classes took bricks off my shoulder.
00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:32.240
And then I got in the next six months, I got seven new private clients.
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:47.519
What I was not serving me, I vacated, I extracted that, and it made space for so much more that actually fed me, that allowed me to be in my purpose in the way I wanted to be.
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:52.319
And so, yeah, like to your point of like, I'm not losing any opportunities.
00:28:52.480 --> 00:29:01.920
It's just if this is meant for me, it will still be there when I'm when I have the energy to do it or when I can actually align with its needs.
00:29:02.160 --> 00:29:02.480
Yes.
00:29:02.640 --> 00:29:06.000
I and you know, I loved your virtual workouts, they were so much fun.
00:29:06.079 --> 00:29:11.279
But at the same time, like we needed to understand and be respectful of what you needed and why you needed it.
00:29:11.519 --> 00:29:16.799
And we all still cheer you on and support you, and we're all still attached to you know, we can't.
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:20.160
I feel so well because you are you're an amazing person.
00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:24.319
You have so much to offer the world, and it's not all about serving us.
00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:25.039
So thank you.
00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:26.640
We need to take care of you first.
00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:30.480
Priority is always you, it better always be you.
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:32.079
And same to you.
00:29:32.160 --> 00:29:36.960
I mean, I'm just so grateful that we all have this connection and can always keep in touch.
00:29:37.119 --> 00:29:40.720
Like anytime you send me a voice memo, I'm like, oh, we're just picking back up.
00:29:40.799 --> 00:29:41.359
It's sweet.
00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:42.400
Yeah, that's just first.
00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:43.680
I just want to be all new.
00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:47.680
Yeah, I do think about offering like a one-off class sometimes.
00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:49.680
I'm like, oh, that sounds fun.
00:29:51.119 --> 00:29:59.839
Maybe you could have it like be a special occasion or something and and offer like ask all your past people to come back for a fun day together.
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:01.039
Yeah, totally.
00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:04.079
Shaking our asses and doing something, I don't know.
00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:06.880
Hula hoops, whatever we want.
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:08.000
It's a free for all.
00:30:08.079
--> 00:30:08.720
Oh my gosh.
00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:16.559
Okay, what is a healthier, more realistic alternative to the beating the odds mindset?
00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:17.200
Whoa.
00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:23.359
Okay, can you for my brain, can you clarify what beating the odds mindset is?
00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:33.920
Like kind of so like maybe if I don't know if this is a good example, but maybe an example of like, say you had a doctor that said, Okay, so you might not be able to do this someday.
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:37.279
You might not be able to lift the weight, the weights with the way you want to someday.
00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:39.920
You might be able to not not be able to be a fitness coach.
00:30:40.079 --> 00:30:45.440
So, what is a healthier, realistic alternative to thinking about beating the odds on that?
00:30:45.599 --> 00:30:46.319
Or do you like that?
00:30:46.799 --> 00:30:50.319
I've honestly never like, I mean I never thought about it either.
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:56.160
I guess obviously done it because doctors have been like, well, stop planking, stop doing push-ups if your wrist hurt.
00:30:56.240 --> 00:30:57.119
And I'm like, no.
00:30:57.359 --> 00:30:58.240
Are you kidding me?
00:30:58.400 --> 00:31:01.440
I believe I mean knowledge is power.
00:31:01.599 --> 00:31:09.039
I think anyone with a body that speaks a lot more than the average, like our bodies talk a lot.
00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:12.160
And when I mean by talking is I mean pain, communication.
00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:13.359
Learn more about the body.
00:31:13.519 --> 00:31:16.559
Take a biology course, take an anatomy and physiology course.
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:19.920
If that is not your thing, I'm I love taking classes.
00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:20.640
I love learning.
00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:26.559
If that's not your jam, listen to a reputable podcast.
00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:29.440
I say that with so much force and love.
00:31:29.680 --> 00:31:34.240
Reputable podcast by actual doctors and professionals that are vetted.
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:36.480
Listen to women's health science.
00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:39.920
Also, get in with a physical therapist.
00:31:40.160 --> 00:31:48.319
Are doctors like I'm taking kind of the lead from like your example of like a doctor because I think that that is that's where we get our odds from, right?
00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:50.880
Is like doctors telling us what we can and cannot do.
00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:52.240
Talk to a physical therapist.
00:31:52.559 --> 00:32:00.480
I say physical therapist over personal trainer because, like, yeah, I'm a CPT, but like educationally, PTs are gonna know what the hell they're talking about.
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:17.519
And a plus would be a PT that also understands chronic conditions, and they can help you understand the mechanics of your body and the mechanics of like how your muscles and tendons work in relation to your bones and your joints and how your body stacks and what you can do
to strengthen this or that.
00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:27.200
Because the reality is like when we have pain in one area, there's so much strengthening we can do in other areas that would actually contribute to the well-being of said joint, right?
00:32:28.559 --> 00:32:36.480
Yeah, because for me, when a doctor's like, oh, your wrist is has had some flare-ups recently, you know, avoid the planks.
00:32:36.799 --> 00:32:50.079
To me, what I'm hearing is them kind of like covering their own ass instead of explaining to me, how can I actually strengthen the surrounding muscles to help my joint be stronger?
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:54.960
Or what I do in my training is we talk about form, right?
00:32:55.200 --> 00:32:58.880
Like a simple, you know, in a plank position.
00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:08.880
I come up, I put my hand in between at the center of the back, like where the traps are, and I go push into my hand, boom, that plank all of a sudden takes pressure off the wrist.
00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:09.920
And you're like, what?
00:33:10.240 --> 00:33:11.839
A doctor's not gonna tell you that.
00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:14.160
So, anyway, knowledge is power.
00:33:14.319 --> 00:33:31.119
Learn more, get in with movement professionals, physical therapists, occupational therapists, body workers who understand the mechanics of how your body works so that you can decide how to beat your own odds or because beating the odds blind is not beating the odds.
00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:32.160
That's just winging it.
00:33:32.319 --> 00:33:32.960
Yeah.
00:33:33.200 --> 00:33:37.119
And I'm sorry, but we can't just wing it when we have arthritis.
00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:50.960
No, no, you need to be able to understand why you're modifying so that when that modification is no longer needed, you can progress forward and then progress back and know when to progress back or sorry, modify back.
00:33:51.200 --> 00:33:51.440
Yeah.
00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:53.119
I like your answer.
00:33:53.599 --> 00:33:55.039
That's my long answer.
00:33:55.440 --> 00:33:57.200
I know, I saw my wheels turning.
00:33:57.359 --> 00:33:59.599
Okay, I have one last really important question for you.
00:33:59.759 --> 00:34:00.960
What does I know?
00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:02.319
So I'm looking at you.
00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:03.440
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:34:03.680 --> 00:34:07.279
What does broken but still breathing mean to you?
00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:09.519
Because we've all been there, we've all felt broken.
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:12.239
Like in the times where I've been the most broken.
00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:14.159
Up to you how you want to answer.
00:34:15.119 --> 00:34:15.599
I know.
00:34:15.760 --> 00:34:16.320
We're sorry.
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:17.519
I know.
00:34:18.320 --> 00:34:19.920
Don't don't apologize, don't apologize.
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:33.360
No, I think I think that's a really beautiful question because we, you know, I mean, personally, I've I've these last two and a half years have broken me all over again and rebuilt me.
00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:36.960
You think that you are healed, which you are.
00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:38.239
We all go through healing.
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:39.360
Life is cyclical.
00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:48.880
So we heal, and then there's a life event or adversity or a flare-up or whatever that comes in and just hits us like a tidal wave.
00:34:49.039 --> 00:35:00.480
And my Tita passing hit me like 50 tidal waves, brought up grief that I never processed from when my mom passed, what, 16 years ago?
00:35:00.719 --> 00:35:03.039
I for I don't know the number at this point.
00:35:03.280 --> 00:35:06.239
But that very thing set me free again.
00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:08.800
So broken but still breathing.
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:10.079
I'm getting passionate, girl.
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:12.320
Broken but still breathing.
00:35:13.039 --> 00:35:24.400
What I would say right here today is trusting the process, is like being in it and being broken and being like, yeah, I am at my worst and I am broken.
00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:39.039
I my heart is split, I'm in pain, whatever it is for the any person, but fuck, I am still breathing, which means ultimately I will come out the other side and I will be a different person.
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:46.239
I have to trust whatever is happening now so that I can trust who I am on the other side.
00:35:48.480 --> 00:35:49.360
I love that.
00:35:49.519 --> 00:35:51.920
And it actually got me thinking about something.
00:35:52.239 --> 00:36:02.559
So if we looked at ourselves like we were like a China class, you know, something that we weren't allowed to touch when we went to visit grandma, something precious in their home, like a China cup or something.
00:36:02.719 --> 00:36:05.920
Say it got shattered, but we tried to glue it all back together.
00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:10.000
We were that was broken, and it's got all that glue holding it together.
00:36:10.159 --> 00:36:18.719
And as we go through all these things that we deal with in our life, yeah, we've got the glue holding us together, but that doesn't mean we don't feel where those pieces are missing.
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:23.840
Those little slivers are gone and and there's no complete repair on that.
00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:26.000
And so we're always gonna feel it.
00:36:26.079 --> 00:36:28.559
And everyone around us has the same thing.
00:36:28.719 --> 00:36:43.840
And so I I look at people with a different eye now and I recognize that maybe someone at a grocery store, I I'm you know, picking up some milk and maybe they're not being that friendly, but I don't know what slivers are missing from their life and what glue is holding them together.
00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:44.320
Yeah.
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:48.800
And so maybe they're just broken and trying to hold it all together and they're just still breathing.
00:36:48.960 --> 00:36:49.119
Yeah.
00:36:49.280 --> 00:36:50.719
We'll have something that broke us.
00:36:50.880 --> 00:36:52.639
We might have many things broke us.
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:53.199
Yeah.
00:36:53.440 --> 00:37:03.119
Well, and that's why my practice, I for a while I was like, oh, fitness with chronic illness, and you know, i I changed my slogan so many times, it doesn't really matter.
00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:14.559
But it's it is really important that I include people who that they don't have to have had an autoimmune condition to be broken or affected in these tumultuous but beautiful ways.
00:37:14.719 --> 00:37:20.000
You know, it could be a broken leg or like one event that really just took them on a journey.
00:37:20.159 --> 00:37:29.920
And you talking about like the broken glass like makes me think of the uh Kinsuki, the like Japanese art of like repairing pottery with gold, like the powdered gold.
00:37:30.320 --> 00:37:31.280
Which I actually did a work.
00:37:31.679 --> 00:37:32.400
It's so beautiful.
00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:34.400
I actually did a workshop uh recently.
00:37:34.639 --> 00:37:43.280
And the way we did it, and obviously, like there's like a traditional way, and this is like the same day, you know, workshop where you can do everything in in a few hours.
00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:52.159
But what we did is once the glass broke, you could you didn't just put the things back together and then put the glue in and then put the gold on.
00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:54.880
You actually had to sand the edges.
00:37:54.960 --> 00:38:03.519
We had to spend like quite a bit of time sanding the edges down a little bit so that that gold could really shine through.
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:09.679
And it's just like such a beautiful analogy of how like you don't it's not that simple.
00:38:09.760 --> 00:38:13.920
You don't just put the pieces back together and throw smack it with glue.
00:38:14.159 --> 00:38:26.719
It takes work, it takes sanding, it takes patience and like whittling away day by day so that by the time all the pieces do come back together, that new piece of pottery, that gold can shine through.
00:38:27.199 --> 00:38:28.239
Girls, same to you.
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:30.000
I felt very exhausted.
00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:33.440
I I got my ass kicked this morning, but you brought me to life.
00:38:33.519 --> 00:38:34.079
So thank you.
00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:37.199
Yay! I was just so glad you did this with me.
00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:38.400
My gosh.
00:38:39.039 --> 00:38:40.800
Oh, well, thank you for including me.
00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:42.320
It was just so wonderful.
00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:52.159
I was telling someone that about like how I used to do a lot of interviews and speak out, and I haven't flexed this muscle in a while, and it honestly feels really good.
00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:56.400
So thank you for letting me like sit in that purpose and like sit in that light today.
00:38:56.559 --> 00:38:57.360
That was really special.
00:38:57.679 --> 00:38:58.000
Thank you.
00:38:58.079 --> 00:39:02.079
I'm just glad you were wanted to do it and and uh we got to sit down and chat.
00:39:02.159 --> 00:39:02.639
Oh yeah.
00:39:02.800 --> 00:39:06.800
Well, listeners, thanks for joining us and stay tuned for the next one, right?
00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:08.079
Woo boo.
00:39:08.559 --> 00:39:13.360
Woo woo! I'll uh have her Instagram in the show notes so you can check her out.
00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:15.119
But yeah, until next time.
00:39:15.440 --> 00:39:16.159
Love y'all.