Pełna transkrypcja odcinka Quantum Leaping Requires Building Nervous System and Body Safety - with Anna Grace

And so I went through quite a turbulent relationship with my ex-husband for about 15 years. And it was when I left him that was like choosing myself, so becoming who I Kait Tregenza: Hmm. Anna Grace: was really meant to be. But it wasn't until recently, so probably it was two years ago, that I had a non-epileptic seizure while driving. And there were a number of things that I suppose brought that on, but I was to learn that that was my true dark night of the soul. And I had to go through, you know, straight into the cave, it was a proper four month initiation into my health. But what that actually uncovered was so much more. So. the initial seizure was guiding me into the, I suppose, the medical field, but it was truly spiritually, I know that it was because I wasn't going to look deeper unless I was Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: given and gifted this time. So I can see that with lots of gratitude now that it was really hellish and it was really confronting. And I thought it would be something that I'd have the rest of my life. So. I was diagnosed with functional neurological disorder. I currently have no symptoms of that neurological disorder. And I'm, yeah, fully healed. I feel in a lot of areas. So like in my body, my mind, my emotions, my soul. And it's like, it took all that time to really dive under all the layers of why that actually showed up for me. So. I was doing my spiritual work. was in my business. I had left my, my relationship and I had met someone new. have this beautiful blended family now. And I, it's, you know, it was just like, I was going through all this huge transfer transformational events to get into. I felt was a, it was a higher, I suppose, point of, perhaps leadership in my business, but I was just still. in the throes of trauma of like PTSD and I didn't even realize, you know, I was just like heavily dissociating from that trauma. So my body just decided, well, no, Anna, you have to really face it and you have to go into that, yeah, deep into the fire and face that shadow. So that's why I liken it to an initiation because it's deep. physical human work but really under all of it, it was so I could be called to that that priestess version of myself of yeah being who I'm meant to be which is very light and positive and you know not having this density and weight of all of those things those past experiences that I had so. I did it and I faced it in terms of yeah, listening to this physical thing that was happening in my body. So after the seizure, I developed a tremor on my right side and it would just be, it was constant, constant movement in my body and really, really awful because no one could tell me what it was. And I actually thought I would, I had a brain tumor, right? Cause I was like, I can see, you know, as the movement and the lights were really triggering and having sensory sensory issues. And my mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor when she was, I think it was like 30, 39 and I'm 39. So this was two years

ago, but it was like, Oh my God, this is definitely happening to me. I have a, I have a problem in the part of my brain. And then the doctors will say, no, you don't have any hardware issues, right? So of course Kait Tregenza: You're back! You're back! You're back! Anna Grace: that's great. I'm thinking great, I don't have a brain tumor. I don't have epilepsy. But then they say, well, you know, this is a software issue and we can't really do anything about it. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: so many questions. Let me start with the one that's topped up mine. How did your mother experience her brain tumor? What was your witnessing of that like and how did, Anna Grace: Yeah, scary. Kait Tregenza: yeah, tell me. Anna Grace: We, so the first time that I experienced, well she had symptoms was we were at Chatswood Westfield and we were walking into Sportsgal and she was like, I can see flashing lights. Anna can you see those flashing lights? And I was like, no mum, I can't. She's I need to sit down. Kait Tregenza: how old were you? Anna Grace: Yeah, so I was 11 years old when she developed those initial symptoms and then it was very fast. So she went straight in, found out about the tumor, it was benign and she went straight into surgery. So yeah, it was very quick and scary, but at the same time, like we knew that if she got the tumor out, then there was no other treatment that she had to have. And of course she, now I think about it, my gosh, of course, she developed epilepsy after. so she, because it just was like pressing on a part of her brain that she would have seizures after. And I've never ever realized the connection there. But often we can repeat these patterns in our maternal lineage and we are here to face it, to understand it. I think I was very fortunate, only have one seizure, that that was just the start, but I didn't get any others. A lot of people with FND do have multiple seizures and it's when the neuro, I suppose signals, they're not being sent properly to the body. So that's what causes the seizure. And yeah, I did witness my mom having. a few epileptic seizures and you know the ambulance had to come one time. It's an awful thing to witness but she was able to get past that and heal that that she didn't have to be on any medication and yeah she definitely came out of it with a lot more perspective on life so kind of a lot of gratitude behind the journey that she experienced and and it did lead to a lot of big changes in her life yeah. Kait Tregenza: Do you or have you come to an understanding for your own self in your own life experiences about why this is the story that you're repeating? What is it for you? What's the gift here in this time? Anna Grace: Yes, well, so a lot of it was heavily attached to this PTSD that I was experiencing with my ex-husband. And so when I would witness his car or, you know, random things that I would, it would be a memory that would come back to me. And my physical body was in fear, was in, I think a lot of the the deeper work was like my gallbladder and all this like where anger, anger was really being held because of my treatment he there was a you know physical altercation there was a lot of fear that that my body felt so even though a lot of it was psychological it the body doesn't know the difference no Kait Tregenza: doesn't know it's bracing for that. Yeah. Anna Grace: yeah so I'd be like randomly walking in Kmart everything's perfectly fine and I would have a panic attack out of nowhere. was like, what is this about? And so, and you know, my hair was falling out. It was like, I'd have night sweats. I would have all these physical symptoms of PTSD, but I was just surviving, getting through, you know, a messy divorce and I met a new partner, which brought upon a lot of the difficulties because he didn't manage that well. of like I was allowed to meet someone new. He didn't really want me, but he didn't want me to meet anyone new either. So it was Kait Tregenza: Hmm. Anna Grace: like that control that, you know, how dare you have someone else other than me and very ego based of why he didn't want me to have, you know, a happy life with somebody else. Kait Tregenza: Was it a similar situation for your mother? Did she have a separation that brought her onto? And did your grandmother have, you know, is this going back and back and back? Anna Grace: yeah it's actually yeah it's really it's beautiful to kind of see the the links and the patterns but my mum left her husband after the brain tumour and that was Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: my stepdad so my mum my dad divorced when i was young and then she met someone new and it was actually the brain tumour that gave her that new lease on life of like i don't want to live a life that is not 100 % mine and you know I don't want to be with this individual anymore. Kait Tregenza: That's so powerful what you just said. So when you were in your darkest moment, here was the brain tumor that came that when you were a child, you saw this is the catalyst for optimizing your life. I need a brain tumor to live the person that I need to be. Anna Grace: Yeah, my gosh, isn't that so wild? And it was like these similarities when I didn't really see the similarities. Kait Tregenza: GUN! Anna Grace: I knew at the time, like, my God, I've got a brain tumor. Like that, even that, like, why did I really jump to that? Like I just had this random event in the car, but it was like that psyche remembers, right? It's like, I need this to be able to move past it. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: Well, because your child, yeah, that's right. Your child saw my mom started living who she wanted to be in her ultimate truth because of the gift of this brain tumor. She was like, life is short, activate. Like be her Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: now because you might not be here ever again. Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: And you in those darkest days were like, I just want to be who I am here to be. And your Anna Grace: Yes. Kait

Tregenza: brain's like, Would you like a brain tumor? Anna Grace: I know literally, like I will give to you this really crazy thing, but you, have to, to be able to live it, like to, actually, move past it because on the surface, I had left him, I had been through, the, the nitty gritty of like choosing myself, which felt tremendously hard. Like, I felt like I had already done it. Do you know what I mean? Kait Tregenza: Mm. Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: And it's like that dark night of the soul. It's like, yeah, that happened. That was a real hard time. I, yeah, I came into a new becoming of who I was, but it was like, no, there's like these other things that are deeper that you must face. That's the real shadow work I feel to truly embody who I was meant to be. This had to happen, yeah. Kait Tregenza: The way in which sometimes we go through these tests or these difficulties or these challenges is it's almost like we get a first pass at it and we're like, okay, we're going to do the best that we can. And then, It's almost like we build strength, we build resilience, we build capacity within the body to be stretched further, to be squeezed, to be contorted, to bring enough heat into the body. And I think for me, what I've learned is your body needs a lot of heat to make a massive change. Anna Grace: Yeah, yeah, I agree. I think it was safety as well to actually do that work because Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: I was deeply in that survival mode of I have to leave, I have to get out, I have to do Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: all these things and choose myself and looking out to my son. So it was like almost like I don't have time for that. So Kait Tregenza: Yep. Anna Grace: that capacity wasn't there, no. So I did all the things and kept busy surviving and often dissociating from the real trauma, just getting through it, right? But then Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: when I actually met my current partner, he was a real embodiment of the divine masculine, even though we've had lots of challenges, he was the only one that actually helped me to trust the masculine again. Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: And when he was there, that's what created the capacity to go further. Does Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: that make sense about like the safety in, in a way to bring on like the safety? Now you can have your neurological disorder. because you, you, you're going to be held. Kait Tregenza: 100%. You actually have enough capacity. You actually have enough capacity to go into this next level and you actually have the safety requirements. You have the structure and you have the scaffolding around that. And I think that's one of the things that we don't even talk a lot about the privilege of having safety in your life to have your life fall apart. in order to up level, in order to quantum leap, in order to do any of these things, the true transformational work, there is a level of privilege in that, whether that's nervous system privilege, whether that's body safety privilege, whether that's unconditional love source from somewhere, human or not, that you actually require in order to do transformational work. cannot... anyone who is in survival, just getting through the day, day by day. My focus is just get through to sunset. You're not transforming your life even if you want it to be different, right? You have no bandwidth. Your nervous system cannot even do that. And I think that's something I needed to learn for myself after my biggest rupture was the goal today is to build resilience and nervous system capacity. That's it. That's, and you have to like distill it down into today. I'm in surviving. I won't be here for forever, but I will be if I don't build nervous system capacity. If I don't build body safety, if I don't build an intimate relationship with myself and my own understanding of what I can do and what I can hold and how far I can stretch. You don't want to, you don't want to snap that rubber band. You want it to just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger. But if you go too quickly, too fast, and that's the really interesting thing about CPTSD or PTSD, is that there are no opportunities for this massive quantum leap anymore in the body. And so being kind to yourself and having the grace to say, this is all I can do today, and tomorrow I'll do a little bit more, I think is so hard for women. in a very flooded social media space of snap your fingers and your whole life is going to change in a quantum leap capacity. And the thing is that it can do that, but nobody talks about the very micro nothing that happens for maybe years before that point of takeoff. Anna Grace: Totally, and yeah, it can be years, right? And it's like, it's not instant. It's never really instant. It could be something like a real moment of that. You have to, like the trajectory changes, but it has been that build up all of that time. Yeah, I agree. think it is, I don't know. It's very, it's hard to articulate. what it actually is. But I think to have that cocoon of like, I essentially had four months of just being by myself was like, that's such a gift in itself. Like who really gets to have that? But it's really lonely. And it's like, that's all I did was nervous system work. Listening to my body, need to rest. I got a new puppy and I just sat there with her. Cuddled her and it was just, I don't know, it was just such a bizarre time that felt like, like so many years, you know, but it was really short. Kait Tregenza: In the scheme of your life, in the scheme of your lifetimes, it was a blip on the radar, right? But in the moment, it's like, my God, when will this end? Anna Grace: Yeah, yeah. And also the mental side of it is like, you know, this could be forever. So I couldn't just go in for a surgery and be, and take the tumor out. So in a way I felt very, it was, it was like, it was a mental game that I had to win because Kait Tregenza: Mmm. Anna Grace: when I actually trusted my body, the tremor is

coming back. because I have trauma stored in my body and I have to release it, I would welcome the tremor. I would go, please come into my body and I will release it. And it was when I was laying on the mat in yoga that I would be able to feel it. And the Savasana was when it would come out as well. And it's this trust of like my body sensations are here for me rather than... I'm gonna have this medical problem for the rest of my life. Yeah. And, you know, meeting other people that have also had chronic illness was, I think as part of it is like to know that you're not alone because I felt like no one else had had this before. And of course, since then, I've met many, many people that have been diagnosed or have friends of friends who have it. and it, you know, I didn't want to be perceived that I was having a mental breakdown, that it was just a mental disorder because it was physically in my body. had to have physio and Cairo and kinesiology and acupuncture. And it was all aspects of self, but yet blessing because it helped me as a Virgo. I'm very mentally driven. have Gemini moon. I'm very air orientated. I'm a lot of the time up here. So to actually go, Hey, like this body is really served you and you need to listen to it and you need to come back in to the embodiment of your work. This was like, yeah, life changing. Definitely. Kait Tregenza: It's so interesting to me when people talk about how to shift out of the intellectualization of trauma into the body work, because I am a triple air sign. And in human design, I'm a right angle cross of explanation. Literally everything that I do is about intellectualizing and explaining the intellectualization of what I know. And so when... When you say to a fish, what's it like to live in water? The fish goes, I don't know, it's fine. Like it's my life. Anna Grace: Yeah, this is just how I am. Kait Tregenza: This is just how I am. And so I think one of the things that was so fascinating for me and why I had to leave talk therapy was I could articulate with great precision and apply all these theories and apply all these really complex theories and pinpoint patterns and a pattern recognizer, know, like, you know, top of my field. Like that's what I did in venture capital. was like, I'm going to fucking spot the patterns and invest in what's going to come out like 10 years down the road. And, you know, with the value of time, I'm like, yeah, I know I was right. But that doesn't apply when you're working with yourself. You being right about knowing what's wrong with you doesn't change anything. And that Anna Grace: Yup. Kait Tregenza: has been so humbling. in this most Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: fundamental way of like, just because I know every nuance, every pattern, every aspect of my trauma and I can write like a library on it, that's not shifting it. That's not moving it. That's just looping in what I know. And I think that's the challenge for so many women who have been so conditioned to get rewards and outcomes based on what their mind produces and shifting that back into the body and shifting that back into, but how does your body feel and how does your, how do you react? You know, and I think that's how I've now applied my intellectualization of the situation of like, did you see? how that situation garnered a non-reaction in you and there's nothing happening in your body because of that external stimulus that came in. That's capacity. You're building capacity. Notice those patterns now. Use the pattern recognition to give the feedback that your body, you see where you got triggered by that and you see where that was in your body and you take two minutes, you don't have anything to do, do this at my... Cause I remember somebody said to me many, many years ago, if you can do Kegels in the shopping line, you can do, you can do somatic work when you're standing in line. It doesn't, Anna Grace: Yeah, exactly, in the moment. Kait Tregenza: you know, sorry, I just need to semantically move this, you know, complex trauma from my body in this moment while you're talking to me. I Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: mean, we could normalize that, right? Anna Grace: We definitely should. mean, definitely in my, in my quantum group, people would say that they meditate with their eyes open, like driving, right? It's Kait Tregenza: Yep. Yep. Anna Grace: like there, there are always that we can do these things, but whether we actually do it or not is, the difference. So it's that being the observer, but also just seeing like, I resonate so much with the patterns and seeing how everything interconnects and, you know, those loops it's like, we, yeah, we can do this all day. Right. We're so good at it. I trained as a counselor and I've never done talk therapy because I can't, I can't do it anymore. Like I just go, no, there's no, there's nothing going to be, there's no benefit. Yeah. So Kait Tregenza: Sorry, I've spoken all the words. Anna Grace: it's like, we've done all the things and I've done all the high achieving. It's like, this is where it's at is actually listening to the body. And it's like, sometimes the resistance that will come up in the physical body is just like. Yeah, it's crazy the amount of resistance we can have to do the quantum work, Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: to actually be in the embodiment of it. We were self-sabotaged like crazy ways. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: So before we get into your work, which I want to get into, but I want to loop back around to finish off the story. So you're now going through this yourself. You have a son that's watching you go through this. Do you have your mother watching you go through this as well? Anna Grace: yeah, definitely. And that makes me really emotional. But I don't think I've realized just as much how my mom was impacted until recently. I don't know why, but it was like one of those, you know, you come all the way around, the cycles, right? And she said to me, this is the anniversary of my

brain tumor Anna and I went no way is it really like today? She said yeah, it's always Good Friday I always think of it is how many years later now and I said well, this is that it's my anniversary as well. I remember Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: just my gosh. This is just so wild But she would have been very very worried particularly because you couldn't really Do anything to help me? Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: so That's what I mean by the, so much, so much trust that she had to kind of lead me to it as well. And, you know, I lost a lot of friends. I had my partner, but a lot of the time I just had to do it by myself. And I just, I don't know how else to explain it, but it was just like, so deeply alone, but Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: also. I secretly loved it. You know, was just like, just leave me to it. I know there's a process in underneath this and I know I'm going to come out of it. but no one could really do anything. but I, I definitely threw everything at it, but I also did it in a way that was, yeah, like it wasn't like to prove anything to anyone, but it was just like, just leave me to it. and trust that I will know what to do because now I'm actually listening. Like I'm truly listening and Kait Tregenza: Right. Anna Grace: I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna do the things that I need to do and... Kait Tregenza: It's such a fascinating story, though, that you and your mother shared the same dates, shared the same age, that you both witnessed each other going through your own processes. I don't know if the Good Friday is an auspicious date in your life or in your family unit, but that might have significance as well. And I think one of the things that starts Because you talked about anger that you've had to process as well. And knowing that you received an aspect or your entire karmic gifting from your mother or from your maternal line, I think Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: it's so natural to have so much anger about that. Because you're lumped with this. You're Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: looking down your line and you're saying, I'm not passing this on and nobody's cleaned up their house. Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: And maybe it's not nobody, but there was enough unfinished business for this to have to fall onto the one that's going to turn around and say, yeah, I'm going to take this and I'm going to dismantle everything about this. and, so much of the synchronicities and the coincidences and the spontaneous unfolding of these things happens in such an uncannily similar way that you cannot ignore it to the point where it's Anna Grace: No. Kait Tregenza: like, well, actually just fuck this. No, I don't want to do that. And so Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: when the anger started impacting on your body as well, Anger is anger and it doesn't always know, the reason why it's angry. how much deeper did the unfolding of the emotional response to the call take for you as well? Because I see that happening with a lot

of women. It's like the work is there and that's X. But the emotional overlay of the responsibility and the accountability and the work and the unfairness and the injustice and the undesired to do it mounts on top. And so sometimes you have to clear that stuff before you even Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: get to the actual work, right? Anna Grace: Yes, yes and see I feel like my was thinking about my grandmother in terms of like we either do the same pattern or we go the opposite so I feel like my Nan went through a lot of trauma as well but it was always under the rug so I kind of I almost feel like an honor to take on a lot of that stuff that was probably initiated by her her her mom, so my great-grandmother. But interesting at the very start, we spoke about my middle name is Grace. So I always, I go by Anna Grace in my business because Grace was my great-grandmother. And even that, she Kait Tregenza: you Anna Grace: was the first person that came through to me when I started to meditate. And it was like, she was holding the baton and saying like, I couldn't do it. I'm really sorry. And I know it was hard for Shirley and for Lisa, but now it's your turn. And Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: I'm applauding you. I felt that cheerleading. So there was Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: a lot of light from it and a lot of support, but it's because they couldn't, they weren't in that time with a higher consciousness to be able to do it. So I do feel the honor, but of course there is that sacred rage that comes from it. Like really? Kait Tregenza: And that's the difference, right? You can intellectualize, this wasn't the time, this wasn't the epoch, this is not what women did. And that's the difference between intellectualize something and having the somatic body felt experience of, yeah, okay, I get it. I can make excuses. I can understand that. I can pacify myself, but the anger is there. Anna Grace: Yeah, yeah. And I do feel like we're given the male partnership to be able to sometimes express it. So the person that gives you that fight or that anger or that power or helps you to step into the power. So I see that in terms of my ex-husband of being the gift or the karmic contract. that helped me to find that because I was very, very much a people pleaser, very polite, very like don't rock the boat. And that's what our entire maternal lineage was. So we don't confront things, we don't talk about emotions. Like I was a highly empathic, sensitive child that would hide behind my mom. Didn't like photos, didn't like to be seen. And I, you know, that wasn't really who I was meant to be. definitely meant to be more outward and exterior like in the public eye, but it was like you're not really allowed to be emotional. So a lot of Kait Tregenza: Mmm. Anna Grace: those narratives are because all the women before me were never allowed to, they weren't able to speak up. were essentially like the housewife and be like my nana particularly. But she was actually

in the Masonic. She was sent to the Masonic school because her father died when she was young. And so her mom couldn't look after her children. So they were sent to the Masonic Hall, which was like a boarding school in that time. And she wasn't allowed to have anything. very, you know, that's traumatic. As a five-year-old and her sister was seven, they were sent, they lost their dad and they didn't have their mom. Was that ever spoken about? Never. I actually don't really feel like we're allowed to speak about it. So probably in this kind of forum, like, actually, it should be spoken about. That would have been really tough. And we know now with the wounds of like the mother and father wounds, like this is deep abandonment, rejection, like the worthiness that we might not feel that we'll seek it out in others. We'll seek it out in a partnership or a... space that we can fill that void to feel that we are enough. Kait Tregenza: But it's interesting. mean, obviously that was an extreme case of being sent away. But I think that there are many children who find the trauma of being even sent to school and being sent away from them. Obviously they come home and they connect back in with the parents. But if they can't reconnect back in, I feel like that's an even more painful loop to be stuck in because you see the person there that you're deeply craving. But there's no access point. And so that could have continued on in your lineage in a different manifestation of your mother was going through things, going through divorce, going through health crisis, all of these kinds of things. And your access point to her may have been strained even in that way. And so even that story can. can carry down in a different manifestation and different extremity, but still felt in the body in such a similar way. Anna Grace: Yes, and that's what really helps you to access the healing because I didn't want that for my son, but you know, I Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: wanted to be there for him. And really I started my spiritual business to be able to be there for him more, right? To have, to be working from home and things like that. Then of course, as you get on the journey, it's like, God, it probably was easier just to have a nine to five and. put him into childcare. Do you know what I mean? It's like, really, if I had a choice. yeah. It's like, seriously, Kait Tregenza: Everyone knows what you mean. That's why they do it. Anna Grace: it's easier, but I do, I know that I'm breaking a lot of the cycles and it's helped him so much. I I do treasure that time that we had and I have been there for him in his younger years. And I do hope that I'm a role model and a positive role model that you can, yeah, you can move past these challenges. we don't, I don't want to stay in the heaviness of sometimes co-parenting with an ex is really challenging. And I see a lot of people that are not managing their fire and their rage about these situations. And it's not healthy for children at all. So for me to heal that, you know, I had a big hiatus from even seeing my ex or communicating with him. And that's what I needed at that time. But now we are amicable and everything's fine. He just picked my son up before. I don't have any reaction or emotional response to witnessing him or his car or anything to do with him. And that's, that's through the quantum work because, you know, yes, all the other physical like, the help from the medical kind of modalities, but deeply it's from recognising the trauma and releasing it and doing the real, I feel like embodiment work that comes with that. Kait Tregenza: Okay, so let's get into it. Let's explore that part now, because your story to arriving here is pretty epic. when, tell me more detail about what you, what you had to do, who you had to become in order to get yourself into a place where you can start doing this work and how did you receive it? Anna Grace: Well, it's interesting because I received a lot of the synchronicities prior to this initial event, the rupture that you say, like the initiation, the rupture, the big event. I was doing quantum work previous to that. So it was that kind of up level of the expansion or the further capacity to hold space for other people to do this work. I had to go through that. So I, Initially started to do a lot of like of course I did my astrology work and tarot and then past life healing all of the meditation, you know holding space for women Yeah, all of that stuff, right? but it's like it was Kait Tregenza: All the 101s! Anna Grace: actually in the past life healing that I would meet certain people and Kait Tregenza: Okay. Anna Grace: one of my clients was actually the thread that left left that led me to my quantum teacher and he left him yeah. Kait Tregenza: Okay. So to clarify, when you say doing past life work, that was you facilitating a client into past. Okay. So it wasn't Anna Grace: Yes, yes, yes. Kait Tregenza: you going into your own past lives. Okay. Go ahead. Anna Grace: No, but essentially it was my past life as well with this particular client. So there was a dynamic between, so I had met somebody in a regional dating time before I met my partner and he lived in Byron Bay. He moved to Byron Bay. Of course, then one of my clients was going to Byron Bay I'm in Sydney in this time, Kait Tregenza: at this time. Anna Grace: it was definitely a kind of like a fantasy for me. was like, I could just leave this survival, you know, terrible situation of like moving through divorce and I could just run away to Byron Bay. Sounds lovely. Anyway, my client met someone at the market. and he said, you know, I really am called to offer you a healing or talk to you about your own personal development work. Could we meet up? And it was at that point that she was doing the past life work with me. And we came across this lifetime where she was my baby and the husband was the man that I was looking to date that lived in Byron Bay. So of course

all of that happened at the same time. and Nathan was my quantum teacher. He came into the field and he led me into he and then of course next minute I said I'd love to go to Byron Bay right and I'd love to have a holiday and then my friend reached out said hey would you like to house sit for me I haven't heard from her for years there I am I'm driving to Byron Bay you know and met I did a lot of the healing work for this client to release this story but it was a really awful story of my baby being stolen from me and taken and and buried at the in the land. Kait Tregenza: my god, just like your great-grandmother. Anna Grace: my gosh, yes. Yes. Kait Tregenza: Okay, keep going. Anna Grace: Yeah, see the pattern. You find the patterns. It's very, yeah. So it's like, I've actually had many, many stories like that where the physical baby is taken from me and yeah, horrific stuff. But I suppose that led me to work with Nathan who opened my whole, yeah, well to quantum healing. And I would, even touched the map of his land. that's where the baby was buried on his land in Byron Bay. He was a developer and he moved from Melbourne to Byron Bay because of a similar synchronicity of like, must go and be here. So it's just like that real trust in the synchronicity and what you're really meant to do and less of that attachment to like the 3D that it's like. Kait Tregenza: logical. Anna Grace: Yeah, it's just there was a lot of faith in trusting it and I don't even know why. You know, it's like, why did I do any of these random things? There is always that reason behind it we don't always know at the time. So I then did a session with him and I did let go of this particular man that was, he may have been my twin flame, but it was a really strong karmic contract with him. But essentially when I did a lot of that work about losing that baby, I was able to continue the work with Nathan and then meet my now partner. But he was very integral and the big shifts that happened from that time were just massive. So went from living in a granny flat to having a four bedroom house that I live in now with my partner Jimmy and he has a daughter that's eight year old, my son's 10 and us coming together and blending families was just like, just massive. So that's when I just felt everything started to fast track. And then I was able to really dive into being the practitioner and doing this work for others. And it almost was like so potent and transformative that I couldn't do the other things so much anymore. You know, just astrology. It's like, that's just information. It's really empowering. I love it. But it's like, can only take you so far. Like you're saying, you can't intellectualize. You've got to feel it. You've got to do the somatics Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: and you've got to do the work. show up for yourself. Like people say like show up on the mat with yoga. It's like show up in the quantum is kind of where I'm at now. It's like that's where I find my own answers and I don't Kait Tregenza: Right. Anna Grace: feel like I need to outsource so much or you know receive that constant mentoring or you Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: know finding all the different things from outer. It's Kait Tregenza: Yes. Anna Grace: about more the internal and my knowing and my me being my own wise guy. Kait Tregenza: Definitely. And so how, what is your daily practice of doing your own work to transform your life? What does that look like? Anna Grace: Yeah, for me, it's tapping into the chakras to understand where those blocks are. So I do just my own meditation practice that will be able to locate those spaces within me. Sometimes it's not every day, it's being the observer of how I'm moving through the space and then I will know if I am met with a block of some sort or if it's a projection from another person. this is still about me. So what's happening in my environment that is making me feel, you know, not enough or not worthy enough or abandoned or any of these kind of patterns or wounds that will come up. It's just like the real human work. I think it's like Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: sometimes it's not like I have to sit down and do half an hour meditation. It's something's arising and I have to meet myself. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: And in the meeting of yourself, in the silence, that connection point, in that intention to meet that, what does that look like for you? Anna Grace: Yeah, so how I have been taught is to really locate the position where it's being held and dive into the story that's within there. you know, recently I've been having, course, like I'm called to come on the podcast because I've been having like throat chakra issues. A block in terms of being this new identity that I am rebranding is like, I am a quantum healer. Like I am the quantum priestess because I've been through this initiation, it's not for no reason. Like Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: I'm here to do the potent alchemy work. And that's what I believe the priestess is, is the connector between source and here in this physical world. So to be that conduit or the connector or, I love to work with the elements. So I'm definitely a more of a shamanic. approach with my quantum work but I'm just as excited by above and other realms but I'm not yeah Kait Tregenza: as above so below. Anna Grace: I don't go like too far up and like you know galactical realms or anything I'm definitely more of a grounded shamanic yeah a style or approach to you know using the fire using the water the air the earth because sometimes it's about those base chakras of like being here and listening, Kait Tregenza: in. Anna Grace: because we can, you know, a lot of practitioners can go flying far up and like that's where I love to be. And it's like, actually, let's come back down here and find a way to root and ground back into the now and feel what it is that we need to feel. So yeah, we can kind of go, we can go so many places, Kait Tregenza: The

more that someone has experienced deep trauma and a desire to escape their body, the easier that is for someone to leave. We all have the capacity to leave our body because that's the design, that's the biotechnological design. But we also have the capacity to embody the body and to discover what the technology of this vessel is as well. And the more that we're disconnected from the body, the more that we don't know what it can do and what it can create. Synchronicities don't often happen when you're outside of the body because the body technology is the power mechanism, is the organizing principle behind synchronicities and spontaneous creation. And my deepest memories are that The more that women are convinced of manifesting like a man, which is to go out of the body, the more that we are disempowered and the more that we are outside of our creation capacity and that our capacity to tap into the quantum field comes very much deeply from the body center, not from the escapism. Escaping, if you would like to create something in the 3D reality, which is where we all live? Whether you want to call it the 5D reality or whatever, you live. on an Earth planet. You live in a frequency that is obviously attuned to you and where you live in your life, but you live on the Earth planet. And that has laws and principles that we need to be governed by that exist here and that we operate within. You can operate harmoniously within them or you can operate in complete disharmony and out of connection of that. And the way to operate harmoniously is being inside of the body. Anna Grace: And it's, it sometimes takes that accountability of someone being there to say, it's okay, it's safe to be here in your body now. And that's why I think it takes, you know, I have done a lot of work around the capacity to hold myself accountable and do that. And I am first to say that I'm, it's not daily. It's not, you know, anywhere as, as much as I would like it to be. but when something arises, I'm able to meet it. And then sometimes we have blind spots, we have strong egos that go, no, no, we're not gonna do that. We're gonna do this instead. And so it's like that potential for the hijack can take you in this, like, you know, a myriad of ways. But if we have that person, that accountability that goes, hey, no, like, it's okay, it's safe to return. we can be, we can explore so many paths or timelines that, you know, as soon as we locate the source or the route, then we can actually clear it. Then we create that new timeline of, you know, it can be so different. I don't know about you, but if you've been walking around and you've been in this different timeline, it's like, why is everyone's being so nice to me? What is happening? Like everything's really harmonious. And it's like, Yeah, all the other... Kait Tregenza: the opposite, right? Like what neighborhood did I just end up in? How Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: did I get here? And because Anna Grace: Thank you. Kait Tregenza: I think that's something that's really interesting as well from my journey over the last three years was I had always been in the neighborhoods with synchronicities. You people used to say to me all the time, you live in a dream world. And they said it as an insult. And I was just like, Anna Grace: Yeah, it's happened to me too. Kait Tregenza: You're reinforcing my belief system, my man. Like, yeah, I live in a dream world Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: because everything that I dream up here, it comes outside. The question that I have is why are you here? But then something Anna Grace: Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: can trip you and you can fall, or it can at least seem like you fall out of grace, so to speak. Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: And that like, you know, that those deep... traumatic things that just keep happening and just keep cracking you open and just keep stretching you and just keep asking more and more and more and more of you. In those times when you're in that survival state, you come very close to an understanding of what it is like to live on hell on earth because Anna Grace: Yeah, yeah. Kait Tregenza: nobody around, when your belief system is that nobody's helping me and I am all on my own and nothing is going to work for me, the entire world shows you that that is what you believe. Anna Grace: Yes. Kait Tregenza: and getting from that into, am help, help is coming, everything is coming for me. I am here, I am abundant, I am in receiving of everything. That could be the greatest challenge of any person's life. And so I would love to know like in your line of work and the way that you did it is how did you get from, how do I get out of this into, it couldn't get better. Anna Grace: Yeah well it's you just got to go into the fire like you got to go direct into it so every single time this like this tremor came up like I had to go into it and feel it and ask it like what do you need what is this about how can I understand you more and of course that that was like psychology work and like with a counselor and all the things but it was actually about releasing the feeling state of that fear. And then once that's released, it's like, I don't know, you're on just like a more of this like foundation. It's a strong foundation. So as soon as something minor, it's like just little blips, like that's okay, like I've got this, I know how to manage this because I went all the way in. it's like that, I like to see the fire as kind of one of my clients, sees the like, I'm going to say like translucent or like, you know, that real pure source of the fire where it's like, it's blue. Yeah. So we go into that. Kait Tregenza: yeah. The hottest part. Anna Grace: Yes, exactly. So you go all the way into that. That's what really transmutes it rather than just like on the surface. it's a bit hot. Like, like, you know, that sense of, you're not confronting it. Kait Tregenza: I understand your client very well because this

podcast is named Becoming Flame because you literally need to become so hot and you need to stay there for long enough for the transmutation to happen, for the alchemy to happen. And without the heat of that and without you being available for the consumption of being consumed, mean, but also the consumption of that, which you are ready to release or ready to catalyzed into something that is far more aligned, you need to wait in stillness to heat up enough, right? And that's the part of the discomfort. And if you can learn to hold it just that little bit longer every day, it will release. But I think, and I mean, the metaphor is like when you touch fire, you want to bring your hand away straight away, right? But what happens if you put it all the way in? what happens if you then step your entire being in. And I think that that's the reason for me was because the Phoenix energy was so powerful for me in my own personal life and I'm also a dragon. And so there was a lot of, there was a lot of fire and I'm a triple air sign. So, you know, I needed more fire to catalyze my own self. And that was becoming flame. That was like. Anna Grace: Yeah, this is it. Kait Tregenza: when I was sitting in my version of yours stillness and silence, Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: it was the flames every single day. It was every single day. And my totem animal became the Phoenix, but the Phoenix with the dragon intertwined. And then somebody gifted me a painting of a Phoenix and a dragon intertwined with the masculine and the feminine intertwined with all those colors. And I was like, yeah. And it took me. Anna Grace: My goodness. Kait Tregenza: Probably five years to understand this painting. Anna Grace: Yeah, exactly. Because see when I started to do the quantum work I witnessed the priestess version of me of this high priestess, golden, beautiful woman with these two lions. I didn't know anything about the lions, I just knew that was part of it. It was like the fire. I needed to step more into my fire. It's one of the elements that I have resisted the most. So also have a look Kait Tregenza: But it's interesting what you said about your voice as well, right? Your Roar Anna Grace: yeah, being, you know, being the lion, but also my Mercury is in Leo and a lot of my, yeah, the work has been to step more into the Leo and to be, yeah, to be heard, but to be confident and to, yeah, be seen as that. And of course I had like the two lions on my side. was like, wow, well that's really beautiful support. And then I found out that this was one of the original priestesses called Inanna or Inna Diwanna. and she was the, yeah, one of the first female writers of our time and the connector between the gods and the people. And it was just like everything about that story just completely opened me up of like, I am her and I've always wanted to write my book and it's always about the expression and being heard and through poetry and, you know, creative expression. And so yeah, it's like every time I've gone to the fire to like work on the fire element, it's really stepping into that higher path or the higher Kait Tregenza: Bye. Anna Grace: self. And yeah, I have constantly come back to the flame and to work in that space. So it resonates with me too. Kait Tregenza: You have a lovely segue into what I've been really wanting to ask in hearing your story. Do you think that you could have done this quantum work that you do now daily for not only yourself, but with other people, but specifically, could you do this for yourself if you weren't a mother? Do you think that you would have enough understanding of unconditional love to apply to yourself? in the holding of these stories that are held in your body. Anna Grace: No, I don't think so because really the motherhood led me in the journey in the first place because it was like to because I had to change the cycles. So if I hadn't have had my son, I mean, that was my first experience of my my soul, like completely leaving my body because it was a lot of trauma in my in my birth story as well, not mine, but also birthing. And it's like it just led me to to everything. and the continuation of being my best self, it's all for him. And Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: I don't think I would have, no, because of as the Virgo, like perpetually the martyr of like helping everyone else, right? So I would have been able to do a lot of my initial work, hold space for people, but not to this deepest, you know, the deeper level that this has created for me now because... I am constantly on that evolution path, like for his sake. So I can be that role model and I find it easier to do it for someone else like that. Then to, if it was just me, it would be almost like self-indulgent or selfish or, know, it's I'm too in my ego. If it's just like for my own benefit, does that make sense about the, yeah, like it inspires you, I suppose. It's not just for him, but. definitely inspires me to be a better person. Kait Tregenza: becoming a mother has helped me actually understand what unconditional love feels like to give. And therefore Anna Grace: Yeah. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: I've been able to give that. And you've been talking about creating safety to change. when you're holding yourself accountable, I have found that the way that I hold myself accountable was the way that my mother specifically scolded me or chastised me or reprimanded me. And so my own personal internal voice was very mean to me. It was very harsh. It was not safe. I did not feel safe to come home to myself to be accountable because It was like, it's your fault you didn't do this. And one of the things that in becoming a mother helped me feedback to myself was I don't mother my child that way because I love her. So why am I talking to myself this way? the other day she did something that I don't remember. It doesn't matter. And I remember doing this thing as a child her age as well. And I started to feel the brace. And because she

and I are so in tuned, she came over to me and she said, mommy, it's okay. I'm only little. I'm just learning. I didn't do it on purpose. And I was like, she's talking to me, not. to herself, you know? Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: And I just thought, isn't that amazing? How can I start to talk to myself? Like, it's okay. You're only learning. You didn't know better. And now you do. We don't need to be in trouble in, because I think that people talk about radical responsibility and radical account, and all of these kinds of things. And we place our own perception of what that is and the way in which that's taken into the personal body or the personal experience. And that is usually through the lens of how were you raised as a child? How were you reprimanded? were sat down and explained to you Or were you just punished and sent to the naughty corner or were you just hit or what? coming full circle back into your conversation around building safety within the body. If it is not safe to see who you are in the faults of you, you will never show up to do that work. If your body holds memory of you're going to be caned or beaten or isolated or whatever it may be because you've made a mistake, it now becomes to you in your existence to never make a mistake. And if you do to hide it and to never show up to changing that. Anna Grace: Mmm. Kait Tregenza: And so I found that it wasn't until I became a mother and access into unconditional love and support and caring for another person that I could even access a kindness to myself in that Anna Grace: Hmm. Yeah, it's a really interesting concept. I'm trying to think of how that has been similar with my bond with my son. And I think a lot of it is just like, for me, it's about being more in the play and in the presence because Kait Tregenza: Mm. Mm. Anna Grace: he has gifted that to me. And maybe that shows something about my my parents and maybe not being like fully present all the time in those younger years. because that's been the journey, like enjoy it. And I wish that I had some of those younger years back actually, like when he was really little, because I don't feel like I enjoyed it. didn't play enough. I was really busy. So I think there was part of it, you know, in my previous life, I was a teacher and I was really dedicated to the role. I'm still a teacher. I still teach sometimes now. But it is just like, yeah, he really pulled me out of the hustle and the seriousness. And it's like, you have to be the achiever. So Kait Tregenza: seriousness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anna Grace: it's like, now I relish the school holidays. Like I really do enjoy it. And I think that's true transformation because I'm like, I don't get overwhelmed by it. I love to have him here and to do fun things Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: and invite his friends over and things like that. So it's like, Yeah, I mean now I do children's workshops even so it's like this sense of just being in play in creativity and presence and mindfulness like that I have embodied that in this life so he's probably helped me with those elements. Definitely to be listening to I suppose the emotions Kait Tregenza: Hmm. Anna Grace: as well but I think has a from a maybe from a more of a male perspective it's like get out there and have fun and kick the soccer ball around. Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: and just don't take life so seriously. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: And then I was interested in as someone who has been initiated into priestess, nurse or whatever that word is. Anna Grace: Yeah, the priestess, yeah, I don't know, priestess realm. Kait Tregenza: What do you remember about raising children as a priestess? Anna Grace: I don't have any positive memories as the priestess raising children, which is really sad. I have lots and lots of trauma. I have multiple, multiple stories of it wasn't for me. So I felt like a lot of the time I was dedicated to the mission. So this like, I am obviously very emotional about it. So it's like deep remembrance of it. It was like it was not, I wasn't allowed to have that. So in this lifetime, it means everything to me. And I suppose there's part of that is like the story is to not be only on the mission Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: and not only with your family. So there's like that real, it's a balance. Cause I think I was even just recording before this that I, all I really wanted was the family and it's, it's a, you know, it kind of, suppose it wasn't really what I wanted. What, what I thought it would be when I, when I got married and had a baby, it was like, actually I wanted the second child. I wanted it to be how you dream of it being, but we don't know how things are going to, how life is going to unfold. So It's like the grief of the perception of how it will be is part of it is like you're grieving what you imagined the future to be. And then I came out of that whole experience, I suppose, like treasuring my one child, but I was thinking, I just deeply want more children. And why is it so hard for me in this lifetime to have children? when that's all I really wanna be is the mom. I didn't really wanna do the work, I just wanna be a mom. And then of course I was gifted a stepdaughter. And I think there's been challenges with the whole blended family, but like that's really, really fucking magical really. Like I just was like handed this beautiful daughter. And I just, yeah, I think that's been a big part of the vision for me. It's like. Actually, it's not how I imagined it to be, but I get to have both. And yeah, and I'm living, breathing that now and I can still have my mission, still do work and that really lights me up and hold space for people and help people if they're also finding it hard to be in the, you know, in the divine feminine and be held by the divine masculine and have the children. And you know, perhaps there is still time for me to have a baby. I'm not sure. But it's like, it's one of those things. I think the deep

remembrance is a lot of struggle, a lot of hardship and a lot of loss with babies. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: And so do you have a sense of comfort and expansion around the fact that you now know how to move past and beyond that and alchemize that into a new pathway forward? Does that give you the sense of like, it's okay, it's just the emotion that I'm tapping into at this moment, but it's not the finish line. It's not the full story. Anna Grace: Yeah, definitely. I have lots of faith that is what is meant for me will come. I definitely do. And I think, you know, I do have a lot of clients that come to me that have a lot of baby loss or these kind of experiences in the birthing space. And I did train to be a doula as well. So that's, I feel like it's... big part of my work, but it's not all been revealed to me. So Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: it's like, it's not just, it's not the only thing that I am here to do, but it's like, if people, if women come to me and that's part of their past life or their current energy is holding on to these stories, that is a big part of what I help people to do is to heal this. Mm. Kait Tregenza: And how is it different for you to work with your own self versus with somebody else's energy? Anna Grace: Yeah, that's interesting question. It's essentially Kait Tregenza: Do. Anna Grace: the same thing. in with quantum as a practitioner, I'm guiding the person to do to locate it themselves. So I don't do it's not Reiki healing where you're using like hands on approach. I talk them through it. What are you experiencing? Where are you going to? Where's your focus point? Is it in the energy centers and an emotional body? Is it a color? Is it a story? Sometimes we go to past lives. Sometimes we go to future lives. we go to other realms, like it is really so there's limitless, like so many possibilities of where you can go. And Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: often it is that that person's capacity. So where they wanna go or where they have the resistance is where we go. Kait Tregenza: Yep. Anna Grace: Yeah. Kait Tregenza: And can you see this? Can you feel it? Like, what's your experiencing of it? Anna Grace: Yes, so my strongest clair sense is my claircognizance, which is the knowing. So I will often know these things prior to session or in right in the moment. So I always am trusting where it goes. I don't hear, I see, or I know. the claircognizance, sorry clairvoyance is my second strongest. In my like Tarot and astrology and that kind of work it's mostly clairvoyance. So I can definitely do psychic work but it's not something that I really focus on anymore. It's more yeah like movies. Yep Kait Tregenza: What do you see? Do you see stories? Do you see like them playing out like movies or? Anna Grace: so particularly within like within the forest I work with the elements so I guide people into the forest and that's a way for often someone that's at the beginner stage to be able to ground into the elements to understand it, for them to activate their own clear senses, because seeing gives the person the most evidence. And Kait Tregenza: Mm-hmm. Anna Grace: it's often the easiest, right? If you have evidence, sure, I believe this, like this wild, woo-woo thing that you're talking about. It's like, actually, wow, I just saw it. And then I see the same thing. So there's lots of evidence and like, I needed that a lot at the start. as a heavy earth sign Virgo, like where's the evidence? Like what is this about? You know, what, like, why am I experiencing the same as these people? It's like, so Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: tell me, tell me how this works, right? So Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: yeah, I think the Claire Cognizant's one is, the hardest because it's the Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: least amount of evidence. Yeah. But they're my two strong ones. Kait Tregenza: Well, I guess, clear cognizance is just knowing what you need to know in order to prompt the person to activate their own knowing, right? So Anna Grace: Exactly. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: the training for you in that is not necessarily to narrate, but to activate, to invite, to leave these breadcrumbs. that's you learning to decode what you know into what is helpful. And that's like why you're a teacher, right? Because that's the skill set. Anna Grace: Yeah, it's being able to meet that person where they're at and then, and guiding them and feeling. So sometimes I do, sorry, I do feel it in my body at times too. So the clasentience, Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: that's very particular to more of the physical density that they're experiencing, which is often Kait Tregenza: Hmm. Hmm. Anna Grace: the resistance. So like I've got something in my shoulder or like heaviness Kait Tregenza: Mmm. Anna Grace: in the heart or the chest. And it's like, we need to release that before we can go to any other spaces. Yeah. Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: Mm. Kait Tregenza: to round out our conversation today. Where you're sitting now, you've gone through this massive journey, you've come out the other side, you're on your pathway to helping so many more people beyond yourself now. So I guess my desire is that what would it be if you could gift every listener the usable, tangible wisdom that you've gained from this lifetime that you're living, walking alongside. grace walking alongside your mother and your grandmother, walking alongside your son, living now with a beautiful bonus daughter that you always dreamed of having, a new man that holds you in the fullness of you, knowing where you've come from, knowing where you are now and knowing where you're going. What is it that underpins all of that, that you've Anna Grace: That's, Kait Tregenza: gained? Anna Grace: yeah, that's so beautiful. All you just said, I'm gonna copy that. That's just, yeah, so beautiful to hear. Cause it is that, it's that point of reflection, right? It's sometimes when it's reflected back to you, you can recognize just like how much

you have been through. And I think when it comes down to it, it's truly just choosing yourself. in every single moment because that's what the boundaries are for that's why we communicate that's why we say what we want and we say no to what we don't want and and really acknowledge what you are deserving of right it's like I deserve more or it's it's in those simple small actions of choosing yourself over and over again and if there's something that it's just this tiny little breadcrumb just follow it. just really, really follow it because at the very initial part of my journey, I signed up to this random, you know, nine month life coaching course that truly changed my entire life. And I didn't know why I was doing that at all. I trusted my intuition. I listened to that, the inner child that was like, I really need this and you need to do this for me to come back to like who I really was. And Kait Tregenza: So is that what choosing yourself means in your definition, listening to your intuition, listening to your inner child, listening to those body, body calls? Anna Grace: Yeah, yeah, the body pulls the nudges and sometimes the mind will not make it won't make sense. So it's that deeper trust that you have when something does arise and actually following it and committing fully to it. So none of these half-assed stuff of like, I might just tread tread in and like see what it, I'm a bit nervous or scared if there's fear and then like challenge it. and continue to show up and outside of your comfort zone because that's where the real magic is, is like of course we can listen to the intuition but we might not take action. So actually doing the action and Kait Tregenza: Yeah. Anna Grace: continuing to do it because every time we build that capacity and the resilience to be able to follow it. Kait Tregenza: Because you said it first, choose yourself so that you get what you deserve or you get what you desire. Anna Grace: Hmm. Kait Tregenza: But I think in your explanation, it almost shifted the nuance again, which was in choosing yourself, in choosing to follow your intuition, in choosing to listen and honor to your inner child, what you desire and what you want and what you deserve actually reveals itself. Anna Grace: Yes, true. Kait Tregenza: And so I think so many people go into like, what do I want? What is this life that I want? And they're trying to create it from the mind or from the imagination or from this like conceptualization of future self and working backwards. But I actually think that you tapped into something knowingly or unknowingly there where you decoded that in choosing yourself, which just means in your words, following the intuitive nudges that are coming through the body. And therefore the inner child is expressing itself to you through the body, your intuition, your higher self, your, the timeline that you're connected to your highest version of self, your future self is coming through the body technology. Hence why you need to

be back into your body to actually feel it. Anna Grace: Mm-hmm. Kait Tregenza: And then you get to learn who you are and what you desire by Anna Grace: Yes. Kait Tregenza: what's delivering itself to you. Anna Grace: Yes, in a calm nervous system that is not in survival, that is in truth and clarity, that's when it can be revealed. And we also have to be aware that that can change. Kait Tregenza: Mmm. Anna Grace: And there needs to be acceptance around those changes because you can have a deep desire for something and then you get there and you're like, actually, it's not really what I want. I wanted the feeling state that that created for me. So I used to have all those big visions of like, I remember seeing this house that I'm living in and like coming to the doorway and meeting my partner. Like I had no awareness of any of this and I could hear in the background was like giggling and I was like, why are there multiple children? Like I don't understand. And I would walk through this opening of this doorway, but it was the feeling state of him hugging me and saying like, you're home. Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: That's the vision, but it's about the feeling state. So Kait Tregenza: Mm. Anna Grace: that's what we want to focus on with our visions, our desires, because when we feel that sense of home, safety, then the external will result in, you know, a myriad of things. How do we really know what it is? Kait Tregenza: So if you're in a decision point, if you're in a decision point and you know the feeling that you want is that sense of being held, hugged, children giggling in the background, how do you make a choice to that? Anna Grace: it's in the small moments, isn't it? Because I could have been like, I need to have these two children. Like that's what I fixate on and I have to go out dating. I have to meet someone and like it's a job. Kait Tregenza: so I can have another child so that I can do this. Or I need to find someone who has a kid. Yeah. Anna Grace: Yeah, it's in the details, right? We let go of the details. I have this highest vision. I know I can find it. It's faith and trust in every single step, every moment of calling that partnership in. And it's also, and feeling that feeling within myself rather than outsourcing it to a man that he will create that feeling of home. Actually, shouldn't I feel home anywhere? It's not about the physical house. It's about the safety, yeah. Kait Tregenza: Okay. So I hear what you're saying. what are the choices are not, what do I need to choose in order to get those things? It's how do I choose that sense of belonging, that sense of home, that sense of safety today in this body, in this vessel, in the way that I exist in the world, irrespective of what's happening anywhere else around me. And then Anna Grace: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kait Tregenza: in choosing those feeling states, you let all the other details be taken care of. So Anna Grace: Excuse Kait Tregenza: what you're choosing is actually to trust yourself. Anna Grace: Yes. And it seems really simple when we say it that way, right? But how often do we, we do things that we don't want to do or we don't trust that we aren't, know. So yeah, Kait Tregenza: I'm an Aquarius. I don't. I'm sorry. Could you explain that again, please? Anna Grace: that's the thing. It's like the air signs. You have to, you have to have like, um, scheduled embodiment practices. Like I listened to sad music sometimes. So I cry like, It's like, it's actually, um, like almost strategic, right? It's like, but hang on. Have I been like compartmentalizing my emotions? Oh, maybe I'm going to listen to a sad song and like, have a cry. And then I'm like, Oh gosh, I've been doing that thing again. You know? So it's like, there, sometimes it's Kait Tregenza: That's so funny. Anna Grace: in the actual practices, but sometimes it's just in, just doing what you want to do. You know, it's like, it's not Kait Tregenza: Well... Anna Grace: so, it's not actually that difficult. Like the, concept. but whether the difficulty is actually doing the thing. Kait Tregenza: Thank you so much, Anna. Today, Anna Grace: Bye, Joe. Kait Tregenza: I want to just reflect a few moments on a few things that I'm taking away from this conversation. demystifying what mean by the quantum today has been really, I want to crystallize that to close out the conversation. In many ways, what you've said about working in the quantum field is actually about working in the somatics of the body and connecting into feeling states, connecting into the deeper or higher wisdom that you can change this story. You have the power. and the capacity wired into your functionality as a body, as a being on this planet to shift stories that may or may not have even been yours and that you can store epigenetically or psychically into our cellular structure via the water, via the consciousness, via the collective. We have these things within us that aren't part of our highest purpose and timeline and being that we are available to let go of. You can do it the hard way. or you can show up daily and you can meet yourself there. Very important skill that you highlighted that needs to happen before anything else is building the safety, the resilience and the capacity in the body first so that you can hold the expanded states so that you can actually have the energy capacities in there and the resilient capacities in the body to shift whatever story it is that you're holding and that you do that by being in the body. You do that by identifying where where stories are being held, whether that's in the chakra systems or the organs or the flesh or the outer auric realm, in how we're speaking or what we're looking at around us. And then when we want to make a shift in our life, tapping into the feeling of what we ultimately desire and what is ultimately lining us up is what we're choosing to hold firstly within our own bodies and then to match that externally to us, but that we still have the power within our own selves to create that for us. And then finally choosing and making action towards that. I think I summarized an hour and a half conversation. Anna Grace: That was incredible. Yes. I think I'm going to write that down later. This is actually what I do. It was incredible. Thank you so much for having me. Kait Tregenza: Tell people where they can find you, connect with you, and how they can work with you. Anna Grace: Yes, so I've just recently rebranded to be the quantum priestess on Instagram, it be in the show notes, but I also have my priestess temple. So this is a the intention is to have a community space for healing the sisterhood wound, but also for a place for me to do tarot and astrology and fun things and connection, but also meditations and the practices because that is what we need to daily return to. We don't always have the space. So it's like that sacred space that we can just be with the sisterhood and be with fellow priestesses. So that is completely open. The doors are open at the moment. It's brand new. So it is, yeah, just please come along and experience that. And I do have two meetups a month and I do quantum mentorship. So it's not something that we just, you know, I'm going to say just like kind of dip our toes in, I feel like if you are really truly called to working in the quantum and you're hearing this and it really resonates, then that means you're here for deeper transformation. And just reach out to me and find out more about it because it has to be like three months at least to be able to really dive into the conceptual understanding of the quantum, but also to trial it out in terms of the internal. and the external meeting and understanding it from your lens. So it is definitely, you know, it's best to be done in the mentorship, but please just reach out anytime. I do have my own podcasts and Instagram is the best way to find me. Lovely to connect with you guys. Kait Tregenza: Thanks, Anna. Anna Grace: Thank you.