TRANSKRYPCJA 🔗
Kait Tregenza: Hi everybody and welcome back to another episode of Becoming Flame. Today, everything we're talking about is self-love and self-care. And of course, self-love and self-care can mean different things to different people, but ultimately it is something that we all need. So today we're going to have a discussion about self-love, self-care, the importance of balancing, of giving and receiving love. This episode of Becoming Flame is brought to you by Phenxx. Phenxx is a ritual luxury house devoted to erotic feminine embodiment. We create alchemical intimacy oils and functional fragrances infused with spagyric botanicals designed to soften the nervous system, open the body, and awaken life force vitality. Our formulations are crafted as tools of self-initiation. They are not cosmetic. This episode of Becoming Flame is brought to you by Phenxx.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2: Kate, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and share a little bit about self-love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's such a big journey for so many people, right? It's like, it's such a surface level trope. You know, you see it in magazines, you see it in like, well, like, just love yourself, just do that. But I guess what I'm really interested in is for you, as somebody who's had to really claim yourself love, like, how, how did you do that? How do you help other people do that? So
Kait Tregenza: And we're going to be talking to Morgan Johnston, who is the salon owner Self Love in Milton, Brisbane, but also a new sanctuary she's going to talk about, which is about an hour outside of Brisbane on a beautiful property devoted to weekends or long term, longer term, not for the rest of your life. ⁓ Wouldn't that good? Just go and like be pampered for the rest of your life ⁓ in Self ⁓ They are not decorative. They are designed to be felt. They are designed to shift. Each oil facilitates a cellular shift into relaxation and receptivity, activating and opening up an archetypal femininity that your body knows and is yearning to step into.
Speaker 1: Let's start with the moment that this all opened up for you personally. Like how did you get to a point where you're like, this is my life's work. This is what I'm doing.
Kait Tregenza: These oils allow the body to open safely into sensual intelligence, magnetism and creative power. They open the libido and open creative sexual energy. When the body is safe, it softens. When it softens, it receives. When it receives, it creates. And when it creates, the entire world shifts. but she's a beauty therapist and she's a Reiki practitioner. Morgan has been running the self-love lounge for seven years. Actually, I think it's longer now, maybe eight years, but she's been in the beauty industry ⁓ for a lot, lot longer. So she has a wealth of knowledge in dermatology and integrated health. And what I really loved about her was that for her, it's not even mind-body connection, but mind-body-soul holistic care.
Load full transcript
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh I love that, yeah. It's probably been my life's work for like the last 11 years at least. But just to inspire others to love themselves a bit deeper, a little bit more, even just day by day. And I think to answer your question, Kate, at the beginning when everything cracked open for me was definitely like the start of like my health journey, I guess. I think at 18 I was diagnosed with like a thyroid autoimmune thing. And you know like when you're like a little girl running around, you just.
Kait Tregenza: We believe that women who sit deeply in their bodies, in their erotic intelligence and sovereignty, become powerful creators of their lives and the environments around them. Our products are initiations into that coherence. Luxury in experience. Devotional in use. Transformational in effect. Get yours now at phenxx.com That's P-H-E-N. we're going to get into what is beauty? What is the real essence of beauty? Because if you are putting all of these things on your skin or your hair, but you're not inside good with who you are, what you're bringing to the world and you're not fully tapped into your inner beauty, then is it even beauty? Are you practicing beauty or are you practicing a...
Speaker 2: you think everyone has the same body and you're like, everyone, everyone runs the same, everyone, you know, the bodies are the same at the swimming, you know, school and all that sort of thing. And then I was like at 18, I was like, ⁓ why is my body different? Why is my body attacking itself? Why, you know, like, and then I just dove so much deeper onto my own physical and then a little bit more about the emotional things came like even just in the past few years, but ⁓ my whole journey with self-love began like definitely when I like the health, the health side.
Kait Tregenza: version of worthlessness or self-hate or self-rejection in the process of putting these things on your face, putting these things in your body. So we're going to get into the underlying energetics, her reiki essence as well. So of the reason we spoke, reached out to her was because she's really interested in this holistic approach. ⁓ ⁓ became interested in the xx.com
Speaker 2: just like everything kind of fell apart. I was diagnosed with cancer. I had endometriosis, so like lots of operations, mostly hormonal imbalances actually. If I think about it, it like comes down to a lot of that. And I guess being a girl growing up in, you know, like the 2000s, like diet culture, all of those really interesting, not so things now, you know, in hindsight. And yeah, I guess I just believe like self-love is a choice. Like every day I wake up,
Kait Tregenza: the soul connection in holistic health. And that's of course why she studied the Reiki and why she wants to bring the mind and soul level into the treatments. So this is not your average day spa beauty pampering session. She's really great at emotional release. She loves watching how Reiki can uncover these hidden aspects of held or forgotten or.
Speaker 2: And you know, like I'm just so happy to be here. I think when, you know, they tell you, you have cancer and you, know, surgeries and like your life just gets flipped upside down. Um, I think grief as well has been like running quite like a lot throughout my life that I've just learned to realize that life can be so short. Um, so even things like running or like walking, you know, like you have your legs, like I'm just so grateful every day get to put my feet on the ground.
Kait Tregenza: you know, whatever it may be for the clients who are coming. And so it's really understanding how Reiki mixed with the ⁓ beauty aspect of this. So the external and the internal really change people's lives.
Speaker 2: and get to stand up and to move my body in ways that feels good. And yeah, just like grateful gratitude.
Speaker 1: So much that you just said there. want to go back to the beginning and talk about what's fascinating about an autoimmune disease and this conversation of self-love is autoimmune is literally the self-attack from the inside out, right? So you are in this war zone with your own body attacking you. I can imagine how challenging it would be to love
Morgan Johnston: about six, seven years ago I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. having your life flipped upside down can be super scary. I've also got a little bit of endometriosis and some thyroid hormonal imbalances. And I guess like having my own health journey.
Kait Tregenza: Really what we're going to talk to ⁓ Morgan about today is what actually happens when you discover what beauty is, what soul level beauty is. So this is going to be a really interesting conversation. ⁓ right, let's get into it.
Speaker 1: a body that is making you sick.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's a big part of it. Like I've been told, know, what all the external things say this is wrong with you, that's wrong with you, like your body's not, you know, it's different, it's this, it's that. So I've had like every reason not to love my body or not to love myself from the external factors, you know, like magazines, like you look like this or that or like you're on social media now and all the ways to fix, you know, fix yourself or to look better or to look like someone else or to...
Morgan Johnston: at a reasonably young age, has really shaped the way I feel about myself. I really take its toll on, I guess like the comparison and things, like physically. like why not to love yourself? Like, you know, with the image, like weight or...
Speaker 2: Liv, that's like not your truth and no I don't want any of that stuff I just want to be able to get up every day and look in the mirror and be like you got this girl like let's go
Morgan Johnston: your hair, skin, all of the things. And I think the media ⁓ everything that's wrong or that needs fixing. Whereas I choose to wake up every day and to love myself in the mirror and to honor the body that I've been given. And this is my journey
and my experience throughout life. it's a choice.
Speaker 1: It's interesting, right? My query into the beauty industry is which aspect of beauty is real? In the moment that you're putting toxic chemicals or even in more holistic beauty where the ingredients are carefully selected and all of that, but it's in a plastic bottle. Or it's carefully selected and then it's in a glass bottle.
Morgan Johnston: the world, the external world gives you so many reasons to pick yourself apart, to find what's wrong, what you need to fix, like the perfection. it's elusive, like you're never gonna get there. So if you start today by loving what you have right here, ⁓ that's perfect.
Speaker 1: But then the results are still seeking a physical change. And I think for me personally, it's like where is the coherence with I love me for me first and where does a product actually help and support in that? Because that's where if we don't change the fundamental approach to what is beauty, and how does beauty unlock and crack open love, then there's no better ⁓ industry today than in the 90s or the 2000s or before that. And I think what you're trying to do is really blend a holistic approach to every single level of that. how, I mean, given your background and the way that you have come along your own journey of self-love.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: How do you approach beauty when you're having these very vulnerable people coming into you and saying, you know, I want to be open to this?
Speaker 2: We use a lot of spirituality in what we practice and all of the products that we stock here are all organic and come from the earth. So I feel like it's just like a circular motion from like the earth to us to the physical to back to yeah. So making sure that every ingredient or every product that you're putting into your body is like from a place of love and like a purpose and of kindness, like something that's not going to harm you, like the toxins that interrupt the hormones and you know, that's a whole ⁓ nother chat. yeah.
Speaker 1: But it's not a whole nother chat, is it? It's like, this is the thing that's being illuminated at the moment. It's like, you go down to any major department store, and you're in the perfume department. And if you're walking through that, you are literally walking through a haze of hormone disruption.
Speaker 2: disruptions. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And we sell it as some kind of body enhancement. And my question has always been, what kind of industry wants to disrupt the natural operation of women? And how is that equal to beauty? How is it equal to stop a woman's natural essence as beautiful? Because that, for me, like that's the patriarchy in a nutshell, right?
Speaker 2: 100 % this is that what it is. everything that we've taught being taught everything that we've ever known to be beautiful or to be enhancing actually hurts us from the inside. Yeah
Speaker 1: And isn't that the old adage, beauty is pain, beauty hurts?
Speaker 2: No. I mean, yes, sorry, it is, but it should not be like that.
Speaker 1: shouldn't be like that. It shouldn't be like that. And I think that the mass normalization of that statement, we always thought about it in physical pain. But I mean, you knew about it in every aspect of your body.
Speaker 2: my body. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Is that the motivation for you or is it something else?
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. Yep. To help other people. Yep. So they don't have to go through what I've been through. Or even, not even that. It's just like to be, I want to be open and to share my story so then other people don't feel like they're alone. Like so many of our clients walk through and have period pain or back pain or endometriosis and it's like, hey, it's okay. Like I've been through this too. And you can, you know, change some things like products that you're using or whatever, the toxins, get them out of your life. It's almost like a whole way in your way of thinking like, Is this serving me? No, like food that you eat is like trash, trash, trash, trash these days. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of bravery in that, right? There's a lot of bravery in saying, I'm not going to do what everybody's doing.
Speaker 2: Yup, yup, yup.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's the same kind of bravery that it takes to love yourself, to go against what everybody else is doing and saying and thinking?
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yep. Like I do that every day go against my Myself, I'm sorry. I I love myself and then every all the external things are like, you know Why it reasons why not and then in business as well like yeah I've created this beautiful space that is like well We'd you know offer a few beauty treatments like it's so different to anything on the beauty industry like I felt so ill aligned from the beauty industry for so long because Yeah, we want you to come in and inspire you and to empower you to love yourself more, not to be like, ⁓ here's a fine line or a breakout or whatever, and it needs to be fixed or you're broken or yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a really bold move to do that in a space where there's so much noise, I guess, the beauty industry. don't know, yeah, can't remember any figures, but it's a gigantic industry worldwide. and to go against the grain and to stand up for what you believe in can be, yeah, a little bit scary. I don't know, I just, this is my life's purpose and I've got three younger sisters and you know, I just feel like I have a huge responsibility to just stand up and be like, no, this is not right. We need to change. And I have a voice in the business and a space where I can do that. yeah.
Speaker 1: Take me back to going through cervical cancer and how that cracked open an ability for you to love yourself in a different way to what you could before. Like, what did that teach you? What did that give to you?
Speaker 2: I guess, like, one of the major things that came out that for me was being able to ask for help or to even share my experience with
my girlfriends and like not sugarcoat it and not be like, ⁓ I'm fine. You know, like the oldest daughter thing, like I'm fine. I take care of everyone. Like I got this, I'll be okay. But to really just like fall apart and to be like broken on the floor crying and my friends come over with flowers or cake or whatever. And just to be like, hey, I'm actually not okay. And this is what I need. just be here for me. We don't need to talk, but just like, I don't know, hold me or allow me to cry or just let me go through the motions and just like, it's okay to completely fall apart and to crumble and you know, you're going to be okay. Just like to feel it in the, in the moment, I guess. Yeah. Mostly. Yeah. Like you have to be on one all the time. Like you can stop it. think receiving, sorry, is the big thing here. Well, what's the big thing there for me? Yeah. to allow my friends to pick me up instead of me holding everything together. Yeah. think everybody.
Speaker 1: Mm. Go ahead.
Speaker 2: thing I'll touch on with the cervical cancer for me is, like I lost my best friend to cancer when we were 17, our last year at high school. So watching someone else from the sideline, not the sideline, but from the other side. So I feel like my, that little experience with cancer to me is just like a full 360 in my life. So I can, and just, yeah, I guess like giving myself some self-forgiveness because my family is in New Zealand and I knew what they would be going through because I'd experienced it from being the person that's like, you know, a loved one go through this. So I was just really mindful of like, okay, like that's their experience that's for them to journey through. I can't save everyone and I can't love and protect everyone. Like they need to, like if they're gonna get upset and cry about what I'm going through, that's okay. But that's not for me to take on.
Speaker 1: Mmm.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. I was like,
Speaker 1: That's such an important lesson, no matter what you're doing that's going against the grain or changing yourself, right? Because you going through cervical cancer is like, even though it's not your choice, didn't choose, theoretically, you didn't choose to go through that. I mean, we can have a different conversation about choice and what level of choices we make and what level of us, but in this physical reality, you didn't necessarily choose to go through that. But the lesson and the value and the gift that you got was irrespective of the journey and the depth and the hurt that I'm going through and the difficulty that I'm going through. Obviously my loved ones are going to be affected by that, but it is not mine to also carry and not also mine to take on. Eldest daughter syndrome, like 101, right?
Speaker 2: Wild. Yeah.
Speaker 1: How do you have you have you regressed and gone back and started taking on other people's stuff or has that been like no emphatic no your stuff is yours and mine is mine
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, boundaries. Yeah.
Speaker 1: How do you do that?
Speaker 2: just like, yeah, ground connect to protect. I know, like, we might see like 10 clients a day, but like, I know the things that you talk about in your appointment is like your things and like, I love you and I, you know, see you on your day. I don't need to overthink that and worry about that and keep this up here. Like, that's not mine to, yeah, that's yours. Yeah.
Speaker 1: ⁓ that's like, mastery.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 1: When you're going through such a hard time and your body's literally fighting to stay alive, you realize, if I keep loading myself up with everybody else's reaction, everybody else's journey, everybody else's challenge to go through this, I won't have enough energy to heal my body.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I guess the declaration suck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the other thing with the supercancer, I should say as well, is I had zero symptoms. So like if you need a pack smear girls out there, like I had like, yeah, just go. Because I don't know if I'd be standing here talking if I hadn't gone for the, it was actually like two years, three years in between. I think in Australia here they do five years, but I had quite an aggressive kind. yeah. If you're due for your mammograms, pap smears, any like blood tests, please, please, please, please, please go to the doctors. Go and get all your tests done.
Speaker 1: So basically what you're saying is that you were fine. was nothing like no abnormalities in your periods, moods, energy, anything. And you just went for your normal pap smear and it showed up. Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then I'm sure that that was such a shock, right? Because you'd be like, I don't even connect to that. There's nothing that's changed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how can you have cancer cells growing in you and not know? I think that's like, yeah, yeah, it was quite frightening. But I just, I trusted my intuition and I just insisted, because at the time me and my husband were about to get married and my doctor was like, I'm sorry, it was after the wedding, we moving house or something and it was quite a stressful time and she was like, oh, don't worry about it this time, you're probably a bit stressed, we'll do it next time. And I was like, no, in New Zealand we do it every two years. And I was like, it's probably been about three. I was like, can you please just do one, like just a routine one or whatever. So yeah. And like, this is like an everyday thing as well. Like sometimes you don't know why you do the things you do, but like in hindsight, like they're really important. So just like follow the nudges and if you find something that you like isn't logical in the moment, keep following your intuition because like something will maybe come of it later. Yep.
Speaker 1: those wrong turns that save your life, basically.
Speaker 2: 100%. Yes, yes.
Speaker 1: I really want to know more about your journey to actually feeling and being in self-love. So is this something that you were acquainted to the feeling of and the sensation of and that you have comfort of in your body from childhood? Or did you have to learn to put that into your body? you know, learn to hold the discomfort of self-love or was it a combination? But like, tell me maybe.
Speaker 2: ⁓ Maybe both, yeah, because since living away from my immediate family, I've realized that I'm quite a touchy open, cuddly person, which honestly, I thought was just normal. But apparently not. Some people give those really stiff awkward hugs and I'm like, ⁓ lean into me. I need to feel your heartbeat. ⁓ And I guess being in the industry that we are, touching people all the time is really a beautiful space to be in and to be allowed to. to be open and to be that close to another person. So I think a little bit of my childhood definitely, like four girls were pretty open and cuddly and you can imagine four sisters growing up, only like two and a half years apart. I went to an all girls high school and then housemates and things, Beauty industry is predominantly woman based, so I guess being quite close to girls throughout my entire life. But no, it's definitely a choice, the self love. Yeah, and then Having all those external factors even as well, like we mentioned before, like the media and all the reasons why not to love yourself and to fix this or to fix this or all of the things like that can be, yeah, very overwhelming. So I just try to teach people to come back to themselves, to trust their heart and to be open.
Speaker 1: How do you do that? I mean, obviously you followed the nudge of, know I need to, okay, so tell them about it.
Speaker 2: The spiritual path, I think, opens me up to that. to, I mean, yeah, being in business even, like it's been 11 years, right? I've had coaches and all of the mentors, all of the things. And I think sometimes you can get like so, I know, I kind of want to say weighed down, but like, you can get so like enclosed into like the right way to do things or the, you know, like the mainstream things or like pushed on a path that maybe isn't yours or doesn't feel authentic to you. And sometimes I, well in my experience, sorry, I feel like I maybe did some of those things that other people thought I should do or trust other people's opinions over my own or over my own intuition or my gut instinct and maybe haven't lived me on the right path or yeah, so I just think coming back to yourself and to, I mean, obviously friends and family or purchase things you pay for, that's great. But I think like take it with a grain of salt rather than doing all of them. things, like just coming back to your truth and what you want and like, yeah, like meditating with the Reiki as well, like getting to know yourself better, like on a, on a soul level, like why, why'd you come here? Like what's your purpose in this life? What I think we ⁓ spoke about this recently too, like what do you want, like the end game? I know in business
they always talk about like the end game, like how you're going to exit the exit strategy, things like that. It's like, what about your life? Like, what do you want to leave behind? Like, How are you gonna, what do want to be remembered for? What do you, like the legacy?
Speaker 1: And what's up for you?
Speaker 2: My vision, well, obviously at the minute I've got two locations of the Self Love Lounge and Self Love Retreat in the country and I just want people to just come back to themselves, learn to trust themselves more, to live in their truth, like from self love. Just inspire.
Speaker 1: And when we all sit around you're... ⁓
Speaker 2: I feel like a version of life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you when we're celebrating your life, what is what are the three gifts you want to have given?
Speaker 2: like laugh, laughter and probably hugs.
Speaker 1: So with the physical touch, why is it so easy for you? Is it that that's just your expression of love? Or is it that you find something like when you're tactile? Because it's interesting because you do Reiki, which is not physical touch, and then you're loving physical touch in like the beauty. So I'm interested, like what is a physical touch for you? Because in some modalities, you're quite obviously not touching and then in others like you're loving the touch. So I'm just really interested in your way of approaching love with touch and without and how does it change?
Speaker 2: I think because I feel it, like I feel the energy when I do Reiki. So it still feels like... Yeah, that's so interesting. I love that question actually. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because it's just really interesting that you were talking about how physical touch is so important to you. That's like the way that you express love. But you didn't go into massage, for example, which would have been... Yeah, but it would have been far more physical. I'm, or like, you know, a different kind of spiritual ⁓ practice that had physical touch involved in it. So I'm just intrigued.
Speaker 2: think because one of my clients, this was years ago, this is how I discovered Reiki, she was like, Malka, every time I come for my face with you, I always see purple around my head. And I was like, okay. But also at that time, yeah, was like, ⁓ that's nice. Like, I, like, what do want me to do with that information? ⁓ But I also just, had this deep ingrained knowing that like there was so much more to me than just beauty, but I just, didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1: Mmm.
Speaker 2: It would be like, know, your treatments are amazing and you know, like all these kind of things. And I was like, well, that's nice. Like what are other people doing out there? Like, is this not a facial? Like this is what I, this is just how I do it. I don't know if it's different, anything. And then I must've been chatting to my mom one day and she's like, ⁓ yeah, like me and your dad have Reiki level one and two. And I was like, okay, cool. And then 2020 COVID closure of clinics
and things. And I was like, perfect. I've got some time now. I can actually really deep dive into this Reiki thing and see, you know, follow, see if there's anything there. ⁓ And I did a little bit of an online course, was, you know, all right. But like I say, I'm kind of tactile. like to chat things out and I like to, you know, experience it in like a group setting, talk about it, feel it. And then I went to study Reiki with Nat and that was like five or six years ago. So I just kept going along the levels and yeah, I never thought I would be able to stand and like teach it or I hold monthly meditation groups in clinic here in Milton. ⁓ where yeah, guess you just like open the channel and you just allow whatever meditation or whatever guided, wherever journey we go on goes through. So there's so much trust in that and, and yeah, you're right. I don't, ⁓ sometimes I do touch people, but like only a little bit. I don't know. I just think that like the energy can encompass love. Like even if you're not, you know, like level two, I'm right here, like distance and things, like you can still feel love even if you're not physically there.
Speaker 1: Mmm.
Speaker 2: that the reiki or the spirituality that I've learnt to like encompass, I guess, brings the physical and the love and the feeling all into one, even if I don't actually touch touch. I don't know, is that my sense?
Speaker 1: Totally, totally. I was just interested in your approach to it, in your way. was wondering if you were doing Reiki in a more physical way, given your proclivities to touching other people. So I was just intrigued.
Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, we do like a little ritual every time we have a client, you know, with the oromus and the deep breathing and we do like place a hand, a hands on their heart space. So I guess like in that moment, you're almost like inviting the energy to come through. So whether that's like Reiki or just love or ⁓ just like opening the space to be held for the person while they're getting, you know, like a facial massage, whatever that treatment might be. Yeah. ⁓
Speaker 1: What does love feel like for you?
Speaker 2: ⁓ like so much expansion of your heart space, like your chest just like tingles like outwards. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Who do you become when you feel that love, when you're in that love zone?
Speaker 2: Who do I become? I don't know, I think like my high self.
Speaker 1: Who's that? Like, how is she different? What's different about that for you personally?
Speaker 2: I don't know, she's like still grounded, but she she's like golden and glowy and like, just like radiating. Yeah. I think like, I try to like mirror or not mirror like match that every day. So I can become like a better version of myself to hold the space to invite love and to encourage or inspire others. Yeah.
Speaker 1: There's a really special gift to be able to connect into a form of universal love and allow that to make decisions for you, allow you to develop the gifts that you have, you know, in terms of your business, in terms of your connections with clients. Like how has love been a coach or a mentor or a guide for you?
Speaker 2: I don't know, just like this deep knowing of trust, like not even in my physical, but like in my soul. Like I know what I need to do and I know what I came here to do and I just trust that it's gonna work out.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: like a deep knowing, like I can't, I don't know what it like, it's not even me. It's like, just like, I don't know. Like, yeah, I guess it's in like the belly, but like also the heart.
Speaker 1: Why do you say it's not you?
Speaker 2: More like. Well, like it is me.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like it's a force like greater than me that's in me I guess that's like I don't know
Speaker 1: Do you mean it's a force that's greater than the smaller identity that you?
Speaker 2: Sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's bigger than like my personal, like if I'm like a little person, like my human is like this much. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And when you say you're connected to what you call the higher self, is that version you? Okay, so you're talking about there's a love that's bigger than even that highest part of you. Do you ask this questions? you get guidance? Like how do you work with?
Speaker 2: All the time. Before we jumped on, I guess I do like a morning practice. So it's like a reiki, I chicken with my sharp wrist. ⁓ Yeah, I do like free writing. Like I have a sauna most evenings. That's just like my time to just like decompress.
Speaker 1: ⁓ my god, ⁓ I couldn't imagine that would be amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have an infrared sauna. I pull tarot cards. yeah, like I, yeah, I connect in with my, I have like a few of my spirit guides, like my great, great grandma and yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Have you found a space in terms of like a business ⁓ growth space where these kinds of things are normal?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like the self-love retreat my husband and I are creating in the country is like an hour and 10 minutes away from Brisbane and we have like a cold plunge in a sauna and ⁓ a hot tub. Yeah, red light therapy, we do like a lot of massage. I teach Reiki out there. Yeah, like I want it to become the normal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And when I, and what I'm trying to as well as like, sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 2: I was just going say it's so much more than like beauty. Like we're tracking like physical, the spiritual, like we're working with all of the layers of like the person, the soul when someone comes to self-love lounge.
Speaker 1: What I mean is, have you ever found another beauty mentor or business mentor, I should rather say, that can hold you in that space? Can go, yeah, ask love what you should do with your business or ask love what you should do with whatever problem you've got before you. Or is this something that you've kind of been doing as a solo endeavor, just trusting yourself that you'll get the right answers? Like, I'm just trying to
say like, There's a lot of women who are like, I'm going to devote myself to these energies of love, of compassion, of kindness, because it's what feels correct and what needs to land in the world. I think so many of them are like, OK, well, I need to go and create a business. I'm going to go and join these business containers. And all of the things that light you up in terms of literally shifting the the earth into this new way of being into this coherent harmonic way where you actually in touch with your own body and your own needs and not from a surface level, but like a I now move with deep trust because I know how supported I am and I know my divine plan. I know my purpose. I know why I'm here and I'm moving in the world in that way. Then you go and you get this so called apparent business support or help and they want all of the trust and all of the purpose and all of the bigness of that to be put into this one-dimensional business plan or this ⁓ Instagram social media plan. It's stifling and it's suffocating. How do you navigate holding the hugeness of the vision that you're here to do Do you just stay away from all of those bros or and by the way, I put women who are in that place in the bro category, right? So it's not about a gender thing. It's like it's like a mindset. How do you navigate? How do you expand your business? How are you? How are you growing this business of love?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's a balance between like the masculine and femininity again, but like don't get me wrong. I've been in all the masterminds. I've done all the coaching. I've like I've experienced the really masculine and driven and like the business plan and the strategy and the coaching. ⁓ And like there's definitely a time and a place for that. Like don't get me wrong. But the more I lean into myself and my truth and following like my soul's path, the more I can I can feel the expansion. and it feels easy and in flow and like light and like joyful. Whereas the other one feels like pushing shit uphill. ⁓
Speaker 1: And this is the distinction that I wanted to like get into with you. So you've had, I want to connect all of these dots. You've had this autoimmune disease that's like literally pushing shit up a hill. Like you're trying to get out of bed in the morning. You're trying to heal your body. That's kind of hurt you. And you claimed your own self in that. you, and you said, no, I'm going to love me. I'm going to devote my life to love. And then You've built this business and you've built it in the foundation of love and the celebration of you and the triumph that you've come from and the decision and the choice to every single day love yourself, to touch other women, to give them what you live from.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then it's almost like that same push and pull. And I hear it from so many women who know who they are so well. And I try to reconcile why are the things that feel so small and heavy the things I'm supposed to do when the things that feel so light and expansive are not part of this cookie cutter, five step program to success.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But that's what lights me up, and that's what expands me. How do you navigate? As an expert in love and someone who takes guidance from love, tell us how you've built your business in this way.
Speaker 2: just like the same way you run, like put one seat in front of the other. And just go, be like stubborn. Well, not even, it's not even stubborn. Like I just know, I know this is why I'm here. And I know that the space is needed and I just keep going. Like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm winging it like every day of the week. I mean, not every, but like I just, follow what feels good. What my clients tell me, like I lead from a place of like my heart. And if it feels good for me, does it light up other people?
Speaker 1: Thank
Speaker 2: Is it, does it feel hard? Like I'm not into it, like I'm not going. Like do I put myself in rooms that don't feel good? Like no. I guess just like it's a feeling and I know that sounds so stupid. ⁓
Speaker 1: But it doesn't. It only sounds stupid because of the context that we're coming from. So I'm trying to highlight your brilliance of like, I don't do things that don't feel good.
Speaker 2: I know. Yeah, I don't really think that I'm feeling good. I do things that feel good and they have led me to incredible places and to be able to provide incredible things for clients, people, myself, my husband.
Speaker 1: But isn't that so fascinating, Like just even in this conversation, the overculture of these mental structures and architecture that we're supposed to do, and you're talking about, I leave a feeling. I'm a touch-based person. I'm a human person. I'm a woman who's connected to my body. And I'm going to follow that down a path. ⁓ my god, I'm so sorry. It sounds so stupid. It's like, but you're a person. power is there. That's who you are and your power. And I think that the more that we accept like these businesses of the future of this next generation of what business is of what life is of what freedom is of what coherence is, it's not going to look like a five step program that anyone else can come into. I think that I've been in this game for a really long time. You know, and working as a VC was always so challenging for me because it was like, there are so many people who are trying to propose somebody else's plan. My work was always like, what's your blueprint? How do you do what you do? And like, it's no surprise to me that you would be in a ⁓ healing modality that involves touch because it's like,
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: what you loved to talk, you opened the conversation around self love in, love touching people, I love cuddling people, I love feeling them. And I think what the Reiki is what I've understood from you is like, it's a different and deeper and yet more holistic way to feel somebody, to touch them, cuddle them, to hold them. And so I'm really
interested in like, how do you cuddle with your business? How do you feel with your business and does it cuddle you back?
Speaker 2: ⁓ Well, I think like doing things differently, like sometimes we don't have opening hours, like we're here, we're here, you're like going against the grain of what you think it should look like ⁓ and then being okay with that. And then I guess like in turn, your clients or your customers being okay with that as well. ⁓ And I guess like respect and boundaries come into play a lot there. Yeah. And putting your stuff in the box, like actually, no, I don't need, well, not that I don't need.
Speaker 1: Mmm.
Speaker 2: Like, ⁓ I have some personal things coming up where I'm like, actually, I need not to be at work for three days or four days. I just, yeah, yeah. Like putting myself first in this situation in my business instead of just every day in my life as well. Yeah. But that's a learning, a learning.
Speaker 1: Right. That's like you keep nothing to get better at that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all of that. All of that, yeah. Yeah. And then even as well, like saying before, like, how do I explain or like share my business? Because it can be so different and it can be so like feely and, you know, like a lot of the Google reviews for South Club Lounge, like more than half of them say like the word feeling. And it's like, how do you market like a feeling or like that's something I've definitely struggled with in business over the years. But I just trust that the right people will find us and their experience they can filter out and touch more people. So I guess that's what it's all about. doing things I feel like I
Speaker 1: Is trust a learned muscle for you or is it something that you innately have? Because you talk about trust a lot. You talk about everything. The foundation of who you are is self-trust and trust in this love and trust in this higher operation. So is that something you were born with or something that you have worked on or has it proven itself to you? Like, I'm so curious when women have really strong self-trust.
Speaker 2: think it's something that I've learned maybe from a younger age. Like if I want something, I can do it and I trust that it will work out.
Speaker 1: Mmm.
Speaker 2: And I think because maybe being the oldest daughter, like maybe this is a slight silver lining. having like a deep trap. don't know but again it's like my high self like pushing or like holding or yeah like the trust I have for my life for myself for my business.
Speaker 1: Did you trust your mother?
Speaker 2: Do I trust my mom? Yeah? I think so. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Does she trust you? Yep. I think that's the greatest privilege that anyone can live with. We talk about economic privilege or socioeconomic privilege, but I think having a mother that unconditionally loves you, trusts you, sees you, and supports you, that's the greatest privilege that you're born with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Like, because you do anything and you're like, I still have a place to go. I still have someone who loves me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Tell me about, you know, taking these risks and how you work with her. mean, did you say that she's also a Reiki master?
Speaker 2: She is now, yep. She's a lactation consultant in New Zealand, like breastfeeding. So maybe that's like the touch. A nurse, yeah, caring, loving.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And so when you said, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do these crazy things. What was that like?
Speaker 2: They never really questioned us as kids. They were always like, just be happy. We don't mind what you want to do or study or be or become. Just be happy. So I guess having a lot of freedom. We also like a Montessori schooling system. So maybe like learning to plan your day, learning to like coexist with like other children of different age groups. Like I feel like I could talk to anyone. My husband's like, why do you have to be friends with strangers all the time? And I'm like, ⁓ you might learn something like this. So interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like just being open to the unknown, I guess, like always stay curious, always ask, always be friendly and kind.
Speaker 1: But it takes a very trusting person to be open to the unknown and feel safe there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes I probably do things that... Like one time I remember I took an Uber home with a random guy in a storm from the train station and I got home and I was like, Mork, like fuck, that was probably really stupid. I don't... Anyway, I just did it and I got home and safely and I was like, ⁓ thank goodness. But I don't know why I trust... You know what I mean? Like I shouldn't have done it.
Speaker 1: I do. really, really do. When I was 18, 19, 20, I hitchhiked to almost 70 countries by myself.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's incredible. an adventure.
Speaker 1: It was, and not only did I like go in their cars, but like the reason that I could do it for so long was like, I would hop in the car and I would just like share my story and share my energy and my perspectives and everything. And people like, ⁓ my God, can you stay for dinner? Can you stay for a week? Can you meet all my friends that need to hear you talk? And so yeah, having a podcast is only like a thousand years in the making because like I've been doing podcasting you know, individually for a really long time. I think what's interesting about self-trust is because when I told that story, it reveals another person's belief system.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: ⁓ my God, you're crazy. You could have died. ⁓ my God, you could have had these terrible, terrible things happen to you. You could have ended up this, that or the other. And it's when people take that experience from me. I mean, I didn't even tell you what happened. just said, here is over a period of three years, I moved in the world this way and went to these places via this transportation means. And people have huge reactions to it.
And it's always revealing our belief systems. And I think that's the biggest thing that I've learned in terms of when you're sharing your story. We talk about these visibility wounds, or we talk about being rejected by other people, or not feeling safe in other people when you share your story. But people's reactions to your story have actually got nothing to do with you and your story. It's to do with how they exist in the world. And so their rejection of you is not their rejection of you at all. It's like, I couldn't do that. I don't have a safety mechanism that allows for that. I don't have a belief in an organizing principle in the world where I have a purpose to do something and that I haven't done it yet. And so I can't die. That took me a long time to understand that me sharing things in the world, it's got nothing to do with their reactions, it's got nothing to do with me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1: That's many, many personal beliefs around rejection had to be overcome in order to see that. when you live a very unconventional life in a very unconventional way, really bothers people, actually.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think, yeah, we can just keep doing what we're doing. And I was thinking before too, do you think it's because like, like the trust thing, like, do we just live in like, not like a delulu, but just like a higher vibration that we just like, everything's like, everything will be fine. And we just like to keep, so we like, don't really see some of like, or we just don't think about it.
Speaker 1: I think that there's stronger connection to memory that Well, I think there's a stronger connection to a memory of truth that had to come into an entire generation of people to actually shift the planet faster than it was being shifted in. And, you know, we're all coming of age and we're all becoming ourselves at a junction point with questioning what is humanity? What is the future of humanity? When you have a computer race you know, claiming sentience and cognizance doesn't have that. It's just a mirror and it's just a falseness of that. I think that if we all were in our ⁓ self questioning and all in our like being so lost and I'm not trying to say that this is like a bad thing about know, boomer generation or silent generation, but they didn't have what we have, which I think is really just this activation point back into deeper remembering. And I think that we have a greater connection into our bodies where that information is stored. And I think that it's a generation right now of primarily women, but also men who are declaring themselves to be valuable and to have a way of being. And I think that the more and more and more women that say, actually, I'm not going to build my business that way. I'm going to, like, base this in the principle of love and the creativity of what is love and that as a creative force, there is nothing outside of that for me. And I have complete faith that I cannot articulate, that I cannot tell you why this is a good idea. And I think that, you know, in a hundred years time, maybe even less, but I'm hoping less, but maybe in my own daughter's generation, that wouldn't be a questioned thing to do. That would be like really weird if you're not doing that. That's the vision that I have. That's the way that I raise her. That's the way that I am holding a, that's the reason I'm doing this podcast, because I want every single woman who's listening to be like,
Speaker 2: love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fuck that. Why am I following all of these structures that don't work? Like, I've got a blueprint inside of me. I come into that. I activate that. And I live from that place. The organizing synchronicities of the world just go bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. These things that I could have done mentally, five-year plan happened in three months, happened in three days. So we start to understand time really differently when we live from our own truth.
Speaker 2: 100 % agree. I'm so here for that.
Speaker 1: Well, Morgan, it's been such a pleasure. Thank you so much for sharing your deeper philosophies around love, around trust, around living in the truth of who you are as a choice. Because I think that's really, really important. It's like, it's not inaccessible to anyone. It's a choice that you make, and it's choice to do it every single day and show up that way, irrespective of how hard that is.
Speaker 2: Exactly.
Speaker 1: So tell people where can they come and find you? Where can they get some service from you? Where can they follow you online? If they're not in Brisbane, how can we connect?
Speaker 2: Absolutely. So we have a social media on Instagram, Self Love Lounge Brisbane, or our website is selflovelounge.com.au and you can book online all the beautiful, delicious services we have here at Self Love Lounge. We're in Milton in Brisbane as well.
Speaker 1: And tell us about your country, our country vision and how we can connect and come on a retreat.
Speaker 2: Yes, ⁓ Self Love Retreat is on Instagram and also there's a tab on our website about more about the Self Love Retreat. We're getting our baby goats this weekend, which is super exciting. Always adding, always growing. So yeah.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I'm so grateful for your time today and for the wisdom and the love, no pun intended, that you shared.
Speaker 2: Cool, thank you so much Kate, thank you so much for having me.