TRANSKRYPCJA 🔗
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Welcome to another episode of Two Bears one Cave. For
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everybody that has not yet done it, we want to
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remind you that we are doing the Two Bears five
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K May ninth at the Pasadena Rose Bowl.
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This is hopefully this comes out before May. I think
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this will come out in September.
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Oh cool, this is that is a good point. We
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should have it come out before then. This is part
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of Netflix as a joke festival. Tons of comedians will
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be there. It's has It's been so fun. This is
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our third in a row and our second time back
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at the Rose Bowl.
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It really is like so cool.
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Whether you're an avid runner or you're a beginner, or
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you weigh four or five hundred, six hundred pounds, whatever
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your condition is, you can walk it, you can crawl it,
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you can get spin on as you do it. You
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can get run over by a golf cart. You can
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run as fast as you want.
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We've almost done as many five k'ses episodes this year. Yeah,
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it's awesome. And that's and we're gonna it's gonna be
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a wrap.
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This is it.
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This is it, guys. No, I'm excited for the five K.
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I'm really excited.
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Oh and of course, hold on, you got to register
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at two bears five k dot com. So if you
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want to do it two bears five k dot com.
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It's going to be big this year. And uh and
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I am the best shape I've ever been in. I'm
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in that physically best ever been in. I've never felt
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lighter on my feet. Well maybe because you're one of
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the lightest you've been in years. I'm I'm the lightest
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I've been in. Uh oh wow in probably twenty two years.
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What yeah, Wait, how much do you weigh?
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I don't talk about weight now, I've changed my digital footprint, Tom.
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I don't show my workouts. I don't talk about weight.
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I don't post pictures of how fucking amazing I look.
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I just I just do the work Tom cool. How
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much do you weigh? I don't know.
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You know, I'm let's just say two twenties. You're in
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your two twenties right now. Yeah, and you were two
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seventy to seventy five, so you've lost like over fifty pounds.
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Oh yeah, Jesus christ Man, I've never felt lighter on
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my feet in my entire life. And like the other
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day we were in Chicago or no, in in DC
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and I got out of my bus. I was just
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staying there for two days, and I ran five miles
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so effortlessly that I was like, I was like, this
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is crazy. Here's the other thing. I'm sleeping ten to
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twelve hours a night, ten to twelve hours a night.
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Dude on the road.
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I'm sleeping aggressively, like in an eighth grader like, are
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you taking something to sleep? Nope, I'm Tom And I
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want to just preface this with I am disgusted by
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sobriety talk. It's all that's in my feed, That's all
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that comes my way is some broken toy telling me
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how to live my life, some fucking ex horror from
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Philly telling me how to fucking optimize my life and
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telling me about BPC one fifty seven and test.
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It's you're so late to the fucking game, all of you.
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Fucking that's at a very point. Back when I was drinking.
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Do you know what I used to do, I'd bring
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a water bottle full of vodka and then if I
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didn't suck at guy's dick before the show started. And
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you're like, you're in a different page than I am. Okay,
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stop doing these testimonials. It's all I get. My whole
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feet is sobriety talking, and I'm exhausted. But the only
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person I listened to when it comes to sobriety is
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Nick Swartzon. He seems to have He is the almost
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even keeled motherfucker. And by the way him talking about
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his sobriety is him and Shaia La both Shia is.
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Shia was refreshing when he talked about freedom and wanting
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able to put your foot in the mysticism every now
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and then. Yeah, dude, is that interview with Shia was
Load full transcript
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fucking incredible. I'm put a pin in shia and neck, okay,
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because we'll get back to that.
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Yeah.
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Sure, So I don't like talking about like so brian
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and every stuff everything, but uh yeah, but I I,
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you know, obviously with the blood clot, I can't drink,
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and then I I haven't leaned into weed yet because
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I haven't really I never really like I didn't turn
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a corner on like the enjoying the.
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Sobriety until too late.
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Yeah, so I didn't want to go right into weed
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to like try to find happiness immediately. And I've been
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now for a couple of months. Not not doing anything, dude.
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I sleep like crazy. I sleep, I sleep, close my
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eyes and wake up easy every night ten hours later.
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If I allow myself to go back to sleep, I
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sleep twelve hours. My scores are in the green almost
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every night on my whoop my woop hours. I'm I'm never.
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I haven't been in sleep debt, Tom. In two months,
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I've been out of sleep debt. I've lowered my biological
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age by like the age like two years.
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Most manic fucking rant that I've ever.
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Dude, Dude, I have never made it to check into
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a mental health This is what sobridy does to people. Tom,
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it May it's so crazy, and they start believing their
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own fucking kool aid.
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They're drinking so so are you like fully sober? Then?
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I mean nothing? Coffee, that's it, that's it, that's it.
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And you're in your two twenties and you run five
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miles effortlessly, effortlessly, turned to twelve hours a night.
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It's it's crazy. Now, how are you going to bed? Bro?
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I went to bed at like nine o'clock last night,
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and you slept till nine. I slept till eight thirty
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this morning.
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Jesus Christ and Tom, I don't move in bed.
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I stopped snoring. I don't. I don't store anymore. Uh huh.
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And Leanna and I have separate bedrooms. She's gone, it's
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just me in the house. We have separate bedrooms now.
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And I kicked out of her bag. So I was
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snoring and I sleep.
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I mean, I don't.
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I have amazing dreams, and I remember all my dreams
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when I wake up. I wake up, I have a
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cup of coffee, I journal, I go into the gym,
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I workout, I come.
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I mean, it's like it's on the road.
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The only thing that sucks is like the witching hour
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when you'd want to have a drink, because I still
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think about it.
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When's that hour around? Oh, it starts around noon and
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goes till no.
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It's it's like when like today, it'll be at like
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six o'clock, seven o'clock, when the sun star setting. And
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on the road, it's right when I tell the machine story,
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like when IXT on tour. Right when I tell the
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machine story, I'm like, I look to my drinks and
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I go, I would love a little right now little.
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I would love weed. I would love weed, but I
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haven't had it yet.
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And so I'm just kind of like I'm waiting till
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I'm waiting till I don't think about it, like you
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know what I thought today, Tom, And I think me
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and you're the only ones, not the only ones. Other
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people have been injured. But do you remember when you
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injured yourself and then you were like kind of going
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like timid on bench press and timid on squats, and
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then one day you didn't think about it, then you
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just went for squats.
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That's what I'm gonna do with weed. One day, You're
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just gonna eat a bag of weed.
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Yeah, when I'm not thinking about it, when I'm not
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going like I need so I want something to turn
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the corner. And then I can't drink until not counting
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but July twelfth and and so July twelfth, I don't
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know if I'll drink that day or maybe like a
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month before, but I don't know.
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Yeah,
what's up with this Tarantino Rosanna Arquet enward thing?
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What I know? I just I don't know. I've just
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seen something. What is that? She's okay? Personally? I am
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over the US word. I hate it.
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Arquet said in an interview, cannot stand that Tarantino has
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given a hall passed. It's not art, it's just racist
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and creepy, all right, So that's what she said.
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On Monday, he said, I.
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Hope the publicity you're getting from one hundred and thirty
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two different media Ali's writing your name and printing your
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picture was worth disrespecting me in a film I remember
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quite clearly you were thrilled to be a part of,
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he wrote in a statement addressed directly to Arquette. In
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the movie, Arquette played Jody, wife to Eric Stoltz's drug
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dealer character. He's talking to Course about pulp fiction. Do
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you feel this way now? Very possibly, Tarantino continued, But
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after I gave you a job and you took the
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money to trash it for what I suspect is very
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cynical reasons, showed a decided lack of class, no less honor.
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Our.
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Cat's criticism of Tarantino's use of the nward is far
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from the first. Express of Course is uttered about twenty
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times in pulp Fiction, and Django un Change on Chaine
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is uttered.
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One hundred and ten times.
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However, Tarantino's use of the N word in the screenplace
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has long been defended by that film star Samuel Jackson
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and his frequent collaborator Samuel Jackson. Sorry, Jamie Fox and
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Samuel Jackson.
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Here's his Yeah we saw we read that already.
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This is supposed to be in this spreed decre between
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artistic colleagues, but it would be appeared the objective was accomplished.
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Congratulations. Cue.
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Wow, he's really been though like this on this tear
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of just shitting on people, I guess. And I always
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find it interesting when somebody that's like high, high level,
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high accomplished will take the time to read to speak
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out about, you know, criticism, because a lot people would
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just like go like, I'm not responding to that.
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Uh yeah.
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However, I think it. I think when it's that close
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to home, you like, if it's if it's if it's
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uh right, because she's in the movie, yeah, and and
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she was friends with him, I'm assuming.
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Well yeah, I mean she got hired for the job
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and she did take that. I do think that that's
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a thing too. It's like you you you're in the movie,
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you took the gig, you didn't complain about the script then,
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and then thirty some years later you're like, you know what,
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I'm sick of your shit.
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It's like, you didn't have that problem when you were
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working for me, and you didn't.
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And I mean, by the way, I don't I don't
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dislike Rosanna Arquette. I actually like Rosanna Arcat. I like
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the whole Arquette family.
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Yeah.
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But but here's the other thing that there's a there's
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a like an intangible in this is that she allowed
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herself to get the clout from pulp Fiction. It was
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a hot fucking movie and she was honest yeah, like,
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and being in a hot movie does something for your
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career for sure. And then to and then to that's
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like if that would be honestly akin to do you
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remember all the comedians that have shipped on Rogan, who
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have been on Rogan? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, And that
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is the exact same thing. And then you're like, well,
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you didn't have a problem doing Rogan, and you were
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cool with him when you hung out and played pool
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with him, and you were cool with him when he
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was but then when he didn't call you back, yeah
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because he thought he felt like you were off on
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a couple of things, then you go off and you
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fucking spiral out against him.
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That's ridiculous When you use.
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When they want them, but then they're like, I got
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a problem with this guy.
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It's always bothered me when people do that to him.
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I mean they do it, they do it to us,
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but it's no one notices when they do.
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It to us, right right, right, yeah, No, I know
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it's it's yeah, and then but like the difference I
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think is that like a lot of times, like he
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basically ignores everybody.
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Yep, he's been lighting up people kind of just out
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of nowhere for no reason at all, and I think,
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really twin Tarantino, Joe, oh, oh, I'm sorry, I'm.
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Tarantino's been Yeah, he's been going off on people. What
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did you say about Joe that Joe just ignores all criticism.
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I mean he gets a lot of it because this
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show is so massive and he's such a huge media figure,
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00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:18.399
but like he's just like whatever, Like I don't think
243
00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:19.799
most of the time, I've been like, oh did you
244
00:11:19.799 --> 00:11:21.679
see that? And he's like, huh, he doesn't even know
245
00:11:21.720 --> 00:11:22.080
about it.
246
00:11:22.559 --> 00:11:25.039
There was someone who said something about me and him
247
00:11:25.159 --> 00:11:27.440
and trash both of us, and I said to him
248
00:11:27.440 --> 00:11:28.960
did you see that? And he was like, oh, he's
249
00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:32.799
a good guy, really, And he goes, yeah, you know,
250
00:11:32.840 --> 00:11:34.440
he just tries to get attention every now and then,
251
00:11:34.440 --> 00:11:37.159
but you know, he's a good guy. And I was like, okay,
252
00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:38.639
it hurt my feelings and he was like, oh, don't
253
00:11:38.679 --> 00:11:40.799
let it. If you saw me give you a big hug,
254
00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:44.120
you know that. And I was like, okay. I was like, wow,
255
00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:46.759
I wish I wasn't so sensitive. I wish I was
256
00:11:46.799 --> 00:11:49.000
a little more like like you and Joe, where I
257
00:11:49.039 --> 00:11:51.840
was just like I didn't give a fuck.
258
00:11:53.320 --> 00:11:56.799
Yeah, yeah, I mean I really think he ignores completely.
259
00:11:57.080 --> 00:12:00.480
And then I probably just care less. You don't care
260
00:12:00.519 --> 00:12:01.960
at all.
261
00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:05.639
You are you are what the problem with uh with
262
00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:10.519
America is me? Yeah, yeah, if it doesn't affect you,
263
00:12:10.559 --> 00:12:12.679
it doesn't bother you. Like there are certain things that
264
00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:17.440
affect you, but they're they're so nonsensical that that's what
265
00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:19.279
bothers you. And I've seen the things that have bothered
266
00:12:19.320 --> 00:12:22.080
you and they're so silly, Like they're so silly. I'm
267
00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:25.000
not gonna say them. They're so silly. I'll say them,
268
00:12:25.159 --> 00:12:27.960
but like, uh, sometimes I'll tell you. I'll tell you
269
00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:30.279
one and I won't say it out loud. But sometimes
270
00:12:30.279 --> 00:12:33.600
when someone thinks that like an innocuous comic is funny
271
00:12:33.600 --> 00:12:35.759
and everyone's like that guy's funny, and then you and
272
00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:37.879
I say he's funny, and you go, hold on, you
273
00:12:37.879 --> 00:12:39.919
think he's funny, and then I go yeah, and you
274
00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:40.360
go yeah.
275
00:12:40.360 --> 00:12:42.480
But I mean I'll tell it to you and you
276
00:12:42.480 --> 00:12:44.080
can edit it out. No, no, no, you don't have
277
00:12:44.159 --> 00:12:45.559
to think.
278
00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:47.840
But like those are the those it's it's a weird
279
00:12:47.879 --> 00:12:49.600
thing like that. That's what I go, like, why does
280
00:12:49.639 --> 00:12:51.600
he give a fuck about that? Like that is so
281
00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:54.759
not on my radar any other comic, but like that one,
282
00:12:54.879 --> 00:12:56.879
there was like a couple of times it's happened where
283
00:12:56.919 --> 00:12:59.039
you're and it's someone no one talks about it.
284
00:12:59.399 --> 00:13:04.120
Yeah, And I'm like, really, like that's the thing, but
285
00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:04.679
you tell you.
286
00:13:04.639 --> 00:13:07.759
That that that quality though about like talking about comics
287
00:13:07.799 --> 00:13:12.159
that's in every comics, DNA, like talking about who's funny,
288
00:13:12.200 --> 00:13:13.600
who's not, Like that's everybody.
289
00:13:13.639 --> 00:13:14.399
Everybody does that.
290
00:13:14.559 --> 00:13:16.240
I think, so yeah, and I think it's it's an
291
00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:20.200
it's uh, I'm sure it happens with chefs for sure.
292
00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:24.240
Yeah, for sure. There. I think they have more hatred
293
00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:25.440
in their hearts than we do.
294
00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:29.080
They are vicious. Man, When you bring a child into
295
00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:32.279
the world. Your perspective changes overnight. Suddenly you're thinking about
296
00:13:32.279 --> 00:13:36.320
the years ahead, about childcare and school and the milestones
297
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you can't wait to see. And for me, part of
298
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299
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300
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There really, I was just a Southeast food and wine festival.
393
00:18:33.559 --> 00:18:37.839
M hm, next year we're going together. We're bringing poros
394
00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:42.440
it Tommy. It was so fun. It was so fun.
395
00:18:42.480 --> 00:18:47.000
And the food through the roof, I mean everything you ate.
396
00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:50.079
And I was just with my chef, the Chicha Bumba chef,
397
00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:51.440
right like an hour ago.
398
00:18:51.839 --> 00:18:52.960
Oh and a.
399
00:18:53.079 --> 00:18:56.920
Phone a phone call with my donut company. Oh my god,
400
00:18:56.960 --> 00:18:59.000
I can't understand a word they said. And I keep
401
00:18:59.039 --> 00:19:00.480
thinking I know, I know.
402
00:19:01.400 --> 00:19:03.359
I went. We opened a.
403
00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:07.640
Remote location one oh one West sixth Street where we
404
00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:10.920
drop stuff off every day. So if you're walking around downtown,
405
00:19:11.119 --> 00:19:13.119
it's in the Scarborough Building on Sixth Street.
406
00:19:13.640 --> 00:19:16.759
So I stopped by. It just opened yesterday and I
407
00:19:16.880 --> 00:19:19.480
was with him, and then we went to the Fairground
408
00:19:19.480 --> 00:19:21.759
Food Hall and just kind of like caught up there
409
00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:24.759
and then he was like, he goes, I went to
410
00:19:24.839 --> 00:19:27.599
a place for breakfast over the weekend.
411
00:19:28.200 --> 00:19:32.680
It had like a five status and three thousand review son.
412
00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:36.960
Yelp, such shit, the biggest piece of shit I've haven't
413
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:39.279
eaten in my life. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry,
414
00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:41.759
He's like, where do he's the eggs for gold? They
415
00:19:41.880 --> 00:19:44.680
bacon cold. It's just shit, like somebody took a shit
416
00:19:44.759 --> 00:19:45.279
on a plate.
417
00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:49.640
And I'm like, wow, like that that passionate shitting on
418
00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:52.480
this place which I won't name, but yeah, they they
419
00:19:52.519 --> 00:19:54.519
go hard at other restaurants.
420
00:19:54.920 --> 00:19:55.480
I am.
421
00:19:55.960 --> 00:19:59.079
I am so excited because I'm coming down to Austin
422
00:19:59.160 --> 00:20:00.440
in two weeks uh huh.
423
00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:02.920
And I'm so excited. I have big plans. I haven't
424
00:20:02.920 --> 00:20:04.880
been there in a while, and I want to pick
425
00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:07.079
your boys up from school. I want you to go.
426
00:20:07.200 --> 00:20:09.759
They would get so excited. They would get so excited.
427
00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:11.640
I want to hear to Chicha Bumba. I want to
428
00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:14.279
go to chich Obama so bad. You please, you have
429
00:20:14.319 --> 00:20:15.440
to be no idea how bad I want to go
430
00:20:15.480 --> 00:20:17.119
to Chiao Bumba. We got to go in the morning.
431
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:18.640
I gotta go in the morning.
432
00:20:18.920 --> 00:20:21.799
What's crazy, Tom is I'm the lightest I've ever been
433
00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:24.519
in twenty two years. I saw Ala the other night.
434
00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:28.000
I came out to one of my shows and she was.
435
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:30.960
She was like, first thing she said she saw me
436
00:20:31.039 --> 00:20:35.480
is you have fingers. I said what. She goes, You've
437
00:20:35.480 --> 00:20:38.400
had sausages your whole life. You have like I can
438
00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:40.519
see your bones and your fingers. She goes, what do
439
00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:42.720
your ankles look like? I was like, wow, She goes,
440
00:20:42.759 --> 00:20:44.519
I want to see your ankles. I showed her my
441
00:20:44.559 --> 00:20:47.519
ankles and she was like, Isla said to me, you
442
00:20:47.559 --> 00:20:49.359
get I'm going to give you two days this year
443
00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:51.960
that you can drink two days and that's it.
And
444
00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:53.960
I went really, and she goes, yeah, she goes, you
445
00:20:53.960 --> 00:20:56.319
look incredible. She's like, I've never seen you like this.
446
00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:58.839
That's great, man. Don't you feel good? Yeah?
447
00:20:58.839 --> 00:21:00.519
And then yeah, and then I was guy, to your
448
00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:03.039
fucking mind, I see you seven days a year. You
449
00:21:03.039 --> 00:21:04.400
think I'm gonna cut it down to just two?
450
00:21:05.079 --> 00:21:05.920
Party? My dick off?
451
00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:08.759
What's what's the When do you turn it up again?
452
00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:12.920
I'm gonna uh so if you got to get off
453
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:14.799
the sauce, right, No.
454
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:16.160
No, no, no no no no no no no no no.
455
00:21:16.200 --> 00:21:18.319
I don't like what's happening in society with kids getting
456
00:21:18.319 --> 00:21:20.279
away from alcohol. I don't know, no, no, no, no. I meant,
457
00:21:20.279 --> 00:21:23.920
I meant the manjaro. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm I mean,
458
00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:25.319
if you want to let it rip, you can't do
459
00:21:25.359 --> 00:21:26.079
it on that right.
460
00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:29.400
Oh I was doing it on it, but I thought
461
00:21:29.400 --> 00:21:30.759
you said, You're like, I don't really have a taste
462
00:21:30.759 --> 00:21:31.880
for it, doesn't well.
463
00:21:31.759 --> 00:21:33.960
I haven't had a taste for it since I quit drinking.
464
00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:37.119
But I think that's part of parent parent parcel, parcel
465
00:21:37.160 --> 00:21:37.480
and pair?
466
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:41.920
What is it? What parson, Parson parcel, part and parcel parcel?
467
00:21:42.440 --> 00:21:46.720
Was that any Will you google that? Par and parcel,
468
00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:52.960
part and parcel? Trying to use bigger words. Okay, I
469
00:21:53.000 --> 00:21:55.519
saw this guy's Instagram this morning and he said.
470
00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:58.160
Every morning when I wake up, I make myself a
471
00:21:58.240 --> 00:22:01.519
cappuccino and I read. Then I go into the city.
472
00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:04.920
I sit at the bar, I have a pastry and
473
00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:08.119
I have one more cappuccino, and I start a conversation
474
00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:10.640
and that is my day, okay, And I went, I
475
00:22:10.680 --> 00:22:12.119
want that to be my day, and I want it
476
00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:14.160
to be in Austin, and I want my day in
477
00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:16.319
Austin is gonna go. I'm going to wake up and
478
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:18.279
I have a cappuccino. I'm gonna stay your house. I think,
479
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:19.799
by the way, when I got to Austin, I'm gonna
480
00:22:19.799 --> 00:22:20.640
have a cappuccino.
481
00:22:21.079 --> 00:22:23.319
I'm gonna go. I realize I don't spend enough time
482
00:22:23.319 --> 00:22:23.680
with your kids.
483
00:22:23.720 --> 00:22:26.799
I'm gonna have a cappuccino, and then I'm going to
484
00:22:26.920 --> 00:22:30.880
go into the city Tomba and have another cappuccino and
485
00:22:30.920 --> 00:22:33.519
a past three. Then I pick up my two kids
486
00:22:33.559 --> 00:22:36.640
from school. I take them to a shooting range and
487
00:22:36.680 --> 00:22:38.039
we should assault rush.
488
00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:41.119
You go to the shooting range with them, You'll be
489
00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:42.599
their favorite human being.
490
00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:43.240
Ever.
491
00:22:43.400 --> 00:22:45.440
That's all I want to do. It's all I want
492
00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:46.839
to do is hang out with your boys. And I
493
00:22:46.880 --> 00:22:48.519
want Leanne to hang out with your boys with me.
494
00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:51.839
So she sees how much I have a great question
495
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:55.440
for you. Yeah, okay, let's let's pause it. But no,
496
00:22:55.880 --> 00:22:58.240
keep going with where we're going. We're googling something, and
497
00:22:58.279 --> 00:23:00.960
then and then I'll ask you the question. Okay, so
498
00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:03.559
what were we talking about? Part and parcel?
499
00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:07.240
Part and parcel means an essential, integral, or unavoidable component
500
00:23:07.279 --> 00:23:09.720
of something, often highlighting a feature that cannot be separated
501
00:23:09.799 --> 00:23:12.720
from the whole. You'll commonly use to describe necessary, albeit
502
00:23:12.759 --> 00:23:17.160
sometimes unpleasant aspects of a job, life, or situation, as in,
503
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:19.519
stress is part of and is part and parcel of
504
00:23:19.559 --> 00:23:19.920
the job.
505
00:23:20.920 --> 00:23:21.519
That's great?
506
00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:24.880
That is That is such a perfect transition into the
507
00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:28.079
conversation I want to have. Okay, so two things have
508
00:23:28.119 --> 00:23:31.920
happened in my life that are non negotiables, okay, part
509
00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:36.960
and parcel. Leanne moved me out of her room into
510
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:38.960
my own room, and Leanne stopped cooking.
511
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:41.319
Non negotiable. These are great things.
512
00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:44.759
No, no, no, no, no no no. It's an objective. It's objective,
513
00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:46.559
but whether or not, they're great things. But it brought
514
00:23:46.640 --> 00:23:49.880
up but the cooking was a non negotiable. Shit, She's
515
00:23:49.880 --> 00:23:52.039
done cooking. She'll never want to cook again. She's never
516
00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:54.440
liked cooking. She'll cook when she wants to, but don't
517
00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:56.759
ever plan on her cooking me a meal. If she's
518
00:23:56.759 --> 00:24:00.039
making herself something, it's just for her, it's not for
519
00:24:00.039 --> 00:24:03.440
both of us. Okay, got it. She said
that, and
520
00:24:03.480 --> 00:24:06.599
then she said non negotiable. I need to move into
521
00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:09.640
my own room. She's not sleeping at night. It's keeping
522
00:24:09.640 --> 00:24:11.880
her eye. I snore, it keeps her up. I need
523
00:24:11.920 --> 00:24:14.519
to be in my own room. She needs her own room, Tom.
524
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:17.759
She sleeps like a dying old lady. She sleeps with
525
00:24:18.039 --> 00:24:21.119
one of those quilted quilts, like those old lady ones
526
00:24:21.160 --> 00:24:23.240
that you see on top of beds that don't look comfortable,
527
00:24:23.400 --> 00:24:26.039
and they're all rough and bumpy. She sleeps under that,
528
00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:29.200
still folded in half of the top, her hands on top,
529
00:24:29.240 --> 00:24:35.279
and she goes like this. That's how she sleeps. Like
530
00:24:35.839 --> 00:24:39.000
all the windows open, so's natural sunlight wakes her up
531
00:24:39.559 --> 00:24:42.039
six in the fucking morning time. Oh my god. So
532
00:24:42.119 --> 00:24:44.440
now I moved into a cave. I have the guest room.
533
00:24:44.680 --> 00:24:47.880
I've murdered out the windows. I have ac down to
534
00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:51.519
about seventy or about to sixty five. I have no
535
00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:53.799
light coming in, and I play a podcast every night
536
00:24:53.839 --> 00:24:56.519
while I sleep. I fall asleep, I wake up ten
537
00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:59.240
hours clean. I sleep like a god. She's already up
538
00:24:59.279 --> 00:25:03.079
doing fucking life laundry. Anyway, those are the two non negotiables,
539
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:05.799
and I was I was cool with it, and then
540
00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:09.640
I started thinking, what are your non negotiables, as in,
541
00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:12.079
what would you actually say no to?
542
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:12.279
What?
543
00:25:12.440 --> 00:25:15.319
Like if push said, oh, you can never, we'll never
544
00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:18.640
have sex again, then you go, that's a non negotiable. Right,
545
00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:22.000
of course I need to I need that's but where
546
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:24.359
will you draw the line with non negotiables? If she
547
00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:26.480
said I want you to have your own bedroom, would
548
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:27.119
you be cool with it?
549
00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:30.720
Yeah? Okay, yeah right, it's pretty cool. It's rad. I'll
550
00:25:30.759 --> 00:25:33.400
show you my bedroom when you come over. I can't wait, dude,
551
00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:35.559
like cool posters and toys and stuff.
552
00:25:35.720 --> 00:25:38.680
My gun's out, I gotta sign this says no fat
553
00:25:38.759 --> 00:25:39.599
chicks allowed.
554
00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:43.000
On the door. Oh dude, that's so rad. It's so awesome.
555
00:25:43.160 --> 00:25:43.319
You know.
556
00:25:43.640 --> 00:25:46.039
You what Ellis has on his door? What he has
557
00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:50.240
a caricature of Javier Bardam from No Country for Old
558
00:25:50.279 --> 00:25:54.200
Men as Antos Sigor, you know. And I was like, hey,
559
00:25:54.200 --> 00:25:56.359
do you know who that is? He's like, uh, a
560
00:25:56.359 --> 00:25:58.839
fucking cool guy. And I go yeah, that's like a
561
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:01.279
psychopath from a movie. He's like, that's awesome. I go,
562
00:26:01.319 --> 00:26:02.400
where the fuck did you get that?
563
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:05.440
He's like a prendit it up like just on his door.
564
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:11.039
And then Julian yesterday came into my office at home
565
00:26:11.640 --> 00:26:13.279
and I was reading and he goes, oh, I'm gonna
566
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:14.799
bring a chair in here, and I go for what.
567
00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:16.519
He goes, so I can sit in here with you,
568
00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:17.559
and I go okay.
569
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:19.640
So he puts a chair in front of my desk
570
00:26:20.440 --> 00:26:22.240
and then he's like, I'm gonna read too, and I
571
00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:25.200
go all right. And he gets something and then he's
572
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:27.519
like i'll be back, and I'm like okay, and he
573
00:26:27.559 --> 00:26:29.759
comes in and like with a suit jacket on, and
574
00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:31.559
he goes, I have a contract I need you to sign,
575
00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:34.119
and I go what is it. He's like, it just
576
00:26:34.160 --> 00:26:35.880
says that you're gonna give me money for some stuff
577
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:38.359
I do. And I go what are you gonna do?
578
00:26:38.680 --> 00:26:40.440
He goes, I don't know, but I don't want any
579
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:44.559
physical labor, and I go okay, So like what are
580
00:26:44.559 --> 00:26:46.359
you going to do for money? He's like we'll figure
581
00:26:46.359 --> 00:26:48.799
something out, and I go all right, you gotta be
582
00:26:48.839 --> 00:26:51.119
more specific. You want me to sign the contract. He goes,
583
00:26:51.200 --> 00:26:55.440
just fucking sign it. So had I signed a contract?
584
00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:57.279
And I go, can you clean the trash cans?
585
00:26:57.279 --> 00:27:00.720
He goes, I don't do shit like that, and I go, cool,
586
00:27:01.000 --> 00:27:03.480
we have a signed deal in his in his suit.
587
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:08.519
Yeah, so crazy.
588
00:27:08.799 --> 00:27:10.880
Every time I see David Bowie stuff, I want to
589
00:27:10.880 --> 00:27:11.839
buy it for your youngest.
590
00:27:12.279 --> 00:27:14.480
He's so obsessed. I see so much.
591
00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:17.680
David Bowie stuff all the time, Like there's so much
592
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:21.400
stuff at UH at antique shops. I find antique shops like,
593
00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:23.559
but they're always like a two hundred and fifty dollars
594
00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:26.440
shirt and I was like, that's crazy, appreciate it. So
595
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:29.000
what are your nogotiables? If push said you can never
596
00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:29.720
have alcohol again?
597
00:27:29.799 --> 00:27:32.119
Is that it? Would you be cool with it? I
598
00:27:32.200 --> 00:27:34.680
mean I would be like, what's your fucking deal?
599
00:27:34.920 --> 00:27:38.599
I'm not okay, But what if what if she said, okay,
600
00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:39.960
let's start, let's start easy.
601
00:27:40.240 --> 00:27:43.079
I'll never give you another blow job. That's kind of
602
00:27:43.119 --> 00:27:43.839
a non negotiable.
603
00:27:43.960 --> 00:27:49.079
Yeah right, yeah, of course, Okay, Okay, good, I can
604
00:27:49.160 --> 00:27:50.279
I need to move back to l a.
605
00:27:52.319 --> 00:27:57.000
H. That's more like I don't So.
606
00:27:56.920 --> 00:27:58.559
I'm trying to think of the people listening to this
607
00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:01.519
right now. There are dudes who moved back to their
608
00:28:01.559 --> 00:28:04.720
wife's hometown to be around her family, and that was
609
00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:05.359
a negotiable.
610
00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:06.720
They were like, well, I guess I can do that
611
00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:08.000
to me.
612
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:11.480
It's really about the burden of everything that we moved here.
613
00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:13.720
I'd be like, Jesus Christ, do you want to move
614
00:28:13.880 --> 00:28:15.160
everything back to Cali?
615
00:28:15.319 --> 00:28:16.160
Yeah? I don't think some.
616
00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:21.599
Men no, Okay, okay, Now what if she said, what
617
00:28:21.720 --> 00:28:29.000
if she said, I need uh, I gotta fly private.
618
00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:30.440
Everywhere I go? Fuck?
619
00:28:30.599 --> 00:28:34.319
No, yeah, right, no way, dude. This episode is sponsored
620
00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:37.440
by Betterhelp. March includes International Women's Day. So let's take
621
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:41.759
a moment to celebrate women's strength and progress while also
622
00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:45.880
recognizing how much they carry every day. Between caring for
623
00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:51.200
others and managing unseen responsibilities, their emotional wellbeing can easily
624
00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:54.319
be overlooked. We want to remind women how much they
625
00:28:54.359 --> 00:28:57.400
matter and that therapy offers a space for them to
626
00:28:57.519 --> 00:28:59.759
take care of themselves in the way they deserve. And
627
00:28:59.799 --> 00:29:04.240
if it's a really great moment, and don't ever say
628
00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:05.440
that in a fight. I've done that in a fight. Where
629
00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:08.160
go you should talk about this in therapy? That doesn't
630
00:29:08.200 --> 00:29:10.680
work that way. But there is a space where you
631
00:29:10.759 --> 00:29:13.720
do go through stuff with your spouse, with my wife
632
00:29:14.279 --> 00:29:17.720
and with Leanne, and I will kind of earmark things
633
00:29:17.759 --> 00:29:19.480
and be like, yo, this is a good therapy thing,
634
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:22.079
Like this is and sometimes it's the thing she doesn't
635
00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:25.079
see that she's just kind of burdening over and over
636
00:29:25.119 --> 00:29:28.519
and over again. And I'll kind of earmark it. And
637
00:29:28.559 --> 00:29:32.400
if your wife's not therapy, it's a great gift. Just
638
00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:34.319
be like, yo, get into therapy. Like I'm not always
639
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:37.240
right and I'm not always on spot, like i don't
640
00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:38.960
know what I'm doing. I'm and I can listen, but
641
00:29:38.960 --> 00:29:42.079
I'm not the best that listens. Therapists are the best
642
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listeners around. Better Help therapists work according to a strict
643
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644
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Betterhelp does the initial matching work so you can focus
645
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647
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650
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704
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But there's women. There are women that I follow on Instagram.
705
00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:09.160
I gotta stop following these women. They're gonna figure out
706
00:33:09.160 --> 00:33:13.519
who the fuck they are. Yeah, yeah, they do that.
707
00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:15.599
That's crazy. I think that's a crazy expense.
708
00:33:16.119 --> 00:33:22.200
There are women and who almost look at their comfort
709
00:33:22.279 --> 00:33:26.599
as a non negotiable, their comfort as a female, and
710
00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:28.680
you are to provide for them as a male. Now,
711
00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:31.000
we've never been trained to see that in sitcom because
712
00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:33.440
it's always the fat loser who has the check. And
713
00:33:33.480 --> 00:33:38.000
then like shows like free birt But uh, but I
714
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:39.599
just said halfway through that, I was like, I think
715
00:33:39.599 --> 00:33:43.480
I'm describing my own show, but you but you look
716
00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:46.559
at what's out online and it's all these women who
717
00:33:46.599 --> 00:33:50.400
are done up, who have nice cars and have expensive
718
00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:53.720
shit and you and they're non negotiables, are like I
719
00:33:53.759 --> 00:33:54.920
need a guy to take care.
720
00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:57.480
Of me, and yeah, that shit is that's so gross.
721
00:33:57.599 --> 00:34:00.720
I mean, like, thank god that we didn't end up
722
00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:03.279
in something like that, like no, that's the worst man,
723
00:34:03.559 --> 00:34:06.599
like where the trade off is like, yeah, I'm with you,
724
00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:09.239
but this shit better be fucking nice.
725
00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:12.119
Twenty four step like thinking of the guys. Think of
726
00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:16.840
the guys who have hemorrhaged their life. They've just mortgaged
727
00:34:16.880 --> 00:34:19.599
out everything to keep their chick happy.
728
00:34:19.559 --> 00:34:23.639
With like by buying her, Yeah, that's horrible. By buying
729
00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:26.159
its horrible. I think that's horrible. I've seen that.
730
00:34:26.320 --> 00:34:30.760
I remember I remember like, oh my god, one of
731
00:34:30.800 --> 00:34:34.679
the first acting classes I ever took in LA had
732
00:34:34.719 --> 00:34:38.159
all these like women that were like not serious about it,
733
00:34:38.360 --> 00:34:40.639
but they were just taking this class and they were
734
00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:44.320
all like kept women but like by bel air guys,
735
00:34:44.599 --> 00:34:47.480
you know, and it was clearly like already we were
736
00:34:47.719 --> 00:34:48.760
I mean I was in my twenties.
737
00:34:48.800 --> 00:34:53.039
And they already had like facelifts and tit jobs and
738
00:34:54.159 --> 00:34:56.280
crazy cars and you know what I mean, Like it
739
00:34:56.400 --> 00:34:59.400
was all just like a thing where the guy the
740
00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:02.440
guy was thirty years older and that was the trade off.
741
00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:04.559
Like I'll look hot and you buy me nice stuff.
742
00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:05.679
It's it's gross.
743
00:35:06.760 --> 00:35:08.280
It would be kind of cool if you could like
744
00:35:08.920 --> 00:35:12.480
go to like impoverished countries and you can keep a
745
00:35:12.519 --> 00:35:13.039
woman there.
746
00:35:13.159 --> 00:35:16.119
Oh you can? That would be you want to do that?
747
00:35:16.119 --> 00:35:18.920
That'd be a fun bit. Why does it for the show?
748
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:22.840
Let's it would be a fun reality show Kept Women,
749
00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:25.000
Kept women? And I think we could do it for
750
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:27.880
like one hundred bucks a month. I was I was
751
00:35:27.960 --> 00:35:29.920
really no, lie, I was thinking about twenty five grand
752
00:35:29.960 --> 00:35:30.239
a year.
753
00:35:30.760 --> 00:35:33.440
Oh way less, wait less, And the trade off could
754
00:35:33.480 --> 00:35:35.679
be like, okay, I just want you to put photos
755
00:35:35.719 --> 00:35:39.239
of me up all over your house, you know what
756
00:35:39.280 --> 00:35:42.079
I mean, and say like have a shrine to me,
757
00:35:42.239 --> 00:35:46.320
pray to me in the mornings, you know, and then
758
00:35:46.519 --> 00:35:49.159
like have your family cook a dinner and pretend that
759
00:35:49.199 --> 00:35:50.039
I'm there and they.
760
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:51.599
Have like a blow up to all of you there.
761
00:35:51.880 --> 00:35:55.159
How fun would that vacation be to be so show
762
00:35:55.239 --> 00:35:58.519
up and we're not going to stay at our house.
763
00:35:58.519 --> 00:35:59.880
I got us a hotel for the weekend at the
764
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:03.039
More Seasons, and then you bring your family there and
765
00:36:03.079 --> 00:36:04.239
they're like, who is this? You're like, what was kind
766
00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:07.400
of my wife? But it's here in the Philippines.
767
00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:10.079
I knew a dude. I knew a dude who.
768
00:36:11.559 --> 00:36:14.079
I hope it doesn't get to him because it's gonna
769
00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:15.880
sound shitty, But I hope he knows that this is
770
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:19.400
what really happened. He was married to a regular check, right,
771
00:36:19.559 --> 00:36:23.679
like a regular check, Like let's paint out regular like
772
00:36:23.679 --> 00:36:29.119
like about one sixty five to five, okay, not the
773
00:36:29.119 --> 00:36:30.079
most beautiful
check.
774
00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:31.760
Okay, nice? Yeah.
775
00:36:32.159 --> 00:36:35.079
Uh, I really hope he never hears this, like uh
776
00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:39.119
and and and he wasn't he was not attractive.
777
00:36:39.199 --> 00:36:41.760
He was not attractive. I think they're starting to see
778
00:36:41.800 --> 00:36:42.599
the picture you're painting.
779
00:36:42.639 --> 00:36:44.639
They're like, huh, I wish I could send you a
780
00:36:44.679 --> 00:36:46.880
picture of him so you knew how unattractive. Like if
781
00:36:46.920 --> 00:36:50.599
you said we got it, cookie cutter, mid middle class
782
00:36:50.639 --> 00:36:53.679
American white male, this is that guy.
783
00:36:53.719 --> 00:36:54.360
Okay.
784
00:36:56.360 --> 00:37:00.679
With his unattractive wife got it. And and he got
785
00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:05.760
a job working for like a big production company.
786
00:37:07.239 --> 00:37:09.559
He definitely knows what you're talking about him now, Okay, okay,
787
00:37:09.679 --> 00:37:11.599
edit that out. Edit that out, Okay, edit that out.
788
00:37:12.760 --> 00:37:15.280
He went on a trip to the and decided he
789
00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:24.119
was going to work, and he married a ten a ten,
790
00:37:24.480 --> 00:37:27.239
and he got rid, divorced his wife. Yeah, got rid
791
00:37:27.239 --> 00:37:30.480
of his life here, and he lives there now Hill
792
00:37:31.320 --> 00:37:33.760
Still he still there. He sends Christmas cards every now
793
00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:36.880
and then with him and his family, and they're all
794
00:37:36.920 --> 00:37:39.559
in the same shirt, and he is he sticks out
795
00:37:40.039 --> 00:37:44.679
so aggressively, of course, of course, but he traded his
796
00:37:44.760 --> 00:37:49.840
life here to be a millionaire with one of the
797
00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:52.119
hotter women I've ever seen in my entire life.
798
00:37:52.199 --> 00:37:54.239
I mean, I think this is a path that a
799
00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:57.320
lot of people, more like a substantial number of people
800
00:37:57.360 --> 00:38:02.760
take this path, especially like middle age frustrated, you know
801
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:05.320
where they go like this is just not panning out,
802
00:38:05.320 --> 00:38:07.840
and it's like, yeah, you can take what you've got
803
00:38:08.119 --> 00:38:11.280
to a more underdeveloped place and be like a king.
804
00:38:11.719 --> 00:38:13.559
I think it's quite appealing to a lot of people.
805
00:38:13.559 --> 00:38:16.599
Man, So can you bleep out certain words so it's
806
00:38:16.599 --> 00:38:18.639
not clear, because it'll he'll know it's sham when I
807
00:38:18.639 --> 00:38:22.199
say this. Right before he left Tom, him and his wife,
808
00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:28.440
we're gonna sell everything and and that was going to
809
00:38:28.480 --> 00:38:30.039
be his life. And he was drinking with me and
810
00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:32.679
he was like, I mean, I guess that's
a good move, right,
811
00:38:33.280 --> 00:38:36.440
And then he takes one trip to me and he's
812
00:38:36.519 --> 00:38:39.360
and he's like this is insane, and he's like, my
813
00:38:39.440 --> 00:38:42.960
money goes so far. And then he finds out that
814
00:38:43.079 --> 00:38:48.480
his job could be transferred there, divorces his wife, moves it,
815
00:38:48.519 --> 00:38:53.960
gets a fucking high paying job, lives like Dan Blazarian.
816
00:38:54.400 --> 00:38:59.079
Yeah, he's just living it up and he's still two
817
00:38:59.559 --> 00:39:01.920
pound happier than shit probably.
818
00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:05.480
Never had in his life. Like just the fucking do
819
00:39:05.519 --> 00:39:06.559
you still chat with him?
820
00:39:06.719 --> 00:39:07.760
Someone? Every now and then?
821
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:09.440
Every now and then I'll get a tech I get
822
00:39:09.440 --> 00:39:12.880
a Christmas card from him, but uh, I think he
823
00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:17.840
someone cuts his yard with scissors. Like it's so wait,
824
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:20.960
here's the question right now, and this is gonna come
825
00:39:21.000 --> 00:39:25.519
off a little odd. So like, clearly, for like twenty
826
00:39:25.519 --> 00:39:28.480
five grand, you can get the hottest chicken, or we
827
00:39:28.519 --> 00:39:31.800
can start upgrading right and go now, how much is
828
00:39:31.920 --> 00:39:33.280
hottest chicken Ireland cost?
829
00:39:33.599 --> 00:39:35.079
How much is the hottest chicken?
830
00:39:35.559 --> 00:39:37.719
I mean, clearly there's parts of Africa where it's even
831
00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:39.920
less than twenty five grand, but you get like a
832
00:39:40.039 --> 00:39:44.079
fucking bad bitch who's like five eleven darke as fuck,
833
00:39:44.599 --> 00:39:46.119
like just beautiful features.
834
00:39:46.239 --> 00:39:47.760
It's just whatever your taste is. Man.
835
00:39:47.840 --> 00:39:50.360
No, no, no, no, no, I want to see greatest
836
00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:52.440
price point, Like what do you think the ratest price point?
837
00:39:52.519 --> 00:39:54.960
Because Russia is a fucking great one. Are we discussing
838
00:39:55.119 --> 00:39:56.320
human trafficking right now?
839
00:39:56.559 --> 00:39:59.039
No? No, no, that's not a good topic for me
840
00:39:59.079 --> 00:40:02.039
these days. Okay, what that's a Is that a soft
841
00:40:02.119 --> 00:40:04.760
spot for you? It's it's it's been, it's been what
842
00:40:04.800 --> 00:40:08.440
we call it? Would we talk about that? No? No,
843
00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:11.159
what you say it list?
844
00:40:11.400 --> 00:40:15.239
Nope, you're on the EE files.
845
00:40:16.639 --> 00:40:18.280
You are. You're a result. You know that, right?
846
00:40:19.840 --> 00:40:23.079
Do pull up the Epstein files search. Shut up, We've
847
00:40:23.079 --> 00:40:23.800
already done it.
848
00:40:24.440 --> 00:40:26.280
I know I'm not on the you are? You are
849
00:40:26.320 -->
00:40:30.159
in the files? No, I'm not. You are in the files.
850
00:40:30.440 --> 00:40:32.719
Make me It would make me low key so excited
851
00:40:32.719 --> 00:40:34.480
if I was in the anc.
852
00:40:35.719 --> 00:40:38.239
You are a result from the Epstein search. Pull up thing.
853
00:40:38.559 --> 00:40:40.559
No, I'm not pull up where you can say much
854
00:40:40.599 --> 00:40:44.800
on the file. Hold on, Okay, you're making this up.
855
00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:48.400
I'm not kidding, dude. Okay, do the do the search
856
00:40:48.480 --> 00:40:50.400
type in Bert Kreischer. See if there's a result.
857
00:40:54.320 --> 00:40:58.440
There's a result right there. Yeah.
858
00:40:59.039 --> 00:41:09.840
March two thousand, hit the pdf see subject What does
859
00:41:09.880 --> 00:41:10.280
it say?
860
00:41:11.079 --> 00:41:14.480
I don't know it's there there, Bert Kreischer, Comedy Central Special,
861
00:41:14.519 --> 00:41:15.800
Travel Channel, Bert the conquer Trip.
862
00:41:15.880 --> 00:41:19.840
You're in the files. He was watching my travel channel shows.
863
00:41:19.960 --> 00:41:20.760
I don't know. I guess he was.
864
00:41:20.800 --> 00:41:23.519
Maybe he was considering going to a show. That's kind
865
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:25.559
of something you could put in your hype video before
866
00:41:25.599 --> 00:41:28.840
people come up, before you come on stage, is like
867
00:41:29.519 --> 00:41:35.400
record the screen being searched and then be like bam. Yeah,
868
00:41:34.840 --> 00:41:37.480
he knew he and then put those dates in. Maybe
869
00:41:37.480 --> 00:41:39.360
he was looking to go to a show. Maybe it
870
00:41:39.440 --> 00:41:43.920
was a fan. That's kind of cool. Bert the Conqueror Triplet. Yeah,
871
00:41:43.960 --> 00:41:44.599
he knows who you are.
872
00:41:44.679 --> 00:41:47.760
Dude. March twenty first to twenty third, what year? I
873
00:41:47.800 --> 00:41:48.119
bet you?
874
00:41:48.119 --> 00:41:49.440
It was like, I bet you. He was like, what
875
00:41:49.480 --> 00:41:51.159
are we doing this date? And they were like, oh,
876
00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:53.119
the twenty first you want to go see Burt Kreischer.
877
00:41:53.840 --> 00:41:57.719
This isn't real. Four. This is the this is the
878
00:41:57.760 --> 00:42:02.599
Department of Justice website. Dude, this is Instein. Yeah, you're
879
00:42:02.599 --> 00:42:07.679
in the Epstein files. You are, man. I thought you'd
880
00:42:07.679 --> 00:42:08.719
be super on top of that.
881
00:42:10.079 --> 00:42:14.400
Do you you know that I would have clearly befriended
882
00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:17.079
Jeffrey Epstein he had reached out.
883
00:42:17.119 --> 00:42:18.280
If he had reached out, I would have.
884
00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:20.199
If he'd been like, do you want to get on
885
00:42:20.199 --> 00:42:23.639
my plane, You'd be like, yeah, would you like to
886
00:42:23.639 --> 00:42:23.800
go to.
887
00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:26.360
A private island?
One hundred percent? Yeah.
888
00:42:26.559 --> 00:42:29.320
People like sometimes people put cameras. Other people are like, oh,
889
00:42:29.320 --> 00:42:32.679
I'm just gonna hide. You'd be like, I would have everything.
890
00:42:33.639 --> 00:42:35.639
I would have been in every picture. I really and
891
00:42:35.719 --> 00:42:39.800
I'm mean serious, I would have I don't know how
892
00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:42.159
many people like That's why when they look at the
893
00:42:42.159 --> 00:42:44.880
list and they're like, this person flew with Jeffrey Epstein,
894
00:42:45.079 --> 00:42:49.000
Like Chris Tucker flew everywhere with Jeffrey Epstein and he
895
00:42:49.079 --> 00:42:50.480
was like, I don't know, man, I just got on
896
00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:53.639
a private jefts Africa, And I'm like, I would have
897
00:42:53.760 --> 00:42:56.519
definitely been one of those people for sure. Would you
898
00:42:56.559 --> 00:42:58.840
be one if Jeffrey Epstein asked you to fly private
899
00:42:58.880 --> 00:43:01.480
with him to an island? Would you have gone, Hey, listen,
900
00:43:01.519 --> 00:43:02.920
I'm a big fan of your mom's house.
901
00:43:03.480 --> 00:43:07.000
Yeah, are you that's weird? Can I tell you who
902
00:43:07.039 --> 00:43:10.920
the one weird one is that Joe said no to
903
00:43:11.119 --> 00:43:14.119
He said no to having him on the podcast.
904
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:17.199
Oh, I thought he said no to hanging out with him.
905
00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:19.039
Maybe hanging out, but also they wanted I think they
906
00:43:19.079 --> 00:43:20.840
wanted to get him, they wanted to have us, right,
907
00:43:20.840 --> 00:43:22.840
You're right, I think they wanted to have Somebody was
908
00:43:22.840 --> 00:43:25.039
trying to get him to have lunch and then it
909
00:43:25.079 --> 00:43:29.280
was like have lunch with him and Woody Allen and.
910
00:43:28.480 --> 00:43:30.920
He was like no. And I feel like they wanted
911
00:43:30.960 --> 00:43:33.119
to do the podcast too. I don't remember.
912
00:43:33.960 --> 00:43:36.440
Yes, she said no, Joe said no without knowing that
913
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:38.320
he was was just like, nah, I'm good.
914
00:43:38.679 --> 00:43:40.679
Yeah, He's like that for a lot.
915
00:43:41.239 --> 00:43:43.440
There's a lot of bad people that could get you
916
00:43:44.159 --> 00:43:48.079
like what I mean, I mean they The question is
917
00:43:48.320 --> 00:43:50.400
if you were at UFC and Trump tried to shake
918
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:52.360
your hand and there were cameras around, would you shake
919
00:43:52.360 --> 00:43:52.719
his hand?
920
00:43:54.039 --> 00:44:01.000
That's rough, I mean, I can't stand him. It's funnier
921
00:44:01.000 --> 00:44:05.559
to be like you're I mean that that would be
922
00:44:05.599 --> 00:44:08.000
so funny if you if somebody was like hey, and you're.
923
00:44:07.840 --> 00:44:10.360
Like, I'm good with the best one. This is the
924
00:44:10.360
--> 00:44:12.639
best one, Tom. Yeah, as you go yeah, and then
925
00:44:12.679 --> 00:44:15.599
you go like this you go, hey, if you had
926
00:44:15.639 --> 00:44:16.840
done that, you'd go viral.
927
00:44:17.039 --> 00:44:21.480
Yeah, yeah, viral suck. For sure.
928
00:44:24.519 --> 00:44:26.639
My dad would kill me if I showed canceled Trump,
929
00:44:26.719 --> 00:44:27.800
my dad would murder me.
930
00:44:27.880 --> 00:44:28.199
He would.
931
00:44:28.280 --> 00:44:31.199
He would have a real problem with me. Really yeah,
932
00:44:31.239 --> 00:44:36.920
I would totally shake cancel Trump a sitting president, of course.
933
00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:40.079
And you'd also you would also big smile and be
934
00:44:40.199 --> 00:44:42.760
like I love you, bro. You would be like, take
935
00:44:42.760 --> 00:44:45.000
the shirt off. I go, it's coming off, sir. What
936
00:44:45.039 --> 00:44:46.719
do you need? I got into a deep dive on
937
00:44:46.800 --> 00:44:50.119
marl Largo. Yeah, is mar A Largo, mar a Lago,
938
00:44:50.559 --> 00:44:54.639
mar a Lagi, mar a Lago. Yeah. So do you
939
00:44:54.679 --> 00:44:58.639
know Trump made a killing on that place? No? I
940
00:44:58.639 --> 00:45:00.360
didn't know that. So yeah.
941
00:45:00.960 --> 00:45:04.480
The lady that built it was Meriweather Post. She's an
942
00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:07.800
heir to the Post, to the Post serial fortune. She
943
00:45:07.920 --> 00:45:14.480
built it so that dignitarities and actresses and athlettes, dignitarities, dignitarities.
944
00:45:14.519 --> 00:45:16.239
I think there's an excell tee in there, Okay.
945
00:45:16.880 --> 00:45:19.360
And so she built it for like twenty million in
946
00:45:19.440 --> 00:45:22.480
the fucking twenties, thirties whatever.
947
00:45:23.280 --> 00:45:24.599
Trump bought it for like eight.
948
00:45:25.559 --> 00:45:28.440
Really Trump bought it for eight or ten, and then
949
00:45:28.480 --> 00:45:31.079
he found out there was like five million dollars worth
950
00:45:31.079 --> 00:45:33.880
of art inside there, so he got five million dollars
951
00:45:33.920 --> 00:45:37.280
worth of art leverage. That here's the problem. Trump couldn't
952
00:45:37.360 --> 00:45:42.480
keep the daily cost of keeping Marl Largo up and running,
953
00:45:43.159 --> 00:45:44.920
and they were only give him like one hundred thousand
954
00:45:44.920 --> 00:45:46.559
dollars a year to keep it up and running. So
955
00:45:46.639 --> 00:45:48.360
that's why he turned it into a country club. You
956
00:45:48.360 --> 00:45:50.360
want to talk about what a gangster move Trump did.
957
00:45:50.920 --> 00:45:53.440
He knew he was competing with all the other country
958
00:45:53.440 --> 00:45:56.840
clubs in Palm Beach. So what he did is he goes,
959
00:45:57.840 --> 00:46:01.960
I got something they can't argue against. I'm allowing blacks, gays,
960
00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:05.280
and Jews in this country club. And fucking was almost
961
00:46:05.320 --> 00:46:08.960
like what the fuck? And he really take it up
962
00:46:09.000 --> 00:46:12.559
with the ACLU. And then and that's and twenty five
963
00:46:12.559 --> 00:46:14.800
grand was twenty five grand initially to join mar A Lago.
964
00:46:15.159 --> 00:46:18.880
It's way more now twenty five Yeah. I did like
965
00:46:18.920 --> 00:46:20.519
a deep dive on it. I was, I was curious
966
00:46:20.519 --> 00:46:23.400
about it. But he made a killing on that fucking place.
967
00:46:23.639 --> 00:46:26.440
It says that the negotiation tactic he was was that
968
00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:29.719
he initially offered to buy it for fifteen million, was rejected.
969
00:46:30.119 --> 00:46:32.960
Then bought the nearby beachfront land for two million and
970
00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:34.320
threatened to build a house.
971
00:46:34.079 --> 00:46:35.400
That would block the ocean view.
972
00:46:35.840 --> 00:46:39.079
Yeah, driving down the price of the property, and then
973
00:46:39.280 --> 00:46:43.599
ended up purchased for ten million eighty five, which is
974
00:46:44.079 --> 00:46:44.840
to thirty today.
975
00:46:45.159 --> 00:46:50.039
Our president said publicly he got it for eight. That's
976
00:46:50.079 --> 00:46:52.480
what the news does, fake media. Well, that's right.
977
00:46:52.559 --> 00:46:54.760
Sure, Well it says he got five million for the mansion,
978
00:46:54.800 --> 00:46:57.840
three million for the furnishings, two million for the adjacent
979
00:46:57.880 --> 00:47:00.519
beachfront land. The two looks like it was seven, So
980
00:47:00.960 --> 00:47:02.199
I think you're right it's eight.
981
00:47:02.760 --> 00:47:03.280
Yeah.
982
00:47:03.320 --> 00:47:06.800
But uh, I've been really into documentaries lady lately. When
983
00:47:06.840 --> 00:47:08.199
I write, before I go to bed, I turn on
984
00:47:08.280 --> 00:47:11.880
a documentary and that was a good one, and look
985
00:47:12.360 --> 00:47:13.880
open it to Jews and Blacks.
986
00:47:16.559 --> 00:47:20.559
This guy he's so insane. Dude, we're gonna miss him,
987
00:47:20.800 --> 00:47:26.400
you think so. Yeah. The entertainment value, Yeah, he's entertaining. Yeah.
988
00:47:26.519 --> 00:47:30.159
I mean it's it's you know, you know, I'll tell
989
00:47:30.159 --> 00:47:35.360
you what I said this about George Bush Junior is
990
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:38.800
when he was president, everyone thought, you forget how much
991
00:47:38.920 --> 00:47:40.039
everyone hated.
992
00:47:39.840 --> 00:47:41.000
Him, Yeah, so much.
993
00:47:41.360 --> 00:47:44.639
And I said, we're gonna miss him. Yeah, it just
994
00:47:44.719 --> 00:47:48.000
gets worse. If you're into crazy ex girlfriends, they just
995
00:47:48.079 --> 00:47:51.960
get crazier. We're not going We're not we'll go back.
996
00:47:52.079 --> 00:47:55.519
We'll have one or two normies, but we're gonna. We're gonna.
997
00:47:55.599 --> 00:47:59.639
It's gonna get even think about what
social media is
998
00:47:59.679 --> 00:48:03.119
and what online. There's dudes online, straight up white dudes,
999
00:48:03.159 --> 00:48:06.039
straight up saying the N word, like and and going
1000
00:48:06.079 --> 00:48:07.880
like I don't do what are you gonna do? Cancel me?
1001
00:48:08.480 --> 00:48:11.119
I don't care, fuck it, fuck you. And that is
1002
00:48:11.159 --> 00:48:14.880
the future of the youth. The youth is the youth's off.
1003
00:48:14.960 --> 00:48:19.239
And I think it's everyone's microdosing and eating edibles and
1004
00:48:19.239 --> 00:48:23.719
and and doing BPC one fifty seven and optimizing their
1005
00:48:23.800 --> 00:48:25.599
sleep and and they're all online.
1006
00:48:25.639 --> 00:48:26.320
No one's living.
1007
00:48:26.360 --> 00:48:29.039
Everyone's like right here, but no one's out fucking meeting
1008
00:48:29.039 --> 00:48:30.840
anyone or sitting at a bar and telling a fucking
1009
00:48:30.920 --> 00:48:31.840
lie like like.
1010
00:48:31.880 --> 00:48:32.920
Old school dudes.
1011
00:48:33.239 --> 00:48:35.960
Yeah, well, I do think people are gonna get way crazier.
1012
00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:37.239
You're right on that, like.
1013
00:48:37.519 --> 00:48:40.239
And we're gonna look back and go I mark my
1014
00:48:40.280 --> 00:48:42.719
words because I said it with J jd J.
1015
00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:50.159
George. How much do you miss GW He was great?
1016
00:48:50.400 --> 00:48:52.840
I miss him? Yeah, right, And think of there's not
1017
00:48:52.960 --> 00:48:53.440
one Perton.
1018
00:48:53.440 --> 00:48:55.760
I bet Janine Garofflow would be like, god man, I
1019
00:48:55.800 --> 00:48:59.119
missed George Bush Junior, whatever, Jock, goddamn, why can't I
1020
00:48:59.119 --> 00:48:59.360
talk to you?
1021
00:48:59.599 --> 00:49:00.679
George W J.
1022
00:49:00.880 --> 00:49:03.280
Dubb look at him and now he gives worthers. He
1023
00:49:03.360 --> 00:49:07.639
gives he gives worthers. Tom, not Kamala Harris. I should
1024
00:49:07.679 --> 00:49:15.079
stop talking, Okay, not CONDI Rice. Who's the fucking I
1025
00:49:15.199 --> 00:49:19.519
just named two black chicks. I don't know who you're
1026
00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:20.119
talking about.
1027
00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:22.000
Obama Michelle Obama.
1028
00:49:22.480 --> 00:49:27.400
He gives worthers to her funerals and he's like, hey, hey, Michelle,
1029
00:49:27.760 --> 00:49:31.719
I want a little She's like, g dub, you're so good.
1030
00:49:32.920 --> 00:49:35.039
And then he gives her a Worthers and he was like, hey,
1031
00:49:35.039 --> 00:49:35.760
you want to hear a joke.
1032
00:49:36.360 --> 00:49:38.559
Now he seems like the smartest guy in the world
1033
00:49:38.599 --> 00:49:46.840
next to Trump. This guy, I mean, he's I.
1034
00:49:43.239 --> 00:49:47.039
Mean, and and the kids these days that now agree
1035
00:49:47.039 --> 00:49:49.280
with communism, and you look at the fucking you look
1036
00:49:49.280 --> 00:49:52.400
at the left, and the left is is literally run
1037
00:49:52.440 --> 00:49:56.639
by fucking lunatics who are lighting fucking bombs and throwing
1038
00:49:56.639 --> 00:50:00.199
bombs in New York and fucking punching its. I mean,
1039
00:50:00.239 --> 00:50:04.519
it's like it's insanity. It's insanity and I and the
1040
00:50:04.639 --> 00:50:06.639
pendulum doesn't right itself and gets you go back to
1041
00:50:06.639 --> 00:50:08.920
the center. The pendulum swings hard as fuck. That's the
1042
00:50:08.920 --> 00:50:09.920
way the world works.
1043
00:50:10.119 --> 00:50:14.840
Yeah, yeah, you're right. Did you think like this is interesting?
1044
00:50:15.119 --> 00:50:18.079
I haven't really dove into this. Can you pull up
1045
00:50:18.760 --> 00:50:19.960
Dahmer's mom's thing.
1046
00:50:20.840 --> 00:50:21.039
What?
1047
00:50:21.840 --> 00:50:29.519
Yeah, Jeffrey Dahmer's mom. She said that her son didn't
1048
00:50:29.599 --> 00:50:31.960
hurt his victims, and I kind of want to. I
1049
00:50:31.960 --> 00:50:35.000
think it's an important thing to really dive into because
1050
00:50:35.039 --> 00:50:38.440
I always said that people talk too much shit about Dahmer.
1051
00:50:38.719 --> 00:50:43.840
You know, yeah, he wasn't He was a little knucklehead,
1052
00:50:43.840 --> 00:50:46.599
but he wasn't like you know, so he killed them,
1053
00:50:46.599 --> 00:50:48.679
but he never tried to hurt them, that's what she said.
1054
00:50:49.320 --> 00:50:51.079
And I think it's a good point.
1055
00:50:51.119 --> 00:50:55.079
You know that he was he was just doing what
1056
00:50:55.440 --> 00:50:57.719
he did, but he wasn't like, he didn't hurt them
1057
00:50:57.840 --> 00:50:59.199
physically or hurt their feelings.
1058
00:50:59.239 --> 00:51:01.960
You know, I think he just ended their lives. He
1059
00:51:02.119 --> 00:51:03.239
was not a bad guy.
1060
00:51:03.639 --> 00:51:07.360
Wait, wait, hold on, there's the one story of the
1061
00:51:07.360 --> 00:51:09.440
one kid with the hammer in his head that ran
1062
00:51:09.519 --> 00:51:10.079
down the bar.
1063
00:51:11.079 --> 00:51:13.440
He drilled the hole, drilled in his head. I think
1064
00:51:13.480 --> 00:51:16.000
that hurt. You're right, And I don't know what she
1065
00:51:16.039 --> 00:51:19.119
would say to that. That'd be an interesting thing to
1066
00:51:19.559 --> 00:51:20.639
go back to him on.
1067
00:51:20.880 --> 00:51:23.000
He drilled into someone's head while they were alive, and
1068
00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:25.440
then that person ran to a bar and got cops.
1069
00:51:25.440 --> 00:51:29.400
And then it was the Joey Diaz's joke, who are
1070
00:51:29.400 --> 00:51:32.000
they gonna believe me? Or a chick with a black
1071
00:51:32.039 --> 00:51:34.880
guy and a wig? A dude with a black guy
1072
00:51:34.880 --> 00:51:35.360
at a wig.
1073
00:51:35.960 --> 00:51:42.360
So this is a t into Christopher Wilder. What is this? Oh?
1074
00:51:42.559
--> 00:51:50.159
Okay, he's this is a different person that he's talking about.
1075
00:51:51.159 --> 00:51:54.159
Okay a psychologist? Is there any more? As she just
1076
00:51:54.199 --> 00:51:56.079
said that? Okay?
1077
00:51:57.159 --> 00:52:03.320
Yeah, well you know again, I like to remember Jeffrey
1078
00:52:03.360 --> 00:52:05.800
as more than just a serial killer.
1079
00:52:05.840 --> 00:52:08.039
You know he's dead, right, Yeah, he's dead. He got
1080
00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:11.320
killed in prison. I bet that was a fucking scary
1081
00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:11.760
way to go.
1082
00:52:12.360 --> 00:52:14.400
The way he died in prison. Yeah, he got I
1083
00:52:14.400 --> 00:52:16.360
think it was beat with a broomstick to death. I'm
1084
00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:17.719
sure they shoved it up his asshole.
1085
00:52:18.519 --> 00:52:19.800
They actually, I believe they did.
1086
00:52:19.960 --> 00:52:23.559
Yeah, they had to. Yeah, there was one guy who
1087
00:52:23.599 --> 00:52:27.920
was already in for murder. He was like, well, what
1088
00:52:27.960 --> 00:52:29.400
have I got to lose, you know.
1089
00:52:29.360 --> 00:52:29.599
I was.
1090
00:52:29.679 --> 00:52:31.239
I was next to a ninety five year old woman
1091
00:52:31.280 --> 00:52:34.159
on a flight yesterday coming in and we had to
1092
00:52:34.159 --> 00:52:36.480
do a aborted boarded.
1093
00:52:36.199 --> 00:52:38.039
Landing, so we had to take off.
1094
00:52:38.039 --> 00:52:40.920
It's amazing how quick those planes are when they punch it,
1095
00:52:42.559 --> 00:52:44.039
and and she got scared.
1096
00:52:44.599 --> 00:52:47.559
Really, she was ninety five. How are you with flying now?
1097
00:52:47.679 --> 00:52:48.920
Still scared? Yeah?
1098
00:52:48.920 --> 00:52:51.039
I was scared yesterday when we had bought the landing.
1099
00:52:51.079 --> 00:52:53.519
But I'm a little better. My anxiety has been pretty
1100
00:52:53.519 --> 00:52:54.239
good without.
1101
00:52:54.000 --> 00:52:56.800
Him to abort the landing. Yeah, what do you mean
1102
00:52:57.360 --> 00:53:01.079
like we had to take back off? Really? Yeah? How come?
1103
00:53:01.519 --> 00:53:03.760
Like we went and almost touchdown and then it just
1104
00:53:03.760 --> 00:53:05.920
took off because there was a plane on the tarmac.
1105
00:53:06.239 --> 00:53:09.119
Oh did they announce it? They're like, oh, nope, they
1106
00:53:09.199 --> 00:53:11.199
just did it. They just did it. We were like
1107
00:53:11.599 --> 00:53:12.159
right in La.
1108
00:53:12.239 --> 00:53:13.480
You know when you get to La where you get
1109
00:53:13.480 --> 00:53:14.920
to like the safe part where you're looking at the
1110
00:53:15.239 --> 00:53:19.880
the the all the warehouses and the parking structures and
1111
00:53:19.920 --> 00:53:22.599
the parking cars and then you're like, oh, I'm home
1112
00:53:22.719 --> 00:53:25.400
and you and we got there and it just went
1113
00:53:25.880 --> 00:53:28.079
and
we flew out over the ocean like we're going
1114
00:53:28.079 --> 00:53:30.400
to Hawaii and then we didn't turn around. We didn't
1115
00:53:30.400 --> 00:53:32.280
turn around for a while, and I was like, and
1116
00:53:32.320 --> 00:53:35.639
no one said anything. And she was ninety five. She
1117
00:53:35.679 --> 00:53:38.880
was sitting next to me and she was nervous, and
1118
00:53:38.920 --> 00:53:41.920
I was like, ninety five, what are you nervous for? Yeah,
1119
00:53:42.079 --> 00:53:43.840
and you can get it into her second yeah. But
1120
00:53:43.920 --> 00:53:45.679
she looked at me and she goes, this is scary,
1121
00:53:46.199 --> 00:53:48.679
and I was like, for me, I still have like
1122
00:53:49.000 --> 00:53:52.840
thirty good years for you. You got two. Wouldn't you
1123
00:53:52.880 --> 00:53:54.880
rather go out in a plane crash at ninety five?
1124
00:53:55.280 --> 00:53:57.000
It would be awesome. Yeah.
1125
00:53:57.119 --> 00:53:59.480
It reminds me of the story of Stacy's grandmother. Was
1126
00:54:00.320 --> 00:54:02.559
Stacy who works here. I hate that I bring this
1127
00:54:02.639 --> 00:54:04.960
up all the time and it makes me giggle. She
1128
00:54:05.079 --> 00:54:06.480
called me up one time she goes, hey, I can't
1129
00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:08.519
come to work today, and I said why. She goes,
1130
00:54:08.519 --> 00:54:10.000
my grandmother died and no one. Oh my god, I'm
1131
00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:12.440
so sorry. She goes, no, I know, it's just I
1132
00:54:12.440 --> 00:54:14.320
said how old was she? She goes, it doesn't matter,
1133
00:54:14.360 --> 00:54:16.280
and I said, no, I'm just curious. She goes she
1134
00:54:16.360 --> 00:54:18.880
was ninety five, and I was like, well, you have
1135
00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:20.519
it at that point stage. I guess she got a
1136
00:54:20.719 --> 00:54:23.800
She goes, she caught on fire. She caught on fire,
1137
00:54:24.039 --> 00:54:26.400
she burned to death in a building. Yeah, her house
1138
00:54:26.440 --> 00:54:28.400
caught on fire. And I was like, oh wow, I
1139
00:54:28.440 --> 00:54:31.159
guess she didn't see that coming at ninety five. No
1140
00:54:31.840 --> 00:54:32.840
no in Stacy's and.
1141
00:54:32.880 --> 00:54:34.840
Never bring it makes you laugh so hard. It still
1142
00:54:34.880 --> 00:54:35.639
makes me giggle.
1143
00:54:36.559 --> 00:54:39.679
It's still And I brought it up to someone at
1144
00:54:39.719 --> 00:54:42.400
a party and he goes, I can beat that. He goes,
1145
00:54:42.400 --> 00:54:45.719
my mom was ninety seven, or my grandmother was ninety seven.
1146
00:54:46.000 --> 00:54:47.800
And I was like really, And I was like, how
1147
00:54:47.800 --> 00:54:49.079
does she die? And he goes, she got hit by
1148
00:54:49.079 --> 00:54:52.519
a bus. Holy shit. And he goes and I went,
1149
00:54:52.559 --> 00:54:54.960
wait did she could? And he goes, Everyone asks if
1150
00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:57.400
she could hear it? It
was an electric bus. It backed
1151
00:54:57.440 --> 00:55:02.199
over her. Fuck dude, I uh, how would you prefer
1152
00:55:02.239 --> 00:55:05.760
to go? Say, I've always said this, rescuing someone?
1153
00:55:06.239 --> 00:55:08.599
No? No, I mean like between getting hit by a bus.
1154
00:55:08.719 --> 00:55:11.239
Let's say it's sixty five miles an hour, so you
1155
00:55:11.320 --> 00:55:14.440
kind of just splatter on the road, but it's real quick.
1156
00:55:14.719 --> 00:55:17.840
Plane crash if you're picking the two, or how about
1157
00:55:17.880 --> 00:55:22.000
house fire? No no, no, no, hit by a bus,
1158
00:55:22.119 --> 00:55:24.079
hit by a bus. Yeah, I would never want to
1159
00:55:24.119 --> 00:55:28.880
burn alive. Yeahs, bus is quick, real quick. You're drowning,
1160
00:55:28.960 --> 00:55:34.960
drowning or catching on fire. Ooh that's a good one. Yeah,
1161
00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:40.719
well I've got you know, I've almost drowned before and
1162
00:55:40.760 --> 00:55:43.519
it's so trite. Yeah, it's so terrifying.
1163
00:55:44.239 --> 00:55:46.480
I mean, I don't think anyone I think burning alive
1164
00:55:46.519 --> 00:55:48.440
has got to be just so horrific.
1165
00:55:49.039 --> 00:55:50.840
I bet at a certain point you lean into it,
1166
00:55:51.360 --> 00:55:53.599
to the burning. Yeah, and you just like kind of
1167
00:55:53.599 --> 00:55:55.480
go towards the fire and you're like, let's wrap this up.
1168
00:55:57.239 --> 00:56:02.760
Never really thought about that. Maybe maybe I think I'm
1169
00:56:02.760 --> 00:56:04.679
gonna take fire, take fire.
1170
00:56:04.920 --> 00:56:07.000
Yeah, Okay, if you're gonna be killed by an animal,
1171
00:56:07.039 --> 00:56:10.360
would you rather be on your territory or their territory?
1172
00:56:10.920 --> 00:56:16.079
Meaning like attacked by a shark in water where you're
1173
00:56:16.119 --> 00:56:17.719
not familiar, or attacked by a lion.
1174
00:56:17.760 --> 00:56:24.239
We're on ground, you're familiar. Fuck, that's a good one.
1175
00:56:24.280 --> 00:56:26.079
I just saw footage of a guy that got attacked
1176
00:56:26.079 --> 00:56:32.400
by a puma. It's a real gnarly. Oh my fucking numskull.
1177
00:56:32.559 --> 00:56:35.119
Assistant was like, I was asking him today, what what
1178
00:56:35.159 --> 00:56:37.599
percentage of animals do you think you could kill by hand?
1179
00:56:37.599 --> 00:56:40.800
And he goes sixty and I was like, wait what
1180
00:56:41.559 --> 00:56:42.920
and he was like, well, you figure I can get
1181
00:56:42.920 --> 00:56:44.000
all the way up to dog and cat.
1182
00:56:44.039 --> 00:56:45.480
And I was like, you think you could kill a cat?
1183
00:56:45.719 --> 00:56:48.119
He was like yeah. I was like, I couldn't get
1184
00:56:48.119 --> 00:56:51.360
a cat out of a tree. Do you think he's
1185
00:56:51.400 --> 00:56:55.519
once he gets his hands on it, he could kill it?
1186
00:56:54.760 --> 00:56:58.519
He goes, do
they know I'm killing it? And I went, well,
1187
00:56:58.519 --> 00:56:59.960
they're gonna know once you start to trying.
1188
00:57:00.760 --> 00:57:04.119
Yeah, you think they're gonna be like this is the
1189
00:57:04.159 --> 00:57:10.800
weirdest message that is so dude, the shark death or
1190
00:57:11.639 --> 00:57:15.760
the lion death, shark death, hand on, let's walk you
1191
00:57:15.800 --> 00:57:18.159
through it. Okay, Well, let you know this. The lion
1192
00:57:18.320 --> 00:57:20.800
the lion death's gonna be quicker. You're gonna die quicker.
1193
00:57:21.760 --> 00:57:24.599
The shark death is gonna happen. And then he's gonna
1194
00:57:24.639 --> 00:57:26.639
let you sit there as he does a lap and
1195
00:57:26.679 --> 00:57:27.480
then comes back.
1196
00:57:27.760 --> 00:57:30.719
That's what I'm saying. The shark's gonna bite you and
1197
00:57:30.760 --> 00:57:33.199
then like yeah, then start swimming around you and you're
1198
00:57:33.199 --> 00:57:35.920
gonna be like scared. You're gonna know what's happening. You're
1199
00:57:35.920 --> 00:57:38.960
gonna be screaming in the water, your chunk of your
1200
00:57:39.039 --> 00:57:41.440
leg is missing. You're bleeding profusely, and then you're like,
1201
00:57:41.480 --> 00:57:44.199
I'm about to die and I'm looking at the shark
1202
00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:45.800
the lion. You're gonna be scared if you know what
1203
00:57:45.800 --> 00:57:47.559
it's coming. But it's gonna bite your neck and just
1204
00:57:47.719 --> 00:57:50.239
try to crush it right away. So it's gonna it's
1205
00:57:50.239 --> 00:57:53.000
gonna go for your neck and just crush your neck.
1206
00:57:55.519 --> 00:57:59.360
That's another thing is itching and red and your nose
1207
00:57:59.400 --> 00:58:00.360
is gonna get yested.
1208
00:58:00.880 --> 00:58:03.519
Oh and I'm an asthma attack and I'm biting my neck.
1209
00:58:03.719 --> 00:58:06.599
But the crazy thing is your spinal snap so fast
1210
00:58:06.880 --> 00:58:08.360
that you won't really feel that much.
1211
00:58:09.559 --> 00:58:12.280
What animal would you rather attack you? A bear or
1212
00:58:12.320 --> 00:58:12.800
a lion?
1213
00:58:13.599 --> 00:58:13.760
Oh?
1214
00:58:15.119 --> 00:58:18.480
I think I think the lion still because it goes
1215
00:58:18.480 --> 00:58:19.039
for your neck.
1216
00:58:19.360 --> 00:58:24.760
Okay, then what would you rather? A lion? Or ten dogs? Oh?
1217
00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:32.599
Fuck, these are vicious killing dogs. Yeah, yeah, I think
1218
00:58:32.599 --> 00:58:34.960
you're gonna suffer more in that one. It's gonna be
1219
00:58:35.039 --> 00:58:35.920
so fucking brutal.
1220
00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:36.320
Dude.
1221
00:58:36.480 --> 00:58:40.880
All right, now you're ready, Yeah, Okay, you get attacked
1222
00:58:40.880 --> 00:58:43.880
by ten dogs, but the owner of those dogs is there?
1223
00:58:43.920 --> 00:58:46.760
Would you rather the owner be a woman, a black dude,
1224
00:58:46.840 --> 00:58:53.639
or a guy a latina who doesn't speak English.
1225
00:58:54.119 --> 00:58:57.559
Um, how do you want to go out? No?
1226
00:58:57.760 --> 00:59:01.199
Okay, hold on, so okay, I think if it's the woman,
1227
00:59:01.280 --> 00:59:04.320
she's gonna be going they're friendly. I'm so sorry. I'm
1228
00:59:04.360 --> 00:59:06.840
so sorry. Hang on, guys, stop it, stop it. If
1229
00:59:06.840 --> 00:59:09.599
it's a black guy, he's probably like, he's probably like
1230
00:59:09.800 --> 00:59:12.320
get some, get some.
1231
00:59:12.960 --> 00:59:14.199
And then if it's a Mexican out you don't know
1232
00:59:14.239 --> 00:59:15.639
what he's saying. I do.
1233
00:59:20.280 --> 00:59:22.320
Yeah, I think you know, we've taken so much from
1234
00:59:22.360 --> 00:59:28.320
black culture. I'll take the black guy. Yeah, a little payback. Okay, yeah,
1235
00:59:28.480 --> 00:59:29.320
how about monkeys?
1236
00:59:29.360 --> 00:59:30.559
Though? What about chimps?
1237
00:59:31.440 --> 00:59:34.400
Right, they bite your fingers off, They bite your fingers off,
1238
00:59:34.760 --> 00:59:37.159
they take your jaw, they take a look, they do this,
1239
00:59:38.199 --> 00:59:40.360
and they pull your jaw out of your face. And
1240
00:59:40.400 --> 00:59:42.480
they always rip your testies off because they know you're
1241
00:59:42.519 --> 00:59:44.440
a male and they know you'll reproduce with that, so
1242
00:59:44.480 --> 00:59:48.119
they rip your testicles off, and then they peel skin
1243
00:59:48.159 --> 00:59:50.639
off your back like there's strips of bacon with their hands,
1244
00:59:50.679 --> 00:59:50.880
you know.
1245
00:59:50.960 --> 00:59:55.840
So then what's the question is chimper gorilla? Yeah? Well
1246
00:59:56.039 --> 00:59:59.280
gorilla might just just pounce you right, just and then
1247
00:59:59.440 --> 01:00:00.360
throttle you down.
1248
01:00:00.440 --> 01:00:02.679
So it's gonna it's gonna play with you. It's gonna
1249
01:00:02.679 --> 01:00:05.599
think you're a toy for a while, but you'll probably
1250
01:00:05.599 --> 01:00:06.840
be unconscious pretty quick.
1251
01:00:08.159 --> 01:00:10.159
See, I think that I think you suffer more at
1252
01:00:10.199 --> 01:00:14.039
the hands of the chimps, you know, I think you
1253
01:00:14.079 --> 01:00:14.679
suffer more.
1254
01:00:15.039 --> 01:00:18.119
Would you rather be killed by ten women or ten men?
1255
01:00:21.840 --> 01:00:25.880
That's a real crazy pivotal ten animals.
1256
01:00:26.079 --> 01:00:29.760
Ten women is gonna take like forty five fifty minutes.
1257
01:00:29.920 --> 01:00:33.719
Are these badass women though, it's just regular women, regular women,
1258
01:00:33.840 --> 01:00:38.360
regular women, regular men, And pull them off a fucking frontier.
1259
01:00:37.960 --> 01:00:40.760
Flight and they just start what pummeling you.
1260
01:00:41.119 --> 01:00:44.880
And and they're like, guys, we've got a hundred million dollars.
1261
01:00:45.199 --> 01:00:46.920
You got to kill this guy. You got one day
1262
01:00:46.960 --> 01:00:49.280
to do it, and they made it. And they just
1263
01:00:49.320 --> 01:00:53.400
start fucking beating you until you die. So it may
1264
01:00:53.440 --> 01:00:55.519
take like a day, but you're gonna be fighting the
1265
01:00:55.519 --> 01:00:57.920
whim See the guys, you just know you're gonna get over,
1266
01:00:58.039 --> 01:01:01.119
but you're gonna get tired. Ten hit a lot of women,
1267
01:01:01.159 --> 01:01:06.119
though ten regular dudes. You're probably stronger than the regular dude.
1268
01:01:06.440 --> 01:01:08.559
Okay, but still, like ten of them is a lot.
1269
01:01:08.760 --> 01:01:11.880
Ten's a lot, so I could see how like, but like,
1270
01:01:11.960 --> 01:01:14.599
as let's say three women three of the ten are
1271
01:01:14.599 --> 01:01:16.639
in front of you're gonna start punching women in the face,
1272
01:01:16.760 --> 01:01:19.079
right in the throat and they're breaking some ribs.
1273
01:01:20.239 --> 01:01:22.920
I mean, let's say you knock out three or four
1274
01:01:22.960 --> 01:01:23.280
of them.
1275
01:01:23.519 --> 01:01:25.880
How fun would the first fucking minute and a half
1276
01:01:25.960 --> 01:01:28.760
be of hitting that woman? Just beating the fuck out
1277
01:01:28.760 --> 01:01:31.519
of the first three when they come your way and
1278
01:01:31.639 --> 01:01:33.239
just being like to no one's gonna say.
1279
01:01:33.079 --> 01:01:36.599
Anything, wow, and they're like, there's one hundred million dollars
1280
01:01:36.599 --> 01:01:39.280
bounty on your head, dude, And then yeah, and then
1281
01:01:39.800 --> 01:01:41.440
I mean the thing is, but are.
1282
01:01:41.360 --> 01:01:44.719
These like gross fucking Philly chicks who like you know
1283
01:01:44.760 --> 01:01:48.239
what I mean, like who really know how to scrap?
1284
01:01:48.360 --> 01:01:49.960
Or are these like Midwest moms?
1285
01:01:50.159 --> 01:01:53.159
No, let's make it. Let's make it a bunch of
1286
01:01:53.199 --> 01:01:57.760
fucking Philly bitches. Yeah, thirteen that are like yeah, they're
1287
01:01:57.760 --> 01:01:59.039
like wiping their nose and shift.
1288
01:01:59.079 --> 01:01:59.639
They're like, this is.
1289
01:01:59.559 --> 01:02:04.320
Gonna get book and good g l e s Eagles,
1290
01:02:04.400 --> 01:02:05.679
go birds, Let's get Tommy.
1291
01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:07.559
Yeah, that's gonna be rough, dude.
1292
01:02:07.800 --> 01:02:09.559
I mean, you're gonna you're you are gonna have a
1293
01:02:09.599 --> 01:02:13.320
little bit of fun cracking a few jaws but I
1294
01:02:13.360 --> 01:02:13.719
don't know.
1295
01:02:13.840 --> 01:02:15.239
Ten of them is a lot, dude.
1296
01:02:15.079 --> 01:02:17.320
Tens a lot. I'd rather be beaten. I'd rather be
1297
01:02:17.440 --> 01:02:25.159
killed ten men easily, just for the story, you know, yeah, pride,
1298
01:02:26.199 -->
01:02:30.000
What language would you like to die to the least like?
1299
01:02:30.679 --> 01:02:33.360
Because you figure we've fought in worse. People have died
1300
01:02:33.400 --> 01:02:38.719
to Iraqi whatever that is, Arabic people have died.
1301
01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:40.559
To German.
1302
01:02:42.480 --> 01:02:46.480
People because it sounds scary, Sanders raising her hand, people
1303
01:02:46.519 --> 01:02:50.760
have died the Vietnamese. Vietnamese sounds like it's like a
1304
01:02:50.800 --> 01:02:57.280
little like loop, right, I don't but it's more like round.
1305
01:02:57.320 --> 01:03:01.639
It's more round. It's like as a pose to Japanese,
1306
01:03:01.679 --> 01:03:02.199
which is.
1307
01:03:02.480 --> 01:03:16.320
Oil, and then and then Vietnamese is like, what do
1308
01:03:16.360 --> 01:03:16.559
you think?
1309
01:03:16.599 --> 01:03:17.159
Would you would you?
1310
01:03:17.280 --> 01:03:19.840
Would you like it or dislike it to be suffering
1311
01:03:19.880 --> 01:03:21.239
at the hands of an Asian war.
1312
01:03:24.280 --> 01:03:26.480
Because you know they're cold, right, So okay, hold on,
1313
01:03:26.519 --> 01:03:29.079
So you got to think of the moment, right, the
1314
01:03:29.119 --> 01:03:32.639
moment you don't want is when they say something and
1315
01:03:32.679 --> 01:03:34.079
then they laugh to themselves.
1316
01:03:34.639 --> 01:03:37.000
So what language would you like?
1317
01:03:37.280 --> 01:03:50.679
Hunt uhat and glat globe and.
1318
01:03:48.599 --> 01:03:49.000
Mm hmm.
1319
01:03:49.840 --> 01:03:54.679
You gotta think Bobby Lee killing you Santie like Irish accent.
1320
01:03:54.960 --> 01:03:56.960
You think you're getting out of this one, boy, but
1321
01:03:57.000 --> 01:03:58.840
you understand that, Yeah, I know you're not.
1322
01:03:58.920 --> 01:04:01.199
Yeah, you understand that. But they're talking in Gaelic, were
1323
01:04:01.280 --> 01:04:04.199
like clocking Jim about all right.
1324
01:04:05.360 --> 01:04:07.519
That would be more frustrating because it's close. You'd be like,
1325
01:04:07.599 --> 01:04:08.760
could you just say yes.
1326
01:04:09.239 --> 01:04:11.280
You're right? I'd be like, can you fucking stop?
1327
01:04:11.320 --> 01:04:16.760
And the clicking Clockingingoklah told them to clean.
1328
01:04:18.079 --> 01:04:19.679
I bet the Vietnamese one sucks.
1329
01:04:20.000 --> 01:04:22.519
I bet the Vietnamese woman because it's a little no
1330
01:04:22.559 --> 01:04:26.360
offense Sandro. But it's a little goof here, you know,
1331
01:04:26.519 --> 01:04:28.920
and it's it sounds like there's like a comic relief
1332
01:04:28.960 --> 01:04:30.800
to it, and you always feel like you're getting let go.
1333
01:04:32.199 --> 01:04:34.599
Now we're able to boo and you're like, what real, No,
1334
01:04:34.599 --> 01:04:39.760
no you not you him? Yeah, and they'll break your arms, legs.
1335
01:04:40.159 --> 01:04:42.239
I'm trying to do and I'm trying to do Vietnamese,
1336
01:04:42.559 --> 01:04:44.280
not you him, not you Heim.
1337
01:04:44.599 --> 01:04:45.360
That's it.
1338
01:04:45.360 --> 01:04:49.239
It's like Angela Johnson's nail salon. That boyfriend mm hmm
1339
01:04:51.400 --> 01:04:53.719
would be sexy to die to. You would be sexy
1340
01:04:53.760 --> 01:04:55.920
to die. I would be sexy to die to Spanish
1341
01:04:56.119 --> 01:04:58.800
I wouldn't mid die in the Spanish. I bet a
1342
01:04:58.880 --> 01:05:00.000
certain point, it's just falsely.
1343
01:05:00.440 --> 01:05:01.920
I just but it would suck if it was like
1344
01:05:02.000 --> 01:05:04.480
a Chechnian guy just saying, you're like, I don't know
1345
01:05:04.480 --> 01:05:10.480
what the fuck's happening. Russian would suck. Suck, yeah, Chinese
1346
01:05:10.519 --> 01:05:11.119
like Mandarin.
1347
01:05:14.760 --> 01:05:17.599
I'd rather die to English and know what we're saying.
1348
01:05:17.639 --> 01:05:19.800
And now, now, what English accent would you like to
1349
01:05:19.840 --> 01:05:22.599
die to? Would you like to die to a British accent?
1350
01:05:22.639 --> 01:05:26.000
Like a Cockney like all rot looks like we're cutting
1351
01:05:26.000 --> 01:05:26.880
his nikas off.
1352
01:05:27.079 --> 01:05:29.159
I think I would rather die if I was going
1353
01:05:29.199 --> 01:05:32.119
to die, make it more refined brit I think that
1354
01:05:32.159 --> 01:05:34.000
would just be more pleasant thing to hear.
1355
01:05:34.800 --> 01:05:36.039
Yeah, it feels cleaner.
1356
01:05:36.440 --> 01:05:41.719
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a refined bit as opposed to American accent.
1357
01:05:41.880 --> 01:05:44.000
Oh oh I might yeah, I don't want to listen
1358
01:05:44.039 --> 01:05:47.480
to that while I'm dying. American would suck.
1359
01:05:48.239 --> 01:05:50.239
What American accent would be the worst to die too?
1360
01:05:52.840 --> 01:05:56.519
Like a southern Southern accent because it doesn't sound smart.
1361
01:05:56.679 --> 01:05:58.559
It doesn't sound smart, and you feel like you're being
1362
01:05:58.639 --> 01:06:00.239
bested by someone dumber you.
1363
01:06:00.760 --> 01:06:03.639
That's exactly right, that's exactly right. Same with that mid
1364
01:06:03.679 --> 01:06:06.599
Atlantic accent, which is like that Philly Baltimore accent that
1365
01:06:06.599 --> 01:06:07.199
would suck.
1366
01:06:08.519 --> 01:06:14.719
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Pittsburgh accent would suck to die too,
1367
01:06:15.199 --> 01:06:22.400
Yeah for sure, fucking Canadian accent. Okay, no, we're gonna
1368
01:06:22.440 --> 01:06:26.239
kill you a that would suck. Take his tarp off.
1369
01:06:28.920 --> 01:06:31.760
This is gonna be a long day, bottle. Oh, you're
1370
01:06:31.800 --> 01:06:33.320
not gonna like anything we do it to you.
1371
01:06:33.719 --> 01:06:35.280
I think you hit the key thing though. If you
1372
01:06:35.320 --> 01:06:37.400
feel like it's dumber, then it's worse.
1373
01:06:38.400 --> 01:06:41.239
Yeah, no offense to the Vietnamese people, but like, yeah,
1374
01:06:41.480 --> 01:06:43.639
like I said Vietnamese earlier, and I was saying, because
1375
01:06:43.639 --> 01:06:46.960
it's more round and like where Japanese sounds more precise,
1376
01:06:47.519 --> 01:06:49.360
it's more. But you're right, I think the dumber of
1377
01:06:49.400 --> 01:06:54.760
the accent that sounds mildly racist. But the dumber the accent, yeah,
1378
01:06:54.800 --> 01:06:57.559
then the worst it is. Yeah, even for like the
1379
01:06:57.599 --> 01:07:00.840
homegrown stuff. Can I tell you something wildly racist that
1380
01:07:00.840 --> 01:07:01.880
a black eye told me?
1381
01:07:02.480 --> 01:07:02.800
Yeah?
1382
01:07:03.119 --> 01:07:07.840
Okay, So I was touring with this guy and we
1383
01:07:07.920 --> 01:07:10.840
casually saw a picture of a black dude without a mustache.
1384
01:07:10.920 --> 01:07:13.360
And you don't have a mustache right now? Well it's
1385
01:07:13.400 --> 01:07:15.639
growing in, no, no, but you don't have one. You
1386
01:07:15.639 --> 01:07:17.719
have like hair there yea, And I said, you know,
1387
01:07:17.760 --> 01:07:21.559
a long time ago I heard I heard that black
1388
01:07:21.599 --> 01:07:24.320
guys without facial hair are gay. And he goes, my
1389
01:07:24.400 --> 01:07:26.280
dad told me that when I was a kid, and
1390
01:07:26.320 --> 01:07:27.960
I was like for real, and he was like yeah,
1391
01:07:28.039 --> 01:07:31.840
and I was and I started googling it and it's
1392
01:07:32.320 --> 01:07:37.119
kind of accurate, like most almost all straight black dudes
1393
01:07:37.760 --> 01:07:40.840
facial hair. Interesting, and then he said, and this is
1394
01:07:40.960 --> 01:07:44.159
even wilder and once you go on Instagram, you can't
1395
01:07:44.199 --> 01:07:48.840
unsee this. He said that when he was growing up,
1396
01:07:48.920 --> 01:07:54.880
someone told him I'm not incriminating anyone, that light skinned
1397
01:07:54.920 --> 01:07:59.559
black people act up a little more, act blacker than
1398
01:07:59.760 --> 01:08:03.920
dark skin black people, and so he was told he
1399
01:08:04.039 --> 01:08:06.280
was just sharing with this me and the bus and
1400
01:08:06.320 --> 01:08:08.800
now all I and it's like it's like the out
1401
01:08:08.800 --> 01:08:11.800
it's like your phone hears you, Tom, all I get on.
1402
01:08:11.880 --> 01:08:15.039
My thing is light skin black chicks who are like
1403
01:08:15.440 --> 01:08:18.760
who are like talking almost like they're making fun of black.
1404
01:08:18.600 --> 01:08:22.680
People like her. I walked through to ma heard her.
1405
01:08:22.840 --> 01:08:25.000
You know, like it's like crazy, I'm doing a bad
1406
01:08:25.079 --> 01:08:28.159
impression of it, but it's like it's like with a
1407
01:08:28.199 --> 01:08:32.840
toothpick in her mouth, and she's like and clearly and
1408
01:08:32.920 --> 01:08:35.800
he's light skin and he told me that and I
1409
01:08:35.960 --> 01:08:37.560
and it's like, now that he's said that, I can't
1410
01:08:37.600 --> 01:08:38.079
un see it.
1411
01:08:38.800 --> 01:08:42.000
Yeah, I'm going to look for it now. I feel
1412
01:08:42.000 --> 01:08:43.039
like it's all. It's gonna pop.
1413
01:08:42.920 --> 01:08:45.840
It's like when Donnelle told us that black people like pepsi.
1414
01:08:45.560 --> 01:08:46.760
More Yeah, yeah, the reason.
1415
01:08:47.199 --> 01:08:50.560
Yeah, and then Tom, every time I've been in a
1416
01:08:50.640 --> 01:08:53.399
restaurant and they don't have coke, it's a black waiter
1417
01:08:54.159 --> 01:08:56.840
a pepsi every time, every time, And I'm like, do
1418
01:08:56.880 --> 01:08:58.520
you like pepsi? And I go I love it. I
1419
01:08:58.560 --> 01:09:02.520
love that menthols. I love pepsi products. What would what
1420
01:09:02.560 --> 01:09:05.319
would be the what they should do? There should be
1421
01:09:05.359 --> 01:09:09.359
one chain that signs a wild deal with RC.
1422
01:09:09.359 --> 01:09:12.199
Cola and Jess goes, that's all we got all we
1423
01:09:12.279 --> 01:09:13.239
got Sarca Cola.
1424
01:09:13.039 --> 01:09:15.840
And you're like wow, or like what would be the brand?
1425
01:09:16.479 --> 01:09:19.800
Like Fago would be cool? Pull up brands of sodas?
1426
01:09:19.840 --> 01:09:20.920
Would you like?
1427
01:09:20.960 --> 01:09:23.319
Because you got the pepsi products, the coke products, then
1428
01:09:23.359 --> 01:09:26.199
you got Fago, you got RC, you got Fanta Fanca
1429
01:09:26.239 --> 01:09:27.680
is probably in the pepsi.
1430
01:09:28.640 --> 01:09:37.880
Right, Yeah, let's see Hedrick, doctor Pepper. Do you like
1431
01:09:37.880 --> 01:09:40.760
doctor Pepper? I love doctor Pepper Pepper is good.
1432
01:09:40.840 --> 01:09:44.600
I like mister pib more. Really, I like mister Pip
1433
01:09:44.640 --> 01:09:45.439
and I like an w.
1434
01:09:45.880 --> 01:09:47.920
I got into those root beers and cream SODA's the
1435
01:09:47.920 --> 01:09:50.159
sugar free ones. I think that's the best sugar free
1436
01:09:50.199 --> 01:09:53.880
thing out there. Do you notice do you notice that
1437
01:09:54.479 --> 01:09:58.800
if you crack one of those, the carbonation goes so fast,
1438
01:09:59.119 --> 01:10:01.279
like if you don't drink it right away.
1439
01:10:01.439 --> 01:10:05.920
I drink I drink a diet root beer so fast
1440
01:10:06.199 --> 01:10:08.000
that you don't notice it that I don't know. I
1441
01:10:08.079 --> 01:10:11.760
drink it within two SIPs, two SIPs, two SIPs. I
1442
01:10:11.800 --> 01:10:14.039
drink a diet root beer. That's how fast they go down.
1443
01:10:14.479 --> 01:10:17.239
And I'll tell you, mugs, diet root beer is way
1444
01:10:17.279 --> 01:10:18.720
sweeter than anyone out there.
1445
01:10:19.520 --> 01:10:22.600
I do think that this health conscious stuff is a
1446
01:10:22.640 --> 01:10:25.279
pile of shit. That's always a bummer when you
go
1447
01:10:25.359 --> 01:10:28.159
coke and they go we have fucking spin drift and
1448
01:10:28.199 --> 01:10:30.960
you're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
1449
01:10:31.640 --> 01:10:34.359
Uh, I'll tell you what is really good? Have you
1450
01:10:34.399 --> 01:10:35.399
had ollipop yet?
1451
01:10:36.239 --> 01:10:36.479
No?
1452
01:10:36.760 --> 01:10:38.359
I'm gonna buy a case for your boys when I'm
1453
01:10:38.359 --> 01:10:41.920
in Austin. Really, they're gonna love ollipop. Lollipop tastes like candy,
1454
01:10:42.199 --> 01:10:45.520
but it's like twenty five calories. It's fu Ollipop's legit,
1455
01:10:46.600 --> 01:10:51.399
all right. I think Saint Patti's Day is ours. I
1456
01:10:51.439 --> 01:10:54.199
don't think they celebrate it. They do, they did, but
1457
01:10:54.239 --> 01:10:55.399
they don't celebrate.
1458
01:10:55.000 --> 01:10:57.800
It the way we do. Maybe not, I don't know.
1459
01:10:57.880 --> 01:11:00.000
I think our Saint. I was in Dublin for Saint
1460
01:11:00.000 --> 01:11:02.159
Patty's Day one year. They have a parade and stuff.
1461
01:11:02.159 --> 01:11:05.399
It's big, but it's almost like it's like light skin
1462
01:11:05.479 --> 01:11:08.119
black chicks. It's exactly like that. We're the light skin
1463
01:11:08.199 --> 01:11:10.199
black checks of Saint Patti's Day.
1464
01:11:10.479 --> 01:11:13.920
Right right, it's a really good point. Yeah, they're like,
1465
01:11:13.960 --> 01:11:15.199
what are you talking about, We're super dark.
1466
01:11:15.199 --> 01:11:17.520
We don't need to do that, right, His his uh,
1467
01:11:18.039 --> 01:11:21.479
his examples, and I gotta have on my podcast so
1468
01:11:21.520 --> 01:11:24.199
that he can defend his examples. But his examples were
1469
01:11:24.199 --> 01:11:26.960
spot on, and I'm not gonna step my toe into it.
1470
01:11:27.159 --> 01:11:29.079
So I think black people already know what I'm saying.
1471
01:11:29.159 --> 01:11:31.560
I think it's common within the culture. They know what
1472
01:11:31.600 --> 01:11:35.359
I'm saying. Yeah, but I'm probably misrepresenting it. But his
1473
01:11:35.439 --> 01:11:37.680
examples were wild.
1474
01:11:38.039 --> 01:11:40.720
Well you got to want to post them. Tell him
1475
01:11:40.760 --> 01:11:42.840
to post those. That'd be fun.
1476
01:11:43.520 --> 01:11:45.199
I gotta I gotta say this. I want to get
1477
01:11:45.279 --> 01:11:47.640
Vince Vaughan on the podcast. I want us to interview
1478
01:11:47.680 --> 01:11:51.279
Vince Vaughn his new movie, Nick and Alice and Nick
1479
01:11:51.439 --> 01:11:51.920
and Mike.
1480
01:11:52.199 --> 01:11:57.520
What's it called? It's so it looks so fucking good?
1481
01:11:57.800 --> 01:11:58.399
Did you see it?
1482
01:11:58.720 --> 01:12:00.399
I haven't seen it. I got it. I saw the
1483
01:12:00.439 --> 01:12:03.199
trailer and I reached out to Hulu. I think it's
1484
01:12:03.239 --> 01:12:06.119
on Hulu, and I wanted to see Have
you seen
1485
01:12:06.600 --> 01:12:09.439
Nick and Nick and Alice? Mike and Nick and Nick
1486
01:12:09.439 --> 01:12:13.119
and Alice. It looks so fucking good. Tom, it looks
1487
01:12:13.159 --> 01:12:16.000
Do you want to watch the trailer? I've seen the trailer. Oh,
1488
01:12:16.039 --> 01:12:19.920
it's dude. I am so excited for this movie. This
1489
01:12:20.000 --> 01:12:24.039
is everything I want, comedy and time travel. Shut the
1490
01:12:24.119 --> 01:12:27.359
fuck up. I'm so pumped for this movie. Great this movie.
1491
01:12:27.439 --> 01:12:31.279
And have you seen the trailer for Peaky Blinders? No,
1492
01:12:32.119 --> 01:12:35.359
the movie, the movie Peaky Blinders is coming out in
1493
01:12:35.439 --> 01:12:38.159
theaters then on Netflix. I'm gonna go in theaters and
1494
01:12:38.159 --> 01:12:40.239
I'll watch it again on a plane. And have you
1495
01:12:40.319 --> 01:12:43.840
seen the Seven Kingdoms of the Night of Seven Kingdoms?
1496
01:12:45.840 --> 01:12:48.159
You have not seen the Night of Seven Kingdoms. I
1497
01:12:48.199 --> 01:12:50.239
have not seen the Night of Seven Kingdoms?
1498
01:12:50.359 --> 01:12:52.199
Is that the name of it, The Night of Seven Kingdoms?
1499
01:12:53.479 --> 01:12:53.920
It is.
1500
01:12:55.800 --> 01:12:59.520
Game of Thrones, but for like twenty million, so you
1501
01:12:59.560 --> 01:13:03.079
know Game of the Night, A Night of Seven Kingdoms
1502
01:13:04.119 --> 01:13:04.640
is HBO.
1503
01:13:05.479 --> 01:13:09.239
It is all max. It is so good. But I
1504
01:13:09.279 --> 01:13:11.840
also didn't watch all of Game of Thrones. Don't need to.
1505
01:13:11.920 --> 01:13:13.439
Well you kind of need to a little bit, a
1506
01:13:13.479 --> 01:13:15.760
little bit you need to, but but not really.
1507
01:13:15.880 --> 01:13:19.079
It's so this is is it excellent? Yeah? And they
1508
01:13:19.119 --> 01:13:20.000
did it low budget.
1509
01:13:20.000 --> 01:13:21.520
You can kind of tell it low budget not to
1510
01:13:21.520 --> 01:13:24.359
be shitty, but like when you you when you watch it,
1511
01:13:24.399 --> 01:13:26.720
you'll see certain shots where you're like where you say
1512
01:13:26.720 --> 01:13:28.720
to yourself, what was the budget for this? And then
1513
01:13:28.760 --> 01:13:31.159
you find out it's six million an episode. They did
1514
01:13:31.199 --> 01:13:34.640
twenty million for five episodes, so like, you know, they
1515
01:13:34.880 --> 01:13:37.319
you know, they kind of part and parceled.
1516
01:13:36.960 --> 01:13:40.640
It a little bit. Yeah, but uh, you're really this question.
1517
01:13:41.840 --> 01:13:44.640
This is really good. Okay, all right, well we got
1518
01:13:44.640 --> 01:13:46.720
to wrap it up. Are we done? Yeah?
1519
01:13:47.239 --> 01:13:50.880
The next episode will be in Austin. Yes, and then
1520
01:13:51.960 --> 01:13:53.600
I will have picked your boys up from school.
1521
01:13:53.880 --> 01:13:54.079
Yeah.
1522
01:13:54.119 --> 01:13:56.600
They're going to love that, dude. So I'll just sleep
1523
01:13:56.640 --> 01:14:00.279
on your couch. Sure, if you want to I guess
1524
01:14:00.279 --> 01:14:03.239
I'll sleep in a hotel. Well, we'll make it work.
1525
01:14:03.720 --> 01:14:04.720
Dude. You gotta do.
1526
01:14:04.840 --> 01:14:07.520
You gotta start posting about what you guys did you
1527
01:14:07.600 --> 01:14:14.840
and Epstein? You gotta tell stories the conquer Look, guys,
1528
01:14:15.279 --> 01:14:17.840
everybody has been talking. I'm finally going to tell you
1529
01:14:18.039 --> 01:14:19.079
here's what Epstein was.
1530
01:14:19.159 --> 01:14:19.279
Like.
1531
01:14:20.119 --> 01:14:22.520
You'll see that I'm in the files. I should do
1532
01:14:22.600 --> 01:14:26.000
I should do in a mission like like like, so.
1533
01:14:27.560 --> 01:14:29.800
It's out now I'm in the Epstein Hey say, did
1534
01:14:29.840 --> 01:14:31.119
you know I was in the Epstein list?
1535
01:14:33.039 --> 01:14:34.840
Wait? Am I not in the Epstein list? You are?
1536
01:14:34.880 --> 01:14:38.680
Did you make this up? Pull it up yourself. See
1537
01:14:38.680 --> 01:14:40.600
if there's a result when you search the Department of
1538
01:14:40.760 --> 01:14:42.880
Justice Epstein files. I'm going to do something. I'll tell
1539
01:14:42.880 --> 01:14:43.560
you what I'm going to do.
1540
01:14:44.159 --> 01:14:46.359
I'm going to do some deep research in my Epstein
1541
01:14:46.439 --> 01:14:50.880
affiliation and if if I need to all come clean.
1542
01:14:51.119 --> 01:14:51.920
Yeah, just tell.
1543
01:14:51.800 --> 01:14:55.560
Your Tell people about your friend.
1544
01:14:55.920 --> 01:14:57.600
Just talk about your friend.
1545
01:14:59.079 --> 01:15:00.720
We call them in a soci yet like people like
1546
01:15:00.760 --> 01:15:03.399
I met him, but you know, I met him and
1547
01:15:03.439 --> 01:15:04.000
we hung out.
1548
01:15:03.920 --> 01:15:08.039
At a few parties. He made me call him sig gap. Yeah,
1549
01:15:08.119 --> 01:15:12.880
and he called you conqueror, Conqueror yeah, Conqueror a lot
1550
01:15:12.880 --> 01:15:14.520
of roller coaster questions. Back then.
1551
01:15:15.560 --> 01:15:20.600
He was really into the Intimidator and top ttle Dragsture. Hey,
1552
01:15:20.680 --> 01:15:22.439
what just what are the lines look like that top
1553
01:15:22.439 --> 01:15:24.439
ttle Dragsture? And I go They're long? And he goes,
1554
01:15:24.439 --> 01:15:25.880
how old are the girls in that line?
1555
01:15:26.039 --> 01:15:26.279
Yeah?
1556
01:15:26.520 --> 01:15:28.960
And I was like what I never understood. I was
1557
01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:32.359
always like, huh huh. He's like those water parks. What
1558
01:15:32.479 --> 01:15:33.479
is the age limit there?
1559
01:15:33.600 --> 01:15:35.359
And you you kept going like, wait, why do you
1560
01:15:35.399 --> 01:15:38.560
want me to bring my kids for everything? Yeah? Wait?
1561
01:15:38.600 --> 01:15:40.520
So wait, Like the average title is just how to
1562
01:15:40.560 --> 01:15:42.199
ride that ride? But like, what age is that that
1563
01:15:42.279 --> 01:15:43.399
goes as high?
1564
01:15:43.399 --> 01:15:48.359
How old is this? Fucking no, Jeff, how old is this? So? Fun?
1565
01:15:48.680 --> 01:15:52.119
All right, it was fun. It's good to see you, buddy.
1566
01:15:52.319 --> 01:15:54.159
I love you. I'll see you. I'll see you next
1567
01:15:54.159 --> 01:15:59.920
week in Austin. Thank you guys. Wait, Bert and one
1568
01:16:00.159 --> 01:16:02.880
goes top to squat, the other wears a shirt. Tom
1569
01:16:03.000 --> 01:16:06.079
tells stories in the Bird's thumb Machine. There's not a
1570
01:16:06.199 --> 01:16:08.840
chance in hell to dal keep the cleet. Here's one
1571
01:16:08.840 --> 01:16:11.359
recall to Bear's one Cave