Volledige transcriptie van The difference between SUCCESS and FULFILLMENT-with Ricky Rebel

I mean if you are being if you are being really loud, doing it that'll be a little bit. 00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:46.560 I'm not loud, I'm like, I'm like, it's at me. 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:48.639 Oh, you know why I do it too? 00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:49.919 To save my voice. 00:02:50.159 --> 00:02:50.719 I know, yeah. 00:02:50.879 --> 00:02:51.680 Because it's so loud. 00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:56.639 I know, I know in these places, and then it helps to like soften your lips so the lips are cute. 00:02:57.280 --> 00:02:59.280 But also, maybe I can make this work. 00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:06.400 You guys, here's how I'm gonna on the fly transition, transition what's happening on the way you're watching him. 00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:10.479 Wait, but this is perfect. 00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:12.800 He just made cheekbones, you guys. 00:03:12.960 --> 00:03:16.639 Listen, you don't need filler, you just need to do this technique that Ricky's doing. 00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:20.159 Okay, maybe this episode is gonna be very different than what we thought. 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:23.199 But here's the intention of the episode. 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:24.639 Here's the intention. 00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:27.680 We were gonna talk about success. 00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:34.560 And so, what better way to segue into success than to talk about a Hollywood red carpet? 00:03:34.719 --> 00:03:54.639 Hello! Okay, I don't know about you, but all these years into therapy and spiritual work and sobriety, I still very much struggle with this. 00:03:55.919 --> 00:04:08.159 And I am I am acutely aware of the difference between success and fulfillment, but the lines get blurred rather easily. 00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:25.680 And a mantra that I have to say all the time when I start to get spun up around where I am in my business life, how much money I am making or not making is God, whoever and whatever you are, right? 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:31.360 I say that in the most non-denominational way because I believe in God, just a very spiritual God. 00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:35.920 God, please help me want everything that I want. 00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:50.319 So all these external markers of success, all the money, all the notoriety, all the impact that I want, please help me want what I want and need none of it. 00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:57.680 Because the only place I get into trouble is when I think I need it to be okay. 00:04:58.000 --> 00:04:58.560 Yeah. 00:04:59.279 --> 00:04:59.920 Yeah. 00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:04.319 So we're Sagittarians. 00:05:04.480 --> 00:05:05.920 Let's call us Bay as Bay. 00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:12.639 We we wanted it like a long time ago, you know, like we We wanted it lifetimes ago, it feels like. 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:13.600 Yeah, lifetimes. 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:15.360 We live life, yeah. 00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:19.600 Sagittarians want what they want a long time ago. 00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:22.000 So then long time. 00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:28.000 How do you first of all how do you define success? 00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:35.600 I I'm I'm super brutalist about it. 00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:37.439 I'm super brutalist. 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:42.240 Um money is success. 00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:45.439 Yeah, money. 00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:48.879 My Capricorn is in Mars. 00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:51.120 What does that mean? 00:05:53.040 --> 00:05:57.839 The planet of um so Mars is the planet of ambition. 00:05:58.399 --> 00:05:58.720 Okay. 00:05:59.759 --> 00:06:12.319 So wherever whatever planet, astrologically speaking, whatever sign is in that that space is like what the success driver is, how you relate to success, how you want it. 00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:13.600 And I'm like Capricorn. 00:06:13.920 --> 00:06:16.879 Capricorns are notable shit. 00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:20.639 Like uh our girl. 00:06:22.079 --> 00:06:22.800 What's her name? 00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:24.639 Singer. 00:06:25.120 --> 00:06:25.680 Capricorn. 00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:27.920 Beautiful singer, right? 00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:30.000 She was very ambitious. 00:06:30.800 --> 00:06:31.759 We only have to say her name. 00:06:31.920 --> 00:06:32.000 Yeah. 00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:34.319 But she knows what she right, she knows what she wants. 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:36.959 She tries not to let people take advantage of her. 00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:38.560 That's Capricorn energy. 00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:40.480 Like, I'm gonna get this done. 00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:46.480 And the bottom line is like money, money is very important to the Capricorn. 00:06:47.279 --> 00:06:52.160 Um, my Aunt Donna's a Capricorn, and she does like all the stocks, all the things, all the things. 00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:53.519 Why aren't you in Bitcoin? 00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:54.879 Why aren't you investing in this? 00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:57.439 Investing in that, Tesla, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. 00:06:58.079 --> 00:06:58.959 That's what they care about. 00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:06.959 So there's there's a part of me that is like that's what success means at the end of the day. 00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:10.800 Okay, and that's a very blunt part of me. 00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:15.040 But then there's a more spiritual side of me, right? 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:31.680 Because I have an I I'm an Aries uh a Pisces rising, and I'm a Libra moon, and all these beautiful like beautiful elements about my sign and about who I am, and my the side of me that's like the the rising sign, like the the Pisces in me is like, oh that stuff doesn't mean shit. 00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:31.839 Okay. 00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:32.879 And you fucking know it. 00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:33.040 Okay. 00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:34.399 Because you're gonna die, bitch. 00:07:35.279 --> 00:07:36.319 You can't take that money with you. 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:37.600 Nobody takes the money with you. 00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:41.279 Everyone is on an equal field because everyone's gonna die. 00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:44.240 No one's above anyone

else. 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:47.360 Right? 00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:54.399 Like happiness can be achieved in the Congo, but they have no money. 00:07:55.199 --> 00:07:59.680 Happiness fulfillment can be achieved in you know in a in a tribe like that. 00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:08.959 So there is like this like conflicting ideas of what it means to be a success in my mind. 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:10.079 It's kind of hard. 00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:22.560 If you had to make a definition that included all the sides of you, yeah, then how would you define success? 00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:26.879 It's having your cake and eating it too. 00:08:30.160 --> 00:08:31.199 Elaborate. 00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:33.519 It's having it all. 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:34.799 Having it all. 00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:36.000 Having everything. 00:08:36.320 --> 00:08:42.960 Success is like not only are, you know, a lot of rich and powerful people are miserable. 00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:44.639 That's not success. 00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:46.320 They failed at that. 00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:55.279 So it's having money, having power, and being happy and fulfilled and loving and receiving love. 00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:59.279 It's all the all the things all at the same time. 00:08:59.919 --> 00:09:01.360 And being able to balance it. 00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:03.360 How well can you balance that? 00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:07.919 How much of those things can you have at the same time? 00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:14.080 So not lose yourself and not go crazy. 00:09:14.480 --> 00:09:14.720 Yeah. 00:09:15.039 --> 00:09:20.720 Don't connier yourself or brainy yourself or or or lacerate yourself, right? 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:31.039 So if you're in a season where this is like just a general human question, right? 00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:37.120 You're obviously on the pod, so it's going to be directed to you, but it's directed at me and it's directed to the audience member who's listening. 00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:54.879 But if you're in a season like I am right now, I have the measure of financial success in my mind, very vivid and clear, what I want to earn, what I want all of that to look like, what I want my days to be filled doing. 00:09:55.200 --> 00:09:58.799 And I'm super far from that goal. 00:09:59.360 --> 00:10:09.279 So when that is the reality, where the financial or external markers of success are far away from where you want them to be. 00:10:09.840 --> 00:10:14.240 But then that part of you that you described, the Capricorn, right? 00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:17.440 And for me, I could say from more of a therapeutic lens, right? 00:10:17.519 --> 00:10:19.200 The the perfectionist part. 00:10:19.519 --> 00:10:20.559 What's the matter with you? 00:10:20.639 --> 00:10:22.159 Why haven't you figured this out by now? 00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:23.039 You're 43 years old. 00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:24.000 What the fuck is wrong with you? 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:40.399 Okay, whatever we want to call that, and all the factors, spiritual, mental, emotional, psychological, that are driving us to feel like we're in a state of lack, what do you do to confront that? 00:10:41.039 --> 00:10:48.639 When that part of you shows up and is like, bitch, you're not, you're not where you want to be. 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:51.600 You're not sick, that's not successful. 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:54.080 How do you handle that? 00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:59.919 What do you do in the face of that so that you don't start to feel like a worthless piece of shit? 00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:02.320 Because that's really what this is, right? 00:11:02.480 --> 00:11:17.440 Like we are trying to talk about finding success as best we can every 24 hours without it being wrapped up in our sense of identity and lovability and worthiness. 00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:21.039 I saw this really great YouTube video, and I wanted to share it with you. 00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:22.720 I probably can find it again. 00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:27.679 It's a philosophical, I've been watching a lot of philosophy. 00:11:28.399 --> 00:11:40.000 And I forget what type of uh philosophy this is, but it's basically that it might be existentialism, a branch of existentialism that life is very is absurd. 00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:42.320 It's completely absurd. 00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:45.279 Like we're talking from head to toe. 00:11:45.919 --> 00:11:46.559 Yeah, absurd. 00:11:47.440 --> 00:12:06.799 And when you think about it, like when the uh there was a time in the the the Greek Greek times when they when they there was like sayings like if you are working your life away, you're a slave. 00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:23.919 You've you've given away your time the most precious commodity to something, including your own work or including making money, whatever it is, like that's how you've lost yourself. 00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:25.919 Like that, you you have become a slave. 00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:37.600 So the idea, so sometimes the person who lives on the street who is living, you know, might be more successful than you, you know what I'm saying? 00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:39.519 Yeah in different ways. 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:41.600 It's it's completely absurd. 00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:47.600 Like so if if I watch movies videos like that, it kind of brings me back into perspective of my life. 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:58.240 And I started thinking about like, oh yeah, like those things are told to us that those are really important things by humanity. 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:16.879 But like in reality, if we were like just little tribe people just hanging out and we didn't have money, like it would just be like that would be our lives, and that's a real, real life that you would have, and you wouldn't have anything else to kind of compare it to, but because we're comparing we're ruining the joy in the moment. 00:13:18.399 --> 00:13:34.399 So I watch videos like that to help me balance myself and and kind of get back to oh, I am grateful I live in a nice home, oh I

am grateful I have a nice car, oh I'm grateful I have friends, oh I'm grateful I can sing, I can dance, and I I start counting my you know, blessings. 00:13:34.960 --> 00:13:43.600 And then the the big one that you and I do is like I'm grateful for all the things that I don't want that I don't get. 00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:57.519 All the diseases that exist on the you know, you open that big book that's like this big of a disease that you possibly could have, you know, ailments or limbs that could be lost, and vocal cords and eyeballs and shit that you have. 00:13:58.320 --> 00:14:03.840 So it's like that's how I kinda kind of get back into balance a little bit more. 00:14:04.399 --> 00:14:09.840 But there are times like Patrick has been saying, like, you've been I'm gonna be really blunt. 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:14.399 It's like you've been on a um midlife crisis journey for like five years. 00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:16.480 So when is that gonna no five months? 00:14:17.519 --> 00:14:18.559 What does he mean by that? 00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:20.320 So when is that gonna stop? 00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:26.080 Or when when are you gonna get when are you just gonna buy that Corvette or you know what I'm saying? 00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:31.200 He notices he notices my demeanor. 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:33.120 Sometimes I just get really quiet. 00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:36.159 Like after that show that I was telling you about, it didn't go the way I wanted. 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:38.000 The numbers weren't there that I wanted. 00:14:38.159 --> 00:14:41.440 Yeah, and I just felt like okay, I don't think we can do this anymore. 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.759 Like I just think we gotta hang it up. 00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:46.320 And I just got really insulated. 00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:49.759 Um what was your question? 00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:55.519 Well, I I was wondering about why Patrick said that. 00:14:55.759 --> 00:14:58.559 What has been the presentation in you? 00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:09.440 Is it this toggling between everything that you want and being attached to the outcome and then being in fulfillment and feeling like I am so grateful everything is fine the way it is? 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:16.080 Is it that you've gone back and forth in in the last five months in a way where he's like, um, are you okay? 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:17.919 Or or is it something else? 00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:24.240 I think he just knows knows me really well. 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:28.240 He knows when I'm bullshitting. 00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:31.279 And that's why I I love him very much. 00:15:32.559 --> 00:15:36.240 Um and he knows when I flounder. 00:15:37.360 --> 00:15:42.559 So I'm floundering around sometimes aimlessly in the house, you know. 00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:52.639 Or I take too long to do like pribbing things and you know, just kind of floundering a little bit. 00:15:53.120 --> 00:16:09.919 You can I think you can see like, oh my mind's racing, I'm not really I mean, because my

partner lives a very structured life, but the life that we should should should all be living like quote quotations, everybody who can't see this, who's just listening. 00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:16.559 Should be living like at this time we're gonna do this, this time we're gonna do this, this time we're gonna do this, this time we're gonna do this. 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:23.279 And I I don't I'm so resistant to living a life like that. 00:16:24.080 --> 00:16:27.279 I just feel I just feel like a slave. 00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:30.639 Like I feel, I mean, I know that's what's gonna lead to freedom. 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:36.879 That's what's gonna ultimately lead to this financial freedom we're talking about. 00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:38.480 Having more structure, you mean? 00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:46.000 Yeah, yeah, and being really disciplined about this time is for this, and this time is for this. 00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:48.000 You motherfucker. 00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:58.240 I love wait, this is so good because literally, in I've had a uh whatever we want to call this, I'm in the fun season of perimenopause. 00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:05.599 So sometimes there is just absolute hormonal chaos, and I think that's what this most recent dip of a mood was. 00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:11.200 But there were a few nights last week that were just a blubbering mess. 00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:17.359 And I literally haven't said this out loud about myself, I don't even know in over a decade. 00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:31.200 But I was talking to Rob, and we were talking about my business, and you know, he he says things like, I don't get it, like you're you're so smart already. 00:17:31.279 --> 00:17:33.519 That's a setup for me to feel like shit, okay? 00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:43.440 Me too! You're so smart, you're so smart, you did so well in school, but like with this business thing, you're just you're all over the place. 00:17:43.759 --> 00:17:52.799 See, okay, and I was like, I feel like a fucking failure. 00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:56.799 Literally, I was like, I I feel like a I am 43. 00:17:57.519 --> 00:18:04.960 I I am so smart, I'm so capable, I'm so talented, like, where are the cash and pri like where is it? 00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:06.480 Why does it look the way it does? 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:07.920 Why is this so hard for me? 00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:18.240 And you know, one thing I said to Rob was like, well, first of all, honey, uh, school, they tell you exactly what to do to get an A. 00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:19.680 Tell me what to do. 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:38.640 You want if someone wants to tell me exactly what to do to become a highly successful, well-paid public speaker and run a thriving wellness business and have high-ticket coaching clients that pay me an annual retainer because that's what I want my life to look like. 00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:39.519 I'm very clear. 00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:46.559 If there is an exact roadmap and you told me it would take 10 years, I would follow it until I got there. 00:18:46.720 --> 00:18:48.960 And I would be the best at following it. 00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:51.920 But I was like, Rob, there is no roadmap. 00:18:52.240 --> 00:19:07.680 And like you, Ricky, Sagittarian energy, whatever you want to call this, like the idea of just focusing on one thing until your eyeballs burst out of your head makes me want to die inside spiritually, right? 00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:22.960 And so, yeah, what is this balance of head down, hard at work, super focused, super disciplined, without feeling caged like a slave, like a prisoner of your own life? 00:19:23.119 --> 00:19:23.440 Yeah. 00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:49.599 And to be honest with you, like this year, this is the first year, maybe it maybe in my whole life, but certainly in a really long time, where I have had to resist the urge and temptation to run off to every single event, to be in every single room, to get all the pretty photographs and all the amazing footage, to make it appear as though I'm crushing it. 00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:58.319 Because I just kept outsourcing all my power when I was living that way, and I wasn't actually building. 00:19:58.559 --> 00:20:02.960 I wasn't building a book of business, I wasn't getting paid to go on stages. 00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:06.720 In fact, people were like, Yeah, you can speak on my panel, but it's also like$250. 00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:08.559 And I'm like, you know what? 00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:23.680 I have to stop the same way I've had to heal like codependent shit, where someone comes swooping into my life and they're sexy and fun and seductive, and they want they're obsessed with me, and then I'm obsessed with them, and then we have a huge fight and we never speak again. 00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:25.599 That's kind of what this reminds me of. 00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:31.920 It's like, what is the secure attachment version of me and my career? 00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:36.559 What is the version of no, I that the no is the new yes? 00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:50.640 I will only say yes when you are going to pay me, and I will pitch myself to thousands of speaking gigs until I actually get the yes that is aligned with my core values and my vision for my life. 00:20:50.880 --> 00:21:06.720 And what is the version of me building a wellness studio where, yeah, if I want this thing to grow, I have to go out into the world and let everybody know that I'm a goddamn beginner and I have this studio and I have a new client intro special, even though emotionally I'm so exhausted from all the work that I've done. 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:09.440 And don't you know you should be paying me thousands of fucking dollars? 00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:11.039 I'm the best at what I do. 00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:12.640 No, they don't know that. 00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:14.319 They don't fucking know that. 00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:15.359 I know that. 00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:23.119 What am I willing to do to humble myself and to detach

the emotional work I've done, which by the way, there are fruits of that labor. 00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:29.839 I have a beautiful marriage, I have healthy children, I'm a conscious mother, I've broken generational cycles of addiction and dysfunction. 00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:41.279 So there is evidence of all the hard work, but detach that part from the business goals and just stay head down in the work, focused enough. 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:43.759 Because even now, I'm not doing just one thing. 00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:46.000 I want to be a speaker and have this wellness studio. 00:21:46.079 --> 00:21:49.359 That's two very hard goals to achieve at the same time. 00:21:49.599 --> 00:21:55.359 But I'm I'm trying for both, and no one's gonna put either of those fires out right now, and that's fine for me. 00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:59.759 But the arresting of the temptation. 00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:18.559 And the desire to just run off and play is so difficult because that part of us just wants to have fun right now and knows that life is ridiculous and that we're living inside of a matrix and nothing is real and it's all gonna end and it's borrowed time, right? 00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:36.079 And and what how are we balancing that and honoring the part of us that knows we are deeply talented and meant to serve and impact the world at large with our gifts and talents because both are true, and so there is a tending to both that has to happen at the same time. 00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:48.960 So I've I'm like so much less available than I was, I'm doing a lot less fun things than I was, and I'm like, this is what it's gonna take times however many years of doing it. 00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:52.160 I don't know how many that is, could be three, five, seven, ten. 00:22:53.519 --> 00:23:02.799 If I actually want to get to the end game that I say I so badly want and deserve, so hard. 00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:03.759 Yeah. 00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:12.160 And and as you were describing your reality and you know, your world, and I was like, this is so absurd. 00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:14.640 Which which part? 00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:15.680 Which part? 00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:18.079 The the sh the the striving? 00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:23.279 Yeah, you're already like I just see you as like successful, yeah. 00:23:24.160 --> 00:23:24.960 Isn't that so funny? 00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:25.680 And me too. 00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:26.720 Isn't that so funny? 00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:28.480 We're already the shit. 00:23:28.640 --> 00:23:30.720 It's just like it's just like the cat. 00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:31.759 It's just like Willow. 00:23:31.839 --> 00:23:37.519 Willow, like, imagine Willow, like, but daddy, I have to go over here and I really want to get this necklace and I have to work. 00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:39.279 And I'm not okay unless I do. 00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:43.440 I have to do this thing over here, daddy, to get this necklace so I can feel better. 00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:47.599 I'm

like, baby, you're fucking willow, bitch. 00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:49.039 You're goddamn perfect. 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:50.160 You're fucking perfect. 00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:52.799 Like, you're amazing, right? 00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:54.559 The cat is already. 00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:57.039 But imagine the cat if they had like goals like that. 00:23:57.119 --> 00:24:01.359 Like, well, I I'm not good unless I have the ring and I have the the crown. 00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:03.359 Yeah, I gotta get that crown. 00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:04.079 Yeah. 00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:06.160 But what's fascinating, right? 00:24:06.319 --> 00:24:09.599 That's your response to me as you're hearing me, right? 00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:10.160 Yeah. 00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:22.400 But the way we started this conversation, minus the way we started the serious part of the conversation. 00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:25.359 When I said, How do you define success? 00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:28.640 You completely led with money. 00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:29.440 It was period. 00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:30.880 It was a period of period. 00:24:31.119 --> 00:24:37.759 And then as we've been talking, it's like you're pulling yourself out of the matrix and remembering. 00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:38.960 It's so weird. 00:24:39.119 --> 00:24:39.759 I know. 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:45.200 And again, it's a it's not it's it's not an either or. 00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:52.960 It's not like you're right when you're chasing money and you're wrong when you're living freely and homeless on the street, but you're so happy and blah, blah, blah. 00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:56.079 It's not an either or, it's a both and. 00:24:56.240 --> 00:25:06.480 And so, right somewhere in the middle of the conversation you were talking about, well, I watched the videos and I get into gratitude both for the things I have and the things that I don't have that I don't want. 00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:14.319 And I try to coexist with these parts of me that are pulling me in seemingly opposite directions. 00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:32.400 And that's actually the work because we're not just gonna wake up, I don't think, and be totally self-liberated and not give a single fuck and not want to have the impact that we have with the gifts that we were given. 00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:39.759 That's not gonna happen, and we're not gonna be okay if that's the only thing we chase in our lives. 00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:48.160 And so, since both of those things are true, every 24 hours, it's like a you hit like a spiritual reset button, I think, when you go to sleep. 00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:53.440 I always say this when I wake up, I like describe the spiritual boardroom of parts of me. 00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:55.839 They all kind of assemble above my head. 00:25:56.079 --> 00:26:08.559 You know, the perfectionist, the the highly ambitious, the procrastinator, the free to do what she wants and pleases, Sagittarian, the right, all of them assemble. 00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:13.200

And and like my job is to go, tell me your grievances. 00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:16.079 I just want I want to hear from all of them. 00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:24.640 And I also wanna, so I want to honor their fears, their hopes, their dreams, their desires, and not be run by them. 00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:58.799 I want the version of me that knows she deserves both success and fulfillment to be sitting in the seat of CEO of that boardroom table, to take everyone's opinions into consideration and then just go out and do the very best I can to have a day that's a day that I that I work hard, that I can literally look back and go, yeah, I spent X amount of hours like really pounding the pavement, you know, letting people know what I do, offering something for free, like putting my work out into the world in a humble and vulnerable way so that I'm building blah and blah. 00:26:58.880 --> 00:26:59.039 Right. 00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:04.720 And I spent time in joyful things just for the sake of it. 00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:10.160 Joyful movement, joyful friendship, joyful food food. 00:27:10.319 --> 00:27:10.640 Yes. 00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:21.039 Like I want to try in a day to have a balance of both of those things because that's honoring the full expression of who I am. 00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:30.160 And if I have one day that's fully one or fully the other, I think there's a time and place to have like full-blown spiritual fulfillment days where you're just playing, where you're just dancing. 00:27:30.319 --> 00:27:41.039 I think those can be such a reset and a recharge for getting back into the business of your life and give you a whole swoop of energy that can be ultra productive. 00:27:41.839 --> 00:27:48.880 But in general, I'm trying to kind of live in that sort of both end space as opposed to either or. 00:27:49.119 --> 00:27:49.680 That's good. 00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:50.480 Yeah, I like it. 00:27:51.119 --> 00:27:57.839 So then how do you reconcile with the fact that your initial answer is success equals money cold with? 00:27:58.319 --> 00:28:01.519 Well, actually, Samantha, when I'm listening to you, that's totally absurd. 00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:03.039 You're already successful, so am I. 00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:04.079 We already have all the things. 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:05.440 Like, what are we even talking about? 00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:09.359 This is a joke, life is a joke, this is fake, this is money with us. 00:28:10.160 --> 00:28:18.720 How are you like right now in this moment, how knowing both of those extremes seemingly exist at the same time, how are you dealing with that? 00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:26.240 I'm putting the gun to my head. 00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:28.640 I'm having a lot of sex. 00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.559 That's not the limiting, that's delimiting. 00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:37.839 You're gonna laugh. 00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:39.839 I mean, it's just ridiculous. 00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:46.319 I honestly I'm always gonna be who I am. 00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:52.559 And um and I I think that's the most important thing. 00:28:52.640 --> 00:29:00.319 When I was listening to you, I was like, okay, the struggle struggles start to happen when we're not who we really are. 00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:01.039 Okay. 00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:02.400 I think that's true. 00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:03.599 Totally. 00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:05.279 I think it might be true. 00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:16.319 You know, it's like if if I lean into what it is that I do best consistently and stop leaning into the things, you know, we talked about last episode about like divisive things. 00:29:16.559 --> 00:29:19.119 Nobody wants to see me be divisive or to even think. 00:29:19.759 --> 00:29:20.640 That's not me. 00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:23.119 That's not what people like me for. 00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:25.599 Really learning about okay, why do people like me? 00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:27.680 Why do people why do I like them? 00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:33.440 And you know, when we're having a good time with each other and vibrating, it's for me, my world is about having fun. 00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:39.039 So the more I lean into having fun with people, it's you're gonna, I'm gonna win. 00:29:39.119 --> 00:29:42.799 And I and I have been consistently winning with that frame of mind. 00:29:43.119 --> 00:29:43.359 Yeah. 00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:51.519 So to answer your question, like lean into having fun with people, lean into having fun with people, and what comes out of it will come out of it. 00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:54.640 Let it be, whatever will be, will be. 00:29:55.599 --> 00:30:00.240 That's all I have control over, is like how much fun can I have at this party? 00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:02.720 And it's hard to have fun sometimes. 00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:23.519 It's hard to have fun when things aren't going your way, or it's hard to have fun when you know the outfit isn't kicking the way you want it to, or you know, the hair isn't right, or that picture look like shit, and you know, you look you have and you're thinking about yourself, and you know, you think about others, and you think about oh, this party is for other people to have fun with, you know, you gotta. 00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:25.279 I that's that's my work. 00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:29.440 I gotta get back into all the time is that frame of having fun. 00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:31.839 And for me, success is still money. 00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:42.720 I'm still not at that point where I'm like, you know, because success is different than fulfillment. 00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:44.160 You were just saying that, right? 00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:44.720 Yeah. 00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:47.200 To be fulfilled is like one thing. 00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:55.200 But like I I definitely am the kind of person I I've well, like I think uh most of us are. 00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:59.119 We want the financial freedom to do the kind of projects that we want to do. 00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:05.599 So

ultimately what we're trying to create is more fun, more projects that are fulfilling and fun. 00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:24.079 Like I want to make movies, I want to make you know uh albums for people and you know, um travel the world and and do all kinds of things and throw big parties and stuff like that uh and perform in them and have other people come in and perform at the same time and festivals, right? 00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:32.880 So to fund all those things, you need like big budget, so you need people kind of throwing that in. 00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:42.960 So I think I don't know, I'm still so cold about the idea, but I know in my heart that it's also not true. 00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:48.319 So it's like it's like a it's it's like a game you're playing with yourself, it's you're tricking yourself. 00:31:50.799 --> 00:31:52.559 It's so interesting this conversation. 00:31:52.720 --> 00:32:07.599 I think so many people are gonna relate to this because it's just uh conditioned in us from the the moment we get here, about the idea of success being external and very much financial. 00:32:08.319 --> 00:32:14.160 And it's interesting when you think about like success and fulfillment are two totally different things. 00:32:15.119 --> 00:32:22.319 We already know because we've seen it a thousand times, look at any sort of major celebrity that's overdosed, relapsed, died, killed themselves, right? 00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:26.000 Like you can have wild success, as you said, and be deeply unfulfilled. 00:32:27.039 --> 00:32:38.319 But an interesting question is can you be fulfilled and call that success? 00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:46.000 Even if you never earn the dollar amount that you've said you wanted to earn. 00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:48.240 Because it doesn't work the other way. 00:32:48.559 --> 00:33:07.359 You cannot have success and be guaranteed fulfillment, but you can have fulfillment and if you work hard enough at deconditioning your belief systems, you can have fulfillment and never get the quote unquote success that you set out to get. 00:33:08.079 --> 00:33:09.680 And that's the way of the Buddha, right? 00:33:09.759 --> 00:33:19.920 Like all those guys that they they live in the temples, and they're like happy as the clams, you know, not just gardening, but call it a day. 00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:24.160 Grow your flowers, call it a day, success. 00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:33.440 But I really love what you're saying, and I think this is such a great place to to end on because it's it's actually a really big concept. 00:33:33.519 --> 00:33:43.759 Uh on the one hand, using fun as a metric for how to measure your days is such a simple concept. 00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:45.200 It's it's so simple. 00:33:45.359 --> 00:33:54.640 So so I love that that it's so simple, and it's actually deeply spiritual and and not simple at all. 00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:55.599 Right. 00:33:56.480 --> 00:34:17.679 Getting yourself into a place where you are free enough to put fun and joy and play at the front and still be working hard is inherently going to shift the energy, the magnetism, the vibration, right? 00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:34.559 We can get super spiritual and woo-woo, but it's going to shift your state so much, which is going to create an aura around you that is going to attract different people, places, things, and situations, which is going to kick doors open for different opportunities. 00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:59.679 And, you know, while it seems like a willy-nilly maybe strategy to the very sort of numerical CEO person, and you know, for Rob, he would laugh in my face at this conversation in this part because all he did, and some of it is deeply conditioned for him, was put his head down, not sleep, and work to the goddamn bone. 00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:00.400 And you know what? 00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:03.519 He has a big swinging dick of a business to show for it. 00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:04.639 Okay. 00:35:05.519 --> 00:35:06.400 Like my husband. 00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:15.920 The idea of him putting fun at the front as the thing he's looking for every day would be like, yeah, cool, you can do that, but you're just gonna stay broke. 00:35:16.079 --> 00:35:16.880 That's what he would say. 00:35:17.119 --> 00:35:18.800 That's what a lot of founders would say. 00:35:18.960 --> 00:35:22.400 Yeah, and I don't think that's necessarily true either. 00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:25.280 I do think there is a balancing act. 00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:37.679 You you can absolutely shove down the pursuit of fun and potentially squeeze the time it takes to achieve the external markers of success. 00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:39.440 That is potentially true. 00:35:39.679 --> 00:35:41.760 There are a lot of CEOs that would say that. 00:35:41.840 --> 00:35:50.559 You know, if you just focus on one thing and you are fucking relentless about it and you do not stop, just one thing, it's going to take off at some point. 00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:52.639 And then you can invite back. 00:35:52.800 --> 00:36:05.440 And there are plenty of people that would say, actually, if that's against your nature and doing that is gonna crush your spirit, and the energy you're gonna give off is kind of toxic and unattractive. 00:36:05.760 --> 00:36:06.400 So do it. 00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:08.400 It's not gonna work out for you. 00:36:08.559 --> 00:36:09.679 It's not gonna grow something. 00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:16.480 And if it does, you'll get you'll be that person that gets the cash and prizes and is fucking miserable. 00:36:16.719 --> 00:36:40.960 So it's part of this is like a little bit of this and a little bit of that, like knowing our nature and what we need to feel our best so we attract what we want, mixed in with probably a little more discipline and focus on the things that we really are great at that we really love doing, instead of being you know, in five places at once, can we try to just be in one or two? 00:36:41.199 --> 00:36:44.079 Yeah, like both,

both are true. 00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:49.920 And I think working together with people who are ball busters like that, they really are Capricorns. 00:36:50.159 --> 00:36:53.519 Yep, let them do that work. 00:36:53.679 --> 00:36:57.760 Yep, that ball busting work because they find that to be a big bun. 00:36:58.159 --> 00:37:04.320 Yeah, and like and like your man, he went into a business that is very big bun for him. 00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:05.920 Like he loves coffee. 00:37:06.239 --> 00:37:07.679 He loves it, it's bun. 00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:12.079 Like he had to have some sort of yeah, he freaking loved it. 00:37:12.320 --> 00:37:13.280 He loves it, yeah. 00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:16.000 So I think that's why it's it wins for him. 00:37:16.079 --> 00:37:26.559 We have to, you know, find what we love, dive into that, and then outsource some of this really like if you're not a ball busting type, like don't act like like that. 00:37:26.639 --> 00:37:28.639 Was my thing I did with the Trump era. 00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:30.400 I tried to be somebody I wasn't. 00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:35.280 I'm like, oh, I'm gonna take on the energy of Trump. 00:37:35.519 --> 00:37:36.400 Like, I'm the boss. 00:37:36.559 --> 00:37:40.880 I wrote a song for I'm the boss, like, and try to wear this type of thing. 00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:43.440 It's like, dude, that's for him. 00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:46.480 I'm definitely not that person at all. 00:37:46.719 --> 00:37:54.079 I'm super like whatever I am, you know, artsy, creative, magic, fun. 00:37:54.639 --> 00:37:54.719 Yeah. 00:37:55.039 --> 00:38:01.599 That's what so really finding you know who you who you are, what works best, leaning into that. 00:38:01.679 --> 00:38:04.480 And yes, we could all use more discipline too, like you were talking about. 00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:06.800 I would love to structure, well, I would love that. 00:38:06.880 --> 00:38:17.440 I actually would hate that, but it would be very smart of me to be like, okay, on Mondays from 12 to 3, we we da-da-da-da. 00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:19.519 Which I'm getting better at. 00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:21.280 Yes, better at. 00:38:23.679 --> 00:38:26.719 It's just like ballet versus like freestyle. 00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:29.599 Exactly. 00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:31.199 That is such a good analogy. 00:38:31.519 --> 00:38:31.840 Right? 00:38:32.159 --> 00:38:32.400 Yeah. 00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:33.760 We need both. 00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:35.280 Yeah, we need both. 00:38:35.519 --> 00:38:35.840 We do. 00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:37.519 We gotta think of this like dancers. 00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:37.920 Yeah. 00:38:39.679 --> 00:38:42.719 We need ballet, we need structure, we need discipline. 00:38:43.199 --> 00:38:48.639 But sometimes we gotta let it go and just go where our body just wants to go. 00:38:49.039 --> 00:39:05.920 You know, it's funny, as you know, I'm kicking off all these wellness workshops, and then I for sure want you to share like what you're working on and and going back into success and also joy, right? 00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:12.320 I want you to just make sure you shout from the rooftops everything you're hard at work at and where people can find it and support it. 00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:22.000 In creating different workshops and seeing what lands, you know, this is like a really fun phase because it's more of an ideation phase. 00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:22.960 It's experimental. 00:39:23.039 --> 00:39:28.079 I'm not super attached, super, I'm a little attached, to the outcome. 00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:31.920 And so I get to just go, what what kind of workshop do I want to do next? 00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:36.239 You know, what what would I want to bring people together to experience? 00:39:36.800 --> 00:39:43.760 And in in the spirit of what is fun and what comes naturally, right? 00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:50.000 I mean, there's no question with me that you can't say dance, like period, full stop, my whole life. 00:39:50.159 --> 00:39:54.400 That's been the thing always that I've had the most fun doing. 00:39:54.639 --> 00:39:59.199 It still is, it shifts my physiologic state, shifts my mood. 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:11.519 And I was like, how do I make a workshop that's centered around that, but still falls under the umbrella of something a little deeper than just a hip-hop class? 00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:13.519 Like, what would that be, right? 00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:19.840 And I, and of course, the minute I decided this, it's all over my goddamn Instagram feed. 00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:22.079 Thank you, AI algorithms. 00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:27.199 Um, I'm gonna have a somatic dance workshop. 00:40:27.360 --> 00:40:32.639 And what that means, essentially, and this is on July 18th on a Saturday, with a live DJ. 00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:42.800 I've never done, I've only ever gone to a club and freestyled if I want to freestyle, or taught a structured, proper class, right? 00:40:42.960 --> 00:40:45.440 Proper warm-up, proper choreography. 00:40:45.760 --> 00:41:06.480 The idea of getting people together and just being a very gentle guide and facilitator to move however the fuck you want to express and emote and release on a deeper level, whatever it is you're carrying, scares the shit out of me and excites me so much. 00:41:06.639 --> 00:41:24.960 But I'm like, Sam, that's you trying to stay in the structure of what you're building and be rigorously true to what you care about at the same time, and to what brings you joy and fun, right, and where you can serve others. 00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:34.239 And so that's like, you know, the more I have my space and the more I spend time dancing, the more I'm like, what are you doing not dancing? 00:41:34.400 --> 00:41:51.119 Like, I know you don't want to be considered a dance teacher and a, you know, like you're so much more than that, but it is a part of your brand and your ethos and your energy and what lights you up, and it's a vehicle you want to give other people to

also express who they are. 00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:52.320 And that's a gift. 00:41:52.400 --> 00:41:57.360 And there's nothing shameful about that, there's nothing less than about that. 00:41:57.440 --> 00:42:04.320 You know, just because I have a fancy degree in one part of my life does not mean I can't also use this other thing that's a gift. 00:42:04.480 --> 00:42:08.079 So, this is like my attempt at everything we're talking about. 00:42:08.239 --> 00:42:13.119 Like, can I make this both successful and fulfilling? 00:42:13.440 --> 00:42:17.199 This next upcoming workshop, and can I grow it into something? 00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:21.760 And then don't you know, you know, this person that has a gazillion followers on Instagram? 00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:25.360 This is all he does is somatic dance. 00:42:25.519 --> 00:42:30.880 Oh, he hosts these hour-long sessions globally on the internet. 00:42:31.599 --> 00:42:35.920 Hundreds and hundreds of people are just virtual flailing around. 00:42:36.239 --> 00:42:37.039 Is it virtual? 00:42:37.199 --> 00:42:45.360 Yeah, and then he'll but then it spit it spins into coaching and body-based healing. 00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:58.800 And so his Instagram feed is this mixture of movement and how moving is so cathartic and why and what it's doing, interesting conversations around processing stress, tension, trauma through the body, not just through the head. 00:42:58.960 --> 00:43:06.159 And it's really this umbrella that I'm trying to be underneath right now, which is not just body, but body and mind, and the two of those things together. 00:43:06.239 --> 00:43:07.760 And I'm like, you know what? 00:43:07.920 --> 00:43:10.239 I know it's a thing that can be successful. 00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:13.119 I'm seeing it on my feed, it exists, people want it. 00:43:13.280 --> 00:43:17.280 Yeah, so now that's my like up and coming, you know, thing that I'm gonna try out. 00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:18.480 So more will be revealed. 00:43:18.559 --> 00:43:19.280 Stay tuned for that. 00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:20.079 But I love that. 00:43:20.239 --> 00:43:20.800 What about you? 00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:24.000 What's your current version of where success meets fulfillment? 00:43:24.079 --> 00:43:26.239 The project, the thing that you're promoting. 00:43:26.559 --> 00:43:29.679 Well, uh, I have a residency in Las Vegas. 00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:30.800 Fuck yeah. 00:43:31.039 --> 00:43:33.760 Yeah, it's called uh C3 Lounge. 00:43:33.840 --> 00:43:36.800 We're gonna be performing July 4th at C3 Lounge. 00:43:37.039 --> 00:43:40.000 You can get your tickets at C3LoungeEvents.com. 00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:42.239 And I'm performing Is that number three? 00:43:42.320 --> 00:43:43.679 Uh letter C and number three. 00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:44.559 Okay. 00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:45.519 Yeah, the number. 00:43:45.679 --> 00:43:49.599 I'm performing with April Diamond, this other Billboard Top 40 recording artist. 00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:51.920 Uh, you know,

we're putting on a great show. 00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:54.400 But it's turning into a DJ set. 00:43:54.960 --> 00:43:56.800 So I DJed for the first time. 00:43:56.960 --> 00:43:57.360 Really? 00:43:57.599 --> 00:43:58.639 Yeah, yeah. 00:43:58.960 --> 00:43:59.679 A couple weeks ago. 00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:01.119 A week ago. 00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:03.679 And it was really, it was a lot of fun. 00:44:03.840 --> 00:44:07.440 So that kind of awakened me because I was really nervous to do it. 00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:08.079 I bet. 00:44:08.239 --> 00:44:08.880 I was nervous. 00:44:09.039 --> 00:44:12.719 And then I saw this boy on Instagram, like the same thing with your what you're talking about. 00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:16.880 He was doing exactly the kind of music that I'm doing, like the kind of like the same type of pop. 00:44:16.960 --> 00:44:17.280 Yeah. 00:44:17.519 --> 00:44:20.239 All the pop girlies and put it all in there. 00:44:20.320 --> 00:44:24.239 And I was like, oh yeah, he he's like crushing it. 00:44:24.480 --> 00:44:30.559 So I'm like, yeah, that's like pretty much what I'm you know, where I'm headed and where I'm going to. 00:44:31.119 --> 00:44:38.000 Um so yeah, so definitely this next show is gonna be a lot more like a of a DJ set, which is really nice. 00:44:38.159 --> 00:44:38.719 It's fun. 00:44:39.039 --> 00:44:42.159 And then A Little Birdie in a Tree told me you have an album coming out? 00:44:42.400 --> 00:44:43.119 Yes, I do. 00:44:43.280 --> 00:44:44.719 Oh, uh will you tell us about it? 00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:55.679 I just uploaded my album to all of the distribution platforms, so that means it's gonna be coming out in August, on August 7th, and the album was called Filling the Void. 00:44:55.840 --> 00:45:04.480 And I'm super excited about this record, and you know, you know when you put it up on the distribution platforms, you're like, okay, put it to rest. 00:45:04.639 --> 00:45:20.159 Like, abandon this, and I I have had it for like months now, like just kind of doing minor minor baby tweaks here and there as I'm listening, and then finally I was just in Vegas and listening to the record, and I'm like, this shit's done. 00:45:20.559 --> 00:45:22.320 Please, this shit's done. 00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:32.159 I mean, I hear, of course, problems with it, you know, but it's never gonna be perfect, and I kind of I just love the imperfections as well. 00:45:32.719 --> 00:45:38.800 It's because it's it's a synthetic record that has a lot of emotion in it at the same time. 00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:41.440 I even wrote a song called Synthetic Love. 00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:44.559 All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is synthetic love. 00:45:45.199 --> 00:45:56.000 So he used the character, uses like programs and logic and reason to ignore shame. 00:45:56.480 --> 00:45:57.760 That's that was one of the lyrics. 00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:15.679 And uh deleting feelings that don't serve me, living this life like a robot, and then you kind of

realize that there's a lot of emotion there in the record, even though I'm highly, highly auto-tuned. 00:46:18.320 --> 00:46:20.000 I just like that sound. 00:46:20.239 --> 00:46:21.840 Yeah, I do, I like it. 00:46:21.920 --> 00:46:30.159 I I've been watching like these indie singers like do these huge festivals, they're getting up there, and that they have like millions of followers, and no one knows who they are. 00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:36.079 Like no one, except for their core bass, and they are auto-tuned to the max. 00:46:36.719 --> 00:46:37.840 Way more than me. 00:46:38.000 --> 00:46:40.239 Um, no, but I did crank up the auto-tune. 00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:46.320 I do like that sound, but then certain moments I would release it and just have like a very dry vocal, too, so you can hear my voice. 00:46:46.559 --> 00:47:00.800 It's like I think listen, it auto-tuning when you can't sing to cover that up is a totally different thing than auto-tuning as a artistic and creative choice. 00:47:01.119 --> 00:47:02.000 Yes, right. 00:47:02.159 --> 00:47:09.119 I mean, you are you are super talented, so that it's just a preference at this point, it's a stylistic preference. 00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:12.159 Yeah, my mom is very depressed about it. 00:47:13.920 --> 00:47:15.440 Can you please take out the auto tune? 00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:23.440 And then I played the record for my aesthetician, Michelle, and she said it was the best record I've ever made by far. 00:47:23.599 --> 00:47:25.519 And she says this is incredible. 00:47:25.679 --> 00:47:29.119 Um, and she's she's a big Ricky Rebel fan musically. 00:47:29.280 --> 00:47:34.239 She like loves, she plays it on YouTube all the time, my music. 00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:38.880 Um yeah, I think it's a there's something very special about this this record. 00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:41.679 I was really heavily inspired by Charlie, XCX. 00:47:42.719 --> 00:47:45.199 That album, Brat, like kicked my ass. 00:47:45.599 --> 00:47:46.960 It's still kicking my ass. 00:47:47.119 --> 00:47:48.639 Yeah, you've loved that for a while. 00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:49.920 It's kicking my ass. 00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:53.519 And even her new stuff too is is brilliant. 00:47:54.239 --> 00:47:58.960 Um so she's been a huge uh catalyst for this record. 00:47:59.360 --> 00:47:59.679 So yeah. 00:47:59.920 --> 00:48:01.280 Well, I'm so excited to hear it. 00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:03.280 I've only heard some of it. 00:48:03.599 --> 00:48:05.119 Yeah, I think I played most of it. 00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:05.440 Yeah. 00:48:05.679 --> 00:48:05.840 Yeah. 00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:08.880 I feel like I I need another serious listen. 00:48:09.199 --> 00:48:13.679 I think I need to have like I would love, I hate to say this, but like throw a party or something. 00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:17.119 Can we can we do like a canyon club, like dance party? 00:48:17.280 --> 00:48:18.079 Oh my god. 00:48:18.320 --> 00:48:21.199 And just like intermittently play the record or something. 00:48:21.679 --> 00:48:22.000 Jeez. 00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:24.400 Brian knows everybody at Canyon Club. 00:48:24.559 --> 00:48:26.960 Why can't we just do like a dance pop show? 00:48:27.280 --> 00:48:31.920 Like, dance music all night long, dance music, dance explosion. 00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:32.400 We can. 00:48:32.639 --> 00:48:34.000 And then I have guest performers. 00:48:34.159 --> 00:48:36.079 You can do your song, I'd throw you in the mix. 00:48:36.159 --> 00:48:38.159 I throw Tony in the mix, Johnny in the mix. 00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:39.920 Dude, the venue is right here. 00:48:40.159 --> 00:48:46.159 You should find out what they're you know, what the rates look like on a weeknight. 00:48:47.119 --> 00:48:49.280 It's just getting people to come. 00:48:50.719 --> 00:48:53.039 Dun dun dun dun. 00:48:54.400 --> 00:48:57.840 Yeah, but if it's a really collaborative effort that that helps. 00:48:58.079 --> 00:48:59.119 It's gotta be collaborative. 00:48:59.199 --> 00:49:02.159 You know, everyone can bring some of their own audience. 00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:02.800 Yeah. 00:49:03.039 --> 00:49:06.239 But don't this place needs like a dance night. 00:49:06.480 --> 00:49:07.360 Oh yeah. 00:49:07.679 --> 00:49:10.639 Like 80s, 90s, 2000s. 00:49:10.960 --> 00:49:11.920 You should hear my questions. 00:49:12.159 --> 00:49:17.679 But Canyon Club has a built-in, like, if they would help market it, yeah, if we market it. 00:49:18.000 --> 00:49:20.559 We should see what they have and don't have already. 00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:27.199 And if there's like a gap to fill, that people who look to see what the Canyon Club has been doing. 00:49:27.360 --> 00:49:39.840 I've offered the show, I mean, off the record, off the record, off the record, like it's press play, it's already not bell, like a four-hour show, or two hours, whatever it is. 00:49:40.159 --> 00:49:43.440 And then I just I manipulate the sounds as we go along, you know? 00:49:44.159 --> 00:49:47.599 But it's like, oh, if you hear Whitney Houston playing, like you're up. 00:49:49.199 --> 00:49:51.679 You hear Whitney, that's your you're on. 00:49:52.000 --> 00:49:56.159 And you get up and you perform one number, like your number, and you get up. 00:49:57.039 --> 00:50:02.159 And at the end I'll play like a few songs from the new record, or like a few songs in in between. 00:50:03.599 --> 00:50:04.960 I think it'd be rad. 00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:08.480 But I'm saying, like success. 00:50:08.800 --> 00:50:11.440 What is I want that crowd, you know, I want the whole thing. 00:50:11.679 --> 00:50:13.599 But you gotta work towards that, like you say. 00:50:14.480 --> 00:50:15.840 Boots on the ground. 00:50:16.079 --> 00:50:17.440 Yeah, yeah. 00:50:17.840 --> 00:50:45.360 I'm having an event at Canyon Club, you know, my my events that I kept throwing and throwing and throwing, and it's not that it's not that people didn't come, but it wasn't growing compared to the effort I was

putting in, you know, the time and the money and the monthly, and and so going into this year, that's another thing that I was like, I'm gonna hit the pause button because I need to recalibrate on what I'm doing with that. 00:50:46.559 --> 00:50:55.119 And I was gonna space everything out to be quarterly, and instead I was like, I'm making it an annual event. 00:50:55.280 --> 00:50:57.360 I am doing once a year. 00:50:58.239 --> 00:51:01.199 I am gonna give myself a long runway to promote it. 00:51:01.360 --> 00:51:01.920 That's smart. 00:51:02.079 --> 00:51:13.199 I am gonna get some serious ass people to come to it and give a lot of people time on the stage so they bring their own audiences, so I fill up the goddamn room. 00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:17.840 Yep, and I'm changing my marketing and my messaging. 00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:24.480 So literally, I'm about to start promoting for an it's October 20th, so it's months and away from it now. 00:51:25.119 --> 00:51:31.360 I have this woman who runs a super big annual event coming and speaking at it. 00:51:32.719 --> 00:51:39.920 Partly that is so that she can also watch what I do and see me speak and get to know me better because I really like her. 00:51:40.079 --> 00:51:42.719 I really like how her mind works, I love what she's building. 00:51:42.880 --> 00:51:43.360 Yeah. 00:51:43.679 --> 00:51:48.639 And I it's about it's it's called cycle breakers. 00:51:48.719 --> 00:51:53.199 So instead of it being like heart conscious creators, which is a cool name, but it's kind of like, what is it? 00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:54.159 What is this event? 00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:54.880 What is it about? 00:51:55.039 --> 00:51:55.920 Who is it for? 00:51:56.239 --> 00:52:03.840 Cycle breakers, and it is literally for women who are finding their voice, owning their stories, and sharing their messages. 00:52:04.159 --> 00:52:04.559 Period. 00:52:04.719 --> 00:52:10.239 So it is going to attract a very specific type of person who wants to get their message out. 00:52:10.320 --> 00:52:16.480 And so I'm giving people like time on the stage to share a five or ten minute version of their story interspersed with a pat. 00:52:16.800 --> 00:52:17.039 Yeah. 00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:18.800 It's like a speaker festival. 00:52:19.039 --> 00:52:19.519 Yeah. 00:52:19.760 --> 00:52:29.679 And I'm like, I don't know how well the first one's gonna go, but now knowing what it actually is, it's taken all this time with the book and like, what am I doing with this event? 00:52:29.840 --> 00:52:30.480 What is it for? 00:52:30.639 --> 00:52:32.800 What am I, you know, and because it was cool. 00:52:32.960 --> 00:52:33.920 I mean your event was great. 00:52:34.159 --> 00:52:34.559 It's cool. 00:52:34.639 --> 00:52:40.079 It's it's I love throwing events, but but it was very hard. 00:52:40.320 --> 00:52:41.039 It's a thing. 00:52:41.199 --> 00:52:41.840 Yeah. 00:52:42.960 --> 00:53:01.440 So just for today, everyone listening, just for today, try to keep all of your big beautiful dreams intact, but stay as detached from the timing and the specific outcome of them as you possibly can. 00:53:01.599 --> 00:53:01.920 Right. 00:53:02.079 --> 00:53:04.159 And don't fucking forget to have fun. 00:53:06.000 --> 00:53:06.480 Amen. 00:53:07.039 --> 00:53:07.679 Amen.