Volledige transcriptie van The Most Important Relationship in Your Business — The One With Yourself

closest uh to what the Blue Zone people drink that we've artificially uh created through this company called Zay Zen, Z-A-Z-D-E-N water. 00:04:54.800 --> 00:05:01.279 So eat good quality organic food, drink to at least two waters a day, two liters of water a day. 00:05:01.519 --> 00:05:09.120 Move your body regularly and I mean move, like get a bit of a sweat up, get your heart rate up three to four times a week, moving your body regularly. 00:05:09.199 --> 00:05:14.720 And I don't care if it's three times, I don't care if it's five times, just moving your body regularly is really important. 00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:17.759 Keep promises to yourself. 00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:19.600 Don't let yourself down. 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:24.480 If you say, look, Sharon, I'm gonna go to bed at this time and I'm gonna get up at this time, do it. 00:05:24.639 --> 00:05:27.360 Don't let yourself down, go stuffed up again. 00:05:27.519 --> 00:05:29.759 You weren't even serious to begin with if you set the goal. 00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:31.439 Set the goal, stick with it. 00:05:31.759 --> 00:05:37.199 Back what you say you're going to do, and then you'll start to trust yourself more. 00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:44.480 Spend time with people that are kind and uplifting and expanding. 00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:51.040 Hanging out with people that just are lovely, good, wholesome people is really important. 00:05:51.279 --> 00:05:55.759 If you haven't got those good, wholesome people around you, set a goal to meet more of those people. 00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:02.480 If you're not a good, wholesome person yourself, which I'm sure you are if you're listening to my podcast, but if you feel like you've got some work to do, go do the work. 00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:13.360 Go to a psych, go to a therapist, go to think, go talk to somebody to help you figure out why you might be doing things in a certain way and understand what that might be. 00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:14.720 You're not alone. 00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:27.360 You can read a book, you can listen to podcasts, you can start educating yourself if you feel, because I think to attract good quality, nice people into your life, you've got to be a good quality, nice person, or those sort of people aren't going to want to be around you. 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:30.800 So developing yourself so you do attract those sort of people. 00:06:30.959 --> 00:06:36.800 And I'm not ashamed to say that I'm always looking out for really nice, good quality friends. 00:06:37.040 --> 00:06:38.240 I set a goal every year. 00:06:38.319 --> 00:06:41.600 I want to attract three new friends into my life. 00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:53.759 I love being around good quality, nice people that are just wholesome and doing good things for the world and growing and learning and authentic and just really glass half-ball type people. 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:57.199 They're hard to find, but they're out there. 00:06:57.279 --> 00:06:58.079 So look for them. 00:06:58.240 --> 00:06:59.600 Set a goal to find them. 00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:04.480 Because being around those sort of people, I'm very, very lucky to have a lot of good people around me. 00:07:04.639 --> 00:07:07.519 And, you know, I was just born into a beautiful family. 00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:08.800 I'm very, very lucky. 00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:10.639 And I know that I'm lucky with that. 00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:18.879 But obviously, the anything outside of that, I've worked to try really hard to surround myself with good quality people. 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:21.680 Speak to yourself with respect. 00:07:21.759 --> 00:07:25.360 And I'm going to expand a little bit on this in a minute, too. 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:28.319 But you've got to say good things to yourself. 00:07:28.399 --> 00:07:36.319 If you're if you're looking at yourself and you're even thinking, oh, I don't like the way this looks, or I don't like the way that looks, or I sound, or whatever. 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:39.439 How many times do I hear from people, I don't like the sound of my own voice? 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:40.240 No one does. 00:07:40.399 --> 00:07:41.199 Get over it. 00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:43.600 You don't, I don't like the sound of my own voice. 00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:44.480 Get over it. 00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:46.879 I just like I started a podcast. 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:51.120 One of the biggest things that stopped me from starting this podcast was what am I going to say? 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:53.439 And I hate the sound of my own voiced voice. 00:07:53.680 --> 00:07:54.160 You know what? 00:07:54.240 --> 00:07:55.600 I've been doing this nearly 12 months. 00:07:55.680 --> 00:07:57.839 I think it's nearly 12 months this month. 00:07:58.000 --> 00:07:59.279 I'm over that now. 00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:00.959 I got over that really early. 00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:02.720 Like, okay, I just want to get my message out there. 00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:06.480 And I started realizing, oh, I've maybe got a bit more to say than I thought. 00:08:06.639 --> 00:08:11.920 So once you start, you kind of create that and you understand that, you know, these things don't really matter. 00:08:12.079 --> 00:08:14.240 Who cares if your voice sounds weird? 00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:15.839 It's it's your voice. 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:16.480 Love it. 00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:18.319 And now I've learned to love my voice. 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:22.399 And ironically, you know, this is really weird as a side note with that. 00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:32.639 I've I remember those of you who are my vintage, you know, when you used to record yourself on the cassettes and you record your voice, and I'd listen back and I go, that's that's not my voice. 00:08:32.799 --> 00:08:33.519 That's not me. 00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:34.159 I don't know. 00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:35.120 Who is that? 00:08:35.279 --> 00:08:37.679 I don't know if you've if you could relate. 00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:38.960 I'm like, that's not me. 00:08:39.039 -->

00:08:40.159 I sound like a boy. 00:08:40.320 --> 00:08:42.080 I don't sound like a woman. 00:08:42.320 --> 00:08:46.000 And then I realized that's that is how I sound. 00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:48.799 And that's where I started to learn I don't like my voice. 00:08:49.039 --> 00:08:54.639 So I had to do a lot of thinking around, you know what, Sharon, it doesn't matter to start this podcast, even. 00:08:54.879 --> 00:09:00.399 So that's a belief that I had that makes no impact on me now, but did for a long time. 00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:05.519 And I don't know what things that I would have avoided based on that belief I had about myself. 00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:10.799 So back to my back to my meaning for this podcast is that speak to yourself with respect. 00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:20.879 Speak, speak to yourself with kindness, with respect, with you know, nice, kind thoughts and words. 00:09:21.279 --> 00:09:24.879 And catch yourself very quickly if you start saying negative things about yourself. 00:09:25.039 --> 00:09:28.480 You just stop that straight away and go, no, that's not the way I think now. 00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:30.879 That's before, this is me now. 00:09:32.080 --> 00:09:38.559 Another one, I know I've mentioned this in other podcasts, but notice yourself in the mirror instead of immediately finding fault. 00:09:38.639 --> 00:09:44.000 So you know that when I walk past a mirror, I always try to remember to look in the mirror and go, oh, you're beautiful. 00:09:44.159 --> 00:09:44.559 Straight away. 00:09:44.639 --> 00:09:46.480 I look at myself and go, oh, you're beautiful. 00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:51.279 Now, did I think I was beautiful when I looked in the mirror all the time? 00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:52.399 No, I didn't. 00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:58.080 I look at myself and go, oh, look at that's how my hair's and oh no, all the things that us girls think. 00:09:58.159 --> 00:10:00.240 We think all the negative stuff. 00:10:00.639 --> 00:10:03.039 We need to start looking in the mirror and going, you're beautiful. 00:10:03.120 --> 00:10:04.480 And then find the things that it'd be. 00:10:04.559 --> 00:10:09.279 If I like my hair, I like this, I like that, I like that, and start saying nice things to you to yourself. 00:10:09.440 --> 00:10:11.840 Before you know it, you'll start feeling great about yourself. 00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:18.799 And you too will be walking past mirrors going, Oh, you're beautiful, you're hot, you're sexy, whatever you want to say to yourself. 00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:25.200 I mean, I tell myself all wonderful things in the mirror, and I think, I'm sure you think I'm mad, but you know, it doesn't matter. 00:10:25.279 --> 00:10:26.799 You just say nice things to yourself. 00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:30.639 Attempt things before you feel completely ready to do so. 00:10:30.879 --> 00:10:37.519 Soon after my separation, I used to be a touch football player back in my little tiny community. 00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:40.320 It's easy

to be a gun in a tiny community, isn't it? 00:10:40.559 --> 00:10:47.039 And I loved it and I found it exhilarating and I could run really fast and I got tries and it felt fantastic. 00:10:47.200 --> 00:10:49.679 So that was in my early 20s. 00:10:49.919 --> 00:11:01.200 I separated in uh 40 something, early 40s, and I thought, you know what, I'm going to join a touch football team, and I couldn't find one out here, so I went into Brisbane City and I joined a touch football team. 00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:04.960 Well, goodness gracious, I wasn't as good as what I remembered I was. 00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:13.600 I did about three games and I just, oh lordy, I'd lost a lot of fitness and I felt way, way out of my depth. 00:11:13.840 --> 00:11:19.200 You play touch football in a big city like Brisbane, it's very different to a small country town. 00:11:19.360 --> 00:11:25.360 So I didn't uh do that for very much longer because I thought I was actually gonna injure myself trying to prove that I could keep up with them. 00:11:25.440 --> 00:11:27.519 So I chose a different sport. 00:11:27.679 --> 00:11:33.759 I decided not to pursue my touch football career in my mid-40s. 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:38.159 But attempting things before you feel completely ready, that's an example of that. 00:11:38.240 --> 00:11:40.799 I thought, you know what, I'm gonna put myself out there, see how I go. 00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:42.159 Yes, I was nervous. 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:46.240 I thought, you know what, I'm putting myself into a group of people I've never met before. 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:49.600 I was a single woman, and I thought I'm going to give it a go. 00:11:49.840 --> 00:11:56.480 While I learned pretty quick that I was a bit out of my league, I discovered other things that I could do. 00:11:56.639 --> 00:12:03.440 And that really sort of grew from there with the other sort of hobbies that I was uh stepping into. 00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:08.000 Record the things you've handled that you once thought you could not. 00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:25.759 So write out, get a journal, even uh in your notes, start writing out the things that you've handled that you once thought you could not, because you be whether you like it or not, you're doing things on a daily basis that perhaps 10 or 20 years ago that you couldn't have done. 00:12:25.919 --> 00:12:31.279 And now you're doing it, doing it because you've learned and you've experienced it through repetition or whatever it might be. 00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:35.600 So acknowledging that that you've grown and you've learned, which I think is an important thing. 00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:52.000 All of these things that I've just read out eating good quality food, drinking a lot of water, moving your body regularly, keeping promises to yourself, spending time with people who are kind and loving and uplifting, speak to yourself with respect and kindness, noticing yourself in the mirror and saying, you're sexy, you're beautiful. 00:12:52.240

--> 00:12:58.480 Attempt things before you feel completely ready and record these things that you've already handled that you once couldn't have. 00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:00.639 All of those things are like the foundation. 00:13:00.879 --> 00:13:06.320 That's the foundation that we need to kind of wake up with every day to go, oh, got that sorted. 00:13:06.480 --> 00:13:10.799 If you haven't got that sorted, these are the things to be consistently working on. 00:13:10.960 --> 00:13:15.279 These are the things I definitely have seen as my foundational things. 00:13:15.360 --> 00:13:23.279 And I don't know how much I've told you about this in my previous podcast, but I attended a whole bunch of professional development in my mid-20s. 00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:29.279 I did the Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within three or four times, and then we we staffed that. 00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:48.320 So we staffed that about three times in Australia, then we did the uh Tony Robbins University, we went to Palm Springs and we did the one with relationships, and we did the we we did some of the um the university that he did, but then we did other things too. 00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:49.679 We did a whole bunch of different things. 00:13:49.759 --> 00:13:59.360 We never did there's one called Landmark that apparently is very good as well, and I've heard a lot of good stories about those, that, um, which is a really good self-development sort of thing. 00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:06.639 But we threw ourselves at a whole bunch of different things with books and um seminars and things of a whole bunch of different things. 00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:18.399 And I kind of cherry-picked the things out of the conferences that we did uh to lay this found kind of foundation that I've come up with and read books and things to come up with that foundation for myself. 00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:20.639 So these are the things that I'm constantly working on. 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:30.320 I'm not saying that I have these things nailed all the time, but I know that they're kind of my foundation that I need to work on to make sure that I've got um that strong. 00:14:30.399 --> 00:14:39.360 Because anything that you might put yourself out there as a might feel a bit of a stretch or a you know, bit beyond what you would think that you could do. 00:14:39.600 --> 00:14:50.159 If you haven't got these foundational things happening, it's gonna be a little bit trickier because when you're eating lots of chemicals and sugar and things like that, it's you know, your body's not coping so well. 00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:53.039 You're probably not moving as much as you should if you're doing that. 00:14:53.279 --> 00:15:01.600 Um if you're not moving your body and you're not got blood running through your body and you're feeling fit, you're not gonna feel as good about yourself, you're not gonna get those feel-good endorphins. 00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:03.679 There's so many good things about that list. 00:15:03.759

--> 00:15:08.000 But again, cherry pick from that list and come up with your own list of your foundation. 00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:11.360 There, this is the world according to Sharon Francisco. 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:14.080 So just cherry pick from that or use mine. 00:15:14.159 --> 00:15:15.679 It's up to you with what you want to do. 00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:17.600 But the foundation has to be strong. 00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:19.919 Sleep is another one that I haven't put in there. 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:28.320 I'm pretty anal about the time I go to sleep and I wake up and I've always, thank goodness, I've always been a good sleeper. 00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:31.600 And I think that I might have convinced myself of that. 00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:35.200 And if you're not a good sleeper, reach out to me. 00:15:35.279 --> 00:15:42.559 I've got a whole bunch of ideas about getting good sleep, and a lot's got to do with functional medicine as well. 00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:50.159 So, um, and I've got a functional medicine episode on here, and I'm about to interview another functional medicine doctor as well. 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:53.360 So, sleep is one of the one of the really important ones. 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:56.559 If you're not getting enough sleep, it can truly, truly affect you. 00:15:56.720 --> 00:15:58.080 So make sure you're doing that. 00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:08.080 All right, I'm gonna give you an example of um how you can start believing in yourself more around this sort of stuff. 00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:22.159 So if you feel like you're about to step into big scary things in your business, you're about to hire a bookkeeper for the first time, or you're about to make a decision to grow your revenue and start to step up with the type of clients you work with, or starting to step back and delegating from your business. 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:36.559 So you're just working on your business and doing more marketing and um professional development for your bookkeepers, anything that might feel like a bit of a stretch, this story is for you to know that this stretching can feel weird and awkward and you may not feel ready for it. 00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:50.000 And it might feel a bit scary, like putting out your prices, or moving from hourly rate to fixed pricing, or moving from fixed pricing to value pricing, where you're pricing based on your value, not the amount of hours work you do. 00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:55.039 And I know for a lot of people that can feel a little bit uh hard to get your head around. 00:16:55.360 --> 00:17:01.279 This story is for any of you that are starting to make steps into the areas that you feel a bit unsure about. 00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:15.519 Not long after I separated in 2013 with my husband, he we were together for 26 years, I made a decision, not consciously, subconsciously, to stop spending money on anything that was not necessary. 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:19.200 I stopped everything, including my thyroid medication. 00:17:19.279 --> 00:17:21.279 I can't believe that I did that, but I did that. 00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:27.359 I stopped all spending on uh anything that I deemed as extra. 00:17:27.519 --> 00:17:35.119 And because I was a single mum, I had to budget carefully and I just which I just stopped spending money. 00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:45.359 And replacing an iPhone, and at that time I can't remember how much it was, but a couple of grand anyway, wasn't on my bingo card. 00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:48.880 I I wasn't spending any extra money. 00:17:49.359 --> 00:17:52.240 So I had to careful carefully budget. 00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:59.440 I uh was quite intimidated by anything that I felt like I had to spend extra money on. 00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:06.480 So of course, when I went, I went, I used to shop at Aldi, and I still do, no judgment with that. 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:11.680 Um, I think that there's some amazing things at Aldi, but I did all my shopping at Aldi. 00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:16.799 Every Saturday morning I'd go down and get all the things, including my cat food and all the things. 00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:18.960 I went down on this Saturday morning. 00:18:19.039 --> 00:18:19.759 It was very busy. 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:23.839 If you've ever been to Al an Aldi on Saturday morning, it's very, very busy. 00:18:24.079 --> 00:18:29.680 And for some reason, when I in the cat food section, I left my iPhone on top of a box. 00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:36.640 I went through, got my groceries, drove home, and realized I had left my phone at Aldi. 00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:46.000 Now I went home and I got my other son's phone and I rang my son that lives in San Francisco on his phone. 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:53.440 Now, my son, quite thankfully, was working in downtown San Francisco at an Apple store. 00:18:53.839 --> 00:18:55.759 So I rang him and I explained what had happened. 00:18:55.839 --> 00:18:56.960 I said, Zachy, can you help me? 00:18:57.039 --> 00:19:02.799 And he said, Definitely, Mom, there's an alarm on your phone that I can set because Zach has all my passwords and everything in my phone. 00:19:02.880 --> 00:19:08.000 So he just logged in and he said, I'm going to set your alarm off on your phone when you go back. 00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:08.799 And I said, Great. 00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:11.759 And he said, It's going to be quite loud and it'll be easy for you to hear. 00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:12.559 I'm like, Great. 00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:14.960 I think it should be just sitting on top of the cat food thing. 00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:16.160 I know where I was last. 00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:21.759 Walked in and then he set the alarm off and it wasn't at that area. 00:19:21.920 --> 00:19:24.559 So I said, but I can hear it at the front of the Audi store. 00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:26.319 So I walked up to the front of the Audi store. 00:19:26.480 --> 00:19:28.240 There was about 30 people at the registers. 00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:31.200 You know what it's like with uh

supermarkets on Saturday mornings. 00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:32.799 It was very, very busy. 00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:35.119 And the alarm was going off. 00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:35.680 I could hear it. 00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:37.519 It was like beep, beep, beep, really loud. 00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:39.039 And I was like, that's my phone. 00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:40.640 Great, somebody's got it. 00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:45.039 So I said in a very loud voice, in front of 30 to 50 people. 00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:47.200 I can't remember how many there were, but there were a lot there. 00:19:47.359 --> 00:19:51.759 In a very loud voice, I said, That's my phone. 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:54.640 That alarm is my phone. 00:19:54.960 --> 00:19:56.960 Who has my phone? 00:19:57.200 --> 00:20:01.519 Now I said that really loud, and everyone stopped and looked at me. 00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:03.599 Intimidated much. 00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:09.200 I felt completely out of my comfort zone yelling out, saying that that's my phone. 00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:11.119 That alarm is my phone. 00:20:11.839 --> 00:20:19.359 No one did anything, they just stared at me, including the cash cashiers, like the um the people that were serving. 00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:22.400 They they just everyone just stopped and stared at me. 00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:27.119 And in my body, I just wanted to run. 00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:34.480 And I thought, I can't. 00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:39.119 I I am not spending money on another new iPhone. 00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:39.839 I'm just not. 00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:41.359 I I it's not in the budget. 00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:42.720 I'm not spending that money. 00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:48.720 So I gathered up the carriage again to say, that alarm is my phone. 00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:50.240 Where is my phone? 00:20:50.640 --> 00:20:52.640 Who has got my phone? 00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:54.880 I said it three to four times. 00:20:55.039 --> 00:21:00.799 I yelled, and seriously, it was quite intimidating and embarrassing and overwhelming. 00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:16.960 Eventually, a person not too far away, a lady in one of the lines quite close, stepped forward, put a hand in her pocket, pulled out the phone that was beeping very, very loudly at this stage because I think she was trying to muffle it. 00:21:17.599 --> 00:21:19.039 And she handed it to me. 00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:24.160 And me in my little innocent way, I thought she'd found it. 00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:26.079 And I said, Thank you so much. 00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:27.039 Thank you so much. 00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:28.240 I am so grateful. 00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:28.640 Thank you. 00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:30.559 And the cashier said, Thank you so much. 00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:31.440 I really appreciate it. 00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:33.359 I'm sorry to disturb everyone. 00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:33.920 Thank you. 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:34.880 I found my phone. 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:36.640 I said, and out I went. 00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:38.720 And stupid me as I was driving home. 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:40.880 I'm like, that girl had my phone. 00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:45.440 She was trying to let me make me go away, I'm sure, by muffling it. 00:21:45.599 --> 00:21:47.759 So, anyway, that's not part of the story. 00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:59.200 So essentially, I had to gather up the courage to stand up for myself because I felt like I was essentially backed into a corner because I didn't want to spend the money. 00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:03.279 I didn't have the Money to spend on another iPhone anyway. 00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:22.240 So, because of the feeling of me being vulnerable around money, it actually forced me out way out of my comfort zone to do something that I never, ever, ever would as a married woman with two incomes and feeling quite comfortable around money. 00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:23.839 I never would have done it, ever. 00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:26.079 So, what was the difference? 00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:27.039 Nothing. 00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:31.440 Still the same Sharon, but I was putting putting myself into a different situation. 00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:32.880 By then I was a single mother. 00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:37.519 And me, a single mother, I felt um quite vulnerable around money. 00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:41.759 And I knew I had to speak up to if I didn't want to spend the money. 00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:49.920 So it forced me into becoming more courageous than I probably would have if I wasn't feeling the vulnerability around my money. 00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:58.400 So the real lesson here is what struck me afterwards was that I had absolutely no choice but to back myself. 00:22:58.640 --> 00:23:00.720 I couldn't afford to feel embarrassed. 00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:07.440 I could not worry about 30 strangers that just stared back at me and didn't say anything or do anything. 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:12.000 I could not quietly disappear because making a scene felt uncomfortable. 00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:15.279 I needed that phone, so I found my voice. 00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:17.440 Literally, I spoke up. 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:23.440 Would I have behaved that boldly if replacing it had meant nothing financially? 00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:24.799 Maybe not. 00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:30.480 Hard times sometimes removes the luxury of self-doubt. 00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:40.079 They force us to find a stronger version of ourselves because the comfortable option is no longer available. 00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:44.559 So I was shaking, but I still did it. 00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:46.160 And I literally was shaking. 00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:47.599 I was so nervous. 00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:50.799 That is what confidence really looks like. 00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:57.920 It's not the absence of fear or embarrassment or waiting for you till till you're ready. 00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:05.279 It's deciding that what matters is more important than how uncomfortable you might feel about it. 00:24:06.319 -->

00:24:12.880 You don't need to wait until life backs you into a corner to do this, which is the good thing. 00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:18.160 You can start practicing that kind of self-trust right now. 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:21.920 So let's think about and talk about the science behind this stuff. 00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:32.480 Psychologist Albert Bandura called this, and I struggle with the pronunciation of this self-efficacy. 00:24:33.119 --> 00:24:35.119 So I'm not going to try and say that again. 00:24:35.359 --> 00:24:39.599 Our belief in our ability to handle a particular challenge. 00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:42.960 So it's all around the belief that we can do it. 00:24:43.359 --> 00:24:50.799 His research found the strongest source of this self-efficacy is mastery experience. 00:24:51.039 --> 00:24:59.599 We build belief by attempting something, working through it, and collecting evidence that we can cope. 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:05.680 So we gather the evidence that we can actually do that by telling ourselves, well, I did this and I did this and I did this. 00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:10.000 Confidence is therefore built through action, not waiting. 00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:13.519 And this comes from the American Psychological Association. 00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:17.279 Your focus on relationships is also sound. 00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:26.480 The Harvard study of adult development found that warm and supportive relationships are strongly connected with happiness and long-term health. 00:25:26.559 --> 00:25:38.079 That's why relationships, the people that you spend the time most time with, have such a massive, massive impact on who you are and how you behave and what you do. 00:25:39.039 --> 00:25:48.000 The popular claim that we become the average of the five people is not established science, but who we surround ourselves with matters. 00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:49.839 And this is Harvard research. 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:55.759 Because I always talk about the five people we spend the most time with is, you know, essentially who you are, who you become. 00:25:55.920 --> 00:26:02.400 There's no uh studies around this, but basically there are studies that support that kind of thinking through Harvard. 00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:05.200 A fascinating challenge for the mirror section. 00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:25.519 So, you know, when we talk about the mirror, looking into the mirror and saying good things, research suggests that exaggerated affirmations can actually sometimes make people with low self-esteem feel actually worse by saying that because they say, Oh, you're beautiful, but then the internal dialogue is perhaps no, you're not, or whatever. 00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:32.640 So perhaps the practice is not pretending, it is deliberate learning to see yourself with warmth. 00:26:32.880 --> 00:26:42.319 So try this instead if you feel that this is my body by saying this, this is my body, it has carried me through everything. 00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:51.039 So in my case, it's carried me through um being pregnant with two boys and giving birth naturally to two boys. 00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:54.079 And I my body has carried me through that. 00:26:54.640 --> 00:27:03.279 I'm going to treat it like it belongs to someone I deeply love, which is yourself. 00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:16.720 So think about all the amazing things that you've done throughout your life, and by treating your body and talking to it like it belongs to somebody that you deeply love. 00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:21.119 So looking through that lens might be a little bit helpful as well. 00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:23.039 So the challenge. 00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:31.200 If you're thinking, you know what, I'm already confident this episode isn't for me, I want you to think bigger and think about where you can take this. 00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:43.039 So if you've already established that you've got a bit of, you know, a feeling that you can do anything that you put your mind to and you feel you're confident with that and whatever thing that you put your mind to that you can achieve. 00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:47.440 Have you really truly reached your full potential, do you think? 00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:50.559 Or have you simply become comfortable at your current level? 00:27:50.720 --> 00:27:57.279 And I would challenge you, if you are feeling comfortable at this level, it's time to step up and look at what the next level is. 00:27:57.599 --> 00:28:02.240 When the business finally works, that's not necessarily the arrival. 00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:05.680 That can be actually the beginning of your next stage. 00:28:05.759 --> 00:28:12.480 And whatever your next stage might be, it might be your contribution stage where you start to teach what you've learned. 00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:15.920 It might be where you start to create more artistically. 00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:23.839 You might start start doing some different working on different skills that you can either teach other people or just for your own well-being. 00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:26.160 Who could benefit from what you've learned? 00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:31.119 So thinking about that, what challenge would require you to become someone new? 00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:36.640 So thinking about what you would need to get as a challenge to go to that next level. 00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:41.519 My personal belief is with this is we've been put on this earth for a reason. 00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:55.839 And I believe we've been put on this earth to live into our full unexplored skills and our inner knowledge that perhaps hasn't been fully expressed yet. 00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:59.119 So, what were we put here for? 00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:12.480 So, my belief is at this stage of my life, I believe I've been put on this earth to help as many women in finance be financially independent because of the fear that I've gone through. 00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:21.200 And I've just told you that story at Aldi, that has shaped me into somebody

that wasn't the Sharon Francisco before that. 00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:24.960 That's why I thought it was so important for me to take my maiden name back. 00:29:25.119 --> 00:29:27.440 My married name was Sharon Parsons. 00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:35.119 My maiden, my name that I was born with was Sharon Francisco, and it was very, very important for me to take my name back. 00:29:35.279 --> 00:29:36.880 So I felt like me again. 00:29:37.039 --> 00:29:42.079 And even my husband, because it was an amicable separation, said, You're going to get your name back now, Shaza. 00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:43.119 And that's true. 00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:46.640 I said, Yep, and I'm never ever giving it up for anyone again. 00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:53.599 And as you may know, I got married a couple of years ago now to Pierre, and I said that I'm keeping my name. 00:29:53.680 --> 00:29:58.799 I'm not, I'm not taking your name, which I'm he was completely fine with, which was wonderful. 00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:08.720 So being fully expressed, and if you're uh if you feel like you've nailed a few things, that's where you start to think about well, who else can I help nail that? 00:30:09.039 --> 00:30:11.200 What I've learned, who can I teach that to? 00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:30.000 And you can do that through a whole host of different ways through podcasts, you can write a book, you can start speaking on stages or webinars and things like that, or just in your local community, sharing what you know with your local community, even in schools, uh going and reading, anything that you think might give back to the community. 00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:42.559 There's something quite magical about helping people understand something that may have taken you a long time to learn and now you've learned it, and then giving it back, but also understanding how you can package that up in a way where it lands for people. 00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:44.640 And that's a skill in itself as well. 00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:46.400 So there's a whole bunch of things you can do. 00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:51.759 So my belief is it's a very long-winded way of saying this, I'm gonna keep doing this till I die. 00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:55.279 I believe that I'll keep growing and learning and giving back and all the things. 00:30:55.359 --> 00:31:02.640 And whatever happens on this journey as I step into it, I'll discover new things and understand new stuff that I can start putting myself in. 00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:07.200 Like 12 months ago, the biggest thing for me was to start this darn podcast. 00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:08.880 What am I, what have I got to say? 00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:12.000 Now I feel like I can't stop myself from talking. 00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:16.319 So it's only the fact that I started this where I got that feeling from. 00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:24.160 So think about if you've already nailed a lot of stuff, you've grown a great bookkeeping business or you've grown a great business and you're like, okay,

well, what's next? 00:31:24.480 --> 00:31:26.720 Start taking the steps to do that. 00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:29.839 There's a awesome guy called Jason Silver. 00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.720 He used to do a YouTube channel, he had a YouTube channel and it was called Shots of Ore. 00:31:35.359 --> 00:31:37.759 Also with the National Geographic as well, I think. 00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:40.880 Anyway, his name's Jason Silver, S-I-L-V-A. 00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:45.359 And he had a thing where he, he's a very, very interesting guy. 00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:47.599 It's so many cool things he's explored. 00:31:47.839 --> 00:31:53.359 He said, when when you travel, you come back as a different person. 00:31:53.519 --> 00:32:04.240 You cannot travel to another country and then come back the same person because your eyes have been exposed to different things, your different cultures, different food, different conversations, different ways of living. 00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:10.559 You see all these, especially if you go to cool countries like 10 years ago after my separation, I went to Morocco. 00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:22.640 And I just that blew my mind, like going to the Sooks and going up to the Atlas Mountains and doing all these different things, drinking the most sweet tea I've ever had in my life and all of these different things. 00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:23.920 I came back a different person. 00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:27.680 I'm like, these are people living around the world that are just that's their life. 00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:29.359 That's how they live. 00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:32.799 And then I come back here with that as a my filter. 00:32:33.279 --> 00:32:38.720 So if you need a shakeup, get overseas to one of those crazy countries that's so different to here. 00:32:38.960 --> 00:32:41.359 So open your eyes to different ways of living. 00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:44.799 So you come back here and you go, right, what can I do with that information? 00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:49.759 So getting passionate about what your next stage is, never feel like you've arrived. 00:32:49.920 --> 00:32:54.240 Never feel like, okay, now I can buy the caravan and travel around Australia. 00:32:54.400 --> 00:32:57.279 Yes, you can, but there's a whole bunch of things that you can do while you're doing that. 00:32:57.359 --> 00:33:02.240 There's so many cool things to explore and learn and experience to give back to the world. 00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:07.920 And I think that kind of thinking can make you feel really excited about the day today as well. 00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:15.920 So maybe the reward for mastering one level is not retirement from growth. 00:33:16.319 --> 00:33:20.079 Maybe it's being invited into a bigger arena. 00:33:20.559 --> 00:33:22.960 There's some books that are associated with this as well. 00:33:23.119 --> 00:33:25.119 Some of them I've read, some of them I haven't. 00:33:25.359 --> 00:33:38.079 Self-compassion by Kristen Neath, The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, The Good Life by Robert Waldenger and Mark Schultz, and Mindset by Dr. 00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:39.119 Carol Dweck. 00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:40.559 That is an awesome book. 00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:44.160 If you have not read that book, that's one of the ones I've read, and I think it's amazing. 00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:46.799 All those details will be in the show notes. 00:33:46.960 --> 00:33:49.440 Hopefully, this has been helpful for you today. 00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:51.759 And until next time, talk to you soon. 00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:52.720 Bye.