Volledige transcriptie van TrustFall Hat Trick: Stalking Cute Boys

exchanges private on there, but like most of the time people don't. Yeah. Especially at my age. Yes. So you kinda get to see like who people are going out with and who they're going to dinner with and who like what they're doing, who they're hanging out with. Like are they making them pay? Exactly. Yeah. I think I just ended things with this guy and I stumbled upon it not purposely and then purposely went through it. And I was just like, ⁓ my God, like who are these girls Venmoing him? There's a dinner emoji, like, ⁓ why are they Venmoing him? Like is he Venmoing them? Like all this stuff and just like, ⁓ my gosh, he's going out every night. Hmm. Not a good sign. No, but he is making him pay, which is, you know, kind of tells you why you broke up with him in the first place. Exactly. So, you know, things work out. It's a good thing I'm not there. Interesting. Yeah, I had a younger person telling me about that she accidentally came upon now this wasn't a stocking incident, this was more like a person who had been not very nice to her. And so she found out that this other person's significant other was making her pay for a lot of stuff and so that made my friend happy that that this girl was, you know, kind of not having the greatest life, it seems. That would make me happy too. Yeah. Yeah. I do find Venmo very interesting. Like it's definitely a weird one. It is weird. And also people put such weird stuff. Like you could go out with someone for dinner and then on the Venmo line they put herpes meds. But then you know they're really close. Well, they're really good friends. ⁓ that's a great point. Because obviously I I would hope They're not getting herpes meds, but then I'm like, okay, why are you really close to this person? You really got into the psychology right there. ⁓ yeah. I think about everything. A million things are going on in my mind when I'm stalking someone. Okay. Is this a social thing? Like your girls, you're all in your room and you're on your beds and you're all stalking at the same time? Or are you doing this alone, kind of like, I need to really focus? Or is it like, 'Cause we never did stalking by ourselves. Like I'm gonna give the example of a guy. I was taking a college Italian class and there was a really cute guy in there and he was adorable. And so I told all my friends his name and then we would go out to bars and try to figure out where's he hanging out, you know? And so it was a very social thing. Like it was not alone. So Are you doing this by yourself or are you doing this with girls and they're telling you, well, check is modify or check is Venmo? Like what's Honestly both. Okay. I think for me, I'm really good at it. So like a lot of my friends know that I'm good at finding information about people. So they'll come to me. Cause even like stalking doesn't have to be a bad thing. Like obviously, like whatever. But like s one of my friends came up to me and was like So you need to do some research on this guy that are mutual friends dating because I looked him up on Safari and found that he has a criminal record. And I'm like, what? So then I did my research. I found a bunch of articles online saying that he got imprisoned in Mexico and this and that. And I was like, yeah, girl, I don't think he's the best one for you. I definitely I do stalk alone sometimes. And that's kind of like when I'm kind of getting like into it, I guess, a little bit maybe just checking things out, maybe stalking in Instagram, just like seeing who someone is. ⁓ but I I do like stalking with friends because then it's even funnier 'cause we just find like the funniest things that you could imagine. Why is he listening to this song on repeat? And we're like, ugh you know, we're like, ⁓ my God, look at this picture that his mom posted and it's super embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. Like if he's listening to ABBA Over and over? Maybe not. Who knows? I mean But you know, dancing queen six times in a row. That might be a it's a little questionable. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, do you have any advice? I have a few single friends, very few, but I think they're still stuck in the old stalking ways. So what advice could you give to someone my age? Not me, again, I would not be stalking. A male, I there might be a few females that I might stuff on but I'm not very good at anyway. Do you have any advice for someone my age for the new way of stalking someone? ⁓ I could definitely give some advice, but it's also a little hard because the person they're stalking has to also be on social media. Mm-hmm. And so it has to be like kind of a mutual thing. But get on Instagram, get on Facebook, like I know you guys love your Facebook. I usually go to Facebook to find like people's parents. Right. But maybe you could find them on Facebook. Right. or maybe could they stalk the kids? Like, maybe maybe we could do the reversal. So I would go on Instagram and stalk the kids to find the parent, although the kids maybe aren't putting their parents on. Maybe not, but It sounds a little creepy. Yeah, it sure does. I agree. I mean I guess stalking as a whole is a little creepy, but I mean you could try it. That might be sometimes there's like on like TikTok, sometimes you can turn it off, but there's like, ⁓ you can see who viewed your profile. So it might get a little weird if like I'm looking at my who views my profile and I just see a grown man. Whether or not they're looking for like my mom or something. Yeah. I'm I would be a little sussed out. Okay. But I mean, you could definitely try. Mm. It does sound really weird. As I'm saying it out loud, like in my head, a lot of times things sound fine. I get where you're going. I say that out loud. But in reality, I have very few friends who would do this. But you never know. I mean you never know. You don't. All right. Well Thank you so much for coming here and giving me some tips in case I might need it. I'm even thinking like some professional I don't know, that would be

weird too, like stalking your doctor before you go or something. That would be weird. I mean y I like to say I don't like to say stalking, I like to say doing research. Doing research. That sounds so much better. I would do a lot of research on a doctor. Okay. Before I see them online, maybe find their Instagram. 'Cause you also don't know what people are posting. Like Yeah. I see a lot on like TikTok funny things and it's like, ⁓ this person got fired after making a video at their job and then you go onto their page And it's like they didn't get fired for making the video at work. They got fired because they're twerking and posting them like at work. Yeah. It's like they're doing weird stuff. Like it's so funny though. It's like you never know. Your doctor could be someone different on the side. That's true. That is true. I think I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna just make a huge list of my dentist, my doctor, my gardener, everyone. ⁓ yeah. And then stalk them. Do research. Okay. Well, thank you, Sophia, for being here. I really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for having me. Okay, cu we come back for some other tips on other aspects of life. ⁓ of course. Okay. I'm always here. All right. Thank you. Thanks. And Carla. How are you? Good. How are you? I'm doing well. How about you? I'm good. I'm good. I had this idea a couple weeks ago about maybe talking about how we stalked boys ⁓ in the eighties. Seventies and eighties. It probably started in the seventies. I think so. Probably maybe third or fourth grade. I was hoping it was fifth or sixth, but okay. I yeah, I think it was around fifth grade, maybe. I fifth grade is when we made that first initial call that I remember. And we just need to say like fourth, fifth we were just me and you mostly, right? Like we were a team. And I didn't really hang out with a lot of other people, especially at school. I mean, we were friends with everyone, but you and I were like What are those the Bobsy twins? Or I don't know. I think my mom used to call us out or something, right? Like yes. And I know the story that you're gonna tell. And through elementary, we were almost always in the same class. Yes. And fifth grade had the cutest boy in the whole school, really. Yes. I I agree. Okay. And in order to fish for a boy, you would Have someone else, which was me in this case, call their house, which had risks because what if the parents or a sibling answered? Yes. And if you were lucky, that person would answer the phone and you'd say, I know someone that likes you. And there was no caller ID, I don't think. So I don't know if I announced myself or just whispered in the phone, I know someone that likes you. Okay. And their initial is CM and then hang up. It was really, really high tech and very smart. Yes. I mean, it was genius because one, they'd have to recognize your voice and they heard your voice every day. Right. Especially mine. Especially yours. And Two, you pretty much had one friend just like I did. And so I'm sure it took him quite a while to figure that puzzle out. That was quite the you know quite the puzzle. Did we notice any different behavior the next day? I think we shared a table or something with him in fourth and fifth grade. No. He never showed interest in. I mean in high school we really became good friends, but in fifth grade, no. He was in love with this other girl in fifth grade and they were going around. I think he probably gave her some type of ring. Or a bracelet. Maybe it was a ID bracelet. Ooh. And we called it going around. We did call it going around. So the phone call, yes. The anonymous phone call. Yes. And what would have happened if the mom answered the phone? I think you either would have hung up or we would have asked for the person. Okay. But you never knew how much the parent was gonna probe or the siblings. That's true. So apparently you got lucky with him answering the phone and you told him and nothing came of it. That was it. That was it. But it was very brave of you to do that because Well, that's what friends do. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And didn't we stalk this same person recently? Yes, we did, but we won't talk about that. My young friend was here to to tell me how to truly stalk someone in twenty twenty six. So we didn't even scratch the surface when we were stalking him. Okay. No. No. Yeah. Next time we're having a few cocktails, I can show you how to go deep. You know, we'll do a deeper dive. Yeah, we'll do a deeper dive. Okay. So then we get to high school and we're a little more mobile. I would say. Yeah. Some of us had cars or good friends with cars. Yeah. Borrow a car. I was always borrowing my mom's red station wagon. Yes. And we would go for a cruise downtown to see who you would see and see who they were with. Agree. And If a girl was sitting right next to someone in their car, because that was just Yes. So you didn't have a phone to call anybody, but when you cruised, you frequently parked different places and you can get information from those stops. Did you see so and so? He's with so and so. Yeah. And I guess that was kind of a stalking someone. Yeah. Or you would purposely drive downtown to see if you saw the these people or their car. The cars were very identifying for sure in a small town. So we also need to say we grew up in a town of about fourteen or fifteen thousand people and every kid from the whole county went to the same high school. So Right and and usually everyone was doing the same things. So Friday night you went to a game. And Saturday, if you could get into a car, if your friend had a car or somebody picked you up, you could cruise. And there was a definite route of cruising. Yes. And so I want to say the rules for stocking someone in a car, if you're going to drive by their house, you need an exit. If they live on a dead end, you should not you should not cruise by their house because if they see you, then they have a second chance to get a real look at you and go, ⁓ yeah, that is

Carla driving by my house for the tenth time because she had to turn around at the end of the block. With four other girls in the car screaming and laughing. Yes. With at least four was a small number, especially for my mom's station wagon. We could pack six or more girls in there. Yeah. No seat belts required either. No. And then when they got the suburban, ⁓ my God. Like we just we could pack six girls in the front seat, which we did. Yeah. Okay. So there was the phone, there was cruising, there was driving by their house, and then there was also getting to know their sister, brother, cousin, best friend, neighbor, neighbor. There was yeah, there was a lot of that, like, ⁓ I don't really like this girl, but her brother is freaking hot. So I think I'm gonna be friends with her. Or you could find a spy. That maybe had a class with this person or lived near this person or did a sport with this person, which you could say, can you find out if he's talking to so and so or if he likes me or what does he say when you ask about me? So you could find someone to fish for you. That's true. So you had a very good story about. A teacher. Yes, we also stalked teachers. This is a good story. Well, we stalked one teacher in particular. Okay. And my friend and I had the class together and we sat right next to each other and we could be bit of stoners at that age. So we knew the signs of someone being stoned. Yeah. And we just knew This teacher was coming to class under the influence because it was right after lunch. He would always take our snacks off our desks and eat them. Really? Yes. And one time he was at the podium, you know, giving a lecture or whatever. And then all of a sudden he mid-sent and said, question? Did someone have a question? So We would watch and observe him all the time and just burst out laughing because we just knew he had done something at lunch. ⁓ was he young or was he? He was pretty young and he was a good looking guy. He had personality and ⁓ so I think at the end of the school year he told us he was leaving and we were so sad that I had a party at my house one night. Several of us took turns calling him and my gosh. And was his number like listed in the phone book? It must have been. I don't know how we got his phone number. Yeah, it had to be. Everyone's phone, everyone's phone number was listed. Yes. Yes. So we did on a Friday night probably call him five or six times. Did you talk to him or you just hung up? He answered and we would say like, this is Susan or some fake name. Do you remember me? my gosh. Now, do your do you think your friend, because it was not me, do you think your other friend would remember this whole thing and like have the same basic story? Yes. I think so. ⁓ my gosh. And and so how did you keep a straight face when you went to class? Like well, I think when we We called him the school year was over. ⁓ okay. Because he announced at the like the last day. And we were so sad that he was gonna be leaving that we that's why we prank called him. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah. We wanted him to remember us. Even though he I don't know if he knew which students it was prank calling him, but it was definitely us. And I'm just gonna throw this in there. Were you guys sometimes also high during that class or no? I don't think so because we had closed campus, most of the time you would do it after school. But this friend and I did get together after school quite often. Right. So find places to do that. Yeah, yeah. I just was wondering like if you were all stoned in that class together, like we knew the traits for sure. Of course, yeah, of course. ⁓ my gosh. Well that is a great story. And I was telling you in preparation for this conversation, I went through some of our our letters because, you know, no cell phones. No. And in order to stay in communication during those long fifty minute Classes. We just wrote letters constantly. You probably wrote me five or six letters, and I probably wrote you five or six letters a day. A day. Because each period you would not pay attention. No. And you would write letters. You weren't only writing a letter to each other. You probably were writing five or six letters during that class to several other people as well. Yes. And then during your passing period you would hand the letters off or you would give it to a friend to say, don't read this, but please give it to Carla. Right. And that's where we established our code names. Yes. For letters. So the actually the letters I found, they have our real names on them, which is kind of weird. But it maybe it was our senior year. Right. That we developed our code names of do you want to What's your code name? My code name is Blair. And my code name is Natasha. And they will live with us forever. Yes, they will. And so if anyone found our notes, at least our senior year, they would not know who Blair and Natasha were. And so I mean, it probably wasn't that hard to figure out. But I also found a bunch of notes that obviously were written during class. Because it would start with one person's handwriting and then the next and go back and forth. And so it was me. Right. You know, like you would just be passing this note back and forth during class. So I'll show you those when you come over because it's like, you know, I wrote a little a small paragraph. In one of them it says, Are you going out with so and so? And I just wrote why? And then it went back to that person. Because he's my cousin and blah blah blah. And I was like, ⁓ well, I'm not sure. Like it was very kind of evasive at first and then it got you know, then it got deeper, but with some explanation. Yeah, like who are you and why are you asking me that? Right. We also did a lot of gossiping. ⁓ God, yeah. The gossip was rampant. It was all verbal. It was all verbal. So there was no receipts back then. No. There's some shit talking in these letters though, I will tell you. Like it's not just you and me, but I have letters from kind of

our s our friend group back then. And there's a lot of shit talking. Like ⁓ and a lot of the same guys, like one minute this person's in love with Johnny and the next minute The other friend is in love with your There was a lot of sharing back then. They just Yeah. It was a small school. You have to. Small towns, small schools. Yeah, you had to share. or else you had to date someone that was out of high school already. We won't talk about that and no, no, no. That never happened. No, no. Let's not because it's illegal now. Right. All of the shit we were doing back then, it's illegal now. And we can't even talk about it. Maybe they'll go back and arrest these people. I don't know. They could. They could. I mean, looking at it now, it's so creepy, but it is very creepy. But it's a small town. There's not a whole lot of people to pick. From yeah. And we all went to the same parties. There was no age limit to our parties. Exactly. Exactly. So yeah. The notes brought back some good memories, but it also just I mean, I've really up until probably I read those letters, I was like, God, I was so mature. I was so immature and so stupid. Yeah. There we weren't very bright at that age. ⁓ my God. ⁓ my God. It's really amazing how I fooled myself into into thinking, ⁓ I've always been this well I there's nothing I I can't finish that sentence. I don't know what that sentence. I'm sure writing letters during every class for four years really enhanced our intelligence this way. Yeah, I'm sure it did. I'm sure it did because we all should have paid attention when the your and your came around because I found a lot of misspellings on everyone's part. So yeah, I ⁓ I think about like those poor I don't know, what was the worst class? History. ⁓ my God. I mean, just spending all that time writing letters like how in the world did I get to college? I have no idea. Right. No idea. But Anyway, ⁓ well thanks for talking to me about this and admitting that you were a stalker in high school. Always. Still a kind of ⁓ No. And guess what? I can show you some new stalking skills next time we're together. Can't wait to use them. Okay. Thanks. Love you, Carla. Bye. I'm good. How are you? Great. So I was thinking about how we used to stalk our love interests in college. Yes, the true love interests. They all worked out so well. Uh-huh. Yeah. One of us in our Chico group married the person that we met in college. No one else, right? Right. Well, the five from the dorms. One of us married and then also, you know, I'll just throw her name out. Rhonda did as well. ⁓ that's right. Yeah. So two out of six. And for me it was a little different than high school because I lived in such a small town that everyone knew everyone. And so basically the gossip chain was really quick. And so anyway, I think college was different too. It was just so many people around the same age in the same small area. Like I don't know. Right. ⁓ yeah. Chico was, I loved it because, and I still tell people this when we went there, literally you only saw college students within the three mile radius of Chico State. Yeah. But there were so many you did not know if you would actually run into the guy that you thought was really cute. So you didn't know, but the option was always there. Like you could just go to John and Bond's yogurt and think, huh? I might run into the guy I like. Who the hell knows? That is true. Although I don't remember really going to the yogurt shop to find my guy. So let's actually let's start at the dorms because we have a friend who ⁓ I know who you're gonna talk about. Yes, go ahead. We have a friend who was the best stalker because After a few drinks, she had zero fear with the telephone. Like she was fearless with the phone. God, it was so much fun. It was great. Yeah. Because she was hilarious. Yes. And she would get on the phone and she would do her laugh her great laugh too while talking. Yeah. She has a great laugh. So we probably need to set the scene for 1985, 86 school year, Chico State, 18 19 year old girls living there were five of us in two bedrooms, two dorm rooms. And at the very end of the hall. At the very end of the hall. So we had just a gr you opened your door to your room and you had just a view of everything that was going on. Yeah. And we had one phone for each room, and your phone number was tied to your room number. It was great. It was. So I was seven twenty three and you were seven twenty two. Yep. And if we wanted to call you and not walk the twelve steps next door, we would just pick up the phone and dial seven two two, right? Correct. Okay. Which meant all you had to do is say, Hey, what dorm you live in and which room number? And you had the guy's phone number. Yes. And Susan was a master. Yes. At garnering that information. She was. And also let's just put in there. Do you remember I think it was push button phones. Is that true? Yes, it wasn't dial. It was the the push button. I actually think I remembered the phone. It was used so frequently. Yeah. I think I remembered the look of the phone. Mm-hmm. Okay. So would you agree that was the main way of stalking someone was first? Your first line to get to that person was the phone if you had their number. Well, it was the most direct way. Okay. And if you drank your courage, and I'm using her name, so you might want to block it out, we'll have to ask her, but Susan would drink her courage. Yes. And then next thing you know, what she would do, and God I loved this 'cause it makes me laugh, is if we were in room seven twenty three, she'd be missing. Yeah. And she'd be in seven twenty two making phone calls. Or vice versa. If we were in seven twenty two, she'd be in seven twenty-three making phone calls. Yes. And you would look around and go, Where's Susan? And ⁓ she's on the phone. And one of us would have to go next door and, you know, hang up that phone. Literally hang up the phone, take it out of her hand. I mean, listen, that's what you did. I

would go in and listen to her and crack up. And she would be laughing too. And I just remember her laugh and we would just be laughing. Yeah. Yeah. So Susan was she would I would say, let's call her the the best phone stalker in the group. I think she wins for phone stalking. She does, but and and I don't care what w term we use, but she wasn't even stalking. She was and and I kind of think we were like this. She was just straight up calling and telling. Well, that's true. Right. There was nothing secretive about her. No. But the great thing about back then is also our phones did not have caller ID. You had no idea who was calling you. Like you Y you could have, but she'd go, Hi, this is Susan. And I'm in seven twenty-three. And I was wondering, do you want to come over? And she'd be crying up. That's probably true. Okay. So there was that. There was calling and having your friend call, having you know, calling and hanging up. I mean The phone really was kind of the centerpiece of each room because it was your connection out to other people sometimes. So I think the telephone was the best way of stalking. Yeah. Again, it was I don't know if I can go there, but it was the direct line. Direct way, yeah. The direct way. Yes. But I mean, when I think of our room, I think of the fact that we could stare down the hall. Yeah. We could walk down two flights and be on the all guys floor. And we could look out our windows. We had the courtyard view. That's true. Like we were so situated for just looking, waiting. You could wait to see if someone was walking in the building. I mean, it was we were situated well. And then when I texted all the girls and said, Can you guys help me with like how did we stalk people? And one of our friends texted back and said, Well something about ninja, the word ninja came up. I saw that text. Like, listen, I remember that word and we would say we ninjad. It was a verb, right? Or a verb. It was a verb. ⁓ God. See go back to college and learn adjective versus verb. Yes, we ninja'd. But I have to say, I don't know why we called it ninja, because we were so obvious. Yeah. Well You think you're so cool, but we would probably drive by, walk up and try to say hi. You know what I mean? I do. Yeah. I do. And so I didn't have a car. Susan didn't have a car, but you had a car. I had a car. So you were really the only one in our group that had a car. And so I guess we were ninjing in your little VW rabbit. Probably. Yeah. You know, and I also had a fake ID. And I ninja it at bars too. Yeah. So ninjaying basically was being so sly and An incognito that no one knew you were actually stalking whichever guy you liked. Is that yeah? I mean, that's the glamorous definition. When Ninja really was like, ⁓ my God, I really want to see him. Aren't bored, or you want to see what he's doing? Let's see if he likes me, whatever. And then you hop in the car and you drive by where you think they are. And if they're there, you might even, I don't know,

scream out the window. Like your glamour version is not quite how I remember it. I just don't think we were sleuthy, if you will. Okay. And then I remember the first year in the dorms, there was a guy that I thought was cute. And well, Susan liked a whole bunch of guys in the dorms and one of them worked, I think, at the cafeteria. And so ⁓ gosh, you're right. Yes. So I remember planning meals around when I thought the guy that I thought was cute, like when they would be in the cafeteria. So if on Monday I went down there and as I was walking out, he was walking in, then I had to adjust my time of when I would go eat to, you know, a little bit later. So that I of course. Yes. I mean, this is what I think was exactly what we always did. Figure out their schedule and try to be where they are. And and most importantly, be obvious about it. Don't be not obvious because you want to talk to them or you want to be seen. So that's how I would define ninja, which isn't really ninja. It's I I I guess your word is better. It w is it stalking? It's not s it there's nothing hidden about it. Well, I wanted to stay a little hidden, I think, but I don't think I did a good job. I just thought I was not being so obvious, but yeah. Yeah, I have to tell you, this is a side note, but I only remember the person who worked in the cafeteria that Susan liked. So now I'm curious and we won't make you say it here, but we'll be talking later about you refreshing my memory on your little crush. Okay. I think after a couple of weeks he had a girlfriend, so I moved on. But I do remember at the very beginning when I mean I was just bombarded with new people. And yeah, he was cute and but I think he got a girlfriend pretty quickly. So that was over. But yeah, I do remember the cafeteria staying really long, waiting for that person to come in, sitting down at the dining hall for hours waiting for these people. I mean, of course. It was at a time when what else did you have to do? So if you needed to do a five hour dinner, you had time. And of course, I'm sure we all supported you and whoever. Like, ⁓ we'll stay with you. Of course. Why wouldn't we? Five hours at dinner eating that junk, that terrible food. Let's do it. And I will say that you guys are great wingmen, wing women, because I was gone for the week. I had a crush on a guy in my Italian class. I was taking Italian and there was the cutest boy in there. And I told everyone that I had this crush on him. He had kind of a distinctive name, like not a super common name. And described what he looked like, all that. And I left for the weekend. I came home for something. And I think like on Sunday before I left, I got a phone call at my parents' house, no cell phones. And my friends, I don't know if you were there, but I want to say it was Susan and someone else. They called me and said, I think we met the guy that you like. And we told him all about you and that you like him. I'm like, what? Yeah, we saw him at a bar and we found out his name and then we were like, ⁓ do you know our friend Carla? She really likes you. You should ask her out. Like, my God. So I had, you know, you guys stalking for me, even when Right. And again, I I stalking or just coming right out and saying it. 'Cause I I challenge. I know. No, and I this has always been a supportive group of friends and I would agree, like, hey guys, tonight I want to see so and so. I I think they're here. Let's go. Okay. Whatever. Like let's do it. Yeah, for sure. I hung out at a lot of bars I didn't really like because some guy hung out there, whatever. Like worse. Yeah. I mean Or you know, you know they're in a fraternity and so suddenly you're going to try to go to their fraternity parties. S ⁓ my God, I forgot about those. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Definitely. I mean, maybe I think somebody that I know even became a little sister in a fraternity just to get close to the guy she was attracted to. And so do you think guys were stalking us the same way that no just a flat no. I mean a flat no because you know better than me because you're from brothers. I didn't have brothers. I only had a sister. And so at the time I was in college, I would have said, sure. Why wouldn't they? We all feel the same way. But as you know, I there's five boys in this household. And hell no. Yeah. They're just much more worried about the food that they're gonna get to eat. And the football, for example, I think the Little leg World Series is on and somebody was watching it this weekend, like any sporting event, but no, they weren't. They're just not dreaming of romance and getting married like the girls are. Am I wrong? No, you're not. No, I think you're spot on. And I that's been my experience with most guys for sure. But I will say that once you break up with them, they become stalkers. And I don't mean like Calling and hanging up. I mean like full on fucking soccer. ⁓ they fall in love. So and remember the quick story of how you and I, that was the strategy. Like, sure, just chase them, finally get ⁓ and then just break up with them. Then they love you. Yeah. I mean, that was just sort of the strategy. So absolutely, yes. Yeah. I get that. They don't like being broken up with. No. For sure. And I probably shouldn't tell the story, but I had a boyfriend. It was in my Late teens, early twenties for a couple of years and the I mean, I think I remember I'm just sorry, because this is when we were driving home together and we compared boyfriends and they were exactly the same. Yeah. Like he really didn't give a shit about me. He wasn't he didn't call me that much. I was writing him letters like weekly. You know, I was in Chico. He was in the Bay Area. I'm writing him letters just So sad that I can't see him. And this is the first couple weeks. And nothing, like just very little. I'm not even sure I knew that we were together anymore. And so it did take years, like on and off. And then I break up with him for good. And all of a sudden, he

can't live without me. And he's showing up at my parents' house. And he's he showed up at a party once and Asked if we could talk outside and had a knife with him. And I'm like Dude, what are you gonna do? You're gonna stab me? Like, what is this? And I know I shouldn't laugh about it because it's a serious thing, but it was fucking ridiculous. Like you did not care about me for this whole time and now because I dumped your ass, you want back in? Like, ⁓ And you think a Yeah, how's a knife getting you there? I love that knife. I'm gonna get back together with you. Or if you stab me for sure, that will we'll get back together for sure. Like that is so scary though. And I know it was way more innocent times, seriously, right? Yeah. And so but that still it was sort of a foreshadowing of things to come in in a weird way. But I do know the person you're talking about, and I do know why you didn't take it that seriously. I get it. Yeah. But yeah. Dang, man. What was he th stupid? I mean, just a dumb idea. Well, he was totally coked out too. Like, let me just put that. It was the eighties. It was the eighties and he was really coked out. And this is just a glimpse of the remember how I started with I know who you're talking about, because we had a boyfriend of who was very similar. Just a glimpse of Carlin Amy's taste in the eighties. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So to be fair, he was you know, a little amped. He was amped. And that's I mean, it's just scary, but ridiculous. He I know. ⁓ I did laugh in his face, actually, I'm not gonna lie, like it was ridiculous. And had anyone walked out and seen that, they probably would have called the police, but For sure. but he really needed help and I could not be the one to help him. So I think eventually he got help and anyway, different story. But yeah. To me it was interesting. I mean, all my boyfriends were like that. Like, yeah, Carla's okay. Like, nah, definitely second, third, fourth priority. And then I broke up with them. Nope. They really No, I went right to first. Yeah. I mean, if you're chasing and ninjaying and doing what we did, like, hey, what bar are they going to? We'll go to the bar, we'll drink a couple of drinks, and then we'll just go up and tell ⁓ we like ⁓ What the heck? That's unattractive. I mean, it's it's unfortunate that that's unattractive. What's that what's attractive is being with somebody else and not giving a shit about them. That's very attractive when you're in college, at least in the 80s. Yeah. Well, and I don't know if it was me or if it was someone else where like, okay, let's say that I ended up, you know, dating that person, whoever it was that I was I'll call stalking, you'll call. Ninjing, whatever. Let's say I was with that person and we were on a date, we were hanging out at their house, whatever. It's like, I wonder what my girls are doing. Like, I was so sad to not be with you guys when I was with a guy, the guy that I actually got. I didn't want to be with them anymore. I a hundred percent. Like it's I mean, so I just picked on guys. I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna re It's not just guys, it was girls. It's all about the chase. A hundred percent. And I think the reason we both had boyfriends was because they didn't live there. Yeah. That's right. Right. Like that would have never worked. Yeah. Because we were free to hang out with our friends on the weekends and and it was it worked. Yeah. Just because yeah, actually in a relationship, distance really does work wonders. But it's a girl guy thing. It's not just guys. And so like the ninja, the stocking. The showing up where they are, like that truly was all for us. That's the the fun of the chase. But it was in no way serious about how to get a guy how to start a relationship. Yeah. Because we didn't even want one. Yeah. That's probably true. Like you like me. All right. Well, it's over now. I'll need to find a new guy for Susan to call at midnight. I need to find a really good reason to break up with you. Like I broke up with a guy 'cause he coughed too much. He was a cougher and I couldn't take it. It's a Seinfeld episode. I know. I know. Remember when I dated a gorgeous guy, but we had nothing in common and I was like, God help me. I know. I'm going back in. I want to find something. Anything. He was cute but dim. He had a very dim light in there. Exactly. You're saying it. I didn't want to say it, but like, dang. But he was cute. ⁓ my god, adorable. He was worth the stock. He was worth stocking for until you got him and then and then you gotta go on to better. Yeah. It worked. Yeah. It worked. All right. Perfect way to end that. Thank you. Sure. All right, Carla. That was fun. Thank you for listening to Gen X Trustfall. For more information about any episode, or if you have a suggestion for a potential guest, check out our website at GenXTrustfall.com. Gen X Trustfall is produced by me and the recording master, Ryan Loomis, at Double Banger Studio. Music by Ryan and Sam. Website and advisory by Amy Clifford.