Volledige transcriptie van Ten Lessons I learnt from Quitting alcohol!

I stopped drinking, it became very apparent. 00:03:14.820 --> 00:03:17.860 And I went to the dentist, got a little fixed up. 00:03:17.939 --> 00:03:20.420 It was it was fixable, which was good. 00:03:20.580 --> 00:03:24.180 But I didn't realize any of these because I just drank through pain. 00:03:24.420 --> 00:03:29.060 So any signal my body was giving me was being numbed out. 00:03:29.620 --> 00:03:37.060 So that was been quite an eye-opener, and I've been very grateful to be able to work on my health since then. 00:03:37.300 --> 00:03:44.580 Number three, the first few weeks when you give up alcohol aren't necessarily a preview of your new life. 00:03:44.820 --> 00:03:48.980 So you might feel uncomfortable, emotional, bored, or unsure. 00:03:49.460 --> 00:03:52.580 You might have more anxiety initially. 00:03:52.820 --> 00:03:55.300 That doesn't mean sobriety isn't working. 00:03:55.460 --> 00:03:59.060 Your brain and your routines are just adjusting. 00:03:59.540 --> 00:04:19.060 Also, I did um I did a few things that I didn't want to carry on doing, but things like instead of watching TV at night in those first few weeks, because that's when I would have grabbed a wine, I went for a walk or I went to do a yoga class. 00:04:19.300 --> 00:04:23.219 I didn't really want to keep doing that at night and I didn't have to. 00:04:23.459 --> 00:04:26.899 So it was just initially in those first few weeks. 00:04:26.980 --> 00:04:29.699 Um, or I might have gone to see a movie with a friend. 00:04:29.860 --> 00:04:33.620 Whatever it took, I wanted to give myself the best chance. 00:04:33.779 --> 00:04:40.579 Um, the other things in the first few weeks, I the first few days my anxiety got so much worse. 00:04:40.740 --> 00:04:47.460 So I did have a few panic attacks, felt quite miserable, um, but that lifted pretty quickly. 00:04:47.780 --> 00:05:03.780 And yeah, other than that, the first few weeks were really just day to day working out, you know, what what I could do for that day to keep my mind busy, to keep on track, basically. 00:05:04.019 --> 00:05:06.900 Um, and I generally I felt pretty good. 00:05:06.980 --> 00:05:14.579 But if you're someone that feels not so good in the first few weeks, just remember it's not how your life is going to continue. 00:05:15.300 --> 00:05:19.540 Number four, you will have to learn what you're actually feeling. 00:05:19.860 --> 00:05:29.300 So this is a tricky one for us big drinkers because alcohol has helped us avoid, suppress, and numb emotions. 00:05:29.540 --> 00:05:33.620 And once you remove it, feelings can become much more noticeable. 00:05:34.019 --> 00:05:37.220 I found it really hard to sit with feelings at first. 00:05:37.460 --> 00:05:40.740 What I learned was that I just had to practice. 00:05:40.980 --> 00:05:52.420 So I literally started by setting a timer and focusing on my feelings for about five minutes, where I could feel them in my body, what I was saying to myself. 00:05:52.579 --> 00:05:56.579

And I just started to breathe through those five minutes. 00:05:56.819 --> 00:06:12.019 And it became a tool I used going forward that when big feelings came up, I visualized as I breathed into the area, usually in my chest, I'd visualize some light going into that area. 00:06:12.259 --> 00:06:15.220 And when I breathed out, I'd say release. 00:06:15.379 --> 00:06:19.540 And it was so effective in getting me through feelings. 00:06:19.620 --> 00:06:28.180 And then the other thing I did was write about the feelings, um, you know, work on the things that were coming up with those feelings. 00:06:28.420 --> 00:06:31.860 It is something we have to relearn, but it's very doable. 00:06:32.259 --> 00:06:44.340 And once you do, you also get back the good feelings because we're not only numbing bad feelings, we're numbing the good, the joy, all of the positive emotions. 00:06:44.579 --> 00:06:47.780 So actually getting to feel them fully again. 00:06:47.860 --> 00:06:54.100 And that that took probably quite a few months until I could feel excited again, feel really joyful. 00:06:54.259 --> 00:06:57.699 But once I did, I mean, that was incredible. 00:06:57.939 --> 00:07:00.900 Number five, you might grieve alcohol. 00:07:01.060 --> 00:07:09.780 Even when you know it's not serving you, you can still miss the ritual, the reward, the social aspect of and the fantasy of what alcohol represented. 00:07:10.019 --> 00:07:14.819 And for some people, you know, loneliness for me meant that alcohol was like a friend. 00:07:14.980 --> 00:07:17.220 So it's totally normal to grieve alcohol. 00:07:17.379 --> 00:07:20.980 Allow yourself the space and the time to do that. 00:07:21.139 --> 00:07:25.939 Um, that's perfectly normal and and it's just part of the journey. 00:07:26.180 --> 00:07:28.340 But I let myself do that. 00:07:28.900 --> 00:07:36.019 I certainly do not have any feelings for it anymore, and I don't miss it, but I did allow myself to feel what came up. 00:07:36.259 --> 00:07:41.780 Number six, you don't just remove alcohol, you have to replace what it was doing for you. 00:07:42.019 --> 00:07:50.740 So if if wine was a way of relaxing, celebrating, coping with loneliness or switching off, you need new ways of meeting those needs. 00:07:50.900 --> 00:07:55.139 They were the things I looked at in the first few weeks and months. 00:07:55.300 --> 00:08:08.019 I tried different things, I practiced for, you know, at the end of the day, coming home, I made sure that I did have that um mental off-switch that I was going from working to relaxing. 00:08:08.340 --> 00:08:22.340 I went for a walk, I um watered the garden, I had a mocktail or a bath, whatever it was, it became a new habit, and that was a way I switched off. 00:08:22.579 --> 00:08:34.980 Loneliness was a big one, so I really, when I got to that time in the evening when I drink and um usually drunk text, but it numbed my feelings around it. 00:08:35.139 --> 00:08:37.539 Instead of that, I reached out to friends. 00:08:37.699 --> 00:08:41.059 I'd make a phone call, you know, I'd have a good chat with someone. 00:08:41.299 --> 00:08:44.100 You don't want to be caught out at 6 p.m. 00:08:44.419 --> 00:08:47.460 going, oh my god, I have nothing in place. 00:08:47.860 --> 00:08:50.179 Uh, do I just sit and watch Netflix with nothing? 00:08:50.340 --> 00:08:51.699 That's going to be too hard. 00:08:51.939 --> 00:08:54.659 So a plan is always helpful. 00:08:55.059 --> 00:08:58.980 Number seven, your relationships with people may change. 00:08:59.299 --> 00:09:09.940 Some people will completely support you, others might feel uncomfortable with your change, and you may discover that relationships you had, some of them were built around drinking. 00:09:10.100 --> 00:09:17.620 Um but I think this was a big fear going into alcohol freedom for me, and I certainly hear it from other people. 00:09:17.700 --> 00:09:26.980 They're afraid of losing friendships, um, relationships because alcohol really, the bottom line is alcohol is a big part of it. 00:09:27.220 --> 00:09:34.180 The people who really matter in your life and where the connection is deeper than alcohol, they'll remain. 00:09:34.740 --> 00:09:40.340 You know, I've I've pretty much kept most of my friendships and family relationships. 00:09:40.580 --> 00:09:48.899 The ones where who I'm not friends with anymore or where things changed, it usually was that we connected with alcohol. 00:09:49.060 --> 00:09:52.100 And um, and that was there's nothing wrong with that. 00:09:52.259 --> 00:09:56.019 It just means that we're not aligning as friends anymore. 00:09:56.180 --> 00:10:03.620 So they've been quite natural friendships that have dissolved, but it was nothing to be scared of. 00:10:03.779 --> 00:10:07.139 Um in on reflection, it's it's been amazing. 00:10:07.299 --> 00:10:17.779 And with that, I've also made friends and connected with so many other people that are more aligned to my journey now. 00:10:17.940 --> 00:10:19.700 And that's been amazing. 00:10:19.860 --> 00:10:24.580 I didn't really think about new friendships that I'd I'd strike up. 00:10:24.659 --> 00:10:28.100 So that's been a a real um joy to experience. 00:10:29.060 --> 00:10:33.299 Number eight, you may discover that alcohol wasn't the whole problem. 00:10:33.539 --> 00:10:38.899 Well, I definitely discovered that, and you might hear me saying alcohol wasn't the problem. 00:10:39.220 --> 00:10:40.659 It certainly became a problem. 00:10:40.899 --> 00:10:43.139 Don't get me wrong, it became a problem. 00:10:43.700 --> 00:10:59.620 But the reason I drank from the very first drink I had was to numb the other problems, the deeper problems, the core beliefs about myself, the, you know, believing that I wasn't lovable, not worthy, those things. 00:10:59.860 --> 00:11:04.419 It was to stop my shaking with my anxiety disorder. 00:11:04.659 --> 00:11:10.980 You know, the problems were all the things, all the reasons that I was drinking to

numb. 00:11:11.299 --> 00:11:18.820 When you stop drinking, you will probably need to do some work around what the actual issues were. 00:11:19.139 --> 00:11:22.019 For me, it has been really amazing to work on them. 00:11:22.180 --> 00:11:33.379 You know, self-worth, boundaries, grief, relationships, identity, purpose, all of these things that I've been able to work on have absolutely changed my life for the better. 00:11:34.100 --> 00:11:38.180 Number nine, you don't suddenly become a completely different person. 00:11:38.419 --> 00:11:40.740 You start finding yourself again. 00:11:40.980 --> 00:11:46.580 What I have found since giving up alcohol is that I have reconnected with my authentic self. 00:11:46.899 --> 00:11:50.180 I am absolutely not a completely different person. 00:11:50.340 --> 00:11:51.779 I'm more of me. 00:11:52.259 --> 00:11:57.299 So I'm more of the parts that I really loved about myself. 00:11:58.180 --> 00:12:03.220 I'm more sure of who I want to be, I have clearer values. 00:12:03.539 --> 00:12:10.980 It's it's been a journey to feeling safe being myself, and that's that's been amazing. 00:12:11.139 --> 00:12:18.259 So I don't want anyone to fear that stopping alcohol means that you have to become someone totally different. 00:12:18.500 --> 00:12:25.060 What also happened when I stopped drinking is that the parts of myself that I didn't really like, they dropped away. 00:12:25.620 --> 00:12:30.659 The alcohol made me not a nice person some of the time. 00:12:30.820 --> 00:12:35.700 Um, it made me do and say things that I never would have done when I was sober. 00:12:36.180 --> 00:12:45.620 So dropping the alcohol has meant coming back to who I am, who I want to be, finding that self-love and self-acceptance. 00:12:45.779 --> 00:12:46.820 That has been amazing. 00:12:47.700 --> 00:12:51.700 Number 10, your life does not have to become boring. 00:12:52.500 --> 00:12:56.259 And perhaps this is the biggest misconception about stopping drinking. 00:12:56.500 --> 00:13:01.220 But you don't lose your fun, your personality, your spontaneity, or your social life. 00:13:01.460 --> 00:13:06.659 You actually discover that alcohol was taking more from your life than it was giving you. 00:13:06.899 --> 00:13:13.220 I absolutely thought alcohol made me more fun, made me more spontaneous, and gave me a better social life. 00:13:13.460 --> 00:13:18.820 But since stopping drinking, I've realized that was not true in any way. 00:13:18.980 --> 00:13:20.100 It just wasn't true. 00:13:20.259 --> 00:13:27.220 Um, it certainly made me more stupid, careless, uh, more prone to taking risks that weren't safe. 00:13:27.460 --> 00:13:31.700 Um, you know, that didn't make me fun and spontaneous. 00:13:32.019 --> 00:13:33.620 It made me someone I'm not. 00:13:33.940 --> 00:13:38.980 So with getting rid of alcohol, I have got my real personality back. 00:13:39.139 --> 00:13:44.659 Um, if you're nervous about socializing without alcohol, it's a practice

thing. 00:13:44.820 --> 00:13:49.779 Um, I have certainly fully embraced socializing without alcohol now. 00:13:49.860 --> 00:13:51.220 It has taken time. 00:13:52.019 --> 00:13:58.820 But I go home from social events, from lunches, dinners, catch-ups, and I feel fulfilled. 00:13:58.980 --> 00:14:01.379 Something that I never felt when I was drinking. 00:14:01.620 --> 00:14:10.340 If you are worried that you'll become boring or that not drinking is boring, I can tell you from this side, there is nothing boring about my life. 00:14:10.500 --> 00:14:16.740 I do more, I see more, I connect more, and I am more fulfilled. 00:14:16.820 --> 00:14:18.419 And you can be too. 00:14:18.740 --> 00:14:35.460 Now that's the 10 important things I've learned since quitting drinking, but I have a bonus one, and this is really, really important, and it's a big lesson to me, and that is that being ready is not a feeling, it's a decision. 00:14:36.419 --> 00:14:42.500 I would have never stopped drinking alcohol if I had waited until I was ready. 00:14:42.899 --> 00:14:50.100 It was something that one day, after a lot of time, you know, three and a half years for me, sort of stopping and starting. 00:14:50.340 --> 00:14:52.820 One day my brain said, This is it. 00:14:53.139 --> 00:15:00.820 And I dived into alcohol freedom, and it's been over four and a half years now, and that's all because I made a decision. 00:15:00.980 --> 00:15:06.259 So please do not wait to feel ready because in so many things in life, we're not going to feel ready. 00:15:06.500 --> 00:15:11.700 I can tell you with this podcast, I didn't feel ready to go out on my own, but I'm doing it. 00:15:11.860 --> 00:15:12.980 It's not perfect. 00:15:13.139 --> 00:15:17.060 Um, I'm doing it because I know I'll never be ready if I don't. 00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:27.220 And I just want to reach out to people who might learn something from me and my journey and my mistakes, and also to let people know they're not alone. 00:15:27.700 --> 00:15:29.220 And I'm not ready. 00:15:29.379 --> 00:15:33.139 I'm not ready, believe me, but I'm doing it, and you can too. 00:15:33.379 --> 00:15:36.019 So stop waiting to feel ready. 00:15:36.180 --> 00:15:40.180 If that's how you're feeling around alcohol, please just do it. 00:15:40.340 --> 00:15:42.740 Your brain, everything will catch up to you. 00:15:42.820 --> 00:15:45.060 Just start taking the steps, start doing it. 00:15:45.220 --> 00:15:49.860 And I promise that um you'll get to a point and go, I cannot believe I did it. 00:15:50.019 --> 00:15:56.419 I can't believe, you know, for me how long I've been alcohol free, but I'm just so glad I made that decision. 00:15:56.740 --> 00:16:00.419 Because if I hadn't, I I dread to think where I'd be now. 00:16:01.060 --> 00:16:06.500 So that's my episode on the 10 important things I've learned since quitting alcohol. 00:16:06.580 --> 00:16:14.100 I'd love to hear from you and hear what have been, you know, the things you've learned since quitting or the things you're afraid of before quitting. 00:16:14.259 --> 00:16:15.299 Please reach out. 00:16:15.460 --> 00:16:23.539 You can contact me through the show notes or at my website, meganweb.com.au, and please subscribe and review. 00:16:23.700 --> 00:16:27.379 Your support would mean so much in that, helping me get my podcast out. 00:16:27.620 --> 00:16:31.379 And on a final note, I am launching a brand new course. 00:16:31.539 --> 00:16:34.580 It's a 12-week program for women. 00:16:34.659 --> 00:16:37.299 It's called The Reclaimed Woman. 00:16:37.620 --> 00:16:48.100 We will work through all things alcohol, but also beyond that, healing our wounds, looking toward the future, planning a future where you have purpose and passion. 00:16:48.500 --> 00:16:55.779 So if you would like to find out more about that, please book a discovery call on my website. 00:16:55.940 --> 00:17:02.500 There is a link, it gives you a half-hour free call, and just book in and we can talk about the course if you're interested. 00:17:02.740 --> 00:17:04.259 I'm so excited about it. 00:17:04.419 --> 00:17:14.500 It's another thing where I am absolutely didn't feel ready and I am stepping out of my comfort zone big time, but I think it's going to help a lot of people. 00:17:14.659 --> 00:17:17.059 So please get in touch if you're interested. 00:17:17.299 --> 00:17:22.500 Thanks everyone for listening, and I will see you on the next episode of Conscious Unbottling. 00:17:22.980 --> 00:17:23.619 Bye.