Fullstendig transkripsjon av Honoring Jeff Wright | Scott & LaRae Wright on Grief, Family, Music & Living Fully After Loss

go through this together. Um, my brother, Jeff, uh, 36 00:02:15.710 --> 00:02:18.530 passed away suddenly. He was in a, an ATV accident 37 00:02:18.659 --> 00:02:24.020 and was seriously injured and passed away. And it was 38 00:02:24.520 --> 00:02:30.680 totally unexpected, of course. Very shocking. Um, I have five brothers, 39 00:02:30.719 --> 00:02:33.889 so there's six of us, and he was the first 40 00:02:33.969 --> 00:02:38.370 one to go. He's third in age, but he was 41 00:02:38.389 --> 00:02:39.729 the first one to go. And there's kind of been 42 00:02:39.750 --> 00:02:41.909 this debate with my brothers and I. I'm the youngest, 43 00:02:42.919 --> 00:02:47.400 and my brother Steve is the oldest, and he's 11 44 00:02:47.400 --> 00:02:49.479 years older than me. And I'm 65, be 65 this month. 45 00:02:52.449 --> 00:02:55.990 So there's this wide range of ages between us, and 46 00:02:57.389 --> 00:03:01.900 Jeff was 71 when he passed, and we spent the 47 00:03:01.939 --> 00:03:09.439 whole of last week preparing for the funeral. My brother 48 00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:13.439 Paul and I went to Idaho where he was, where 49 00:03:13.460 --> 00:03:17.520 he passed away, in Ovid, Idaho, in the Bear Lake Valley, 50 00:03:17.800 --> 00:03:22.240 and he and I spent time with Jeff, Jeff's family, 51 00:03:23.379 --> 00:03:25.770 All of his children were there. His wife was there, 52 00:03:25.849 --> 00:03:29.430 and we got to sit with them, cry with them, 53 00:03:29.990 --> 00:03:33.930 hug them. They hugged us. They comforted us. I mean, Sandra, 54 00:03:35.270 --> 00:03:42.240 she comforted me probably as much as anyone there. She's 55 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:48.639 been through a lot with this experience, and it was 56 00:03:48.680 --> 00:03:50.060 hard to lose my first brother. 57 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:50.939 Yeah. 58 00:03:51.020 --> 00:03:58.819 Yeah. It's such a tender parting when it's unexpected. 59 00:03:58.840 --> 00:04:03.629 Well, you experienced this with your sister in 2020. So 60 00:04:04.349 --> 00:04:06.310 you had it and then I've had it now. And 61 00:04:06.370 --> 00:04:10.080 it's just.... 62 00:04:09.930 --> 00:04:13.020 And we wanted to kind of share because I think it. 63 00:04:15.020 --> 00:04:18.180 One, it helps us come together in our humanity. 64 00:04:19.339 --> 00:04:20.000 And it also. 65 00:04:20.949 --> 00:04:23.490 helps us just take a pause in all that we're 66 00:04:23.529 --> 00:04:27.959 doing and remind ourselves some of the things that are 67 00:04:29.019 --> 00:04:35.220 really important. And Jeff had turned 71 in June of 68 00:04:35.259 --> 00:04:38.939 this year, so he was just barely 71. And his 69 00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:40.519 health had been a little bit up and down, but 70 00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:43.189 he was feeling great right now. We had just had 71 00:04:43.230 --> 00:04:46.009 a beautiful family reunion in July. 72 00:04:46.029 --> 00:04:48.790 He lost a bunch of weight. He'd had some real 73 00:04:48.970 --> 00:04:53.240 heart issues for like over a year. And that had 74 00:04:53.300 --> 00:04:56.560 cleared up. He was doing much, much better. He looked 75 00:04:56.819 --> 00:04:58.439 a lot, lot better. Right. 76 00:04:58.579 --> 00:05:03.040 And so two older brothers and then also an older 77 00:05:03.100 --> 00:05:03.779 cousin brother. 78 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:04.199 Right. 79 00:05:04.779 --> 00:05:08.019 And so then Jeff, then the cousin brother. 80 00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:11.579 I have two cousins and my uncle passed away. And 81 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:14.459 so they came to live with us when they were teenagers. 82 00:05:15.379 --> 00:05:15.709 So I. 83 00:05:16.819 --> 00:05:19.600 affectionately call them cousin brothers. 84 00:05:19.459 --> 00:05:21.319 Yeah i and i just call them brothers i was 85 00:05:21.620 --> 00:05:24.490 i was six years old when they came so i 86 00:05:24.519 --> 00:05:27.370 call them brothers they feel like brothers to me. 87 00:05:27.850 --> 00:05:31.370 And so it's um you know he was also one 88 00:05:31.410 --> 00:05:34.629 that was very good at at kind of coordinating and 89 00:05:34.689 --> 00:05:38.449 organizing and you all were planning on gathering at the 90 00:05:38.470 --> 00:05:39.709 end of september. 91 00:05:39.230 --> 00:05:42.290 Yep and he had At his place. 92 00:05:42.550 --> 00:05:44.649 And he had started to kind of give you prompts 93 00:05:44.970 --> 00:05:47.569 as to some meaningful things he wanted to talk about. 94 00:05:48.449 --> 00:05:53.120 So he, you know, everyone in our families carry roles. 95 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:58.519 And his was very pivotal in keeping you organized together 96 00:05:59.420 --> 00:06:02.399 and bringing you back together and having these brother reunions 97 00:06:02.439 --> 00:06:08.959 that you had. And so that's a tenderness that now 98 00:06:09.300 --> 00:06:11.959 is in question. Like, how will we come? When will 99 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:16.160 it feel right to come back again? And those are 100 00:06:16.240 --> 00:06:20.259 really big realities of when someone is taken so quickly 101 00:06:20.319 --> 00:06:24.060 from your life without any warning. Not that it's easier 102 00:06:24.079 --> 00:06:27.959 in any way, but it just gives you that pause 103 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:31.790 to say, I have to go through this grieving process. 104 00:06:31.870 --> 00:06:35.910 I have to figure how I feel out for a minute. 105 00:06:36.430 --> 00:06:36.589 Yeah. 106 00:06:37.800 --> 00:06:41.779 And, you know, we were all just together. They all came, obviously, 107 00:06:41.819 --> 00:06:45.089 for the funeral. So we were all there. And we 108 00:06:45.129 --> 00:06:51.149 got to hug and cry and process together with all 109 00:06:51.170 --> 00:06:57.180 of our families as well. And I don't know. I'm 110 00:06:57.839 --> 00:06:59.839 going to try not to get emotional. 111 00:06:59.860 --> 00:07:02.500 And it's okay that you do. 112 00:07:02.920

--> 00:07:03.139 But. 113 00:07:07.550 --> 00:07:12.850 Losing Jeff was really... I think each one of us 114 00:07:12.949 --> 00:07:15.449 as brothers would say it was super impactful. And I 115 00:07:15.490 --> 00:07:17.750 think it's going to impact each one of us in 116 00:07:17.790 --> 00:07:22.240 a different way. But I told you this morning, it's 117 00:07:22.310 --> 00:07:30.959 given me a sense of urgency. For? That time could 118 00:07:30.980 --> 00:07:36.290 be short for any of us. And so... it's important 119 00:07:36.350 --> 00:07:41.370 to take advantage of that time. And what I've been 120 00:07:41.410 --> 00:07:44.600 doing over the last several years and what you've been doing, 121 00:07:44.649 --> 00:07:46.680 and we've both kind of been on this pathway, it's 122 00:07:46.720 --> 00:07:50.519 like there needs to be a little bit of a 123 00:07:50.560 --> 00:07:56.319 sense of urgency about helping people find ways to heal. 124 00:07:58.120 --> 00:08:02.589 And we have found ways, we're finding ways, and we'll 125 00:08:02.750 --> 00:08:07.379 continue to find ways To heal. Because life, it's just 126 00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:12.120 a process of that. Our last podcast, we talked about preferences. 127 00:08:13.100 --> 00:08:19.220 And those preferences can sometimes create energies around our lives 128 00:08:19.259 --> 00:08:24.139 where we do need some healing from those things. Because 129 00:08:24.180 --> 00:08:28.399 we get stuck in the myriad of ways. But I 130 00:08:28.540 --> 00:08:39.350 feel a lot less stuck. And I... I feel closer 131 00:08:39.409 --> 00:08:43.330 to Jeff. I've felt closer to Jeff since he passed. 132 00:08:44.669 --> 00:08:50.610 And had an experience with my boys playing music right 133 00:08:50.669 --> 00:08:53.830 after he had passed. We were playing harmonicas together, and 134 00:08:54.370 --> 00:08:58.389 I just had this sense and this feeling that Jeff 135 00:08:58.429 --> 00:09:02.639 was there. I mean, he was a musician. He loved music. Yes, 136 00:09:02.679 --> 00:09:06.559 he did. And, you know, my experience with music has 137 00:09:06.600 --> 00:09:11.879 been one of, very very spiritual journey with music not 138 00:09:11.940 --> 00:09:16.679 just playing music but being music and when I can 139 00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:18.480 get out of the way and go to that place 140 00:09:19.259 --> 00:09:25.620 I feel it feels different all I can say is 141 00:09:25.659 --> 00:09:28.259 it just feels different it was already good but it's 142 00:09:28.340 --> 00:09:41.379 better I feel like this confirmation or acceptance of what 143 00:09:42.120 --> 00:09:44.080 some of the things I had been telling Jeff about 144 00:09:44.159 --> 00:09:50.250 music that he now understands. And I don't really know 145 00:09:50.279 --> 00:09:55.649 how to explain that other than to say that getting 146 00:09:55.730 --> 00:09:58.330 present and going into music and allowing music to just 147 00:09:58.389 --> 00:10:02.480 play through you is different than playing music that already 148 00:10:02.539 --> 00:10:06.899 exists it's way less head and a lot more heart 149 00:10:08.519 --> 00:10:12.320 and in that space of playing from that in the 150 00:10:12.379 --> 00:10:18.679 heart space I've felt a connection to Jeff Um, not 151 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:21.220 in a woo woo, he's in the room kind of way, 152 00:10:21.860 --> 00:10:24.370 but in a, the energy of Jeff was there. 153 00:10:24.379 --> 00:10:25.230 Right. 154 00:10:25.590 --> 00:10:29.009 I could sense his love for me. I could sense 155 00:10:29.090 --> 00:10:33.090 my love for him. Um, the, the adoration that we 156 00:10:33.129 --> 00:10:36.750 each have and have had for music while we, we 157 00:10:36.820 --> 00:10:42.240 each saw it differently. It's still the same thing. And, uh, 158 00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:47.490 it was hard. Um, He passed away a week ago 159 00:10:47.509 --> 00:10:51.830 last Thursday. And the Monday after that, I'd taken the 160 00:10:51.870 --> 00:10:59.509 whole weekend and been processing that. And when Monday came, 161 00:11:00.629 --> 00:11:03.870 there was a video that I believe Jenny, his daughter, 162 00:11:03.909 --> 00:11:06.909 shared with us. And it was him singing at the 163 00:11:07.330 --> 00:11:10.250 Bear Lake County Fair. He'd just barely done that with 164 00:11:10.289 --> 00:11:14.039 his guitar playing and singing. And he was singing a 165 00:11:14.100 --> 00:11:19.399 John Prine song. about Monday. It's going to be a 166 00:11:19.429 --> 00:11:24.240 hard Monday, I think is the name of it. And, man. 167 00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:26.259 It was. 168 00:11:26.340 --> 00:11:27.419 It was a hard Monday. 169 00:11:27.440 --> 00:11:28.820 Yeah. 170 00:11:30.700 --> 00:11:34.980 And all the preparations were being made for the funeral 171 00:11:35.139 --> 00:11:39.529 and for what was going to happen. And there was 172 00:11:39.549 --> 00:11:42.450 so much support in my family. We don't all see 173 00:11:43.309 --> 00:11:47.240 things the same. But there's no judgment going on and 174 00:11:47.279 --> 00:11:50.820 there's no shame. We're not all following the same path. 175 00:11:50.860 --> 00:11:55.179 We're not all religious or non-religious. It's a mishmash of 176 00:11:55.259 --> 00:11:55.659 all of it. 177 00:11:56.379 --> 00:12:01.230 Well, and it starts to give you kind of clarity 178 00:12:01.259 --> 00:12:06.750 around what family means. And certainly family means something different 179 00:12:06.789 --> 00:12:11.350 for every family. But it helps you within the boundaries 180 00:12:11.429 --> 00:12:15.190 or within the circle of your own family ask yourself, 181 00:12:15.269 --> 00:12:20.539 what does family mean to me? And do these relationships 182 00:12:21.139 --> 00:12:25.480 mean something to me? And what is it that they mean? 183 00:12:25.879 --> 00:12:30.580 Because these relationships have been witnesses to our life from 184 00:12:30.639 --> 00:12:34.600

the start. And while we may have ups and downs 185 00:12:34.840 --> 00:12:37.950 and we see the world differently and people take different 186 00:12:37.990 --> 00:12:42.590 paths and we have what I would call now learning 187 00:12:42.649 --> 00:12:46.519 experiences with each other, right? that if it weren't with 188 00:12:46.580 --> 00:12:49.419 a family member, you may not engage with them or 189 00:12:50.100 --> 00:12:53.370 you may not let it impact you. But because it's family, 190 00:12:54.350 --> 00:12:59.090 because it's inside that circle, those ups and downs are 191 00:12:59.129 --> 00:13:03.490 with you and you're weathering it. And that is what 192 00:13:03.570 --> 00:13:06.970 we all go through within the circle of our family. 193 00:13:07.490 --> 00:13:08.789 And you're weathering it together. 194 00:13:09.250 --> 00:13:12.710 And you weather it together. And when you can keep 195 00:13:12.750 --> 00:13:17.820 your arms around family, that unit, it's just beautifully designed 196 00:13:17.940 --> 00:13:22.190 that the unit of family brings to us so much 197 00:13:22.610 --> 00:13:28.149 experience that we learn through and that we can navigate 198 00:13:28.190 --> 00:13:33.629 because by its structure itself, it is supportive. Even when 199 00:13:33.690 --> 00:13:38.940 people are in the most challenging situations and I can 200 00:13:38.980 --> 00:13:43.529 only speak to the family's the family circles that I know, 201 00:13:43.580 --> 00:13:46.679 which is mine and now yours, those are the two 202 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:51.139 family circles we have the opportunity and gift of being 203 00:13:51.179 --> 00:13:54.360 a part of. And those family circles, you know, they're 204 00:13:54.379 --> 00:13:59.080 very different, but yet they're so full of love and 205 00:13:59.139 --> 00:14:03.679 so full of support. And yes, they're also full of 206 00:14:03.740 --> 00:14:07.539 challenge at times and they're full of heartache, but it 207 00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:11.779 gives us the foundation that we then can show up 208 00:14:11.820 --> 00:14:14.039 in the world. and know that we're not alone. 209 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:18.159 You're not going to avoid that in life. No. That's 210 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:19.240 the pattern of living. 211 00:14:19.519 --> 00:14:22.240 I think it's an agreement that we might have all 212 00:14:22.279 --> 00:14:25.279 had when we chose a life journey. 213 00:14:25.879 --> 00:14:26.090 Yeah. 214 00:14:26.950 --> 00:14:30.230 And we made that commitment of family. It's kind of 215 00:14:30.269 --> 00:14:35.990 like a commitment of soul saying, we will have this 216 00:14:36.029 --> 00:14:38.429 journey together. We will be one another's witness. 217 00:14:38.490 --> 00:14:38.750 Yeah. 218 00:14:39.309 --> 00:14:43.289 And we will understand what we each choose and what 219 00:14:43.360 --> 00:14:46.299 we struggle with and what we celebrate. And we're going 220 00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:47.639 to be, we're going

to be there. 221 00:14:47.539 --> 00:14:48.120 For the ride. 222 00:14:48.299 --> 00:14:48.519 Yeah. 223 00:14:49.899 --> 00:14:54.139 You know, it's interesting, the timing of everything. My good friend, 224 00:14:54.899 --> 00:14:59.620 Carl Rabke does an event twice a year on Memorial 225 00:14:59.659 --> 00:15:04.710 Day and Labor Day weekends. And it's, it's an event 226 00:15:04.889 --> 00:15:08.490 to help process grief. And it's usually from the loss 227 00:15:08.549 --> 00:15:11.500 of a loved one. I think almost always it's involved 228 00:15:11.529 --> 00:15:15.240 in that. And so they bring in, I think there's 229 00:15:15.580 --> 00:15:18.740 probably about 30 people or so. And he's had me 230 00:15:18.820 --> 00:15:21.700 come in with him and Alex, the other guy that 231 00:15:21.740 --> 00:15:24.919 runs it with him. And we play drums. Vinny has 232 00:15:24.980 --> 00:15:29.679 joined us and played drums. Vinny Campillo has also joined 233 00:15:29.740 --> 00:15:33.480 us and done that before. But while we're doing that, 234 00:15:33.940 --> 00:15:37.830 it's really heavy drumming that's going on. And people are 235 00:15:37.870 --> 00:15:41.649 going up to, to this altar that they've created to just, 236 00:15:41.950 --> 00:15:46.169 it's like, you know, memories, pictures of family members, uh, 237 00:15:46.669 --> 00:15:49.590 all of these different things. And they take time to 238 00:15:49.629 --> 00:15:53.100 go up there and process. And, um, it just so 239 00:15:53.149 --> 00:15:56.539 happened that that was this last Sunday at right after 240 00:15:56.600 --> 00:15:59.759 Jeff's funeral was on Friday. So I got to go 241 00:15:59.799 --> 00:16:02.379 to this event and witness all of these people that 242 00:16:02.399 --> 00:16:07.759 were there processing their grief. And, um, It's a really 243 00:16:08.919 --> 00:16:11.539 super powerful event, but this time, I mean, it was 244 00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:16.440 even more so because my heart was so tender having 245 00:16:16.539 --> 00:16:21.610 just had this experience of burying Jeff on Friday. And 246 00:16:22.570 --> 00:16:27.289 I'm witnessing people processing their grief, and Carl invited me 247 00:16:27.389 --> 00:16:30.110 to also go and participate and do that, and I 248 00:16:30.470 --> 00:16:34.470 was able to do that. And, you know, shed lots 249 00:16:34.509 --> 00:16:38.889 of tears, and I am... sad i would say uh 250 00:16:40.389 --> 00:16:43.620 i'm missing jeff i miss the fact that i can't 251 00:16:43.649 --> 00:16:47.100 pick up the phone calling right um there's a lot 252 00:16:47.139 --> 00:16:50.039 of things about that that i am really gonna miss 253 00:16:50.379 --> 00:16:56.899 and it seems surreal but i'm also grateful that he 254 00:16:56.960 --> 00:17:03.019 wasn't severely injured right um that he passed suddenly and 255 00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:07.650 uh He didn't, the way he left this life would 256 00:17:07.690 --> 00:17:10.349 have been the way he wanted to leave. It was 257 00:17:10.390 --> 00:17:13.910 like my dad left. My dad, he wasn't in an accident. 258 00:17:14.029 --> 00:17:16.730 He went and fed his horses and passed away from 259 00:17:16.750 --> 00:17:17.329 a heart attack. 260 00:17:17.670 --> 00:17:17.970 Right. 261 00:17:18.230 --> 00:17:22.670 And Jeff, same kind of thing. I mean, his wife 262 00:17:22.730 --> 00:17:25.250 was right around the corner. She didn't even know that 263 00:17:25.309 --> 00:17:27.599 it happened. The ambulances and everything had come and she 264 00:17:27.630 --> 00:17:30.420 didn't hear it or witness it. She was busy on 265 00:17:30.460 --> 00:17:33.890 a phone call. I didn't even know that it happened. 266 00:17:33.910 --> 00:17:35.210 It was an hour and a half later and it 267 00:17:35.269 --> 00:17:40.450 was 200 yards from their home that this accident happened. And, 268 00:17:40.470 --> 00:17:43.309 you know, the circumstances around it and all that really 269 00:17:43.349 --> 00:17:46.809 don't matter. As I went down to the crash site 270 00:17:46.849 --> 00:17:48.789 and looked at it, it was like, how could this 271 00:17:48.829 --> 00:17:54.299 have killed him? It didn't look that bad. But it 272 00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:56.680 was enough. And it just seemed like everything that was 273 00:17:56.720 --> 00:17:59.799 going on in Jeff's life and the things that he 274 00:17:59.819 --> 00:18:04.579 had been preparing and kind of had without saying it, 275 00:18:04.619 --> 00:18:07.339 had this intuition because he was, like you said, he 276 00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:11.700 was organizing the next brother's retreat. He was organizing a 277 00:18:11.740 --> 00:18:15.809 retreat with his sons. Which he had just completed. Just 278 00:18:15.849 --> 00:18:18.890 completed right before his death a week before. They all 279 00:18:18.930 --> 00:18:22.130 went to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho on an event together, he 280 00:18:22.170 --> 00:18:25.750 and his three sons, just the four of them. And... 281 00:18:28.210 --> 00:18:30.710 He went down and visited his son and his family 282 00:18:30.730 --> 00:18:34.079 in Arizona. He went down to Saratoga Springs here in 283 00:18:34.190 --> 00:18:37.980 Utah and visited his other daughter and their family. He 284 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:40.220 had just been doing all of the stuff. The day 285 00:18:40.259 --> 00:18:43.839 he passed away, he was headed to Idaho Falls where 286 00:18:43.880 --> 00:18:47.200 his daughter's son was going to be going to the temple. 287 00:18:48.900 --> 00:18:52.680 The Mormon temple. To go on a mission. They would 288 00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:55.240 have left that day and gone and seen that, but 289 00:18:56.599 --> 00:19:01.569 it wasn't to be. So it's difficult to see that, 290 00:19:01.630 --> 00:19:03.490 but all of these things that he was doing in 291 00:19:03.529 --> 00:19:08.609 his life, playing so much music and sharing so much music, 292 00:19:11.990 --> 00:19:14.220 the thing

that he was passionate about, it was music. 293 00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:19.000 I was passionate about music, and he was passionate about music. 294 00:19:19.160 --> 00:19:25.920 I still am. And I really feel that his influence 295 00:19:26.099 --> 00:19:29.619 is there And it isn't that I'll play music like 296 00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:32.980 him or the way he played music, but it's like 297 00:19:33.019 --> 00:19:36.490 this energy behind me saying, keep doing this. This is 298 00:19:36.529 --> 00:19:40.230 what you're supposed to do. That's what I feel. 299 00:19:41.470 --> 00:19:44.750 It's a gift that has been given you to use 300 00:19:44.890 --> 00:19:47.230 as an expression while you are in this world. 301 00:19:47.269 --> 00:19:47.490 Yes. 302 00:19:48.049 --> 00:19:53.039 And that's one of the things. that we all, you know, 303 00:19:53.119 --> 00:19:54.059 I think strive to. 304 00:19:54.079 --> 00:19:54.579 Search for. 305 00:19:54.920 --> 00:19:57.009 Right, we search for it, we strive to find it. 306 00:19:57.589 --> 00:20:01.150 We sometimes pursue different paths that take us down different avenues, 307 00:20:01.210 --> 00:20:04.269 but it is what brings the greatest joy to us 308 00:20:04.670 --> 00:20:07.869 when we align to it and can share it with others. 309 00:20:08.380 --> 00:20:13.140 and find that that is where my expression blooms. And 310 00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:17.220 that's definitely where his expression was at its best, and 311 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:18.079 it's where yours is. 312 00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:24.490 It is. During his services, all of his children spoke, 313 00:20:25.769 --> 00:20:30.250 and his two sons also sang. Yeah, it was beautiful. 314 00:20:30.269 --> 00:20:34.529 Devin and Dustin sang together, and then Dustin sang one solo. 315 00:20:34.549 --> 00:20:36.309 It was beautiful. 316 00:20:36.329 --> 00:20:37.289 His voice is angelic. 317 00:20:38.089 --> 00:20:42.809 The music was amazing. Music is a magical thing. So 318 00:20:42.950 --> 00:20:44.809 that was a deep thing that Jeff and I had 319 00:20:44.829 --> 00:20:47.910 a connection with. And we played, we jammed. He'd play 320 00:20:47.950 --> 00:20:49.670 his guitar and I'd play my flute and we would 321 00:20:49.690 --> 00:20:52.039 jam and just have fun. 322 00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:56.380 And I think as it's still very tender on your 323 00:20:56.420 --> 00:21:01.970 heart and hard, it has given you sort of a, 324 00:21:03.140 --> 00:21:06.369 not a wake-up call, but like just kind of Pay 325 00:21:06.430 --> 00:21:09.250 attention to this, Scott, to the way you spend your 326 00:21:09.269 --> 00:21:13.390 days and the time with the ones you love and 327 00:21:14.730 --> 00:21:17.990 that each day we've been given this wild, beautiful life 328 00:21:18.759 --> 00:21:21.980 and how we choose to use it each day. It matters. 329 00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:29.400 It does. And I want to be more productive in 330 00:21:29.460 --> 00:21:34.559 the things that I'm passionate about, music, mostly music, but 331 00:21:34.619 --> 00:21:38.990 other things too. And I just think it's important. I 332 00:21:39.029 --> 00:21:41.529 think I have a message that I want to get 333 00:21:41.589 --> 00:21:44.829 out there. And it doesn't have any words attached to it. 334 00:21:45.009 --> 00:21:48.529 It's about you can play music. 335 00:21:49.329 --> 00:21:52.599 It's an expression that you can express with music. 336 00:21:52.740 --> 00:21:57.400 Everybody can play music. And I think I have the 337 00:21:57.440 --> 00:22:00.940 capacity and gift to be able to teach that to 338 00:22:01.019 --> 00:22:04.019 people who don't think they can play music. Yeah, because 339 00:22:04.039 --> 00:22:05.789 you already have. Because that happened to me. 340 00:22:06.269 --> 00:22:06.430 Yeah. 341 00:22:07.869 --> 00:22:09.569 That's what I want to do. That's what I feel 342 00:22:10.250 --> 00:22:13.910 passionate about is opening that up for other people. So 343 00:22:14.950 --> 00:22:17.430 I don't know how that's going to unfold, but I 344 00:22:17.490 --> 00:22:20.630 know that it's important that it be shared. 345 00:22:21.250 --> 00:22:23.970 And it's an important aspect of the way you also 346 00:22:24.009 --> 00:22:25.289 honor Jeff. 347 00:22:25.430 --> 00:22:25.950 Absolutely. 348 00:22:26.029 --> 00:22:28.910 And his love for music as well. So it's a 349 00:22:28.950 --> 00:22:30.390 way you'll keep him close to you. 350 00:22:31.029 --> 00:22:33.710 It is. And he's a driving force behind it, I 351 00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:34.170 can feel. 352 00:22:34.490 --> 00:22:34.690 Right. 353 00:22:36.599 --> 00:22:43.680 So it is a tenderness that we all experience. We 354 00:22:43.720 --> 00:22:45.940 don't get out of this life without experiencing it. 355 00:22:46.700 --> 00:22:49.400 I was going to say, you know, if you're listening 356 00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:51.630 to this and you're someone who's lost a loved one, 357 00:22:52.430 --> 00:22:56.670 I remember someone, when you lost your sister, Jean, we 358 00:22:56.710 --> 00:22:58.710 had one of our good friends come over and sit 359 00:22:58.750 --> 00:23:00.289 down on the couch and talk to you about it. 360 00:23:01.089 --> 00:23:03.230 And he said, don't get stuck in the grief. 361 00:23:03.980 --> 00:23:05.480 Right, because I didn't want to get out of bed. 362 00:23:05.500 --> 00:23:07.549 Yeah. I didn't really want to get up for a 363 00:23:07.609 --> 00:23:12.119 few days. And it really was, uh, difficult with your 364 00:23:12.150 --> 00:23:16.859 sister because it was, didn't have to happen. It wasn't, 365 00:23:17.099 --> 00:23:20.279 it was an accident, you know, a surgery that went 366 00:23:20.359 --> 00:23:25.700 south and, um, but so unexpected. And she was like Jeff, 367 00:23:25.720 --> 00:23:26.740 kind of this bridge. 368 00:23:26.779 --> 00:23:28.220 She was the oldest one. 369 00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:32.490 She was the oldest and the wise

one and the 370 00:23:32.529 --> 00:23:35.730 peacemaker and, of that. Jeff had a lot of that too. 371 00:23:36.029 --> 00:23:39.730 He bridges, there's a lot of wide range of differences 372 00:23:39.849 --> 00:23:42.690 between all of us brothers. And he was kind of 373 00:23:42.730 --> 00:23:46.319 the bridge between the two. He was the bridge between 374 00:23:46.359 --> 00:23:48.240 the rebels and the compliers. 375 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:49.000 Right. 376 00:23:50.059 --> 00:23:50.339 Right. 377 00:23:50.460 --> 00:23:53.700 And it, you know, that day, because it can be, 378 00:23:54.220 --> 00:23:58.950 it can be easy or easier to get lost in 379 00:23:58.990 --> 00:24:02.210 the grief because the grief is so heavy when you 380 00:24:03.029 --> 00:24:05.609 when that moment first happens, when you first lose them, 381 00:24:05.650 --> 00:24:09.900 and that separation is so hard. And as you sit 382 00:24:09.940 --> 00:24:14.460 with it, and as you understand that life moves forward, 383 00:24:15.500 --> 00:24:18.680 that the best way to honor them is to continue 384 00:24:18.740 --> 00:24:24.710 to live life, not get stuck in life. Because they 385 00:24:24.730 --> 00:24:27.109 would want that. They would want you to continue living 386 00:24:27.130 --> 00:24:32.470 and to be expressing and living your full self while 387 00:24:32.509 --> 00:24:37.490 still here and once you can get to that there 388 00:24:37.630 --> 00:24:39.809 you know it's a roller coaster there are days when 389 00:24:40.869 --> 00:24:43.599 the longing and the sorrow is so great you know 390 00:24:44.019 --> 00:24:47.180 or you'll hear their voice you'll hear you'll hear the 391 00:24:47.220 --> 00:24:49.940 song that he's saying and it'll take you back to 392 00:24:49.980 --> 00:24:50.759 a moment and. 393 00:24:51.180 --> 00:24:53.700 Roller coaster is the perfect word i've been using that 394 00:24:53.740 --> 00:24:55.400 a lot lately. 395 00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:58.700 And it's just it is the It is something that 396 00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:01.099 the heart goes through to teach us, but it's an 397 00:25:01.160 --> 00:25:05.460 experience that makes us stronger and makes us more committed 398 00:25:05.500 --> 00:25:10.259 to living while we're here and living with fullness for 399 00:25:10.460 --> 00:25:12.900 all those that are still here with us and that 400 00:25:12.920 --> 00:25:13.279 we love. 401 00:25:14.220 --> 00:25:17.140 Yeah, it's take advantage of the time you have, right? 402 00:25:17.980 --> 00:25:20.099 Tomorrow is promised to no one, as they say. 403 00:25:20.339 --> 00:25:20.619 Yes. 404 00:25:21.579 --> 00:25:27.650 And I'm not afraid to leave this world. And I'm 405 00:25:27.670 --> 00:25:30.029 not afraid to not accomplish what I want to accomplish. 406 00:25:30.089 --> 00:25:31.930 But what I do want to do is just every 407 00:25:31.950 --> 00:25:36.390 day strive to do more and strive to help more 408 00:25:36.490 --> 00:25:40.349 and learn more and be curious as we continually talk about. 409 00:25:40.369 --> 00:25:40.910 Yeah. 410 00:25:41.190 --> 00:25:42.289 And do it together. Yeah. 411 00:25:42.950 --> 00:25:44.529 I want to still do this ride with you. 412 00:25:44.809 --> 00:25:48.390 I do too. A little more traveling to do probably. 413 00:25:48.509 --> 00:25:51.130 More traveling. We're not in the no-go stage yet. 414 00:25:51.269 --> 00:25:52.490 Nope. Not in the no-go. 415 00:25:54.470 --> 00:25:54.910 And so. 416 00:25:56.460 --> 00:25:59.789 But we're glad to be back with you. We're glad 417 00:25:59.809 --> 00:26:03.509 to be in a season of new podcasts. And we 418 00:26:03.529 --> 00:26:06.289 welcome you here. We welcome your thoughts. Send us any 419 00:26:06.329 --> 00:26:09.930 messages that you may have or questions. We're more than 420 00:26:09.970 --> 00:26:12.470 happy to help. And we want to be here for 421 00:26:12.490 --> 00:26:15.750 the community. And you're a very rich part of our lives. 422 00:26:15.849 --> 00:26:16.910 So welcome. 423 00:26:17.609 --> 00:26:17.950 You are. 424 00:26:18.809 --> 00:26:24.849 We so appreciate and are grateful for these last four years. 425 00:26:25.539 --> 00:26:30.789 And having this opportunity to be part of this podcast 426 00:26:30.869 --> 00:26:32.390 and share this time that you and I get to 427 00:26:32.430 --> 00:26:35.869 have together. Yeah. And having some amazing conversations. So much, 428 00:26:35.970 --> 00:26:36.769 much more to come. 429 00:26:36.890 --> 00:26:38.069 We can't wait for the next four. 430 00:26:38.710 --> 00:26:44.819 We cannot. So. Five years next year. That'll be a milestone. 431 00:26:44.839 --> 00:26:47.839 We'll have to do some kind of giveaway. Yes, of course. 432 00:26:49.339 --> 00:26:52.059 All right. Well, thank you for joining us and listening 433 00:26:52.099 --> 00:26:54.420 to us today. So until next time. 434 00:26:55.490 --> 00:27:21.039 You and me, sitting in the back of my memory. 435 00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:23.740 Like a honeybee, buzzing around a glass of sweet chablis 436 00:27:25.930 --> 00:27:29.190 Radio's on and the windows rolled up and my mind's 437 00:27:29.230 --> 00:27:35.089 rolled down Headlights like silver moons rolling on. 438 00:27:34.910 --> 00:27:35.670 The ground. 439 00:27:37.609 --> 00:27:42.279 We made love in every way love can be made 440 00:27:43.359 --> 00:27:47.839 We made time seem like time could never fade. 441 00:27:47.359 --> 00:27:52.819 Friday night we both made the guitars hum. 442 00:27:55.039 --> 00:27:57.420 Saturday made Sunday feel like it. 443 00:27:57.380 --> 00:27:58.539 Would never come. 444 00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:04.759 Gonna be a long Monday. Sitting all alone on a 445 00:28:04.819 --> 00:28:08.759 mountain by a river that has no end. It's gonna 446 00:28:08.779 --> 00:28:11.779 be a long Monday. 447 00:28:11.859 --> 00:28:13.500 Stuck like a tick of a clock. 448 00:28:13.940 --> 00:28:15.769 It's coming round again. 449 00:28:43.029 --> 00:28:49.049 Soul to soul, heart to heart, cheek to cheek. Come 450 00:28:49.289 --> 00:28:53.660 on baby, give me a kiss to last all week. 451 00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:56.960 Thought of you. 452 00:28:56.539 --> 00:28:58.220 Leaving again brings me down. 453 00:29:00.259 --> 00:29:05.720 Promise of your sweet love turns me around Gonna be 454 00:29:05.819 --> 00:29:10.869 a long Monday Sitting all alone on a mound by 455 00:29:10.940 --> 00:29:14.650 a river that has no end It's gonna be a 456 00:29:15.470 --> 00:29:19.609 long Monday Stuck like a tick of a clock that's 457 00:29:19.630 --> 00:29:20.950 come unwound again And. 458 00:29:20.990 --> 00:29:39.950 Again Thank you. 459 00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:51.759 Seven deadly sins sitting at the bottom of the deep 460 00:29:51.779 --> 00:29:54.069 blue sea. 461 00:29:54.450 --> 00:29:57.509 Objects in the mirror may appear nearer than they seem 462 00:29:57.529 --> 00:30:18.599 to be. If you're enjoying the Observatory Podcast, please consider subscribing, 463 00:30:19.079 --> 00:30:22.299 sharing us, and if you have time to write a 464 00:30:22.339 --> 00:30:24.740 review about something that may have affected your life or 465 00:30:24.789 --> 00:30:28.069 helped you in some way, please do so. That helps 466 00:30:28.109 --> 00:30:30.329 us to get the word out and get this information 467 00:30:30.490 --> 00:30:32.789 out to more and more people so that it can 468 00:30:32.809 --> 00:30:36.670 be shared and we can help ripple out this energy 469 00:30:36.710 --> 00:30:39.690 that's emanating in the world today. There's been so much 470 00:30:39.750 --> 00:30:42.599 separation and we want to find a way to create 471 00:30:42.630 --> 00:30:46.819 conversations where we can come together. not divide so much 472 00:30:46.980 --> 00:30:50.369 as we have been to learn to come together in unity. 473 00:30:51.009 --> 00:30:51.369 Thank you. 474 00:30:55.369 --> 00:30:57.849 You've been listening to the Observatory Podcast. 475 00:30:58.230 --> 00:31:01.430 Please be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any 476 00:31:01.670 --> 00:31:03.130 of our future episodes.