UDSKRIFT 🔗
00:00:00
Speaker 1: Previously in Act Two. When we last left Cuesta, it was 1991, and Paul, a grieving gay widower, had killed a young man in an alley behind a gay bar. His sister Susan covered for him. Daniel, a homeless witness, lied to the police and started following Paul home. The dead boy was Will. His mother Lori, a village hairdresser sleeping with her parish priest, was already in spiritual freefall. Susan was pregnant. Bradley was dying of AIDS. Then it all tightened. Paul started following Lori. He sat across from her at a Jersey coffee shop, pretended to be one of her old clients, and cried in front of her for the first time since the killing. She comforted him. Daniel sat next to Paul at AA and told him he was beautiful. Paul walked into a gay bar shaking and gave a stranger his number. Susan came to his apartment and found him refusing meat and talking about trying to be good. By the end of Act II, Lori had walked into a confessional Interior Paul's apartment later that evening. Richard, Lori's ex-boss and the guy from the bar, is sitting on Paul's sofa. Paul is surprised that Richard.
00:01:20
Speaker 2: One more time.
00:01:21
Speaker 3: R sitting on.
00:01:21
Speaker 1: Well, but R, I know. And I do think it's a typo because it's one guy.
00:01:26
Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, it is.
00:01:26
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I thought Richard and Lori were there together. Yeah, I know.
00:01:29
Speaker 1: That's what I thought. No, it caught me off guard when I was practicing. So that's the only reason I know. Interior Paul's apartment later that evening. Richard, Lori's ex-boss and the guy from the bar, is sitting on Paul's sofa. Paul is surprised that Richard called him. Richard is surprised that he called Paul. What to do? What to say? Paul hands him a glass.
00:01:53
Speaker 3: Sorry, I only have water.
00:01:54
Speaker 5: That's okay.
00:01:56
Speaker 1: Paul sits on the sofa.
00:01:59
Speaker 2: Just a chance calling you tonight. I'm surprised you remembered me.
00:02:04
Speaker 3: It's only been a couple weeks. I'm glad I picked up the phone.
00:02:09
Speaker 2: I don't usually do things like this. Call up someone I hardly know and.
00:02:15
Speaker 1: You know, Paul is just smiling at Richard. Both guys are uncomfortable.
00:02:20
Speaker 5: Nice place.
00:02:22
Speaker 3: You caught it on a good day.
00:02:24
Speaker 5: What are you thinking?
00:02:26
Speaker 3: About you.
00:02:28
Speaker 5: What about me?
00:02:30
Speaker 3: I'm wondering what you look like without your clothes.
00:02:33
Speaker 1: Paul goes to unbutton Richard's shirt.
00:02:35
Speaker 5: Oh, you move fast.
00:02:40
Speaker 3: I'm hoping you didn't come here to discuss Proust.
00:02:42
Speaker 5: Not Proust, but the use of irony in Jackie Collins.
00:02:47
Speaker 4: Touché.
00:02:49
Speaker 5: I haven't had sex in a long time.
00:02:51
Speaker 3: Neither have I.
00:02:53
Speaker 2: That's hard to believe. You seem very comfortable with the idea, and you're a bit aggressive.
00:03:01
Speaker 6: Kevin would have roared if he heard you say that. He thought of me as uptight and shy.
00:03:06
Speaker 5: Was he your lover?
00:03:08
Speaker 4: Yes.
00:03:09
Speaker 3: My dead one.
00:03:10
Speaker 5: Mine was John.
00:03:12
Speaker 3: We gay boys who have so much in common... Our love of divas and dead boyfriends.
00:03:18
Speaker 5: Let's not talk about that now.
00:03:21
Speaker 1: After a moment, Paul gets up. And although also a bit nervous, he begins to undress himself.
00:03:26
Speaker 2: Should I?
00:03:29
Speaker 5: I don't know if this is going to work.
00:03:31
Speaker 3: Don't you like sex?
00:03:33
Speaker 1: Paul continues to undress as Richard watches him.
00:03:36
Speaker 4: Obsessed with it.
00:03:38
Speaker 2: Masturbate way too much for somebody my age. Since John's death, that's three years. Only had sex twice. Both disasters. But my fantasies get more and more bizarre.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: Paul is down to his underwear. Really?
00:03:58
Speaker 3: Yeah. Let's go there tonight.
00:04:02
Speaker 1: Richard turns away from Paul. Paul kneels near the sofa and puts his arms around Richard.
00:04:08
Speaker 6: Whisper one of your fantasies. I'll create it for you. I'll enter your mind and take it over. This way we can both stop thinking for a while.
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Speaker 1: Richard starts responding to Paul.
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Speaker 3: The darker, the better.
00:04:29
Speaker 4: Go there.
00:04:30
Speaker 1: Richard, still slightly shaking, starts whispering in Paul's ear. The camera gets closer and closer. They begin kissing passionately. Exterior street, day. Daniel is following Paul, but he is quite a ways behind him. The street is packed with people running around with determination and purpose, traffic noise. Daniel appears almost to be in slow motion. He is strolling. He's in a different world, on something powerful. He may have even forgotten he's been following Paul. He passes an attractive heterosexual couple in their twenties. He sizes up the man.
00:05:07
Speaker 4: Are you one lucky bitch?
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Speaker 1: The woman laughs. The man gives Daniel a contemptuous look. Daniel sees this.
00:05:14
Speaker 4: One second, glads.
00:05:15
Speaker 1: Close on Daniel laughing. Cut to interior Paul's apartment, night. Close up on Paul's answering machine. Paul's hand is erasing messages. Ron's voice.
00:05:26
Speaker 6: Hey, it's me.
00:05:27
Speaker 4: Where the hell are you? By the way.
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Speaker 1: Erased. Joan's voice.
00:05:32
Speaker 7: Paul, can you call me back?
00:05:34
Speaker 3: We have to talk about this leave of absence.
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Speaker 1: Erased. Richard's voice.
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Speaker 2: It's Richard. Last night.
00:05:41
Speaker 5: What a night. I'm still.
00:05:43
Speaker 3: Erased.
00:05:45
Speaker 1: The sound of messages gets louder and more garbled as we hear the messages being quickly erased. The camera pulls back to reveal Paul in his semi-lit apartment. It's night. All looks lonely
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and frozen. Exterior, a street in New Jersey. Bright afternoon. Lori comes out of a bank. Some distance from her, Paul lurks near the entrance of a store. He begins to follow Lori. He stays about a half a block away from her. Lori abruptly turns as if she's forgotten something. She instantly spots Paul.
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Speaker 7: It is you.
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Speaker 3: What are you doing?
00:06:20
Speaker 1: Oh, why, hello.
00:06:22
Speaker 7: Have you been following me?
00:06:24
Speaker 2: No.
00:06:25
Speaker 3: It's good to see you. It's been a while.
00:06:29
Speaker 7: What are you doing here?
00:06:31
Speaker 3: Going to St.
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Speaker 4: Anthony's.
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Speaker 7: In the middle of a weekday afternoon. I thought I saw you last week.
00:06:37
Speaker 3: You couldn't have. I haven't come here for a while.
00:06:40
Speaker 7: It was you.
00:06:41
Speaker 3: You're being silly. How about a coffee?
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Speaker 1: Lori stops. She stares at Paul, really looking him over. Paul is terrified.
00:06:51
Speaker 7: You know something about my son? You were never a client of mine.
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Speaker 3: What do you know?
00:06:56
Speaker 1: Nothing.
00:06:57
Speaker 4: Really.
00:06:58
Speaker 7: Oh my God. Do you know who killed him?
00:07:01
Speaker 6: No.
00:07:02
Speaker 7: Was he a friend of yours?
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Speaker 3: I never met him.
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Speaker 7: I don't think that's true.
00:07:08
Speaker 3: I better go.
00:07:09
Speaker 1: Lori grabs him and stops.
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Speaker 8: You move one step away from me and I'll start screaming. How did you know my son?
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Speaker 1: Paul tries not to look at Lori as she holds on to him.
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Speaker 3: I didn't know him.
00:07:20
Speaker 7: Did you meet him in that bar? Had he been there before?
00:07:22
Speaker 6: No.
00:07:23
Speaker 1: A couple of passersby take notice of Paul and Lori.
00:07:26
Speaker 7: Look at you.
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Speaker 3: Look at the pain in your eyes.
00:07:30
Speaker 7: It can't be that. You didn't... Did you... Did you love him?
00:07:35
Speaker 6: What?
00:07:37
Speaker 2: You did.
00:07:40
Speaker 7: You loved him.
00:07:41
Speaker 3: How stupid.
00:07:43
Speaker 4: How blind.
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Speaker 7: Look, I swear I didn't know. Oh, dear Jesus, my son.
00:07:47
Speaker 3: He was.
00:07:50
Speaker 7: Gay, wasn't he?
00:07:50
Speaker 1: Paul breaks away from Lori and starts walking. Lori aggressively follows him.
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Speaker 3: You know he wasn't.
00:07:56
Speaker 7: You're lying.
00:07:57
Speaker 3: Look at you.
00:07:58
Speaker 8: Wanting to be close to me, following me. You loved my son. Was he in love too? Come home with me.
00:08:04
Speaker 7: Tell me about my son. Please.
00:08:07
Speaker 3: This is so wrong.
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Speaker 4: I'll beg.
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Speaker 7: I'll get down on my knees right here on the street.
00:08:12
Speaker 3: I'll never bother you again.
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Speaker 7: I swear it.
00:08:14
Speaker 1: Lori grabs his shirt and clings to it. Paul is afraid to move. People are looking at them.
00:08:18
Speaker 4: Please.
00:08:19
Speaker 9: Please.
00:08:19
Speaker 1: A man rushes up to Lori.
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Speaker 4: Are you alright?
00:08:22
Speaker 7: Get the hell away from me.
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Speaker 1: The man backs away.
00:08:24
Speaker 4: Crazies.
00:08:25
Speaker 1: Paul gently releases Lori's hands from his shirt and takes her in his arms.
00:08:32
Speaker 2: True.
00:08:34
Speaker 1: Close-up picture of Will looking young and happy.
00:08:38
Speaker 7: You can have that picture.
00:08:39
Speaker 1: Dissolve to interior Lori's kitchen the next moment. Paul is seated at Lori's kitchen table. Lori's handing him Will's picture. Paul looks frightened and totally out of it.
00:08:51
Speaker 4: I couldn't.
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Speaker 3: No, no, really.
00:08:52
Speaker 7: I want you to have it.
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Speaker 3: No, thank you.
00:08:57
Speaker 7: You sure he can't get you anything? A little something to drink?
00:09:00
Speaker 3: No, no, thank you.
00:09:02
Speaker 7: Did he have lots of gay friends?
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Speaker 3: I don't think so.
00:09:06
Speaker 7: He was new to it all, wasn't he? I had no inkling. Not the slightest. Where did you meet? Was it in that bar?
00:09:13
Speaker 1: No.
00:09:15
Speaker 3: In a coffee shop.
00:09:16
Speaker 7: But you loved him.
00:09:17
Speaker 1: Paul is desperately trying to hold himself together.
00:09:20
Speaker 7: Please, tell me.
00:09:22
Speaker 10: Yes?
00:09:24
Speaker 4: Yes.
00:09:25
Speaker 1: His smile.
00:09:25
Speaker 7: It was wonderful, wasn't it? That picture captures it. Don't you think so?
00:09:30
Speaker 4: Yes.
00:09:31
Speaker 8: I took it about a month before. We were in Atlantic City, did a little gambling. I'm sure he told you about it. Please, don't be shy. Talk to me about my son. You don't know what it means to me. When I buried him, how I wished there were more people there who left him. This is probably my fault.
00:09:46
Speaker 7: I'm not too social. I'm too guarded.
00:09:49
Speaker 8: I have a small family, just a few friends. He seemed popular at school, though. But only a few of his friends came to the church. You know, young people, they avoid funerals, don't they? Were the two of you serious about each other? Were you making plans for the future?
00:10:05
Speaker 6: I don't know how serious he was. He was younger than me. You're not upset to find out he was gay?
00:10:14
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:10:16
Speaker 8: I'm just happy to talk to someone else who loved him. It's a comfort to me. Mothers want their children to be loved. We all think our children are geniuses. When you guys are little and helpless, we have such fantasies about your futures.
00:10:32
Speaker 7: What were your mother's dreams about you?
00:10:34
Speaker 3: I wouldn't know. She died when I was young.
00:10:38
Speaker 7: How sad.
00:10:38
Speaker 4: Yes, it was.
00:10:40
Speaker 9: What was she like?
00:10:42
Speaker 8: Do you remember?
00:10:45
Speaker 4: Vaguely.
00:10:45
Speaker 3: I was only nine. Every once in a while, I wonder what my life would have been like if my mother had lived.
00:10:52
Speaker 8: When Will was a baby, I was convinced that when he grew up, he would discover the cure for cancer or be a senator or get hideously rich. But he turned out to be just a regular guy, but regular in so many wonderful ways. How I wish he would have been comfortable enough to tell me he was gay.
00:11:09
Speaker 1: Paul can no longer hold himself together. He's shaking and barely holding back his tears.
00:11:16
Speaker 3: I am so sorry.
00:11:17
Speaker 1: Lori cradles Paul in her arms.
00:11:20
Speaker 7: Oh, oh, I'm glad he was loved. You don't have to follow me anymore, because now I know.
00:11:27
Speaker 9: Forgive me, please.
00:11:30
Speaker 3: Forgive me.
00:11:31
Speaker 7: Shh, there's nothing, nothing to forgive.
00:11:37
Speaker 1: The camera pulls out of Lori's kitchen window into the New Jersey street. Dissolve to exterior, New York City street, early evening, later. Paul is on his block heading toward his building. Daniel is on the block waiting for Paul. Daniel spots Paul and watches him. Interior, ground floor entrance to Paul's building, later. Paul enters his building. Mrs. Morente comes down the stairs, spots Paul. He looks lost. Another neighbor enters the building soon after Paul. The neighbor heads to the mailboxes.
00:12:09
Speaker 7: The elevator's out again.
00:12:11
Speaker 3: Honey, what's wrong?
00:12:15
Speaker 1: I'm okay.
00:12:16
Speaker 3: I'm getting better.
00:12:17
Speaker 10: Better from what?
00:12:18
Speaker 1: Paul gives a tiny smile to Mrs. Morente, then bolts upstairs.
00:12:22
Speaker 10: Is it AIDS?
00:12:23
Speaker 4: Or drugs or alcohol? Huh?
00:12:26
Speaker 8: What?
00:12:27
Speaker 1: Fuck you. Interior, Paul's bathroom, later. Paul is looking at himself in the mirror. Doesn't like what he sees. He begins scrubbing his face violently, as if he could scrub himself away. Interior, Paul's apartment, continuous. Paul comes out of the bathroom, all scrubbed up. Paul picks up a photo from the table near his bed and looks at it. It's a picture of four smiling people. Susan, Nicholas, Paul, and another man. Paul has his arm around the man. He then puts the photo down. Dissolved to flashbacks. Interior crowded cheap restaurant day. Paul, Nicholas, and Susan are seated at a table. They're drinking and animated.
00:13:08
Speaker 4: You'll like him.
00:13:09
Speaker 3: If I knew this was a set up, I never would have come. It's not a set up. I thought it was time you met my best friend.
00:13:16
Speaker 7: I just asked him to join us for a drink.
00:13:19
Speaker 3: A setup.
00:13:20
Speaker 6: I have to tell you, I don't think straight men know what is attractive to gay men.
00:13:26
Speaker 3: Especially not after you set me up with Don.
00:13:28
Speaker 1: Paul, you are going to be really grateful. Kevin is great and so cute.
00:13:33
Speaker 4: And I am sorry about Don.
00:13:35
Speaker 3: He picked his nose.
00:13:37
Speaker 4: At dinner.
00:13:38
Speaker 7: Okay, I wasn't aware of that fact.
00:13:41
Speaker 5: But I have to tell you, Kevin is.
00:13:43
Speaker 3: Is what?
00:13:45
Speaker 1: Kevin is beautiful. In a totally masculine way.
00:13:49
Speaker 3: And hot.
00:13:50
Speaker 1: He is the man in the photo in Paul's apartment. Paul and Kevin's eyes lock in a most tender way. Paul gets up to greet Kevin and knocks him for a couple of drinks.
00:13:59
Speaker 4: I think he likes him.
00:14:03
Speaker 1: Dissolve to interior Paul's apartment night. Paul and Kevin are making love and giggling.
00:14:11
Speaker 3: Thank you, Nicholas.
00:14:13
Speaker 9: Thank you, Nicholas.
00:14:15
Speaker 1: Dissolve to interior Paul's apartment a few weeks later. Paul and Kevin are surveying the apartment. Near the door are a few boxes and two large suitcases.
00:14:24
Speaker 9: It's going to be real tight in here.
00:14:27
Speaker 3: It's going to be cozy.
00:14:29
Speaker 1: Paul jumps on Kevin. Dissolve to interior doctor's office day. Kevin and Paul sit opposite Dr. Anna Schwartz. She is giving Kevin very bad news. His AIDS diagnosis. The dialogue is not heard. Kevin looks like a child. He starts shaking and then breaks down. Paul embraces him. The doctor is hating her job. Dissolved to exterior, New York City street, a bit later. Paul and Kevin holding hands walk in a daze as the couple and the streets blur. Back to present. Interior, Lori's kitchen, night. Lori is seated at her kitchen table. Father James is at the kitchen counter adding milk and sugar to this coffee.
00:15:11
Speaker 7: My son was gay.
00:15:14
Speaker 4: What are you talking about?
00:15:16
Speaker 7: I've met his lover. He sat right here.
00:15:21
Speaker 4: He wasn't gay.
00:15:22
Speaker 8: All my little fag jokes about Richard, I didn't really mean them. But what did they sound like to my son? His name is Paul. See?
00:15:31
Speaker 2: See?
00:15:32
Speaker 1: Laurie tosses Father James a slip of paper. It holds Paul's information.
00:15:36
Speaker 8: And I made him give me this in case I want to talk to him again.
00:15:42
Speaker 4: You can't see this man again.
00:15:44
Speaker 7: I might have to. It's good to look into the eyes of someone else who loved him.
00:15:49
Speaker 4: Move to Florida. Be with your sister.
00:15:52
Speaker 7: God has other plans for me. Maybe this boy is my penance.
00:15:57
Speaker 4: God has nothing to do with this.
00:16:00
Speaker 1: They are both silent for a moment.
00:16:04
Speaker 4: You have no idea how much I love you.
00:16:08
Speaker 7: But you love the idea of your God more.
00:16:12
Speaker 1: Interior, hospital room, day. Paul sits close to Bradley, who's lying in bed. He looks ravaged.
00:16:19
Speaker 4: This is it.
00:16:21
Speaker 9: There'll be no going home this time. I've been worried about you. Ron says you're not sick.
00:16:32
Speaker 4: Is that true?
00:16:34
Speaker 3: True.
00:16:35
Speaker 1: Really?
00:16:37
Speaker 2: Really.
00:16:39
Speaker 9: Please don't get sick. Oh, and find yourself another old movie queen.
00:16:47
Speaker 4: No.
00:16:49
Speaker 3: I'm just going to keep playing our conversations in my head.
00:16:53
Speaker 9: Then I won't be forgotten.
00:16:56
Speaker 2: Never.
00:16:56
Speaker 9: Oh, I can't talk anymore.
00:17:02
Speaker 4: I'm so tired. sleep.
00:17:06
Speaker 1: Paul gets up and kisses him on the forehead.
00:17:10
Speaker 9: Don't leave until I'm asleep. When I used to go to sleep, I used to think of the boys I liked or what I would be doing the next day.
00:17:21
Speaker 1: Paul sits on the bed and takes Bradley's hand.
00:17:25
Speaker 9: Stay with me until I fall asleep.
00:17:29
Speaker 6: Think about our time in P-Town. That must have been That must be seven years ago.
00:17:36
Speaker 3: You, Ron, and me. How we danced. People thought we were a threesome. I think you told them that, but we were friends. Family. Every night we would walk along the beach and watch the sunset.
00:17:56
Speaker 6: Remember?
00:17:57
Speaker 1: Bradley is asleep. Paul slowly puts Bradley's hand down and sits back in his chair. The sound of singing is heard. dissolved to exterior street doorway late night. Daniel and Celia are huddled, sitting up on the ground. They're both very high, in their own worlds. It is Celia who is singing. Her voice is soft and lovely.
00:18:18
Speaker 4: Please don't sing. Why? It makes me think of my mama. She used to sing until she married that bastard. Oh, I miss her.
00:18:30
Speaker 10: Sorry.
00:18:32
Speaker 4: Sorry. Jesus, how he used to beat me, burn me, try to kill the queer in me. I was only 12 when I got the hell out of there, worked the streets. I pray there's no God, because if he'd exist, he'd have to be one sick fuck, wouldn't he? I mean, watching the boy get burned by his new daddy. Go to sleep, please.
00:19:04
Speaker 5: You are depressing tonight.
00:19:06
Speaker 4: No, I'm not. I'm reflective.
00:19:10
Speaker 5: Ah, excuse me.
00:19:12
Speaker 4: I hope he's dead. We're really suffering. Your stepdaddy? No, no. That prick croaked years and years ago. Mr. Corey. I met him when I was 17. Thought he was kind. What a bastard he turned out to be. Lived with him for two and a half years. You should have seen me. I made those gay boys drool. I was his project. He educated me. I was a fast learner. You see, I'm smart, just unlearned. I always had pretensions. But I was too fast a learner. Because one morning, Mr. Corey realized what he really wanted was a young black thug. Racist bastard.
00:20:13
Speaker 5: I don't need this tonight. Don't fucking need this.
00:20:18
Speaker 4: Bastard's all over.
00:20:21
Speaker 1: Celia has difficulty getting up, but does. She stumbles away. Daniel hardly notices.
00:20:26
Speaker 4: Bastard's all over. Some of them get to be the lucky ones, don't they? Shut up! Life can be brutal, but we cope. Shut up.
00:20:39
Speaker 1: On Daniel, Celia can be heard picking up her tune as she goes down the street. Exterior, Paul's street day. Father James is walking down Paul's block. He checks the address. As someone comes out of the building, he dashes in. The exiting tenant smiles at the priest. Interior, Paul's apartment, moments later. Paul looks tired. He hears the buzzer and peeks through the peephole to see who it is. He reluctantly opens the door. Hello?
00:21:13
Speaker 4: May I come in?
00:21:14
Speaker 1: Paul opens the door wider and lets Father James enter.
00:21:18
Speaker 4: You've been to my church? Yes.
00:21:20
Speaker 3: What are you doing here?
00:21:22
Speaker 4: We need to talk. About what?
00:21:26
Speaker 1: Laurie.
00:21:27
Speaker 3: Is she all right?
00:21:29
Speaker 4: What's the game? You weren't lovers with her son.
00:21:36
Speaker 3: Is that idea so repellent to you?
00:21:38
Speaker 2: No.
00:21:38
Speaker 4: No, it's just that he wasn't gay. I know that for a fact. Why that absurd lie?
00:21:46
Speaker 3: I think it's best if you just go.
00:21:50
Speaker 4: Answer me!
00:21:53
Speaker 3: To comfort her.
00:21:56
Speaker 4: Why you?
00:21:58
Speaker 3: Please go. You don't want to know.
00:22:00
Speaker 1: Father James just stares at Paul.
00:22:04
Speaker 3: I had to see what she was like. Wanted to know what kind of home he came from. At first, I wanted to hate her.
00:22:14
Speaker 4: Why?
00:22:14
Speaker 1: Paul is now losing it.
00:22:15
Speaker 3: I thought if I hated her, it would be easier for me. But I couldn't. I couldn't hate her.
00:22:22
Speaker 1: Paul begins rocking himself, pacing. He's getting more and more manic. Father James has no idea what's happening.
00:22:28
Speaker 3: I used to be a good person. I used to be happy. I was. People liked me. Wanted to be around me. My phone, it was always ringing. Then the losses began. All my friends. One on top of another.
00:22:49
Speaker 4: And another.
00:22:50
Speaker 3: And another. I just left one today.
00:22:54
Speaker 4: Bradley.
00:22:57
Speaker 3: He'll be dead by tonight. And my lover. We were supposed to be forever. Forever.
00:23:06
Speaker 10: I thought I was strong, be the perfect little caregiver. And I thought I could sit in one hospital room after another and go to one funeral after another, after another and still survive with love in my heart. But love gets eaten away by anger, waves and waves of it. But that's no way to live, is it? I can't keep living that way. I have to do something good. I remember good. I thought, bring her comfort. Bring a fragment of relief to her day. Be of service to her.
00:23:47
Speaker 3: But why to her? Maybe then, maybe, I would.
00:23:52
Speaker 10: Be granted a dreamless night. To be responsible for someone's lifelong suffering.
00:23:59
Speaker 3: Have you any idea what that's like?
00:24:01
Speaker 4: Oh, Michael. God, what are you talking about?
00:24:04
Speaker 1: Paul falls to his knees.
00:24:05
Speaker 10: Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
00:24:08
Speaker 4: Get up.
00:24:09
Speaker 1: Father James pulls Paul to his feet. Paul's like a crumpled rag doll.
00:24:13
Speaker 4: This is not a confessional.
00:24:16
Speaker 3: My last confession was years and years and years.
00:24:19
Speaker 4: Stop it!
00:24:20
Speaker 3: I killed him! I watched his blood, his life.
00:24:26
Speaker 1: They just stare at each other. Paul embraces himself as if he's freezing. Father James finds a chair, sits, and looks away from Paul. After a few moments.
00:24:38
Speaker 4: Oh, dear Jesus.
00:24:42
Speaker 3: That alley. After Kevin died. I had to go there. I just wanted to be touched again.
00:24:49
Speaker 4: Held.
00:24:52
Speaker 3: There I could forget for a moment. You had no history there. You were only a cute face, an inviting mouth.
00:25:03
Speaker 4: Why did you kill that boy?
00:25:07
Speaker 3: The night I met him.
00:25:08
Speaker 4: Will? His name was Will.
00:25:13
Speaker 3: That alley was empty and way too real.
00:25:15
Speaker 1: Dissolve to flashback. Exterior in front of trucking, night. Paul, looking lonely, is walking by trucking. He stops. He walks back and around trucking to the alley. Exterior, the alley, continuous. Razor-sharp images, colors, intense. Muted noise and music are heard coming from the bar. A young man, Will, of 20 or 21, is there, peeing. Paul stands away from him, but tries to catch his eye. He does this awkwardly, almost shyly. Will gives him an almost smile. The young guy is drunk. Will finishes peeing and zips up.
00:25:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, you like this bag?
00:25:56
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm not into that kid.
00:25:59
Speaker 4: Not into what?
00:26:01
Speaker 3: SM talk. Have a good night.
00:26:03
Speaker 4: But you're into dick, aren't you? You'd love mine in your fairy mouth, wouldn't you?
00:26:10
Speaker 1: Paul starts to head out. Will goes over and shoves him.
00:26:13
Speaker 7: Get away from me, please.
00:26:14
Speaker 1: Will shoves him again, harder. Paul instantly slaps Will. Will laughs.
00:26:20
Speaker 4: Ooh, the little girl slapped me.
00:26:22
Speaker 8: Ooh.
00:26:25
Speaker 4: How that hurt. You fucking faggot.
00:26:28
Speaker 1: Will gets in Paul's face. Paul pushes Will away. Will violently grabs Paul.
00:26:33
Speaker 3: This, this is how a man slaps.
00:26:38
Speaker 1: Will gives Paul a couple of violent slaps. Will is still laughing, still calling him names. Paul is defending himself. The camera pulls away from them but still remains on them. Daniel is behind some trash cans and watching. Now from Daniel's point of view. Suddenly, Paul flies into a rage and begins slapping and punching, taking Will totally by surprise. Will keeps laughing. Will is stronger and bigger. However, Will is thrown off balance by one of Paul's attacks. He falls. The sound of his head falling on a rock is heard. Close up of Will's head. Blood is coming from beneath it. His nose is also bleeding. His eyes look vague. Paul does not
notice and immediately jumps on him, grabs his shoulders, and bangs Will's head on the rock. Was he already dead before Paul jumped on him? Close-up of both of them. Paul looks down at Will.
00:27:33
Speaker 7: Will is dead.
00:27:35
Speaker 1: Paul starts moaning like a wounded animal and begins rocking back and forth. He gently starts wiping the blood from Will's face as if by cleaning him up he will bring him back to life. He is treating the dead boy as if he were a lover.
00:27:48
Speaker 4: Ah.
00:28:07
Speaker 4: Wake up.
00:28:08
Speaker 3: Please.
00:28:09
Speaker 4: Wake up.
00:28:11
Speaker 1: Daniel starts moving toward them. Paul hears him and suddenly runs. Back to present. Interior Paul's apartment. Both Paul and Father James are totally silent. Then, after a moment.
00:28:24
Speaker 3: I'm going to the police?
00:28:26
Speaker 4: No.
00:28:27
Speaker 3: Should I confess to Laurie first?
00:28:30
Speaker 2: No.
00:28:30
Speaker 4: Please don't. You can't. Why not? It would only create more suffering for her. She'd blame herself even more. Let her keep the fantasy of a sweet son and a boy who loved him.
00:28:47
Speaker 3: But I have to be punished.
00:28:49
Speaker 4: You already are. It might have been an accident. Maybe.
00:28:57
Speaker 3: Maybe not. What should I do?
00:29:03
Speaker 1: Silence, then.
00:29:07
Speaker 4: He'll do what I say. Yes.
00:29:12
Speaker 1: Dissolve, too.
00:29:14
Speaker 4: You'll see her one more time, and.
00:29:18
Speaker 1: Interior coffee shop, early evening. The coffee shop is sparsely populated. Paul is picking with his fork at a piece of intensely chocolate cake. Lori is watching him. They are pretending to be comfortable with each other.
00:29:31
Speaker 3: It's good. Are you sure you wouldn't like a bite?
00:29:36
Speaker 1: Positive.
00:29:38
Speaker 3: I can get you a fork.
00:29:40
Speaker 4: No, thanks.
00:29:42
Speaker 7: We all loved his sweets.
00:29:44
Speaker 1: Paul tries to smile.
00:29:49
Speaker 3: You know, I was probably your son's only experience. He was experimenting. Young people do that. He might not have been gay it doesn't matter does it no it really doesn't he said if you knew about us you'd probably laugh laugh.
00:30:14
Speaker 6: That it wouldn't be a problem no no it shouldn't be should it he said you were smart and loving really oh yeah i envied him being raised by you He loved you.
00:30:33
Speaker 9: Thank you.
00:30:34
Speaker 1: They sit in silence for a moment.
00:30:37
Speaker 3: I'm going to leave this city. Too many sad memories.
00:30:41
Speaker 7: I might be leaving too.
00:30:43
Speaker 10: Florida.
00:30:44
Speaker 7: Another of life's absurd surprises.
00:30:49
Speaker 3: Might not be so bad.
00:30:50
Speaker 7: You haven't been there, have you?
00:30:51
Speaker 1: More people are entering the coffee shop. Lori's looking around, then... I'll miss you. The camera tracks back, leaving Paul and Lori in a long shot. They're awkwardly saying goodbye to each
other. Exterior, Jersey City Street, across from the coffee shop, night. Daniel is watching them. Paul comes out into the street. He looks a bit unsteady. Daniel crosses the street and starts following Paul at a distance. Paul turns a corner onto a quiet street. Exterior, another street, continuous. Paul, feeling weak, sits on a stoop in order to collect himself. Daniel is on the corner. He makes a decision and approaches Paul.
00:31:33
Speaker 4: Hello.
00:31:34
Speaker 3: I don't have any money.
00:31:36
Speaker 4: Did you hear me asking for any?
00:31:38
Speaker 2: Sorry.
00:31:38
Speaker 1: Paul gets up and starts walking away. Daniel walks with him.
00:31:42
Speaker 4: Don't you remember who I am? I'm Daniel, familiar?
00:31:47
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:31:48
Speaker 1: Paul walks a little faster, trying to get away from Daniel.
00:31:51
Speaker 4: I'm glad you remember.
00:31:53
Speaker 3: I really don't have time to talk.
00:31:55
Speaker 4: Give me a moment, please. I deserve it.
00:31:57
Speaker 1: Paul reaches into his pocket and hands Daniel some change.
00:32:00
Speaker 3: Here, take this.
00:32:01
Speaker 1: Paul walks quickly ahead of Daniel.
00:32:03
Speaker 4: I don't want this. How dare you?
00:32:05
Speaker 1: Daniel throws the change at Paul.
00:32:07
Speaker 4: I never asked much of you, only that you see me, that you look at me with some kindness. I'm not crazy. I'm your witness.
00:32:15
Speaker 1: Paul stops, turns, and faces Daniel.
00:32:18
Speaker 4: I saw you kill that boy. I saw it all. And I described you all wrong to the police, and they believe me.
00:32:27
Speaker 3: Why'd you do that?
00:32:30
Speaker 4: Because I decided to love you. What do you want?
00:32:34
Speaker 1: Nothing.
00:32:37
Speaker 4: I love you.
00:32:38
Speaker 3: How could you love me? You don't even know me.
00:32:42
Speaker 4: I know you better than you think. I know the dead boy haunts you. I know you follow the mother. I've been following you.
00:32:50
Speaker 3: Go to the police. Turn me in.
00:32:54
Speaker 1: Paul turns from Daniel and starts walking away. Daniel follows him.
00:32:57
Speaker 4: I'm not blackmailing you.
00:32:59
Speaker 3: Then what do you want?
00:33:02
Speaker 4: You're lonely like I am. All I want from you is a thank you.
00:33:07
Speaker 3: It would have been better if I were caught.
00:33:09
Speaker 4: That's not what I want to be thanked for.
00:33:12
Speaker 3: Then for what?
00:33:15
Speaker 4: For my love. How many more times in your life will you be loved?
00:33:20
Speaker 1: Three guys walk by. They're suspicious of Daniel.
00:33:22
Speaker 4: Is he bothering you?
00:33:25
Speaker 6: No.
00:33:25
Speaker 4: We're friends.
00:33:27
Speaker 2: Really?
00:33:28
Speaker 1: They continue on their way, chuckling to each other. Paul and Daniel are walking in the other direction.
00:33:34
Speaker 3: Who are you?
00:33:35
Speaker 4: I'm Daniel, a street person. Your witness, the man who loves you. We all need someone to love.
And I chose you. But why? Because you needed it. I used to see you in that alley and wonder, what is up? Handsome boy like you doing in a dark alley. If I were you, I'd be at parties or wanting to get me a boyfriend. Once in the alley, I got so close to you that I could smell your skin. I love the smell. This is nice. Our talking like this.
00:34:20
Speaker 1: They walk for a couple of moments in silence.
00:34:25
Speaker 3: How'd you end up on the street?
00:34:26
Speaker 4: Oh, as a baby. I always dreamed of it. It's a spontaneous kind of life.
00:34:32
Speaker 3: How stupid. I'm sorry.
00:34:33
Speaker 4: No, no. I... I am. Is this nobody ever asked me before? Thank you. Things happen. Dead mother. Dead brother. Asshole stepfather. Lots and lots of pills. Wanting to disappear. Things happen.
00:35:04
Speaker 1: Paul stops, as does Daniel. Paul doesn't really know what to say.
00:35:10
Speaker 3: Let me buy you dinner?
00:35:11
Speaker 1: He reaches into his pocket.
00:35:13
Speaker 4: You mean give me money for dinner or take me to a restaurant?
00:35:16
Speaker 3: Take you to a restaurant.
00:35:17
Speaker 1: They start walking again.
00:35:19
Speaker 4: Really?
00:35:20
Speaker 2: Really.
00:35:22
Speaker 3: What kind of food do you like? Chinese?
00:35:24
Speaker 6: Thai?
00:35:24
Speaker 4: Chinese?
00:35:25
Speaker 3: Italian friend?
00:35:26
Speaker 4: Uh, steak and fries. Is that okay? Sure. Daniel. I like you saying my name.
00:35:37
Speaker 3: I've stopped following the mother.
00:35:40
Speaker 4: And you want me to stop following you?
00:35:44
Speaker 2: Please.
00:35:45
Speaker 1: They walk in silence for a few moments.
00:35:50
Speaker 4: I will. Jesus.
00:35:53
Speaker 1: Jesus.
00:35:55
Speaker 4: I feel sad right now.
00:35:58
Speaker 3: So do I.
00:35:59
Speaker 4: At dinner, let's just talk about happy stuff.
00:36:04
Speaker 3: Whatever you say.
00:36:05
Speaker 4: Tell stories from our lives, but only the happy ones.
00:36:09
Speaker 1: Interior, an upscale restaurant later. Paul and Daniel are seated at their table. Daniel is still looking around like a kid in a candy store. He's eating his steak slowly, cherishing it. However, he notices a few people staring at him. Paul seems somewhere else as he picks at his fish.
00:36:26
Speaker 4: I bet these are the lucky people.
00:36:30
Speaker 1: What?
00:36:31
Speaker 4: I'm glad I went to the shelter last night. I was able to shower and spruce myself up. I wish I could do that every night. Sometimes it's too crowded or there's somebody there that you don't want to see. I don't smell, do I? No. It's my clothes. I just wish some of these people would stop looking at me.
00:36:54
Speaker 3: Fuck them.
00:36:56
Speaker 4: You mean it? Fuck all of you. This is like going to the movies. A total vacation from life. I've only had one vacation. The awful Mr. Corey took me to Key West.
00:37:15
Speaker 3: Who was that?
00:37:16
Speaker 4: Just a man I was with for a while. Ever been there? No. The place was pretty.
00:37:22
Speaker 3: My sister and I only had one vacation when we were kids. It was just before our parents were killed. Car accident.
00:37:29
Speaker 6: Five days in New Mexico. We ended up in Cuesta. A one-street town. Surrounded by mountains. The Sangre de Cristo mountains.
00:37:41
Speaker 3: The blood of Christ. It was sunset. I thought I was in a movie.
00:37:49
Speaker 4: A movie, man. I love it.
00:37:54
Speaker 6: I wonder if over the years I've made the place more special or more beautiful than it really is.
00:38:00
Speaker 3: But in my imagination, there's nothing like it. The colors, the light. When I was a little boy and got scared, I used to close my eyes and picture it.
00:38:11
Speaker 4: Sounds nice. Their steak is wonderful.
00:38:16
Speaker 1: They smile at each other.
00:38:17
Speaker 4: I used to love the movies. My brother knew it. Whenever he had money, he'd take me to the movies I liked. The old ones. Musicals, comedies. With Doris Day, shit like that. I loved those movies. My brother never got it. But it was his gift. His gift to me. Sometimes he'd sleep through the movie. But he never criticized them. Wasn't that great? That's all he'd ever say. Wasn't that great?
00:38:55
Speaker 1: Paul looks at Daniel with so much warmth.
00:38:59
Speaker 4: What are you thinking?
00:39:02
Speaker 3: About you.
00:39:04
Speaker 6: And why, after all these years, I'm thinking about Cuesta. I wonder if it's still the same. It was so peaceful. Maybe I should go there. I told the mother I was leaving the city. I can't afford my apartment anymore since I gave up my job. I only have my sister here. And she's got her own family now, you know, so. I think I might just go there to do what to find if there's any good left in me are.
00:39:37
Speaker 4: You looking to be invisible is that bad I'm sounding like the streets.
00:39:44
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe not.
00:39:46
Speaker 6: Don't be enamored with the streets Couldn't it be a beginning?
00:39:50
Speaker 4: We were supposed to be telling happy stories. Are we out of them?
00:40:00
Speaker 3: I'll think of one.
00:40:01
Speaker 4: Why don't we just sit here and be quiet? Okay?
00:40:07
Speaker 3: Whatever you say.
00:40:10
Speaker 9: Quiet.
00:40:11
Speaker 1: They sit. Paul puts his hand on top of Daniel's and leaves it there for a moment and then takes it away. Daniel then looks around the room. Indeed, the patrons do look like the lucky ones. Or perhaps they're just enjoying being alive. They're chatting, drinking, eating. As the camera pulls away from Paul and Daniel, the crowd seems to be swallowing them up as they sit quietly at their table.
00:40:36
Speaker 8: The End