UDSKRIFT 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:02.988
Hello, lovelies, and welcome to another episode.
00:00:02.988 --> 00:00:05.475
I am so excited for today's topic.
00:00:05.475 --> 00:00:12.871
We are talking about how to reset and change our whole life by changing our patterns.
00:00:12.871 --> 00:00:42.828
I'm going to walk you through three very specific patterns that I usually see playing out in people, in partners specifically, in the relationship and in their life in general, and then I'm going to show you how to deconstruct those patterns, how to reprogram them deprogram them, if you may and then how to create a new set of perspective, views, ways.
00:00:42.828 --> 00:00:48.344
I'm going to show you different things to put in place so that your life could feel very differently fairly quickly.
00:00:48.344 --> 00:00:51.470
Okay, so, without further ado, I'm going to dive right in.
00:00:51.470 --> 00:00:54.906
I'm going to teach you first the three different patterns.
00:00:54.906 --> 00:00:58.136
So the first one is lack.
00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:15.808
Now, I'm sure you're familiar with the concept of feeling like you don't have enough, not being enough, not getting enough, not doing things fast enough, just the not enoughness thing, the lack mentality, nothing's ever good enough, nothing's enough in all of the different ways.
00:01:15.808 --> 00:01:25.132
Now, with this pattern, what happens is that we feel like something's broken, we feel disconnected.
00:01:25.132 --> 00:01:38.415
There's like a separateness, not belonging, not fitting in, not being fully who we want to be, who we think we are or who we would like to be, because we're not in touch with our awesomeness.
00:01:38.415 --> 00:01:54.203
So there's this disconnect there, separateness between our higher self, our awesome core, the core brilliance of who we are and how we experience ourselves and how we show up, and also disconnected from our higher power, from our partner.
00:01:54.203 --> 00:01:57.012
So the whole thing is a big separation and a big disconnect.
00:01:57.012 --> 00:02:09.075
So that creates a sense of feelings of loss and grief and sadness and just not fitting in, feeling alone, lonely, all those kinds of feelings.
00:02:09.075 --> 00:02:23.376
And then, as a result, what we do to deal with those feelings is that we might numb, we might judge, we might worry about what's fair, what's not fair.
00:02:23.376 --> 00:02:36.935
We're very indignant, right, that kind of perspective and experience, and this triggers the flight defense mechanism where we escape, right?
00:02:36.935 --> 00:02:38.282
So the numbing makes sense.
00:02:38.282 --> 00:02:54.830
And however we do that, we might do it by binge watching Netflix, by being on our devices, by numbing with substances, overeating, whatever we do, right, even overworking, over exercising, over shopping, like any of the things.
00:02:54.830 --> 00:02:56.467
This is where the addictions kind of play in.
00:02:58.320 --> 00:03:04.319
So that's pattern number one the lack mentality or the lack ego pattern.
00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:08.034
The lack mentality or the lack ego pattern.
00:03:08.034 --> 00:03:15.286
So and I said it like that because the ego is the one that's creating kind of the stories and the perspective on all of this, the way that we choose to look at things.
00:03:15.286 --> 00:03:23.099
It's going to filter everything, it's going to create our identity and our perspective and our experience, our reality.
00:03:23.099 --> 00:03:29.008
So that's where we're going to use to connect to the next part of today's conversation.
00:03:29.008 --> 00:03:46.552
So that ego pattern of lack has that perspective of not being good enough, not fitting in, nothing's enough, like that kind of stuff and our identity of like, not measuring up, being small, not being valuable, things of that nature.
00:03:46.552 --> 00:03:48.455
Okay, so that's number one.
00:03:49.241 --> 00:03:52.371
The second pattern is the attachment pattern.
00:03:52.371 --> 00:04:10.169
Now, there is a tricky thing with the word attachment when it comes to personal development and this world, and in that we want to be attached, we want to have attachment, we want to have a good attachment, a secure attachment to our loved ones.
00:04:10.169 --> 00:04:14.527
So it's such a thing as we seek attachments on one hand.
00:04:14.527 --> 00:04:23.485
On the other hand, I'm sure that if you've been doing any personal development work, you're familiar with this idea that we want to detach from things, we don't want to cling to stuff.
00:04:23.485 --> 00:04:26.091
So it's two very different concepts.
00:04:26.091 --> 00:04:35.091
We want to have that connection, that attachment, but also we don't want to be attached to things or we don't want to be attached to outcomes.
00:04:35.091 --> 00:04:39.170
So the word attachment is being used in slightly different ways.
00:04:39.170 --> 00:04:47.233
So use your discernment here and in this context we're not using it as the connection aspect of it.
00:04:47.233 --> 00:04:58.115
We're using it as being attached to an outcome, attached to ways things be in a certain way.
00:04:59.319 --> 00:05:09.545
So what happens is that then we want to have things play a certain way, be a certain way, show up a certain way.
00:05:09.545 --> 00:05:11.985
We attach to how things should be.
00:05:11.985 --> 00:05:13.211
We have expectations.
00:05:13.211 --> 00:05:17.882
With that comes all kinds of limitations, number one and number two.
00:05:17.882 --> 00:05:25.725
It creates all kinds of feelings like resentment, letdown, anger, disappointment, those kinds of feelings.
00:05:25.725 --> 00:05:48.244
And then what happens is that we deal with that by becoming demanding, demanding that people apologize, that people owe us things, we own other people, we have poor boundaries, we're all over the place with these things and we have this idea that things should be a certain way and we
Load full transcript
force things in that regard.
00:05:48.244 --> 00:05:58.480
Or we have these expectations and this disappointment and this judgment going on, and the way that we show up with the defenses with this one is the fight right.
00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:02.247
So we assert ourselves too strongly.
00:06:02.247 --> 00:06:03.910
It's almost aggressive.
00:06:03.910 --> 00:06:20.387
It's not necessarily assertive in a good way that we assert over, power over, we control right or we manage, which is a little similar to the next one, but there's a nuance here that I'm going to describe.
00:06:20.769 --> 00:06:23.682
The next one is called pattern.
00:06:23.682 --> 00:06:25.689
Number three is called the control pattern.
00:06:25.689 --> 00:06:33.449
This one has to do with believing that we have to make things happen, so it's not necessarily being attached to an outcome, how things should be.
00:06:33.449 --> 00:06:40.093
Like the first, like the one before, but this one has to do with we have to make things happen.
00:06:40.093 --> 00:06:42.226
We are in charge of everything.
00:06:42.226 --> 00:06:48.348
If it wasn't for us, we are responsible for things, we take on all the people's things.
00:06:48.348 --> 00:06:54.413
This is where the codependence really shows up.
00:06:54.413 --> 00:07:05.456
And with this one the feelings are fear, anxiety, worry, nervousness, like those kinds of feelings.
00:07:05.456 --> 00:07:13.949
And the way that we deal with that is by being controlling, micromanaging, over-functioning, taking care of everything, like that kind of stuff.
00:07:13.949 --> 00:07:20.252
And the defense mechanism that goes with this also is the freeze.
00:07:20.252 --> 00:07:25.910
So if we're controlling, managing, really over-orchestrating, we get ourselves stuck.
00:07:27.533 --> 00:07:33.932
Okay, so those are the three lack, attachment and control.
00:07:33.932 --> 00:07:41.733
And let's see, I think I covered the nuance enough for between attachment and control.
00:07:41.733 --> 00:07:48.850
So attachment again just to make sure that I'm being clear is having an attachment to an outcome.
00:07:48.850 --> 00:07:53.295
Control is about I have to make it happen, right?
00:07:53.295 --> 00:07:59.350
So feeling like you're responsible for it, like it's in your sphere of control.
00:07:59.350 --> 00:08:02.225
The other one is like you have the expectations of others too.
00:08:02.225 --> 00:08:06.088
They could make it happen and you want to be a certain way.
00:08:06.088 --> 00:08:09.649
So that's the little difference there.
00:08:09.649 --> 00:08:11.021
Okay?
00:08:11.021 --> 00:08:22.211
So if those are the three ego patterns, then I'm sure you could probably already see how this plays out in your relationship, right?
00:08:22.211 --> 00:08:24.387
So let's run them through.
00:08:24.620 --> 00:08:30.350
So if I have the lack mentality one, no matter what my husband does, it's never going to be good enough.
00:08:30.350 --> 00:08:44.048
Let's say how he does the chores, what kind of gifts he gives, how he shows up in his parenting, how he dresses, I don't know whatever.
00:08:44.048 --> 00:08:44.308
Right?
00:08:44.308 --> 00:08:48.686
Like, no matter what the partner does, it's never going to be good enough.
00:08:48.686 --> 00:08:50.706
There's always something that we could find faults with.
00:08:50.706 --> 00:08:52.647
It's never they're never going to measure up.
00:08:52.647 --> 00:08:57.788
That's the lens that we're keeping on, and not just of the other person, but also of ourselves.
00:08:57.788 --> 00:08:59.399
So the same thing for us, right?
00:08:59.399 --> 00:09:15.392
No matter how much what we do and how much we do, it's never good enough and we feel like we could have done more, that we could have done it better that it didn't fully land, that it didn't fully click, that we didn't do enough, that what we do is not good enough, those kinds of things.
00:09:15.392 --> 00:09:32.892
With that one I'm sure you could imagine the state of being that we would be in in a constant state of loss, like we never have what we need Loneliness, not good enoughness, just sad.
00:09:33.961 --> 00:09:50.216
And then we deal with that by, however we deal with that, the attachment one, when we are attached to the outcomes, we want things done a certain way, by a certain time, our way.
00:09:50.216 --> 00:10:03.163
We are entitled we all know the people like this is how people should behave, this is what's appropriate, this is what people should do.
00:10:03.163 --> 00:10:04.207
This is what you should do for me.
00:10:04.207 --> 00:10:07.815
This is what I should be getting right, like that kind of stuff.
00:10:07.815 --> 00:10:09.561
This is what my partner should be doing for me.
00:10:09.561 --> 00:10:10.764
This is what a husband does.
00:10:10.764 --> 00:10:17.581
My husband should take out the garbage every night by eight o'clock.
00:10:17.581 --> 00:10:23.865
I'm just making this stuff up so that kind of like really attached to how things should be.
00:10:25.807 --> 00:10:37.616
And then with the control, that one's a little trickier because then, because we know that we can't get what we want, then we do it, we overdo it, right.
00:10:37.616 --> 00:10:43.674
So we make sure the garbage goes out, or we nag the heck out of our husband's partners to go do it.
00:10:43.674 --> 00:10:44.259
Right, we're on top of it.
00:10:44.259 --> 00:10:47.726
I suppose we just that's their chore, chore that's for them to take care of.
00:10:47.726 --> 00:10:51.701
Like we are overseeing or managing, over, orchestrating.
00:10:51.701 --> 00:11:04.826
Um, they might do a chore and we go behind and fixing it or redoing it, or we didn't even ask for help because we do it better, so we do it all.
00:11:04.826 --> 00:11:11.755
But so when we operate from that place and we are fearful that we're going to be laid down, then we step into it.
00:11:11.755 --> 00:11:13.360
We're constantly doing it.
00:11:13.380
--> 00:11:19.511
This is where the overwhelm, the anxiety, the stress, the chaos, all that stuff kind of comes in, because it's too much.
00:11:19.511 --> 00:11:24.048
Right, we can't take care of all, and then it takes a toll.
00:11:24.048 --> 00:11:26.024
Right, we can't take care of all, and then it takes a toll.
00:11:26.024 --> 00:11:30.613
So that's just more, more targeted or more applied to how it might show up in your relationship.
00:11:30.613 --> 00:11:47.336
And so what happens is that when we have those scripts and those stories playing out and those, those way of processing the field, those filters, processing our experience, that's what we see Right, if that's how we look at things.
00:11:47.336 --> 00:11:49.461
That's what we see right, if that's how we look at things.
00:11:49.461 --> 00:11:50.485
That's the reality that we're creating.
00:11:50.504 --> 00:11:53.893
Somebody else might look at the same thing very differently and not even see what you're talking about.
00:11:53.893 --> 00:11:55.466
Very common, right?
00:11:55.466 --> 00:12:03.803
So I work with so many couples and I hear so many stories that it's really funny when one couple might be okay with another couple's totally not okay with.
00:12:03.803 --> 00:12:06.047
It's really funny, like when one couple might be okay with another couple's totally not okay with.
00:12:06.047 --> 00:12:18.740
So like I see it play out by just comparing couples and also within the couple, right Between the partners, what gets me might not necessarily get my husband and vice versa for sure, right?
00:12:18.740 --> 00:12:31.490
So what we want to do with this is be aware of what our filter is, see if we could identify which one of these patterns plays out for us.
00:12:31.490 --> 00:12:40.374
We could have one or all three of them, and then what we want to do is kind of take a step back and take a look at this.
00:12:41.259 --> 00:12:42.664
Okay, so these are my patterns.
00:12:42.664 --> 00:12:45.879
Or this is my pattern, or this is my prevalent pattern.
00:12:45.879 --> 00:12:46.432
Probably have a little bit of all three.
00:12:46.432 --> 00:12:47.250
Or this is my pattern, or this is my prevalent pattern.
00:12:47.250 --> 00:12:49.995
Probably have a little bit of all three, but this is my main one, my go-to.
00:12:49.995 --> 00:13:02.005
And if that's my pattern, how is that informing my identity and how I show up and how I filter everything and how I'm creating my reality?
00:13:02.005 --> 00:13:04.589
Bam people, right.
00:13:04.589 --> 00:13:17.259
And then, if that's my identity, what kind of and that's the reality that's being created what kind of circumstances am I living in?
00:13:17.259 --> 00:13:20.644
I'm sorry if that was a two by two.
00:13:20.644 --> 00:13:24.309
This is how we create life.
00:13:24.309 --> 00:13:26.172
This is how we create our life.
00:13:28.254 --> 00:13:40.226
So let me say that again, the patterns that we have, the ego patterns, the defenses, how
we choose to look at those things, those three things that I mentioned created a filter.
00:13:40.226 --> 00:13:45.975
That's how we experience and perceive our life and our interactions and our situations.
00:13:45.975 --> 00:13:53.013
Therefore, that set of perception and experiences creates our reality.
00:13:53.013 --> 00:13:57.089
That's what our reality is, which then, in turn, inform our circumstances.
00:13:57.089 --> 00:13:57.870
What are we creating?
00:13:57.870 --> 00:13:58.592
What is our life like?
00:13:58.592 --> 00:14:04.431
So now, that's part one of what I wanted to present.
00:14:05.081 --> 00:14:06.145
Now we're going to go into part two.
00:14:06.145 --> 00:14:15.386
If that's the case, what do we not like about our current reality, our circumstances?
00:14:15.386 --> 00:14:17.306
Do we want a better job?
00:14:17.306 --> 00:14:20.368
Do we want something different in our relationship?
00:14:20.368 --> 00:14:24.630
Do we want something different from our fitness, from our wellness, from our health?
00:14:24.630 --> 00:14:25.527
Do we want something different from our fitness, from our wellness, from our health.
00:14:25.527 --> 00:14:27.684
Do we want something different in our home?
00:14:27.684 --> 00:14:31.302
Do we want something different in the impact that we have in the world?
00:14:31.302 --> 00:14:35.071
Like, what are some other things that might come up?
00:14:35.071 --> 00:14:37.663
How do we want to improve our circumstances?
00:14:38.605 --> 00:14:43.621
So then, the next piece would be to identify that, like, if this is my reality, how do I step it up?
00:14:43.621 --> 00:14:44.722
What is the next level for me?
00:14:44.722 --> 00:14:46.306
Like, what would I want it to be?
00:14:46.306 --> 00:14:54.826
Like, okay, and then from that with this higher reality, if that is the reality that I want.
00:14:54.826 --> 00:14:57.758
This is the tricky part, right?
00:14:57.758 --> 00:15:02.321
Who do I need to be to be able to create that?
00:15:02.321 --> 00:15:04.575
Would I have the same patterns?
00:15:04.575 --> 00:15:08.296
No, I wouldn't, because if I had those patterns, I wouldn't be able to create that reality.
00:15:08.296 --> 00:15:10.673
So that's the trick, right, we have to change those patterns.
00:15:10.673 --> 00:15:11.477
That's what we're getting to.
00:15:11.477 --> 00:15:19.629
And so, if this is the desired reality, what kind of person would create that kind of reality?
00:15:19.629 --> 00:15:21.015
How would I want to be?
00:15:21.015 --> 00:15:23.378
How would I have to be to be able to create that?
00:15:23.378 --> 00:15:44.759
So what I would want you to do when we finish listening to this, or as we go, if you're watching this video, recording audio, whatever you could pause it and then just follow those prompts right, journal a little bit, or just ponder and think about the answer to what I'm asking.
00:15:44.759 --> 00:15:48.595
And okay, this is the circumstances, this is what I want to change.
00:15:48.595 --> 00:15:50.197
This will be the desired reality.
00:15:50.197 --> 00:15:54.217
If that is desired reality, who would I need to be to be able to create that?
00:15:54.217 --> 00:15:55.696
That's what we're playing with right now.
00:15:55.696 --> 00:16:00.937
If that's what we want to create, then that's what I would have to become right.
00:16:00.937 --> 00:16:02.318
So think about it in that way.
00:16:02.318 --> 00:16:05.350
Now we're going to juice this up Ready.
00:16:05.389 --> 00:16:22.625
Next level of that is if my future self came to visit me, what advice, suggestions, hacks, inspiration, observations would it make and offer?
00:16:22.625 --> 00:16:24.986
What would they tell me to do differently?
00:16:24.986 --> 00:16:28.018
What would they say girl, you got to be done with that.
00:16:28.018 --> 00:16:29.100
That's not going to get you anywhere.
00:16:29.100 --> 00:16:33.038
To get to where we got, this is what I did different back then.
00:16:33.038 --> 00:16:35.452
This is what you need to do to be able to get here now.
00:16:35.452 --> 00:16:44.248
Right, assuming that your future self got where you wanted to get, right, assuming that your future self got where you want it to get.
00:16:44.248 --> 00:16:47.533
So the future self from the desired reality, let's put it that way.
00:16:47.533 --> 00:16:48.456
So then we don't mess ourselves up.
00:16:48.456 --> 00:16:52.514
So that future self is going to give you advice, so what you need to do now to be able to create the thing that you want.
00:16:52.514 --> 00:16:53.937
So now we're going to combine.
00:16:53.937 --> 00:16:55.551
Okay, who do I think I need to be?
00:16:55.551 --> 00:17:11.825
Plus, the future self is going to come to visit us and tell us right, so we're going to play with that information we have to think about, okay, so what does that mean for me for today, for the next near future?
00:17:11.825 --> 00:17:13.757
Like, what are the changes that I need to make?
00:17:13.757 --> 00:17:16.218
So all of that is part two of today.
00:17:17.411 --> 00:17:20.938
So the first part was identifying the patterns.
00:17:20.938 --> 00:17:28.582
The second part is assessing the realities, where we are, what kind of circumstances we have, what do we want to change?
00:17:28.582 --> 00:17:29.811
What do we want to create?
00:17:29.811 --> 00:17:32.558
Who do we want to become?
00:17:32.558 --> 00:17:34.323
Who do we have to become to make that happen?
00:17:34.323 --> 00:17:46.779
Our future self is going to juice us up and give us some tips and hints to help us up, to help us out, and then we're going to go create the new reality.
00:17:46.779 --> 00:17:48.616
So that's part three of today Ready.
00:17:48.616 --> 00:17:50.056
So we're going to dive into that right now.
00:17:51.930 --> 00:18:06.540
So, after you did all of that, after you played with, paused, you thought about this, you journaled, whatever you had to do to kind of get into that state, even
if you had to meditate on this, kick it around, massage it, so, really sit with.
00:18:06.540 --> 00:18:08.971
Oh, these are my patterns, this is what I'm creating.
00:18:08.971 --> 00:18:11.577
This is why my reality is, this is my perceptions.
00:18:11.577 --> 00:18:23.994
That's the reality that they're creating this big identity that I have right now about myself and my situation, and this is what I want to create and this is who I need to become to be able to create that.
00:18:23.994 --> 00:18:34.182
And this is the suggestion, the hint, the tip that my future self gave me Wow.
00:18:34.182 --> 00:18:34.782
So now, what?
00:18:34.782 --> 00:18:36.855
So now we're going to go create it.
00:18:36.855 --> 00:18:40.798
We're going to use all the information that we have.
00:18:40.798 --> 00:18:44.563
What's the reality that we want to create and who do we need to become?
00:18:44.563 --> 00:18:45.508
We're going to marry that.
00:18:45.508 --> 00:18:46.550
We're going to create something.
00:18:46.791 --> 00:18:47.914
So the first thing, is this ready?
00:18:47.914 --> 00:18:55.875
Okay, so, if this is who I need to become, what does that mean?
00:18:55.875 --> 00:18:57.839
What kind of identity is that?
00:18:57.839 --> 00:19:01.450
And to make this fun, to make this funner, what kind of identity is that?
00:19:01.450 --> 00:19:06.863
And to make this fun, to make this funner, we could give that new identity, that alter ego, a name.
00:19:06.863 --> 00:19:19.401
So think about okay, so if I were to be this kind of person, what would be the title for that version of myself, for that identity.
00:19:19.401 --> 00:19:20.474
What do I want to name it?
00:19:20.474 --> 00:19:23.470
Right?
00:19:23.470 --> 00:19:28.823
So our last name is vikluchi, so part of mine has gucci in it, so you could kind of see where I'm going with that, right?
00:19:28.823 --> 00:19:30.392
So hey, you know.
00:19:30.392 --> 00:19:40.034
So just bring some, put something fun in there, step it up a notch and think of the superheroes, too, out there, right?
00:19:40.034 --> 00:19:40.275
So they.
00:19:40.275 --> 00:19:49.215
So they have those alter selves, their new version of themselves, the version that has the powers, right?
00:19:49.215 --> 00:19:50.019
So something like that.
00:19:50.019 --> 00:19:52.317
So, get creative, make it fun.
00:19:52.317 --> 00:20:01.420
So the new version of me, my alter ego, is this, so name it something cool, fun, interesting, exciting.
00:20:02.241 --> 00:20:04.954
And what are all the characteristics of this new version of you?
00:20:04.954 --> 00:20:21.762
Slash, this other version of you because, as you probably already know, we have a lot of parts to ourselves, different aspects that we access, don't access, and we show up with different versions of ourselves.
00:20:21.762 --> 00:20:31.182
And so the version of you that you want to show up with more and that you want to continue to develop, what's the name for that version, for that
part?
00:20:31.182 --> 00:20:34.820
What is the alter ego name?
00:20:34.820 --> 00:20:43.683
So then, what are all the characteristics of that part, or all that new version of you, that new identity?
00:20:43.683 --> 00:20:45.311
What do they do?
00:20:45.311 --> 00:20:46.295
How do they dress?
00:20:46.295 --> 00:20:47.217
How do they speak?
00:20:47.217 --> 00:20:48.138
What are they like?
00:20:48.138 --> 00:20:49.080
How do they show up?
00:20:49.080 --> 00:20:50.063
How do they behave?
00:20:50.063 --> 00:20:51.875
What kind of things are they like?
00:20:51.875 --> 00:20:53.376
How do they step up their wardrobe?
00:20:53.376 --> 00:20:54.971
How do they do their daily routine differently?
00:20:54.971 --> 00:20:55.653
You see New version, new identity.
00:20:55.653 --> 00:20:56.472
What does this new person do?
00:20:56.472 --> 00:20:58.336
How are they their daily routine differently?
00:20:58.336 --> 00:21:02.740
You see, new version, new identity.
00:21:02.740 --> 00:21:04.383
What does this new person do?
00:21:04.383 --> 00:21:05.163
How do they?
00:21:05.163 --> 00:21:05.845
Who are they?
00:21:05.845 --> 00:21:06.545
How do they show up?
00:21:06.545 --> 00:21:07.185
How do they speak?
00:21:07.185 --> 00:21:10.474
Who are they?
00:21:10.474 --> 00:21:13.481
Right, and so develop that, have fun, right?
00:21:17.269 --> 00:21:23.852
So if the new version of the new identity is a sporty person, does the sporty person sit on the couch watching TV five hours a day?
00:21:23.852 --> 00:21:25.275
Probably not, right?
00:21:25.275 --> 00:21:26.278
So what do they do differently?
00:21:26.278 --> 00:21:35.693
Not that you do that and not that I do that, but I'm just saying, like, that's an example, right, like a couch potato doesn't go with a sporty or adventurous person.
00:21:35.693 --> 00:21:41.602
So what does a sporty, adventurous person do?
00:21:41.602 --> 00:21:50.045
What kind of activities do they have after work, or before work, or maybe for lifestyle, for, for, for work?
00:21:50.045 --> 00:21:55.118
Maybe that's part of their work, maybe maybe you change careers and to do something to that effect, right?
00:21:55.118 --> 00:21:59.738
So this, this is the universe, is the limit here anything.
00:21:59.738 --> 00:22:01.502
This could apply to anything, however you like.
00:22:04.516 --> 00:22:21.440
So to go along with that, let's say that the new version of you is a more laid-back, relaxed, easygoing, more feminine person, as opposed to the go go, go, go, go getter and aggressive and assertive and go make things happen kind of person.
00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:24.057
But would that version do differently?
00:22:24.057 --> 00:22:25.896
How would they structure that day differently?
00:22:25.896 --> 00:22:27.856
How would they dress differently?
00:22:27.856 --> 00:22:40.116
How would they speak differently, interact differently, subscribe to things differently, right, like commitments and things that they do and things that they entertain, things that they allow or that they engage in?
00:22:40.116 --> 00:22:48.251
You see, very different.
00:22:48.251 --> 00:22:49.096
So create your new version of you.
00:22:49.175 --> 00:23:02.319
And I don't know if you've heard me in the past Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing what I say in podcasts and what I say in our membership, but you might have heard me in some contexts say things like that we're a big old habit, so everything about us is a habit.
00:23:02.319 --> 00:23:05.758
We make the choices and we do it over and over and over and over again.
00:23:05.758 --> 00:23:14.980
So I'm asking you now to do the opposite make different choices and then we're going to do those over and over and over again until you're that version of yourself more consistently.
00:23:14.980 --> 00:23:15.601
And that's who you are.
00:23:15.601 --> 00:23:17.913
That's who you become right.
00:23:17.913 --> 00:23:29.680
And another way to look at this is that we already are amazing and radiant and fabulous, our core self, the beingness that we are.
00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:30.903
It's already amazing.
00:23:31.570 --> 00:23:47.541
But we put all these things, patterns and habits and ways of being on ourself that cover our radiance, who we really are, and we show up with this limited, ego-based, fear-based version of ourselves.
00:23:47.541 --> 00:23:59.423
And so what we're doing right now is we're deconstructing and peeling all the muckiness and we are showing up with our radiance more right.
00:23:59.423 --> 00:24:04.936
So this is the next fun part how do we get rid of all that muck?
00:24:04.936 --> 00:24:06.536
How do we change all the patterns?
00:24:06.536 --> 00:24:10.641
How do we undo the current identity that was so ingrained?
00:24:10.641 --> 00:24:12.557
This is who we think we are right.
00:24:12.557 --> 00:24:24.092
We've done it so much, every second of every minute, of every hour, of every everything of our life, that we think that this is who we are, but it isn't.
00:24:24.092 --> 00:24:30.651
This is the construction, so we could create something different and the way to change that.
00:24:32.354 --> 00:24:50.282
We're going to be tricky about this, because if we just go about like, I'm going to do all this stuff differently, right, so the thing that we just designed and we try to implement it, it's not going to be so easy, just like that, because it's not ingrained yet, it's not a pattern, it's not a habit yet, right?
00:24:50.282 --> 00:24:52.257
So we're going to automatically default to what we know.
00:24:52.257 --> 00:24:56.513
And so the ego is going to be like oh heck, no, we're not going to let it go that easily.
00:24:56.513 --> 00:24:57.174
What are you talking about this?
00:24:57.174 --> 00:24:59.798
The ego is going to be like oh heck, no, we're not going to let go of that easily.
00:24:59.798 --> 00:25:00.778
What are you talking about?
00:25:00.778 --> 00:25:01.880
This is the death of me.
00:25:01.880 -->
00:25:03.362
I don't want to die.
00:25:03.362 --> 00:25:04.844
This is who I am.
00:25:04.844 --> 00:25:06.605
I can't be something different.
00:25:06.605 --> 00:25:12.692
That's what the ego will say and will sabotage your efforts.
00:25:12.692 --> 00:25:15.575
It wouldn't let you integrate or implement something else.
00:25:16.816 --> 00:25:29.417
And so we're going to go behind the scenes and undo the patterns and the habits in a different way, so the ego doesn't realize that you're doing it.
00:25:29.417 --> 00:25:32.460
So we're not going to go heads to heads with the ego and fight.
00:25:32.460 --> 00:25:35.397
We're not going to say, well, we're not going to talk like this anymore.
00:25:35.397 --> 00:25:40.624
We're going to talk like this now yes, that's nice in theory, but hard to do.
00:25:40.624 --> 00:25:43.876
And yes, we could be intentional.
00:25:43.876 --> 00:25:49.934
Yes, we could show up differently with intentionality every day and mindfulness and all the things that I talk about all the time.
00:25:49.934 --> 00:25:52.650
So, of course we could do it, but that's a lot of work, right?
00:25:52.650 --> 00:25:54.497
So we had to be on all the time.
00:25:54.497 --> 00:26:05.520
We could do that and be more easy about it, but then we could also go behind the doors and undo stuff underneath, if you may.
00:26:07.550 --> 00:26:40.516
And what that looks like is that we're going to deprogram the patterns in a way that the ego doesn't know that we're doing it, so we're not going to go confront it and fight with it about what we're doing every minute of the day, but we're going to go through the back door and we're going to do the things and the ego is going to be like oh, before you know it, a new pattern is in place and the ego didn't even realize it that we changed it.
00:26:40.516 --> 00:26:49.369
And so what I created for this is a way of disrupting or interrupting patterns, behaviors and things that we normally do, so that by doing that, we automatically are deprogramming.
00:26:49.369 --> 00:26:56.250
Doing that we automatically are deprogramming all this stuff that normally would drive our patterns, our behaviors, our routines.
00:26:56.250 --> 00:26:58.472
Let me say that a little bit better.
00:26:58.472 --> 00:26:59.714
We are wired a certain way.
00:26:59.714 --> 00:27:09.214
We have behaviors, we have speech mannerisms, we have thought patterns, we have all kinds of patterns, everything, like I said before, everything's a pattern, everything's a habit.
00:27:09.234 --> 00:27:33.878
So if we start doing things differently I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you in a second where I'm getting at with this if we start doing things differently and undoing that pattern, putting a different patterning in place, that where we're getting rewired, different aspects of us show up to deal with a change and different thought patterns have to come up.
00:27:33.878 --> 00:27:37.601
Different things show up, different feelings, different things
that we have to do.
00:27:37.601 --> 00:27:49.817
Our body might need to move differently, we might have to stretch in particular ways in our either routines or in how we do things, or in what we're doing with our bodies or how we're thinking about something.
00:27:49.817 --> 00:27:59.135
And in all of those micro changes we're deconstructing the old structure, you see, and we're de-patterning.
00:27:59.135 --> 00:28:11.910
So we're not going for the ego, we are slowly melting it down, if you may, or reforming it to suit us to the new identity.
00:28:11.910 --> 00:28:41.443
And so the mechanism for doing this this might sound complicated, maybe, but so I created a fun, easy way to do this so that we could de-pattern in a fun way, without doing all this cycle babble, all this hard, potentially hard work, and that is by doing a 30-day challenge, let's say, or a 90-day challenge, whatever flows your boat, or 75 hard or 75 medium or 75 soft, whatever right, look them up.
00:28:41.443 --> 00:28:59.663
If you're not familiar with Any kind of challenge that you institute will help you focus on something else, go about that thing differently and access different parts of you to be able to accomplish the thing.
00:28:59.663 --> 00:29:12.758
So even the most minute of challenges that you choose to do will trigger different aspects of you to be able to stay on task, to be able to twist yourself, to do this new thing.
00:29:12.758 --> 00:29:27.138
And in that there's the deep patterning and in that you're bypassing your ego, like I was saying before, and you're setting yourself up to be able to install that new identity that we just created Bam.
00:29:28.401 --> 00:29:30.983
So a couple of things with this.
00:29:30.983 --> 00:29:35.422
I want you to check out the 30-day challenges list that I created.
00:29:35.422 --> 00:29:53.273
Go to my website and I also am going to put a link in the show notes in the description here, which is the 30 day challenges list, so you could subscribe to that.
00:29:53.273 --> 00:29:54.699
You could download it.
00:29:54.699 --> 00:30:14.499
It's a one sheet that gives you, I think, 50 options of challenges, and they go from as simple as I'm cutting out sugar or sweets to something else, whatever, like more complicated, and so you can make your own, but it's fun to look at a list of ideas, why not?
00:30:14.499 --> 00:30:16.776
So you can check that out.
00:30:16.776 --> 00:30:20.797
And plus it comes with a prescription of how to play with this sheet and these ideas and this concept.
00:30:20.797 --> 00:30:25.994
So you get a little email sequence to help you along to install this and play with this idea.
00:30:25.994 --> 00:30:40.010
So that's one thing, or you could look up challenges anywhere else, but the idea is to play with the challenge because that's the easiest way to kind of go, deconstructing things and paving the way for something else to be installed.
00:30:40.030 --> 00:30:41.892
Okay, so that's how you're interrupting the patterns.
00:30:41.892 --> 00:30:58.624
So that's how you're interrupting the patterns, deconstructing and creating that space, that malleable substance, so that rewiring could happen and new things could be installed, a new software, into your hardware, if you may.
00:30:58.624 --> 00:31:01.205
Now you could say OK.
00:31:01.205 --> 00:31:04.428
So all the parts of me are more open.
00:31:04.428 --> 00:31:08.614
Now I'm receptive to creating something different.
00:31:08.614 --> 00:31:09.916
You see, this is where we're getting to.
00:31:09.936 --> 00:31:19.703
This is the third fun part, and that is that now you say okay.
00:31:19.703 --> 00:31:24.954
So if this is the side of reality that I want to create, then what do I need to put in place to create that reality, aside from who I need to be?
00:31:24.954 --> 00:31:37.721
You see, this part has to do with actually taking the action steps to make the new reality come true or for it to manifest more easily in the concrete part of it.
00:31:37.721 --> 00:31:42.520
And so you're going to say, okay, so my desired reality is this.
00:31:42.520 --> 00:31:48.172
You're going to flesh it all out what are the aspects of this new reality, of this new circumstances?
00:31:48.172 --> 00:31:50.037
What do things look like?
00:31:50.037 --> 00:31:51.318
What changes do you have to make?
00:31:51.318 --> 00:31:53.531
Do you have to do anything to your home?
00:31:53.531 --> 00:31:54.976
Do you have to do anything at work?
00:31:54.976 --> 00:32:07.423
Anything with your team, anything with your services, anything with your parenting, anything with your physical appearance, with your health, with your hobbies, with your interests, with your community, with your environments, whatever, I don't know, whatever's in your life?
00:32:07.423 --> 00:32:16.170
So go through all the things that would be different and, like I usually like to say, we're not going to do all of the things in one shot, right?
00:32:16.170 --> 00:32:31.664
So first capture everything and then narrow it down to two things that you want to target and what are the next action steps in each one of those things that you could take to start creating the flavor of that aspect in your new reality.
00:32:31.664 --> 00:32:45.625
So you're going to map out what this new life look like what would things look like, and start taking steps toward making things happen, and start with just two areas, so it's not overwhelming, alrighty.
00:32:45.625 --> 00:32:50.519
So I hope that that made sense.
00:32:50.961 --> 00:33:08.645
So we're deconstructing that, we're de-patterning and, by the way, I like to do this work in the month of June, which is the month of Father's Day, and it has to do with being disciplined and structured and having systems right.
00:33:08.645 --> 00:33:11.719
So that's a translation of fathering.
00:33:11.719 --> 00:33:18.396
So fathers usually the fathering, the masculine energy, could be moms doing that too, right?
00:33:18.396 --> 00:33:36.324
So the masculine parts of the caregivers to ourselves and our children provide the masculine aspects and characteristics, and those have to do with discipline, with structure, with systems, with methodology, right.
00:33:36.324 --> 00:33:37.375
So how do we do things?
00:33:37.375 --> 00:33:43.903
And that's what we're giving to ourselves this month to re-father ourselves.
00:33:43.903 --> 00:33:59.938
So whatever things we didn't get growing up that had to do with security, with stability, with safety, and we have wounds around those, by doing this work that I just offered, we're giving that to ourselves right.
00:33:59.938 --> 00:34:02.683
We create the routines, we create the patterns.
00:34:02.683 --> 00:34:08.181
They're not dictated by some phantom subconscious thing that's driving our lives.
00:34:08.181 --> 00:34:09.275
We're going to take charge of it.
00:34:09.275 --> 00:34:22.260
So we're going to deprogram all that stuff and we can create what we want and we're going to give ourselves the structure, the discipline, the stability, the security, the safety by us doing something consistently through the challenges.
00:34:22.260 --> 00:34:22.601
You see.
00:34:22.601 --> 00:34:29.860
So a very simple, fun activity way of doing this work.
00:34:29.860 --> 00:34:31.664
That's doing all kinds of things.
00:34:32.070 --> 00:34:39.202
You're doing all the healing behind the scenes, at the deeper level, with the re-fathering, re-parenting yourself from the with the masculine energy.
00:34:39.202 --> 00:34:47.362
So re-parenting by doing re-fathering plus, we're making it practical.
00:34:47.362 --> 00:34:51.981
We're actually creating something that's the result of the changes that we're doing.
00:34:51.981 --> 00:34:55.440
So we're working underneath with the healing.
00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:57.856
We're working at the top with the practical, with deep patterning.
00:34:57.856 --> 00:34:58.719
We're changing our whole life.
00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:00.536
So, bam, there we go.
00:35:00.536 --> 00:35:04.349
That's what I promised at the beginning of this episode.
00:35:04.349 --> 00:35:05.635
We're going to repattern, reset.
00:35:05.635 --> 00:35:07.315
We're going to change our whole life and we're getting ready for the beginning of this episode.
00:35:07.315 --> 00:35:07.599
We're going to repattern, reset.
00:35:07.599 --> 00:35:10.704
We're going to change our whole life and we're getting ready for part two of this year.
00:35:10.704 --> 00:35:11.489
So that's what we're doing.
00:35:11.489 --> 00:35:19.077
We're repatterning so that we create something new, reset the whole thing with something as fun as just 30 data challenges.
00:35:19.789 --> 00:35:34.516
Now, if you think that you need support with this, our membership has pretty cool deep masterclasses and deep dives that help you address all of the fears, all the patterns emotional and mental right.
00:35:34.516 --> 00:35:46.496
So the mind and the heart, the emotional body and the mental body, the thinking patterns, the emotional patterns, however you, whatever language you want to use with this and the masculine the.
00:35:46.496 --> 00:36:05.177
We have the dual work there for that and we go deep into the patterning, into the changing the things, and it has a bunch of practices, a bunch of exercises, worksheets, workbooks, beautiful workbooks to help you do the work, videos and the membership.
00:36:05.177 --> 00:36:08.019
You have access to those right off the bat.
00:36:08.019 --> 00:36:12.211
You have access to everything, but those are the ones that will be applicable to what we're talking about today.
00:36:12.211 --> 00:36:22.601
And you get our monthly videos and all of the emails, weekly emails to support your journey, to give you homework for the weekend, all kinds of yummy stuff.
00:36:23.030 --> 00:36:28.670
So if this resonates and if you want additional support, feel free to just subscribe to us.
00:36:28.670 --> 00:36:35.335
Only $29 a month, you get all of this deeper work that you could do at your own pace and your own time and you have access to all of our content.
00:36:35.335 --> 00:36:41.596
And if you want more, more personal, of course, we're here to do the individual work as well.
00:36:41.596 --> 00:36:45.972
You could check out working with us privately.
00:36:45.972 --> 00:36:48.739
You could just start with an initial session and see if we're a good fit.
00:36:48.739 --> 00:36:50.675
All right, so that's there for you.
00:36:50.675 --> 00:37:00.760
I'm also going to put all the resources in the again show notes description so you could see all the blog posts, access the challenge, maybe some of the videos.
00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:04.336
I'll see what we have that's free that you could access now to support you.
00:37:05.079 --> 00:37:07.056
Okay, my loves, hopefully that was helpful.
00:37:07.056 --> 00:37:08.416
That was a whole process.
00:37:08.416 --> 00:37:18.483
That's like a whole process, so you're welcome, hope you enjoyed it and I hope that you play with this.
00:37:18.483 --> 00:37:32.302
Give it a good shot so that you'll see the benefit of reprogramming everything and setting yourself up for an amazing second part of this year and a beautiful reset, a new beginning all around.
00:37:32.302 --> 00:37:34.556
Okay, have a fabulous one.
00:37:34.556 --> 00:37:35.818
I will see you at the next one.
00:37:35.818 --> 00:37:36.784
Bye.