Fullstendig transkripsjon av Your Body Will Demand The Grief You Avoid, "Cracking Open" with the Incredible Molly Carroll

psyche, my whatever you want to call it, your identity of truly being around people, um, curious of their truth, you know, not just the pretty and popular. 00:04:55.600 --> 00:04:57.920 And how can I be of service? 00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:03.759 How, and it's not meaning that I'm I have this ego-less identity because I don't, I definitely have an ego. 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:07.519 But um, that was just kind of how it's led me on the path. 00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:16.399 And then, you know, many other things that you shared since I was a teacher, moving on as a therapist and author and a podcaster and a mom and friend and things like that. 00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:20.240 But I would say it's truly like I have this internal compass. 00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:27.920 I've always been really curious of the internal experience in people, but how we express it externally. 00:05:28.560 --> 00:05:38.160 You know, how we how we show up for people and how we communicate with people and how we show up as a friend or um in our in our relationships. 00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:39.040 Yeah. 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:41.360 I love that so much. 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:48.800 I find myself too, I my mom used to say all the time, she's like, Why do you have so many questions? 00:05:49.439 --> 00:05:52.959 But I'm just, I really am just so curious. 00:05:53.199 --> 00:06:04.079 I love knowing where people come from, like how they feel about things, why they feel about things the way they do, like what experiences assisted that, you know. 00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:32.319 Um and I guess I kind of want to ask you, you know, as we go through life, we obviously have our own life experiences and um things that take place that kind of shape us into the person we are, and I think sometimes end up changing our perspective on uh what we think and feel about other people, maybe, or other people's pain, uh, other people's experiences. 00:06:33.199 --> 00:06:36.399 And there's some mention of some grief that you've been through. 00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:38.319 Could you expand a little bit on that? 00:06:38.720 --> 00:06:40.079 Yes, I know. 00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:42.800 We always you know that saying it was like the cross you had to bear. 00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:44.800 You know, everyone has their cross, they have to bear. 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:45.360 Right. 00:06:45.519 --> 00:06:48.399 Um, mine has been death. 00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:50.639 And it didn't come right away. 00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:51.920 It's not like I had a lot of death. 00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:58.720 I mean, I lost someone in my eighth grade year, a fellow student who had a terminal disease for most of his life. 00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:20.079 And that was my first experience with death, and then my grandparents, and but then I kind of coasted through high school and college and after college, and I was, you know, kind of a ski bum and moved lived overseas and then moved to San Francisco and lived, you know, traveled all over and um and then ultimately ended in Bend, Oregon. 00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:25.040 But it it started to happen um when I was in my early 30s. 00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:32.639 My father started to get sick through a heart attack and strokes, and um, my father was very near and dear to me. 00:07:32.720 --> 00:07:35.680 I mean, my family was far from perfect, but there was a lot of love. 00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:46.800 I would say there's a lot of love, a lot of laughter, and a lot of faith, you know, like they, you know, it was they were based in faith, and there was a lot of love and a lot of laughter, but there's, you know, there's a lot of other stuff going on too. 00:07:46.879 --> 00:07:48.879 But my dad was very special to me. 00:07:48.959 --> 00:07:58.160 And um, sadly, he had a stroke, and then we brought him back to life, and then he had another stroke, and ultimately um he passed away. 00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:02.560 And so I was in late 30s, early 40s when my dad died. 00:08:02.720 --> 00:08:07.920 And it just I had young kids, it just kind of rocked me in my core, even though I wasn't like 20. 00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:12.399 It still felt like too young to lose um your father. 00:08:12.639 --> 00:08:19.920 And year before that, a dear friend of mine's husband suddenly passed away as well from suicide, which was a total shock. 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:23.600 I was with him two days before, and I'm a therapist and had no idea. 00:08:23.920 --> 00:08:25.759 And she's one of my closest people. 00:08:25.920 --> 00:08:32.639 So we lost Jason, we lost my dad, and then within like a year and a half, I lost seven people in my life. 00:08:32.720 --> 00:08:44.559 I left two grandparents and an aunt and an uncle and another friend and um from cancer, and it's just kind of rocked me my core. 00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:48.080 Best news ever. 00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:51.279 Hurry up, write these dates down right away. 00:08:51.440 --> 00:08:55.360 April 30th, May 1st, and May 2nd of 2027. 00:08:55.840 --> 00:08:58.480 Come join us in Bend, Oregon. 00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:01.519 We are having a beautiful retreat. 00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:03.200 It is called Unbound. 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:08.960 Spirit brought this in and has been so persistent about making every single thing happen. 00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:17.120 The land from Ben literally called me to come, and all of these amazing pieces have magically come together. 00:09:17.279 --> 00:09:21.919 Wait until I tell you like the entire story, which I will tell you the first night we are there. 00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:29.919 How every piece, oh my gosh, just synchronistically, the frequency, the oh, it's so amazing. 00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:30.960 I'm so excited. 00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:31.759 I'm so excited. 00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:33.519 I can't wait to hug all of you. 00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:48.960 I can't wait for all of you women to be surrounded by all these other women holding all of you in this sacred space and empowering you,

like bringing that inner person out of you with no hesitation. 00:09:49.679 --> 00:09:51.039 We're letting it go. 00:09:51.200 --> 00:10:07.039 We are laying down all the things that have been put on us, all the things we put on ourselves, all the things that we've talked ourselves out of, you know, in order to stay with the status quo or in order to play small or anything like, no, we're done. 00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:12.159 Spirit is calling each of us to stand in our authentic self, and I am here to help you do that. 00:10:12.240 --> 00:10:19.120 I cannot wait to see you again April 30th, May 1st, and May 2nd of 2027 in Bend, Oregon. 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:25.440 Go to angelreikijourney.com slash unbound Ben Retreat, or you can just go to angelrekejourney.com. 00:10:25.519 --> 00:10:28.080 It it'll be very easy to find as well. 00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:29.360 Sign up. 00:10:29.759 --> 00:10:31.919 Oh my gosh, don't delay. 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:33.440 I'm so excited to see you. 00:10:33.600 --> 00:10:34.320 I love you. 00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:36.559 Okay, now back to the episode. 00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:53.360 And then a couple years after that, my mom was healthy as could be, had never had a sick day in her life, and uh she went to go get some blood work done, and she was probably mid-60s, and she had pancreatic cancer. 00:10:54.000 --> 00:11:12.000 And so then, kind of just like I was just starting to come out of the fog of the seven deaths, and my mom gets sick, and so you're kind of back into the chemo and the ICU and the appointments and uh immunotherapy and whhipple surgery and everything that goes with anyone who's ever had anyone who's had pancreatic cancer. 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:15.039 It's one of the most challenging types of cancers, I feel like. 00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:20.399 Um, and sadly, uh she passed away as well when I was in my early 40s. 00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:24.639 So I think it's just, you know, and then I lost another friend from cancer. 00:11:24.720 --> 00:11:36.720 It's just it kind of it just I remember having this moment where I could tell I was having a little bit of PTSD because every time the phone rang, I thought it was gonna be someone telling me that someone died. 00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:37.440 Yeah. 00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:41.440 And it's crazy, it just was a lot. 00:11:42.240 --> 00:11:47.919 And I remember that time, I mean young kids, and I was working, you know, a ton. 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:49.679 I was thick in my career. 00:11:50.080 --> 00:11:53.759 Um, and I just remember thinking, I don't have my parents. 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:56.000 I don't have Hillary, I don't have my friend Ann. 00:11:56.159 --> 00:11:59.440 Like you just, it's just like losing a limb, kind of. 00:11:59.679 --> 00:12:12.480 And um, and it doesn't matter how much I learned about grief or dealt with grief in my practice, um, you still get knocked off your high horse and you just don't know what to do. 00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:23.679 But I one thing that I know I did do um that I would say wasn't wrong, but I don't know if I would suggest it to everyone, is that I stayed busy. 00:12:23.919 --> 00:12:28.080 Uh, my dad died on a Tuesday, and I think I started seeing patients get on a Friday. 00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:38.080 Like I just filled my calendar and filled my time and did not want to feel at all um until one minute I was in my kitchen. 00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:44.960 It was like late, like around noon after I had lunch, and I collapsed on the floor and I could not get up. 00:12:45.200 --> 00:12:48.960 I could not grab the anything, I could not move. 00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:58.720 Um, I just was literally like cement on the floor, and I looked at the clock, and I'd been laying there for almost two and a half hours, and I realized I had to go get my kids from school. 00:12:59.279 --> 00:13:13.919 So I just pulled myself up, like found a countertop, found a chair, found my keys, and I went and got my kids, and my body kind of always reminds me of Ariana Huffington's story of how she collapsed and was bleeding out of you know, stress and burnout. 00:13:14.080 --> 00:13:15.759 Mine was out of death and grief. 00:13:15.919 --> 00:13:18.879 And I just think at that moment I was like, I have to do something about this. 00:13:19.039 --> 00:13:24.879 I have to really face this demon that I've been running away from for years, for years. 00:13:25.279 --> 00:13:26.240 Absolutely. 00:13:26.399 --> 00:13:27.440 Oh my goodness. 00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:33.200 It's uh, you know, grief is is such an interesting thing to go through. 00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:42.480 And I feel like it rears its head at the most inopportune times out of nowhere as well. 00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:44.399 I had a similar experience. 00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:54.080 My grandmother and my best friend um were both put on hospice at the same time within like a week or so of each other. 00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:58.240 And in my background, I'm a nurse as well. 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:00.559 And I had worked in hospice before. 00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:05.440 And sometimes I wish I didn't know the stuff that I knew, right? 00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:10.639 And uh they were the only two people in my life at that time that knew everything about me. 00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:25.840 They knew about they knew about all the childhood stuff, they knew about every emotion, everything that I um otherwise kept up, you know, locked up tight as a vertical strong person, right? 00:14:26.240 --> 00:14:29.120 And and hyper-independent person at that. 00:14:29.279 --> 00:14:35.840 But I do remember they ended up passing away uh within I think about three weeks of each other. 00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:38.399 This was about three years ago. 00:14:38.559 --> 00:14:44.320 And um I was standing on my back deck and I had been just kind of going through the motions. 00:14:44.480 --> 00:14:48.480 Both of them had the same hospice nurse, and I was the power of attorney for

both of them as well. 00:14:48.639 --> 00:15:00.320 So luckily I could keep in contact with them pretty good, and they were in two different towns, and it was crazy, but in a way, it was great because I was able to be there for them. 00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:08.320 I was able to keep busy and I was able to like have my nurse hat on and be like, okay, well, I have to take care of this symptom and this symptom, and I can do this and do this. 00:15:08.399 --> 00:15:24.799 And um, but there was this moment a couple months later where I was standing on my back deck, and I literally it was like the ground was no longer beneath me, and my foundation was just completely gone. 00:15:25.679 --> 00:15:29.679 And I realized at that moment that oh, I do need people. 00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:36.960 Oh shit, this whole time I sort of prided myself on not needing anyone and staying super busy. 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:57.759 Oh my gosh, I need community, so I can completely relate to your story, and I think there's so many people that go through grief so quietly and trying to, you know, keep pushing through, and and then they have these moments that comes out physically, right? 00:15:58.159 --> 00:16:00.159 Just like you on the ground. 00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:00.960 Yeah. 00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:17.360 And I mean, I yeah, and I think the thing that's interesting is that um you have these moments, these wake-up moments, like you had on the deck or I had on the kitchen floor, where it's very humbling, and you know it's like that rock bottom moment with addiction as well. 00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:21.120 Like you know that you cannot do this thing alone. 00:16:21.200 --> 00:16:29.279 And I I actually ended up doing this incredible grief work ritual workshop for three days at a place called Brighton Bush here in Oregon. 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:34.720 It's a hot springs, and with an incredible woman who has passed, but her name was Sobung Fu Sommei. 00:16:35.200 --> 00:16:37.919 And if you look her up, she's had written books on grief. 00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:47.279 And what we did is we went in and you build three grief altars, and you build one to your ancestors, you build one to the earth, and then you build one to the people who've passed. 00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:54.480 And there were probably like 50 or 40 people that attended this workshop, and we all brought things for the and you know, the first day you're grieving, right? 00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:55.519 All the people that you loved. 00:16:55.600 --> 00:16:56.159 You're breathing. 00:16:56.240 --> 00:17:01.679 I was grieving my friend's husband and my dad and my mom and you know, my grandparents, and like really grieving. 00:17:01.759 --> 00:17:05.839 And then the next day you're grieving, you know, other people that you've lost that you're not as close to. 00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:22.240 And by the third day, we realize grief is so stored in the body, you're grieving like animals that have been true treated cruel, or the earth and how horrible we treat, but but is crying as hard for those animals and the earth that I was for my father. 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:25.039 And that's how deep our grief is. 00:17:25.119 --> 00:17:34.079 And there was African drumming, and you always had it was it was an absolutely beautiful ritual and a life-changing experience for me. 00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:48.000 Um, that taught me more about, even as a therapist, I know a lot about somatics, but about what we store in the body, how ritual, how much we've lost ritual in our culture, but yet how healing it is, and community, because you didn't grieve alone. 00:17:48.079 --> 00:17:55.279 I mean, I grieved with like 40, 50 other people during this ceremony, I would say, of these three days of grief. 00:17:55.440 --> 00:18:00.640 So that was a huge thing that I did to help still help. 00:18:00.720 --> 00:18:12.559 And then there's things that happen all the time, like my children going to college, you know, brought up just about the same amount of grief as me losing my parents, you know, the loss of the identity of the mother, and who is the archetype of the mother? 00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:14.319 And who am I without my kids? 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:15.599 Who am I without my parents? 00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:22.480 You know, so the same questions arise, um, even though it's not a physical death, it's like the death of an identity. 00:18:23.519 --> 00:18:26.079 Oh my gosh, I so feel you. 00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:33.200 I why do you think we're so afraid to slow down enough to feel what we're feeling? 00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:37.279 What do you what do you feel like keeps us from that? 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:42.640 Because some people go 20 years without taking the time to do that. 00:18:43.599 --> 00:18:44.240 Well, it's funny. 00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:47.039 The episode, my episode coming out Thursdays with two death doulas. 00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:48.720 So I've been like editing their episode. 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:49.680 Yeah, it's gonna be really good. 00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:50.400 They're really amazing. 00:18:50.480 --> 00:18:52.000 They're two women out of Portland. 00:18:52.400 --> 00:19:05.920 And so I've just been living with this kind of I mean, from a clinician's perspective, from a personal perspective, I would say I just keep going back to death and grief are not on a linear time. 00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:08.400 It's impossible. 00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:11.599 And Elizabeth Kubel-Ross, I love you know, the five stages of death. 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:13.680 She talked about they don't come in order, right? 00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:14.480 It's not. 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:23.119 So I think it's not about what keeps us, yes, from grieving is like this deep protection of a deep knowing of timing. 00:19:23.359 --> 00:19:25.839 That that it's it's just not my time. 00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:28.559 I don't have the capacity for it right now. 00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:38.319 I don't have the space or the

soul structure or the heart structure to handle the intensity of what is going on in my life. 00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:55.440 But I do have the capacity to go to work and hopefully get out of bed and feed my kids and maybe cry at the grocery store or song, or you know, oh, I pick up the phone to call my mom, and I can't, but then I but I can't really like spend three days at a grief ritual. 00:19:55.599 --> 00:19:56.960 You know, I just don't have the capacity. 00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:04.960 So it's like massive amounts of compassion and grace for yourself, of the timing for you will come. 00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:09.599 And there's no right or wrong way to do grief. 00:20:10.240 --> 00:20:18.640 It's just, it's literally like like, you know, space and um trusting the body. 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:33.200 And when it comes, you know, even if it's like the smallest thing of like go in your car and put on music and cry in your car, go in your closet, give yourself like all feel it come, like an entity, you know, like almost like Harry Potter when they talk about all those things that come through the body. 00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:33.519 Right. 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:38.000 It's like an entity comes in the body, and I'm like, okay, I have 30 minutes before another client. 00:20:38.160 --> 00:20:44.640 I can go in my closet, I can look at a picture of my mom, I know the song to put on to almost because I'm not an easy crier. 00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:48.640 So I like I kind of have to create an environment, a ritual to cry. 00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:56.559 And then I cry, and then I wipe my eyes and wash my face, and then I can go be with the client versus saying, no, this isn't right. 00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:59.440 Like I can feel it, you know, almost in a weird way. 00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:09.519 This is kind of a weird analogy, but like going to the bathroom or you're thirsty and you want to get a glass of water, like trust your body and listen to it, or else it can get stored and become toxic. 00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:12.880 Grief is grief is a tricky one in that way. 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:14.799 Absolutely. 00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:29.200 You know, as far as so that moment you had where you were on the ground, and like these moments are are moments, it's not like you were like, Oh, I just can't hold myself up anymore. 00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:30.000 I'm gonna sit down. 00:21:30.079 --> 00:21:32.559 It was like, no, you're going down right now. 00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:36.400 Like there's no more, like, you don't get to make the decision in this. 00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:39.279 Like your body is like, now is the time. 00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:44.079 And so would that be your cracking open moment? 00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:46.319 You know, it's so funny. 00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:46.640 Yeah. 00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:48.559 Sorry. 00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:55.759 No, I would say um, I've had many, and that is one of them for sure. 00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.759 Um, but I would say the

one that's closest on my heart right now. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:11.200 Was something that happened a few weeks ago, um, where I was very brave to stand up to a friend who did something unkind at my daughter's graduation party. 00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:29.359 And I wrote her a text and told her exactly how I thought it was rude and inappropriate, and that I had spent days preparing for this party, and the way she acted was not okay, and that I won't let her ruin that experience because I have so much love for my daughter. 00:22:29.519 --> 00:22:44.880 I did it for my daughter and one of her closest friends, and um and that broke a cycle of me worrying so much about what other people think of me or being the good Catholic girl or excusing behavior from this woman for years. 00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:50.720 She's done things to me for years and other people that were not okay via her own habits. 00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:57.680 And so to me, the biggest one on my heart right now is when I spoke my truth and told her exactly how I feel. 00:22:57.839 --> 00:23:12.640 I cracked a part of my identity of being the good girl and having everyone like me and having to say the right thing and worry that if I'm gonna upset someone or upset a group of friends or be a bitch or you know what I mean, whatever the story is we say, right? 00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:13.680 And I was like, I'm done. 00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:16.160 Like you did it to my daughter, and you crossed the line. 00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:19.680 And so that is the cracking for me of no more. 00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:25.200 And I've thought about it with other family members who have done things that are not okay, and I've thought about it with other people. 00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:28.160 And and honestly, it's not even like I'm upset with them. 00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:36.240 I more have to like I've come to a place of compassion for myself that I don't beat myself up that I allowed people to treat me this way for years, right? 00:23:36.400 --> 00:23:49.119 I excused behavior and comments because I was so afraid of confrontation or so afraid to not be liked or loved or respected as a therapist, as an author, or whatever. 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:53.599 And so I just kind of stayed quiet, you know, but was hurt inside. 00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:55.920 So that would be my latest cracking open. 00:23:56.000 --> 00:24:00.640 Yes, when I collapsed on the fore and all the deaths and my kids going to college was one of my cracking open moments. 00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:09.119 But the last, the closest one to me right now is that experience where I spoke my truth of really how I felt about an experience with a friend. 00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:11.119 I am so proud of you. 00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:12.319 Uh thank you. 00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:13.519 I was shaking. 00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:15.839 I cannot imagine. 00:24:16.079 --> 00:24:19.279 You know, it's uh well, I can't imagine actually. 00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:25.200 Um, you know, I

think that the people pleasing uh is is a pretty common thread, right? 00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:28.880 I think that so many people, I definitely carry that as well. 00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:40.799 I was brought up Catholic and then we were multiple different religions, but it it was very deep ingrained in me, like, no, you you suck it up, buttercup, and you do whatever makes everyone else happy. 00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:42.640 That's what you do, you know? 00:24:43.359 --> 00:24:48.880 And uh as does grief, that starts to build things in your body too, right? 00:24:49.039 --> 00:24:56.000 When we continuously swallow our own truth and our own feelings about things and just go with whatever they want. 00:24:56.240 --> 00:24:56.400 Yeah. 00:24:56.640 --> 00:25:00.240 So when did you write the cracking open book? 00:25:01.039 --> 00:25:03.680 So I God, how many get the publishing date? 00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:04.640 I think it's 2008. 00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:07.440 It was 2008 published, I believe. 00:25:08.079 --> 00:25:10.720 2000, oh 2010, I can't remember, 2009. 00:25:10.880 --> 00:25:12.799 I so so I've always journaled. 00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:14.240 I've journaled all my life. 00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:16.960 I lived overseas, I lived in Barcelona for two years. 00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:20.960 I journaled, I lived in San Francisco, I journaled, I traveled everywhere, I journaled. 00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:22.960 I've always been like a journaler. 00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:28.480 And one day I was writing and I'm like, wow, this my journal is what everyone feels. 00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:35.119 We all want to be seen, we all want to be free, we all want to have these parts of our personality. 00:25:35.519 --> 00:25:38.240 We want to be heard and we want to be loved. 00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:39.680 And I'm not alone in this. 00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:41.440 And so I think this could be a book. 00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:46.640 So I just started writing it and painting and creating it. 00:25:46.799 --> 00:25:50.160 It took me seven years because I did every single piece of that book. 00:25:50.240 --> 00:25:52.160 Even on the back, there's like cracked eggshells. 00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:57.920 And I think my daughter was probably like seven or eight, and we glued the little eggshells on the back of the cover. 00:25:58.240 --> 00:25:58.640 I know, yeah. 00:25:58.720 --> 00:25:59.519 Here, wait, I can show you. 00:25:59.599 --> 00:25:59.920 I don't know. 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:01.599 Do you do audio video too? 00:26:02.079 --> 00:26:02.400 Yes. 00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:07.279 And I have a copy right here, but so like look at this, so you can see. 00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:10.720 You know, like I did we those are actual eggshells. 00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:21.920 You know, it's like every chapter be adventurous, and you know, like paint, you know, like I did all the artwork um that I've been in here, you know, befriended. 00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:23.279 So I talked about friendship. 00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:28.319 So I just, you know, I just literally, um, it just took me seven years. 00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:29.920 I just took my time. 00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:37.839 And it, it just, it it just can't, I just allowed it to be a divine intervention, like drop down without even consciously letting it. 00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:41.839 And I would just do this page and then that page and then design the font. 00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:46.799 And so it took me seven years, and then I decided to self-publish it instead of go traditional. 00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:49.279 And I went traditional publishing with Trust Within. 00:26:49.519 --> 00:27:00.240 But I decided to self-publish it, and it just kind of became what I believe so much the Leonard Cohen song of in the cracks, that's how the light gets in. 00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:04.559 Um, but the title came to me when I was on a hike one day by myself, cracking open. 00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:09.839 But and then it just, it just was, it became, it birthed something beyond me. 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:29.599 It birthed a TED talk, it birthed retreats where I would bring the book and work with women's circle, where we'd answer the questions and talk about what we're going through and how they're holding in different areas of their life and how they want to be free and um company work and it just kind of became you know the podcast. 00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:34.880 Um, because I think it just has cracking open can mean many things to many different people. 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:50.319 Um, but yeah, it just it it's been, but I I do think I published it, I cannot remember the exact date, but it's been in, you know, fruition for probably right, 2026, at least 20 years now, you know, since it really started. 00:27:51.119 --> 00:28:03.119 You know, I think uh there's something I've talked about many times on the podcast, is I had some a time in my life where I had realized I had pretty much just turned into a zombie, right? 00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:05.119 Like I was doing everything I was supposed to do. 00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:10.960 I was checking the boxes, I fed the children, I brought them to school, I went to work, I drove home, I did laundry. 00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:15.359 Like there was absolutely nothing happening on the inside. 00:28:15.519 --> 00:28:18.640 I had shut, you know, shut down my heart chakra. 00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:21.359 I had um so many things. 00:28:21.519 --> 00:28:39.599 And I feel like there are a lot of women listening that have maybe not on a conscious level, but have really disconnected from themselves in order to try to survive in whatever their life uh looks like at the time. 00:28:39.839 --> 00:28:42.240 What would you say to those people? 00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:48.160 The first thing I would say to them is they're not alone, they're not suffering alone. 00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:50.720 So many women feel the same way. 00:28:50.960 --> 00:29:00.000 They're checking and that they feel

like in order to be a good mother, they have to do these things, that it's almost selfish to take time for yourself. 00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:06.799 And I would say to them that I would have them do three things every day, whatever they can do. 00:29:06.960 --> 00:29:09.200 It could be a minute, it could be an hour. 00:29:09.440 --> 00:29:13.599 But the first thing is to incorporate ritual into their life. 00:29:13.839 --> 00:29:15.359 And whatever ritual that means. 00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:22.559 So that means lighting a candle in the morning while they're making their kids lunches, or before they get out of bed, they do gratitude. 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:24.559 Three things they're grateful for. 00:29:24.880 --> 00:29:27.680 And when they go to bed, three things they're grateful for. 00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:32.079 You know, my health, my kids, you know, made it home safe, okay. 00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:34.319 I have a roof over my head. 00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:39.920 Um, I was able to get, you know, whatever, whatever you can feel like gratitude through. 00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:42.000 So some sort of ritual. 00:29:42.160 --> 00:29:51.359 I mean, if they go longer, a yoga class, a walk, um, a run, you know, courage, any any emotion does not come until we do action. 00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:54.880 So courage follows action, transformation follows action. 00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:56.880 I'm a big believer in action, right? 00:29:56.960 --> 00:29:58.319 So that's what that would be the second thing. 00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:02.160 So the first one is rituals, some sort of spiritual practice or faith-based practice. 00:30:02.240 --> 00:30:04.240 I don't care what it is, prayer or meditation. 00:30:04.480 --> 00:30:06.160 The second one is action. 00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:11.359 If you want something to change, nobody's gonna change it but you. 00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:12.000 Nobody. 00:30:12.160 --> 00:30:14.000 And I call this get Nebraska on people. 00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:16.000 I've I was born and raised in Nebraska. 00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:25.119 And I get a little tough with people because I think we we don't we we don't give ourselves enough permission and accountability to make the change that we deserve. 00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:27.839 So it's like, you know, oh, I feel sorry for myself. 00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:30.240 I do the laundry and I'm doing all this and no one cares about me. 00:30:30.319 --> 00:30:32.160 And it's like wah, wah, wah. 00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:33.039 Me too. 00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:34.640 Well, make a change. 00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:43.039 You know, instead of doing the laundry that day, you know, join a sewing club or running club or, you know, get a part-time job if you want to make your own money. 00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:47.839 I really believe in women making money and having their own power with finances. 00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:58.000 Um, or, you know, you want to um be healthier, drink more water, um, make a different choice than something

you put in your body that day, or call a therapist. 00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:02.160 You know, book a couple of therapy, you know, even call your insurance. 00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:04.000 Which therapist takes your insurance, you know. 00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:08.000 And it's really, I know it's a privilege, but we can we can find ways. 00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:10.400 There were many times in my life where I had no money. 00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:12.960 My husband had a startup, he wasn't making any money. 00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:19.119 I was home with the kids, and I had to get really creative with coupons and picking up pennies and everything, you know. 00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:19.920 So action. 00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:22.079 The second piece of this is action. 00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:24.240 Move, change. 00:31:24.480 --> 00:31:34.640 And it could be as small as drinking more water in the day, or it could be leaving an unhealthy relationship that isn't serving you anymore, or a job, or you know, a habit or an addiction. 00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:36.240 You know, those are big ones. 00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:40.799 Uh looking deeper at your trauma, looking deeper, big T, little T, whatever it is. 00:31:41.039 --> 00:31:45.599 And then the third thing is that I think is really important is compassion. 00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:49.119 I think all healing comes from compassion. 00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:50.720 Right? 00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:56.480 The heart, like touching your heart, like whatever that means, like you're doing a good job today, Justina. 00:31:57.119 --> 00:31:59.920 You're you showed up today with an open heart. 00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:01.440 It's all gonna be okay. 00:32:01.599 --> 00:32:05.759 Tapping the heart, tapping the body, EFT, emotional freedom, tapping, EMDR. 00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:07.200 We know all these techniques, right? 00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:18.640 DBT, any of these CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, any of these things, neuropsychology, change, change the psychology, change the neuropathways with compassion. 00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:24.160 Everything starts, the root of any tree is compassion. 00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:31.680 The root of any change is compassion, the root of any ritual is compassion for yourself and others. 00:32:33.519 --> 00:32:34.160 Wow. 00:32:34.400 --> 00:32:35.839 Uh that's beautiful. 00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:38.480 I'm gonna probably rewind us and listen about you. 00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:43.359 Oh, it's such it's just so beautiful. 00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:44.720 It's just so beautiful. 00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:56.880 Um I think what we also run into sometimes, and when I was in that part of things, um, luckily I didn't make a change and reach out and things are way better now. 00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:04.319 But there were times where somebody would ask me, like, what's your favorite color? 00:33:04.480 --> 00:33:05.440 What's your favorite food? 00:33:05.599 --> 00:33:06.240 What's your favorite? 00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:08.640 And I I could not answer any of them. 00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:17.119 And now at this time in my life, I'm like, how could I not even like grasp and answer those questions? 00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:22.960 But I think sometimes what happens is you know, women come to me too, and they're like, I don't even know who I am anymore. 00:33:23.039 --> 00:33:31.359 Like, I hear what you're saying as far as like I want to try to do three different things, but like how do I even know like who I am? 00:33:31.519 --> 00:33:35.680 Like, how do I trust who I am? 00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:40.000 Trust within, like like you know, the title of your other book. 00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:41.920 Does it talk about that? 00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:44.480 Like expanding that, right? 00:33:44.799 --> 00:33:45.119 Yes. 00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:51.279 I mean, that's trust within is letting your intuition lead, like learning about your intuition, learning how to trust your gut. 00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:56.400 I mean, I would say to anyone listening, I have been there too, and I have done so much work. 00:33:56.559 --> 00:34:01.359 I've done so much therapy and plant medicine, and I went to India and I I got to meet the Dalai Lama. 00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:06.240 And I mean, I have done, I've worked with therapists and talked to many people on my podcast. 00:34:06.559 --> 00:34:12.079 Great, you know, Dan Siegel, Terry Real, like amazing people, read their books. 00:34:12.320 --> 00:34:23.519 And I still, like when my son went to college, I had a total identity crisis of like my whole identity even though I worked the whole time, my whole identity has been one of my children. 00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:29.760 And I've given so much of myself, which happily, and I I don't have any regret in it. 00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:31.360 I really have zero regret. 00:34:31.519 --> 00:34:37.119 And I still worked, but I I gave a lot to my kids, and I I didn't know who I was anymore. 00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:39.199 I didn't know what I loved. 00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:43.519 I I didn't even know because I was just like between work and my kids, work and my kids. 00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:44.079 Right. 00:34:44.480 --> 00:34:47.199 And so, um, and I wrote a book on intuition. 00:34:47.280 --> 00:34:57.119 You would think I would know what to do, and I still didn't, but what I would say is I'm gonna get a little practical here because I think it's helpful to people. 00:34:57.760 --> 00:34:58.960 We need that a lot of the time. 00:34:59.199 --> 00:35:06.000 Yeah, and I keep thinking about this client of mine that I've worked with for years and years and years, and she was raised in a really strict religion and kind of had a southern upbringing. 00:35:06.079 --> 00:35:08.880 And whenever I asked her when I first started, I was like, Well, how'd that make you feel? 00:35:09.119 --> 00:35:11.039 She had no idea how she even felt. 00:35:11.199 --> 00:35:15.199 She didn't even know not only what she likes, what color she likes,

she didn't even know about it. 00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:17.280 She had no connection to any emotion. 00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:20.800 Happy, sad, excited, frustrated, angry. 00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:22.239 She didn't even know, right? 00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:32.000 So there's a numbness that we can all create through lots of things that we've gone through, either it's trauma or just society or media or being women, whatever happens. 00:35:32.159 --> 00:35:37.280 So the first thing is know that you may not know the answer right way, but you gotta kind of fake it till you make it. 00:35:37.519 --> 00:35:41.519 So it's like you think to yourself, I used to love painting. 00:35:42.639 --> 00:35:44.000 I used to love it. 00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:54.800 So maybe I just bring out some watercolors and a little piece of paper with my kids or markers on the table with paper with my kids while they do their math homework. 00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:56.000 And I just doodle. 00:35:56.880 --> 00:35:58.159 Maybe that'll change. 00:35:58.320 --> 00:36:00.000 I used to love theater. 00:36:00.239 --> 00:36:03.119 There's a local theater that's gonna put on a play. 00:36:03.280 --> 00:36:06.719 Maybe I can ask a friend to go and we could go see the theater. 00:36:07.039 --> 00:36:10.960 I used to be passionate about nature or trees. 00:36:11.360 --> 00:36:12.960 Maybe I just go for a walk. 00:36:13.039 --> 00:36:14.639 I have to walk my dog anyway. 00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:20.719 You know, like and just the body needs to remind it's like it's a body thing to remind yourself. 00:36:20.880 --> 00:36:28.480 And this is also getting into your intuition, like getting quiet, giving it time to listen. 00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:30.800 Yeah, like show me the way. 00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:33.039 Show me the way to my truth. 00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:34.880 What do I love to do anymore? 00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:44.480 Even if you just close your eyes right now of like listening to people, like if I just close my eyes right now and take a deep breath in, and I just ask myself, what do I need today? 00:36:45.519 --> 00:36:54.000 And what I hear is this podcast, good food, and patience. 00:36:54.800 --> 00:36:57.599 Because I'm like leaving to go on a trip to go see my son in college. 00:36:57.679 --> 00:36:59.360 Like I'm going up to see him play soccer. 00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:02.079 So it's like patience with myself because I've been really busy. 00:37:02.239 --> 00:37:05.840 This podcast, and I need to nourish myself with some good food, right? 00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:08.000 I need to eat well today to get through. 00:37:08.239 --> 00:37:09.840 So just you just get quiet. 00:37:10.079 --> 00:37:11.679 What do I need today? 00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:13.119 Show me the way. 00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:16.639 You know, in Al-Anon, we say, I go to Al Anon, we say, let go like God. 00:37:17.039 --> 00:37:19.920 Trust that there's something much bigger than you moving. 00:37:20.079 --> 00:37:22.880 And yet you also

have all the answers inside of yourself. 00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:26.719 So there's like this left brain practicality of it. 00:37:26.800 --> 00:37:30.159 Like, you know, action, change, do something, moving. 00:37:30.239 --> 00:37:35.760 Like you, like, like if you were thinking of a car, it doesn't start until you turn the ignition and get it going, push the pedal on the gas. 00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:39.840 So you gotta do things to remember who you are, what colors you love. 00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:48.239 You know, maybe you bring on all the colors, you do a pink, and then I'm Justine is wearing beautiful pink and a blue, and you bring a yellow, and you're like, oh, I like yellow better than green. 00:37:48.480 --> 00:37:52.159 Okay, you know, or and then so you get these practical things. 00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:54.079 Okay, I am gonna go see a play. 00:37:54.159 --> 00:37:56.719 I am gonna take this class on sewing class. 00:37:56.880 --> 00:38:05.519 And then you also do the right brain and the more quiet spiritual, getting into your chakras, opening up your third eye, your intuition, right? 00:38:05.840 --> 00:38:07.679 Listening to the true voice of yourself. 00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:09.039 Whose voice is this? 00:38:09.280 --> 00:38:10.079 This is my voice. 00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:11.440 Oh, this is my mother's voice. 00:38:11.519 --> 00:38:12.559 No, that's not my voice. 00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:14.159 This is my boss's voice. 00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:16.239 This is my friend's voice, right? 00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:18.880 You know, what is my voice? 00:38:19.039 --> 00:38:20.159 Who am I? 00:38:20.400 --> 00:38:22.239 But then you gotta go do it. 00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:24.559 You gotta follow the voice. 00:38:25.519 --> 00:38:31.119 You know, you gotta listen with morals, with ethics, with your values, with your integrity. 00:38:31.280 --> 00:38:34.719 You just can't go do something, which I learned that from Dan Siegel. 00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:38.239 He pushed me in a conference one time and saying, Molly, you can't just follow your voice. 00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:39.519 And I said, Okay, Dan, what is it? 00:38:39.679 --> 00:38:42.400 You gotta have your morals and your ethics and your values when you listen to the voice. 00:38:42.559 --> 00:38:51.440 So, yeah, that's just listening to those two parts of our brain, two parts of our soul, two parts of our life, you know, and there's only one of you. 00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:53.519 There's nobody else like you. 00:38:53.679 --> 00:38:54.800 So live it. 00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:55.679 Live it. 00:38:56.159 --> 00:38:56.559 Be it. 00:38:56.880 --> 00:38:59.440 We need you, we need you in the world, is what I say to people. 00:38:59.519 --> 00:39:00.639 We really need you. 00:39:01.199 --> 00:39:02.480 Absolutely. 00:39:02.719 --> 00:39:09.199 Speaking of need, um, why do you think women need other women? 00:39:11.199 --> 00:39:12.400 That's a really good question. 00:39:12.559 --> 00:39:14.079 I've never been

asked that before. 00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:23.360 I think sometimes that um, well, previously, personally speaking, I often wanted to do things alone, right? 00:39:23.440 --> 00:39:26.239 Like I was always like, no, I can do it all by myself. 00:39:26.480 --> 00:39:31.920 That hyper-independence, which was also along with business, those things. 00:39:32.239 --> 00:39:43.199 And I have realized definitely as I've gotten older, and spirit has come in a million times and is like community, community, community, community. 00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:54.639 Um I think that there's something really beautiful about being able to be witnessed and honest. 00:39:56.960 --> 00:40:04.239 You know, um, do you feel like do you encourage community with you know clients and things like that? 00:40:04.480 --> 00:40:07.039 Do you what's your thought process on community? 00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:11.519 Like what benefit can it have versus doing stuff alone? 00:40:11.760 --> 00:40:12.000 Yeah. 00:40:12.239 --> 00:40:13.760 Um, I mean, I think it's everything. 00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:16.960 I mean, my second TED talk was on the power of human connection. 00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:22.880 I mean, the science is off the charts about how much better we are for our anxiety, our depression. 00:40:23.119 --> 00:40:30.559 It's better to be in community, you know, like people who have it's it's it's easier like smoking obesity and high blood pressure. 00:40:30.719 --> 00:40:33.119 It's better, community is better for all those things. 00:40:33.199 --> 00:40:36.480 It helps with everything in your body and your soul. 00:40:36.719 --> 00:40:40.000 I mean, it's it doesn't mean that you you shouldn't spend time alone. 00:40:40.079 --> 00:40:45.119 I definitely think you should have a relationship with yourself and be able to be alone and have time alone. 00:40:45.360 --> 00:40:57.199 But I think there's nothing better than when you're sitting in community with like-minded people and can share something intimate, right? 00:40:57.280 --> 00:41:00.960 That's where 12-step is so powerful because it's so honest and raw. 00:41:01.199 --> 00:41:09.119 But it could also be in, you know, at a coffee with a friend or a colleague, you know, like at work. 00:41:09.280 --> 00:41:13.920 You know, I always when I work with companies, I talk about where what happened to the water cooler conversations. 00:41:14.079 --> 00:41:16.159 Like we don't people don't go to the water cooler anymore. 00:41:16.239 --> 00:41:16.400 Right. 00:41:16.639 --> 00:41:17.440 How are your kids? 00:41:17.599 --> 00:41:18.880 How was your weekend? 00:41:19.119 --> 00:41:21.599 You know, I'm so sorry I heard your mom was sick. 00:41:21.840 --> 00:41:23.760 I mean, it's these small things. 00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:25.920 It doesn't have to be a huge thing. 00:41:26.159 --> 00:41:39.599 It's really, and I think our society is at a really interesting time right now because we've lost this essence of empathy, and it's almost looked at

as a weakness to be empathetic, to be sensitive. 00:41:39.920 --> 00:41:45.840 And what's happening though is I think the tides are turning a little bit, and we're starting to see, right? 00:41:45.920 --> 00:41:46.480 I know, right? 00:41:46.639 --> 00:41:47.199 Raise your hands. 00:41:47.519 --> 00:41:56.719 So exciting we're starting to see that, you know, this, you know, whether you're watching someone, a client of mine just sent this video of this woman who said, I'm I'm learning how to skate. 00:41:56.880 --> 00:42:00.159 Can you all come out and cheer me on in her community? 00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:11.280 And all these people came with signs, and she went on the ice skating rink and she tried on the skates and she'd fall and they'd cheer, you got this, you've got this, get back up. 00:42:11.519 --> 00:42:14.000 And she'd get back up and hold her hand on the rail. 00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:15.920 And then she did a few steps alone. 00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:20.400 And we all want to help each other, you know. 00:42:20.559 --> 00:42:23.599 We had this man in my neighborhood in my alley named Sunny. 00:42:23.760 --> 00:42:26.320 He was such a lovely man, an older man who would go. 00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:33.440 He was a farmer in Washington, and he'd bring back apples and asparagus and cherries for the whole neighborhood. 00:42:34.079 --> 00:42:37.679 And he passed away on July like 3rd. 00:42:38.079 --> 00:42:44.559 And so we have this thing now in my neighborhood we call Sunny S-O-N-N-Y, is his name, Sunny Sundays. 00:42:44.800 --> 00:42:51.840 And we all come together with food and nourish each other and share stories because of Sunny, right? 00:42:52.159 --> 00:42:55.760 So because he brought apples back and cherries. 00:42:55.920 --> 00:43:04.239 So it's and I'm working on this with a couple people of you know, someone just wrote a biography of the grateful dead, you know, and and why music is so popular right now. 00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:11.039 And it's almost kind of the new therapy, like almost kind of the wellness movement is plateauing a little bit, I have to say. 00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:24.320 You know, it's like people are kind of getting tired a little bit and they want more to just be in community and laugh and sing and dance and you know, feel something bigger than themselves. 00:43:25.039 --> 00:43:28.559 Um, it's it's really what I think is gonna heal us. 00:43:28.880 --> 00:43:34.639 I really think the thing that it's not this individual in a therapy room as a therapist talking about your own trauma. 00:43:34.880 --> 00:43:51.599 I think it's gonna be about coming out of your your gates and your front doors and bringing food and music and dance and gathering, you know, whether it's for a purpose or a cause or just to be together, that's really gonna heal our country and our world right now. 00:43:51.760 --> 00:43:55.360 You know full body angel bumps. 00:43:56.239 --> 00:43:59.760 I absolutely, like absolutely. 00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:04.320 I think there's so much beauty in that. 00:44:04.480 --> 00:44:11.119 I mean, and to realize how much more alike we are than different, you know? 00:44:11.360 --> 00:44:22.400 And that we don't have to, and this is something I have to tell myself often is it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help or support. 00:44:22.960 --> 00:44:32.400 And I think that uh that has been really ingrained in my brain, and I think in a lot of people's brain to ask for help, you know. 00:44:32.559 --> 00:44:53.679 I think sometimes people are really quick to judge those with addiction of alcohol or drugs, but their own drug of choice, their you know, overworking, their over busyness, like their overeating, whatever that is, that does not, there is not one better than the other. 00:44:53.840 --> 00:44:56.159 Those are all forms, right? 00:44:56.639 --> 00:45:07.199 So I think that when we look at the true root cause of that and realize, like, oh wait, like you have lungs and kidneys just like me. 00:45:07.599 --> 00:45:08.320 Oh, yes. 00:45:08.639 --> 00:45:15.119 No, I mean, like the nurse in me is like, hello, I'm seeing physiology, you guys. 00:45:15.360 --> 00:45:31.119 Um yes, and as far as community, I see it in you know, in patients and in the nursing world too, of patients that spend so much time alone and and their level of health is terrible, right? 00:45:31.280 --> 00:45:44.320 Their immune system is completely broken, and they consume most of their days with news channels um or lots of different medications, right? 00:45:44.639 --> 00:45:45.599 Or both. 00:45:45.920 --> 00:46:06.079 And I think that if we would allow ourselves to take the time to vent to people to be able to be true friends, I make a point now very clearly, very often, when a friend comes to me with, you know, like I just have to talk to you about blah blah blah this day, you know, and then they're like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. 00:46:06.239 --> 00:46:09.679 And I'm like, no, like this is what we're supposed to do. 00:46:09.840 --> 00:46:14.480 Yeah, we're supposed to be able to be present for each other. 00:46:14.719 --> 00:46:15.039 Right. 00:46:15.360 --> 00:46:16.960 This is how we thrive. 00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:21.119 It's just oh my gosh, it's honey Sundays. 00:46:21.199 --> 00:46:22.000 I so want to do that. 00:46:22.239 --> 00:46:25.039 I know, and it's uh you're I so agree with you, Justina. 00:46:25.199 --> 00:46:26.079 I mean, I really do. 00:46:26.159 --> 00:46:39.360 I think that there is such, and I love that you talk about this from the nursing perspective too, because there's that study, you know, in that two ICU rooms with two similar patients, one had visitors, one didn't, one recovered 50% faster than the other one. 00:46:39.440 --> 00:46:42.480 And it's like we know all the science and the data. 00:46:42.719 --> 00:46:50.960 It's literally like, oh my gosh, my to-do list is a mile long, but yet I see that my neighbor's, you know, dog got out of its

gate. 00:46:51.039 --> 00:46:53.519 And can I run over and bring the dog back in the gate? 00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:59.840 Or I'm driving and I'm rushing, and yet I see someone on the side of the road that who had a flat tire. 00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:00.719 Do I pull? 00:47:00.800 --> 00:47:08.000 You know, it's just coming, it's almost like this way, and I think actually the next generation is so beautiful with it. 00:47:08.079 --> 00:47:09.199 They're so kind. 00:47:10.159 --> 00:47:13.280 They're, I mean, I see my kids, my daughter's 18, my son's 20. 00:47:13.360 --> 00:47:32.639 The level of acceptance of all different lifestyles, sexuality, choices, is and how they want to live is really gonna be a huge piece of the healing around community and caring for others versus only looking at our own, you know, self-help, self-help. 00:47:33.039 --> 00:47:34.320 And I agree, I'm a part of that. 00:47:34.400 --> 00:47:36.559 I've written books and my books are in the self-help section. 00:47:36.639 --> 00:47:48.880 I'm a therapist, but it's like it's almost like we need to start calling it community help or community wellness or can you know self-connection or I don't know, you know what I mean, versus just all about the individual. 00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:50.880 It's more about the whole, you know. 00:47:51.199 --> 00:47:52.000 Absolutely. 00:47:52.159 --> 00:47:53.760 It's it's so beautiful. 00:47:53.840 --> 00:48:08.880 And I feel like this new generation is really seeing people for their soul, not what they're bringing to the table or what type of job they have or what type of popularity they have, like soul level. 00:48:08.960 --> 00:48:10.960 So I think that's so amazing. 00:48:11.519 --> 00:48:28.880 So finally, Molly, for the sacred soul sister listening, who knows deep down that she's ready for something more, but she's very afraid to take the next step out of fear of what others may think of what that next step is. 00:48:29.360 --> 00:48:32.880 Is there something you would want her to hear today? 00:48:33.679 --> 00:48:35.360 I'm gonna go back to my threes. 00:48:35.519 --> 00:48:40.639 The first thing I'm gonna say to her is compassion is I see you, I hear you, I feel you. 00:48:40.880 --> 00:48:42.239 You are not alone. 00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:44.480 You are not alone. 00:48:45.039 --> 00:48:46.320 You can do this. 00:48:46.480 --> 00:48:49.440 I I I love you, I care for you. 00:48:49.599 --> 00:48:51.360 I really do, even though I don't know you. 00:48:51.519 --> 00:48:52.320 I I am you. 00:48:52.480 --> 00:48:53.280 I am you too. 00:48:53.360 --> 00:48:54.880 So the first one is compassion. 00:48:55.039 --> 00:48:57.119 The second one is ritual, right? 00:48:57.280 --> 00:49:01.760 Light a candle, get a piece of paper, burn everything that you're afraid of. 00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:02.719 Write it all down. 00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:04.400 I'm afraid what my mom's gonna think. 00:49:04.559 --> 00:49:08.719 I'm afraid, you know, if I have to leave

my marriage, that my kids are gonna fall apart. 00:49:08.880 --> 00:49:13.679 I'm afraid that I won't be able to, if I take this leap, I won't be able to put food on the table. 00:49:13.840 --> 00:49:21.599 I, you know, I'm still stuck in my trauma, you know, of my abuse or my, you know, whatever, my parents' divorce. 00:49:21.679 --> 00:49:23.599 Just write it all down, write it all down and then burn it. 00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:27.920 Obviously, in unsafe space with a glass of water, but burning rituals are really powerful. 00:49:28.159 --> 00:49:39.199 Like burn it, tear it up, rip it, throw it down the toilet, throw it in the trash can, or do a ritual around lightness, like send it to the angels, send it to your guide, send it to your God so you can do this. 00:49:39.440 --> 00:49:41.119 And then the third one is action. 00:49:41.280 --> 00:49:41.840 Do it. 00:49:42.079 --> 00:49:45.199 You've been waiting long enough, you know, do it, don't wait. 00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:48.559 I I give my I'm an accountability partner for every single one of my clients. 00:49:48.719 --> 00:49:50.239 I'll give you 24 hours. 00:49:50.400 --> 00:49:55.679 Send me a text, I text them, I call them, I check in on them to change, you know. 00:49:55.920 --> 00:49:58.239 And so make make the change. 00:49:58.480 --> 00:50:05.679 Do one step that you need to do within the next 24 hours of listening to this podcast to make a change. 00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:11.360 Give yourself or no more time than one day because you won't do it, or even an hour. 00:50:11.599 --> 00:50:11.840 Right. 00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:13.360 You know, whatever that is. 00:50:13.440 --> 00:50:16.239 So compassion, ritual, and action. 00:50:16.480 --> 00:50:17.119 Yeah. 00:50:17.440 --> 00:50:17.840 Wow. 00:50:18.079 --> 00:50:20.079 I would say, Molly. 00:50:20.159 --> 00:50:22.960 I could literally like pick your brain for the next. 00:50:24.159 --> 00:50:35.760 Uh there is something so powerful about remembering that the moments we often label as the hardest, messiest, most painful can actually become the moments that introduce us to a deeper version of ourselves. 00:50:35.840 --> 00:50:40.000 And I think that's what I love so much about the idea of cracking open. 00:50:40.159 --> 00:50:42.480 You guys please tune into her podcast too. 00:50:42.559 --> 00:50:47.119 Like you can continue to hear the vibration in her voice and the frequency that she carries. 00:50:47.280 --> 00:50:49.199 You can feel it, you know. 00:50:49.360 --> 00:50:53.840 And I think she definitely relays that cracking open doesn't mean we're broken. 00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:58.719 It doesn't mean like you can't get things back together, so to speak. 00:50:58.880 --> 00:51:03.920 It means that something inside of us is ready to be revealed, maybe released, maybe moved past. 00:51:04.000 --> 00:51:06.800 Maybe it's our truth, our strength, our intuition. 00:51:07.199 --> 00:51:14.320 Maybe it's the woman we've been underneath all of these rules, expectations, busyness, overgiving, people pleasing as well. 00:51:14.480 --> 00:51:19.119 And sometimes we don't discover her until life asks us to slow down enough to listen. 00:51:19.440 --> 00:51:31.199 So, Molly, thank you so much for reminding us that you're not alone in these moments, that connection matters, community matters, our stories matter. 00:51:31.440 --> 00:51:45.519 You know, I'm so glad that you wrote the books that you did because others can reach out, they can connect with that, they can know by reading those that how uh similar we are, right? 00:51:45.840 --> 00:51:56.800 How many times we're going through very similar things, you know, and that it matters, and that sometimes the most beautiful light gets to enter into the places that we've been cracked open. 00:51:57.039 --> 00:51:57.199 Yeah. 00:51:57.440 --> 00:52:04.800 So to my sacred soul sisters listening now, if something from today's conversation stirred something inside of you, don't rush past it. 00:52:05.119 --> 00:52:11.280 Sit with it for a minute, get curious about it and ask yourself, what is my life trying to show me right now? 00:52:11.519 --> 00:52:14.320 Is there a part of me that's asking to be seen? 00:52:14.559 --> 00:52:18.480 And most importantly, what am I ready to crack open to? 00:52:19.760 --> 00:52:22.719 Because you don't have to have it all figured out. 00:52:23.039 --> 00:52:26.079 And until next time, remember that you're not broken. 00:52:26.239 --> 00:52:29.440 You're becoming, you're just like the rest of us. 00:52:29.679 --> 00:52:31.440 And we're so glad you're here. 00:52:32.079 --> 00:52:32.960 Have a great day. 00:52:33.440 --> 00:52:34.480 We'll see you next week.