UDSKRIFT 🔗
WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:04.320
And I said, I'm beginning to think I don't know
2
00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:08.480
if Bethany was real. Was she real or is she
3
00:00:08.599 --> 00:00:12.359
somebody I was making up? Right? So I called the
4
00:00:12.359 --> 00:00:15.919
Obin County Hospital where Bethany was born in New City,
5
00:00:17.440 --> 00:00:19.120
and I was talking to the woman and it was like,
6
00:00:19.960 --> 00:00:25.519
I need to know if my daughter is real. Can
7
00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:27.679
you send me a copy of the versonarticulately? I need
8
00:00:27.679 --> 00:00:30.879
to see her footprints. And I remember how to mail
9
00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:35.719
to my job, and I opened them when they came
10
00:00:35.759 --> 00:00:37.600
in and I was just like, I called Laurie and
11
00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:40.759
I was like, oh my god, this is proof Bethany
12
00:00:40.920 --> 00:00:44.039
is real. She is real, she was here.
13
00:00:46.439 --> 00:00:50.719
This is missing in Hushtown Season two, Bethany Markowski, Welcome
14
00:00:50.759 --> 00:00:55.200
back Bethany's Brigade to Chapter three. Bethany Missing, not lost.
15
00:00:55.759 --> 00:00:58.640
Throughout this episode, we're going to share stories, interviews, and
16
00:00:58.719 --> 00:01:01.479
memories about Bethany from those who knew her and loved
17
00:01:01.479 --> 00:01:04.640
her best, her sisters, cousins, ants, and of course, her mom,
18
00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:08.560
Johnny Carter. Bethany may be missing for twenty five years now,
19
00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:12.239
but her legacy, her love, and her purpose has never
20
00:01:12.280 --> 00:01:16.280
been lost. Together with her family, we hope to bring
21
00:01:16.280 --> 00:01:19.040
you along the journey to all that is Bethany through
22
00:01:19.079 --> 00:01:21.359
the eyes of all who vowed to find her, and
23
00:01:21.400 --> 00:01:25.239
the impact her disappearance has made on them all. Bethany's
24
00:01:25.239 --> 00:01:28.319
loved ones had just eleven short years with her, and
25
00:01:28.359 --> 00:01:30.920
the trauma they've endured the last twenty five years has
26
00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:34.920
greatly impacted their memories. But through it all, they refuse
27
00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:37.920
to stop telling the world about the girl that Bethany
28
00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:39.120
was to them.
29
00:01:39.319 --> 00:01:44.239
Sometimes you can't turn you can't turn the feelings off
30
00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:47.560
or even down. They're just there and they're going to
31
00:01:47.640 --> 00:01:50.879
come out, no matter how hard you fight back the
32
00:01:50.920 --> 00:01:54.640
tears or the anger or whatever emotion that you're feeling
33
00:01:54.680 --> 00:01:58.400
at that time. And it's so you just don't know
34
00:01:58.439 --> 00:02:00.000
what emotion you're going to get when you start talking
35
00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:02.280
come a aut it either. I mean there's days I
36
00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:05.959
look at Bethanye's picture and she's smiling, and I'll look
37
00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:08.120
at her and I'll smile right back at her, and
38
00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:11.639
those days I'll look at it, the same picture and
39
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:15.000
it rips my heart out and I just can't really
40
00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:15.439
look at it.
41
00:02:16.479 --> 00:02:19.280
I'm your host, Jules. Hey, guys, let's go.
42
00:02:36.759 --> 00:02:57.039
M we start about when she was born. Actually, can
43
00:02:57.080 --> 00:02:58.759
you go back to like pregnancy.
44
00:02:59.639 --> 00:03:04.520
Yeah, yes, I do. I remember finding out. I cried
45
00:03:05.919 --> 00:03:10.479
so yeah, it was. It was a scary time. I
46
00:03:10.520 --> 00:03:13.560
didn't really want to be pregnant, not by Larry, but
47
00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:15.680
I was and happy about it.
48
00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:19.520
According to the National Domestic Abuse Hotland website the hotlane
49
00:03:19.560 --> 00:03:24.120
dot org, quote, abusive relationships are extremely complex situations and
50
00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:26.759
it takes a lot of courage to leave. Abuse is
51
00:03:26.800 --> 00:03:31.159
about power and control. When a survivor leaves their abusive relationship,
52
00:03:31.240 --> 00:03:34.240
they threaten the power and control their partner has established
53
00:03:34.360 --> 00:03:38.360
over the survivor's agency. This often causes the partner to
54
00:03:38.439 --> 00:03:42.639
retaliate in harmful ways. As a result, leaving is often
55
00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:46.439
the most dangerous period of time for survivors of abuse
56
00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:51.280
end quote. Unfortunately, many victims of domestic abuse are blamed, Well,
57
00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:54.400
why didn't you leave? Why would you stay? How could
58
00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:58.840
you allow your daughter in that environment? Johnny, She's a
59
00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:01.800
victim too, and she was doing the best she could.
60
00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:04.840
She was in a constant state of fear of retaliation.
61
00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:08.759
To put it bluntly, she was afraid that leaving Larry
62
00:04:08.759 --> 00:04:12.199
with Bethany would cause Bethany to be harmed, or she'd
63
00:04:12.240 --> 00:04:14.719
never get to see Bethany again. And if Johnny and
64
00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:18.600
Bethany were separated, how could she protect Bethany. She could
65
00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:21.079
take it, she would take it, and if she did,
66
00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:24.519
then maybe he wouldn't turn on Bethany. She was never
67
00:04:24.600 --> 00:04:28.839
going to leave her daughter. When Bethany was born February first,
68
00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:32.240
nineteen ninety, Johnny instantly fell in love her dark hair
69
00:04:32.279 --> 00:04:35.399
and blue green eyes that sparkled. She was loved deeply
70
00:04:35.439 --> 00:04:38.399
by her siblings. Bethany is the youngest of five. She
71
Load full transcript
00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:41.000
has two siblings from Larry's former marriage to a woman
72
00:04:41.079 --> 00:04:44.639
named Sheila, Jenny and Daniel, and two on Johnny's side,
73
00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:45.720
Emily and Kyle.
74
00:04:45.879 --> 00:04:50.279
Bethany was born February first, nineteen ninety. Beautiful baby girl
75
00:04:50.839 --> 00:04:56.120
and silly, funny, sweet kid. I remember when she was little.
76
00:04:56.680 --> 00:04:59.319
She always she would bring me a ponytail holder and
77
00:04:59.399 --> 00:05:01.279
wan her hair put on top of her head and
78
00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:05.360
called her a water spountain. She had this. You could
79
00:05:05.399 --> 00:05:08.560
tell her to make a ugly face, and there's pictures
80
00:05:08.600 --> 00:05:15.439
of it. She would make an ugly face. Just very sweet, silly, funny,
81
00:05:16.519 --> 00:05:21.600
loved everybody, loved everybody. We had some neighbors that was
82
00:05:21.639 --> 00:05:23.839
an elderly couple, so Bethany would get off the school
83
00:05:23.879 --> 00:05:25.680
bus when she got older and stop at their house
84
00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:27.480
and check on and make sure that they were okay.
85
00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:30.680
The other voices you may hear throughout Johnny's interviews are
86
00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:34.040
her sister aunt Laurie, her sister Tommy, and their best
87
00:05:34.040 --> 00:05:37.160
friend Diane. We all sat together one evening and they
88
00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:41.600
took turns telling about Bethany. Sometimes they finish each other's sentences,
89
00:05:41.639 --> 00:05:44.480
sometimes they correct each other, and sometimes they all talk
90
00:05:44.519 --> 00:05:48.360
at once. Their sisterly bond is beautiful, and their nurturing
91
00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:52.240
hearts are contagious. They banter back and forth. We pause
92
00:05:52.279 --> 00:05:54.079
every now and then because one of them has made
93
00:05:54.079 --> 00:05:57.199
a joke that's hard to recover from. Johnny recalls fondly
94
00:05:57.319 --> 00:06:00.199
how Bethany as a toddler was always into some thing
95
00:06:00.279 --> 00:06:04.639
and up to something. That Bethany was very, very very busy.
96
00:06:04.759 --> 00:06:06.079
Here's sister Jenny.
97
00:06:06.319 --> 00:06:07.360
She was everything to me.
98
00:06:07.959 --> 00:06:11.279
We used to have lived beside the church in Sadonia,
99
00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:15.120
and we used to get a sheet, and I used
100
00:06:15.160 --> 00:06:18.879
to make us some mayonnaise and cracker sandwiches and cootlaid
101
00:06:18.959 --> 00:06:21.000
or water, and we'd go down to the church parking
102
00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:24.759
lot and sit under the tree and have picnics together. Me,
103
00:06:24.759 --> 00:06:26.519
me and my brother used to tie up to the
104
00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:32.120
chair and just you know, we used to do what
105
00:06:32.199 --> 00:06:37.360
siblings do. We were eight years apart, so I watched
106
00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:39.720
her a lot. She was just She hung out with
107
00:06:39.759 --> 00:06:43.800
me and my friends a lot. She was just everything
108
00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:44.079
to me.
109
00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:49.360
How would you describe her her personality to everyone who's
110
00:06:49.399 --> 00:06:52.680
never met Bethany if you had to, kind of just
111
00:06:52.759 --> 00:06:56.480
paint a big picture of Okay, Bethany's coming, get ready,
112
00:06:56.519 --> 00:06:57.399
this is what she's like.
113
00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:04.639
She was shot at first, talkative. We both have that problem, goofy,
114
00:07:05.319 --> 00:07:07.759
and we both bit our nails. We both bit our
115
00:07:07.839 --> 00:07:09.160
nails down to nothing.
116
00:07:10.959 --> 00:07:12.360
She was just fun to be around.
117
00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:14.639
She had her whole life ahead.
118
00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:17.439
Ever, I don't know she was so young.
119
00:07:18.040 --> 00:07:19.160
She was just so young.
120
00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:23.199
So many times in these interviews about Bethany, her loved
121
00:07:23.240 --> 00:07:27.399
one will finish talking, but they're not done speaking. You
122
00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:30.720
can almost feel their memories in the yeir hanging there,
123
00:07:31.160 --> 00:07:34.920
playing like a projector screen in front of us. The
124
00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:39.279
quiet isn't still, it's moving pictures filled with a recipe
125
00:07:39.319 --> 00:07:44.879
of nostalgia and grief. Here's Emily, Bethany's older sister, Johnny's daughter.
126
00:07:45.480 --> 00:07:48.680
She was so sweet, so funny, and she had like
127
00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:51.120
these little beanie moon eyes when she smiled, and she
128
00:07:51.160 --> 00:07:54.240
would laugh, and I remember her little Kokahontas room and
129
00:07:54.279 --> 00:07:57.920
she would sing and just the sweetest. She has been
130
00:07:57.959 --> 00:08:01.240
the most part happy considering like what kind of life
131
00:08:01.279 --> 00:08:04.839
she must have lived. You know, I was only there
132
00:08:04.920 --> 00:08:08.519
for a short period of time, you know, every other week,
133
00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:11.839
and so I'm sure things were a lot different whenever
134
00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:14.120
all of the other kids were out of the house.
135
00:08:13.879 --> 00:08:16.560
And it was just them beth Any's siblings on her
136
00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:19.800
mom's I didn't live with Johnny full time. Emily remembers
137
00:08:19.839 --> 00:08:22.160
when Larry and Johnny were together and all the children
138
00:08:22.199 --> 00:08:24.480
would be at the house for weekend visits.
139
00:08:25.040 --> 00:08:28.240
So when my mom and dad separated, all lived with
140
00:08:28.279 --> 00:08:31.759
my mom for a little bit of kindergarten, and then
141
00:08:31.879 --> 00:08:35.159
I ended up moving and with my dad. So I
142
00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:40.519
only
went to my mom and their house every other
143
00:08:40.559 --> 00:08:45.879
weekend for the most part. There were other time frames
144
00:08:45.960 --> 00:08:50.159
where it would be a large larger gap between me going.
145
00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:53.559
I will say that their house was a lot different
146
00:08:53.559 --> 00:08:55.840
from what I was used to at my dad's house.
147
00:08:55.879 --> 00:08:59.080
I just had my own room, a TV, a phone,
148
00:08:59.159 --> 00:09:01.120
and I just kind of do whatever I wanted to do.
149
00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:03.360
But at their house, we had to get up at
150
00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:06.679
like the crack of dawn, all like five of us
151
00:09:06.759 --> 00:09:09.440
kids had to be outside all day long and then
152
00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:10.919
come in like at the end of the day. It
153
00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:12.600
was really weird, like you can only come in to
154
00:09:12.919 --> 00:09:16.440
eat or go to the bathroom. Really strange, but that
155
00:09:16.519 --> 00:09:18.960
was what it was like. I just spent every other weekend.
156
00:09:18.679 --> 00:09:23.000
There, Bethany's sister on Larry's side. Again, Jenny recalls the
157
00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:24.840
heat and being forced to stay outside.
158
00:09:25.440 --> 00:09:27.360
He used to make us sit outside in the summer
159
00:09:27.879 --> 00:09:30.080
if he's so hot outside, and we'd be laying on
160
00:09:30.120 --> 00:09:34.200
the porch like dogs, and you know, at night time.
161
00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:36.799
I remember when they lived in Woodland Mills, he would
162
00:09:36.840 --> 00:09:39.519
put it back then it was just the air conditioning unit,
163
00:09:39.799 --> 00:09:42.480
not like a central heat in air, and it was
164
00:09:42.519 --> 00:09:45.559
in the living room, and he would we would sleep
165
00:09:45.600 --> 00:09:47.519
in the bedroom, beth and he was still in diapers,
166
00:09:48.120 --> 00:09:50.639
and me and my brother and her would sleep on
167
00:09:50.679 --> 00:09:52.679
the bedroom floor when I was there on the weekend,
168
00:09:53.399 --> 00:09:55.919
and he put towels underneath the doors to keep the
169
00:09:55.919 --> 00:09:58.519
air in the living room where him and Johnny slept.
170
00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:02.320
I remember we had a box fan and the window
171
00:10:02.320 --> 00:10:04.759
would be up and it would be so hot. We
172
00:10:05.399 --> 00:10:08.480
just take off our clothes and be just like in
173
00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:11.039
a T shirt and panties or underwear or whatever in
174
00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:12.879
that room, and it would be so hot. Bens Andy
175
00:10:12.919 --> 00:10:14.440
would just be in a diaper and we'd just be
176
00:10:14.519 --> 00:10:16.480
laying there. I'd be laying there at night, just like
177
00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:19.120
rocking her butt like this, like patting her butt, rocking
178
00:10:19.159 --> 00:10:22.000
her with her in her bottle. And I'm sure Larry
179
00:10:22.039 --> 00:10:25.320
would make Johnny stay in the living room and we
180
00:10:25.360 --> 00:10:28.080
would sneak out of the bedroom and like just try
181
00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:30.360
to not to fall asleep in the hallway so he'd
182
00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:32.919
wake up in the morning and zeus. So we'd try
183
00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:35.080
to like sneak out the door into the hall and
184
00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:38.200
get some air and then not fall asleep there to
185
00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:39.200
be back in the bedroom.
186
00:10:40.039 --> 00:10:41.039
Here's EMILYE.
187
00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:44.360
Do you mind going into why you were living with
188
00:10:44.399 --> 00:10:46.559
your dad primarily because I know a lot of people
189
00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:51.120
listening will obviously think that's not the norm to live
190
00:10:51.159 --> 00:10:53.919
primarily with your father. Are you open to going into that?
191
00:10:54.399 --> 00:10:59.720
Sure? I mean I wanted to and they let me. Apparently.
192
00:11:00.120 --> 00:11:03.000
Never it was time to go to court for custody,
193
00:11:03.559 --> 00:11:05.440
I don't think my mom was allowed to show up,
194
00:11:06.440 --> 00:11:07.559
so my dad got custody.
195
00:11:08.679 --> 00:11:11.639
This is correct per Johnny's recollection. Here's Johnny.
196
00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:15.159
When I left and moved to Union City, Tennessee, and
197
00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:17.519
I had an apartment and I was getting a divorce
198
00:11:17.559 --> 00:11:22.039
from my husband, I had custody of both of the kids,
199
00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:24.840
or you know, he got every weekend or every the weekend,
200
00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:28.039
I can't remember. And then when Larry and I got together,
201
00:11:28.559 --> 00:11:31.600
Max's husband got tired of picking the kids up and
202
00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:34.559
me having a black eye, or the kids saying, you know,
203
00:11:34.879 --> 00:11:37.840
we had to go outside and we could hear mama screaming,
204
00:11:38.639 --> 00:11:41.879
and so he took me to court for full custody
205
00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:46.399
of the kids, thank god. And so the court date
206
00:11:46.559 --> 00:11:48.639
came and I wasn't allowed to get out of bed
207
00:11:48.679 --> 00:11:51.679
that day. It really wouldn't have mattered if I'd have
208
00:11:51.720 --> 00:11:52.960
been able to get out of bed. I didn't have
209
00:11:52.960 --> 00:11:54.480
a car, I didn't have a way to go there.
210
00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:58.000
Larry had already sold my car. I was totally one
211
00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:02.039
hundred per dependent on him. But again, it was the
212
00:12:02.039 --> 00:12:07.440
best thing for my kids. Did it devastate me? Absolutely?
213
00:12:08.519 --> 00:12:11.799
I wanted my kids. I love my kids, and we
214
00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:15.279
didn't have a relationship for years. You know, Emily was twelve.
215
00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:19.000
She called to talk
to me one day, and you know,
216
00:12:19.080 --> 00:12:21.639
Larry answered the phone, and he was telling her, you know,
217
00:12:21.759 --> 00:12:24.440
she don't need you, She's got Bethany and all this stuff.
218
00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:27.840
And Emily said, kiss my ass. And I was not
219
00:12:27.879 --> 00:12:32.919
allowed to see my kids for the next five years
220
00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:37.600
until he decided it was okay for Bethany to call
221
00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:38.440
and talk to Emily.
222
00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:40.399
Here's Emily's right collection.
223
00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:44.519
I was in sixth grade, going into seventh grade, and
224
00:12:44.600 --> 00:12:47.120
I wanted to try it for cheerleading, and my mom
225
00:12:47.159 --> 00:12:49.200
and Larry were supposed to have health insurance on me.
226
00:12:49.600 --> 00:12:53.840
So I called and Larry answered the phone. And I
227
00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:56.399
don't know if you just maybe they just didn't have
228
00:12:56.440 --> 00:12:58.600
health insurance on me or something. I have no idea,
229
00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:02.240
but I guess he got pissed and he said to me,
230
00:13:02.759 --> 00:13:05.679
you don't need your mom because you have your stepmom.
231
00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:07.360
I'm not going to say her name, but he said,
232
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:10.120
because you have your stepmom, which I'd never ever said before.
233
00:13:10.559 --> 00:13:13.039
And he said so, and your mom doesn't need you
234
00:13:13.080 --> 00:13:16.919
because she has Bethany. Period. I did not talk to
235
00:13:17.159 --> 00:13:21.759
or see any of them until several months before Bethany
236
00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:28.080
came up missing. She called me on my parents' landline
237
00:13:28.200 --> 00:13:30.879
and was just like, hey, this is Bethany, So we're
238
00:13:30.879 --> 00:13:35.639
like okay, and she came and spent the weekend at
239
00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:38.559
my dad and step mom's house a few weeks later,
240
00:13:38.600 --> 00:13:41.720
I guess it was. And then we just went and
241
00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:44.320
did like I don't know, shopping and stuff like that,
242
00:13:44.480 --> 00:13:47.519
and then they came and picked her up and that
243
00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:48.720
was the last time I.
244
00:13:48.679 --> 00:13:52.639
Ever saw Johnny remembers that last visit Emily had with
245
00:13:52.679 --> 00:13:53.559
Bethany as well.
246
00:13:54.039 --> 00:13:57.120
Emily called me I lost costin to my kids and
247
00:13:57.240 --> 00:13:59.120
which was the best thing in the world that could
248
00:13:59.159 --> 00:14:05.639
have happened to them. And Larry would say, do you
249
00:14:05.639 --> 00:14:08.120
want to do you want to call your kids? And
250
00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:10.399
if I said yeah, then he would be like, why
251
00:14:10.399 --> 00:14:12.120
do you want to call them? They hate you, they
252
00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:14.879
don't have nothing to
do with you. And if I
253
00:14:14.919 --> 00:14:17.720
said no, then what kind of parent are? You don't
254
00:14:17.720 --> 00:14:19.559
even want to talk to your kids. So there was
255
00:14:19.639 --> 00:14:24.320
no right answer at all, and he would do the
256
00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:26.159
same thing, you know, to Bethany, do you want to
257
00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:29.600
call your sister? And Emily and she would just look
258
00:14:29.600 --> 00:14:34.000
over me. But one day, out of the blue, He
259
00:14:34.039 --> 00:14:35.799
looked at Bethany and said, you want to call Emily,
260
00:14:35.799 --> 00:14:37.399
and Bethany, you looked at me, and she just kind
261
00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:39.960
of sugar her head. Yeah, he said, we'll call her.
262
00:14:40.679 --> 00:14:43.519
He called her and talked. Bethany called Emily and talked
263
00:14:43.559 --> 00:14:45.639
to her, and then I talked to her.
264
00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:46.159
And.
265
00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:51.879
Emily asked Bethany could she come and spend the weekend
266
00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:54.759
and Larry said yes, and she went and spent the
267
00:14:54.799 --> 00:14:58.039
weekend with Emily and her dad.
268
00:14:58.759 --> 00:15:03.000
Soon after that visit, Emily's little sister, Bethany would never
269
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:07.159
be seen again. Johnny carries a lot of guilt about
270
00:15:07.159 --> 00:15:08.720
this time in Emily's life.
271
00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:12.360
She didn't understand she was just a kid, you know,
272
00:15:12.440 --> 00:15:15.320
she was twelve years old, or she was younger than that,
273
00:15:15.559 --> 00:15:18.840
and she didn't have a mom. For the first date,
274
00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:21.840
she had her dad, which she did an amazing job.
275
00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:24.559
And that's the guilt that I have to live with.
276
00:15:24.679 --> 00:15:29.720
You know, both Bethany's life and Bethany's disappearance, I simultaneously
277
00:15:29.799 --> 00:15:31.799
shaped everyone's life who loves her.
278
00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:35.799
I mean mistakes every single day, every day, and I'll
279
00:15:35.799 --> 00:15:39.879
own up to him. I will say on record, I
280
00:15:40.039 --> 00:15:42.960
lost my freaking mind. I was thirty eight years old,
281
00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:46.879
and I started drinking and I became pretty much an alcoholic.
282
00:15:47.679 --> 00:15:52.320
And I went to after Bethany had been missing for
283
00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:55.519
like ten years and I had done warm myself and
284
00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:59.480
my family out, I finally went and talk to a psychiatrists.
285
00:15:59.480 --> 00:16:02.600
And you know, one of the first things he told me,
286
00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:07.200
you know, we needed you need sleep. Yeah, I said,
287
00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:09.440
you know, the only time I sleep is when I'm drunk,
288
00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:11.440
and I passed out. And he said, well, that's that's
289
00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:15.600
not sleep, that's not sleep. And you know, he put
290
00:16:15.639 --> 00:16:20.480
me on Ambien and Xenex and adderall and all kinds
291
00:16:20.519 --> 00:16:25.559
of medication. And I took that stuff for like two
292
00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:27.840
or three months, and I just couldn't do it anymore.
293
00:16:28.440 --> 00:16:32.320
It noned me too much. I couldn't it sounds weird.
294
00:16:32.919 --> 00:16:36.960
I couldn't feel the pain, and I needed the pain.
295
00:16:39.080 --> 00:16:41.799
Johnny would spend the next ten years volunteering for the
296
00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:45.440
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, helping other families
297
00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:49.320
of missing children. She poured herself into advocacy and activism.
298
00:16:49.639 --> 00:16:52.600
She knew how isolating it felt to be in their shoes,
299
00:16:52.919 --> 00:16:55.399
and she knew she could help them through her grief
300
00:16:55.480 --> 00:16:58.679
and her pain and everything she had learned by taking
301
00:16:58.720 --> 00:17:00.399
it one day out of time.
302
00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:04.240
So I started volunteering for the National Serphramasius for Children
303
00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:08.519
with a group called Team Hope. And I did that
304
00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:15.319
for I think about ten years, and it, Oh, it
305
00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:20.559
probably sounds crazy. It made me feel like I was
306
00:17:20.759 --> 00:17:25.000
doing something I wasn't looking for my daughter. I mean
307
00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:27.920
I still wasn't. And I took breaks. I did. I
308
00:17:27.960 --> 00:17:33.319
took I had to mentally and physically take breaks. But
309
00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:40.240
I was trying to help other parents because I didn't
310
00:17:40.319 --> 00:17:43.799
have I had my family, and I didn't have anybody
311
00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:47.640
really that had ever been through it. And once I did,
312
00:17:47.759 --> 00:17:50.559
once I talked to somebody that had a missing child,
313
00:17:52.440 --> 00:17:56.880
then I wasn't ashamed to speak the truth. I wasn't
314
00:17:56.920 --> 00:18:02.599
ashamed to tell them all of my crazy thoughts. That
315
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:05.759
you're kind of embarrassed to your family. You don't want
316
00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:10.279
to feel like they're worried for you or anything like that.
317
00:18:12.279 --> 00:18:14.720
And I feel like if I know I did help
318
00:18:14.759 --> 00:18:17.319
one person because she became a Team Hope volunteer and
319
00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:21.640
she got her son back, that it made me made
320
00:18:21.680 --> 00:18:23.759
me feel good, made me feel like I did something
321
00:18:23.960 --> 00:18:28.920
good out of all this bad that happened to Bethany.
322
00:18:29.799 --> 00:18:35.400
I feel like it gave me a purpose.
323
00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:44.359
Yeah, when you're searching for answers at this stage, we
324
00:18:44.839 -->
00:18:49.920
searching for Bethany or are we searching for answers about
325
00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:53.880
what happened for Bethany? Is there a difference and what.
326
00:18:55.599 --> 00:19:00.880
Direction you've been going and now depends on the day.
327
00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:03.680
If Bethany was here with her family today, what would
328
00:19:03.759 --> 00:19:06.319
she be like? Would she have competed in sports like
329
00:19:06.359 --> 00:19:08.759
she wanted to do. Would she have been involved with
330
00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:12.960
animals horses specifically? Would she live near Johnny in Middle
331
00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:15.880
Tennessee or in East Tennessee near her sister Jenny and
332
00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:19.240
brothers Daniel and Kyle. Or would she have traveled the
333
00:19:19.240 --> 00:19:22.119
world and been a free spirit exploring the wonders of
334
00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:24.640
what this beautiful world would have had to offer her.
335
00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:30.000
Trauma rewires brains. It can be cruel and erase memories,
336
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:33.880
making them foggy or replay the worst ones. Bethany was
337
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:37.000
with their family for just eleven years, but she's been
338
00:19:37.039 --> 00:19:40.759
missing for twenty five years. But Bethany was never lost,
339
00:19:41.480 --> 00:19:45.519
she was never forgotten, she was never dismissed, but she
340
00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:50.960
is missing. Each day her family misses her so much
341
00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:53.759
so that what they do day in and day out
342
00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:57.160
is shaped by the absence of Bethany. You'll continue to
343
00:19:57.200 --> 00:20:00.519
hear stories about Bethany throughout the season, and you'll come
344
00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:04.519
to know her throughout her actions, reactions, words, hopes, and dreams.
345
00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:08.279
Bethany loved her family, and it's the same family that
346
00:20:08.359 --> 00:20:12.759
will never never allow Bethany's memory to become lost. No
347
00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:16.039
matter how exhausted, defeated, worn out, or hopeless they may
348
00:20:16.119 --> 00:20:19.119
feel at times, their love for Bethany carries them on
349
00:20:19.160 --> 00:20:23.839
their mission to find Bethany. Leanne Murkowski next time on
350
00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:24.920
Missing in Hushtown.
351
00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:30.559
As it got closer to her going back that week prior,
352
00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:34.400
she seemed one. I don't think she felt good. She
353
00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:35.720
seemed like she had a little bit of fear. I
354
00:20:35.720 --> 00:20:37.799
think she was coming down with something. But too she
355
00:20:37.880 --> 00:20:41.039
was going around to everybody in the house, you know,
356
00:20:41.119 --> 00:20:43.880
even the kids, and saying, you know what if Daddy
357
00:20:43.880 --> 00:20:46.240
didn't bring me back. So I felt like she knew
358
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:48.720
something was going on, that he had done threatened her
359
00:20:48.839 --> 00:20:52.799
or done something because she didn't want to go and Johnny's,
360
00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:55.920
you know, the night before, she's trying to help her
361
00:20:55.960 --> 00:20:58.200
pack her bag, and she was like, well, do you
362
00:20:58.200 --> 00:21:00.440
want to take this? And she was like even that
363
00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:02.799
typical kid thing. No, I don't want that. I don't
364
00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:04.839
like that. I don't like so she and she's like,
365
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:07.440
you have to pack. She said why she didn't want
366
00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:09.799
to go, and she's like, she said, you have to go.
367
00:21:10.279 --> 00:21:10.880
She said, if you.
368
00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:13.400
Don't go, I'm breaking the law, you know, and they'll
369
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:15.880
they'll then they'll take you from me, and then I
370
00:21:15.880 --> 00:21:18.039
won't you know, then I want to you know. She
371
00:21:18.200 --> 00:21:20.559
was like, well, what if he doesn't bring me back?
372
00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:23.400
She said, he has to. He has to bring you back.
373
00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:25.079
He doesn't bring you back, we'll come and get you
374
00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:29.160
and he'll never see you again. And that was and
375
00:21:29.240 --> 00:21:32.359
she said she regrets that so much that she made her.
376
00:21:32.319 --> 00:21:51.680
Go missing in Hushtown. Season two is executive produced in
377
00:21:51.720 --> 00:21:56.160
partnership by Fireeyes Media LLC's Jules Thorpe and Johen Rivera,
378
00:21:56.480 --> 00:22:00.759
as well as mom Cast Productions Rachel Holloway and Heather Northcraft.
379
00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:04.200
The script is written by Jules Thorpe and edited by
380
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:08.559
Heather Northcraft. Project lead is Rachel Holloway and master editing
381
00:22:08.599 --> 00:22:12.240
and audio production is done by John Rivera. Jules Thorpe
382
00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:20.319
is your host. Fireeyes media mom
383
00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:25.319
Haspard raising voices while raising kids.