Fullstendig transkripsjon av My Wild, Quantum, Completely Unfiltered Birth Story That Changed My Life Forever | Ep. 375

opposite and 70 00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:34.759 I was like, so I was crying. I was like, 71 00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:37.879 oh my gosh, okay boy and a girl. And you know, 72 00:04:38.040 --> 00:04:42.319 the likelihood of both of those embryos turning into live 73 00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:47.639 births is a very small percentage. Typically, doctors want you 74 00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:51.319 to have three viable embryos for every one child that 75 00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:55.399 you want to conceive. And so I had never gone 76 00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:59.000 through an embryo transfer at this point, well the first 77 00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:03.439 time around. So the fact that when we transferred Maverick, 78 00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:06.360 he took, and when we transferred live she took and 79 00:05:06.399 --> 00:05:13.680 became our babies is truly a miracle. Like really, I 80 00:05:13.720 --> 00:05:16.639 know so many people that don't have that outcome, and 81 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:20.800 so I believe in these souls wanting to be connected 82 00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:22.120 to you, and it has to be like a very 83 00:05:22.160 --> 00:05:26.040 specific set of DNA and a very specific soul contract. 84 00:05:26.160 --> 00:05:30.800 And these babies were like, we're coming through, baby Mommy. 85 00:05:31.480 --> 00:05:34.759 And I had hoped and prayed that those two embryos 86 00:05:34.759 --> 00:05:39.839 would become our babies, and they did, which is super cool. 87 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:42.519 I can't say enough about Spring Fertility in New York City. 88 00:05:42.560 --> 00:05:46.079 I'm not sponsored by them whatsoever, just had an incredible 89 00:05:46.279 --> 00:05:48.920 experience and I think their world class at what they do. 90 00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:52.639 So if you are struggling to get pregnant and conceive, 91 00:05:52.920 --> 00:05:57.199 I feel you. I was you, and there is help 92 00:05:57.240 --> 00:06:00.319 and amazing doctors out there and it's worth it. So 93 00:06:01.839 --> 00:06:05.879 all right, let's get into it. So from the beginning, 94 00:06:07.079 --> 00:06:10.639 I knew I wanted this birth to be redemptive. I 95 00:06:10.680 --> 00:06:13.759 wanted to go all natural, and I wanted to feel really, 96 00:06:13.800 --> 00:06:18.279 really supported. I wanted to labor at home as long 97 00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:21.000 as possible, like that was my birth plan with Maverick, 98 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:22.839 and that was my birth plan again, just labor at 99 00:06:22.879 --> 00:06:25.519 home for as long as possible and then go to 100 00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:32.279 the hospital already well into active labor. And I also 101 00:06:32.399 --> 00:06:35.000 knew that I wanted a different dula experience. This time, 102 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:38.199 with Maverick's birth, I paid top dollar and felt so 103 00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:42.519 unsupported with my doula. She brought her newborn to my labor. 104 00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:45.720 If you want the full story, listen to Maverick's birth story. 105 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:49.720 Just search my birth story and it'll pop up, or 106 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:54.079 our birth story, I think. AnyWho, my first duela with 107 00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:57.040 Maverick couldn't come to the hospital and I ended up 108 00:06:57.079 --> 00:07:00.439 feeling ultimately pretty abandoned at the time that I really 109 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:04.319 needed her the most. And so this time I found 110 00:07:04.560 --> 00:07:09.879 Morgan more Sorg and she was absolutely life changing. She 111 00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:14.160 believed in me. She advocated the fuck out of everything 112 00:07:14.279 --> 00:07:17.480 for me. She supported me literally every step of the way, 113 00:07:17.639 --> 00:07:21.879 and she spoke belief into my heart and soul. And 114 00:07:21.959 --> 00:07:25.399 my intention was really clear right like, to prepare my body, 115 00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:28.079 my mind, and my spirit to do this naturally. Because 116 00:07:28.120 --> 00:07:30.319 with Maverick, I got to a certain point and then 117 00:07:30.360 --> 00:07:32.680 I got the epidural, which was totally fine and what 118 00:07:32.759 --> 00:07:35.800 I needed in the moment, but I really wanted to 119 00:07:37.279 --> 00:07:40.680 feel everything in this labor. And some of you might 120 00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:44.000 be listening and be like, you're crazy, give me the drugs, 121 00:07:44.839 --> 00:07:49.199 and yeah, I just wanted I wanted that experience in 122 00:07:49.240 --> 00:07:54.040 this life, and so in my third timester, I had 123 00:07:54.079 --> 00:07:56.680 a lot of prep that I was doing spiritual prep. 124 00:07:57.759 --> 00:08:01.160 I was meditating, I was doing pelvic floor exercises, I 125 00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:05.079 was taking gentle birth supplement to soften the cervix and 126 00:08:05.240 --> 00:08:08.439 just prepare for the labor that I was really manifesting, 127 00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:15.879 which was a natural, short, healthy, easeful, spiritual, rock my 128 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:22.759 world type of labor. So I was at my forty 129 00:08:22.759 --> 00:08:27.959 week doctor's appointment and everyone was like texting me all 130 00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:29.879 day like are you dilated? Are you this? Are you 131 00:08:29.879 --> 00:08:31.800 in labor yet? Like you know when people at the end, 132 00:08:31.839 --> 00:08:34.440 people were like my story, views were like up to 133 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:39.240 crazy numbers, numbers that I don't normally have because I 134 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:40.799 think people were like, is she having the baby? Is 135 00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:42.799 she having the baby? So at my forty week appointment, 136 00:08:42.879 --> 00:08:45.879 the doctor checked me, she checked my cervix, and she 137 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:48.799 told me that I was three and a half centimeters dilated. 138 00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:51.360 She's like, my

fingers are touching the top of your 139 00:08:51.360 --> 00:08:54.960 baby's head right now, and she feels really smart. I 140 00:08:55.000 --> 00:09:00.919 was laughing, and I was just so fucking excited because 141 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:03.480 here's the thing. They can check you and you could 142 00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:06.440 be dilated, but it doesn't mean anything. You're not in labor, right, 143 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:09.360 But I knew that I was going to go into 144 00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:12.480 labor very soon. I was already past my due date. 145 00:09:12.600 --> 00:09:16.440 This was the fourteenth, and I was like, this is 146 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:20.799 gonna happen any day. So I felt like it gave 147 00:09:20.840 --> 00:09:22.639 me a head start. I'm like, holy shit, I'm already 148 00:09:22.639 --> 00:09:24.639 three and a half centimeters. Like that's a lot of 149 00:09:24.679 --> 00:09:27.720 work that I had to do before that I didn't 150 00:09:27.759 --> 00:09:30.600 have to do any now. But the thing is about me. 151 00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:35.360 When I am pregnant, I get Braxton Hicks like crazy, 152 00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:38.759 Like I get a ton of brax and Hicks contractions, 153 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:41.600 and some people don't have them at all, but they 154 00:09:41.799 --> 00:09:47.559 actually do something to your uterus. They actually start to 155 00:09:47.559 --> 00:09:52.360 tone your uterus for labor and also soften the cervix 156 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:54.679 like they're doing work inside of your body. And mine 157 00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:59.399 were really intense, and so I was really freaking happy 158 00:09:59.679 --> 00:10:01.320 when she you told me that. So I left that 159 00:10:01.360 --> 00:10:05.440 appointment and I went and had myself a solo lunch, 160 00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:07.279 and I just thought to myself, this could be I 161 00:10:07.320 --> 00:10:09.720 have I found this place because my doctor's office is 162 00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:11.720 an hour away. In the hospital from where I live 163 00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:17.200 is an hour away. So imagine it's fine. So I 164 00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:21.080 found this place. It was like the best Mediterranean food. 165 00:10:21.120 --> 00:10:23.279 It was Kebab's, but instead of a kabab because I'm 166 00:10:23.279 --> 00:10:25.879 gluten free, I got a rice bowl with the lamb, 167 00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:31.080 with the with the Oh my brain postspart on, y'all, 168 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:34.759 it's crazy. I can't think of basic words. Falafel, that's 169 00:10:34.799 --> 00:10:39.559 the word falafel, and feta and kalama la olives. And 170 00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:43.240 I had some tahini and some hummus. Oh my god, 171 00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:46.240 it was so good, and I was like, okay, this 172 00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:48.600 is probably like that was my go to place after 173 00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:50.799 my appointments, and at that point I was going there 174 00:10:50.840 --> 00:10:52.600 once a week because at the end you go once 175 00:10:52.600 --> 00:10:55.519 a week. I was like, this is probably my last 176 00:10:55.559 --> 00:11:00.960 time having this while I'm pregnant. So I had my lunch. 177 00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:03.120 I went to Whole Foods and I thought, you know, 178 00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:05.240 I'm probably gonna be going into labor. So I walked 179 00:11:05.279 --> 00:11:07.279 through Whole Foods and I bought a bunch of food, 180 00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:11.000 a bunch of snacks, and I picked up some roses. 181 00:11:12.039 --> 00:11:15.679 And roses became a really powerful anchor for me in 182 00:11:15.879 --> 00:11:20.720 my first labor, and I would visualize them opening and 183 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:24.360 connect with my body opening and my cervix softening with 184 00:11:24.440 --> 00:11:27.840 the baby moving down, and I would constantly visualize this, 185 00:11:27.960 --> 00:11:30.240 and so I knew for my labor I wanted to 186 00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:33.399 have beautiful roses that were already bloomed and opened, so 187 00:11:33.399 --> 00:11:36.000 I could use that as a really powerful anchor and 188 00:11:36.120 --> 00:11:39.399 visualization technique to open up my body. And roses are 189 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:41.799 SAIDs to hold the highest frequency in the universe, and 190 00:11:41.840 --> 00:11:44.639 I wanted to embody that energy. So I walked through 191 00:11:44.639 --> 00:11:47.240 whole Foods with these roses in my hand. I had 192 00:11:47.240 --> 00:11:49.960 my spiritual playlist in my ears, my birth playlist, and 193 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:54.360 I just felt so ready. I was walking around like dancing, 194 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:57.960 moving my hips and just getting into my zone. Like 195 00:11:58.320 --> 00:11:59.960 I think all of us know what that is for ours, 196 00:12:00.840 --> 00:12:03.639 and for me, it's like listening to really spiritual music 197 00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:07.399 and really tapping into that state of knowing, that state 198 00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:11.000 of being one with God, one with the universe, one 199 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:14.279 with yourself, one with your energy. Like I was really 200 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:19.000 getting super super tapped in and this is like what 201 00:12:19.200 --> 00:12:23.519 I personally needed. And I did the same exact thing before, Maverick, 202 00:12:23.960 --> 00:12:25.559 but I did it in a different way, like this 203 00:12:25.759 --> 00:12:29.200 was like I'm ready, let's go, and with Maverick. I 204 00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:32.360 had a lot of letting go to do. So AnyWho, 205 00:12:33.399 --> 00:12:36.519 I'm walking around Whole Foods kind of like in my 206 00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:43.080 own freaking world, and I really felt like I was 207 00:12:43.080 --> 00:12:47.600 walking towards a portal. I was walking towards transformation, and 208 00:12:47.639 --> 00:12:50.000 I was ready for it. So

on my way home 209 00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:53.120 from Whole Foods and driving an hour, my sister called 210 00:12:53.159 --> 00:12:54.320 me and she said, do you want to go to 211 00:12:54.360 --> 00:12:56.840 dinner tonight? Let's go to Raberts and get crabs. And 212 00:12:56.879 --> 00:13:00.919 I was like okay. So I came home and I said, Dad, 213 00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:03.320 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go have some crabs with Wendy. 214 00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:06.440 And he was like, okay, go ahead, have fun. So 215 00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:12.000 the sweetest freaking signs came the night before my labor started. 216 00:13:12.519 --> 00:13:14.559 So my sister and I we were sitting at the 217 00:13:14.559 --> 00:13:17.240 bar and we were just talking about our dad who 218 00:13:17.240 --> 00:13:20.720 passed away, and he always loved when we were together, 219 00:13:20.960 --> 00:13:24.240 and there was there's so many amazing things happening in 220 00:13:24.279 --> 00:13:26.440 both of our lives, like I'm about to have a baby, 221 00:13:27.159 --> 00:13:30.679 my niece, her daughter just got engaged, and all of 222 00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:34.919 her kids are thriving, and just life is beautiful and 223 00:13:35.039 --> 00:13:37.919 happening and they're planning a wedding, and it's just all 224 00:13:37.919 --> 00:13:43.519 these blessings are happening, and we're sitting there talking about 225 00:13:43.519 --> 00:13:47.240 all this, and two songs came on back to back, 226 00:13:47.600 --> 00:13:50.960 and the first song was My Way by Frank Sinatra, 227 00:13:51.799 --> 00:13:54.840 which was our dad's song. He loved to sing that song. 228 00:13:55.080 --> 00:14:00.039 And right after that song came on his like the 229 00:14:00.120 --> 00:14:02.879 number one song came on, which was Sweet Caroline, which 230 00:14:02.919 --> 00:14:08.480 is like our family's collective sign for him speaking to 231 00:14:08.600 --> 00:14:10.480 us and like letting us know that he's with us. 232 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:13.879 I can't even tell you like all the times that 233 00:14:13.960 --> 00:14:16.639 this song has come on in moments that have been 234 00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:20.639 so undeniable of like he is here, He is here 235 00:14:20.759 --> 00:14:24.039 right now, and he was with us in that moment, 236 00:14:24.120 --> 00:14:27.000 and it was It brought us to tears. We were crying. 237 00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:29.840 It was just so beautiful and I felt like, Okay, 238 00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:34.320 like he he's ready to deliver this baby to me, 239 00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:38.039 and like he recognizes all the blessings and he sees 240 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:40.320 them all happening and he's witnessing them, just not in 241 00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:42.879 the way that we would like him to. He passed 242 00:14:42.919 --> 00:14:47.600 away in twenty twenty, and hearing those songs back to 243 00:14:47.679 --> 00:14:53.919 back were just amazing, and we laughed and we cried 244 00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:57.480 and we had spicy crabs and we just knew that 245 00:14:57.480 --> 00:15:00.120 it would induce labor. And like my sister said the 246 00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:02.480 whole time, these spicy crabs are gonna put you into labor. 247 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:08.279 And it was awesome because like now those that like 248 00:15:08.440 --> 00:15:10.960 moment in time of like us getting crabs. It was 249 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:16.480 just really special sister night, and it freaking put me 250 00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:24.879 into labor. AnyWho, So that night, at three point thirty 251 00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:27.159 eight in the morning, I woke up with like the 252 00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:31.519 biggest surge, the kind that took me out of bed. 253 00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:33.679 I went to the bathroom and I was like, I 254 00:15:33.799 --> 00:15:36.679 must be bleeding right now. It was just such an 255 00:15:36.679 --> 00:15:39.519 intense contraction. I thought it was practice and hicks, but 256 00:15:39.559 --> 00:15:42.360 it was stronger. And I went to the bathroom and 257 00:15:42.399 --> 00:15:46.159 I saw that I lost my mucus plug and early 258 00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:50.039 labor had begun and I was just so amped. I 259 00:15:50.120 --> 00:15:53.480 like saw that. I was like, okay, there's something happened 260 00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:58.679 in here, and what it is is very clear, and 261 00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:02.159 I'm like, okay, I'm probably now four centimeters dilated because 262 00:16:02.200 --> 00:16:06.080 I just lost my freaking muvis plug. So and I 263 00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:09.600 was just excited. Okay, So the contractions that night were 264 00:16:09.679 --> 00:16:11.679 kind of all over the place, like that was at 265 00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:14.240 three thirty eight in the morning, and then until like 266 00:16:14.360 --> 00:16:18.200 seven thirty. They were very spaced out, like I would 267 00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:21.720 have one within thirty minutes, and then another one fifteen minutes, 268 00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:25.879 and then another one forty five minutes. Labor later, very 269 00:16:26.039 --> 00:16:29.240 very sporadic, nothing to write home about, but some of 270 00:16:29.240 --> 00:16:34.480 them were really intense. And I woke up the next morning. 271 00:16:34.519 --> 00:16:38.279 That day was really really peaceful. Maverick had his last 272 00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:43.840 day of camp. We got him off just to camp, 273 00:16:44.600 --> 00:16:49.080 and I called the doula and she came over in 274 00:16:49.120 --> 00:16:52.480 the morning. She wanted to see me have a contraction 275 00:16:52.600 --> 00:16:54.960 and just see how intense they were. So Morgan came over, 276 00:16:55.039 --> 00:16:59.519 and the day was so peaceful, like I was resting, 277 00:16:59.639 --> 00:17:02.200 I was eating, I was getting in the tub, I 278 00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:03.879 was hanging out with my mom my mom,

and I 279 00:17:03.919 --> 00:17:06.279 tried to take a nap. The duela came in the morning. 280 00:17:06.359 --> 00:17:10.519 She broughb my legs, my belly, wee banana muffins, and 281 00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:13.440 she said this is very early and she left and 282 00:17:13.480 --> 00:17:16.559 she's like, I'll come back later if things, you know, intensify, 283 00:17:17.240 --> 00:17:20.160 and I just chilled out. It was such a different 284 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:22.599 vibe than my first labor. I just really trusted the 285 00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:26.839 process and took each contraction as it came throughout the day. 286 00:17:27.640 --> 00:17:30.599 But at no point during the day were my contractions 287 00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:34.759 very very close together, like they were very sporadic throughout 288 00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:38.359 the day, but very intense. And I didn't know this, 289 00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:43.200 but some women don't have patterns in their contractions. They say, like, oh, 290 00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:46.480 when your contractions are five minutes apart or three minutes apart, 291 00:17:46.519 --> 00:17:49.680 come to the hospital. But for me, it was never 292 00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:51.880 like that. Even with Maverick, it was never like that 293 00:17:52.200 --> 00:17:55.079 until the very very very end, like close to the 294 00:17:55.119 --> 00:18:02.920 birth happening. And so around three pm, I just knew. 295 00:18:03.400 --> 00:18:06.480 I couldn't explain it. I just knew it was time 296 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:09.200 to get going to the hospital. And that was one 297 00:18:09.240 --> 00:18:11.200 of my fears during this labor because they say the 298 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:13.960 second time, it does happen quicker. And I didn't want 299 00:18:13.960 --> 00:18:16.279 to stay at home for too long because I wasn't 300 00:18:16.279 --> 00:18:17.880 trying to have a baby in the car, you know, 301 00:18:17.960 --> 00:18:23.480 which does happen. And especially the fact that my doctor's 302 00:18:23.480 --> 00:18:25.640 office or my hospital that I was going to, and 303 00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:28.920 my doctor's office was an hour away, like a true hour. 304 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:34.000 So Todd was out showing houses. My mom was at 305 00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:37.079 the house. I called the Duela back. I called Todd 306 00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:41.559 and I said come home, come over, come home. And 307 00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:45.680 they got here very very quickly. Todd packed the car up, 308 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:50.160 my mom packed snacks, Morgan came back, and when everyone 309 00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:52.440 got here and everything was packed, we left. And it 310 00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:55.720 was perfectly timed so that we missed Maverick getting home 311 00:18:55.759 --> 00:18:58.599 from camp by like two minutes, literally divine timing. He 312 00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:01.559 was about to pull up, and I just didn't want 313 00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:03.720 I didn't want to see him and make him upset 314 00:19:04.039 --> 00:19:05.960 knowing that we were leaving, because that would really have 315 00:19:06.039 --> 00:19:09.880 upset him. So it really worked out, like literally by 316 00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:12.720 two minutes of a difference. We pulled away and he 317 00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:16.759 pulled up, and the car ride was actually fun, like 318 00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:18.799 you think, okay, you're in labor, you have an hour. 319 00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:21.079 The car ride was fun. In between contractions, Haad and 320 00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:24.160 I were laughing, we were blasting my playlist. I was 321 00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:26.799 like recording a video. Okay, we're having a baby, We're 322 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:30.720 on our way, let's have a baby. And we were 323 00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:33.640 just excited that we were about to meet our baby girl. 324 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:37.599 And when I pulled up the GPS on the phone, 325 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:42.079 our arrival time was four forty four PM, So we 326 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:45.559 left for the hospital at like right before three forty five, 327 00:19:45.759 --> 00:19:49.440 and our arrival time was for forty four angel numbers. Okay, 328 00:19:50.279 --> 00:19:52.000 I knew I was being guided, and I'm in a 329 00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:54.720 personal year four numerology y, so it was just like 330 00:19:54.799 --> 00:19:58.880 a lot a lot happening, a lot of a lot 331 00:19:58.880 --> 00:20:01.559 of signs all the time. Signs were occurring. And when 332 00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:04.839 I got to the hospital, they checked me, and I 333 00:20:04.880 --> 00:20:07.519 had no idea where I was and with Maverick. When 334 00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:09.279 I got to the hospital, I was six centimeters and 335 00:20:09.319 --> 00:20:12.640 I was so happy. And when I got here, guess 336 00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:15.640 how much I was. I was eight freaking centimeters dilated. 337 00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:19.480 And I mean, no shade if you don't know, but 338 00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:21.880 you need to be ten centimeters dilated to have a baby. 339 00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:26.799 That's like part of the equation. So Todd didn't know that. 340 00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:30.400 So I had to explain that when I was eight centimeters, 341 00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:32.720 I was one hundred percent a face, which means my 342 00:20:32.759 --> 00:20:37.079 cervix was completely like ready, and baby was stationed at zero, 343 00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:40.319 which was like pretty low in my pelvis, and I 344 00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:42.519 knew she was low because I could feel I could 345 00:20:42.559 --> 00:20:46.039 feel the pressure down there for like weeks and I 346 00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:50.599 just started crying tears of joy, like really so happy, 347 00:20:50.880 --> 00:20:54.559 so excited. I'm like, we're doing this. And with Maverick, 348

00:20:54.680 --> 00:20:58.359 it had taken me days to get there, like to 349 00:20:58.400 --> 00:21:00.599 get to eight centimeters. I was in labor for so long, 350 00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:05.000 and now I was like walking in already so far along. 351 00:21:05.039 --> 00:21:09.960 It just felt really really powerful. And so they rolled 352 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:13.599 me into the room and the duela set up the 353 00:21:13.640 --> 00:21:17.359 diffuser and the twinkle lights and we made it really cozy, 354 00:21:17.400 --> 00:21:20.200 as cozy as you can in a hospital setting, and 355 00:21:20.599 --> 00:21:23.880 I mean it was perfect, Like the room was great, 356 00:21:24.119 --> 00:21:28.400 and my mom was there, Todd was there, Morgan was there, 357 00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:33.200 and she just kept saying to me, I could do this. 358 00:21:33.640 --> 00:21:36.200 She's like, you can freaking do this. Okay, you can 359 00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:38.759 do this. And I had this fear for like a 360 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:40.640 couple of weeks going into it, like I hope that 361 00:21:40.680 --> 00:21:42.599 I don't disappoint her, you know what I mean, Like 362 00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:45.720 I know I can do it, but also what if 363 00:21:45.720 --> 00:21:48.599 I can't? What if I can't do it? And so 364 00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:51.960 we met the nurse and his name was sal which 365 00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:54.680 I loved because my dad's name was Saul. So I'm like, okay, 366 00:21:55.119 --> 00:21:57.599 this is all connected here, and what I really loved 367 00:21:57.720 --> 00:21:59.960 was that the first time around, I didn't have the 368 00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:02.880 doula at the hospital with me, and so the nurses 369 00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:06.799 were really really involved, and now they were kind of 370 00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:11.839 defaulting to Morgan, Like they really respected the doula and 371 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:14.680 like allowed her to coach me, allowed her to work 372 00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:19.519 with me, and kind of just sat back but stepped 373 00:22:19.519 --> 00:22:22.880 in when they were needed. And so I really appreciated that. 374 00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:28.039 And Morgan was just working with me, you know, having 375 00:22:28.079 --> 00:22:31.640 me in different positions for different contractions, and like in between, 376 00:22:31.799 --> 00:22:34.599 I had time, like I had a lot of space 377 00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:37.920 and time to recover from each contraction because they were 378 00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:43.680 still pretty sporadic. And I labored for probably another like 379 00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:46.519 forty five minutes and the doctor came in. She was 380 00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:49.119 with someone else. She finally came in and checked me, 381 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:52.079 and I was still the same. I was still eight centimeters. 382 00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:54.200 I didn't progress at all, and the contractions were getting

383 00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:58.680 even more intense and harder and more challenging, and so 384 00:22:59.880 --> 00:23:04.480 the doctor suggested to break my waters. And basically the 385 00:23:04.519 --> 00:23:06.640 way the nurse described it was like this baby is 386 00:23:06.680 --> 00:23:09.319 looking for an exit, Like it was clear she's kicking down, 387 00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:12.400 she's looking to exit, but the water is like stopping 388 00:23:12.440 --> 00:23:16.799 her from from going like lower in the pelvis. And 389 00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:22.119 so typically when doctors you know, would recommend like an 390 00:23:22.119 --> 00:23:25.799 intervention like that, if you're not that far along, it 391 00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:29.759 could hinder the process. But because I was so far along, 392 00:23:30.519 --> 00:23:32.400 everyone was on the same page that it was going 393 00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:36.079 to speed it up. And Morgan and I talked it over, 394 00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:40.079 and intuitively it was like a full body yes, like yes, 395 00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:43.079 let's break the water. And so the doctor came in 396 00:23:43.319 --> 00:23:47.880 and she broke my water and we were like, okay, 397 00:23:47.880 --> 00:23:50.039 this is showtime. And this is exactly where I got 398 00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:53.519 stuck with Maverick, where like I was eight centimeters and 399 00:23:53.559 --> 00:23:55.839 I asked for the epidural because I couldn't even hold 400 00:23:55.880 --> 00:23:58.200 my body up anymore. I was just laboring for so long. 401 00:23:59.240 --> 00:24:01.279 And so by the the time I got checked into 402 00:24:01.319 --> 00:24:04.759 my room here it was five pm. Like I re 403 00:24:04.920 --> 00:24:07.119 arrived at like four forty four, got all checked in. 404 00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:11.880 Let's just call it five pm forty five minutes later, 405 00:24:13.519 --> 00:24:15.400 let's just say an hour later. They broke my water 406 00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:19.799 at six pm ish. What a crazy, intense, weird sensation 407 00:24:20.359 --> 00:24:23.799 where you just feel the water just crushing out of you. 408 00:24:24.400 --> 00:24:26.920 And so Morgan suggested that I stand up so they 409 00:24:27.000 --> 00:24:29.880 let me stand up and I didn't have an IV 410 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:32.680 or anything, which was awesome. They did put one in 411 00:24:32.680 --> 00:24:35.079 my arm, but I wasn't connected to anything, but they 412 00:24:35.079 --> 00:24:37.599 were monitoring me. So I stood up and Morgan was 413 00:24:37.640 --> 00:24:41.480 hip squeezing me and just helping me through these contractions 414 00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:44.559 that were getting more intense by the moment. I mean, 415 00:24:44.640 --> 00:24:47.599 things went from like zero to sixty really really fast. 416 00:24:48.039 --> 00:24:51.240 And with Maverick, my nurse at the time, told me, 417 00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:54.039 you know you're doing natural. That's amazing. This is when 418 00:24:54.079 --> 00:24:56.319 I before I asked for the epidurl and she's like, 419 00:24:56.359 --> 00:24:58.480 I just want you to know that when your water breaks, 420 00:24:58.880 --> 00:25:02.960 things are going to intense. I like a millionfold, and 421 00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:08.880 I was like, holy shit, it scared me. But this 422 00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:11.759 time I was like, okay, I'm ready, bring it on. 423 00:25:12.039 --> 00:25:17.079 I wasn't scared. And the contractions started to become other 424 00:25:17.240 --> 00:25:22.640 fucking worldly. Like I am telling you, I left my body. 425 00:25:22.799 --> 00:25:25.519 I mean, I was standing there and at this point 426 00:25:25.559 --> 00:25:29.359 Todd was hip squeezing me. My arms were around Morgan's neck. 427 00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:34.160 I was standing up and I felt like I could faint, 428 00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:39.000 throw up, and literally bite take a big bite out 429 00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:42.079 of her neck all at once. It was that intense. 430 00:25:42.839 --> 00:25:46.200 It was so intense. I was like aw like snorting, 431 00:25:47.720 --> 00:25:51.079 And anytime my registry would get like too high. If 432 00:25:51.079 --> 00:25:52.920 I started to yell and I was like getting ah, 433 00:25:53.160 --> 00:25:58.440 like up here, she would tell me go down, root down, 434 00:25:58.599 --> 00:26:01.920 ground down, lower lower lower, and I started to get 435 00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:06.079 more guttural and like go into the and like it 436 00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:09.240 was so freaking primal, Like if you've given birth, you 437 00:26:09.240 --> 00:26:12.400 know what I'm talking about. I mean people say, like, 438 00:26:13.160 --> 00:26:16.000 you know, you get possessed, or like you get you know, 439 00:26:16.079 --> 00:26:19.680 this whole other personality that your husband's literally never seen 440 00:26:19.720 --> 00:26:22.759 comes out. I mean, whatever needs to come out comes out. 441 00:26:23.640 --> 00:26:27.240 And I was still able to take her cues. And 442 00:26:27.279 --> 00:26:29.680 I think that is like the value. There's so much 443 00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:32.640 value in having a doula. So many people I know 444 00:26:32.759 --> 00:26:35.480 don't have dulas, but so many people I know do. 445 00:26:35.720 --> 00:26:40.039 And I do feel like there is so much value 446 00:26:40.079 --> 00:26:43.000 in being coached by a professional. Like obviously, I'm a 447 00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:45.200 firm believer in coaching, and to me, like having a 448 00:26:45.240 --> 00:26:49.519 birth coach was a non negotiable at all, like at 449 00:26:49.559 --> 00:26:54.000 all at all. And this part of the labor was 450 00:26:54.440 --> 00:26:59.440 the most intense part of the labor. I had to 451 00:26:59.720 --> 00:27:04.279 dig so fucking deep in my heart and my soul, 452 00:27:04.440 --> 00:27:09.400 in my body to not run away. And I knew 453

00:27:09.440 --> 00:27:11.799 that there was nowhere to fucking go right, Like I 454 00:27:11.960 --> 00:27:14.000 wasn't about to get an abitural at that moment. It 455 00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:15.920 was just too intense, like it was too late at 456 00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:18.799 that point, it was I didn't even ask for one. 457 00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:21.839 It was just like in my mind that the only 458 00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:26.000 way out was through. And it's funny because we read 459 00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:28.119 this book to Maverick. It's called Going on a Bear Hunt. 460 00:27:28.119 --> 00:27:30.559 It's kind of like a classic, and it's about a 461 00:27:30.599 --> 00:27:32.880 family who's like, can't go over it, can't go under, it, 462 00:27:32.920 --> 00:27:34.759 got to go through it. And it's like going through 463 00:27:34.799 --> 00:27:37.079 the forest, going through the river, going through the snowstorm, 464 00:27:37.119 --> 00:27:40.079 going through the cave. And I was like I was 465 00:27:40.079 --> 00:27:42.160 going through the cave and I was meeting the bear. 466 00:27:42.839 --> 00:27:45.160 And if you know the book, you know the book. 467 00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:59.200 But it was the most invigorating, fucking like deep moment 468 00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:02.799 of like on support. I was fully supported by Todd, 469 00:28:02.839 --> 00:28:05.359 by my mom. My mom was holding my hands in 470 00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:11.359 between these contractions and it was just so beautiful and 471 00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:13.519 so it was just insane. It was just insane. And 472 00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:17.519 I looked at Morgan and I was just like, I 473 00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:19.119 don't know how I'm gonna do this right now. I 474 00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:21.519 don't know how I can handle another one of those contractions. 475 00:28:21.559 --> 00:28:24.559 And she looked at me and she said, which is 476 00:28:24.599 --> 00:28:27.559 exactly what I needed to hear. And this, let me 477 00:28:27.599 --> 00:28:30.559 just preface before I say it. This is never something 478 00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:33.079 that I would think to say to someone in a 479 00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:38.000 coaching scenario, but it was exactly what I needed to 480 00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:40.279 hear in that moment. And she looked at me dead 481 00:28:40.279 --> 00:28:44.720 in the eyes and she said, Ashley, it's okay if 482 00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:50.039 this breaks you right now. And I was like, you're right, 483 00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:54.759 it is okay. Like I'm breaking through, like I'm literally 484 00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:58.039 breaking through. And in that moment, I just let go. 485 00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:02.519 I allowed the breakdown, and on the other side, I 486 00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:08.359 felt the breakthrough. I felt just everything happened at once, 487 00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:12.039 and I felt the baby literally drop right into my pelvis. 488 00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:16.839 And in reflection of this moment, I understand why women 489 00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:20.480 were built to birth, because when I was on my 490 00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:23.680 epidural the first time, I couldn't feel any of this, 491 00:29:24.440 --> 00:29:28.400 and like, your body actually needs to be informed on 492 00:29:28.559 --> 00:29:32.480 where the baby is, Like you can feel everything for 493 00:29:32.640 --> 00:29:36.559 a reason, because that will inform you on your pushing, 494 00:29:37.079 --> 00:29:41.200 right because it's like pushing with the light on versus 495 00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:43.519 the light off. Right when I was had my epidural, 496 00:29:43.559 --> 00:29:45.119 I felt like I was in the darkness and I 497 00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:48.400 couldn't I didn't know what was happening or when this 498 00:29:48.519 --> 00:29:51.920 baby was coming out. Two hours and forty minutes, that's 499 00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:55.319 how long the pushing took with Maverick, and with her, 500 00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:59.440 I felt everything, so I knew where she was and 501 00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:02.039 how much work I needed to do and how big 502 00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:04.880 of a push I needed to do, and like it 503 00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:07.599 informs so much. It's like pushing with the light on, 504 00:30:07.759 --> 00:30:10.400 like you just know where to go, what to do, 505 00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:13.440 how how intense it needs to be. It's just so 506 00:30:13.599 --> 00:30:18.240 intelligent the body, and it's just fucking insane. And so 507 00:30:20.599 --> 00:30:24.000 that was at like seven twenty, right when the baby 508 00:30:24.039 --> 00:30:26.119 dropped into the pelvis, and I was like, oh my god, 509 00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:29.160 Oh my gosh, I think I feel like I'm gonna 510 00:30:29.160 --> 00:30:32.240 fucking push right now. And I was standing up still, 511 00:30:32.920 --> 00:30:37.039 and so I jumped on the bed and most of 512 00:30:37.079 --> 00:30:39.799 the time throughout the entire experience, I was laboring on 513 00:30:39.880 --> 00:30:42.240 my hands and knees like I was in this like 514 00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:44.400 you know the cat, you know when you're on, you're 515 00:30:44.440 --> 00:30:46.119 on your hands and knees. Like that's how I was 516 00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:49.799 laboring the entire time. Any contraction I had, I was 517 00:30:49.839 --> 00:30:51.599 on my hands and knees. And that was a lot 518 00:30:51.640 --> 00:30:54.519 of the coaching from Morgan, she told me. Even like 519 00:30:54.839 --> 00:30:56.880 for my birth prep every night, I would get on 520 00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:59.160 my hands and knees and listen to a meditation and 521 00:30:59.160 --> 00:31:01.200 get into that zone of like, this is my normal 522 00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:04.079 position and I feel safe here. She said. The more 523 00:31:04.119 --> 00:31:07.160 you get into that position before you give birth, the 524

00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:09.680 safer your body feels in that position when you're in labor, 525 00:31:09.680 --> 00:31:13.880 which makes a lot of sense to me. So that's 526 00:31:13.880 --> 00:31:17.880 how I labored most of the time. And a huge 527 00:31:17.960 --> 00:31:21.160 difference too, was like Todd was so present for this 528 00:31:21.279 --> 00:31:24.200 labor for Maverick, it was so long, and it was 529 00:31:24.319 --> 00:31:26.880 we were up for two nights, three nights in a row. 530 00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:31.200 He was exhausted. He didn't really know how to support 531 00:31:31.240 --> 00:31:34.759 me fully. And I do feel like this time around 532 00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:38.319 he was just with me one hundred percent. And so 533 00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:40.480 when I told the nurse that I felt the baby 534 00:31:40.559 --> 00:31:45.200 drop into my pelvis, I jumped. She was like, get 535 00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:46.799 on the bed because they don't want you. They don't 536 00:31:46.799 --> 00:31:48.839 want you to have a baby on the drop onto 537 00:31:48.920 --> 00:31:51.559 the floor at the hospital room. It's not safe. So 538 00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:54.000 the nurse outed at me to get on the bed. 539 00:31:54.200 --> 00:31:58.839 So I climbed up, hands and knees, and in this moment, 540 00:31:59.400 --> 00:32:01.920 the bed was like half up right, so the back 541 00:32:01.960 --> 00:32:03.960 of the bed was up, so I'm holding onto the 542 00:32:03.960 --> 00:32:06.359 back of the bed, but I'm holding on Todd was 543 00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:11.839 back there and I'm holding onto his shoulders. Morgan jumps 544 00:32:11.839 --> 00:32:16.039 on the bed behind me and she's hip squeezing me. 545 00:32:16.160 --> 00:32:19.680 But before she started to hip squeeze me, she did 546 00:32:19.720 --> 00:32:24.279 something that I have watched countless, like tiktoks on and 547 00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:27.559 reels on where they always say, when you're in labor, 548 00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:32.680 make sure to tilt your knees inward, not outward. Like 549 00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:35.200 when you're in labor and you're laying on your back 550 00:32:35.240 --> 00:32:39.279 and you're about to push, your knees are like out 551 00:32:39.640 --> 00:32:44.240 not in and that actually closes your pelvis. And I 552 00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:46.480 always said to myself, I want to remember this, I 553 00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:48.559 want to remember this, but in the moment, you just 554 00:32:48.640 --> 00:32:52.200 don't remember that. And so it was crazy because Morgan 555 00:32:52.759 --> 00:32:58.960 was so present. She immediately tilts my knees inward, and 556 00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:01.640 I was like, she's so fucking smart, like thank you, 557 00:33:01.799 --> 00:33:05.960 like yes, And when she did that, I got the biggest, 558 00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:09.519 like Charlie Horse cramp in my right butt cheek and 559 00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:12.440 it was like I couldn't. I had to address that 560 00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:17.119 because it was really really bad. So the nurse very 561 00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:20.920 intuitively just starts massaging the shit out of my right 562 00:33:20.920 --> 00:33:23.359 butt cheek. And I have a new nurse at this point. 563 00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:27.720 She was awesome. Her name is Michelle, and she like 564 00:33:27.839 --> 00:33:30.519 got the cramp out immediately. It was just like very cool, 565 00:33:30.720 --> 00:33:33.359 just that she knew exactly what I needed in that moment. 566 00:33:33.519 --> 00:33:35.839 And it was perfect timing because a contraction was about 567 00:33:35.880 --> 00:33:39.480 to hit, so I like bore down into this contraction 568 00:33:40.440 --> 00:33:46.599 and I gave my first huge push, and let me 569 00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:49.680 tell you, I literally felt half her head come out. 570 00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:52.160 Half of her freaking head came out during that push. 571 00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:55.720 One push, and then I started feeling the ring of 572 00:33:55.759 --> 00:33:58.839 fire come on, which I felt with Maverick because I 573 00:33:58.839 --> 00:34:01.160 don't know, like you can still feel the ring of fire. 574 00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:03.920 And they were oiling me up with Maverick oiling me up, 575 00:34:04.359 --> 00:34:07.119 and this was all happening so fast they had to 576 00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:09.679 call the doctor in. Took her a minute to come in, 577 00:34:10.280 --> 00:34:12.800 and I was screaming. I was like, oil me up, 578 00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:15.000 oil me up, because I could feel the ring of 579 00:34:15.039 --> 00:34:21.159 fire just like coming on so strong, and it's crazy 580 00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:26.079 because the feeling of that ring of fire is nothing 581 00:34:26.599 --> 00:34:29.519 compared to the contractions that I had just lived through, 582 00:34:29.960 --> 00:34:32.159 Like it was crazy. So I was just like I 583 00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:34.360 was cool with the ring of fire, but I was like, 584 00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:37.119 oil me up, because it makes a difference. And so 585 00:34:37.239 --> 00:34:41.639 that one push, half of her head came out. Morgan 586 00:34:41.679 --> 00:34:44.679 coached me again to like drop my screams into my gut, 587 00:34:45.239 --> 00:34:48.760 not high pitch, but like lo that guttural primal and 588 00:34:48.880 --> 00:34:55.760 it worked, and the next push, I squeezed the shit 589 00:34:55.840 --> 00:34:58.360 out of Todd's shoulders like I probably dug my nails 590 00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:01.360 into him. The next push, her entire head came out, 591 00:35:01.679 --> 00:35:03.599 and I was like, oh my god, like this is 592 00:35:03.719 --> 00:35:06.760 fucking happening right now, Like this is crazy. She's like, actually, 593 00:35:06.760 --> 00:35:09.239 you're doing it, You're doing it, You're doing it. And 594 00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:12.440 the I knew that I had one

more push, I 595 00:35:12.519 --> 00:35:14.000 was like, her body has to come out, like I 596 00:35:14.079 --> 00:35:17.800 knew that that was it. Intuitively, I knew one more 597 00:35:17.880 --> 00:35:20.320 push and she was going to be here, and so 598 00:35:20.519 --> 00:35:23.159 I am squeezing to her like I did not give 599 00:35:23.199 --> 00:35:27.199 a shit how how much pain it was going to be, 600 00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:29.000 because I knew it was all going to be over. 601 00:35:29.360 --> 00:35:31.000 It was all going to be over, because she was 602 00:35:31.039 --> 00:35:33.760 going to come out, and it just instantly fades away. 603 00:35:34.119 --> 00:35:40.920 I did the most ferocious, primal push you could ever imagine. 604 00:35:41.119 --> 00:35:49.239 I screamed as she came out. She came out, and 605 00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:51.480 I was on my hands and knees, and the doctor 606 00:35:51.599 --> 00:35:54.719 was like, look down, and she literally handed me the 607 00:35:54.760 --> 00:35:58.840 baby through my legs and I was just holding this 608 00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:01.159 baby in my arm since she was here, and I 609 00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:04.039 was just every we were all just freaking out, like 610 00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:07.880 the doctors, the nurses and my mom, Morgan tab we 611 00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:10.440 were all just like, oh my god, oh my god. 612 00:36:11.360 --> 00:36:14.039 I'm gonna play a little video clip from that moment 613 00:36:14.199 --> 00:36:18.760 because my mom actually recorded it, or I forget who 614 00:36:18.800 --> 00:36:20.800 recorded it, maybe Morgan did. I don't even know, but 615 00:36:20.840 --> 00:36:22.079 I'm gonna play a clip from it. 616 00:36:24.559 --> 00:36:41.599 Oh my god, Oh my god, you cried right away. 617 00:36:40.039 --> 00:36:45.079 I told you you're amazing. 618 00:36:46.079 --> 00:36:53.400 Okay, And if you listen back, you hear Morgan just 619 00:36:53.440 --> 00:36:55.440 say I told you you can fucking do it. I 620 00:36:55.480 --> 00:36:59.880 told you, I told you, and like, uh, oh my god. 621 00:37:00.119 --> 00:37:04.199 Like the oxytocin and the level of just like pure 622 00:37:04.599 --> 00:37:10.039 awe and just pure bliss that you feel in a 623 00:37:10.079 --> 00:37:15.199 moment like that is just what life is about. It's 624 00:37:15.239 --> 00:37:18.679 just what life is about. It's like the peakest of 625 00:37:18.719 --> 00:37:22.280 peak moments you could ever experience. And I'm so blessed. 626 00:37:22.320 --> 00:37:26.000 And so we got to the hospital at five PM 627 00:37:26.039 --> 00:37:29.280 and she was born at seven thirty one. I started 628 00:37:29.320 --> 00:37:32.599 pushing at like seven twenty and she was born at 629 00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:36.760 seven thirty one. Live Sky Gordon came out. And I 630 00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:45.039 was an absolute shock, Like I just can't believe it. It 631 00:37:43.679 --> 00:37:48.199 was just so primal and it was

the most redemptive, beautiful, 632 00:37:48.280 --> 00:37:55.639 empowering moment of my life. And it was really powerful. 633 00:37:55.719 --> 00:37:59.679 And so she had a shorter ambolical cord. And one 634 00:37:59.760 --> 00:38:02.400 of these that was really, really really important to me 635 00:38:02.639 --> 00:38:04.280 was like I wanted her to get all of her 636 00:38:04.280 --> 00:38:08.159 cord blood, and with Maverick like delayed cord clamping in 637 00:38:08.199 --> 00:38:10.639 the hospitals like four or five minutes, and I that 638 00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:13.599 just wasn't cool with me. I wanted like a solid 639 00:38:13.599 --> 00:38:18.239 twenty thirty minutes of being you know, connected and having 640 00:38:18.280 --> 00:38:21.159 her get all that blood. And so that's another important 641 00:38:21.159 --> 00:38:23.880 reason why Dula is so key is because she was 642 00:38:23.920 --> 00:38:26.760 the one communicating with the doctor like this is what 643 00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:29.679 my wishes, her wishes are, and you know, can she 644 00:38:29.719 --> 00:38:32.599 stay connected to the placenta, and like, let this happen 645 00:38:33.719 --> 00:38:37.599 before we deliver the placenta. So I turned around because 646 00:38:37.599 --> 00:38:38.880 I was on my hands and knee, so I turned 647 00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:41.440 around and they let me stay connected for like fifteen 648 00:38:41.480 --> 00:38:44.719 twenty minutes, I think, and I got to birth my 649 00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:48.880 placenta naturally, which was really beautiful, and I didn't tear 650 00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:52.000 at all. I needed no stitches. I just had a 651 00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:55.480 tiny abrasion that healed on its own. And when the 652 00:38:55.480 --> 00:38:59.719 baby came out, she was covered in vernex, which is 653 00:38:59.719 --> 00:39:02.920 that creamy protective coating. And that was another one of 654 00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:05.920 my like birth preferences was I wanted to keep the 655 00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:08.199 vernux on her because there's a lot of benefits to 656 00:39:08.239 --> 00:39:11.360 the vernic staying on and just like absorbing into the skin. 657 00:39:12.440 --> 00:39:14.599 So I asked them not even to wipe her, no bath, 658 00:39:14.679 --> 00:39:18.159 no nothing, and she was just covered in the in 659 00:39:18.199 --> 00:39:20.039 the vernux, and I loved it. It was like so 660 00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:22.119 cool because Maverick actually didn't have a lot of that 661 00:39:22.239 --> 00:39:25.159 on him. So I'm really glad she got to have 662 00:39:25.199 --> 00:39:28.320 that soak into her skin, and when we did skin 663 00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:33.000 to skin, she immediately latched onto my breast while still 664 00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:36.719 connected to the placenta. It was just so instinctive. It 665 00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:39.760 was perfect. It was really perfect. The whole room was 666 00:39:39.800 --> 00:39:42.880 just crying. My doula kept whispering to me like I 667 00:39:42.920 --> 00:39:46.159 knew you could do it. You're so powerful. And the 668 00:39:46.239 --> 00:39:49.320 doctor even said, like we've seen so many berths and 669 00:39:49.360 --> 00:39:51.840 that was just really beautiful, and it was. It was 670 00:39:51.880 --> 00:39:58.679 just really really beautiful birth. And wow, the bliss that 671 00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:01.199 I felt in the golden hour, And like I made 672 00:40:01.239 --> 00:40:04.119 a joke immediately after, I was like, Okay, I'm ready 673 00:40:04.159 --> 00:40:06.800 for plates. I'm ready to go to pilates now. Like 674 00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:10.119 I mean, it's just such a different experience, like having 675 00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:13.159 the boat, the two experiences of an epidural versus not. 676 00:40:13.519 --> 00:40:16.599 So it's like night and day. And I just want 677 00:40:16.599 --> 00:40:18.800 to pause here for a moment because I want to 678 00:40:18.840 --> 00:40:24.880 really honor my husband. He was really the most incredible partner. 679 00:40:25.239 --> 00:40:27.239 He was so present, He was so steady. He was 680 00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:32.599 so supportive, from hip squeezing to pack in the car 681 00:40:32.719 --> 00:40:35.639 to holding space for me at literally every stage, just 682 00:40:35.719 --> 00:40:38.960 stepping up and like taking care of Maverick when I 683 00:40:39.039 --> 00:40:44.519 was super super pregnant and like couldn't even move, and 684 00:40:44.559 --> 00:40:49.039 then watching him hold his daughter for the first time, 685 00:40:51.119 --> 00:40:57.360 doing a skin to skin I don't really have like 686 00:40:57.440 --> 00:40:59.920 the words to explain it, but I just remember when 687 00:40:59.920 --> 00:41:03.199 we were struggling so hard to get pregnant, like I 688 00:41:03.400 --> 00:41:06.760 just wanted him to be a father, Like I just 689 00:41:06.800 --> 00:41:11.639 wanted to make him a dad, and he's really the best, 690 00:41:11.679 --> 00:41:17.599 best dad. There's really no words to explain like what 691 00:41:17.639 --> 00:41:21.960 your heart feels when you can make your partner a 692 00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:25.239 mom or a dad. It's just like really really such 693 00:41:25.239 --> 00:41:31.320 a gift that like you can give someone And there's 694 00:41:31.360 --> 00:41:35.039 just no words for how your heart expands when you 695 00:41:35.079 --> 00:41:38.760 welcome another baby into the world. That night in the hospital, 696 00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:41.599 just the three of us and our little bubble before 697 00:41:41.639 --> 00:41:45.559 going home and like connecting as a family of four, 698 00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:50.360 it was just so sacred and it was the sweetest transition, 699 00:41:51.000 --> 00:41:53.800 really really was. And so after we got settled into 700 00:41:53.920 --> 00:41:59.199 our new room, Morgan went home and like it was 701

00:41:59.239 --> 00:42:00.559 great because she was going to be home at a 702 00:42:00.559 --> 00:42:02.920 reasonable hour. It wasn't like an all night thing, which 703 00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.000 was I was happy. I was happy for that for 704 00:42:05.079 --> 00:42:07.840 her and my mom went home to get some rest, 705 00:42:07.960 --> 00:42:09.400 and she knew she was going to help out with 706 00:42:09.400 --> 00:42:11.760 Maverick the next day until we came home from the 707 00:42:11.760 --> 00:42:15.239 hospital the next morning. Before the sun even came up, 708 00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.840 I was like in this half a week half dream state, 709 00:42:18.679 --> 00:42:21.559 live was sleeping on my chest and the room was 710 00:42:21.639 --> 00:42:25.159 just completely still, and a nurse came in quietly to 711 00:42:25.199 --> 00:42:28.519 take my vitals and I asked her what her name was, 712 00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:33.239 and she smiled and she said, it's surely and I 713 00:42:33.320 --> 00:42:37.599 froze because Shirley was my grandmother's name. She was my bubby, 714 00:42:38.519 --> 00:42:41.920 my mom's mom, who passed away in twenty fourteen. And 715 00:42:41.960 --> 00:42:44.000 I looked at her and I said, oh my god, 716 00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:49.360 my grandmother's name was Shirley. And she kind of laughed 717 00:42:49.360 --> 00:42:53.039 politely and she said, my grandmother's name was Shirley, and 718 00:42:53.159 --> 00:42:59.079 I'm named after her. And I was just feeling my 719 00:42:59.079 --> 00:43:03.920 grandmother's presence so strongly, like my grandmother had literally stepped 720 00:43:03.960 --> 00:43:07.000 into the room through this nurse to say I'm here, 721 00:43:07.400 --> 00:43:10.440 I'm with you. And I instantly felt this just like 722 00:43:10.519 --> 00:43:14.519 big wave of emotion and gratitude and awe in chills, 723 00:43:14.559 --> 00:43:17.039 and I just looked down and live and thought about 724 00:43:17.159 --> 00:43:21.800 my mom, and I just felt the lineage right, the 725 00:43:21.840 --> 00:43:25.199 thread of women, my grandmother, my mom, me, my daughter, 726 00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:29.000 just like all linked together. And I had done so 727 00:43:29.159 --> 00:43:31.360 much in her work during this pregnancy to heal my 728 00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:35.960 relationship with my mom, to soften the wounded feminine patterns 729 00:43:35.960 --> 00:43:39.880 in our family line, and in that moment, I just 730 00:43:39.960 --> 00:43:42.800 knew my Bubby was acknowledging it, and I felt like 731 00:43:42.840 --> 00:43:47.360 she was saying, you did it. You healed something big, 732 00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:51.079 You opened the door for this new energy to come through, 733 00:43:51.440 --> 00:43:55.199 And it was just so full circle for me, almost 734 00:43:55.199 --> 00:43:59.000 like her spirit was just blessing this next chapter, this 735 00:43:59.039 --> 00:44:02.840 next generation of in our family, because I also like 736 00:44:02.920 --> 00:44:06.599 saw this this TikTok I think, and it just resonated 737 00:44:06.639 --> 00:44:09.320 with me so much where someone said if you have 738 00:44:09.400 --> 00:44:13.000 a boy first and then you have a girl, that 739 00:44:13.159 --> 00:44:17.719 boy kind of closes the chain on the lineage and 740 00:44:17.400 --> 00:44:24.159 the girl that you have next starts a new healing 741 00:44:24.239 --> 00:44:28.360 cycle in your lineage, and just was like, whoa. It 742 00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:32.400 just resonated so much that morning as the light started 743 00:44:32.400 --> 00:44:34.920 pouring through the hospital window and I just stared at 744 00:44:34.920 --> 00:44:38.679 my daughter, just still in disbelief that I now have 745 00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:43.559 a daughter and she's finally here and I literally dreamt 746 00:44:43.599 --> 00:44:48.719 about this moment, Like after I had Maverick, I just 747 00:44:49.000 --> 00:44:52.719 thought about that other embryo, that other girl embryo that 748 00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:55.519 we had. I thought about her every single day, Like 749 00:44:55.639 --> 00:44:58.800 every single day I thought about her, and she was 750 00:44:59.079 --> 00:45:05.320 finally here, and I just realized how profoundly this birth 751 00:45:05.599 --> 00:45:10.000 changed me. After two rounds of IVF, after years of 752 00:45:10.039 --> 00:45:14.800 waiting and hoping and healing, I finally experienced birth in 753 00:45:14.840 --> 00:45:17.639 the exact way I always dreamed of. And it was 754 00:45:17.679 --> 00:45:22.719 just so present and lighthearted and natural and fully embodied 755 00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:28.480 and fully awake. It was redemptive, It was healing. It 756 00:45:28.519 --> 00:45:33.719 was proof that I could trust myself completely. And like 757 00:45:33.960 --> 00:45:38.400 years of going through impertility and IVF, like you start 758 00:45:38.480 --> 00:45:41.519 to like not trust yourself and not trust your body anymore. 759 00:45:42.679 --> 00:45:46.519 And this was just so healing and like I feel 760 00:45:46.519 --> 00:45:49.800 like it closed the chapter of that like disbelief in 761 00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:54.039 myself and in my body and healed so much of 762 00:45:54.079 --> 00:45:59.400 that like old story that I had. And this time 763 00:45:59.519 --> 00:46:03.440 I wasn't fighting my body. I was just in partnership 764 00:46:03.480 --> 00:46:06.519 with it. And during this like labor and birth experience, 765 00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:14.039 I just I realized that like I didn't need control, 766 00:46:14.400 --> 00:46:16.519 I didn't need to try to have control. I wasn't 767 00:46:16.559 --> 00:46:20.639 trying to control anything. I was surrendering and allowing and trusting. 768 00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:27.199 And that changed me on a cellular level. And it's like, 769 00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:32.519 of course, we want to always find that surrender

within ourselves, 770 00:46:32.519 --> 00:46:35.599 and like these are age old lessons like surrender and 771 00:46:35.639 --> 00:46:40.920 trust and allowing and being embodied. All of these things 772 00:46:41.000 --> 00:46:43.760 we all know, but we don't know them until we 773 00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:46.480 get them on a cellular level. And that's what happened 774 00:46:46.559 --> 00:46:50.239 during this experience, where all of these lessons became solely 775 00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:58.559 embodied in my being. And this labor, this birth, this 776 00:46:58.719 --> 00:47:02.440 storyed me. Like it really has changed me on a 777 00:47:02.480 --> 00:47:05.239 cellular level. I didn't feel like the same person the 778 00:47:05.280 --> 00:47:10.320 next moment after it happened. I'm not the same woman 779 00:47:10.480 --> 00:47:13.920 that I was before this experience. It just cracked me 780 00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:16.880 open and has rebuilt me. And one of the biggest 781 00:47:16.880 --> 00:47:23.679 things that it healed for me was my fear of disappointment. Okay, 782 00:47:24.960 --> 00:47:27.960 I have this fear of disappointing people. And I said 783 00:47:27.960 --> 00:47:29.719 it earlier where I was like, I'm afraid that I'm 784 00:47:29.719 --> 00:47:32.000 going to disappoint my duel if I don't go natural right, 785 00:47:32.119 --> 00:47:35.880 Like it's a fear of disappointment in a lot of 786 00:47:35.880 --> 00:47:39.679 different ways, of disappointing others, of disappointing myself, And it 787 00:47:39.760 --> 00:47:43.559 showed me that every fear I had was just an 788 00:47:43.599 --> 00:47:48.079 invitation to trust deeper. And a psychic once told me 789 00:47:48.840 --> 00:47:53.039 palm Rader, actually psychic palm Rader pretty well world renowned. 790 00:47:53.519 --> 00:47:56.039 She told me, your greatest disappointments will come from your 791 00:47:56.079 --> 00:47:59.480 own mind. And I think about that a lot, because 792 00:48:00.440 --> 00:48:06.760 in this birth I proved the opposite. My greatest triumph 793 00:48:06.920 --> 00:48:10.440 it came from my own mind too. I believed in 794 00:48:10.480 --> 00:48:13.800 myself so deeply that I created the experience that I 795 00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:17.800 always wanted. And I think that's a lesson for all 796 00:48:17.800 --> 00:48:21.199 of us to hear. Like, I'm not special in that, right, 797 00:48:21.239 --> 00:48:25.360 When you believe in yourself so deeply with whatever you 798 00:48:25.400 --> 00:48:28.119 want to be creating whatever you want to do, whether 799 00:48:28.159 --> 00:48:31.760 it's having a natural childbirth or building your dream business 800 00:48:31.880 --> 00:48:38.000 or whatever it is, it doesn't matter. You can do it. 801 00:48:39.320 --> 00:48:41.679 You can do it. When you believe in yourself that much, 802 00:48:41.760 --> 00:48:47.079 you create the experience you desire. And as I look 803 00:48:47.079 --> 00:48:49.760 at my daughter and

at Todd, and at our family 804 00:48:49.840 --> 00:48:53.000 now at Maverick, I just feel this unshakeable knowing that 805 00:48:54.519 --> 00:48:58.559 I can literally do fucking anything. It just instilled me 806 00:48:58.639 --> 00:49:01.280 with that belief in myself. And I felt like I 807 00:49:01.360 --> 00:49:05.800 had that before. I knew it in my head, but 808 00:49:05.960 --> 00:49:08.320 now I have it in my body. And there's a 809 00:49:08.360 --> 00:49:13.519 difference because once you've walked through something like that, once 810 00:49:13.559 --> 00:49:16.760 you've met yourself in that level of power and surrender, 811 00:49:16.920 --> 00:49:19.920 there's just really nothing that you can't prick and do. 812 00:49:20.440 --> 00:49:24.400 We're always so much more powerful than we even know 813 00:49:24.519 --> 00:49:27.079 or give ourselves credit for. You can do anything that 814 00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:30.320 you set your mind to. And so whatever season you're in, 815 00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:34.079 whether it's pregnancy or postpartum or just navigating life because 816 00:49:34.159 --> 00:49:38.199 life is wild, trust that you are capable of more 817 00:49:38.360 --> 00:49:42.440 than you can imagine. Another incredibly valuable lesson is that 818 00:49:42.480 --> 00:49:47.239 our bodies have such divine intelligence. And this birth reminded 819 00:49:47.280 --> 00:49:50.760 me that my body isn't separate from my spirit. It's 820 00:49:50.840 --> 00:49:53.800 one with it. It's wise, it's responsive, it's intuitive, and 821 00:49:55.280 --> 00:49:58.280 you can trust your body because it was made for miracles. 822 00:49:58.360 --> 00:50:02.079 And so I know so many people battling different health 823 00:50:02.119 --> 00:50:07.000 issues and chronic illness and autoimmune shit and lines and whatever, like, 824 00:50:07.039 --> 00:50:08.960 there's so much stuff and there's so much healing that 825 00:50:08.960 --> 00:50:13.400 we're always constantly working on. And I think it's a 826 00:50:13.440 --> 00:50:15.559 really important reminder and like one of the biggest things 827 00:50:15.599 --> 00:50:19.119 that I'm learning is like really trusting your body, trusting 828 00:50:19.159 --> 00:50:23.360 the wisdom of your body. So to every mama listening, 829 00:50:23.599 --> 00:50:26.400 however your baby came into the world, whether through your 830 00:50:26.440 --> 00:50:30.400 belly or through your body, whether it's natural or medicated, 831 00:50:30.519 --> 00:50:36.199 or induced or c section, your birth story is powerful 832 00:50:36.280 --> 00:50:41.840 and sacred and there's really no hierarchy in motherhood. There's 833 00:50:41.920 --> 00:50:49.559 just love and fucking bravery and camaraderie. And motherhood is 834 00:50:49.639 --> 00:50:53.920 like the coolest club I've ever entered. It's like so 835 00:50:53.920 --> 00:50:57.159 so real, so relatable, and I'm so lucky to have 836 00:50:57.679 --> 00:51:01.400 such amazing moms in my life to help me, guide me, 837 00:51:01.519 --> 00:51:05.960 teach me, like be the village, really be the village 838 00:51:06.239 --> 00:51:10.280 for each other. I hope live story reminds you to 839 00:51:10.320 --> 00:51:14.239 just continue to trust yourself, your body, your timing, and 840 00:51:14.280 --> 00:51:19.199 trust your power because it's already within you. It's already 841 00:51:19.199 --> 00:51:21.159 within you, And I hope that listening to this gave 842 00:51:21.199 --> 00:51:27.719 you some nuggets for yourself. That's always my intention. And yeah, 843 00:51:27.840 --> 00:51:31.079 the days of following coming home from the hospital were 844 00:51:31.159 --> 00:51:34.960 just so so precious and watching Maverick meet his sister 845 00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:37.559 for the first time was just the most beautiful, beautiful thing. 846 00:51:37.559 --> 00:51:40.079 I posted it on Instagram. There's like two parts to it. 847 00:51:40.559 --> 00:51:42.920 He was just so sweet. It was such like a 848 00:51:43.039 --> 00:51:46.079 core memory. I'll never forget it. It was so so special. 849 00:51:46.840 --> 00:51:49.880 And I'm going to record another episode on my whole 850 00:51:49.920 --> 00:51:58.159 postpartum journey and experience so far and kind of continue 851 00:51:58.199 --> 00:52:01.840 the story, but I'll end the one here. Keep this 852 00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:06.679 under an hour, because I think Maverick's podcasts are Our 853 00:52:06.719 --> 00:52:08.679 birth story with him was like ninety minutes and I'm like, 854 00:52:08.719 --> 00:52:11.079 holy shit, this is so long. I'm going to keep 855 00:52:11.079 --> 00:52:13.360 this one shorter, and luckily the birth was shorter, so 856 00:52:13.719 --> 00:52:16.599 we have a shorter episode here. And before I close 857 00:52:16.639 --> 00:52:18.639 this episode, I just want to take a moment and 858 00:52:18.679 --> 00:52:21.639 honor and thank my birth team, the people who made 859 00:52:21.679 --> 00:52:26.480 this entire experience what it was, because yes, birth is 860 00:52:26.559 --> 00:52:31.599 powerful and primal and divine, and it's also sacred teamwork. First, 861 00:52:31.880 --> 00:52:35.159 my husband, Todd, you are literally my rock. For the 862 00:52:35.199 --> 00:52:38.559 moment those first contractions started. You were there, you were grounded, 863 00:52:38.599 --> 00:52:42.719 you were calm, you were present. And to my mom, 864 00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:46.400 just thank you for being such a nurturing presence. I'm 865 00:52:46.519 --> 00:52:49.280 so lucky that my mom could be there. Some people 866 00:52:49.280 --> 00:52:51.199 think I'm crazy for having my mom in the room. 867 00:52:51.519 --> 00:52:53.840 She was there for both, and I wanted to give 868 00:52:53.880 --> 00:52:59.239 her that honor. You've been through both my birth now 869 00:52:59.320 --> 00:53:02.119 and your energy brings me comfort and safety in a 870

00:53:02.159 --> 00:53:06.639 way only a mother can. And having you there to 871 00:53:06.679 --> 00:53:10.599 witness your granddaughter and grandson come into the world was 872 00:53:10.679 --> 00:53:15.400 just so so special. And to my Dula Morgan Sorg, 873 00:53:15.760 --> 00:53:18.599 I could cry just thinking about how much you gave me. 874 00:53:19.280 --> 00:53:22.360 You weren't just my Dula. You were my mirror, my coach, 875 00:53:22.440 --> 00:53:27.440 my anchor, and my advocate. You helped me prepare mentally 876 00:53:27.519 --> 00:53:30.639 and physically and spiritually, and you reminded me to breathe, 877 00:53:30.760 --> 00:53:33.920 to trust, and just to stay grounded and connected to 878 00:53:33.960 --> 00:53:37.719 my power. In the hardest of moments, when I felt 879 00:53:37.719 --> 00:53:41.840 like I couldn't even keep going, you just said everything 880 00:53:41.880 --> 00:53:45.400 that I needed to hear. And I'm just so grateful 881 00:53:45.440 --> 00:53:48.440 to you. I'm so grateful to my doctor. Shout out, 882 00:53:48.480 --> 00:53:52.400 doctor Danko. Thank you for your calm, your confidence, and 883 00:53:52.440 --> 00:53:56.360 your respect. You stepped in at exactly the right times. 884 00:53:56.519 --> 00:53:58.960 You trusted me to listen to my body and allowed 885 00:53:58.960 --> 00:54:01.679 my birth to unfold as naturally as it possibly could, 886 00:54:02.599 --> 00:54:04.239 and that means more to me than you'll ever know. 887 00:54:05.760 --> 00:54:09.480 Every single person in that room just held such beautiful, loving, attentive, 888 00:54:09.639 --> 00:54:13.960 peaceful space and it felt like everyone was working together 889 00:54:14.239 --> 00:54:16.320 with the same goal, which was to bring lives safely 890 00:54:16.360 --> 00:54:19.159 into the world, and it was just the most aligned, gentle, 891 00:54:19.320 --> 00:54:24.599 empowering way possible. So thank you, Thank you all. And 892 00:54:24.840 --> 00:54:27.360 this was really the story of our rebirth as a family, 893 00:54:27.920 --> 00:54:30.920 as parents, as a family of four now, and as 894 00:54:30.960 --> 00:54:36.119 a woman remembering just how powerful she truly is. So 895 00:54:36.199 --> 00:54:39.440 that is the story and I'm sticking to it, y'all. 896 00:54:39.920 --> 00:54:42.559 I will record another episode as I am going through 897 00:54:42.599 --> 00:54:47.480 like this crazy identity shift postpartum, and I know my 898 00:54:47.519 --> 00:54:51.559 postpartum hormones are still raging, so look forward to that 899 00:54:51.599 --> 00:54:56.760 episode very soon. And until then, keeping the badass creator 900 00:54:56.920 --> 00:54:59.280 of your life, and I would love to hear from you. 901 00:55:00.039 --> 00:55:01.840 Let me know what resonated with you the most, Let 902 00:55:01.840 --> 00:55:05.599 me know. Yeah, anything you want to share with me, 903 00:55:05.639 --> 00:55:07.760 you can always DM me on Instagram at the Quantum 904 00:55:07.760 --> 00:55:11.280 Dot coach and funny you all so much love oo 905 00:55:12.360 --> 00:55:15.280 we did some work today. Thank you so much for listening. 906 00:55:15.599 --> 00:55:19.719 You know I love my bamfan. If this episode resonated 907 00:55:19.760 --> 00:55:22.079 with you, please share it with someone who you know 908 00:55:22.119 --> 00:55:24.280 would love it too. Because we live for the ripple 909 00:55:24.320 --> 00:55:27.119 effect over here. And how can you best support the show? 910 00:55:27.519 --> 00:55:30.400 Make sure you're subscribed, Hit the five stars and leave 911 00:55:30.440 --> 00:55:33.320 a review on iTunes and let me know how the 912 00:55:33.360 --> 00:55:36.719 podcast has impacted you. I love being part of your 913 00:55:36.719 --> 00:55:39.880 real time journey, so screenshot the episode and tag me 914 00:55:40.079 --> 00:55:43.719 and my guests on Instagram at manifest with Ash. Now 915 00:55:43.800 --> 00:55:47.000 say it with me. I am my own power source. 916 00:55:47.679 --> 00:55:51.719 I am the master of my own energy, and I 917 00:55:51.840 --> 00:55:56.320 deserve everything that I desire. We don't just talk about 918 00:55:56.320 --> 00:56:00.840 it over here, we be about it. Now, go get 919 00:56:00.920 --> 00:56:04.039 'em