Relationships and Neurodiversity: Marriage, Meltdowns, and How to Make It All Work

Moshe and Leah Appel here, hosts of "Now You Know One Autistic! Podcast." We're a neurodiverse couple sharing our authentic experiences as a couple where one partner (Moshe) has autism spectrum disorder (ASD). We've known each other since we were seven years old. Moshe is autistic, and I (Leah) was often the only one who truly understood him. Now we're married with children, living in Jerusalem, Israel. Our show discusses our life, challenges stereotypes and offers valuable perspectives on neurodiversity itself, as well as neuromixed relationships. We cover a wide range of topics, including: coping mechanisms for autism and ADHD, parenting as autistic individuals, sibling relationships in neurodiverse families, sexuality and romantic relationships on the spectrum, and the impact of animals on neurodivergent lives. We share personal stories, discuss research findings, and provide practical advice for navigating life on the spectrum. Our podcast is for everybody, really, but specifically for adults with autism, parents of autistic children, and anyone seeking to understand neurodiversity better. In summary, we believe that by sharing our experiences and inviting guests to contribute their stories, we hope to foster greater awareness, acceptance, and support for the autistic community. Whether you're directly affected by autism or simply curious about neurodiversity, our podcast offers a warm, informative, and sometimes humorous look into the world of ASD.
 

We started "Now You Know One Autistic!" to share our unique perspective as a neurodiverse couple and challenge common misconceptions about autism. Given that we have an autistic individual married to a neurotypical partner, we realized our experiences could provide valuable insights to others navigating similar situations. Too many podcasts out there have neurotypicals speaking ON BEHALF of autistics, so we wanted to offer an autistic who could speak on behalf of himself. We also liked the idea that we could portray ourselves realistically and show that life isn't always rosy. We chose a podcast specifically, because it allows us to reach a wide audience while maintaining a personal connection. The audio format enables us to convey nuances in tone and emotion, which is particularly important when discussing sensitive topics related to autism and neurodiversity, and Moshe can be shy on camera. Both Moshe and Leah listen to podcasts quite frequently. We particularly enjoy shows that focus on personal stories, science, and mental health. Moshe loves history and religion podcasts. This passion for the medium inspired us to create our own podcast and contribute to the growing conversation around neurodiversity. We started the podcast in April of 2024. We chatted about the idea for a while, but it took some time to gather the courage to share our stories publicly and commit to a regular schedule of posting new episodes. From the initial concept to the release of our first episode, we would say it took about three months. This time was spent researching podcast production, developing our format, and recording several practice episodes to refine our approach. The technical aspect is still a challenge, but Moshe is a quick learner.
 

We release a new episode of "Now You Know One Autistic!" every week. We try to have it up and ready to listen to by Sunday night, Eastern time, which means we record it sometime in the afternoon/early evening on Sundays. An episode takes the whole week to discuss, research, and come up with a basic framework for how it's going to go. We try to get it done in one take, but a few episodes required some stopping and starting, and one ended up being recorded 4 separate times until we were fully happy with how it sounded. Balancing our podcast with our daily lives can be challenging, but it's a labor of love. We're fortunate that our work schedules allow for some flexibility. Both of us work from home doing customer service work, so we're fortunate to have the ability to work on the podcast, while working on...well...work. We fund the podcast ourselves, viewing it as an investment in our passion and the autism community. It's not cheap as we live in Israel and the costs are all in US$. We use Podbean for hosting, which costs about $70 US per month. We invested in quality microphones, which was a one-time cost of around $80, and we have a subscription-based audio-editing program of around $30 US. I do audio editing and marketing between calls at work, and we record on Sundays when neither of us work. We have our days free as we work evenings, so we discuss and plan each episode over coffee dates.
 

As hosts of "Now You Know One Autistic! Podcast," we've found that podcasting has been an incredibly rewarding experience, both personally and professionally. Currently, we don't have any sponsors for our podcast. We fund the show ourselves for now, viewing it as an investment in our passion and the autism community. While we would welcome sponsorships to help cover the costs of running the podcast, we're still in the early stages of building our audience and know that being approached by sponsors may take time. It'll come soon, we hope. While we don't have consistent monthly download numbers to share, we're focused on producing high-quality content and growing our audience organically. We release new episodes every week and are hopefully building a loyal listener base.
 

We start by brainstorming topics relevant to our audience, often drawing from our personal experiences or listener suggestions. Once we select a topic, we spend 1-2 days researching and outlining the episode. This ensures we provide accurate information alongside our personal insights. We record our episodes at home, and try to get it all done in one take, as we said. If we have guests, we include them via Zoom and record the episode with them concurrently. Most episodes are just the two of us, though. Then, we spend a few hours editing and making sure the sound quality is just right. Then, we post it and market the new episodes all over social media and through our personal networks.
 

Marketing our podcast, "Now You Know One Autistic!", is a multifaceted effort that leverages various channels to reach and engage our audience. Our listeners primarily find us through Apple Podcasts, which accounts for about 56% of our audience. The remaining listeners are evenly distributed across other platforms like Listen Notes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and Stitcher. We also utilize social media platforms to promote our episodes and engage with our audience. We actively use Facebook and Instagram to share episode updates, behind-the-scenes content, and engage with our listeners. We also occasionally post videos on TikTok to give our audience a more personal glimpse into our lives and the podcast. Ensuring our podcast is easily discoverable on major directories like Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Google Podcasts is crucial. We optimize our show notes and metadata for better search engine visibility, by constantly keeping track of SEO keywords and such. We regularly participate in online communities and forums related to autism and neurodiversity on Facebook Groups, and Reddit. This helps us connect with potential listeners who are interested in our content. Social media, particularly Facebook and Instagram, have been the most effective for us. These platforms allow us to interact directly with our audience, share visual content, and foster a sense of community. TikTok has also been useful for reaching a younger demographic and providing a more personal connection. We've begun collaborating with other podcasters, influencers, and experts in the autism community to expand our reach and introduce our podcast to new listeners.
 

Quite simply, you have to decide early on if this is going to be just a fun hobby or extracurricular for you, or if you're going to try and make a full-time job out of it. Deciding that will help you decide how much time, money, and effort you're prepared to invest in it. The biggest piece of advice we can provide is to invest in quality equipment and audio software immediately, because if you turn off listeners and don't build a following off the hop, you'll never grow. That, plus record 10 episodes within the first month. Post 3-4 of them right away to give people something to listen to while you record more. You need to gain their interest immediately and not lose it. If you lose interest too early on, you'll have a heck of a time getting it back.
 

To learn more about us and our podcast, "Now You Know One Autistic!", you can find us on various platforms, including right here on Listen Notes.
Here are the details:
Homepage: https://nowyouknowoneautistic.podbean.com/
Facebook: Now You Know One Autistic!
Instagram: @nowyouknowoneautistic
TikTok: @nowyouknowoneautistic
Email: contactus@nowyouknowoneautistic.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nowyouknowoneautistic
We invite you to join our community, subscribe to our podcast, and follow us on social media to stay updated with our latest episodes and insights into living with autism. Your support means the world to us!