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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jana Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast.
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Speaker 2: Okay, ladies, headlines.
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Speaker 3: Wow.
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Speaker 2: First and foremost, I need to know if you guys watch Love is Blind. Katherine, I know I forced you when you were in Kelowna to watch some, the wedding part, but have you watched anything?
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Speaker 3: I have watched everything up until the weddings. I'm like so close. I don't think I can get behind this.
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Speaker 2: Love is Blind?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think I can.
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Speaker 3: I love Love is Blind. And that's interesting because I really don't like reality.
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Speaker 1: It's still what?
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Speaker 3: How?
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Speaker 1: This is what I need the answer to. How long is the entire process?
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Speaker 3: I'm guessing this last season, I felt like they gave us more intel on the back end. Like it sounded like 30 days, like three weeks.
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Speaker 1: That's crazy.
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Speaker 3: But it sounds like they date in the pods for like 10 days and then it's vacation and then it's weddings and then they return to like the world. Okay.
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Speaker 1: But anyways, I did enjoy it when I watched it with you there.
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Speaker 2: So I will say this. So the headline is Love is Blind Reunion. So John Shannon admits he cheated on wife Sarah before divorce with graphic text to a stripper. So he went out. I mean, the reunion was wild. I love, first and foremost, Sarah was my favorite of the season.
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Speaker 3: Same.
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Speaker 2: Same. She's just like, I just love.
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Speaker 3: Her so much.
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Speaker 2: I think she's, her whole just like energy and demeanor and how she speaks. And I just, I was just, she was a fan favorite. Like I loved her. And then I liked John. I did. I thought he was, I mean, there was a few things that like his plays, but you know, there's things that can maybe be, you know, work around a bit, but I, I, I didn't like, I thought they were cute together. I really did. Um, but apparently they exchanged, he exchanged graphic texts with a stripper who was also an escort. However, he claims that nothing physical happened between them. So on the reunion, uh, and during the reunion, Sarah revealed that this cheating scandal wasn't the only problem in their marriage. She'd say that John had a tendency to react harshly during disagreements and And often would use name calling and insult her. She's never been spoken to like that ever by a man. And I will just say that like how she was just so classy on that reunion. I just made me love her more, but also that how she put her foot down and she has such strong boundaries. And I wish I could have said the same back then. And, you know, when a man spoke not nice to me or did something that I could be like, you know what, I don't deserve this and I'm done, you know, and I'm moving on. But, I mean, you guys didn't watch the reunion, so we can't chat about that. But I guess I'll go to, I mean, do you consider it cheating even though it wasn't physical?
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Speaker 3: Well, first of all, I did see glimpses. I'm not a John fan and I haven't been. So I didn't like them together. I think he outkicked his coverage. I felt that way the whole time. So even when we were like chatting on the group chat and I was like, ah, don't spoil. I am actually shocked it was him. And not that I thought it would be her. I just am shocked that they even got that far because he's just not my favorite. And I saw glimpses of the way he treated people when he took the call to pay the bill. Oh, yeah. He handled like the lost luggage, like all of that. I was like, this is like this is a character. This is a characteristic that's a little deep seated. And in my experience, if someone can be that way somewhere, they can be that way everywhere. Yeah.
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Speaker 2: I didn't like that. I didn't like that either. That was when I started to not love it.
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Speaker 3: And so it's not shocking to me that that bled over into other areas of life. But I just think she's so wildly compassionate. The fact that he's been diagnosed with MS and that was no big deal to her. She just took it all on and was like, of course, we'll face it together. All of that. I just feel like she's so professional and so mature that.
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Speaker 3: Shame on him, first of all. But I also do consider it cheating, to answer your question.
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Speaker 2: So you consider, even though it wasn't physical, him texting with her, like, would that be something that is a boundary? Yeah, so you would consider that cheating?
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Speaker 3: I do. Because I don't, I mean, what else is it, right? It's not acceptable. It's not appropriate.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: So it is cheating. Especially when we're talking about strippers and escorts and exchanging information. Was it pictures as well?
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Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah.
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Speaker 1: I mean, what's the point if it's not to go against your wife? You know, like what's the, you know, yes.
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Speaker 2: You know, like guys, a lot of guys that will do that, it's for validation. You know, again, he says it wasn't physical, but I still think it's an emotional.
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Speaker 3: Absolutely.
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Speaker 2: I still think it's obviously trust, you know, that's, and it's still, I mean, I consider it cheating as well. But I know certain people have different opinions on, well, if it wasn't physical, then what really makes that cheating? But I think when you cross over a boundary, those are things that you have to for yourself. Like if it's a boundary for your relationship, clearly you shouldn't be talking to another woman like that.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, but so, like, in my brain, it is cheating because what else can it be, right?
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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
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Speaker 3: Like, what else is an indiscrepancy or something?
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Speaker 2: It became really unclassy, in my opinion. The whole, like, everyone just, like, yelling at everybody. Well, it's a little Boston.
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Speaker 3: We can't forget.
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Speaker 2: Boston's a little heated. As, like, a viewer, I was like, I can't believe I'm watching this. Like, this is getting, like, this is– I'm embarrassed. Like, the whole everyone's like, oh, yeah, you shut up. I'm like, okay, and you're right. So I'm just like, to a lot of people, like into his dad, he's like, it was a mistake. Like people make mistakes. And I'm not like, I'm also one to say, I do think, you know, and I'm literally talking to someone right now in my DMs, a girl going through this, you know, her husband, she's like, I just found text messages between my husband and an employer that's inappropriate. And I'm like, you know, I'm trying to like help her. And sometimes, like I said, I've, you know, I'll DM people and she's like, I'm broken, like, you know, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I still think that like guys make stupid, they do stupid things like that. And I do think that you can still work through that in your marriage if it wasn't like a physical aspect of it. Sure. No, like I still think you can, I'm still a believer that even if someone cheats, like they won't cheat again. And I do believe that there's cases obviously like in mine where that's just who they are and they're going to keep doing it. But I think sometimes like in the defense of, you know, Certain times where people do things, they're in a low spot, doesn't make any excuse for their behavior at all. It's a huge boundary. It's a huge betrayal break. But I do think if you're in a marriage and, you know, someone makes a mistake, we shouldn't just be like, well, it's done unless, you know, it's a big boundary that you can't get past. You know, I think there are certain gray areas with a message sent.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. I also just think like for us, we had to establish like, you know, Preston's in music, which is all inappropriate. Like, almost all of our industry, almost all of his job is not appropriate. There's no HR company there or HR department. There's no, you know, so like calls at 11 calls at 1am, like it's all whatever. And I think we had to establish that if it was, and we do this even with, I do this with the kids. Like if it's not something you were say or do, if that person was next to you, then don't say or do it if they're not next to you. Yeah.
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Speaker 1: I think that you can't, fault someone for staying in that situation, whether physical or not physical, but you also can't fault someone for saying, you know what, this was my line and you crossed it and I'm out. I think that I think it's everyone has different boundaries and different things that they can handle. And I think sometimes you have to recognize that what you can and can't take. I would think that you would have a harder time handling physical cheating now that you've been through that. And your line would probably be different after going through that. Right. And let's just be real. You're doing maybe 30 days, maybe 60, maybe a little bit more. And you can't see every part of someone in that time. things are going to show itself later, you know, and to the way he was speaking to her and maybe not knowing that, like that is pretty easy to hide for probably 30 days.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: I think like for me, it's just the accountability. Like, It's one thing to make a mistake. And if you can't own it and continue to like.
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Speaker 2: The reunion, he was like, he was very accountable. Like he was even like, dad, please be quiet. Like I personally love the accountability that he brought. Where I don't think accountability was brought was Michaela's ex.
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Speaker 3: And what's wild to me too. And like, listen, I give some, I don't want to say some grace, but like, I started to fully understand Rob's issues when I could understand that he just lost his dad three months before. That's huge. And then he had lost two best friends. And so he's coming into this wanting a wife, but not healed. He also, I mean, the guy's night, the guy's night situation with Rob and his friends, I couldn't even process what was happening. It was happening so quick. But It also just felt like we're with a bunch of guys that don't, I mean, like still obviously enjoy partying a ton. Like it's zero to 60. It's just, it was, that was really disheartening to me because I feel like Michaela is just a respectable professional. She was in like, she was open. She was on that to find a husband.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: And to own her stuff.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think, I mean, listen, we're all the broken peeps coming when we go into relationships, but it's just really sad when boundaries get broken and you have to figure out what works for you and what don't and what you can forgive and what you can't.
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Speaker 3: And what you can own. Yeah.
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Speaker 2: And the accountability piece. So is is definitely huge. But I also will say I love how I just love that these women are in their 30s and they're like, no, I don't deserve that. And I'm like, I even told Kat, I think I was talking to Pamela and I'm like, we were talking about Michaela. And I'm like, the fact that she's witnessed that and was like, I don't deserve that. I'm like, what I would have given of that in my soul. in my early thirties, the first time I got cheated on to be like, nope, don't deserve that. Now, granted, I have a very, you know, beautiful children now, but I'm like, and even before, like everything led me to where I am now, but I'm like, I'm like, I want some of what those girls have where it's like, no, I don't deserve that. And I'm not going to stick around for that. And, and I'm just like, wow, good on you girls.
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Speaker 1: And you want your, your daughters to learn that, you know? And yes, it's
easy to say like, forgiveness and all that, but like, would you want your daughter to have to go through that and continue to deal with it?
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Speaker 2: I think again, it's very, it's a, it's, it's harder when you're married, you've got kids and someone who respect, you know, really honors marriage is cat. Like that's where you're like, just give up one time.
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Speaker 1: Like, right.
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Speaker 2: You know, like it's, that's two sides.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Like for sure. You have to, you know.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. That's a hard one.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. So They definitely just had beautiful standards. This round of women was like really, and I can't tell if it's maybe because there was more people in their thirties and less people in their twenties, this cast, it felt like, because I remember like I met Preston when I was 32, you know? So I think I just remember being like, I know what I like. I know what I don't like. I know what I'm falling for. You know, I do think there's just so much beauty in that. I just was really, and I also just felt like they supported each other so well, like less cattiness and more like girl support. Yeah.
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Speaker 2: It would just be nice if like they could maybe do a little bit better on the casting on the men's side. It always seems like the girls are ready, but the guys are not. But again, guys tend to say they're ready and then they're a little, then they're not. Right. Okay. Mormon wives, Jen Affleck explains why she decided to file for divorce from husband Zach. So Jen, um, is currently pregnant with her fourth child with Zach. She goes, I think I've known for a really long time. I think it sounds crazy to say, but because I'm about to be postpartum, I knew that I needed to make the decision now not being postpartum because when you're postpartum, it's the most vulnerable stage of having children. And I was worried that if I waited until then, I wouldn't continue the cycle. She also stated, um, that she has realized that she trained herself to forget. She says that seeing how she was treated by Zach on the show gave her more confidence in her decision to file for divorce. I mean, I feel like we all kind of saw that one come in a bit.
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Speaker 3: There's so many of them divorced or divorcing.
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Speaker 1: Well, I saw an interview with Jen where she was talking about like, look, you know, I would have come to this decision, I do believe at some point, but being on the show, when you sit there and you watch it, you know, and I'm like, how different that would be. like to truly like to just go back and go, okay, yeah, this happened, but then you move on or you forget about it or whatever, but then to have to go back and watch it some months later and go, Oh wait, that was terrible that he did that or what I did or what we did, you know? And so that's such a, like, I never really thought about that. You know, like I knew that
it causes trauma when you're on, you know, and it makes it harder for them and all the things, but to actually have to go back and watch it and go, Oh, that was inappropriate. Or, Oh, he really did treat me bad then. Like, what am I doing?
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Speaker 3: You know?
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Speaker 1: And like, I don't know. It's just, it's, I see where that would escalate. Oh, and why a lot of people do get divorced.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Again, I'm just feeling like, I don't know. Maybe I'm like, I'm just, I must just be like weak. And this is where I'm like in a self deprecate myself. But because I'm like, you, you guys know when I was in Los Angeles, I had found out something again about an affair and I, almost something walking into something and I was like that's it I'm falling for a divorce I'll never forget I called Sarah Bryce and I was like I'm finally done I just caught him blah blah blah blah blah blah and I remember tasting like a metallic taste in my mouth and I was like oh my god I think I like I think I'm pregnant and I took a test and I was pregnant with Jace And I remember going, calling Sarah and being like, I can't do this. Like, I can't do that. What do I do? Like, I can't do this alone. Like, I'm like, I, how, like, how can you be pregnant and like have a kid? But I was like, I just was like, I was in that mode where I was like, I just can't do it myself. Um, and then in my mind, I was like, you know, and he was like, this is our, you know, start. And this is my, now I know, and not going to lose my family. And so I took it as that, but it's like, you, you, you see the writing on the wall. And I love that Jen was like, strong enough to go, no, like, this is not going to be good for my family. This isn't going to be good for me. And I'm strong enough to walk away, even in that such a vulnerable position of carrying their child. Like, I'm just like, girl, like how, like, again, so incredibly strong.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. The only like negative that I don't love right now is they keep both posting videos on social media. You know how that we always talk about how they're just crazy about social media. Yeah. but they're like both posting things to show the other people. And I'm like, okay, at this point we got four kids. This is social media. Like, right.
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Speaker 3: Right.
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Speaker 1: We just need to, we need to simmer down. I get it. You want to show, you know, all the things, but like, I just need that to simmer down a little bit. Like we filed for divorce. We're going to be better off. Let's, let's move on and be a little bit more mature about it.
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Speaker 2: What do you mean?
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Speaker 1: So she posted a video of, that, and I think there's been more, I think they've both done it. They've gone back and forth, but she posted a video on TikTok that basically was, she was filming something. It was like, it was going to go on social media or maybe it did. I don't know. And it showed
him treating her kind of disrespectfully, like making her look stupid or feel stupid. And it shows like his face behind her where he's like looking at her all nasty and like whatever. And so, I think it was her way of just like, see, see, he does treat me bad. Like, see, see, like this is what he does, you know? And then I, I believe I'm not, I did see that one. I believe he came back with something as well. And I think it's just kind of been this bad. I can't watch it anymore because it's just got, it's just that stuff gets so petty. Um, and that's where I'm going to go.
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Speaker 2: Okay.
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Speaker 1: You did this and you literally said you did this for your child because you, you want to stop the cycle. You do not want your children to think that this is okay. You know, blah, blah, blah. So, this isn't okay either. So we're just going to need to like, and I love her and I'm so happy for her. And I'm like, I'm happy that she is making a decision to get happier. And I think both of them will be happier in the end probably, but I need them to just rein it back on the social.
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Speaker 3: Media a little bit. I also just, I can't let you say that you were weak BF, because I just don't, I just don't think that's true. I mean, like I've been, I just think there's, I think it's different for everybody, right? Like I can't imagine, I would have never had the support to get divorced while I was pregnant. Like what would have been for me in my situation, like the mature and responsible decision for me in that moment would be to just stay and again, if I'm safe, right? Like assuming I'm safe just to get like, it's everyone handles things at their own pace and at their own timeline. So I don't, I've never saw that part of you as being weak at all. I just felt like it was like, we're just taking this one step at a time, you know, like it's okay for everyone to make their decisions in their own time and what they need to do and when their breaking point is. And I mean, hindsight, right? Like There's a trillion things in all my relationships that I wish I would have gone, well, Kristen, you shouldn't have allowed that. Or Kristen, you shouldn't have done that. But hindsight is what it is. And we're all just learning. And I think it's good to admire it in other people. But at the time, what felt like the sturdy decision for you was have your baby and stay married. And what feels sturdy for her is this isn't good.
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Speaker 1: And I'm going to get divorced. Well, she's already done that, mind you.
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Speaker 3: Right.
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Speaker 1: Last baby.
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Speaker 2: Right.
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Speaker 1: They were already having issues and she decided to stay and all that. So, you know, she's essentially done this at least twice, you know, but also, I mean, it's, you know, and I'm a big advocate advocate for leaving if that stuff happens, but like, that ain't easy being pregnant and having a newborn. And so I don't think anyone can fault anyone. And I bet that happens way more often than we even realize. And, and, I can see where that feels like, because it even did to me for you, but I can see where that feels like maybe this was God's plan. Maybe this is the moment where this is going to happen.
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Speaker 3: Well, I thought it was.
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Speaker 2: I thought that was going to be the thing.
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Speaker 3: That would snap him out of it.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: And so there's, you know, you can't fault anyone for praying and hoping that that is the case.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, of course. That's just it.
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Speaker 2: It's hard. when you see the writing on the wall and then it's like, and then we watch things like this and we're like, well, yeah, he didn't, you know, they didn't work together, you know?
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Speaker 1: Right.
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Speaker 3: I mean, I wouldn't want to see a playback video of my marriages.
00:20:01
Speaker 1: If you and Mike, imagine if you and Mike's whole marriage was a reality show. You know what I mean? I do think that you might have made some decisions maybe a little bit sooner if you had to sit there and watch and replay it. But can you imagine having to replay that all?
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Well, remember, every time we're doing a reality show, I mean, when we would film the videos or they would do it, it's like I found out something. And I'm like, oh, I'm so glad we didn't air any of that.
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Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
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Speaker 2: So glad we picked up. But at the same time, that might have saved me. And getting out sooner.
00:20:36
Speaker 1: It might have.
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Speaker 2: For things that I would have been so embarrassed, how could I go back?
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Speaker 1: Well, I think that there's things that would have been shown that still people have no idea. And seeing it would make people feel very differently about things. But again, that's why we're just going to thank God we're not on that.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, reality. But that's it for this week's headlines. I love you, ladies. And see what pops up next week.
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Speaker 3: We sure do miss you on this couch, Kramer.