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Speaker 1:
0:05
Hi and welcome to Untethered with Jen Liss, the podcast that's here to help you break free, be you and unleash your inner brilliance. I'm your host, jen, and in this episode we're going to talk about how you might be tying up your worth in social media and what the heck to do about it. Let's dive in. Hey there, unicorn, it's Jen. Welcome back to the podcast for this Thursday thread. It's a Thursday thread.
Speaker 1:
0:37
We are threading out a little piece from Angelina Rosario's episode on Tuesday, so it's cool. If you have not listened to Angelina's episode on Tuesday, I'll just pull out a couple of threads and we're going to dive deep on it, what I really want to talk about. So, first of all, she shared so many good things, but one of the really cool things in this season that Angelina is in and what she is stepping into is she's in a corporate job. She's also an entrepreneur, so she's living both of those lives at the same time, and that is something that keeps a lot of people tethered. They'll say, well, I'm in a corporate job and so I can't be on social media being myself, I can't be talking about myself, and essentially, if you're saying that, you're just, in general, saying I can't be myself. Which what worse situation can there be to be in than to not be able to be yourself? And yet that's actually what so many of us are doing all day. Every day is not feeling like we can fully be ourselves, which is the whole premise of this podcast is let's be more of the authentic, sparkly unicorn, whatever it is for you. Maybe you're more of a, maybe you've got a little extra cayenne pepper in there, a little spice, or whatever the concoction is that makes up your beautiful magic. How can you be more of that? All day, every day, no matter where you are, whether it's in that corporate job or whether it's in your entrepreneurship, or whether it's with your family or whether it's with your friends you are showing up as you and you're not feeling like you have to show up with these masks and being a certain person.
Speaker 1:
2:10
One of the places that we tend to feel like we have to wear the masks is on social media, and especially for those who do have corporate jobs, but even for entrepreneurs sometimes, because we might think well, people who are in corporate jobs, but even for entrepreneurs sometimes, because we might think well, people who are in corporate jobs might think this, or I used to be in a corporate job and now I'm posting this and what is everybody gonna think? And we get very much in the scenario of what is everybody else going to think and feeling like we have to live inside of a certain box. And anybody who's an entrepreneur has probably at some point sat down and had that thought like how is this going to be perceived? And really anybody who's ever created a social media post has definitely had that thought like how is this going to be perceived by other people? And that's actually not a bad question. It's not a bad question to ask how it's going to be perceived by other people, and that's actually not a bad question. It's not a bad question to ask how it's going to be perceived by other people. The problem is where that question is coming from, because are you caring about that person and how they feel about themselves, or are you caring about how that person feels about you? That's the question.
Speaker 1:
3:26
And so what Angelina was saying was, when you go to make a social media post, the thing that is helping her to be so her, when she puts a social media post out there, even though she's in this executive leadership position in sales at one of the biggest corporations out there, media corporations out there. She does it from knowing that it's aligned to her purpose. It's aligned to her mission, and that mission is not about her being seen as something, as not being seen as a certain persona, as not being seen as a certain persona. Her mission is about how other people feel. And so when she sits down, she asks herself, after she writes a post or as she's writing a post what are my motives, what is my intent with this post? And that's such a powerful question. What really is my intent with this post? And so much of the time when we go onto social media, we're trying to paint a certain picture. We want it to be pretty, we want it to be polished, we want everybody to see how wonderful something is and it might indeed be and I think that's great and I share all of this today, and I think that's great and I share all of this today. This entire conversation is from a space of. This is my stickiest. This is my biggest, stickiest, hardest tether and most high achievers. That's your biggest stickiest tether.
Speaker 1:
4:59
We care a lot about what other people think. We care a lot about what other people think. We care a lot about getting approval from others. We care a lot about the judgment of others. A lot of that is wrapped up in our own need for approval from ourselves, our own judgment of ourselves, the judge voice that is in our head that is constantly saying mean things, and then we look outside for approval and so this cycle is there and that's okay. That's human. We all have that voice. For some of us, the volume is turned up really loud and we get to do practices that turn the volume down.
Speaker 1:
5:37
Some of the things that Angelina talked about was meditation, journaling, affirmations, visualizations, prayer all of these things. These five things are things that we could all be doing to turn down the volume of all of those other voices and come home to who you truly are and what you truly care about, and so we can, at the same time, be taking action. You can still be inspiring other people on social media. You can still be living your calling. Maybe it has nothing to do with social media. If not, this conversation is still valuable, but might not be, as you're probably not even listening to this
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episode because it very obviously talks about social media. But we have to get really honest with ourselves when we go to put posts out there because we can actually do this, and we do it in such sneaky ways that we're actually hiding it. From ourselves it's like the humble brag, but to yourself it's like so disguised that we don't even realize we're doing it.
Speaker 1:
6:43
And even though I'm always trying to come from a place of purpose, just like Angelina it doesn't always come out from that space. And so it's this awareness that we get to start to get more and more and more of where is this coming from? What are my motives? And is this from a place of me wanting to feel special? Or if you're like me and your purpose is that I really desire to inspire people, I'll give, my purpose is so that more of us live a life that, at 90 years old, we look back and we say that was freaking brilliant. That's my purpose. That is driving me forward every single day, helping people feel like they're living that life that is truly, for them, their most fun, most vibrant, most brilliant, most joyous, most amazing, magical life. That's what I desire for myself. It's what I desire for others. That's my purpose.
Speaker 1:
7:36
So anytime I sit down to write a social media post, it shouldn't be about does this make me feel special? Does this make me look good? Does this make me look cool? Is this going to make them like me? It's coming from a place of. Is this going to make them feel like they can be more of them? Is this going to make them feel like they can truly live that life that they know is meant for them? Is this going to make them feel like a brilliant life is possible for them? That is the space that my social media posts should could always be coming from. Is it happening every single time? Probably not, because I've got like the layers of the sneakiness and all of that in there, despite all of the, all of the efforts that I put forth with meditation and all of the things. There's 40 years, 35 years, before I really got into a lot of the stuff of practice, of the other things. Those voices have been talking in my head for so long, and so have probably yours. We don't realize all of the tethering that we have until we're so tethered that we're like shit, I'm tethered. So of course, those voices are going to be really loud and they're going to have all kinds of sneaky disguises that they use. I call those sneaky snakes Anything that is coming from a space of seeking approval and pleasing and wanting people to think that we're okay and know that we're a good person, and know that we're a caring person and that we're empathetic Anytime that we are really in that space.
Speaker 1:
9:08
It's coming from a place of fear. It's coming from a place of us not feeling like we are fully loved, that we are cared for. It's coming from a place of not believing fully and completely in our own magic. It's not coming from love. It's coming from fear, and that's okay because it's so human. If anything else, I want you to know that it's okay that we're all fucking up on social media. That's fine, it's fine. That doesn't mean that we can't get better at it and that we can't experiment with. How could I be more human on social media? How could I be more loving to myself and to other people on social media?
Speaker 1:
9:50
What is the world that you really want to create? What is your purpose? What are you here to do and then move from that place when you go to put something up? Do you want to create a world where people care so much about what other people think? Do you want to create a world where people feel like they have to put on a mask or that they have to care so much about what it is that they post that Susan from book club might think whatever Is that, the world that you want to create is more people to have to worry about that, because when you create a post from that place of you worrying about what they might think, you're creating more of that. You're creating more of it because it comes out in the energy of what you wrote. When we come from that space of caring what other people think, we're automatically coming from a place of inauthenticity, of seeking approval, of seeking validation, because we want to be validated by that person. We want them to think that we're okay Again, that we're a good human, and that energy is stamped. Everything is energy. Your words are energy, your posts are energy, your pictures are energy. All of it is. We're always exchanging energy with the recipients. What is the energy that you want to put out into the world? Now let's move into what do we do about this.
Speaker 1:
11:24
One of the things that I mentioned at the end of Angelina's episode that just really struck me is she said this in passing, but she said you know, I usually write my posts a month ahead of time, but she had previously been talking about how she just gets to watch how the posts perform, like how are people responding to this one? And one of the things that she has noticed is that when she does a really personal post, her colleagues don't like it, they don't comment on it. But when she does something about work, of course it gets a whole bunch of likes from her colleagues. She's thinking they're all seeing it, they're all seeing it right, and so they're liking it. She's like this is so interesting to me, but she's able to look at it not from a space of they're not liking it, they're not liking the post because they don't like me, which could very easily happen if she came from a place, obviously, of writing it, from a place of seeking the validation. It would also be easy for it to happen if she wrote the post and then turned around and immediately posted it and then watched in real time, which is often what we're doing most of the time.
Speaker 1:
12:26
You write the post, then you post it and then you start to see how the response is coming in. There's
so much attachment to the outcome. If we write our posts ahead of time, then there's a little bit of a disconnect and I think that allows you to see with curiosity and wonder like, oh, I wonder what people think of this. This is kind of interesting to see and we can make it more of an experiment. So this is what I challenge us to do Now.
Speaker 1:
12:52
The interesting thing with this is that people will say, well, that feels inauthentic. It feels inauthentic for me to post something that was written two days ago, or it feels inauthentic what authenticity are you stamping into the post? That's what really matters. Is it coming from a place today, on June? Whatever? Is it coming from a place of authenticity for you right now? Because that's all that matters. It doesn't matter if you had this thought 10 days ago or if you're having this thought right now.
Speaker 1:
13:27
The thought is the thought, and the thought came to you for a reason. It's how creativity works. It's just always in the ether and spinning around and you get to either let it come through. Maybe it wants to come through in a social media post, maybe it comes through in the form of a poem, maybe a song, maybe you pick up a paintbrush, maybe it's just in your movement, maybe it's the way you smile at the cashier at the grocery store. That creativity, that inspiration, it's all flowing through us all the time. So let that flow through you into a social media post and then schedule it to come out on a day two weeks from now.
Speaker 1:
14:08
I would actually challenge us. What I'm going to challenge you to do is five of them. Do five social media posts, write them, schedule them ahead of time. Maybe they come out like two weeks at a time. However, you want to do it. But schedule those five posts, put them out there and then let yourself watch with curiosity and detachment. You're automatically detaching yourself from the outcome. You're actually adding space and time in there for yourself so that you can physically be detached, and my prediction is that as you do this more and more, you get less and less attached to who you think that you should be for other people, how you should be perceived. You're also able to look at that post to be like hmm, did that come from a space of seeking validation? Did that come from a space of me being fully on purpose? So that is our challenge is go, do five posts ahead of time, wash with curiosity as it comes in and please report back to me. I want to know how this experiment goes for you. I'm going to do the experiment as well.
Speaker 1:
15:21
I have been doing more, I will say for myself. I've done a lot more of that of knowing ahead of time what it is that I am going to share Other times. Most of the time I share in the moment because that's just how my brain works. Of course, as an entrepreneur, I know that it would behoove me to do things a lot more ahead of time, but I am going to do this challenge alongside of you. So schedule those five posts. I don't care if you're an entrepreneur, I don't care if you're in corporate, I don't care if you are a teacher, I don't care if you don't even have a job, whatever it is.
Speaker 1:
15:53
This is an excellent exercise for untethering in general untethering from approval, untethering from validation, and letting yourself see the outcome with simple curiosity and wonder. I wonder how? I'm curious, what will? Maybe people won't like it at all, maybe there will be some, and then it has nothing to do with your worth, especially if you did it from a place of your purpose. So check back in with me. I'd love to hear how this goes.
Speaker 1:
16:24
As we do every Thursday, we are going to end this session with a moment of conscious breath, coming together here and taking just a collective moment for us to pause and be with ourselves and do a little check-in. Today we're going to check in with our heart's desire. This is one of the very important things that we can do to really hear our purpose. What is it that my heart desires? So taking a breath into the nose if you're able, and seated and in a place where you can, on this exhale, closing down your eyes, just letting go of control of the breath and letting your body breathe itself. If you're walking, have a nice soft gaze. If you're driving, keep your attention firmly on the road, eyes open. You're driving, keep your attention firmly on the road, eyes open If you have your eyes closed, going fully inward, feeling the sensations of your breath as it flows into the nose and back out through the nose yeah, letting your body breathe itself. There you go, when you're ready, we're going to do five physiological sighs drawing breath in through the nose when you feel like you're completely full, taking another sip at the top and then exhaling out through the mouth. We'll do those five physiological sighs together whenever you are ready in through the nose and then out through the mouth.
Speaker 1:
18:25
I'm sorry, as you complete those physiological sighs, just entering a moment of stillness, maybe placing a hand on your heart, maybe both hands on your heart, and asking your heart what is my greatest desire? What is it that I live for? Pausing to listen to the response. That response can come in a word or a phrase, a color, a texture, an emotion, a sensation. What do I live for? Letting yourself feel the energy of that response, focusing that energy on the heart space, taking another final deep inhale into the heart space, holding at the top, feeling that energy expand through the heart space. Maybe it moves beyond into your body, maybe it even moves beyond the body into your energetic field. When, and only when, you are ready, releasing that hold, feeling yourself grounded in this desire, in this purpose Grounded, knowing that your desire is your purpose. It's what you're here for. When you're ready, bringing your awareness to the fingertips Me, giving them a little rub on the cloth beneath your hands if your hand was on your heart Just moving the fingertips gently, bringing your awareness back into the present, linking your eyes open, coming back fully into the here and the now, knowing your heart's desire and stepping forward on purpose.
Speaker 1:
22:38
Thank you so much for pausing to breathe with me and for listening to this episode. I hope there was something really juicy and amazing for you and that your heart shared with you what it is that you are here for. You can come back to that meditation anytime. Thanks so much once again, for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed it, I encourage you to share it with a friend, somebody who might get something out of it, maybe one of your fellow friends who might struggle with social media a little bit and how to show up authentically. If you really enjoyed the episode, you can also take a screenshot, put it on social media. If you put it on your Instagram stories, you can tag me. I'm untetheredjen. I'll always reshare your posts if you tag me. Thanks again so much for listening. You just keep shining. You're a magical unicorn light out there for all to see. I'll see you next time. Bye.