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Hello and welcome to Unlock your Happiness series.
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I'm Jenny Williams and I'm here to talk to you today about someone believing in you is all you need.
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So it's a real fitting topic to talk about.
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I think we all need someone to believe in us, but sometimes we don't allow that to happen.
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So someone believing in you really is all you need to be able to push forward, to be able to feel loved, to be able to grow, to be able to reassure yourself, to feel supported, to feel guided, to lean against.
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They do so many things and there's so many versions of people believing in you.
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So the classic ones obviously are your partners, so being loved and believed in by your partner Family.
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Obviously they believe in you and they kind of push you forward and stuff.
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But what I really mean is having someone by your side to work on you directly.
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So sometimes they come in guises as PTs, as nutritionists, as therapists, as counselors For me.
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I have had multiple coaches and mentors and you can call them what you want really life coaches, business coaches, consultants, human design people.
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I've had all sorts of support and guidance along the way and I think over time, as you evolve, obviously the coach and the mentor does change, but I truly believe that having someone believe in you really is all you need to be able to change the horizon for you.
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So a lot of people that run their own businesses would have coaches, or maybe running it on their own but think they can do it on their own, but don't have a coach just yet.
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Or there could be people in like senior roles, that who has been promoted to managers, that they're not been given any management training and is almost trying their best to work on a scenario that they've never kind of been in before.
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So we all need someone.
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No matter what we are doing, no matter where we are in life, no matter what our bank balance says, no matter what our relationship status is, we all need someone to believe in us.
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And my question for you really is who is that for you Like who?
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Who is that one that you kind of lean on?
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Now, a lot of the time we have friends that we we lean on to kind of share advice with, or to frustrations, or to kind of get a value of what's the word, not a valid opinion, but like a, a balanced opinion, I suppose, cause I know they've known you for years.
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They know what you're going through.
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They've been there through all the step of the way, but are they giving you truly the support that you need?
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Are they making you think differently?
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Are they making you move forward?
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And that's what a coach and a mentor does.
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They look at you holistically, or this is what I do, anyway.
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I would look at you holistically.
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Where are you in life, in work, in business, in relationships, in finance, in all sorts of things?
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Because it all amalgamates together and it all becomes a kind of ripple effect in the circle of life, and our icky guy as well.
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So are you having someone look at that for you?
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Are you having someone that's there when you're like you just need to let off steam?
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Who's got an unbiased opinion?
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That's what's really.
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My point is, if they're unbiased, they don't know your history, they don't know where you've come from, they don't know the stories of your life not just yet, anyway so they can really have a kind of have you thought about this?
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What about that?
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Are you sure that's the max that you can, you can offer?
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I want you to be able to do this.
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Show me that this looks good, try that, all of these kinds of questions a coach is going to ask you and it's going to make you feel uncomfortable.
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It's not easy having a coach, but then why would you have a coach if they're just going to sit with you and not let you grow or not help you to grow anyway?
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My coach at the moment gives me all sorts of conversations and I literally like squinch in my seat and be like, oh, why have I not thought about that?
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Or I know she's saying what I need to hear, but I don't really want to do it, all of that stuff.
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But why am I investing my money in her if she's not going to push me forward, if she's not going to give me the tough love that I need or if she's not going to give me a cuddle when I need it?
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Having someone believe in you to push you forward will be all you need to achieve success.
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Growth in you to push you forward will be all you need to achieve success.
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Growth, happiness, ultimately, and for you to be aligned in what you're doing, if it's your business, if it's your life.
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We need that person to do that for us, and it can be lonely, on our own.
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I've got a family.
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I've got a house full.
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I've got friends.
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I've got family, I've got people around me.
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But when you're running your own business or when you're in this senior role, it feels super lonely and to not have someone by your side just going, you're doing a good job, oh, I love this, this is good.
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Why don't you try that?
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I know you're feeling like shit.
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Why don't we just rein it in and pause for a bit?
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Let's take a rest.
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Let's sit on it for today.
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Let's push forward tomorrow.
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You know, having someone just remind you of that stops you from stopping in your stride.
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There's many, many, many a times when I've thought, even recently, like what's the point?
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What am I doing?
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What am I giving people?
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Why am I doing all of this when results don't come, or I don't see the impact, or I don't see the change and with my coach the other day, I was literally bawling my eyes out about it and then you almost start to then get into a funk of oh God, life would be easier to not do this, I think.
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But then I know deep down in my belly I can have an impact on someone, I can help them, I can help them change, I can help them move, I can give my experience to them and help them become better.
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So why would I not do that?
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But then my mind takes over my heart and I'm like this isn't working.
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That's not working.
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This is frustrating.
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This is doing this.
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So having that coach realigns you right.
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Bring you back in.
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Stop going on about all this negative stuff.
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Right?
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What can we do today?
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What's that 1%?
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What's that change that's going to be there?
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What's that change that's going to be there?
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And sometimes I want to sulk off and be like, oh, shut up, I don't want to do any of it.
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But also it allows me to move forward quicker because I might dwell on it for a day.
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And then I'm like, right, yeah, she's right, let's move, let's do this, let's do that, let's change this, let's change that.
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And then you start to make progress again, and that progress creates warmth and that warmth creates confidence.
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And then, all of a sudden, you're in networking events and you're doing podcasts and you're meeting new people and reconnecting to yourself, and having that person believe in you is literally worth all the weight in gold.
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So who is that person for you?
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All the weight in gold.
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So who is looking?
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Who is that person for you?
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Are they bringing you what you need and are they creating change?
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Are they creating the impact that you need?
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They might not be, so you might need to switch it up a bit.
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You might need to find another mentor or a coach or give it a break for a bit and then find someone else who knows.
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But having that support can change everything, and investing in yourself is not selfish.
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So many people kind of go oh, and I have been this person so hands up here, I can't really afford to do this.
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I haven't got the money to invest in myself.
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I know I need to, I know I need a coach, but I can't afford it.
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So it's like a catch-22.
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And I just had to trust myself.
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I've trusted myself by putting myself in a position where, yeah, I still can't afford it at the moment, but I know it's going to make me different, I know it's going to make me move, I know it's going to push the business forward, it's going to push me forward.
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So you have to kind of not be selfish and see it as self-care, see it as investment, because in the long run it's going to be worth its weight in gold.
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So one of the things that also I find is and again I'm kind of telling you about my story because this is what's happened with me is I know all the answers.
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So when I which is sometimes half of the battle I know a lot of the answers of what I need to do, I know how to get there, I know the kind of pitfalls, I know the strengths and weaknesses and all of that type of stuff, but I still need someone.
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I still need someone to keep me accountable.
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I still need someone to give me guidance.
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I still need someone that's going to push me just when I want to feel like sitting down, because I will stop procrastinate, go slow, give myself excuses, find other reasons to not get it done.
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And that's why I need exactly the coach and the mentor that I've got.
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So who believes in you, who is believing in you to push you forward.
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Or do you need someone?
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Or do you need someone?
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That someone could be me?
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I can do that.
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If you feel aligned and the knowledge and the information that you've heard from me so far is something that you'd like support in, I can do that.
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But what I would say is, make sure the coach aligns with you.
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You feel like they're going to push you forward.
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You feel like they're going to give you advice that you need.
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They're going to give you that kick up the bum that you need when you need it, but they're also going to give you the biggest hug when you just need to just let it go.
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So who's believing in you and who's having that impact?
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Like, one of the things I do say to my clients is obviously, be careful of those that those that love you already.
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So I said at the beginning, obviously we've all got people believing in us and that want us to succeed to a degree, but the people that love us the most don't always give the best advice.
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So find the person that's giving you the advice that you need, not the advice that you want.
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There's a difference.
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We all want to be told that we're great, but what we need is someone to tell us how to be better.
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So just be mindful of that.
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And who is around you pushing you forward?
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Who are those people that are making you level up, making you change and giving you the support that you need?
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Because if you've got I promise you, if you've got someone that is believing in you, you won't necessarily get to the finish line, but what you will do is definitely get closer to it.
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And then sometimes we get to a stage where we've learned all the information that we can from that mentor and coach and then we level up again because our business has leveled up and because we've leveled up and there's other people that have got more experience than they have.
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That's just life.
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It's not that they're a bad coach, it's just because you've got the information from them so far that you need and now you need a next level.
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They need a next level.
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They'll have a coach.
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If they're a decent coach or mentor or consultant, whatever you want to call it themselves, they will be having someone mentor them.
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That's in the next level up, so they level up as well.
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If they haven't, then they're not reinvesting themselves, so why would you invest in them?
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What I would recommend is that people should be always investing in themselves, always, no matter what they do CEO of a business, shareholder of a business, even retired we should always be investing in ourselves and always trying to push ourselves forward or try new things or find what we love or get alignment, because once you've done that and you've got someone believing in you, that's alongside with you and walking that path, everything changes.
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So just think who is there that believes in you and that's pushing you forward, and if you need someone, let me know I can help, or there's lots around.
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Find people that you feel aligned and related to and invest in yourself.
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You are the most important asset to yourself, so you should be investing in it.
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So go and find your person.
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Go and make sure that you've got someone alongside you and let us know how you get on.
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Let us know if you've already got a coach and a mentor and what you think and feel benefits you from having them.
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Yeah, have a wonderful week.
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Find that one that believes in you, because that is all you need Send in love and stay happy.