TRANSKRIP 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:34.719 --> 00:00:36.719
Hello, ladies, it's Jax.
00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:39.600
Welcome back to the Midlife Glowgetter Podcast.
00:00:39.760 --> 00:00:44.800
I'm so glad you're here because today's episode is really close to my heart.
00:00:45.120 --> 00:00:48.000
We are talking about weight goals.
00:00:48.240 --> 00:00:59.760
Not the kind you pull out of thin air or copy from a chart, but the kind that actually matters with your health, your energy, and how you're living in your body every single day.
00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:05.840
Before we get into it though, let's start today with three affirmations just to glow up your day.
00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:08.400
Say them aloud with me if you can.
00:01:08.640 --> 00:01:12.080
Number one, my body is not a number.
00:01:12.240 --> 00:01:15.920
It's my home, and I get to take care of it with love.
00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:24.400
Number two, I measure my progress by how I feel, how I move, and how I show up for my life.
00:01:24.719 --> 00:01:31.359
And number three, every healthy choice I make today is a gift to the woman I'll be at 90.
00:01:31.599 --> 00:01:35.200
Say them one more time if you need to, let them land.
00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:38.319
Okay, let's talk.
00:01:39.360 --> 00:01:43.680
So I want to take you back when all this started for me.
00:01:44.080 --> 00:01:50.879
I was 45 years old, and that's about when I say my midlife awakening began.
00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:55.920
And at my highest, I weighed 431 pounds.
00:01:56.240 --> 00:02:01.360
I want to sit with that number for a second because I don't share it to shock you.
00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:09.039
I share it because I know some of you are listening right now, and you're carrying a number that feels heavy.
00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:13.280
Not just on your body, but on your heart and on your mind.
00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:18.319
I've been there, and I know exactly what that feels like.
00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:21.439
When I started, I picked a goal weight.
00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:23.599
And here's the honest truth.
00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:26.719
I didn't pick it for really any reason.
00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:30.560
I just made it up in my head, and it sounded right.
00:02:30.879 --> 00:02:33.920
It sounded like the number I was supposed to want.
00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:38.240
It sounded like what a healthy put-together woman would weigh.
00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:43.439
It wasn't based on how I felt, it wasn't based on how my life.
00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:02.719
I mean it, I had more energy than I had in years.
00:03:02.960 --> 00:03:11.439
I was moving more, I was sleeping better, I felt like myself again for the first time in a very, very long time.
00:03:11.920 --> 00:03:15.439
But I was also weighing myself every single day.
00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:18.960
And every single day, that number decided my mood.
00:03:19.200 --> 00:03:21.360
If it went down, I was happy.
00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:24.000
If it stayed the same, I was frustrated.
00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:28.320
If it went up even a little, it would ruin my whole morning.
00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:29.600
Think about that.
00:03:29.760 --> 00:03:43.040
I felt amazing in my body, and I lost a hundred pounds, and I was letting one number on one little machine tell me whether or how I was supposed to feel that wasn't healthy.
00:03:43.280 --> 00:03:47.120
Not for my mind, and honestly, not for my journey either.
00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:50.000
So I asked myself a different question.
00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:52.800
Instead of what number should I weigh?
00:03:53.040 --> 00:03:57.680
I asked, When in my fast past did I feel my best?
00:03:58.480 --> 00:04:00.800
When did I have the most energy?
00:04:01.040 --> 00:04:03.120
When did I have the most glow?
00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:05.520
When did I feel the most feminine?
00:04:05.760 --> 00:04:07.520
The most like myself?
00:04:07.760 --> 00:04:14.240
And the answer was a time in my life when I felt light, strong, and full of energy.
00:04:14.480 --> 00:04:23.199
I remember exactly how that felt, how I moved, how I got dressed in the morning, how I walked into a room and owned it.
00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:26.719
That feeling became my real North Star.
00:04:27.920 --> 00:04:30.079
So here's where I am today.
00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:33.920
I am down about 200 pounds give and take.
00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:40.800
I weigh about 230-ish right now, and I am on a significant long plateau.
00:04:41.040 --> 00:04:49.360
And if I'm being honest with you, I am still pushing forward toward my wellness goals, and I do realize plateaus are part of this.
00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:53.280
They don't mean I failed, they mean I'm still in it.
00:04:53.600 --> 00:04:56.879
On paper, my goal weight is 145.
00:04:57.280 --> 00:05:00.639
That's about 85 more pounds for me to go.
00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:03.120
And I'm working toward it every day.
00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:05.439
But here's what's different now.
00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:08.240
That number isn't really the finish line.
00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:19.519
The feeling is when I wake up with energy, feel strong in my body, feel feminine and glowy and like myself, the way I remember feeling at my best.
00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:22.319
That's when I know I'll reach my goal.
00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:25.680
If I get there at 145, wonderful.
00:05:25.920 --> 00:05:32.400
If I feel, you know, that way before 145, then I've arrived.
00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:37.920
And I'm not going to beat myself up chasing a number just because I once wrote it down.
00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:44.079
How I feel, how I see myself, my energy levels, that's how I'll know.
00:05:44.240 --> 00:05:48.400
The sale gets a vote, but it doesn't get the final word.
00:05:49.360 --> 00:05:56.480
I want to share two kinds of moments with you because I think they'll help you see what really matters so much.
00:05:56.800 --> 00:06:05.920
The first kind, there have been so many times the scale didn't move, weeks where it
Load full transcript
just sat there, but I felt more alive.
00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:10.319
I had more energy, more gusto, my pants were a little looser.
00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:14.160
I was walking farther without getting tired.
00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:23.199
If I had to listen to the scale, I would have thought nothing was happening, but my body was telling me a completely different story.
00:06:23.439 --> 00:06:27.519
I was winning, even if the number said I wasn't.
00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:32.560
The second kind is the opposite, and it taught me so much.
00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:40.240
There were times I tried fasting for a full 24 hours, basically starving myself to get the number to drop.
00:06:40.400 --> 00:06:45.439
And yes, the scale went down a couple of pounds, but I felt terrible.
00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:49.120
I was tired, lethargic, foggy.
00:06:49.519 --> 00:06:53.040
I had nothing left to give anyone, including myself.
00:06:53.280 --> 00:06:58.560
So the number went right way in the right direction, but I felt worse.
00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:00.560
That's when it really clicked.
00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:06.319
If chasing a number makes me feel worse, then the number was never the real goal.
00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:09.280
Feeling good was the goal all along.
00:07:09.439 --> 00:07:13.120
I'm sharing this as my experience, not as advice for you.
00:07:13.439 --> 00:07:17.840
Everybody is different, and what works for one woman doesn't work for another.
00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:21.439
Please work with your doctor on anything that affects your health.
00:07:21.600 --> 00:07:24.319
But I'm telling you what I learned for myself.
00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:30.079
A lower number that comes from making myself miserable is not a win.
00:07:30.400 --> 00:07:32.800
So I'm not just watching the scale.
00:07:32.960 --> 00:07:37.519
What I'm watching, let me tell you what my real progress looks like.
00:07:37.759 --> 00:07:57.360
When I sleep better, when I wake up full of energy, with a clear, strong mind, when I have enough fuel in the tank to carry me through the whole day, enough to show up here for you online, to show up at work, for my dad, for my son, for my family and friends, and for myself.
00:07:57.600 --> 00:08:00.800
That's how I know I'm going in the right direction.
00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:05.199
And then there are things my body can do now that couldn't before.
00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:12.560
Let me list them for you because every single one of these is a victory that no scale will ever show you.
00:08:12.960 --> 00:08:15.680
I can climb stairs without struggling.
00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:19.920
I can walk long distances without getting winded.
00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:24.879
I can stretch, touch my toes, and bend in all different ways.
00:08:25.199 --> 00:08:30.639
I can wear cute, in-style clothes and feel feminine in every one of them.
00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:33.919
My hair is thicker, shinier, and healthier.
00:08:34.079 --> 00:08:38.559
My skin is clearer or more radiant,
and it actually glows.
00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:42.000
I sleep through the night soundly and comfortably.
00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:46.720
I can travel long distance again and walk whole cities on vacation.
00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:55.360
If you heard my Charleston episodes, you know how much I love walking tours, and I couldn't have done that the way I was like I can do now.
00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:58.399
I can sit in regular chairs without worrying.
00:08:58.559 --> 00:09:02.399
I can tie my shoes easier and get dressed faster.
00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:04.639
Those are not small wins.
00:09:04.879 --> 00:09:16.399
If you've ever worried about whether a chair would hold you, a dreaded flight of stairs, or a skip trip because you knew you couldn't keep up, you know exactly how big those things are.
00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:18.560
Those are my real wins.
00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:21.759
Those are things I'm most proudest of.
00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:25.519
I want to be real with you about something.
00:09:25.840 --> 00:09:32.399
Gaining a lot of weight and then working to lose a lot of weight is really an emotional roller coaster.
00:09:32.639 --> 00:09:38.480
There are highs and there are lows, and some days you don't even know which one you're on.
00:09:38.639 --> 00:09:40.399
But here's what it's given me.
00:09:40.639 --> 00:09:44.879
It's made me appreciate everything I have and everyone around me.
00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:51.279
It showed me who really loves me and you stuck around through every size and every season.
00:09:51.519 --> 00:10:00.720
It showed me how strong I am, how much I am capable of changing, and how much I can better myself when I decide.
00:10:00.960 --> 00:10:04.720
That part is worth more than a number on a scale.
00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:10.799
Let's talk about the big picture because this is really what my goal is about.
00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:16.000
I want to live a long, full, strong, capable life.
00:10:16.240 --> 00:10:18.320
I am talking 90 plus.
00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:30.639
I want to be the kind of woman who can still travel, still walk the city, still get up the floor, still play with my grandkids, still carry my own groceries.
00:10:30.879 --> 00:10:34.240
And I'll be honest with you about a big part of my why.
00:10:34.560 --> 00:10:37.440
I do not want to be a burden to my son.
00:10:37.680 --> 00:10:41.360
I am caring for my dad now and I love him very much.
00:10:41.600 --> 00:10:50.560
And it's also shown me up close how much our health is important in our later years and how much it shapes everything.
00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:52.720
I want to be self-reliant.
00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:54.720
I want to be proud of myself.
00:10:54.960 --> 00:10:58.799
I want to take care of me for as long as I possibly can.
00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:02.000
That's what a health goal really is.
00:11:02.320 --> 00:11:04.799
It's not about fitting a number.
00:11:04.960 --> 00:11:12.000
It's about building a body that can carry you through the life you want to live for as long as you get to live it.
00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:15.279
Okay, now I'm talking to you.
00:11:15.440 --> 00:11:16.639
Now it's your turn.
00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:20.240
I want you to ask yourself something honestly.
00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:23.279
Are you on a wellness journey right now?
00:11:23.519 --> 00:11:24.879
A weight loss journey?
00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:27.759
Maybe you're just thinking about starting one.
00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:33.919
If the answer is yes, or even a maybe, I want you to do something for me this week.
00:11:34.159 --> 00:11:42.399
Grab a notebook, a piece of paper, or open your notes app on your phone, and write down all of your health and wellness goals.
00:11:43.039 --> 00:11:46.960
Every single one, except the number on the scale.
00:11:47.279 --> 00:11:49.919
Here are some questions to get you started.
00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:52.960
How do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning?
00:11:53.440 --> 00:11:56.879
How much energy do you want at three in the afternoon?
00:11:57.600 --> 00:12:00.159
What do you want your body to be able to do?
00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:07.039
Climb stairs, walk a whole city on vacation, get down on the floor with your grandkids and get back up?
00:12:07.680 --> 00:12:09.279
How do you want to sleep?
00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:11.919
How do you want to feel when you get dressed?
00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:17.840
What do you want your life to look like at 70, at 80, at 90?
00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:22.320
Is there a time in your past when you felt your best?
00:12:22.560 --> 00:12:24.080
What did that feel like?
00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:26.399
What were you able to do?
00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:28.000
Write it all down.
00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:33.519
Then I want you to use that list as your guide, not the scale, that list.
00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:37.360
The scale can be one piece of information still.
00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:39.039
It's okay to check it.
00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:41.360
It's okay to have a goal number too.
00:12:41.600 --> 00:12:42.240
I do.
00:12:42.399 --> 00:12:45.759
But it's only one data point, not the whole story.
00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:48.159
Your list is the whole story.
00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:52.240
Your list is what tells you if you're winning.
00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:54.399
And here's my promise to you.
00:12:54.639 --> 00:13:03.759
When you start measuring your progress by how you feel and what you can do, you'll start noticing wins you were walking right past.
00:13:04.080 --> 00:13:06.320
Wins that were there the whole time.
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:10.159
So here's your one takeaway today.
00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:18.080
Your goal isn't just a number, it's a feeling, it's a life you get to live fully.
00:13:18.399 --> 00:13:29.840
Define success by your energy, your strength, how you sleep, how you move, and how you show up for the people you love, including yourself.
00:13:30.159 --> 00:13:34.799
Let the scale be one voice in the room, not the boss of it.
00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:38.639
If you write your list, I love to see it.
00:13:38.799 --> 00:13:43.919
Send me a message and tell me one goal on your list that has nothing to do with the scale.
00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:49.120
And if this episode helped you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it.
00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:52.320
Follow the show and leave a five star review.
00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:56.080
It helps other women like you, like me, find us.
00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:57.600
I'm right here with you.
00:13:57.759 --> 00:13:59.200
Plateau and all.
00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:01.120
Still pushing forward.
00:14:01.279 --> 00:14:02.960
We're doing this together.
00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:05.519
Keep glowing, keep growing.
00:14:05.840 --> 00:14:07.120
You have got this.
00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:09.279
Love the jacks.