TRANSKRIP 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:07.839 --> 00:00:11.679
Well, hello! And welcome to Inside Marcy's Mind.
00:00:12.320 --> 00:00:15.919
My name is Marcy, and I am your host.
00:00:16.399 --> 00:00:18.719
Today we need to talk about plans.
00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:24.320
Because apparently the universe looked at my plans and said, oh Marcy, that's adorable.
00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:27.920
If you know me at all, you know I love to plan.
00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:32.000
Actually, that's not entirely accurate.
00:00:32.240 --> 00:00:41.039
I like a plan, a backup plan, a document containing the plan, and preferably a nice little list telling me exactly where the plan is located.
00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:42.479
I like organization.
00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:43.920
It makes me happy.
00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:46.320
It makes me feel like I know what I'm doing.
00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:48.159
Makes me feel like I'm in control.
00:00:48.320 --> 00:00:49.200
Ha ha ha.
00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:54.960
And then life becomes comes along and reminds me, you are not in control.
00:00:55.280 --> 00:00:57.039
You don't know anything.
00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:01.679
Now you heard my quick little blip last week while I was in the hospital.
00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:04.000
I honestly don't know how I did those episodes.
00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:06.239
I was so concussed at the time.
00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:08.000
But I did them.
00:01:08.159 --> 00:01:12.879
They sound halfway decent, and at least I didn't go a week without an episode.
00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:14.879
And guess what?
00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:15.920
I had a plan.
00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:19.439
I was supposed to be getting ready for France right now.
00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:25.120
And I wasn't casually getting ready for France.
00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:25.840
Oh no.
00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:27.599
I had Paris planned.
00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:32.560
I had hotels, transportations, museums, restaurants, Disney Paris.
00:01:32.719 --> 00:01:34.319
Of course, Disney Paris.
00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:37.120
I had memes, Nice.
00:01:37.359 --> 00:01:38.400
I had schedules.
00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:40.079
I was going to Monaco.
00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:42.319
I had confirmations.
00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:43.760
I had everything organized.
00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:45.120
I had a list.
00:01:46.239 --> 00:01:50.159
And now instead of packing for France, I ended up packing for the hospital.
00:01:50.319 --> 00:01:50.719
Not really.
00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:51.599
I couldn't even pack.
00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:54.400
Poor Craig had to come home and get me stuff.
00:01:56.480 --> 00:02:00.799
You know, you don't need quite the same wardrobe for the hospital that you need.
00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:03.599
I all I needed was clean underwear, let's be real.
00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:07.840
Because life doesn't care about your spreadsheet.
00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:10.719
I've been thinking about this since I got home.
00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:14.560
I got home about four days ago.
00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:18.719
We spend an enormous amount of time planning our lives.
00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:21.759
And I actually think that's a good thing.
00:02:21.919 --> 00:02:29.360
I love having things to look forward to: trips, dinners with friends, theater tickets, holidays, podcasts, whatever it is.
00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:37.680
But somewhere in there, I think we occasionally start believing the plan and reality have entered into a legally binding agreement.
00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:38.560
Guess what?
00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:39.599
They have not.
00:02:40.479 --> 00:02:42.639
Reality assigned nothing.
00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:50.560
You can have reservations, tickets, insurance, confirmation numbers, a beautifully organized itinerary, and life can still say no.
00:02:51.439 --> 00:02:51.759
No.
00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:55.199
And it's frustrating.
00:02:55.360 --> 00:02:56.879
And yes, I'm disappointed.
00:02:57.120 --> 00:02:58.719
France is canceled.
00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:02.719
I'm not going to pretend I'm not disappointed.
00:03:02.879 --> 00:03:04.159
I was excited.
00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:06.800
I put a lot of energy into planning it.
00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:09.360
I was imagining being there.
00:03:11.120 --> 00:03:16.159
And when something you've been looking forward to disappears, you're allowed to be sad about it.
00:03:17.840 --> 00:03:19.120
Sit with that for a minute.
00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:21.199
Because I'm not just talking about trips and things.
00:03:21.360 --> 00:03:23.680
Lots of things happen in your life and my life.
00:03:24.960 --> 00:03:29.840
When something you've been looking forward to disappears, you are allowed to be sad.
00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:41.520
Even when you're grateful that you got great medical care and you've got this device implanted in you and and all those things, two things can be true.
00:03:41.680 --> 00:03:43.680
I'm still sad about Paris.
00:03:44.479 --> 00:03:46.479
And everybody goes, Oh, you could do it again.
00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:47.919
I don't know if I want to.
00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:52.319
I don't know if I trust myself traveling so far anymore.
00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:54.479
And that's okay too.
00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:01.680
Even when you know canceling something is a right decision, that's something I've been reminding myself.
00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:12.319
I can be grateful that I'm home, grateful for Medicare, Medic Medicare, and Medical Crusade grateful to be recovering, and still think, damn, I wanted to go to Paris.
00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:15.840
Those feelings don't cancel each other out, neither do yours.
00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:19.120
Here's a funny thing about control.
00:04:19.439 --> 00:04:23.120
I think planning gives us a sense of control, and I like control.
00:04:26.560 --> 00:04:30.560
Big rainstorm just moved in here in Chicago and it just got really dark.
00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:42.399
If I've researched everything, if I have all my confirmations, I know exactly where I'm supposed to be,
Load full transcript
then everything will go go according to plan.
00:04:43.839 --> 00:04:46.399
Except for that's not really what planning does.
00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:49.600
Planning doesn't guarantee a damn thing.
00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:55.040
It just helps us be prepared for the version of life we think is coming.
00:04:55.360 --> 00:04:57.600
Sometimes another version shows up.
00:04:57.839 --> 00:05:01.680
And I've learned that multiple this lesson is not new for me, people.
00:05:02.319 --> 00:05:04.800
I've just decided to share it with you.
00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:09.519
So what do you do?
00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:12.079
I think this is the part I'm figuring out now.
00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:14.079
This is the hardest part for me.
00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:19.360
I have a lot of PTSD and I've already gotten myself a cardiology therapist.
00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:26.959
Because peeling over right in the middle of the sidewalk when you're all by yourself is not a great thing.
00:05:30.800 --> 00:05:34.160
So you adjust to things.
00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:43.360
You probably get angry, maybe you cry, maybe you complain, maybe you say some words that are not appropriate for a family podcast.
00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:45.360
Then you adjust.
00:05:46.480 --> 00:05:49.920
I've been canceling reservations, I've been dealing with the insurances.
00:05:50.079 --> 00:05:57.279
I had Fred, my AI assistant, create a great spreadsheet for me to keep track of things when I got home from the hospital.
00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:06.240
And I take a little time each day to do things and then I rest because with a concussion, you cannot focus for a long period of time.
00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:18.399
You do adjust, you do what you need to do, you put your suitcase away, you look at what life actually looks like now instead of what you thought it was going to look like.
00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:20.160
You know what I did today?
00:06:20.399 --> 00:06:21.920
Today is October 1st.
00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:33.279
On October 1st, the walnut room, a very famous lunch room in the old Marshall Fields here in downtown Chicago, has a beautiful Christmas tree every year in the walnut room.
00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:34.639
And we go every year.
00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:38.000
I got reservations for Craig and I for the walnut room.
00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:40.720
Also, you know what happens on October 1st?
00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:49.120
The tickets go on sale for zoo lights at the Lincoln Park Zoo, and I'm a member there, and I got my tickets for that.
00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:51.279
I'm still making plans.
00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:56.319
Not a lot because I'm tired, but I'm making plans.
00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:02.639
I'm still me.
00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:04.480
I still want to do things.
00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:08.079
It's gonna take me a while to get out and about, but I'll do it.
00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:13.759
Tomorrow is the first time I'm gonna go out since I got home on Monday.
00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:15.759
I have a doctor's appointment.
00:07:16.480 --> 00:07:22.639
And it's two blocks away, and I will decide in the morning whether I'm gonna walk or whether I'm gonna take an Uber.
00:07:22.959 --> 00:07:28.000
And whichever I do will be right because it will be what makes me comfortable.
00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:36.240
The whole experience isn't gonna turn me into someone who says, Well, there's no point planning because you never know what will happen.
00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:37.600
Absolutely not.
00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:44.480
I was smart enough to buy all the insurances on this trip for the hotels and for the tours that I was taking.
00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:46.160
We're gonna get all our money back.
00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:47.519
It's gonna take me a little work.
00:07:47.600 --> 00:07:49.759
They make you jump through a lot of hoops, but guess what?
00:07:49.839 --> 00:07:51.519
I'm gonna get that money back.
00:07:52.160 --> 00:07:57.120
I've already got over$4,000 back for things.
00:07:57.360 --> 00:08:00.639
So we're down to the next$4,000.
00:08:00.879 --> 00:08:03.360
Once that's done, guess what?
00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:06.160
We got our money back.
00:08:08.639 --> 00:08:14.160
I want adventures, I want dinners, I want trips, I want things that make me excited when I wake up.
00:08:14.560 --> 00:08:18.560
The fact that one plan didn't happen doesn't mean we have to stop making plans.
00:08:18.800 --> 00:08:22.079
And I'm telling you my story so you know it.
00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:24.560
I won't talk about this incident anymore.
00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:26.399
My podcast will become fun.
00:08:26.480 --> 00:08:37.600
We'll talk about tips and tricks, we'll talk about pumpkins and fall things and coffees and fall festivals, and I will talk about all the things that make me happy moving forward.
00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:42.960
But I talk about this because you may have already experienced it in life, or you may going to be.
00:08:43.519 --> 00:08:45.919
And I want you to know that it's not the end.
00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:48.399
It's a hiccup, it's a blip.
00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:52.399
But then you move forward.
00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:55.519
So this is what I'm hoping happens.
00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:00.639
Maybe that's the deal we make with life.
00:09:01.039 --> 00:09:02.320
We keep planning.
00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:06.720
Sometimes the surprise is wonderful, sometimes it's absolutely sucks.
00:09:06.799 --> 00:09:13.919
And sometimes you find yourself sitting at home recording a podcast when you thought you'd be figuring out what to pack for France.
00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:19.360
I also thought I was gonna have to do a couple of extra episodes so that they'd be ready.
00:09:19.440 --> 00:09:20.159
So guess what?
00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:21.440
I don't have to do that.
00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:27.279
But I'm still here, I'm still moving forward, and eventually something else goes on the calendar.
00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:30.240
Here's a little challenge for this week.
00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:33.279
Here's what I want you to think about.
00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:35.759
What are you looking forward to?
00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:38.559
Now, what are you worried about?
00:09:41.039 --> 00:09:43.279
Now, what do you have to do?
00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:49.519
What's something on your calendar or something you want to put on your calendar that makes you happy?
00:09:49.840 --> 00:09:51.039
Just think about it.
00:09:51.279 --> 00:09:53.679
Give yourself something to anticipate.
00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:56.240
Jokingly, I have a lot.
00:09:56.480 --> 00:10:00.720
November, middle of November, I'm going to California to our friend's beach house.
00:10:00.879 --> 00:10:04.639
I have a day planned with all the kids, Sharon, Alec, Kyle.
00:10:05.919 --> 00:10:08.879
I have a Disneyland day planned with my bestie.
00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:17.440
I have at the end of this month, I have a night of a thousand pumpkins at the Chicago Arboretum.
00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:22.399
Make sure you have things in your life to look forward to.
00:10:22.799 --> 00:10:30.559
And before I go, if you're wondering what's happening over on my other podcast this week, we're doing things a little differently.
00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:37.039
On Aging A for Sissies, I had I did an episode not on my aging bingo card.
00:10:37.200 --> 00:10:42.399
And Unbottle, we talk about just because you're sober, life can't throw you a curveball.
00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:45.759
Being sober doesn't mean life stops happening.
00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:48.639
It means you actually get to be present for it.
00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:54.080
So if you feel like it, catch those two episodes of Aging A for Sissies and Unbottled.
00:10:54.480 --> 00:10:57.679
So France is canceled, the itinerary is useless.
00:10:57.919 --> 00:10:59.919
My plans change and I'm okay.
00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:01.279
Disappointed, yes.
00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:03.440
Okay and safe, yes.
00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:07.039
And somewhere down the road, there will be another trip.
00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:13.120
There will be another plan, and you know me, there will definitely be another spreadsheet.
00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:17.440
I am Marcy, and this has been Inside Marcy's mind.
00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:21.120
And I will talk to you next week about all things fall.
00:11:21.360 --> 00:11:24.000
Let's just dive headfirst into fall.
00:11:25.519 --> 00:11:27.200
Have a great week.