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[SPEAKER_01]: Hi, I'm Yui Shiu, and I'm Julie Craftscheck.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We're active data's turn dating insiders.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Here to dive into everything modern dating and relationships.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Datable.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hello friends.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back to another episode of Datable.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is going to be such an inspirational episode of going with your gut feeling and then being spiritually and emotionally aligned.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We've got Kristen Sach who is the host of the Alignment Academy podcast.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She's a spiritual coach and an inner work mentor and she is telling us
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[SPEAKER_02]: about her story.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We were actually lucky enough to be on her podcast where we talked about dayday.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And at the time, this was about a year ago, she was super single, felt very stuck in her life in San Diego.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And we've been following her and we're just like, wow, she has done a 360 with her life like really.
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[SPEAKER_02]: She has moved to Bali.
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[SPEAKER_02]: She has had some other stops along the way that we'll get into.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And she's in a relationship and we're really talking today about how do you go from feeling stuck to creating the life that you want and realizing like when it is time for that next chapter versus when you're just like running away from the problems that you feel like you're going through.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then we go on this travel journey with Kristen going from San Diego to San Francisco.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then there's many stops in between San Francisco and Bali.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like an adventure show, you know, you just like, oh, okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going on going on this vacation with Kristen.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But it is the movement geographical movement.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But also just this spiritual movement that has really helped her open up to this love that she has today.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and we talk about like, how do you still continue to choose love without sacrificing the rest of your life and living a life and motion, but also making room and allowing for love to come in and following love, if you feel like in your heart of hearts, this is the right move and not just letting something go because maybe it logistically doesn't feel as simple as it could be if you just met someone.
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[SPEAKER_02]: in your hometown.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I really like how we talk about just like how to build a life that doesn't necessarily follow the traditional path but makes you happy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Perfect episode for anybody who may be feeling stuck questioning if they are where they should be geographically or you like itching to go somewhere or to check out a new environment.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is the episode for you because
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[SPEAKER_02]: And if you want to consult with someone about what decisions to make, what other better place than our AI coaching app, you leave for short.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We love this app.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It helps you kind of process dating situations that you're going through and
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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, it's available to try out for free for seven days and see if it's the right fit for you.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And if so, it's a monthly subscription.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And if not, then you try it and you learn something.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And we're all about what works for you and what gives you the right and best path forward.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I use it every day.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I talk to that every day.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is almost my best friend.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Almost.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm saying.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But you can find out more information about this app at studio.com slash dateable.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Awesome.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Well, before we get into it, let's take a minute to hear from our sponsors.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, let's hear it from Kristen.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Kristen welcome to date of all we've been stalking you and now we get to actually fill in the blanks so it's been happening in your journey because the last time we spoke you were like I want to move to Seth you were in San Diego very different stage in your life and fast forward to today you are not in
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, just like a, you know, it's like just a quick plane ride away from SF, no big deal, but yes, we just want to get the update.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You are also, I remember very single at the moment, and now you are in a relationship.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So we're going to also hear about the transformation that happened.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So maybe let's go back.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go back to last year because that's when we talked.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I remember you feeling like a little stuck in San Diego, which was kind of starting this feeling of like, maybe SF is the place I want to be.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Take this
Load full transcript
back to that time.
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[SPEAKER_02]: What was going on for you in life and in love?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So the last time I was hanging out with you guys and we spoke and we chatted about my dating life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I was very single.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had been single for about three years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I also was like, I wanted to find my person.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't just like, I want to date.
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[SPEAKER_00]: to have fun.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was like I am like ready for a very serious relationship.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm ready to find the person that I'm going to either spend a lot of time with and like learn and evolve with or my ultimate person because I've learned to just trust the unknown with that kind of stuff.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that we can make.
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[SPEAKER_00]: you know, cut and dry things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I was ready to find my next person.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But to be honest, I wasn't dating a lot in San Diego even though I really wanted to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I was really open.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was going to things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was hanging out with people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was even getting on the apps a little bit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And nothing was quite
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[SPEAKER_00]: coming through like nothing that felt super, super close to what, to what I, um, what it was desiring.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And life happened and I find that, you know, I'm a very spiritual person if, if, you know, your audiences that know me, I very much think that you clear out a lot of your ego, like life will just kind of show you where to go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I had been getting this weird ping for San Francisco for a while.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like every time someone talked about San Francisco, I don't know how to quite describe it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was like, it almost bulled it in my mind.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was like, huh, I've never considered San Francisco.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But like, what's there for me?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what could be there?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And...
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[SPEAKER_00]: In San Diego, you know, I had built this life that I had manifested for years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I really wanted to live in this little beach town.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had this beautiful beach front apartment that overlooks the ocean.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I could hear the waves crashing at night.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, I had all of these little things that I had wanted at some point.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I felt a little bit like, I done it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I thought I would do it with a partner and I didn't.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I did it and like, what else is there in the world, you know?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it was a sleepy beach town, and I just felt like, well, maybe I need to be more in a city, like hustle and bustle, and you know, whatever.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, I opened my mind in my heart to this San Francisco idea, but it was a more like, okay, maybe down the line in my next thing where I move, like, when my lease is up, whatever.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then life happened, and I felt like San Diego just pushed me out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the only way I can describe it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was like there a whole bunch of stuff in my house started breaking like all the sudden my stuff in my house started breaking over and over and over again like first my fridge Then my shower then this like these these weird inconveniences my dog could not get rid of his fleece like he had fleece It was a very small apartment.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I would clean it up and down get a professional cleaned He would still have fleece like he and I was like this is a weird thing because he was on medication to like I it was just a weird thing
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then I had a really, I'm gonna be super frank with you guys.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had a really sad kind of like friendship ending with a lot of my San Diego friends.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I had this weird, you know, thing where we had a disagreement and we ended up ending a friendship.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And at that point, I'm like, what is here for me anymore?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's been a how I felt.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was like what is here for me?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't know I don't have like my best friends anymore.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel a little lonely here I've been feeling like I've been done with this place and so anyway long story short I messaged this one person.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I knew one person's in San Francisco I knew nobody else.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I messaged this one girl that I met at an other
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[SPEAKER_00]: networking event like six months before and I said hey girl this is super random but I know you live in San Francisco.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm looking to maybe try it out for a couple of months like maybe a month or two so do you know anybody that's sublycing a room and she goes actually one of my friend Katrina literally just posts on her Instagram yesterday that she's sublycing her room and it was like
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[SPEAKER_00]: the nicest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was such a nice house in the best area of San Francisco.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I like texted her.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We had a FaceTime call.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She was amazing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And everything just fell into place and she was like, but it actually would be next month.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, okay, well,
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let me see if I can make it happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then I message in like a San Diego group.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I'm sublaced in my house.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Someone snapped it up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So it was like all of a sudden the universe just put all these puzzle pieces together for me to go to San Francisco.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So anyway.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, last time we talked, I was in San Diego, but that is the T and the actual story behind how I got to San Francisco and then San Francisco was a whole other portal.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I want to hear about this whole other portal, but I feel like we have a similar story of how we were pulled to San Francisco very similarly I was
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[SPEAKER_01]: In SF, I was visiting the sky that my friend has set me up with, but it wasn't really a thing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was visiting her, and she's like, my, the sky in my building that I just share the elevator with said that he had an apartment in this building for rent.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I said like a cute little studio apartment.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, do you want it?
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's only $1,500, which is like nothing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, oh, heck yeah, so I moved there the next month.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's just like things just fall into place and you can't you almost can't say no if somethings if you're being called to something like there is no no in that I really believe we have soul contracts with places like that's just a belief I have you know people talk about like oh you have this soul contract with the person like you have friends so contracts you have soul mates whatever I believe we also have soul contracts with places and when it's done it's done
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[SPEAKER_00]: and when it's time to go and like move places it's like everything will shift into place to to get you there.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So that's interesting because maybe we'll get your take on this
because we hear a lot from people that it's like I need to change up my city, I need to move, his dating is not working for me and a lot of it's I think there's a difference too if it's driven by like I really want to move to this place because it's right for me.
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[SPEAKER_02]: versus I want to move for dating and I personally feel mixed on it because on one side I like it because it kind of gets you into a new element, it gets you feeling fresh and energetic and excited to be where you are, but then on the other side I'm not sure if you can like run from like what's inside, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like if you're reason for moving is because of dating for instance.
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[SPEAKER_02]: What's your take on location switch up and all of that for your energy with dating and long-term?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Wherever you go, there you are, you know?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I agree with you that if you are moving to date, you're going to get, you know, so people who don't know, I do a lot of inner work and I do a lot of work around what I call this universal law called the law of reflections.
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[SPEAKER_00]: meaning whatever you're seeing in your reality, let's say you're seeing really emotionally unavailable people, there's something in you that is attracting that reflection.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't care if you're in San Diego or San Francisco, you're gonna wherever you go there, you're gonna attract the same reflection in a different body.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I agree with you that there is a level of like, if you're just doing it to find your person, I don't know if that's the highest reason to go somewhere.
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[SPEAKER_00]: However, I, way that I live my life is I am always putting my like personal alignment above everything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the move to San Francisco was never for dating.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was never for dating.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was because I was genuinely like feeling the soul pole to a new city.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I've done that several times.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I've done that where I've just felt a call to this place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I go there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I, this place, and go there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because I'm originally from Florida.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've lived in Baltimore.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've lived in LA, San Diego.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Orange County San Francisco, now Bali.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like I really I've really kind of like pull like move my soul around a lot and I believe that if you're dating I actually believe that if you focus solely on your mission
and your soul purpose and getting an alignment with you you're going to run into your person like no matter what that's my belief
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I think focus on you and like your career and your soul purpose and what's going to make you happy and that is automatically going to bring you closer or further away from a place right so there could be there could be some positive effect of your feeling like I'm kind of stuck or I'm in a slump or like the people where I currently live or just like not aligned for me like there still could be better fit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely because it sounds like that's just overall alignment, you know, and I believe moving like I always say like I believe moving is the biggest quantum leap you can do like even that move from San Diego to San Francisco you are completely like literally like you are jumping a timeline automatically because think about it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you're living this one life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to your same coffee shop.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to their same gym.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're seeing this these same people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: your in this like timeline of like same things going to happen over and over it essentially.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then all of a sudden you move to a new place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have a new gym.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have a coffee shop.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have a new people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're passing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have a new dog walking route.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like it automatically opens up all these doors.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, maybe if you do feel stuck and you're like, yeah, this place that I live feels out of alignment in a lot of ways and dating,
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[SPEAKER_00]: some magic to getting so out of your comfort zone and becoming a new person in that new place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So what happened in SF?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Tell us about, give us a highlight.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I really wanted to give you guys the really big details to what happened in San Diego because as the story unfolds, it's really important for meeting my person, I think, especially like the whole friendship piece.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's why I'm giving you guys all the details.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So know that
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so then I go to San Francisco and obviously I'm looking my friendship wounds.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing a lot of inner-child work and healing around, you know, why did I attract that?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What was
my role in that?
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[SPEAKER_00]: How can I grow?
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[SPEAKER_00]: How can I evolve?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I become really good friends with my roommate who was just like beautiful gift in this whole thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I started dating and I actually feel really fucking magnetic in San Francisco.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I did find that like, just this is a side note, but I find that San Francisco is a lot more cultured.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot more people too that like look like me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So it felt like, you know, I've grown up in a, I grew up in a very like white town.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm no stranger to like that kind of community, but that was kind of a little bit of the community that was in San Diego.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I just felt like a different version of myself around more diverse people to be honest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: which is what I'm saying about this timeline late.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it kind of like pulled out this new version of me where I felt really magnetic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like feeling really beautiful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm feeling like all these new people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I start dating just here and there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I meet people a lot because I'm going to all these networking events.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But there was this one guy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I was feeling like I was close.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I literally feel like I'm so close to this person like it was this intuitive feeling and I was just feeling good and I meet the sky on on hinge actually and we end up going out like very like you know day of he's like you want to go to like a comp
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no, it was a jazz club at night, you know, and it was like a very quick thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He was much older than me, but like it was like, you know, we didn't have a lot of texting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We just like made a plan and we went and I really liked that because I wasn't huge app scroll, but I wasn't against it either because I believe that you have to open up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: all the portals of the first to work and, you know, just whatever, I was new to this city, so I'm like, why the hell not?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I go to, okay, one more detail of the story because this is very important.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Before I told you guys on the last time we talked, before I was single for three years, I had a really, really terrible breakup and that breakup was in actually happened in San Diego,
16:25.448 --> 16:26.869
[SPEAKER_00]: just for people to know.
16:26.909 --> 16:28.809
[SPEAKER_00]: I went through like the worst breakup of my life.
16:29.310 --> 16:33.531
[SPEAKER_00]: Three years prior in San Diego and then I moved away from San Diego and then I moved back.
16:33.731 --> 16:37.553
[SPEAKER_00]: But then now I'm in San Francisco and I moved, I'm in San Francisco.
16:37.733 --> 16:43.455
[SPEAKER_00]: So I go on a date with this dude and he is like we have immediate sparks.
16:43.755 --> 16:51.181
[SPEAKER_00]: We're like having sparks like as soon as I see him, he actually holds a parking spot for me and I get out of the car and like he's like talking to the guy.
16:51.201 --> 16:51.821
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, sorry.
16:51.841 --> 16:55.344
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm holding this spot for my girlfriend and like it was like really cute.
16:55.684 --> 17:00.028
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like because you know, he's not going to say like this girl that I don't know, but like Dave's crying.
17:00.128 --> 17:01.329
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, never met before.
17:01.389 --> 17:01.569
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
17:02.349 --> 17:11.313
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's just like a media spark and like I get out of the car and whatever We go sit down in the jazz club and we're chatting and he's like so like what brought you to San Francisco?
17:11.333 --> 17:30.660
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like I just got here like five days ago and He was like really like where did you come from and I was like oh, like I I used to live It like I do have a house still in and Sanitas which is where I used to live in San Diego this little town and he goes I just got back from three months living in and Sanitas
17:30.880 --> 17:32.001
[SPEAKER_00]: And I go, what?
17:32.221 --> 17:51.592
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was doing what I was doing in San Francisco, in anesthetics, so he was kind of feeling called to go somewhere else too, and he had some friends down in San Diego, so he was like staying in a house in anesthetics, but he decided like it wasn't for him, so he came back to San Francisco, so he had just gotten back as well.
17:52.052 --> 17:53.634
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, that's so weird.
17:53.654 --> 17:56.176
[SPEAKER_01]: So we were having all the sync, so we had that synchronicity.
17:56.256 --> 18:01.360
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we had basically like the ethnicity of my mom and his dad were like swapped.
18:01.580 --> 18:03.342
[SPEAKER_00]: So we were like the same, but like swapped.
18:03.682 --> 18:04.242
[SPEAKER_00]: Mom and dad.
18:04.282 --> 18:09.707
[SPEAKER_00]: So we had that synchronicity and the town that he grew up in, I think he was like from the Midwester.
18:09.747 --> 18:16.512
[SPEAKER_00]: Like something to do with his hometown was the same hometown as my sister's husband grew up.
18:16.572 --> 18:19.215
[SPEAKER_00]: So we had that connection, but here is the kicker.
18:19.915 --> 18:20.616
[SPEAKER_00]: So here's the kicker.
18:21.116 --> 18:36.448
[SPEAKER_00]: So then
we keep talking and I'm telling you we had like sparks like I'm like this might be the freaking one like oh my god Wow, you know, it was feeling really good and then we uh we get and I'm like I had this random thought I'm like so We're in where an entity does to do live
18:36.768 --> 18:37.168
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god.
18:37.208 --> 18:39.009
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, goosebumps.
18:39.029 --> 18:44.553
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, I don't know, let me pull up the address and he pulls up the address on his phone.
18:45.113 --> 18:46.874
[SPEAKER_00]: And I freak out.
18:47.014 --> 18:49.316
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, oh my god, and he's like, what?
18:49.636 --> 18:49.896
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
18:50.096 --> 18:56.440
[SPEAKER_00]: So the Airbnb, the Airbnb, it's like a long term, or it's a short term, you know, Airbnb.
18:56.640 --> 18:57.941
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's one of those things.
18:58.121 --> 19:03.224
[SPEAKER_00]: Basically the place he lived in was the, okay, so let me go back to my breakup.
19:03.644 --> 19:10.530
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was moving, when I had my breakup, my ex and I were moving from LA to San Diego in looking for a house.
19:10.710 --> 19:12.991
[SPEAKER_00]: But San Diego market is very, very rough.
19:13.172 --> 19:19.456
[SPEAKER_00]: So we got like a long-term Airbnb and we lived in it for three months and then we had our breakup in this Airbnb.
19:20.257 --> 19:31.483
[SPEAKER_00]: And I had the worst, I had the worst memories in my entire life in this Airbnb because he left and we were together for four years and I he like, it was just a really bad breakup was like, there was no closure whatsoever.
19:31.743 --> 19:39.968
[SPEAKER_00]: So long story short, he was staying in the Airbnb that I was with with my ex and we had our break that's wild.
19:40.128 --> 19:45.531
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to dive into this even more, but before we do, let's take a quick break to hear from our partners.
19:46.204 --> 19:52.632
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought you were going to say that they were like friends, but that's like the Airbnb is also very crazy too.
19:52.652 --> 19:57.599
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought you were going to say they were friends or he'd be like, got plastic surgery and it's the same thing.
19:57.659 --> 19:58.059
[SPEAKER_01]: It was him.
19:58.900 --> 20:00.262
[SPEAKER_01]: It was him.
20:00.302 --> 20:00.883
[SPEAKER_01]: He's back.
20:01.263 --> 20:24.146
[SPEAKER_02]: That is kind of crazy though like to like be in the same physical space especially when it's Something that's been like so top of mind for you with like clear energy at all that Yeah, it was it was wild and it's like we were we were also in the same town for three months So I was kind of like where we are always gonna cross past like like why do you think then yeah like why is it now?
20:24.526 --> 20:25.967
[SPEAKER_02]: So what happened?
20:26.007 --> 20:28.848
[SPEAKER_02]: Did you like keep seeing him or was it like too weird?
20:28.928 --> 20:32.509
[SPEAKER_00]: So we definitely we definitely kept seeing each other.
20:32.669 --> 20:41.052
[SPEAKER_00]: We went on maybe two more dates, but I also was kind of like traveling a lot during that time I had a retreat in Joshua Tree so I was kind of like leaving for two two and a half weeks.
20:41.332 --> 20:55.854
[SPEAKER_00]: And as time went on we had a lot of like he was almost everything that I wanted like he was like I told my best friend and I have I have this like recorded on one of my podcasts that I'm giving the update I'm like I either met the guy or the guy before the guy
20:56.414 --> 20:59.816
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know which one it is, but I met hit it's that close.
20:59.856 --> 21:04.038
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't tell though because there was a couple of things that were just a little bit off, right?
21:04.858 --> 21:17.224
[SPEAKER_00]: But he was so close and we started dating, but he was moving back so he didn't like have a home so he was staying with his friend and he was looking for an apartment and to be completely transparent he was a little emotionally unavailable.
21:17.404 --> 21:23.229
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know fully at the time, but we lived actually one block away because he was staying at his friend's house.
21:23.429 --> 21:30.495
[SPEAKER_00]: And he would have excuses of like, we would only like see each other maybe one time a week, if that.
21:30.756 --> 21:37.622
[SPEAKER_00]: And then, I hadn't had a lot of it dating experience, so I was like obviously giving him so much grace and it was completely fine.
21:37.802 --> 21:42.486
[SPEAKER_00]: But now looking back, I'm like, if a guy wants you, they write.
21:42.746 --> 21:48.412
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter where they are, you know, like it's like they will ruthlessly be pursuing you.
21:48.552 --> 21:48.873
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
21:49.093 --> 21:50.595
[SPEAKER_02]: I remember I dated so guy.
21:50.615 --> 21:53.478
[SPEAKER_02]: He lived like two blocks for me and worked two blocks for me.
21:53.498 --> 21:57.322
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, like he could never find the time, but it's like really high.
21:57.362 --> 21:57.662
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
21:58.183 --> 21:58.964
[SPEAKER_01]: It's information.
21:59.224 --> 22:00.025
[SPEAKER_01]: It's information.
22:00.545 --> 22:01.606
[SPEAKER_00]: And you need, you need data.
22:01.726 --> 22:03.767
[SPEAKER_00]: I always say like we just gotta get more data, you know?
22:03.948 --> 22:09.852
[SPEAKER_00]: So long story short, things just weren't clicking because when I was around, it felt like he was always too busy.
22:10.112 --> 22:18.037
[SPEAKER_00]: And so again, I, I had told you guys, I was really looking for the one and I was not willing to settle for anything, but the real thing.
22:18.277 --> 22:24.682
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I ended up messaging him and saying, you know, we were clearly supposed to meet and I have nothing but good things.
22:24.742 --> 22:28.865
[SPEAKER_00]: And obviously we have amazing
chemistry, but I'm gonna be honest, like I'm looking for something.
22:29.685 --> 22:31.206
[SPEAKER_00]: a little bit more intentional.
22:31.666 --> 22:36.249
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just don't feel like you have the space for the time to fully, you know, pursue this.
22:36.449 --> 22:39.251
[SPEAKER_00]: And he also knew that I was leaving for the holidays.
22:39.491 --> 22:40.291
[SPEAKER_02]: Good for you though.
22:40.311 --> 22:42.292
[SPEAKER_02]: That's such a good direct message.
22:42.833 --> 22:43.153
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
22:43.373 --> 22:44.013
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
22:44.274 --> 22:46.415
[SPEAKER_00]: And we ended on and he was like,
22:46.915 --> 22:50.177
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, like, you deserve more than what I've been able to give you.
22:50.317 --> 22:56.161
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been pretty much like he said in his own words, like I've been in survival, and I haven't been able to think about dating.
22:56.341 --> 23:01.704
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, I'm sorry, and you know, if you come back, because I told him, I was maybe planning on moving back, but I wasn't really sure.
23:01.764 --> 23:03.665
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I just didn't know where my life was going to take me.
23:03.685 --> 23:09.249
[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, like, if he was like, if you do come back, like, maybe we can read, like, let's revisit this.
23:09.269 --> 23:10.910
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was just like, you know what?
23:10.950 --> 23:13.652
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like doors open, but it's close for me for now.
23:13.712 --> 23:15.493
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not like holding on, but like,
23:16.013 --> 23:21.036
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure, you know, maybe in the future in another timeline, we would be a match and it would be great.
23:21.497 --> 23:29.362
[SPEAKER_02]: I do want to just pause all that though because I feel like that's so important for people to hear because I think especially with the person's like, oh, maybe we can make it work.
23:29.402 --> 23:32.144
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like so easy to like keep that hope.
23:32.544 --> 23:36.168
[SPEAKER_02]: But I really love that you were like, I know what I'm looking for.
23:36.448 --> 23:39.611
[SPEAKER_02]: This isn't it's not even though the chemistry is there.
23:39.771 --> 23:42.014
[SPEAKER_02]: Even though there's a lot on paper there.
23:42.074 --> 23:45.898
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it just doesn't feel aligned with what I want.
23:45.998 --> 23:48.500
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's like so important and powerful.
23:48.560 --> 23:51.183
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what like allows the right person to come in.
23:51.223 --> 23:54.325
[SPEAKER_00]: a million percent and it closed the energetic door with that.
23:54.505 --> 24:03.412
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that that vibrationally and energetically signals to the universe, I'm not willing to settle for a hundred percent because people will just like keep it going.
24:03.432 --> 24:08.956
[SPEAKER_02]: They'll be like, oh, I'll just keep dating, but I'll keep this person at the back burner and it's a different energy.
24:09.576 --> 24:10.156
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know what?
24:10.256 --> 24:15.259
[SPEAKER_00]: I could tell he was keeping me in the back burner like over over the story as the story evolves.
24:15.279 --> 24:20.541
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll see like it was like he was keeping me in the back burner, but I actually had totally genuinely closed the door.
24:20.961 --> 24:27.824
[SPEAKER_00]: My genuine belief with with dating now and just relationships in general is like if it's not you it's better.
24:28.085 --> 24:28.985
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it has to be.
24:29.245 --> 24:31.946
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's going to be even more aligned.
24:32.006 --> 24:34.607
[SPEAKER_00]: And with you, I got even more data of what I wanted.
24:34.727 --> 24:36.988
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I have more data for the universe to work with.
24:37.088 --> 24:43.610
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, I think it's really important to have, you know, people talk about abundance mindset with money with things.
24:43.670 --> 24:51.552
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, I think the most important abundance mindset is also abundance mindset with people with dating friends with like, definitely stuff.
24:51.612 --> 24:56.134
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, you can't think that they're the only fucking person that could make you happy in the world.
24:56.974 --> 25:15.427
[SPEAKER_01]: there's many people in the world you know but even with all of the connections you had you could have easily given into that story and said we're meant to be we were at the universe brought us together et cetera et cetera and you didn't fall for that trap and you were like you know it's someone he's here he was
25:16.347 --> 25:20.332
[SPEAKER_01]: I was meant to meet him, but he's not the person for me, so moving on.
25:20.352 --> 25:30.504
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I've actually had quite a lot of these really crazy synchronistic connections with men, and I learned a long time ago that just because you have a synchronisticity doesn't mean that they're the one.
25:30.925 --> 25:32.827
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's an important thing to tell people.
25:33.087 --> 25:36.828
[SPEAKER_00]: because they hold on to hope if they need you up.
25:37.048 --> 25:40.310
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes we have to say, yeah, that's a crazy sink.
25:40.390 --> 25:49.193
[SPEAKER_00]: Like this is it, it was, it was the craziest sinker to see, like he lived in the house that I, I was like, like, you know, at the time I'm like, wow, like, I was crying in that house.
25:49.213 --> 25:51.733
[SPEAKER_00]: And I never knew that this guy would be in that house.
25:51.773 --> 25:54.494
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what, it's like, I was making up all these stories in my mind.
25:54.534 --> 25:56.055
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was really going for it.
25:56.135 --> 25:57.916
[SPEAKER_00]: But then I'm like, I don't care if he was in that house.
25:58.136 --> 25:59.156
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, I know.
25:59.236 --> 26:01.057
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm really seeing him at one time a week.
26:02.337 --> 26:04.219
[SPEAKER_01]: and he had nothing to do with you.
26:04.360 --> 26:07.563
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a coincidence, you know, yeah, great.
26:07.744 --> 26:07.944
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
26:08.184 --> 26:08.404
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
26:08.524 --> 26:10.687
[SPEAKER_02]: So what else happened in SF?
26:10.787 --> 26:21.640
[SPEAKER_02]: So you obviously met this guy like how else do you think it changed you and how you show up for dating and relationships and just you as a person as well.
26:21.660 --> 26:25.863
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, I think that it made me a lot more confident in who I was.
26:25.903 --> 26:29.025
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I told you I just felt like it was like a different pool of people.
26:29.185 --> 26:31.867
[SPEAKER_00]: And where I lived was a very small town.
26:31.907 --> 26:39.573
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm saying like you're going to see the same people at the coffee shop that you do at the gym, that you do at the beach, like you run into people all the time, which is a good thing.
26:39.833 --> 26:45.837
[SPEAKER_00]: And it can be like a little, you know, not good if you're if you're wanting to expand your work.
26:45.937 --> 26:46.818
[SPEAKER_02]: It opened you up.
26:46.958 --> 26:47.218
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
26:47.398 --> 26:47.518
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
26:47.638 --> 26:54.964
[SPEAKER_00]: And I also felt like, you know, one of the other reasons I wanted to leave San Diego is because of that networking thing is like, I am an entrepreneur.
26:55.184 --> 26:56.185
[SPEAKER_00]: I have my own business.
26:56.325 --> 26:57.166
[SPEAKER_00]: I think big.
26:57.406 --> 26:59.068
[SPEAKER_00]: I am very worldly.
26:59.468 --> 27:01.469
[SPEAKER_00]: I want big things for myself.
27:01.830 --> 27:05.673
[SPEAKER_00]: And to be completely honest, like, it was the same people.
27:05.773 --> 27:08.996
[SPEAKER_00]: And I had trouble finding people that were as ambitious as me.
27:09.116 --> 27:13.619
[SPEAKER_00]: And San Diego, because it's very, it's a very relaxed town by and as soon as I got to San
27:16.902 --> 27:17.142
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
27:17.222 --> 27:21.045
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was going to so many networking events, meeting so many cool people.
27:21.245 --> 27:36.395
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that expanded me as well of like just remembering how big the world is just remembering that like every time I walk out my door, it's a portal and it's like I had so many synchronistic moments in San Francisco like running into someone from college running into this person.
27:36.975 --> 27:57.892
[SPEAKER_00]: you know getting invited to this thing and it was just a moment of like magic happening because I had the courage to to leave something that I knew and that I loved and try something else you know and so I think that that automatically creates a certain type of magnetism in you you're like look at me like it's like the feeling inside of me was like wow
27:58.673 --> 28:02.374
[SPEAKER_00]: I literally, like, I left that city that I knew that wasn't right for me.
28:02.494 --> 28:05.274
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm dating, I'm out here living my life, I'm figuring it out.
28:05.294 --> 28:09.635
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it creates a certain type of, like, self-trust and, like, yeah, love for yourself, you know?
28:09.655 --> 28:09.955
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
28:09.995 --> 28:14.816
[SPEAKER_02]: So what made you decide to leave and how long were you there all set and done?
28:14.916 --> 28:15.236
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
28:15.296 --> 28:18.017
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was there for about a little over three months, total.
28:18.057 --> 28:26.059
[SPEAKER_00]: I was only supposed to stay a month and I ended up staying three because I just wanted to test it out and I was always going to leave because I still had my lease in San Diego.
28:26.079 --> 28:26.479
[SPEAKER_00]: Got it.
28:26.499 --> 28:27.079
[SPEAKER_02]: So got it.
28:27.499 --> 28:33.766
[SPEAKER_00]: I was always gonna leave, and I also was gonna leave for the holidays because I wanted to go home because I'm from Florida.
28:34.347 --> 28:35.769
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was always gonna leave in November.
28:35.909 --> 28:36.910
[SPEAKER_00]: So I left in November.
28:37.010 --> 28:39.493
[SPEAKER_00]: Very, very, maybe like end of October, early November.
28:39.533 --> 28:44.559
[SPEAKER_00]: I left, and I went home to Florida, and I was also hosting retreat in Peru in January.
28:44.839 --> 28:45.520
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was
28:45.980 --> 28:50.344
[SPEAKER_00]: like, okay, I'm going to go to home to Florida and then I'm just going to go to Peru and that's what made the most sense.
28:50.504 --> 28:58.631
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I was thinking, okay, maybe I'll come back and move back for good in March after my retreat and after I go travel a little bit more.
28:59.012 --> 29:02.294
[SPEAKER_00]: That was like my plan, like, okay, maybe San Francisco and March.
29:02.355 --> 29:06.638
[SPEAKER_00]: But while I had that, like, that was the, that was the best option at the time.
29:06.738 --> 29:10.662
[SPEAKER_00]: Whenever I felt into coming back to San Francisco at the end when I was
29:13.204 --> 29:18.808
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a good option, but it doesn't feel like a full body fuck.
29:18.848 --> 29:23.792
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and I always look for those full body Yeses in my life like I'm a very decisive person.
29:24.252 --> 29:25.413
[SPEAKER_00]: I know myself very well.
29:25.553 --> 29:31.177
[SPEAKER_00]: I know on something feels an alignment and it just didn't feel fully in alignment
29:31.437 --> 29:55.165
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I told you in your audience like I'm very spiritual and I I channel and I open my intuition a lot for myself and when I would open my intuition and ask hey why doesn't San Francisco feel right like where am I going to move I don't want to move back to San Diego like where am I going to go the answer I got every time was you're not
supposed to know yet you're not supposed to know yet you're not supposed to know yet so I would just say okay like I'm not supposed to know like
30:01.375 --> 30:03.836
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, yes, let it unfold.
30:05.437 --> 30:13.480
[SPEAKER_00]: So after San Francisco, I went home to Florida and then about seven days after I went home, I had a Joe dispenser retreat booked.
30:14.001 --> 30:20.784
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you guys don't know who Joe dispenses, he's like this meditation guy that teaches people, you know, how to basically create things in their life.
30:20.984 --> 30:22.605
[SPEAKER_00]: Or heal in crazy ways.
30:22.645 --> 30:24.305
[SPEAKER_00]: Like he's just, yeah, the spiritual guy.
30:24.465 --> 30:25.366
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you guys are part of him.
30:25.566 --> 30:27.547
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I had this retreat booked.
30:27.687 --> 30:27.827
[SPEAKER_00]: But I
30:28.227 --> 30:31.831
[SPEAKER_00]: actually I'll tell you guys a crazy part of the story like one of the crazy parts of the story.
30:32.031 --> 30:43.664
[SPEAKER_00]: I have, um, I work with a lot of spiritual women that have, you know, psychic gifts and this and that and I had this woman that came on retreat with me and she messaged me while I was home in Florida.
30:43.724 --> 30:46.087
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is about seven days before I'm going to the retreat.
30:46.647 --> 31:07.775
[SPEAKER_00]: and she messaged me on Instagram and this is a client that I stay very closely in touch with but like we don't talk every day or anything so um she messages me on Instagram and she's like Kristen um this is really really weird and by the way this this woman came on retreat with me and we worked a lot on like her her gifts opened up a lot during this retreat so I knew she had gifts she actually has
31:08.355 --> 31:34.020
[SPEAKER_00]: the gift of like medium ship so she was like channeling her grandma in her in my retreat and like I knew she had this gift so anyway that's just very important to the story so she messages me and she's like Kristen this is so weird but I feel like I need to tell you and she goes is there's someone in your family named Tata and I said yeah that's my that's Tata is grandma and Arabic in my grandma was Arabic so we used to call her Tata and
31:34.380 --> 31:36.181
[SPEAKER_00]: and she's past, she's dead.
31:36.401 --> 31:39.664
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, yeah, that's my grandma on my mom's side, why?
31:39.904 --> 31:44.207
[SPEAKER_00]: And she goes, okay, this is so weird, but your grandma came to me in a dream.
31:44.347 --> 31:46.088
[SPEAKER_00]: And she told me to tell you a message.
31:46.388 --> 31:55.314
[SPEAKER_00]: And she goes, I wasn't gonna tell you it was a week ago, but I just feel like I need to tell you and I'm gonna tell you and you just do whatever you want with it.
31:55.434 --> 31:56.635
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, okay, tell me.
31:56.835 --> 32:02.559
[SPEAKER_00]: And she was like, your grandma came to me in
a dream and told me to tell you that your man is coming and he's very close.
32:02.739 --> 32:04.200
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, wow.
32:04.640 --> 32:08.843
[SPEAKER_00]: And now in my grandma was very psychic, by the way, so she was very psychic.
32:09.183 --> 32:23.513
[SPEAKER_00]: She used to do like tea readings and like, I don't know if you guys know what that is but like in Israel, people would go have like tea with like this these psychics and then you read the leaves of the tea and you like give them predictions on their life or whatever they want to know.
32:23.734 --> 32:27.376
[SPEAKER_00]: So my grandma was very like tapped in, very psychic, very close to God, all the things.
32:27.456 --> 32:28.437
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, I'm like...
32:28.737 --> 32:44.270
[SPEAKER_00]: the fuck okay whatever you know I'm just like you know like I'm not getting my hopes up because I felt like I had been getting my hopes up for three years straight and I was just like in full surrender truly I was in full surrender
32:44.450 --> 32:45.031
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like whatever.
32:45.271 --> 32:59.468
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, I go to this retreat and you know, I just like I was like ready to like mingle if that if that's you know how to say it like I don't know how to say it, but like at these retreats, it is a lot of like minded people they're into this.
32:59.488 --> 33:02.510
[SPEAKER_00]: same thing, they're meditating, they're spending money on their personal growth.
33:02.550 --> 33:15.057
[SPEAKER_00]: So I actually think one of the best places to look for life partners is going to things like this because you already have so many Values in common, like you care about the same thing, you're spending money on the same thing.
33:15.177 --> 33:17.779
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you know, it's just like, it's, it's a values thing.
33:18.019 --> 33:26.284
[SPEAKER_00]: So I always kind of go into these things like, let me see who I mean, you know, because I've met some guys that were close to the thing before at these types of of retreats and stuff.
33:27.044 --> 33:47.554
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I see this guy from like the first day like literally the first day first night in the beginning of these retreats You like go and you like stand by the stage and everyone's kind of just like listening to music and clapping and like mingle and kind of and I was sitting down on a chair Very close to the stage, but I wasn't going up to like sing or dance or whatever not saying but like you know just stand up there
33:47.774 --> 34:01.746
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I see this guy like this like really tall blonde hair blue eye guy and to be honest I'm not really super into blondes but like I was like he's really cute I was like I think I like I just had this thing come over me where I was like I'll flirt with him Like go talk to him like just warm up.
34:01.786 --> 34:05.270
[SPEAKER_00]: You know that was literally my mindset was like go have a warm up Like go talk to this guy
34:06.090 --> 34:20.058
[SPEAKER_00]: And I go talk to him and I'm standing, you know, we're looking at the screen and like there's like stuff up on the screen and we're just like, you know, you're clapping and I'm standing next to him and in San Francisco I actually had gotten really good at talking to people as well.
34:20.078 --> 34:29.383
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I had gotten really good at networking and just like starting conversations with people because you do a lot of that in San Francisco and so I look at him and he's wearing crocs and I said I like your crocs.
34:30.303 --> 34:35.966
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was like, you know, he said, like, I just can't help but think that that's a sarcastic comment.
34:36.086 --> 34:40.689
[SPEAKER_00]: And then, you know, we just started having banter from there talking, he had an Australian accent.
34:40.709 --> 34:44.791
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm like, oh, he's Aussie, you know, I'm like saying like, oh, he from Australia, but a little blah.
34:45.011 --> 34:48.673
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was cute, but in my mind, you know, I think you always kind of do this when you're single.
34:48.693 --> 34:50.874
[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, oh, Australia, like, you know, whatever.
34:51.034 --> 34:54.816
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have a really good, yeah, like, far really far.
34:55.256 --> 34:56.376
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like, no.
34:56.456 --> 34:58.457
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have a really good conversation.
34:58.477 --> 35:00.377
[SPEAKER_00]: We're sending up there for 10 minutes talking.
35:00.557 --> 35:08.059
[SPEAKER_00]: And by the end of the conversation, the only thing that I could think was like, I remember walking away from that conversation saying, damn, I could talk to that guy all day.
35:08.239 --> 35:10.260
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we just had such good chemistry.
35:10.840 --> 35:14.080
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't like anything crazy, but like we had such good chemistry.
35:14.100 --> 35:16.461
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, dang, like, I could just chat with that guy all day.
35:16.641 --> 35:18.061
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, I go back to my seat.
35:18.101 --> 35:19.782
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, well, I hope to see you around.
35:19.822 --> 35:21.462
[SPEAKER_00]: I go, see ya, and like, that was it.
35:21.642 --> 35:23.183
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, I was like, you know, bye-bye.
35:25.263 --> 35:28.985
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, the retreat goes on and to be honest, there's so many people there.
35:29.025 --> 35:32.727
[SPEAKER_00]: My attention is here there and everywhere, it's definitely not like on him or anything.
35:33.047 --> 35:35.549
[SPEAKER_00]: And I run into him about this attend day retreat.
35:35.569 --> 35:41.152
[SPEAKER_00]: So I run into him probably around like day five, day six for this first time since I've seen him in the beginning.
35:41.412 --> 35:44.794
[SPEAKER_00]: And he asks me to lunch and he's like, in that's very normal at these things.
35:44.814 --> 35:47.375
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you have
lunch with strangers because you're a whole bunch of strangers.
35:47.615 --> 35:49.556
[SPEAKER_00]: So like you have lunch with different people every day.
35:49.576 --> 36:05.743
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'm like, yeah, let's grab lunch like totally and so we go to lunch that that next day maybe or maybe that day I can't remember one of the days the day or over the next day we go to lunch and we're just chatting and we have like a really we had a really good lunch Like nothing crazy to be honest like we had a really good lunch.
36:05.863 --> 36:13.747
[SPEAKER_00]: We talked a lot looking back He says that I was a little bit in my masculine because I didn't think of it as like I didn't think that he actually was into me to be honest like I did not
36:13.787 --> 36:14.888
[SPEAKER_00]: think that this was a thing.
36:14.948 --> 36:19.952
[SPEAKER_00]: I literally was like, we're hanging out and I would see him a lot with people and he was always with girls.
36:20.032 --> 36:33.604
[SPEAKER_00]: So like I'm just thinking like, you know, he's also just like this, in my opinion, very attractive, you know, six foot two blue eyed Australian man in American, more American setting like all the girls are just like, you know, oh, it's all weird.
36:37.767 --> 36:42.008
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so it's in Mexico, but anyway, so like I've seen them with a lot of girls the whole week.
36:42.068 --> 36:45.869
[SPEAKER_00]: So to be honest, in my head, I'm like, sky's just an Australian fuck boy.
36:46.009 --> 36:47.609
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's what I actually thought.
36:47.729 --> 36:49.830
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that was my genuine thoughts about it.
36:50.030 --> 36:52.910
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, we have this lunch and it was great.
36:53.030 --> 36:55.131
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we're hanging out now and like bowl of blood.
36:55.271 --> 36:58.391
[SPEAKER_00]: So we go our separate ways and that becomes that.
36:58.491 --> 37:01.352
[SPEAKER_00]: And then on day, on day seven, right?
37:01.372 --> 37:05.973
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's a 10 day retreat on day seven, we run into each other like four times that day.
37:06.193 --> 37:09.314
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we, I'm sitting here, he's come sits next to me.
37:09.374 --> 37:10.935
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm walking, oh, he's right there.
37:10.975 --> 37:11.715
[SPEAKER_00]: We start walking.
37:11.855 --> 37:16.296
[SPEAKER_00]: And then he invites me to have dinner with him and his friends that night, which were actually other Aussies.
37:16.416 --> 37:19.137
[SPEAKER_00]: I then found out to know like some other Australians he met.
37:19.257 --> 37:20.137
[SPEAKER_00]: And we all had dinner.
37:20.157 --> 37:21.758
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like some girls, some guys, whatever.
37:21.958 --> 37:29.825
[SPEAKER_00]: So we go have in dinner and at this point I'm definitely feeling like, I'm like, okay, there's like, there's definitely a vibe here, you know?
37:29.905 --> 37:34.589
[SPEAKER_00]: But I, I'm kind of feeling like it was like on, he wasn't very forward.
37:34.809 --> 37:37.992
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, I was kind of like, you know, definitely a vibe here.
37:38.212 --> 37:43.877
[SPEAKER_00]: And keep in mind though, I still know I'm looking for the real thing, but I'm like, kind of just staying open.
37:43.897 --> 37:48.141
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not like super rigid that I'm like, I'm can't even flirt or, you know, like, I couldn't ride anyone.
37:48.161 --> 37:48.942
[SPEAKER_00]: It was more just like,
37:49.302 --> 37:50.222
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what I'm looking for.
37:50.262 --> 37:51.283
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to fuck around.
37:51.323 --> 37:52.143
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm probably not going to sleep.
37:52.183 --> 37:54.244
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm definitely not going to sleep with anyone.
37:54.644 --> 37:58.125
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm probably not even going to like kiss anyone that I don't think is like really my person, you know?
37:58.265 --> 38:00.946
[SPEAKER_00]: That's, that was my mindset just so people know where I was at.
38:01.166 --> 38:03.847
[SPEAKER_00]: And we get dinner and I'm thinking like, oh, great.
38:03.907 --> 38:07.208
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I feel like this guy's going to like make a move and we'll, you know, we'll see.
38:07.648 --> 38:12.210
[SPEAKER_00]: And he ends up actually having to go back to his room because he had a call Australia time that night.
38:12.270 --> 38:13.330
[SPEAKER_00]: We never really got to
38:13.830 --> 38:14.711
[SPEAKER_00]: finish that dinner.
38:14.851 --> 38:16.872
[SPEAKER_00]: But then the next day we ended up sitting together.
38:16.892 --> 38:18.153
[SPEAKER_00]: We had plans to sit together.
38:18.273 --> 38:25.738
[SPEAKER_00]: So we sat together in the ballroom and it's kind of like you sit together then you guys meditate and like you're kind of talking the person next to you a lot.
38:25.758 --> 38:28.640
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like definitely very an intimate ish thing.
38:28.860 --> 38:36.786
[SPEAKER_00]: So we sit together and we have this meditation and like Joe dispensative meditations are very long, very like high energy, open-hearted meditation.
38:36.846 --> 38:36.946
[SPEAKER_00]: So
38:37.386 --> 38:46.252
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like the end of the street at this point, and it's day eight, and we sit together, we meditate, and we're laying down next to each other.
38:46.292 --> 38:50.414
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a ballroom, guys, by the way, for anyone who doesn't know, this is not like a 10-person meditation retreat.
38:50.434 --> 38:53.056
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a two-hour fusion meditation retreat.
38:53.116 --> 38:55.978
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is like a huge ballroom, just so people know.
38:56.178 --> 38:58.660
[SPEAKER_00]: You lay down on the floor at the end of the meditation.
38:58.760 --> 39:06.585
[SPEAKER_00]: So we do the meditation, we open our eyes, and we're like kind of facing each other, because he laid this way, I laid that way, just by chance.
39:06.725 --> 39:11.267
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're facing each other and we just like open our eyes and like I smile at him and he smiles at me.
39:11.427 --> 39:13.348
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I don't think that this dude isn't to me.
39:13.929 --> 39:17.931
[SPEAKER_00]: But he, like, I'm like, I definitely feel something, but I don't think that he's into me.
39:17.951 --> 39:19.531
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm just like, whatever.
39:19.712 --> 39:21.372
[SPEAKER_00]: He comes up and hugs me.
39:21.432 --> 39:27.195
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're hugging, which is a very normal thing because you're just like, you had the best meditation your heart so open, you're like, oh, and he hugs me.
39:27.275 --> 39:29.677
[SPEAKER_00]: And then all of a sudden, he like looks at me.
39:29.737 --> 39:31.257
[SPEAKER_00]: Like he kind of like takes away from the hug.
39:31.277 --> 39:34.479
[SPEAKER_00]: He like looks at me and he kisses me on the cheek.
39:34.619 --> 39:36.380
[SPEAKER_00]: And then he just like plants one on me.
39:36.580 --> 40:04.198
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, this is me, yeah, like in the middle of the ball in the middle of the ball room and again I'm trying to like I'm like kind of like caught off guard But I was kind of like kind of into it and no one's paying attention everyone's in their own like little you know talking the people around you So it's not that weird, but he just plants went on me like he's just like I use his kiss like what tongue or like a like a peck I need to think it I'm pretty sure it was with like he was it it was a peck, but it was like it turned into like
40:04.558 --> 40:06.683
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, it's like, it's like, it's a kiss.
40:06.923 --> 40:08.967
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, like a mini makeup.
40:09.268 --> 40:10.611
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, a mini makeup.
40:10.671 --> 40:12.054
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's a, it's a, it's a, okay.
40:14.721 --> 40:17.783
[SPEAKER_02]: So, okay, I'm just like, envisioning this ballroom.
40:17.843 --> 40:18.044
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
40:18.064 --> 40:21.906
[SPEAKER_02]: Everyone's like, everyone's looking at you or like other people will also make you go.
40:22.247 --> 40:22.427
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
40:23.007 --> 40:24.288
[SPEAKER_00]: No, nobody's making out.
40:24.388 --> 40:28.191
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, not other people aren't making out, but it's a lot, some people come with your partner.
40:28.231 --> 40:33.175
[SPEAKER_00]: So everyone's like in intimate hugs and like, you know, people are like chatting to each other.
40:33.195 --> 40:34.496
[SPEAKER_00]: And everyone's laying on the ground.
40:34.516 --> 40:36.737
[SPEAKER_00]: So everyone's on the ground, like chatting.
40:36.797 --> 40:37.418
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
40:37.458 --> 40:39.519
[SPEAKER_00]: Like us doing our little thing in this corner.
40:39.840 --> 40:41.901
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, we're in a row of 100 people.
40:42.061 --> 40:44.123
[SPEAKER_00]: So like nobody's really paying attention to you.
40:44.603 --> 40:46.164
[SPEAKER_00]: like, yeah, so it's not that weird.
40:46.344 --> 41:10.353
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we're just talking after and I was really caught off guard and I go and he I think he said something like was that okay like how did that feel for you like he said something to that effect and to be honest I was like I was like listen I'm into it like obviously there's a vibe here and that felt really good and I'm looking for my husband so like I can't really right yeah.
41:10.813 --> 41:21.915
[SPEAKER_00]: because we weren't thinking about it as like a serious prospect because he's like, oh no, and I was like, and I was like, I can't let this go any further because like, what's next?
41:21.955 --> 41:23.456
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we like together tonight?
41:23.476 --> 41:29.197
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's like, that was my mindset as like, I want to be really what I call vibrationally decisive.
41:29.337 --> 41:30.657
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to tell the universe.
41:30.777 --> 41:32.758
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm only looking for the thing that I want.
41:33.098 --> 41:38.259
[SPEAKER_00]: And he says to me in that moment and he goes, well, that's perfect because I'm actually looking for my wife too.
41:39.459 --> 41:40.079
[SPEAKER_01]: That's good.
41:40.140 --> 41:43.001
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's hold that thought because we have a quick message from our sponsors.
41:43.361 --> 41:45.602
[SPEAKER_02]: I take it But this is your current boyfriend.
41:45.822 --> 41:49.984
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a better fucking be you're like this guy guys This is a long story.
41:50.004 --> 41:58.608
[SPEAKER_01]: This is like the one and she's like the guy before the guy before the guy She's like knows like my guy's behind him after we kiss like kissed his other guy
41:59.508 --> 42:02.891
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was, and then he introduces me to his brother, I was just kidding.
42:02.911 --> 42:27.852
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just kidding, I was just
42:27.892 --> 42:33.337
[SPEAKER_02]: But they made it work and now they are married and have two kids, yeah, it works somehow.
42:33.377 --> 42:36.700
[SPEAKER_02]: But I was I admit I was skeptical because of kind of what you were saying.
42:36.780 --> 42:41.164
[SPEAKER_02]: It's
like, how do you logistically make something like this into more?
42:41.304 --> 42:44.447
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean definitely it's, it's a fair question.
42:44.947 --> 42:49.792
[SPEAKER_00]: And to be honest, when we got lunch, she told me that in two months, he was moving to Bali.
42:50.012 --> 42:54.897
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's also why I'm definitely putting this guy out.
42:54.977 --> 42:57.599
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, you are Australian moving to Bali.
42:57.759 --> 42:58.840
[SPEAKER_00]: See ya, you know what I mean?
42:58.880 --> 43:00.742
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you have your own life going on.
43:00.782 --> 43:03.445
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I never thought of him as a prospect to be honest.
43:03.465 --> 43:05.807
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that was why I never thought of him as a prospect.
43:06.027 --> 43:11.371
[SPEAKER_00]: But then, you know, as we, so after we kissed, like we talked obviously a lot more.
43:11.431 --> 43:17.235
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that night, I, I, I like stayed with him and we spent the next literally from that moment.
43:17.316 --> 43:19.617
[SPEAKER_00]: Like he acted like I was his girlfriend.
43:19.637 --> 43:21.158
[SPEAKER_00]: Like he held my hand in public.
43:21.198 --> 43:29.465
[SPEAKER_00]: He like was like, you know, every meal he wanted to eat with me, like he, he really courted me in the only way he could in this like little meditation retreat.
43:30.325 --> 43:56.159
[SPEAKER_00]: He actually ended up extending my flight one day so we could just have one more data to get to know each other So he Basically we just talked a lot and the more we got to know each other like we've realized like we are so Similar in so many of our like the ways that we're living and to be honest how it unfolded was like We were just really feeling each other and we were just like this is such a crazy connection that we're feeling now We have to like let ourselves explore
43:56.259 --> 44:13.507
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and like I told you guys I was going to prove to host my retreat But I was only just gonna go back to San Diego and figure my apartment out after that So I had no plans after that So he was like so you're done traveling in January and he is like I'm moving to Bali in January He's like okay February meet me in Bali.
44:13.847 --> 44:20.710
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, let's see He's like why not you have nowhere else to go like you're just gonna go home You don't even want to live in San Diego like come to Bali.
44:20.870 --> 44:23.031
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like why not you know and I'm sitting there like
44:23.451 --> 44:23.971
[SPEAKER_00]: Why not?
44:24.032 --> 44:25.353
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the sky's outside.
44:25.393 --> 44:25.953
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
44:25.993 --> 44:26.734
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, sure.
44:26.794 --> 44:29.175
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like, of course, like, why not?
44:29.395 --> 44:32.618
[SPEAKER_00]: But the hard part is, is that we spent three days together.
44:32.678 --> 44:35.180
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm essentially moving to Bali with this guy.
44:35.300 --> 44:36.060
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
44:36.080 --> 44:38.322
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we had no dating period.
44:38.502 --> 44:43.706
[SPEAKER_00]: And so what happened is, you know, it really kind of has been in it's own way.
44:43.746 --> 44:47.609
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been, you know, it's, um, this was obviously I, this was in November.
44:47.729 --> 44:49.150
[SPEAKER_00]: So right now it's August.
44:49.310 --> 44:51.332
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's almost September almost a year later.
44:51.792 --> 44:58.573
[SPEAKER_00]: And in a way, it was kind of a fairy tale, like we did three months of long distance, which was very weird because we knew each other for three days.
44:58.593 --> 45:02.914
[SPEAKER_00]: And we did three months of long distance, like I went to home back to Florida.
45:02.994 --> 45:04.915
[SPEAKER_00]: We did the holidays at home with our families.
45:05.455 --> 45:06.375
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to Peru.
45:06.975 --> 45:11.376
[SPEAKER_00]: I lived in Peru for about almost, you know, a month and a half, almost two months.
45:11.576 --> 45:14.537
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I went back to Florida and I got ready to come to Bali.
45:14.997 --> 45:19.378
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we met in Bali and it felt like a whole, like I felt like our relationship
45:22.058 --> 45:26.321
[SPEAKER_00]: because we knew each other, but we didn't really know each other.
45:26.421 --> 45:33.365
[SPEAKER_00]: But it was so different because to be honest, like, about two people having, he was actually single for 20 years.
45:33.545 --> 45:34.285
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
45:34.305 --> 45:35.686
[SPEAKER_00]: So he was ready.
45:35.766 --> 45:36.827
[SPEAKER_00]: So this was also part of,
45:37.227 --> 45:45.331
[SPEAKER_00]: me unpacking his like me undoing my he's a fuck boyness is he's telling me he's like Chris and I've been single for 20 years.
45:45.431 --> 45:46.652
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm waiting for my wife, too.
45:46.712 --> 45:48.533
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm not gonna get in any relationship.
45:48.553 --> 45:50.334
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like I want the highest relationship.
45:50.354 --> 45:51.414
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like I'm not settling.
45:51.674 --> 45:52.555
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what I want.
45:52.655 --> 45:53.875
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what I want and my woman.
45:53.895 --> 45:55.156
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what I want in a relationship.
45:55.616 --> 45:56.737
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what I want in a family.
45:56.797 --> 45:58.798
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like telling me all these things and I'm like
45:59.078 --> 46:01.659
[SPEAKER_00]: Is this guy just shit, like this guy is too good to be true?
46:01.679 --> 46:04.441
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, how am I getting this guy that's been single for 20 years?
46:04.521 --> 46:09.303
[SPEAKER_00]: He had his awakening 10 years ago and he had just been working on himself and he was like, I wasn't ready.
46:09.523 --> 46:11.905
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, I was dealing with a
lot of my stuff.
46:11.985 --> 46:21.970
[SPEAKER_00]: So through all these conversations, I obviously was like, wow, like, this guy really is maybe what I'm looking for and on my list, I literally had, I want a guy that does Joe dispense at work.
46:22.050 --> 46:23.350
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I just really believe in it.
46:23.370 --> 46:23.971
[SPEAKER_00]: There you go.
46:24.091 --> 46:28.373
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, like, it was just like two, it was too synchronicistic at this point.
46:28.493 --> 46:33.462
[SPEAKER_00]: So I went to Bali and yeah, we just for like the next five months.
46:33.542 --> 46:35.987
[SPEAKER_00]: We traveled, we got to know each other.
46:36.007 --> 46:38.091
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you live together right away?
46:38.111 --> 46:38.191
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
46:39.565 --> 46:58.287
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh wow, this is so this is really similar to my friend because they met they didn't long distance for a little and then they basically decided to meet in Mexico and live together and they got to dive into it and again like all her friends back here were like are you crazy you're like they're banditing your life like all that
46:58.908 --> 47:08.963
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess though like looking back for her at least and it sounds like you're also on this path like it's it worked out and like her take was like look if I go to Mexico And it does it work out.
47:09.083 --> 47:10.506
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll just come back come back.
47:10.526 --> 47:13.691
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I really have to lose like a month of my life and
47:14.171 --> 47:20.273
[SPEAKER_02]: I hear some people being like, well, I have my job, I have family commitments, like I have other things keeping me there.
47:20.893 --> 47:28.556
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess like what has been kind of your take or like I guess I don't know if advice is the right work is everyone's so different.
47:29.016 --> 47:34.398
[SPEAKER_02]: But like how do you kind of like stay open to this like possibility, but then also maybe
47:35.738 --> 47:41.279
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if realistic isn't even the right word because I think realistic you'd say like it won't work and it could.
47:41.359 --> 47:43.680
[SPEAKER_00]: Well the truth is is that I don't know if it's going to work.
47:43.780 --> 48:01.243
[SPEAKER_00]: You know like if the truth that's the genuine truth and that's something that I've actually had to come to terms with and do a lot of healing on myself because that's a little bit in my opinion like anxious attachment stuff of like oh I need to know that it's going to work I need to have the certainty it's going to work and the truth is is that life isn't certain.
48:01.503 --> 48:07.528
[SPEAKER_00]: and we never know if something is going to work, and it's nothing is, nothing is like promised in this life.
48:07.648 --> 48:12.212
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that's where I had so much of the work that I did when I was single.
48:12.312 --> 48:22.620
[SPEAKER_00]: I think being single is like some of the most amazing time to do the best work on yourself and like really becomes secure in yourself and really be like, I'm going to be okay no matter what.
48:22.640 --> 48:23.201
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
48:23.261 --> 48:28.345
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like I did a lot of that work then that I still have to remind myself, I'm good with her without him.
48:28.765 --> 48:30.627
[SPEAKER_00]: I am I love our life together.
48:30.647 --> 48:32.068
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm obsessed with him.
48:32.228 --> 48:39.394
[SPEAKER_00]: I think he's the most amazing man in the world and he is truly everything that I want and if not him someone better truly.
48:39.414 --> 48:41.455
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
48:41.896 --> 48:51.303
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're getting an experience regardless and building a relationship and your relational skills and all that like it's never time wasted whatever happens.
48:51.383 --> 49:00.446
[SPEAKER_00]: It's never time we said the soul is here to grow and learn and evolve and we learn and evolve through experience and this is an experience and to be honest, I'll keep it real.
49:00.546 --> 49:08.448
[SPEAKER_00]: It sounds like a fairy tale and it was and it continues to be and we had massive growing pains in the beginning.
49:08.508 --> 49:13.790
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what I was saying before, it's like two people that are super single now are living together.
49:13.950 --> 49:14.230
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
49:14.410 --> 49:18.411
[SPEAKER_00]: All of our shit is coming to the surface, all of our attachment wounds, all of our things.
49:20.672 --> 49:31.721
[SPEAKER_00]: solid four months of like really difficult conversations of like and you know like where it's a whole new level of it because usually when you have a Have a thing with your partner.
49:31.761 --> 49:33.202
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like you call your mom.
49:33.222 --> 49:34.143
[SPEAKER_00]: You call your sister.
49:34.223 --> 49:34.924
[SPEAKER_00]: You call your friend.
49:35.424 --> 49:37.406
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like we're both in this country.
49:37.646 --> 49:38.547
[SPEAKER_00]: Basically alone
49:39.067 --> 49:58.105
[SPEAKER_00]: yeah and we're in some random Airbnb and it's like we get in a in a thing and we're staring at each other from across the couch and it's like well we lost us we lost each other and we better find each other again because it's me and you and it's I can't even call my friends and family back home and so it's like it's me and you and we got to figure this out now you know what I mean
49:58.665 --> 50:00.385
[SPEAKER_00]: like where all each other has right now.
50:00.465 --> 50:02.366
[SPEAKER_00]: So, so what are we going to do about it?
50:02.546 --> 50:06.887
[SPEAKER_00]: And it really took us so much overcoming and we still talk about it.
50:06.947 --> 50:24.550
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like the true real, I think, like the gifts of love and relationships is it requires so much ego shedding of like, yeah, why do I
feel like I have to be right and why do I feel like, you know, it's like so much ego shedding to find each other again and to like, pull down your walls when you want to,
50:26.470 --> 50:33.074
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the work of love is when you want to go away you go towards and that's really hard when you're fucking triggered in the moment.
50:33.194 --> 50:33.674
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
50:34.234 --> 50:39.777
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like it's almost better that you too pick to place as a neutral place.
50:39.897 --> 50:40.117
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
50:40.137 --> 50:49.942
[SPEAKER_01]: Like our friend too, Julie, I think it's better that you don't have the support system so that you are almost like it's an incubator for your relationship.
50:50.042 --> 50:54.045
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you got to make the ship work between the two of you before you introduce all the
50:54.905 --> 51:21.363
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean that's the other thing I was thinking with my friend at least they had added immigration challenges as well so they basically had a decide pretty soon that they were going to pursue a fiance visa because that stuff can take like one to two years and I mean her take was like look we'll move forward if like for some reason the relationship doesn't work that we still do at that point like two years in like we're we're not going to want to start the process
51:22.664 --> 51:33.606
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think there is something really nice, though, and beautiful about their story, that they like, kind of had to just like, they like, not even had to, but like, they were committed to making it work.
51:34.046 --> 51:40.668
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, of course, like if it did it for some reason, they could get out, but their goal was to make it work and to move forward.
51:40.728 --> 51:43.188
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that sounds similar to you.
51:43.288 --> 51:51.950
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, we're here, we're in it together, we're living together, we're not like doing the bullshit of like dating once a week and seeing who else is out there
51:52.690 --> 51:54.731
[SPEAKER_02]: all the sheath that comes with modern data.
51:54.831 --> 51:55.251
[SPEAKER_00]: Totally.
51:55.811 --> 51:56.212
[SPEAKER_00]: Totally.
51:56.652 --> 52:08.277
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's kind of like we we both kind of came in and knew like even when I was on the plane ride over, I'm like, I mean, they're going to probably come back on a plane with him or I'm going to be coming back alone and I'm going to be a little hardbroken.
52:08.437 --> 52:11.720
[SPEAKER_00]: And I had to be okay with that, you know, and I still have to be okay with that.
52:11.840 --> 52:20.728
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, it's like no matter what, we knew like it's either gonna be the best thing that's ever happened to us, and it's gonna work, or it's not, and it's gonna be hard, and we'll go our separate ways.
52:20.808 --> 52:25.353
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and I think that's okay too, because I think that without that,
you're just co-dependent.
52:25.373 --> 52:25.573
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
52:25.833 --> 52:31.758
[SPEAKER_00]: It's definitely been a journey, but in a way, I think it's even better than for me.
52:31.798 --> 52:35.882
[SPEAKER_00]: It was even better than modern dating of like, all right, like, one of my gonna see you again in this.
52:35.962 --> 52:37.563
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, right, that's my style.
52:37.583 --> 52:40.386
[SPEAKER_00]: I just ran into the fire and we'll see what happens, you know?
52:40.446 --> 52:41.887
[SPEAKER_02]: But you're taking the leap.
52:42.087 --> 52:47.372
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's what's missing in dating right now is people just like putting it out there.
52:47.712 --> 52:50.374
[SPEAKER_02]: And I love like so much of your story.
52:50.395 --> 52:53.257
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess that's like a good segue to takeaways, but like, yeah.
52:53.457 --> 53:18.232
[SPEAKER_02]: So much of your story is just like I'm just gonna do the thing and if it doesn't work out Then I'll just I can always go back to the thing like it's not like forever and I think sometimes we get in our heads like thinking like Oh, this is gonna you know, even if I like approach this person and say like nice hugs like if they don't ignore me or that Crocs nice crocs or hugs whatever your style is like if you're like
53:19.452 --> 53:45.154
[SPEAKER_02]: I say this to them and they're gonna laugh at me and it's like it's not that deep sometimes like you're just doing the thing and if it doesn't go the way you want then you move on but you did it and I think that's so important and I think that's like a little example and clearly like the big example is like I'm going to Bali and I'm just gonna dive all in and yeah like I think you obviously are afforded a lifestyle that your entrepreneur you can work remotely
53:45.614 --> 53:54.337
[SPEAKER_02]: in my friend was similar like she could work remotely at the time and it's like, you know, I think sometimes we think though that we are tied to a place maybe more than we are.
53:54.898 --> 54:06.522
[SPEAKER_02]: And of course, like everyone's situation is different, but you know, in today's world, like there are remote options and like maybe again, like it's a may sound crazy to be like, I'm gonna move for
54:07.022 --> 54:21.423
[SPEAKER_02]: a guy or a girl or whoever but at the end of the day if like love is a priority to you and it's an experience and the worst thing that comes from it is that your heart broken and you go back like maybe it's not as big a risk as it feels.
54:21.884 --> 54:29.747
[SPEAKER_00]: I would actually urge people to be like, okay, maybe you can't take the risk like me, but like, can you take a risk by spending money to go to a retreat?
54:29.867 --> 54:34.068
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you take a risk by doing something new, going to a new vacation, going to a new city?
54:34.108 --> 54:38.189
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I really feel, I work with people along on fulfillment in their sole purpose.
54:38.249 --> 54:45.632
[SPEAKER_00]: And the biggest thing that I think stops people, then actually I'll say the number one thing that I think stops people from living the life that they want is fear of rejection.
54:46.132 --> 54:51.893
[SPEAKER_00]: Fear of rejection with posting online, fear of rejection with going up to the person, fear of rejection with going for it.
54:52.053 --> 55:00.595
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that if we can overcome that and do the inner work to be so fearless that we know will be good no matter what you will be unstoppable.
55:00.615 --> 55:11.638
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll be unshakable and you will have a life of magic because the only thing that's stopping you from taking that next big leap, whether it's quitting the job or moving or going to the retreat or doing something crazy is fear.
55:12.538 --> 55:29.810
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you can really unpack that within yourself you will all I did guys every single step of the way the move to San Francisco I overcame fear putting myself out there in San Francisco it's not easy to go on dates in a new city like like think like I'm telling the story of it but think about it I have no friends in this new city
55:30.270 --> 55:34.032
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm getting ready alone in this apartment on a Friday night like I'm scared.
55:34.052 --> 55:39.594
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like who the fuck is this guy like it's not comfortable in the moment But it's a good story, but it's in the moment.
55:39.614 --> 55:43.716
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of discomfort to overcome But it's like I'm good either way.
55:43.736 --> 55:46.338
[SPEAKER_00]: No, doesn't matter if this guy is a fucking weirdo I'll come back tonight.
55:46.358 --> 55:47.058
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll have a good sleep
55:47.478 --> 56:05.428
[SPEAKER_00]: wake up tomorrow and like you know what I mean like that was my thought process as like I'm not doing anything else might as well you know like and I think that we have to have more of that lacks mindset and not think that everything is so freaking like serious and and um and permanent because even when I help people quit their jobs I'm like
56:05.948 --> 56:09.393
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, you know, if you're ready to quit, like what's the worst thing that happens?
56:09.593 --> 56:11.155
[SPEAKER_00]: You get the same job you're at now.
56:11.295 --> 56:12.877
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't really go a step back.
56:13.198 --> 56:15.441
[SPEAKER_00]: You only grow and evolve and go forward.
56:15.521 --> 56:20.968
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm always team, take the risks, live a bigger life, do the thing that scares you.
56:21.068 --> 56:28.193
[SPEAKER_01]: you have to do it with clarity and I think that's my biggest takeaway from your story is the vibrational clarity you talked about.
56:28.273 --> 56:42.063
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like that's a fuck yes because I think when you have what I call it too many taps open then you get lost in your browser and you don't know what the fuck you're
trying to find and I think we live in a society today where people have too many taps
56:42.183 --> 57:09.496
[SPEAKER_01]: They got this relationship going this ex this person they're talking to this maybe this this almost person I keep it all open because I think we feel safer that way like I think I have some options But what you did was like no close that fucking tab clean up your browsers So that you you actually have some clarity about what you're looking for what that feels like and when you do find it It's snacks you in the face.
57:09.676 --> 57:11.077
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't say no to it.
57:11.277 --> 57:11.917
[SPEAKER_01]: It is like right
57:12.137 --> 57:13.518
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, it's in your face.
57:13.598 --> 57:23.906
[SPEAKER_01]: But when you have all of that bullshit going around, then whatever, even the right thing that comes to you, you will not see it because you don't have the clarity to see it exactly.
57:24.206 --> 57:29.270
[SPEAKER_00]: And people only keep tabs open because they fear they fear that nothing better will come around.
57:29.830 --> 57:39.457
[SPEAKER_00]: And as, again, I really believe so much in doing the inner work while you're dating, like you have so many places where you're getting those reflections of like, well, I'm feeling unworthy, where I feel like no one will come.
57:39.637 --> 57:45.420
[SPEAKER_00]: All those little thoughts are opportunities for you to be doing work on yourself and not because you're not perfect as you are.
57:45.460 --> 57:47.282
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not the mindset you have to take it.
57:47.362 --> 57:52.725
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, okay, I'm seeing parts of me that don't feel good enough for what I want.
57:52.745 --> 57:56.968
[SPEAKER_00]: So let me reconcile with those parts of myself and give those parts of myself love.
57:57.168 --> 58:01.353
[SPEAKER_00]: so that I can be a more whole version of myself when I do meet my partner.
58:01.453 --> 58:07.861
[SPEAKER_00]: Because imagine if I met this guy and I'm like, it has to be you and it's like, that's so much pressure for him.
58:08.121 --> 58:10.724
[SPEAKER_00]: That would have definitely pushed him away.
58:10.824 --> 58:17.552
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's probably what happens with a lot of people is they put so much pressure on something that feels like maybe the one that it's like, they push it away.
58:17.732 --> 58:18.112
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
58:18.553 --> 58:32.403
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess like the question I have remaining for you is like, how did you get to the slides that this could be like an hour conversation, maybe the abbreviated version of this like, you know, and loved what you said of, what was it?
58:32.583 --> 58:32.623
[SPEAKER_02]: If
58:33.023 --> 58:48.191
[SPEAKER_02]: Not you, it's better if it's not you it's better like how do you get into that mode because I think what a lot of our audience struggles with is like maintaining hope, especially if you do have a lot of these people that you think is it and then they end up not being
58:48.751 --> 58:50.132
[SPEAKER_00]: How did I get into the mindset?
58:50.572 --> 59:07.300
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I really work a lot on my abundance mindset in all areas So I would say like that has been like a huge piece is like I really had to be like, okay If I believe that I can be in a bundan of in money and I can be a bundan in clients and all these other why don't I think that I could be in abundance of of options of dating?
59:07.720 --> 59:11.362
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, like, why don't I, like, that was kind of, like, the mindset I had about it?
59:11.502 --> 59:15.905
[SPEAKER_00]: And I, I have lost a lot of people in my life, like, I've lost a lot of friends.
59:16.025 --> 59:17.066
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think we all have, right?
59:17.106 --> 59:24.050
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we've just, like, gone through different phases of ourselves that we have to meet new versions of ourselves and we have new people in our life.
59:24.210 --> 59:31.395
[SPEAKER_00]: And something that I always noticed, I'm like, wow, every single time I lose someone, the next person that comes along is, is a more vibrational match to me.
59:31.435 --> 59:33.536
[SPEAKER_00]: They are better than the last thing that I lost.
59:33.676 --> 59:34.998
[SPEAKER_00]: And I looked for proof of that.
59:35.098 --> 59:38.081
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think you have to look for proof of that in your own life.
59:38.281 --> 59:41.285
[SPEAKER_00]: And you also like really, I think it's super important.
59:41.325 --> 59:49.214
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel maybe obligated to say this is like, you do have to take responsibility for your side of the street in dating and like do work on yourself.
59:49.274 --> 59:49.915
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I did a tough job.
59:50.615 --> 59:58.201
[SPEAKER_00]: I bought a ton of inner child work, a ton of father wound teeling, asking myself why am I attracting this emotionally unavailable person.
59:58.562 --> 01:00:05.046
[SPEAKER_00]: After I ended it with that San Francisco guy, you best better bet I was doing hypnosises around like my father wound.
01:00:05.067 --> 01:00:13.053
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was like, okay, clearly there's something still in me that is attracting a guy that's not fully in and then I realized, wow, my dad was never fully in.
01:00:13.093 --> 01:00:14.614
[SPEAKER_00]: My dad wasn't even emotionally available.
01:00:14.654 --> 01:00:16.095
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know what that feels like.
01:00:16.195 --> 01:00:30.488
[SPEAKER_00]: that I was reading more books, I was doing more meditations, I was listening more podcasts, like I was not chillin' behind the scenes, like, well, once the next one come in, like I was working on myself and really putting my best foot forward of like, you know what?
01:00:30.948 --> 01:00:34.712
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna choose me even more because I know that I wanna be chosen.
01:00:35.252 --> 01:00:39.136
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know that I want to be corded and I
know that I want all of these things.
01:00:39.176 --> 01:00:40.657
[SPEAKER_00]: So let me do that for myself.
01:00:40.677 --> 01:00:41.978
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me feel that in myself.
01:00:42.338 --> 01:00:45.061
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me train my body to feel what it feels like to be chosen.
01:00:45.521 --> 01:00:47.062
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you know, it's funny.
01:00:47.082 --> 01:00:48.964
[SPEAKER_00]: I look back now at San Francisco guy.
01:00:49.004 --> 01:00:52.707
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, that guy was a block away and couldn't even make time to see me.
01:00:52.907 --> 01:00:56.270
[SPEAKER_00]: I met the guy and I felt and I knew what I would feel like.
01:00:56.330 --> 01:00:59.773
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, I don't care if I'm in Australia and you're in Florida.
01:00:59.934 --> 01:01:00.334
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
01:01:01.575 --> 01:01:24.886
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, it's just a good example of like, yeah, it's all like the right person's going to make it work I think that's like the last takeaway to it's like yeah we always think of like why can't it work out like all the reasons and like I mentioned on my friend told me this I'm like oh it's like never going to work out but like what if it does work out I think it's like living proof that it can if two people are committed to making it or
01:01:25.566 --> 01:01:41.755
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like it works out until it doesn't and it doesn't work out until I mean it's like what is actually working out what is that actually mean if something works out right like if you're in it and you're committed and you're feeling it then that is it working out in itself.
01:01:41.835 --> 01:01:51.163
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think I also wanna, you know, maybe leave your audience with this mindset of like, I think that sometimes when we're dating, it can feel like I need to find the final person, I need to find the next person.
01:01:51.203 --> 01:01:56.427
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, my focus was always, I need to find the next reflection that's gonna help me grow to find the next one.
01:01:56.467 --> 01:01:58.609
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, if I need to find another one after that,
01:01:59.709 --> 01:02:18.985
[SPEAKER_00]: But like where is like I think that a successful relationship the Western world can think of a successful relationship as one that lasts forever But the truth is is that all relationships and in either death or some type of ending right and I think that we can start to re program our minds to look at There's a relationship a successful one is wow, I gave it my all and I grew a lot.
01:02:19.125 --> 01:02:25.130
[SPEAKER_00]: You know I get my my break up and I say I gave it my all and I grew a lot and that was successful for that Yeah, so yeah
01:02:25.490 --> 01:02:32.497
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we're screaming that is like opens up your mind to not be so like Has to be this thing.
01:02:32.557 --> 01:02:40.345
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like open yourself to the next true experience that feels an alignment to you and you're gonna just grow in a ball from there Yeah, but it's great place to end
01:02:40.565 --> 01:02:41.185
[SPEAKER_00]: Lovely.
01:02:41.806 --> 01:02:43.166
[SPEAKER_00]: People want to find out more about you.
01:02:43.206 --> 01:02:43.907
[SPEAKER_00]: Where can they go?
01:02:44.067 --> 01:02:44.487
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
01:02:44.607 --> 01:02:48.989
[SPEAKER_00]: They can go to my Instagram, which is Kristen dot such.
01:02:49.329 --> 01:03:01.914
[SPEAKER_00]: And I also have a podcast called At Alignment Academy Pod on Instagram or Alignment Academy the podcast, which I know you guys have been on and also my partner and I have actually done a like a storytelling.
01:03:02.114 --> 01:03:03.015
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can on the podcast.
01:03:03.575 --> 01:03:17.121
[SPEAKER_00]: the cast, so that might be good for people to hear his story because there was so much that I didn't tell of like we had very parallel timelines behind the scenes of like doing our healing work or going through a rock bottom to ultimately lead us to the place where we met.
01:03:17.181 --> 01:03:23.304
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, for anyone that needs a little hope, just know that go work on yourself and what you're looking for will find you.
01:03:23.424 --> 01:03:24.344
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, so good.
01:03:24.364 --> 01:03:26.025
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, thank you again, Kristen.
01:03:26.065 --> 01:03:27.706
[SPEAKER_02]: This is in such a pleasure.
01:03:27.726 --> 01:03:29.006
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me guys.
01:03:29.206 --> 01:03:29.526
[SPEAKER_00]: So good.
01:03:29.546 --> 01:03:31.267
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to wrap up this episode
01:03:33.089 --> 01:03:34.499
[SPEAKER_01]: See you in the morning
01:04:06.106 --> 01:04:06.207
[UNKNOWN]: You