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THE THINKING MACHINE by Jacques Foutrel It was absolutely impossible.
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TWENTY-FIVE CHESSMASTERS FROM THE WORLD AT LARGE four gathered in
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Boston for the annual championships, unanimously declared it impossible. And
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unanimity on any given point is an unusual mental condition
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for chess masters. Not one would concede for an instant
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that it was within the range of human achievement. Some
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grew red in the face as they argued it. Others
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smiled loftily and were silent. Still others dismissed the matter
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in a word. as wholly absurd. A casual remark by
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the distinguished scientist and logician, Professor Augustus S. F. X.
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Van Dusen, provoked the discussion. He had in the past
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aroused bitter disputes by some chance remark, in fact had
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been once a sort of controversial center of the sciences.
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It had been due to his modest announcement of a
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startling and unorthodox hypothesis that that he had been invited
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to vacate the chair of philosophy in a great university. Later,
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that university had felt honored when he accepted its degree
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of LLD. For a score of years, educational and scientific
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institutions of the world had amused themselves by crowding degrees
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upon him. He had initials that stood for things he
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couldn't pronounce. degrees from France, England, Russia, Germany, Italy, Sweden,
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and Spain. These were expressed recognition of the fact that
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his was the foremost brain in the sciences. The imprint
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of his crabbed personality lay heavily on half a dozen
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of its branches. Finally, there came a time when argument
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was respectfully silent in the face of one of his conclusions.
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The remark which had arrayed the chess masters of the
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world into so formidable and unanimous a dissent was made
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by Professor Van Dusen in the presence of three other
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gentlemen of note. One of these, Dr. Charles Elbert, happened
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to be a chess enthusiast. Chess is a shameless perversion
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of the functions of the brain, was Professor Van Dusen's
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declaration in his perpetually irritated voice. It is a sheer
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waste of effort. greater because it is possibly the most
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difficult of all fixed abstract problems. Of course logic will
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solve it. Logic will solve any problem. Not most of them,
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but any problem. A thorough understanding of its rules would
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enable anyone to defeat your greatest chess players. It would
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be inevitable, just as inevitable as the two and two
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make four, not sometimes, but all the time. I don't
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know chess because I never do useless things. But I
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could take a few hours of competent instruction and defeat
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a man who has devoted his life to it. His
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mind is cramped, bound down to the logic of chess.
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Mine is not. Mine employs logic in its widest scope. Dr.
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Albert shook his head vigorously. It is impossible, he asserted.
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Nothing is impossible, snapped the scientist. The human mind can
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do anything. It is all we have to lift us
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above the brute creation. For heaven's sake, leave us that.
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The aggressive tone, the uncompromising egotism, brought a flush to Dr.
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Albert's face. Professor Van Dusen affected many persons that way,
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particularly those fellow savants who themselves, men of distinction, had
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ideas of their own. Do you know the purposes of chess,
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its countless combinations? asked Dr. Albert. No, was the crabbed reply.
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I know nothing whatever of the game beyond the general
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purpose which I understand to be to move certain pieces
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in certain directions to stop an opponent from moving his king.
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Is that correct? Yes, said Dr. Albert slowly, but I
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never heard it stated just that way before. Then, if
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that is correct, I maintain that the true logician can
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defeat the chess expert by the pure mechanical rules of logic.
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I'll take a few hours sometime, acquaint myself with the
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moves of the pieces, and defeat you to convince you,
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Professor Van Dusen glared savagely into the eyes of Dr. Albert.
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Not me, said Dr. Albert. You say anyone. You, for
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instance,
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might defeat the greatest chess player. Would you be willing
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to meet the greatest chess player after you acquaint yourself
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with the game? Certainly, said the scientist. I have frequently
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found it necessary to make a fool of myself to
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convince people. I'll do it again. This, then, was the
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acrimonious beginning of the discussion, which aroused chess-masters and brought
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open dissent from eminent men who had not dared for
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years to dispute any assertion by the distinguished Professor Van Dusen.
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It was arranged that at the conclusion of the championships
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Professor Van Dusen should meet the winner. This happened to
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be Tchaikovsky, the Russian, who had been champion for half
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a dozen years. After this expected result of the tournament, Hillsbury,
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a noted American master, bit of morning with Professor Van
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Dusen in the latter's modest apartments on Beacon Hill. He
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left there with a sadly puzzled face. That afternoon Professor
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Van Dusen met the Russian champion. The newspapers had said
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a great deal about the affair, and hundreds were present
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to witness the game. There was a little murmur of
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astonishment when Professor Van Dusen appeared. He was slight, almost
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childlike in body, and his thin shoulders seemed to droop
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beneath the weight of his enormous head. He wore a
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number-eight hat. His brow rose straight and dome-like, and a
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heavy shock of long yellow hair gave him almost a
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grotesque appearance. The eyes were narrow slits of blue, squinting
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eternally through thick spectacles. The face was small, clean-shaven, drawn,
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and white with the pallor of a student. His lips
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made a perfectly straight line. His hands were remarkable for
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their whiteness, their flexibility, and for the length of the
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slender fingers. One glance showed that physical development had never
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entered into the schedule of the scientist's fifty years of life.
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The Russian smiled as he sat down at the chess table.
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He felt that he was humoring a crank. The other
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masters were grouped nearby, curiously expectant. Professor Van Dusen began
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the game, opening with a queen's gambit. At his fifth move,
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made without the slightest hesitation, the smile left the Russian's face.
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At the tenth, the masters grew intensely eager. The Russian
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champion was playing for honor now. Professor Van Dusen's fourteenth
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move was king's castle to queen's four. Check, he announced.
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After a long study of the board, the Russian protected
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his king with a knight. Professor Van Dusen noted the play,
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then leaned back in his chair with fingertips pressed together.
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His eyes left the board and dreamily studied the ceiling.
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For at least ten minutes there was no sound, no movement. Then, mate,
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in fifteen moves, he said quietly, There was a quick
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gasp of astonishment. It took the practiced eyes of the
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masters several minutes to verify the announcement. But the Russian
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champion saw and leaned back in his chair, a little
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white and dazed. He was not astonished. He was helplessly
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floundering in a maze of incomprehensible things. Suddenly he arose
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and grasped the slender hand of his conqueror. You have
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never played chess before? he asked. Never. Mon Dieu! You
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are not a man. You are a brain, a machine,
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a thinking machine. It's a child's game, said the scientist abruptly.
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There was no note of exultation in his voice. It
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was still the irritable, impersonal tone which was habitual. This
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then was Professor Augustus S. F. X. Van Dusen, Ph.D., L.L.D., F.R.S., M.D., etc., etc., etc.
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This is how he came to be known to the
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world at large as the Thinking Machine. The Russian's phrase
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had been applied to the scientist as a title by
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a newspaper reporter, Hutchison Hatch. It had stuck. End of
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The Thinking Machine