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Welcome to the Aid for Aid
Workers Leadership Podcast.
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I'm Torrey Peace, a former aid worker,
now leadership coach, whose mission is
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to help you achieve the impact you're
seeking while empowering your team and
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stepping away from the hustle so you can
focus on the things you love the most.
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Sound good?
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Let's get started.
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Hello, my aid worker friend.
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I hope you're having a wonderful week.
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I was thinking about last
week's episode and talking about
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how to make a greater impact.
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And one of the things that I mentioned
was once you have an idea of the
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impact that you want to create, then
how do you manage your time effectively
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so you can do that?
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And I see certain things that
Humanitarian and Development
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supervisors do, which actually prevents
you from being as effective with
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managing your time as you could be.
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And I'm pretty sure you probably
have not heard of the three things
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I'm going to be talking about today.
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I remember when I was in Timor and there
was a proposal opportunity that came
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up and I already had a lot going on
at the time I was the Country Manager
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and so I was kind of like a Head of
Programs and a Country Representative
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all in one, a shout out to those of
you doing that role, it's not easy.
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I remember.
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reviewing the proposal and there
was some pressure to apply for this
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particular proposal mainly because
it would bring in funding but also
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because of the visibility and so on.
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But I realized upon reviewing it that
it just wasn't a good fit for us.
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Like strategically, it didn't quite align
with our plan and it was going to require
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a lot of work and diverted resources.
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And I wasn't quite sure either
the probability that we had
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being very high to, to win it.
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So I pushed back and I remember having a
conversation in which I was very nervous,
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but I recommended to my supervisor to
not apply for the proposal and I gave him
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some of the reasons that I just stated.
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And I said the things that I felt I
needed to say and I did so not only
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to protect my own time and to make
sure that we were on track and we
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were following our strategic plan, but
also to protect the time of my team.
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And surprisingly, he came back
to me and he said, you know what,
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you're right, let's not go for it.
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And imagine if I had not pushed back
at that opportunity, I think they
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probably would have expected us to
go forward and put a lot of time
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and resources into applying for this
proposal that it was very likely
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that we weren't, going to win.
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And would have diverted a lot of
attention to the things that we
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were already implementing and the
impact that we were already making.
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And I bring up this example
because I think that sometimes
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we forget that we, as leaders or
supervisors, we are the gateway.
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Part of our role is to set these
types of boundaries, as I would call
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them, and really protect not only our
own time, but our team's time too.
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And that actually leads me to one of
the first ways that you can manage
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your time more effectively and
something that I think many leaders
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forget or don't think about, and that
is setting boundaries on your time
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and on your team's time by saying no.
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What happens when we are not more
strategic about what we say yes to,
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and we're not aware of our already
existing workload and whether we can
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or cannot take on more, what happens is
we eliminate or dissolve our boundary.
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So if we talk about boundaries,
what does that mean?
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Well, the idea behind a boundary is
that it's kind of like a fence, right?
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It's a protection allowing you to control
what comes near you and your space or
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your workload in this case versus what
you say no to, what you turn away.
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And some of you are just so
liberal with your boundaries that
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they don't even really exist.
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They're almost invisible.
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And so guess what happens?
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When we don't have that fence and
we're not reinforcing that fence, then
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others will take advantage of that.
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And they will see that we don't
have a fence and so, "Hey, I can
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just stop by whenever I want."
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And as nice as that sounds, it's actually
not being genuine to them or to you
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because you're essentially allowing
someone to take advantage of you.
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And you are also
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giving them the impression that you are
okay with them doing that and and so we
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need to teach others how to treat us.
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And we start by the
way we treat ourselves.
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And this is kind of an underlying
theme for today's episode because
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what happens is when we don't have
that boundary, when we allow people
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to give us more work and we don't say
"no" or we don't say we can't take on
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more work, we eliminate that boundary.
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We feel disempowered.
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We feel like we have no control.
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We feel demotivated and frustrated,
but we're doing it to ourselves.
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It's not our organization doing it to us.
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It's not our team or our
supervisor doing it to us.
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It's because we are doing it to ourselves.
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We are allowing it to happen.
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And so I want you to see this because you
have the ability to set that boundary.
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It's up to you whether you do work or not.
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And I know there's a lot more
sometimes to this and the reasons
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why we say yes and no, and I'll
get to that in a minute as well.
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But I think it's important
to first point out that,
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if we set a boundary around ourselves
and if we don't respect that, we're not,
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allowing others to respect us either.
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And sometimes we can forget
that and we blame others.
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But this is also part of what I call
"taking responsibility" the more we
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have responsibility over our own time
and what we say yes and no to, the
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more that we realize that by saying
no, by setting this boundary, we are
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teaching others how to respect us.
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You have to teach others how you
want to be treated and we have to
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realize that it comes down to first,
how we want to treat ourselves.
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If you want to treat yourself as someone
who is able to take on tons of work
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then guess what's going to happen?
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You will be overloaded and overworked.
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So I want you to think about and be
more strategic around saying yes to
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work that would not normally fall
on your plate, or even if it would
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normally fall on your plate or be
given to you and to really communicate
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when you feel like it's too much.
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We need more leaders doing this.
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When you do that you also
are setting an example.
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for your team.
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You're also allowing your team to
do the same- to say they need help,
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to say that "this is too much.
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I can't take on this extra work.
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We need to look for an alternative
or we need to reprioritize things."
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So that is the first thing is
being able to set a boundary and
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respecting our own boundaries.
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by saying no.
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And the word no, I think some
people are afraid of, but you
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don't have to say the word no.
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You can say not right now, or I need
to get back to you or let me think
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about it and come back to them.
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There are many ways of saying this
besides just "no", but think about
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in advance how you want to say
it, and then maybe even practice.
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But there's nothing wrong with saying no.
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And if anything, you're teaching your
team or your others to respect you more.
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And there's also nothing
wrong, of course, with
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asking for help if that's
what you need as well.
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Stranded
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vehicles, oh, no.
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Donor visits?
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Oh, man.
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And delayed procurement!
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That's www.
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bar at the top of the page.
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Now back to today's episode.
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We talked about not respecting
your boundaries or your
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ability to say no to others.
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But this also goes into not
respecting your own time.
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I'll give you an example.
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When I first started, doing
consultancies, I was asked to
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help a new organization to look
at their workload and why everyone
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was overwhelmed and overworked.
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And it was a humanitarian organization.
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They were doing great work.
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There were several reasons why everyone
was overworked and overwhelmed, but
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this was one of the biggest ones.
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And that was when people would schedule
time in their calendar to work on
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something, for example, they had
to work on research and Development
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or a report they had for a client,
when someone else asked them if
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they were busy during that time,
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they would say no.
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Even if they had scheduled time to work
on something, as long as that thing
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they were working on, it was just time
they were working by themselves, in
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other words, they weren't working with
anyone else, it was just by themselves.
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They would say they were not busy.
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I find this so interesting.
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Why we think that when we
schedule a meeting with ourselves.
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That if someone comes along and
asks us if we're busy during
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that time, we say we are not.
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When we are, we have
something on our calendar.
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And what happened in this case, they
would say, "Oh no, I'm not busy."
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And so they would schedule over the
time that they had set aside to work
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on this report or this research.
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And then guess what?
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They would have to work on those
things after hours, or they'd have
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to work on them
on the weekend or
they would have to work on them and
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squeeze them into various hours.
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And then that led to being
overworked and overwhelmed.
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Why?
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Because they weren't respecting their
own scheduled time with themselves.
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Now, I know sometimes you might have an
emergency meeting that's really important
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with the government or whoever, and
you do need to schedule over time that
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maybe you've scheduled for focused work.
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However, I think that should be
not the normal, but the exception.
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We should, whenever we have a meeting
or I hope that you put this time
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in your calendar to work on things
that require focused concentration,
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I hope that you have that in
your calendar during work hours.
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And then you need to treat that
time as if you are meeting with
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the CEO of your organization.
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So if someone comes along and they ask you
if you're busy, you say, "yes, I am busy."
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Because you are, you're
busy with yourself.
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You have a meeting with yourself
to do this really important work.
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And guess what?
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They will be fine with that.
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Because once again, if, if you
say, "Oh no, I'm not busy" then
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you're only disrespecting yourself.
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They're not disrespecting you, but we
get really frustrated and overwhelmed
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because then we feel like, Oh, I have
no time to do this all during the day.
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Now I have to do it at night or
whatever, but that's our own fault.
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So also taking responsibility when
it comes to meetings with ourselves
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and respecting our own time.
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And guess what?
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Also, If we do not respect ourselves
and our time, then we also know it.
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We know it, and we begin
to not trust ourselves.
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And so when we schedule our time on our
calendar, we schedule it out, but we have
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this feeling of anxiety or mistrust that
we're not going to follow through with
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the things we say because we haven't.
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Because in the past we scheduled
over this time, we've, we've not
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followed through for ourselves,
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and so we don't trust ourselves.
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We are disrespecting ourselves.
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And it all begins with how
you treat yourself, right?
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So first thing, setting boundaries
and being able to set that fence around
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you to what work you are willing and
able to take in and what you're not.
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And also setting boundaries in terms
of your own time and respecting your
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time that you've scheduled when you
have focused work with yourself.
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All right.
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The third thing to manage your
time more effectively that many
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leaders do not do has to do with
the way we're looking at our time.
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And there are many layers to this,
but in the interest of time, I'm
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going to just go through a few.
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The things that I've talked about
so far, setting boundaries with
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your time, and then also respecting
your meetings with yourself.
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If you feel uncomfortable and find
yourself resisting these kinds of
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suggestions that I'm making, it's because
you probably have this third challenge,
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which is your thinking or your mindset.
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So, in other words, you have a belief or
a way of thinking about your time that is
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preventing you from taking these actions.
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I'll give you an example.
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If you feel that you cannot say no
to others because you don't want to
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disappoint them or you think you won't
be seen as a team player, sometimes we
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see this as this is how it's going to be.
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If somebody asked me to do more
work and I say no, they're going
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to think I'm not a team player.
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but that is not a fact.
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That is a thought.
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That is a belief.
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If you believe that you won't be seen
as a team player if you say no, the
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crazy thing is that this can be so
powerful that it will prevent you
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from saying no or setting boundaries.
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And we think by doing this, that we're
actually being good team players.
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When oftentimes when we don't set
boundaries and we say yes to too much
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work, we're actually being
the opposite.
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We're not being a team player
at all because we are lying.
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We are lying and saying that we can
handle it, when we really cannot.
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And that does not serve us and
it does not serve our team.
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So this is one of the examples of the
type of thinking that I'm talking about,
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which I label under the umbrella of
High Performance Syndrome thoughts.
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Now, I think I talked about High
Performance Syndrome before, but once
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again, it's basically a well intentioned
way of thinking and leading, which
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we think will lead us to impact,
but actually does the opposite.
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And I see it all the time.
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We think, " I'm a high performer
if I'm a team player", but the way
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we're trying to be a team player is
actually creating the opposite result.
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We're burning out and getting overwhelmed.
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So these thoughts, they come from
a good place, but they actually
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create the opposite of what we want.
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So there are several High Performance
Syndrome thoughts that humanitarian
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and Development workers have, which
keep us overworked and overwhelmed.
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One of them, of course, is
the one that I just covered,
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"I need to be a team player".
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Another one is "I have to always be
available", which I've talked about
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in the previous episode on open door
policy.., "This needs to be perfect."
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Another one.
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And there are others as well.
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We think we're high performers and we're
doing better, but it's actually preventing
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us from being higher performers.
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And the more we are aware of these
things, and we identify these thoughts
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and we are able to coach ourselves or
others to overcome them, we can be
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more productive and create true impact.
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And this is exactly what we cover in "The
Coach Approach Leadership Style" course.
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We start with how do we identify the
high performance syndrome thoughts that
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we have that are preventing us from
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making the impact that we really want
from focusing our time on the things
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that will be most productive for us?
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What are the things that we believe,
for example, "I have to be a team
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player" or, " I don't have control
over my time" is another one.
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What are these things that
are keeping us from really
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being as productive as we can with
our teams and ourselves so that
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we can truly create an impact.
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So I really encourage you to reflect
on this and practice setting boundaries
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if that's what you need to do or
practice respecting your time and
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really becoming more aware of how the
way you're thinking about your time and
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your interactions and your work with
others might be preventing you from
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being as productive as you could be.
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All right, that's it for now.
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Until next week, keep
broadening your impact.
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Bye for now.
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Hey, if you are ready to step up your
leadership game, I want to invite
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00:22:08,209 --> 00:22:12,209
you to join my coaching course for
aid worker leaders, where you're
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00:22:12,209 --> 00:22:16,919
going to learn how to master coaching
skills in order to empower your team
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00:22:16,939 --> 00:22:22,429
to become more proactive, confident,
and motivated at what they do, which
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00:22:22,469 --> 00:22:26,829
of course will help you achieve
more impact for them and for you.
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00:22:27,384 --> 00:22:30,934
Just head over to www.
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00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:31,164
aidforaidworkers.
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00:22:31,194 --> 00:22:34,574
com and click on the
coaching course waiting list.
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00:22:35,004 --> 00:22:39,154
So you'll be the first to know when
doors open for the next enrollment.
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00:22:39,884 --> 00:22:41,434
Can't wait to see you there.