Embrace Your Creativity - Rachel Brownstein의 전체 녹취록

you know, maybe a little bit about the past, but also, you know, where are you going with this, uh, YouTube channel? 30 00:04:48.980 --> 00:05:02.200 What do you want to accomplish with this be- besides just, you know, getting people to understand you can create, um, very, uh, interesting things in a vegan, uh, within, within a vegan diet? Sure. 31 00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:16.440 And I guess all of my various, uh, experiences and avenues kind of all tie in quite well to that question. Mm. So I, mm, so it turns out I have a disability. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome- Mm... 32 00:05:16.460 --> 00:05:25.020 which is a connective tissue disorder. Um, and in me it manifests in, uh, pain in my joints, hypermo- I've got the hypermobile type. Mm. 33 00:05:25.060 --> 00:05:36.240 And I've always suffered with chronic pain, but I've been dismissed and ignored and, you know, "It, it'll go away, it's fine." Uh, and then I was working in the restaurant industry front of house, 34 00:05:37.260 --> 00:05:47.960 and just hating working for minimum wage, you know, doing kind of 11, 12-hour days, having four hours sleep, and then doing it again. Mm. So I was thinking, "Okay, how can I do... W- what can I do differently?" 35 00:05:48.140 --> 00:06:00.280 Because I don't have... You know, on paper I'm not super well-educated. I've only got kind of high school, uh, qualifications. So how can I earn lawyer amounts of money on GCSE- Mm... level ed- education? 36 00:06:00.880 --> 00:06:12.840 And my mind went straight to sex work as, as it does. [laughs] Um, but it was- [laughs]... I think it was about I clearly have something that men enjoy looking at, so let's, I, how can I monetize that? 37 00:06:14.080 --> 00:06:24.340 And sex work really gave me freedom and choice to, you know, if I felt, you know, if my back had seized up one day, it's like, "Okay, well, I'm not gonna work today 'cause I'm in too much pain." Mm. 38 00:06:24.380 --> 00:06:38.720 Whereas you can't really do that in a proper job, quote-unquote- Right... be- because of the problems it causes and the lack of empathy from management. Um, so yeah, I kind of just went h- all in. 39 00:06:38.880 --> 00:06:45.880 [laughs] You know, I started doing, uh, sort of escorting, which was in-call, uh, prostitution. Mm-hmm. 40 00:06:45.939 --> 00:06:56.220 And then kind of went backwards, started lap dancing, then doing f- uh, photography in mag- you know, magazines and for amateur photographers, and then started doing films. 41 00:06:56.540 --> 00:07:09.640 And because I'm a US citizen, I could travel freely to the US- Mm... where they'd brought in a law, it's called Statute 2257, where you have to have two forms of US ID to be able to appear in adult films- Oh... 42 00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:19.900 under the pretense of preventing child co- Oh, right... pornography. And I really dislike- Right... the term child pornography because it's, it's not. It's images of child abuse. Mm-hmm. 43 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:29.700 So we

need to stop conflating the two, because I think it kind of lessens the horrific things that are being done to children. Right. But anyway, that's a different discussion. 44 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:38.420 [laughs] So yeah, I could come and go to LA, and again, I'd go out for a month or so, work every day, and then come home for two months and not do anything at all. Mm-hmm. 45 00:07:38.460 --> 00:07:46.840 And it just provided a real, a disposable income, but a freedom, opportunity to go and visit different countries and, and meet lots of different people. 46 00:07:47.340 --> 00:07:57.960 And there are so many different reasons why people enter the sex industry. You know, some are doing it because they have to, because there's n- for whatever reason, they need to support a family- Mm-hmm... 47 00:07:58.060 --> 00:08:06.240 or they need to support a drug dependence and they have no other support and other ways of managing this while, you know, paying bills and keeping a roof over your head. 48 00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:18.120 Or, you know, I met someone who was doing a sociology degree and wanted to look at the sort of so- sociological aspects of, of pornography. Wow. Someone else was saving money to start a business. 49 00:08:18.340 --> 00:08:27.720 You know, so there are so many different reasons, you know. And for me, it was money and freedom, you know- Mm-hmm... and having that, not working in a nine-to-five. Right. 50 00:08:27.740 --> 00:08:42.600 And as I get older, I'm starting to suspect there might be a, a neurodiversity in myself, and being in a nine-to-five job really stifles me, and I u- I keep coming up against, you know, managers who are like, "This is how it has to be done." 51 00:08:42.660 --> 00:08:51.420 I'm like, "But that's inefficient. Why don't you do it this way?" "Because that's how it's always been done." I'm like, "But that- Right... you're losing money." So the- just friction. [laughs] Yeah. 52 00:08:51.460 --> 00:09:01.620 So it's, you know, and I... So working for myself kind of provides a bit of a, an income, but a distance away from the things that drive me crackers. Right. 53 00:09:02.040 --> 00:09:10.200 And then sort of it got to the point where it just wasn't fulfilling my needs anymore. You know, the money was still great, but I wasn't using my brain. 54 00:09:10.280 --> 00:09:22.340 I wasn't being creative, and I'm quite a creative person, and I needed that mental stimulation. And I did start to see a side of the male psyche that I don't necessarily think women should be exposed to- Mm... 55 00:09:22.560 --> 00:09:30.460 in some men. So I will preempt everything. It's not all men, but it's enough of them- Right, right... to really, you know. So I was like, "Okay, what, what can I do?" 56 00:09:31.500 --> 00:09:39.520 So I started trying to transition out of the industry, and then started getting fired because I'd be recognized by men who can't keep their mouths shut. Ah. Ah. 57 00:09:39.760 --> 00:09:48.700 And, you know, it's, it's the same thing, like, so men can masturbate, but women can't earn money. I mean, that's just a ludicrous- Mm... ludicrous state of affairs. 58 00:09:49.920 --> 00:10:01.680 And so I s- I left the industry, tried to muddle along, keep my head down, but I'd just be hounded across social media. And again, [laughs] and w- I don't hate men, I really don't. It does sound like I do, but I don't. 59 00:10:01.700 --> 00:10:11.300 [laughs] But they would create playlists where they'd put my real name and then my stage name, and that would be the first result you'd get on Google when you Googled- Oh, no... anything. 60 00:10:12.120 --> 00:10:24.440 And, you know, uh, message requests on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, you know, and it's just people would not let me go, l- leave, you know. It was like they'd, "Get back in your box," that kind of thing. Mm. Right. 61 00:10:24.520 --> 00:10:34.300 And, you know, for anytime I've spoken about e- even when I was in the industry, people are just so interested in the behind-the-curtain aspect, 'cause you only ever see 62 00:10:35.300 --> 00:10:46.180 where either, you know, sex workers are either plot devices or props or, you know, it's just a very one-sided view of things. Whereas I was speaking quite openly about the mundanity of it all, you know. Yeah. 63 00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:58.220 And yeah, you've gotta go and, you know, swap STI tests and look at their HIV test and, you know, then you've got to have the conversation about, "You can touch me here, but don't do this," and, "Oh, okay, I like really hard pressure on my testicles," but you know. 64 00:10:58.220 --> 00:11:01.160 [laughs] Mm-hmm. And having these very frank conversations. 65 00:11:02.300 --> 00:11:12.300 Um, and I'd realized that people need to hear what sex workers have to say about the industry, because the voices speaking on it don't know what they're talking about. 66 00:11:12.500 --> 00:11:21.600 All they talk about is the exploitation and the abuse, and it's like, okay, that certainly does happen, but name an industry where you don't have that. You know, I was- Yeah... 67 00:11:21.640 --> 00:11:31.440 I've been sexually assaulted in restaurants while I was working, you know. Yeah. I asked a man, "How would you like your steak cooking?" He was like, "Medium rare," and slapped me on the ass. I'm like... Mm. 68 00:11:31.460 --> 00:11:38.380 Whereas that never happened in pornography. You know, there was- Right... so there's- You had ex- yeah, you had rules and guidelines then, because- Exactly. Yeah, yeah. 69 00:11:38.400 --> 00:11:46.140 And there was much more, I think, respect in many ways. Yeah. And there was, there wasn't such a, an imbalance in power between men and women. Mm-hmm. 70 00:11:46.180 --> 00:11:52.520 Whereas, you know, I told my manager what had happened with, in the restaurant. "Well, you know, you've just gotta take it, haven't you? 'Cause they're customers, and they're always right." 71 00:11:53.660 -->

00:12:07.412 Uh, so it's- And that's such a wrong response, and it's such a wrong... But you're absolutely right. That's prolific in the industry, in that industry. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's, you know, to say-... 72 00:12:07.492 --> 00:12:13.852 porn or sex work is inherently bad is just very reductive. And I think- Mm-hmm... we're trying to put these laws in to stop... 73 00:12:13.872 --> 00:12:23.312 You know, they're trying to put a bill through in the UK at the moment that will criminalize sex buyers. And I'm like, "This isn't gonna do anything- No... except make it more and more dangerous for the workers." 74 00:12:23.652 --> 00:12:32.272 Exactly. Because it's the same as the war on drugs. Yeah. Exactly. Drug use is at an all-time high. The laws don't do anything except make it- Yeah... more and more dangerous. Yes. 75 00:12:32.312 --> 00:12:42.292 So let's please start taking a different, a radically different approach. Mm. Perhaps like Portugal. You know, they've decriminalized everything. They're having to consolidate police forces, apparently. 76 00:12:42.312 --> 00:12:52.272 This is what I've read. You know, so I think there would, there would just... We need to start moving away from laws and mindsets that were put into place hundreds of years ago- Yeah... 77 00:12:52.292 --> 00:12:58.992 that no longer serve the 21st century. Well, and the numbers tell the story. I mean, recently, um, we just had a... 78 00:12:59.252 --> 00:13:12.892 Gosh, I think it was yesterday, I was watching a, a news article about Pornhub, and I had no idea that they have more daily users, like 130 million daily users, so they far surpass, like, Netflix downloads. Yeah. 79 00:13:12.932 --> 00:13:21.512 And so, you know, there's, there's something to be said about that. Then, you know, you're gonna have people using it, so you're not gonna stop that. 80 00:13:21.692 --> 00:13:29.432 I'm not s- you know, and I'm not one of those people that says, "Okay, well, you know, if you can't stop everything, just let everything happen." But at the same time, the numbers tell the story. So- Yeah... 81 00:13:29.932 --> 00:13:42.132 how do you, how do you figure this out in a society to make it less dangerous, to make it, you know, um, not something that's, you know, whispered about in the back rooms when it really is mainstream? 82 00:13:42.632 --> 00:13:54.272 Um, figure out how to do this better so that, you know, that you are protecting people more. And so I can s- absolutely see what you, you know, what your passion is with this. Yeah. 83 00:13:54.312 --> 00:14:02.572 And I, and, uh, when, when you mentioned about, I think there just needs to be, again, a radical change in, in sex education. Mm-hmm. 84 00:14:02.732 --> 00:14:10.932 And I think by being respectful towards kids as young humans, you know, these are- Mm... gonna w- are people who are gonna grow into adulthood. And if you've- Yeah... 85 00:14:10.972 --> 00:14:19.892 hid them away from anything sexual, they're suddenly, they're curious. You know, "Mummy, what's a penis?" "Well, I'll tell you when you're older. Here's an iPhone-" Yeah... "so you can go and..." 86 00:14:20.312 --> 00:14:24.792 You know, and of course they're gonna be like... Exactly. You know? And it's- Exactly... 87 00:14:24.872 --> 00:14:32.532 I think it, I t- I mean, I'm not a parent, but I can totally imagine that there's this real desire to protect your child from anything like this. And- Yeah... 88 00:14:32.612 --> 00:14:41.372 you want to kind of infantilize them as long as you can, but I think that's doing them a disservice in many ways. Because if it's not you that tells them, it will be somebody else- Yeah... 89 00:14:41.392 --> 00:14:44.412 whether that's their friend or whether it's Pornhub or... 90 00:14:45.072 --> 00:14:59.332 You know, so I think age appropriate, we need to start giving the kids the tools they need, and to be able to critically look at pornography in the same way that they understand Harry Potter isn't an accurate portrayal of a school. 91 00:14:59.912 --> 00:15:09.152 Right. You know? It all- Right... and Furious is not how you learn to drive a car. [laughs] Oh, no. These are, you know, these are extremes of entertainment, and that's all it is, it's entertainment. 92 00:15:09.192 --> 00:15:18.372 It's not meant to be edu- edu- [laughs] can never say that word. It's not meant to be a learning tool. Yeah. You know? It- Well, I mean, even think about, um, uh, video games. You know? Mm. 93 00:15:18.412 --> 00:15:25.652 So video games where you're shooting people. You know, there's, there... Sometimes it can get confusing for kids. 94 00:15:26.112 --> 00:15:37.752 You know, if they're, if they are accessing video games that are w- you know, beyond where they are maturity-wise, they can get confused. And, you know, and, and w- there are things that unfortunately happen from that. 95 00:15:37.792 --> 00:15:49.592 But you're absolutely right. We live in a world where, um, pornography is easily accessible. You know, when I was young, I, I'm, I wouldn't have known, but I remember we had a neighbor that went out of town. 96 00:15:49.632 --> 00:15:59.012 And so, um, he asked my mom if she would, you know, pick up his mail. He was, like, our tenant. He rented the house next door to us. And I... You know, so she'd have me run over and get the mail every day. 97 00:15:59.292 --> 00:16:07.692 And so I was stacking it up, you know, while he was gone. Mm. And I remember he got a Playboy ma- or yeah, Playboy magazine. And I was like, "What's this?" So I [laughs] opened it up. 98 00:16:07.792 --> 00:16:16.832 I'm, I'm looking at everything, and I, I kind of had this confused look on my face. My mom walks in. She's like, "Oh, my God. What are you doing?" I'm like, "I'm not really sure I understand all this." 99 00:16:16.852 --> 00:16:25.871 [laughs] And she goes, "You're not supposed to. It's..." I'm like... But it's funny that, that, you know, that had a big impact

on me. 100 00:16:25.912 --> 00:16:35.972 And I remember thinking, "Huh, now I understand, you know, those magazines that are behind the..." You know, they were in brown paper behind the, you know, the, the, uh, the cashier in the grocery store and things. 101 00:16:36.432 --> 00:16:44.652 And it, but it made me, like, kind of ask questions. But now- Yeah... all you have to do is, you know, Google something on your phone and you're, you have those options. 102 00:16:44.792 --> 00:16:55.252 If we don't protect our, if we don't protect them by educating them, then- Absolutely... they're gonna find it anyway. So yeah, who w- who do you want to be in control of the information, you or the iPhone? Absolutely. 103 00:16:55.252 --> 00:17:00.332 [laughs] Absolutely. You know, and I think they need to, when creating... 104 00:17:01.012 --> 00:17:12.012 So I started doing lectures about sex work, um, and it happened a, a medical student contacted me, and they were putting together a, an education package, and one of the modules was on pornography. 105 00:17:12.632 --> 00:17:19.592 And they said, "You know, we don't know anything about pornography other than as viewers, so it's not really f- right for us to teach kids about something we don't know." 106 00:17:20.132 --> 00:17:30.452 And I just think that's a, a much more kinda holistic way of teaching. You know, how can you... I would never presume to teach someone about physics [laughs] 'cause I've got no idea of- Right... you know? 107 00:17:30.492 --> 00:17:40.432 So it's like- Right... start incorporating. You... There's such a wealth of knowledge out there among, you know, especially on sex work Twik- uh, Twitter. You know, I learn constantly about different things. 108 00:17:40.472 --> 00:17:51.452 And I think we just need to start involving sex workers in education, because sex workers don't want kids watching pornography. That's not at all- Right... what we want. Right. You know, we want them to understand that 109 00:17:53.232 --> 00:18:02.012 it's just, it's entertainment, and it's titillation, and it's a, a masturbatory aid. You know, it's, it's just never meant to be used as a learning tool. Because the, what they don't- Mm... 110 00:18:02.072 --> 00:18:12.412 understand is, for example, an anal sex scene, that takes a good 12 hours of prep. You know, I had to start starving myself the night before. Oh. You know, and you have to stretch yourself. 111 00:18:12.592 --> 00:18:18.052 And none of that is shown on the video. So then they're suddenly, "Well, what, there's feces all over my..." You know? 112 00:18:18.072 --> 00:18:22.992 And it's like, well, of course there is, because that's what happens when you put things up something that things are meant to come out of. 113 00:18:23.648 --> 00:18:34.508 You know, but they don't have, they're not able to contextualize the body and why it's doing what it's doing on the film, and they've just not been given the resources that they need to make these critical, 114 00:18:35.448 --> 00:18:45.468 y- you know, and intellectual choices, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. And it comes back to that, you know, also, um, you know, that Instagram perfection, you know- Mm-hmm... 115 00:18:45.508 --> 00:18:55.568 that people think, "If my life doesn't look as pic- as perfect as their pictures on Instagram, then I'm lacking. If my sex life- Yeah... doesn't look like it looks like on a, on a, you know, in a porn movie, then 116 00:18:56.568 --> 00:19:07.708 wh- then I must be lacking." Instead of these things are, they are, uh, packaged in a way to make people want to see them, want to view them, you know, be entertained, like you said. 117 00:19:08.248 --> 00:19:13.968 And it's, it's a fine line between, you know, all the things that we're already self-critical about ourselves. Yeah. 118 00:19:13.988 --> 00:19:23.228 And then if you try and compare yourself to something that's been orchestrated for 12 hours [laughs] and people are prepped for it, it's a lot. [laughs] You- Exactly... you're never gonna achieve that. [laughs] Exactly. 119 00:19:23.228 --> 00:19:31.328 You know, with crews of, of people. You know, on some film sets there'd be 12 members of crew standing around looking bored, and you still have to be all enthusiastic. 120 00:19:31.368 --> 00:19:39.048 But it's like these things are highly manufactured, you know? Yeah. So it's of course your life's not gonna look like that, and you please don't ever want it to look like that. Get it. 121 00:19:39.068 --> 00:19:50.008 Because that 10-minute scene took five hours to film, [laughs] you know? Yeah. And it's, there's a lot of discomfort involved in that. Oh, I bet. [laughs] I bet. But it's... Yeah, that's the age we live in, isn't it? 122 00:19:50.048 --> 00:19:58.608 We all want, it's gotta be for the 'Gram, and it all has to... I mean, that's why I don't s- Right... I try not to spend too much time on Instagram. 'Cause even me at 41, I get affected by, "Oh God- Yeah... 123 00:19:58.608 --> 00:20:08.408 I feel so lacking." Yeah. Even just, you know, by everything I've achieved in my life, I still feel second to these people who are all perfect and they- Yeah... 124 00:20:08.448 --> 00:20:20.288 you know, they post a selfie that's taken 40 tries to get perfect. And I take one and I'm like, "I look hideous." So I just don't bother. [laughs] I get it. So f- to be... I'm so glad I didn't grow up with social media. 125 00:20:20.548 --> 00:20:29.348 I'm so glad. Me too. Me too, and- It's a bit difficult to try and navigate that... and we're gonna, we're gonna take a quick break in just a second, but I'll leave th- one last thought before our break, and that is, um, 126 00:20:30.268 --> 00:20:38.528 I, we, my husband and I were in Italy, and we were, you know, around, you know, Lake Como. And, you know, it's beautiful and it's gorgeous, and we're in this little town to have lunch. 127 00:20:38.928 --> 00:20:43.868 And there's this gal sitting on the dock, and behind

her is, you know, the mountains and the lake, and it was gorgeous. 128 00:20:44.148 --> 00:20:54.568 But all she did was, it was like, take a picture, and then she'd move her head a fraction of a sec- you know, a little piece, and then she'd take another picture. And she must have taken 50-some pictures. 129 00:20:54.608 --> 00:21:03.928 And I'm like, "I wonder which one made it onto Instagram?" [laughs] Right. [laughs] 'Cause that was a lot of work. [laughs] That is madness. So we're gonna take a quick break. 130 00:21:03.968 --> 00:21:14.168 We'll hear from our sponsor, and we'll be right back. [upbeat music] Are you tired of the time and expense of going to the salon for a mani-pedi? If so, Color Street is your answer. 131 00:21:14.568 --> 00:21:27.508 Base, color, and top coats are blended together in an incredible polish strip that you apply yourself. The result? 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So I love the, the, the transition that you're making. 137 00:22:28.328 --> 00:22:37.868 And I actually really appreciated when I watched your intro on your YouTube channel, where you're like, "Hey, if you know me from anyplace else, this is not what you... That's not who I wanna hear from. 138 00:22:38.188 --> 00:22:39.588 Don't write, don't make comments." 139 00:22:39.627 --> 00:22:49.768 Because you're right, I can see how if you've developed a following in that part of your life and you're transitioning to something that now you're passionate about right here, that you're still gonna have some people that follow you along. 140 00:22:49.808 --> 00:23:04.008 But, you know, what has this transition meant for you to, you know, start being in your, you know, Auntie Rachael's, uh, you know, Crazy Kitchen and, and try to, um, you know, take your new passion and love of veganism to a new level? 141 00:23:04.048 --> 00:23:12.688 What, what's that adventure been like for you? The kitchen kinda came around because of the pandemic, because of COVID. And I was spending, you know, I did a... 142 00:23:13.268 --> 00:23:22.208 [laughs] So we had the kind of, well, full lockdown in the UK, couldn't really leave your house, and I'd watched Tiger King. [laughs] I'd watched all the Netflix. 143 00:23:22.308 --> 00:23:29.528 [laughs] You know, I was like, "Okay, what am I gonna do now?" I refuse to watch Tiger King- And-... 'cause I don't wanna get sucked in. [laughs] Oh my goodness. 144 00:23:29.588 --> 00:23:39.708 It's just [laughs] I watched the first one and then I was like, "Eh, I don't..." And then everyone was hyping it on Twitter, so I was like, "All right, I'll watch the second." And then I was like [laughs] "What?" 145 00:23:41.248 --> 00:23:51.608 Bonkers. But anyway, um, and I've got, I've got d- depression anxiety, and I could feel myself really starting to, to- Mm... head into an episode. So I was like, "What am I gonna do?" So I started cooking, 146 00:23:52.828 --> 00:23:58.608 and I've always been a bit kind of experimental or just chuck a load of things in the pot and see what happens. Mm-hmm. 147 00:23:58.688 --> 00:24:07.628 Um, and baking has always been a little bit intimidating for me, 'cause it's, it's feels a bit more scientific 'cause you've gotta get the ratios of everything right. So I started 148 00:24:08.888 --> 00:24:17.828 adapting recipes that I'd found and trying different things with them, and then posting, you know, "Oh, I tried this and it came out quite well." So put that on social media 'cause a bit of content, why not? 149 00:24:17.888 --> 00:24:25.708 Boost the acting thing. And so a couple of friends said, "Why don't you have a YouTube channel for your cooking?" I was like, "Why don't I have a YouTube channel for my cooking?" Yeah, there you go. 150 00:24:25.748 --> 00:24:38.856 Like, that's a good idea. Yeah. I just, I think, I don't know, I don't necessarily think this is gonna be the last time we experience something like this. Potentially not- Mm... hopefully not to the same extent. 151 00:24:38.876 --> 00:24:48.376 But I think- Right... you know, the way we live our lives, and so many of us are so busy and traveling the way we are, I think these kind of things are gonna come around again. 152 00:24:48.776 --> 00:24:57.476 So the ability to make a, an income from my house- Yes... is bec- is quite important, I think. And- Yes... a, a degree of passive income as well. 153 00:24:57.516 --> 00:25:05.736 You know, especially for when my Ehlers-Danlos is flaring up and I can't physically work. You know- Yeah... just have something that's ticking along. So that's a good idea. 154 00:25:06.696 --> 00:25:16.636 So, and [laughs] then I was kind of, "Okay, well I'll, what I'll do..." Because I'm an actor, I'm used to being in front of camera, and obviously the pornography has made me incredibly comfortable in front of a camera. 155 00:25:17.016 --> 00:25:27.036 Right. So I'll just chuck up a camera and see what happens. And then as I was editing the first couple of videos, [laughs] I was just like, "My God, I'm so chaotic." And I was like, well, there it is. There's your USP.

156 00:25:27.076 --> 00:25:37.716 There it is. There it is. Just embrace your... You know, and my, I play Dungeons and Dragons, and my typical alignment is chaotic neutral, so I was like, let's just roll with this and, and see what happens. Yeah. 157 00:25:37.736 --> 00:25:47.736 And it kind of allow- it freed me up a little bit, 'cause I started holding myself up to, like, Nigella Lawson and all these other TV chefs who are so polished and amazing. Yeah. 158 00:25:47.736 --> 00:25:56.056 And I was like milk boiling over everywhere, dropping things, and just... [laughs] But then I saw, and then I watched, uh, I can't remember. 159 00:25:56.156 --> 00:26:07.876 It might have been a Nigella Lawson, and she was putting stuff in the, in this, making a dish, putting this stuff in. I'm like, but why are you using that? Like, what, what, what properties does that have? Right. 160 00:26:08.116 --> 00:26:16.656 And I no- and then I noticed that that's missing from a lot of TV chefs, is they- Right... don't necessarily explain the ingredients. So all they're doing is teaching you how to make a recipe- Mm... 161 00:26:16.696 --> 00:26:22.076 rather than teaching you how to apply the knowledge across your own creations. Right. 162 00:26:22.116 --> 00:26:30.596 So I thought, right, well, I'll, I'll be mindful of that, and I'll try and always explain, you know, well, I'm using this potato starch because it has a really nice clarity and it has structure. 163 00:26:30.616 --> 00:26:39.836 And, you know, so I kind of... Because I want people to watch the video and maybe try that dish, but also think, "Oh, she did that thing with the potato starch, and I really need to thicken this soup. 164 00:26:39.976 --> 00:26:52.716 Maybe I'll try it, see if that- Right... works." You know? And it's, I wanna empower people to try, you know. 'Cause pe- I think cooking can be a bit daunting for people, and for a lot of men as well- Mm... 165 00:26:52.736 --> 00:27:00.456 'cause they've, you know, it's not manly, is it? [laughs] You know, they've been taught that's woman's work. So to- Yeah. And the majority of my YouTube viewers are male at the moment. 166 00:27:00.716 --> 00:27:08.336 Like, according to, to the YouTube analytics, 100% are male. So I think a lot of that is former fans that have followed me- Yeah... followed me along. 167 00:27:09.176 --> 00:27:19.256 Um, and it's- Well, that's good, though, 'cause if they make the e- if they make the transition to where you are now and accept you, you know, this way, that is a great sign. It's lovely, you know. Yeah. 168 00:27:19.276 --> 00:27:27.616 And I've had some really nice, beautifully supportive messages. And I did a podcast a few months ago, and it was the first time I'd ever really spoken openly about it. 169 00:27:28.476 --> 00:27:35.956 And I was like, right, well, it's being published tomorrow. So I put out a thing on social media saying, "Just in case you didn't know, this is me." Mm-hmm. 170 00:27:35.976 --> 00:27:43.496 And just had loads of comments saying, "I, I've loved you from your adult career, but now watching you in the kitchen is just amazing." Like- Aw... you know? 171 00:27:43.516 --> 00:27:54.556 And, and I just sat in tears, 'cause I'd expected this horrific backlash. Right. And I had a couple of horrible comments, but I just blocked them, moved on. I mean, that's just- Yeah... that's social media, isn't it? 172 00:27:55.036 --> 00:28:03.396 Yeah. But yeah, to get that support and the validation as well was really nice to- Yeah... uh, you know, to kind of buoyed me up a little bit. Very good. So yeah. 173 00:28:03.436 --> 00:28:13.616 And it's, and now it's just about, I don't really plan anything in... You know, I'll have an idea in my head, and I kind of deconstruct it in my mind, and then just put the camera on and, and go for it. 174 00:28:14.216 --> 00:28:22.816 And it's- I love it... I'm kind of trying it, and people are watching along, and they'll, they're seeing it in, almost in real time of- Yeah... what's gonna happen? Is this gonna work? Yeah. 175 00:28:22.816 --> 00:28:28.616 [laughs] And sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes- My theory is-... sometimes it goes horribly wrong. 176 00:28:28.676 --> 00:28:39.496 [laughs] Whenever I cook something different that I haven't, you know, cooked before, um, I always say to people, you know, "Look, if this doesn't work out, we can always order pizza." [laughs] That's great. Exactly. 177 00:28:39.516 --> 00:28:48.815 You know what? It's either gonna be okay- Yeah... and it, you know, or great, or it's not. You won't hurt my feelings if you don't like it. I'll say, "No problem. Let's order some pizza." [laughs] It's all good. Right. 178 00:28:49.416 --> 00:29:00.896 And the other great thing about vegan food or p- plant-based food is that it's very hard to poison yourself. [laughs] So, you know- [laughs]... you can, you know, the, food poisoning is much less of a, a risk, you know? 179 00:29:01.136 --> 00:29:11.276 So [laughs] it's... And then- Good point... and it... Yeah. [laughs] And if it goes wrong, make a soup out of it. [laughs] You know? It's fine. [laughs] Exactly. Exactly. Oh, I love it. 180 00:29:11.656 --> 00:29:19.696 Well, and I think it's, it's a, it's a fabulous way to do it, especially not only with you explaining things, but really, um, just being chaotic. 181 00:29:19.816 --> 00:29:30.276 Because, you know, being who you are, that's the key, is being your authentic self. And if it's a little chaotic or crazy or it's a little messy, I think that's why you're gaining, you know, such a following, because 182 00:29:31.236 --> 00:29:41.496 honesty about who we are is, you know, it's endearing. We want it. We wanna see people for who they are and see that they're just as messy as we are. [laughs] Yeah. You know, it's, I think... 183 00:29:42.676 --> 00:29:50.876 I, I e- I enjoy seeing other people's vulnerability or their infallibi-

you know, their fallibility, and I think it just humanizes, you know? And- Right... 184 00:29:50.916 --> 00:29:58.636 so I've, I've talked a couple of times about the Ehlers-Danlos, and so I bought these... I don't know if they're gonna pick up- Yeah... wonderfully well. I had to buy some splints for my fingers. Yeah. 185 00:29:58.636 --> 00:30:09.896 And that's started a couple of conversations, like, "Oh, what, what are they for?" And because I learned, I got my diagnosis because of RuPaul's Drag Race, you know? So, uh, I think it's Yvie Oddly. Really? Uh-huh. 186 00:30:09.896 --> 00:30:17.316 And I have, I haven't watched the show myself, but a friend had s- had said, "Oh, I've seen this thing on... And it, and it sounds just like what you're going through." 187 00:30:17.356 --> 00:30:21.436 So I did a Google search and was like, "That is my life." 188 00:30:21.856 --> 00:30:32.236 Uh, like [laughs] so I think the w- more I can talk about these things, then other people might suddenly have these random moments, and then, that it, it can be life-changing. Yeah. 189 00:30:32.296 --> 00:30:42.944 I mean, there's no cure or anything, but at least I know what it is, and I know that- Yeah... I'm not a lazy b- POS. [laughs] Oh, yeah You know, I, I've got chronic fatigue, you know? Right. I'm disabled. 190 00:30:43.184 --> 00:30:48.664 So it really helps- A very-... with acceptance... a very good friend of mine has it as well. Right. And I had never even heard of it. 191 00:30:49.124 --> 00:30:57.224 And actually she is, um, getting ready to have some surgery for, you know, that will basically help her neck stay more connected. Right. Right. 192 00:30:57.264 --> 00:31:01.564 Um, and, uh, you know, and she's known, I mean, hers has progressed quite a bit. 193 00:31:01.604 --> 00:31:14.184 But, you know, listening to her, it's been really eye-opening about, you know, being more conscientious of other people and where they are physically and what- Yeah... you know, and don't make assumptions, you know? 194 00:31:14.464 --> 00:31:25.504 But also from your standpoint, don't always, you know, disregard what you're feeling, you know, as if it's, "Oh, it's just, you know, me being lazy," or whatever. I mean, physical conditions are 195 00:31:26.504 --> 00:31:36.704 serious and they impact our lives. Yeah. I mean, I've had people say, "Well, you, you're not disabled. Look at you." [laughs] I'm like, "Oh, so because you find me attractive I'm not disab- what?" Yeah, exactly. 196 00:31:36.724 --> 00:31:48.204 So we've just got such a dismissive attitude in our society. [laughs] It's horrendous. You know, and so if, if me looking like this can normalize- Mm... chronic illnesses, then I'll be that person. 197 00:31:48.244 --> 00:31:57.184 I'll stand up and say, "No, this is what chronic pain looks like. I'm smiling- Yeah... and I look great, but inside I'm dying." Right. I really want to lie down, but I'm gonna keep going. And you're like, 198 00:31:58.124 --> 00:32:06.844 uh, I mean, that's being an actress, you know? Yeah. [laughs] That's it. Yep. That's it. [laughs] You just gotta keep that poker face on and... Same with porn, you know? I, everyone's like- Yeah... 199 00:32:06.864 --> 00:32:16.084 "Oh, you really loved it." I'm like, "Did I?" [laughs] Did I? [laughs] Did I really? [laughs] Did I really or am I a really great actress? [laughs] Oscar-winning performances, I'm telling you. 200 00:32:16.204 --> 00:32:21.564 [laughs] All I can, all I can think of is 12 people, you know, just l- looking over at you. 201 00:32:21.604 --> 00:32:28.004 You know, some with lights, some with the cameras, and, and some of them just going, "Hmm, before I go home today I gotta stop at the grocery store." 202 00:32:28.004 --> 00:32:37.084 [laughs] And that's what I'd be doing as well, like mid-scene like, "Oh, I need to pay my taxes. Oh, I need to get that thing from Gelson's." You know? [laughs] It's, it's just a job. [laughs] I love it. 203 00:32:37.124 --> 00:32:47.183 But you gotta look like the time of your life. [laughs] Exactly. Oh, Rachel, I could talk to you all day. I, I really value, um, your story and you sharing it, so thank you. 204 00:32:47.623 --> 00:32:55.724 And I'm really excited to see where you go with your YouTube channel. I know you're getting close to that, uh, that big number that, uh, you know, that first 1,000 followers. Awesome. You're getting close up there. Yeah. 205 00:32:55.764 --> 00:33:01.904 So- Yeah. Many, yeah... you know, those of us who do on YouTube, we're, we're always watching those numbers because they're important when you hit certain, uh, benchmarks. 206 00:33:01.984 --> 00:33:05.564 But I'm, I'm looking forward to seeing where you, where you can take it. 207 00:33:05.864 --> 00:33:12.144 And we're gonna have all of your contact information on our show notes, but just in case somebody wants to look you up right now, what's the best way for them to find you? 208 00:33:13.204 --> 00:33:27.444 So I'm on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook as Auntie Rachel. And it's, in Rachel it, the A is an eight 'cause it's more chaotic. [laughs] Exactly. And then on YouTube it's Auntie Rachel's Chaotic Kitchen. I love it. 209 00:33:27.464 --> 00:33:39.164 Well, before we go, do you have any last words of wisdom or pearls of advice for my listeners and viewers? I think it's important to, to stop letting other people put us in boxes that we're not comfortable in. Mm-hmm. 210 00:33:39.184 --> 00:33:47.704 You know, you need to burst out of them because it's just so limiting, and it's exhausting trying to conform to other people's ideals. 211 00:33:48.564 --> 00:34:00.984 And I think it can start having a, um, almost a corrupting influence on your life if you're trying to be somebody that somebody else wants you to be. You're then not taking care of your own needs, you know? 212 00:34:02.184 --> 00:34:11.664 So that's like a super serious one I suppose. And then, but also just embrace your silliness and your creativity- Mm... and, and don't let anyone yuck on your yum, you know? 213 00:34:11.664 --> 00:34:22.504 [laughs] If you want to go to Comic-Con and dress up like Spider-Man and d- do a dance, just do it. Just absolutely do it 100%, 'cause it'll bring you joy. And just don't let anyone 214 00:34:23.524 --> 00:34:34.084 m- m- make you feel shame or embarrassment for your in- your, the things that bring you joy. Unless your, you know, joy is animal abuse. Don't do that. But [laughs] you know- [laughs]... 215 00:34:34.124 --> 00:34:40.044 as long as, as long as that joy is just something that really lights you up in some way. Right. 216 00:34:40.064 --> 00:34:50.724 Brings you a bit of relief from the insanity that's out in the world, or just brings you a little smile or makes you just feel, "Ah, okay, things are good right now." Yeah. Just grab hold of that- I love it... 217 00:34:50.844 --> 00:34:59.084 and really ride it hard. I love it. I love it. Thank you so much for being my guest today, Rachel. It has been a pleasure to interview you. Ah, thanks for having me on. 218 00:34:59.304 --> 00:35:04.724 [laughs] Thank you for joining us on another episode of the Shock Your Potential podcast. 219 00:35:05.344 --> 00:35:23.504 Learn more about us today at shockyourpotential.com, including details on Michael's two best-selling books, Tell Me More: How to Ask the Right Questions and Get the Most Out of Your Employees, and Sales Mixology: Why the Most Potent Sales and Customer Experiences Follow a Recipe for Success. 220 00:35:24.544 --> 00:35:36.304 Make sure to check out our Shock Your Potential app, on-demand professional training resources to help you excel in your career. And as always, don't forget to subscribe, rate, and like us today.