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WEBVTT
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Hello everyone.
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Welcome to another episode of Open Tabs.
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I am your host, Keely.
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Now, I have two things I need to say before we get started.
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One, if you hear some planking in the background or wrestling, anything like that, it's because I'm doing my makeup right now.
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Dressed up for the entire month of Halloween.
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I'm doing my makeup.
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So if you hear that, there we go.
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And this is a trigger warning.
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Today we're going to be talking about some heavy topics like sexual assault.
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If you don't want to listen, that is okay.
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Tune in for the next episode.
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I just wanted to have that note right there.
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Now that I've got that two thing, those two things out of the way, let's get started.
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I'm sure y'all have probably been keeping up with all of the stuff that's going on.
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If you haven't, then that's okay because life is a little heavy right now, and sometimes you don't really want to know what's going on.
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You've probably heard about Cornell and that entire situation that has occurred.
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What happened is that a young woman in 2024 was at a frat party.
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She was drunk, and she was in a room with a bunch of men who then raped her.
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Then those men sent a message to 50 other guys, I believe, on Snapchat.
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First of all, screw you, Snapchat, for allowing that.
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Then they sent that on Snapchat that there's a one young woman that was available for sex.
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All of this has come out, and it is it is a lot, okay?
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Some of the people on TikTok are just awful saying, well, she was drunk, she shouldn't have gone into a frat party.
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What did she think was gonna happen?
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All of this fucking bullshit.
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Because first of all, it doesn't matter if she was drunk.
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It does not matter.
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Whether or not she was drunk is not relevant to what happened to her.
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Alright, it's not.
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She could not consent.
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Boys should have been an adult and been like, oh no, she can't.
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We need to make sure she's safe.
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That's what a real man would do.
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But unfortunately, we're not dealing with real men.
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We're dealing with trash.
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It does not matter if she's drunk.
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And I hate when they say she shouldn't have put herself in that situation.
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What makes me even more pissed off is that there's a lot of women who are saying that.
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And I cannot stand those kind of women who are like, she shouldn't have been drunk.
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What did she think was gonna happen?
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First of all, screw you and your victim blaming.
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Also, as a woman, how can you even say that?
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Why is it the woman's job to ensure that she is safe?
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Like, why do we have to carry the pepper spray and be aware of our surroundings and not put ourselves in situations?
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Why is that our responsibility?
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The thing is, it should not be.
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It should not be our responsibility.
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How about men not be trash human beings?
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I'm just saying.
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How about they not be terrible?
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Hmm?
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No?
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We can't.
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I see so many, so many women who were saying, well, she shouldn't have put herself in that position.
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I freaking hate that.
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Megan Kelly, who we all know is just terrible to begin with, was like, why did she wait this long to do this?
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First of all, she's not getting anything from coming out now.
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Just saying, she's not she's not getting anything.
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What does coming out now do for her?
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She has been blasted on the internet by assholes.
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She's now been, I guess, swatted, which what the fuck?
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And what what does she get?
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Nothing.
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I hate the perspective that of she shouldn't put herself in that position.
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And I hate also the perspective of what about their future?
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You're gonna ruin their lives, or you're gonna ruin it.
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What about hers?
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Her life was ruined the second she was in that room.
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She is never going to be the same.
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Not ever.
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She will never be the same.
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What about her life?
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Why do you not care about her life?
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I don't care about theirs.
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Load full transcript
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I don't.
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Because I just don't.
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I also do not care about the guys' future who in their who are in the group chat.
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Not a single one of them saw that message and thought, that's fucked up and didn't do a damn thing.
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You know what these guys did had to do?
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I don't even think any of them were suspended.
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They had to write an essay.
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They assault this po woman and they have to write an essay.
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Whoever assigns that also needs to be charged with something.
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Because that is bullshit.
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I don't think that universities should deal with those kind of assaults.
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Because first of all, they're gonna cover it up and they're gonna pat it.
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Then women are not gonna wanna be or do any of that.
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They're not gonna wanna say things because why would they?
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People are gonna look at them like they're doing something wrong.
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Again, it goes back to the what about their future.
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I do not care about their future.
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There's not a single part of me that will ever care about their future.
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Because their future was ruined the second they decided to be terrible.
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They did that to themselves.
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That is not on her.
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Now, I've not been assaulted.
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Which still in itself is just awful.
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Like I shouldn't have to deal with that.
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No one should have to deal with that.
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It's very annoying.
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I will tell you that when I was living in DC, my friends and I went to a bar, and before we went to the bar, I ate like a lot of food because I eat a lot.
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So I ate a lot of food.
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We were yeah, I had like 10 shots, okay.
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I was feeling it, I was having fun.
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Friend said that I had stopped drinking, and I was drinking water and eating olives because apparently the bar didn't have like anything other than olives.
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What a terrible bar.
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Who doesn't have that?
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They said that I was drinking water and I was doing fine, and it seemed like I was sobering up, right?
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So good, you know what I mean?
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And it probably helped that I had all that food from before.
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They said
it seemed like I was sobering up.
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Then out of nowhere, I like dropped to the counter of the bar.
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Like just dropped.
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Completely knocked out.
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They said it was weird.
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I ended up in the ER.
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They said it was alcohol poisoning.
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Right.
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But when I called my mom and told her what happened, she asked, did anyone take a blood sample?
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Did anyone want your blood?
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Because it sounds like you were drugged.
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I said, No, they didn't.
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I almost didn't let my friend Caroline stay with me.
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Caroline's my best friend.
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Almost didn't let her stay with me.
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Which I would have been really freaked out, but it was just weird to me that I felt completely fine one minute.
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And then I wasn't.
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But no, they didn't bother to do any sort of test.
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They're like just just a drunk girl.
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But I felt fine.
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Yeah, I was still kind of drunk, but I I felt fine.
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My friends, thankfully, I was not alone.
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I had a whole group of us who made sure that I was safe.
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But had I been alone, and had I not had good friends, that could have been completely different.
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Because we all know by someone would have drugged someone.
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I got lucky.
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I was with good friends.
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Not everyone is lucky to have good friends, or even to be with friends.
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And I also do feel like it was probably the bartender because he had been flirting with me the entire night, and I never my drink was in my hand.
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I feel like it had to be him.
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But the reality is, is that that shouldn't be the reality.
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I shouldn't have to worry about someone drugging my drink.
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That should never be the reality.
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Ever.
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Again, the women who stick up for the men who are like breaking and assaulting women and saying, well, she shouldn't have been drunk, or why'd she put herself in that position?
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All of that.
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Don't get me wrong, the men disgust me too.
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Like they're trash.
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But the fact that there are women who are also like this.
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What is wrong with you as a woman when you are blaming the women for what a man did?
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That is some internal misogyny.
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That is some like you you need help.
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I follow a lot of content creators, and I follow this one, he was amazing, he's a husband, and he's got goddaughter, and he's just awesome.
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His goddaughter reached out to him because she overheard some of her friends, male friends, making some very poor taste jokes, and she was very upset because she didn't think that they were the kind of boys who would do that.
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And so she was upset because suddenly she's like, I thought I knew them.
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I I thought I knew them, and it turns out I don't.
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To me, that's sad, but also it's so heartbreaking to know and realize that you can't even trust your friends.
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Rape and assault is not a joke.
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It's not.
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There is an SNL skit, and SNL is probably gonna get some heat because they one of the guys there said that was talking about women in the gym and how they all dress like whores, and it's just freaking misogynistic bullshit.
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Like, why are they dressing like that?
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And Danny Levy, Levi, who was in shit to cricket, is like maybe you should leave the gym and just first.
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Thankfully, we do have some good men.
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Few and far between, but we do have some good ones.
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It's just like it doesn't matter what the woman's wearing, it doesn't matter she's drinking, none of that matters.
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Your behavior matters, it's not on the women to control your behavior.
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If you can't control your behavior, that is a you problem.
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That is a you need to examine your life because it should not be up to us.
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It's just very upsetting, and the guy I was talking about, he said just get rid of frat houses, yeah?
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Because come on, we just had another one.
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Where and you know who saved that other girl?
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It was women.
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That's who.
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Not a man, the so-called protectors.
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Another woman.
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And her two women, I believe.
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Just no.
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Get rid of it.
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Because again, I don't care about her their future.
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I care about her future.
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I care about if their future of what happened to 'em.
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It is not on women to control men's behavior.
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It is on men to control their behavior.
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That should not be that hard to understand at all.
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I don't know why it's hard to understand.
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Because it should not be.
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Ever.
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It should not be that hard to understand that.
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Yeah, here we are in 2026.
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And this is still the reality that we have.
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Dude, why is this not covering my face?
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Sorry guys, I'm doing makeup and she was not covering my face.
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That should not be our reality.
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It really shouldn't.
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One of my favorite shows is Law in Order SVU.
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I say this because, first of all, relevant to our topic.
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It's called the Special Victims Unit.
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What I like about the show is not only do you get the satisfaction of Olivia Benson kicking ass and taking down some fucking awful people.
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And I think we need that because it's just we don't get that very often.
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You know what I mean?
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It's such a such a dark place right now.
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And I think seeing that even if it's on television makes people feel sane.
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But every now and again, you have episodes that are way too close to home.
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The one that sticks out the most to me is there's this episode of this college girl named Evie.
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And if you've watched if you watch the show, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.
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And then she ends up getting ganged raped by these two guys.
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Turns out that Evie did some porn to pay for her classes.
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Okay?
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Nothing wrong with that.
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She's trying to make me ends meet, she's trying to do what she can, right?
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Nothing wrong with that.
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But the judge guy's lawyer the boy's lawyer.
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First of all, the boy's lawyer is like, she did porn, so she she wanted the how do we know what the difference is?
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It doesn't matter if she did porn.
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It does not.
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There it does not matter.
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So that's what their argument is.
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That cheated porn, so that means she we can't believe her that she was actually assaulted.
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I think for a moment that everything's fine.
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But the judge, who's a fucking asshole, is like, I see true, genuine remorse.
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I'm not gonna wreck their lives.
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So he dismisses the charges.
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Which is some bullshit.
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So he dismisses the charges.
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He blames her and says, I don't know if the recent trend of victimhood or it's it is some bullshit.
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It pisses me off because that's the reality of what women have to go through.
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That's that's the reality.
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They always have to go through that.
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It is always their fault.
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Boys remember there's another episode where Livia says Rape is the only crime where the victim is put on trial.
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You don't ask the woman who was robbed, or the man who was robbed, why did they get in that go in that store?
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We don't ask them that.
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But you act asked the rape victim, what were you wearing?
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Were you drinking?
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And so many go unreported because of that mindset.
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It's so much deeper.
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Because what do people tell little girls when little boys are being mean to them?
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Oh, he just likes you.
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No, he's not gonna pull her hair because he likes her.
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We need to adjust our thinking because that's the only way anything is going to change.
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It's so deeply rooted into the world.
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So deeply rooted into the environment.
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It's it's insane again that we're here in 2026, and this is still a freaking problem.
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This is still the reality that people live in.
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It should not be.
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Or should I make sure I don't drink?
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Because I never know what could happen.
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I shouldn't have to do that.
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No woman should have to do that.
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We shouldn't have to check ourselves because the men can't check themselves.
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Which again is bullshit.
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It's very exhausting.
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There's just a lot of I think rage.
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Which is understandable.
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Of course there's gonna be rage because there's a bunch of awful shit that's happening every single time.
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We get ahead.
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It seems like we go backwards.
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Two women who
were on the men's side saying, What about the boys' future?
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You're the freaking problem.
00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:42.640
Boy moms are the fucking problem.
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:45.759
I'm saying that with my whole heart and my whole chest because they are.
00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:46.559
I hate that.
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:49.359
Boy moms, I'm gonna do everything to protect my son.
00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:52.160
How come you teach your son not to be a piece of shit?
00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:53.519
Just saying.
00:21:54.559 --> 00:22:02.079
You, what is what is wrong with you where you Hate yourself as a woman.
00:22:02.160 --> 00:22:03.359
Because that's what that comes off as.
00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:05.839
It comes off as that the women hate themselves.
00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:09.920
It's just not no.
00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:11.680
Okay, just just no.
00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:13.680
Stop.
00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:19.759
How about you raise your boys to be decent human beings?
00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:26.079
That raise them to be decent human beings.
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:28.079
It's not that hard.
00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:31.200
Apparently it is that hard, but it's not that hard.
00:22:31.440 --> 00:22:33.519
In reality, it's not that hard.
00:22:35.279 --> 00:22:37.039
And stop blaming women.
00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:38.880
Stop victim blaming.
00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:44.640
If I want to wear a short skirt, that just should not make me a target.
00:22:47.119 --> 00:22:51.680
The thing is, it does not matter what you are wearing, clearly.
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:59.200
Because we have men who assault children and young children who were toddlers.
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:05.440
They weren't wearing anything provocative, they're a fucking child.
00:23:05.759 --> 00:23:07.039
So fuck off.
00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:20.000
Just fuck off with that attitude.
00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:21.839
It does not matter what she was wearing.
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:23.119
Does not matter at all.
00:23:23.359 --> 00:23:24.319
None of that.
00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:26.319
None of that matters.
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:28.880
It does matter is what you do.
00:23:31.680 --> 00:23:36.960
For the very few men who have not been pieces of shit and been like stepping up.
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:38.079
Thank you.
00:23:39.039 --> 00:23:40.960
You're few and far between.
00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:49.279
Few and far between.
00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:59.920
You're the women who consistently want to blame other women for what a man did.
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:02.079
What is wrong with you?
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:04.559
Why do you hate yourself?
00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:06.400
Why do you hate other women?
00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:09.119
Did something happen to make you feel this way?
00:24:10.079 --> 00:24:11.759
Because it's not okay.
00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:19.519
It's just not.
00:24:23.279 --> 00:24:25.039
It's very exhausting.
00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:35.839
Extremely exhausting to know
that all of this is still happening and this is still just reality of our life.
00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:48.559
I hope this the the feminine rage is legit.
00:24:50.400 --> 00:25:03.200
Because we're freaking sick and tired of getting blamed for what happens to us when it is not our fault that the men suck.
00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:06.960
And there's this really great great quote.
00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:09.200
My mom and me started watching.
00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:12.400
I don't know if y'all have ever watched Designing Women.
00:25:21.839 --> 00:25:24.960
She's got this quaint great quote.
00:25:35.359 --> 00:25:37.039
She says, I love men.
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:39.759
I love this one, but I cannot ignore history.
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:49.039
History has shown that in general, that it has been the men who have done the raping and the robbing and the killing and the warmongerin' for the last two thousand years.
00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:54.640
It has been the men who have done the pillaging and the beheading, the subjecting of whole races into slavery.
00:25:54.799 --> 00:25:59.359
It has been the men who have done the lawmaking and the money making and most of the mischief making.
00:25:59.599 --> 00:26:05.039
So if the world isn't quite what you had in mind, you have only yourselves to think.
00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:29.039
The fact that they addressed it at all is amazing.
00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:35.119
But I love that line because when you think about all of the shit that's going on, not just Cornell.
00:26:35.519 --> 00:26:37.440
It's there's so much going on.
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:40.640
That's another episode, but there's a lot going on.
00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:42.319
Who's been the issue?
00:26:42.559 --> 00:26:43.759
Who's done it?
00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:50.400
I mean, I've said this before, but look at who our president is.
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:51.359
Come on.
00:26:51.519 --> 00:26:53.519
Look at who our president is.
00:26:53.839 --> 00:26:56.240
And all of the shit that's happened.
00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:03.759
There's just a laugh.
00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:07.839
Think about how you can help.
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:14.559
I think it's just a matter of talking and making stuff like this and getting that out there.
00:27:14.799 --> 00:27:20.880
Justice for Jane Doe and for every woman who's ever been in that situation.
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:23.200
I think they're right.
00:27:23.440 --> 00:27:25.359
Close all the fraternities.
00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:36.400
Because clearly they don't offer anything to society other than rape.
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:40.319
Maybe one day it'll get better.
00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:42.799
Maybe one day it won't.
00:27:43.119 --> 00:27:48.079
But I think talking about it and making it known, I think that does help.
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:52.079
So, sorry for the heavy topic today.
00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:54.720
That's all.
00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:56.000
Thank you for listening.
00:27:56.240 --> 00:28:00.880
If you have not ever watched Designing with Women, you should definitely watch it.
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:03.039
I think it'll make you feel better.