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Hello and welcome to Courage and Spice for Coaches, where you build your self-belief and your business in under 30 minutes a week.
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I'm Sass Petherick, your host.
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I'm a coach, supervisor, and unapologetic self-belief nerd.
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My mission is simple.
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I want your coaching practice to feel like a ripe fucking peach.
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Let's go.
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Hello, hello.
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I'm excited to talk to you today about how we get things done without feeling like we should be optimizing every single freaking second.
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I don't know about you, it feels to me like AI has created this increased level of urgency on top of this already quite weird fetishization of doing everything faster or more efficiently.
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And it all just feels a bit like we're being gaslit by big productivity.
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Like, what the hell are we all doing?
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So I wanted to talk a bit more about my desire, which I think we share, which is for a really full, rich life, one that includes a successful coaching business, but is not completely consumed by it.
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And I think this is something we don't talk about enough as self-employed coaches.
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Like, how do we do that?
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Because if we want businesses that are impactful and profitable and sustainable, which I think you and I do, then the way that we take care of ourselves, like the way we do things, really, really matters.
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So I wanted this to be super practical and you know actionable.
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Uh, I'm gonna share five really practical approaches that have helped me to kind of stay on track with getting so much done, but in a way that deeply supports my ultimate goal of a pretty simple business that's full of meaning and joy.
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Which trust me, I I've if I was listening to this about two years ago, I just would have switched off right now because I didn't think that was possible.
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But I wanted to talk to well to start really with how I'm actually measuring success these days.
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Because if it's not just about the money or the efficiency, the productivity, then you know what is the measure of success?
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And for me, it's really, really simple.
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Do I feel proud of myself when I get into bed each night?
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And this is a thing I've done semi intentionally since I got sober about 16 years ago.
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Like I started noticing maybe six months in that I wasn't having as many kind of hyper-self-critical, shamey thoughts all the time.
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Like being sober for me meant I wasn't engaging in kind of problematic behavior to try and manage social anxiety.
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I was just much more present and awake to myself.
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And I've realized after a while, oh, I'm I'm just not feeling shame anymore.
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Like at the time that felt completely miraculous.
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And I also have noticed, like, when I started taking strength training really seriously about 18 months ago, I was having that same feeling, like getting into bed, just knowing, oh, I kept my promises to myself today.
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I got my steps in, or I, you know, ate enough protein or went to the gym or whatever, whatever it was.
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And this is now starting to be noticeable again more recently as I'm actually starting to write, right?
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Keeping that promise to myself.
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Um, so five days in a row now, I have spent the first hour of the day working on my book proposal that I drafted a few years ago, but for long, long, boring reasons, never took forward.
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And it is starting to slowly take shape now.
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So to me, this feeling of do I feel proud of myself when I get into bed each night, it actually does have some like science behind it, some research behind it.
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Um, I was chatting with Laura Bernard about this this week because she's all about midlife joy.
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And um I interviewed her on the podcast a few weeks ago.
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Definitely go check that out.
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But Laura and I were talking about the difference between um hedonic joy and eudaimonic joy.
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So eudaimonic joy is really rich and grounded, it's a sense of joy that's actually connected to values and purpose and meaning.
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Whereas hedonic joy is a bit more immediate, it's usually connected to something outside of ourselves, it's quite momentary, and it's hedonic joy is connected to a kind of person, place, or thing.
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It usually comes from outside of us, whereas eudaimonic joy is much more internal, right?
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So it's about how that sort of sense of satisfaction.
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I'm living in a way that feels good to me.
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So that is my measure of success, and I know like every day you're measuring success.
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I don't know, there's something about that Annie Dillard quote, um, you know, how we spend our life is actually how we spend our days, that keeps coming up for me when I think about that.
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So that could be a great way to just get curious about your own experience each day.
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Are you feeling good when you get into bed?
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And if not, why not?
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And what might you need to, you know, maybe try gently, differently tomorrow, right?
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So the thing is that for me, this feels quite miraculous, just that I'm measuring joy by how I feel, or measuring success by how I feel, right?
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Longtime listeners might know I'm definitely an overfunctioner.
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I'm sort of feel like a recovering overfunctioner, and I'm learning how to take care of myself and my goals without kind of falling into that overworking trap and just adding more in.
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I'm learning how to bring simple and fun into my days.
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Um, and when I made a really conscious decision to go all in on supporting coaches just over a year ago, I remember writing down in my journal, I want a really boring business.
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And this felt quite dangerous and a bit edgy to admit to myself.
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And in all honesty, at the time I didn't really believe I could do this.
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I thought, oh, it sounds quite good though, you know.
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And and I just want to say, like when I was kind of locked in, as the kids say, to my overworking ways, I was honestly a bit afraid of slowing down.
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Um, I I was pretty convinced that momentum was my go-go juice, and if I stopped, I'd just end up like on the sofa covered in Dorito dust.
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I think I was also a bit worried about what what might come up if I just gave myself some space.
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Like the idea of having white space in my calendar, I I back then would have said, well, that's just lazy.
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I know, I know how that sounds.
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The second thing I want to say, like, just to give all of these um kind of approaches some context, is I don't have kids.
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And I have heard that they do take up quite a bit of time, right?
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I mean, the unconditional love for sure, but also the endless noise, right?
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So I I just really want to acknowledge that, right?
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We might have quite different demands on our time, different resources, different responsibilities.
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But I do think we share this additional challenge that the muggles don't have, which is we have to generate our own momentum and make our own decisions and hold ourselves accountable, keep promises to ourselves.
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Like no one's gonna check our homework, right?
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And so I think if you do have a tendency for overwork, sometimes that can just feel like the safest way to keep everything moving.
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But what I'm learning is that there, and equally, I think if you're finding that you're a bit frozen and kind of underfunctioning, that can sort of feel like the safest way to avoid whatever risks you think might occur if you know you do the thing.
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So, all to say, like there are these additional challenges that I think we share.
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And what I'm trying to learn is new ways of holding a bit of both, right?
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And I think what I'm finding is that when you have space and energy and joy, it is so much easier to access creativity and inspiration and presence, and that changes how we show up in our businesses, how we show up to our clients.
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So, all to say, like these five things are making a real difference for me.
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Take whatever feels helpful.
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I'm I'm here for all of it.
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So the first thing is um BAMs.
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So I have this practice of weekly BAMs.
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BAMS is an acronym, it stands for the bare ass minimums, and it's just two tasks that I try to complete each week, and I write them down for myself on a Monday and I keep them in my line of sight.
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My BAMs are usually admin that I tend to avoid or the thing that feels a bit overwhelming to start, and I'm amazed at what I can do in a sort of 20-minute work block.
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Like, if it's an overwhelming thing, I can make a good start and maybe just plan out what I need to do, whatever it takes to reduce that sense of overwhelm.
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And I don't know about you, but have you ever just put off something for weeks, maybe months, and then when you finally come around to do it, it takes about 12 minutes and you're like, what was I doing?
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That is what BAM's help me address.
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It is so helpful for that feeling of almost like I've all I'm always behind, I've always got things to do, because I'm making progress every week.
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So I would just say if there's an email you've been putting off, or there's a follow-up with a potential client, or you're making a you've got to make a decision.
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Like the point is isn't with a BAM to kind of lower your ambition, it's to make that action that's needed feel possible.
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So like put put it on your list and do it.
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Keep that promise to yourself.
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And the other part of this is about taking imperfect action, which I think works hand in hand with your BAMs, right?
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Um, the bare ass minimum, take imperfect action.
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So this is really how I became a gym person.
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Like I just took away that self-imposed deadline of where I wanted to get to by a specific date, and it has freed me up to just take imperfect action.
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And how can I move my body today, now, imperfectly?
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And I cannot tell you how many half-assed gym sessions I've done where I maybe did half the workout that was on my plan.
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And now I look back and go, Oh, yeah, but I did that like 30 times over the last 18 months.
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It was totally enough.
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Because I think imperfect action really builds self-trust through evidence, evidence that you can do something that's a good enough job, rather than waiting to feel confident and like it's all gonna be perfect and all of that jazz.
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And right now, that imperfect action is um is working for me in that I'm revisiting this book proposal after like almost eight years of wanting to write, I'm finally doing it.
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And the imperfect action is one hour most mornings.
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I just literally get up, put on my comfy pants, grab a coffee, turn on my headed blanket.
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There's no scrolling, there's no email, there's no AI, it's just me and my writing pad.
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And this feels like it is so helpful to see how those small actions compound over time.
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So, all I would say is if this feels like something you you really need, if you do have a bit of a perfectionist streak and if you're kind of waiting to feel ready or to know that it's all going to be fine, small actions compound over time.
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Like, get that tattooed.
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So it's the offer that probably doesn't need another three months of polishing because it's an invitation you could make today, or the content you could share before you feel like you've got the perfect hook, right?
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Um, and maybe you do miss something, like totally that's gonna happen.
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Like, I have sent out emails that maybe didn't have the right day in them, or we're missing a Zoom link, right?
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Trust me, you can recover from that.
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Equally, I have also over-prepared workshops that you know, when I open them up and ask everyone a kind of question at the start to sort of check in with everybody, was so clear they did not need some kind of polished performance, they just needed presence and perspective.
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Like, sorry for all those peas.
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But but how many of us do that, you know, where we just over-prepare and add more things in, and it just takes a hell of a lot longer.
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And meanwhile, all the lessons you get from that evidence that you can do this
without having to over, over, overdo it, you you're missing out on all of that.
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So I I think the third thing that I want to share is the Pareto principle, which you've probably heard of.
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This is the thing that really makes a difference.
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Like it's it's basically the 80-20 rule that a relatively small proportion of our efforts often produce the largest proportion of our results, right?
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So you know what actually makes the difference is I for me, this is the distinction between being busy and being um doing meaningful work, right?
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Doing busy work versus doing meaningful work.
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And you know, I I I'm I I've discovered this week, I got a little badge from my podcast host to say that the podcast has had 25,000 downloads.
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And that feels pretty momentous given that I've I've revamped the podcast alongside my business to specifically focus on coaches, and I've just been able to show up consistently because supporting you is jam-packed for me, full of that you eudaimic joy.
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And so it this isn't really about the number, right?
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It's about evidence of what can happen when you focus your energy on something that means something to you.
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It's a joy, it's easy to keep showing up.
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So there is this really cool maths that goes alongside this that the demon the law of diminishing returns.
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So more effort doesn't produce proportionately more value.
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And we know this, like if you walk 5,000 steps a day, you get 80% of the benefits of walking 10,000 steps, right?
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There's only actually a tiny uplift in benefits after 8,000 steps.
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So the way to think about this for you is what might you stop doing because the additional effort isn't worth what it costs you, right?
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You it you're getting diminishing returns from that.
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So can you just do 80% and go from there, right?
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Number four is work with yourself, not against yourself, which I know sounds captain freaking obvious, but I am really playing with this at the moment.
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Like my calendar for November, I'm I've been playing with this all year, but I'm getting really kind of a little bit more concert of a concerted effort is going into this where I find constant task switching leaves me feeling really scattered and like I'm doing everything in a half-assed way.
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So I have now got dedicated whole days to specific kinds of work.
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So I have two full coaching days where you know I can happily take in back-to-back clients because I'm not doing anything else.
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Um, I have one day where I'm I'm just updating all of the self-belief coaching academy teaching videos, and so that one day is dedicated to all of that.
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They're quite short videos, it's like they're like 10 to 20 minutes, maybe half an hour max, but I've got one day devoted to that, one that's a content creation day where I try and write my newsletter and think about social media posts and you know ideas for the podcast, and that's enough to run my business.
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And it also gives me an overflow day for whatever is needed.
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So if a client voxes me and says, Hey, can we meet up this week?
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Like, would that be possible?
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My answer is almost 100% yes, which feels amazing, right?
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To have that free day.
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It also means like my best mate just sent me a WhatsApp this morning saying, Hey, can I borrow your muscles?
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Because I've bought a bookshelf on Facebook Marketplace and I need to drive to Oxford to get it.
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So I'm like, yeah, I've got an overflow day next week.
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Can we do it then?
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Pub lunch on the way back.
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Oh my god, the joy of the of anticipating that road trip is fabulous, right?
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Also, how cool is it that I'm the mate that people call to borrow my muscles to move a bookcase, right?
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So, all to say, like this just means this not task switching, this having dedicated days, it means that I have some pre-brook booked time to play with ideas without the pressure to immediately turn it over into something.
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And I know that you know, when I work with myself, not against myself, my best ideas don't tend to arrive when I'm sitting at my desk, right?
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So I have started like taking a question or a problem on a walk with Bodie.
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I I will quite often, I try to leave my phone at home when I do that, but I do often like record ideas as vote voice notes, which is super helpful because I tend to work out what I think as I'm speaking it.
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You might have noticed if you listen to the podcast.
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This is also how I manifest stuff.
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I'll speak it out loud and it takes on a kind of verbal prayer, right?
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It's out loud to the universe.
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Send me this, help me with this, please take this on, please show me what to do, right?
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So, all I would say to take away from this is rather than forcing yourself into someone else's productivity system, like what
would it look like to design your working week around what actually works for you?
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So, can you work with yourself?
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What do you know about the conditions where you do your best work?
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Right.
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The fifth thing is to really get clear for yourself about what productivity even means to you.
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Because, like, really what I'm challenging about the whole idea of optimization here is that I don't actually want to spend my life figuring out how to squeeze the maximum productivity out of it.
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Like I I actually want to live it.
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Like not everything I do needs to be useful, not every interest I have needs to become a freaking side hustle.
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Like, not every experience needs to become content.
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I know that's a big one for me, right?
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It kind of is at the moment.
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But I know when I start sort of tapping over into that overworking approach, it just feels like everything is centered around my work.
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And I I know for myself, I start to lose access to my own thoughts and ideas and inspiration, creative thinking, all of that stuff.
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Like when I was thinking on my birthday a few weeks ago now, like what do I want more of this year?
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I really, really want more in real life.
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IRL, I want analog, screenless time, space when I'm not connected to everyone else through the means of the interwebs, right?
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And by the way, I mentioned last week that I started uh that I'd signed up for a six-week writing class at the community center.
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So, firstly, it started this week, and can I just say meeting people you'd never otherwise meet is so good for the soul.
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The teacher is bonkers in kind of the best eccentrically British way.
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Like she several times during our two hours together, she would just cry out in pain randomly, stand up and whack her hip joint back into place.
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Apparently, she has a slippery hip.
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It was mad.
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Um, she also left her phone on and then kept kind of interrupting the class to turn it off.
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It's like, oh I don't want to turn it off in case someone calls you.
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So that all happened.
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And oh my god, you guys, we did this horrifying icebreaker where we had to find we had a list of things we had to tick off.
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Find someone with the same eye colour as you, someone who's lived overseas, someone who can play a musical instrument.
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Oh my Christ.
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And we had to walk around a quite small classroom to sort of shuffle past and meet everybody.
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And then we did some writing, which was cool.
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But then we had to read it out loud.
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Like, oh my god, the whole thing was horrifying and awkward.
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But I did not die.
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I actually could feel my sort of comfort zone expanding in the room.
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And I personally have learnt to really love that feeling.
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Like it's so juicy and stretchy for me.
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And look, I'm I'm probably never gonna see these people again.
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So I'm sort of all in.
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I'm going for the whole six weeks.
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I will report back.
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It's it's proving to be quite a source of joy for me.
00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:39.200
What I love the most is the pleasure of having this experience that just exists for its own sake.
00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:44.400
Like, I mean, this teacher is gonna give me some epic content for sure.
00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:48.799
But it's it's really nothing to do with my business, my work, right?
00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:51.759
And I've added in more things in November.
00:22:51.920 --> 00:23:06.960
Like, since we've come back from the UK, we've discussed uh discovered that Westbury Wildlife Park, which is five minutes up the road, it's this beautiful community resource in the middle of Bristol, and they've put in a cold water swimming pond and a sauna.
00:23:07.279 --> 00:23:08.640
So I'm totally doing that.
00:23:08.799 --> 00:23:10.880
I'm doing a breathwork session.
00:23:11.119 --> 00:23:16.000
I'm obviously going to pick this bookcase up from Oxford because muscles.
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:23.359
Um, and yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is I've figured out what all the white space is for, you guys.
00:23:23.519 --> 00:23:29.920
Like, we just don't have to justify joy by proving that it makes us more productive.
00:23:30.079 --> 00:23:34.319
Like a rich life isn't the reward for building a successful business.
00:23:34.559 --> 00:23:38.160
It's kind of part of why we're doing this, right?
00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:51.279
So, look, it's also a bit of a celebration for me because this is one year since I launched Ripen, my mentoring partnership for self-employed coaches, for thoughtful self-employed coaches.
00:23:51.440 --> 00:24:00.160
And I know this because the first coaches who signed up are now re-signing for another year, which that feeling just never gets old.
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:04.400
Like I am just I'm so filled with excitement about it.
00:24:04.559 --> 00:24:14.799
And I remember a year ago, me had so many reservations about this because oh my god, I don't know if
you've noticed, but there are quite a few kind of business coaches out there.
00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:29.359
But I also knew that, like after I trained as a coaching supervisor, which has shitty branding, but is really centered on how do we take care of ourselves as practitioners so we can be the most effective in our client work.
00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:33.440
I mean, like supervision has absolutely made me the coach I am.
00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:42.720
And it was really clear to me, having understood this sort of behind the curtain of what it means to be a supervisor, what that work involves.
00:24:42.960 --> 00:24:51.359
To me, it was so obviously the kind of leadership training that self-employed and self-employed coaches who were often working alone and online.
00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:54.640
I felt like this was the secret source for me.
00:24:54.720 --> 00:24:58.799
And I really wanted to create this space where you can ripen your leadership.
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:00.480
See what you see what I did there?
00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:09.119
Like really claim your coaching medicine, develop these client-centered outcome-based offers that are such an easy yes for your clients.
00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:13.759
And this, if I was gonna do this, it had to work for you and for me.
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:19.599
So things like you can join anytime, you get mostly one-to-one support.
00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:25.359
It's specific and tailored to you, it's around your self-belief and your business.
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:35.599
So, not it's not just about like how to feel okay, being a bit more biz visible, but also the wordsmithing of your copy with you, right?
00:25:35.759 --> 00:25:40.720
And if you want more camaraderie, there are group get-togethers each month, there are workshops.
00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:46.319
Like we had one in-person day in Dublin in October, it was epic.
00:25:46.799 --> 00:25:53.359
But the most important part of this for me was I had to do it in a way that worked for me, that didn't burn me out.
00:25:53.440 --> 00:25:56.720
And this is where these approaches have all come in.
00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:09.039
And the thing is that like a year after Ripen opened, I'm getting into bed at night these days, well, for months, really, feeling happily spent, right?
00:26:09.279 --> 00:26:12.640
So I'm calling this first year of Ripen a total win.
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:24.559
And I absolutely bloody love seeing coaches like sell out their one-to-one practices, successfully launch their group programs that have been, you know, sitting in notes folders for years, right?
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:30.880
For sure, that's amazing, but it's more about how we are doing it.
00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:36.799
Like, there's 25 coaches in Ripen, and it's how we're doing it that feels so rich to me, right?
00:26:36.880 --> 00:26:38.640
And so I want this for you too.
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:43.680
Like, I really want to encourage you to ask yourself, what do you want more of?
00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:47.359
What makes a successful life to you?
00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:57.599
You know, and if you are tempted to listen to the diary of a CEO, like, can you come back to this question of like what are you optimizing for?
00:26:57.839 --> 00:27:08.000
I I think we can build profitable, impactful, really sustainable businesses without making work the center of our entire existence.
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:12.079
And look, if you want some support to do this, get in touch.
00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:22.559
I have three places available for ripen to start now, which is perfect if you want to get going in 2027 with a really clear, compelling coaching offer.
00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:32.960
Like it would be a total joy for me to help you create the business you've been dreaming of and in a way that fits into your big, full, rich life.
00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:36.960
So I hope these uh these ideas are helpful to you.
00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:38.640
Please take whatever you need.
00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:40.559
Get in touch, let's have a chat.
00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:42.799
All right, love, I'll see you next time.