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WEBVTT
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So today we're going to be looking at the interview
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before the attack. So picture this, you're walking through a
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dimly lit parking garage at night, cold, quiet, nobody around.
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Suddenly some guy walks up and says, hey, you know
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what time it is? Okay, look, normal question. People ask
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for the time every day. No reason to panic, but bang,
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suddenly the vibe changes. You tell him the time, but
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instead of saying thanks and walking away, he steps closer.
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You step back. What does he do? He steps right
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into your space again. You say, hey, I got to run,
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but he keeps talking, peppering you with questions, trying to
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trap you with words. At what point do you realize,
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wait a minute, this isn't just a friendly chat anymore.
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This is what security guys will call the interview. Before
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a bad guy pulls a weapon, grabs you or throws
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a sucker punch, he wants to know, can I take
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this person? Is she going to scream? Is this person
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paying attention or are they a soft target? Literally, they're
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interviewing you. He's checking your posture, seeing if you shrink
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away or freeze up. He wants to know if you're alone,
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if you're distracted, and most importantly, how you react when
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he steps across your line. So don't be paranoid. Not
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every strange person who talks to you is an assassin
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trying to break your neck. Some people are just awkward.
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Others have other reasons for it. But you have to
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watch the behavioral red flags. Take the guy who refuses
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to take no. Hey, my friend, let me use your phone.
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You say, no, sorry, I can't help you. A normal
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person goes, okay, no worries. But this guy, he steps closer.
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Come on. It's just one phone call. What's your problem?
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Now he's cutting off your path. Listen to me. It's
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not about the phone anymore. Who cares about the phone?
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It's about how he reacts when you tell him no.
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If someone won't respect a simple boundary on a small thing,
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what do you think they're going to do on a
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bigger one? Watch the distance. Distance is life. When two
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normal human beings talk, there's an invisible cushion. If I
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step back half a pace, you stay where you are
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or adjust naturally. But if you take a step back
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and this guy immediately crowds your chest, alarm bells should
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be going off in your head. He's testing your boundaries,
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invading your comfort zone to see if you crumble. Or
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he's getting close enough to grab your collar and drop
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an elbow on you. Location changes everything as well. If
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a guy asks you for change in the middle of
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a packed train station at noon with police walking by, okay, annoying,
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but lower threat. But if the exact same guy does
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it at 2 a.m. on an empty subway platform in
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an empty parking lot, no cameras, we've got a whole
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different ballgame. Pay attention to your exits. The biggest rule
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you need to remember and keep it hammered in your head,
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you do not need a guy's permission or a written
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confession to walk away. You don't have to prove he's
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a criminal before you put your hands up and create distance.
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Society trains people to be polite, and there's a place
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for that. I don't want to look rude, you can say.
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I don't want to hurt his feelings. You may ask
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to tell yourself. Forget hurting his feelings. Your safety comes
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first every single day of the week. You may never
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get another chance to be polite again. If your gut
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tells you something is wrong, you don't just stand there
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like a statue smiling. You disengage. You create space. You
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walk toward a lighted storefront, toward a group of people,
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toward safety. Does this mean you walk around glaring at
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everybody like a maniac? No. If you're constantly tense and terrified,
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you wear yourself out and your brain makes stupid decisions.
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Pay attention to the patterns. Does he back off when
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you ask for space? Does he get aggressive the second
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you say no? Is he angling his body to block
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your exit? Forget what the guy looks like or what
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shoes he's wearing. Watch what he does and remember. You
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don't need to square up, drop your chin and scream,
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let's go tough guy. That just invites a fight you
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may not need to have. You may not want to have.
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Be calm. Use an open palm fence. Hey man, back up,
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I can't help you. Firm voice, confident posture, and keep
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moving your feet toward an exit. You'd be surprised how
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far confident posture with a firm voice and an open
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palm can keep them away. I know, could be substance
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use or a lot of other factors, but right now,
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majority of the time, they will walk away unless they
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intended to hurt you. And I love knockouts as much
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as anybody. A clean palm strike to the chin or
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a knee to the groin is fantastic if you're in
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that type of danger. But the absolute best fight in
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the world, bar none, is the one you never had
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to show up for. Spot the interview early. Pass the
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test by showing you're aware, assertive, and not an easy target.
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Don't wait until their fist is an inch from your
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nose to realize you're in a fight.