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Hello everyone and welcome back to the Backstage Huddle.
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I'm your host, Rai, in honor of being in between episodes right now for offstage and on duty.
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Last week we released the 10-minute marriage part one.
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Next week we're releasing the 10-minute marriage part two.
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So in the meantime, I want to offer some encouragement in light of what we've been discussing.
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This week, I want to talk to the person who feels like they're getting the leftovers in their marriage.
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Maybe your spouse is on the road.
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Maybe you're the one on the road.
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Maybe your schedules are completely opposite.
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Maybe you're juggling kids and work and travel and sound checks and bedtime and school and all the things that have to happen just to keep everybody alive.
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And somewhere in the middle of it, you look at the person you love and think, when are we actually supposed to feel married?
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Because sometimes you really only have 10 minutes at a time to connect with that person.
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10 minutes to FaceTime before you go to soundcheck, or 10 minutes after the kids go to bed before one of you falls asleep.
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And I think sometimes we become so discouraged by how little time we have that we accidentally waste the time we do have wishing it were more.
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We tell ourselves, this isn't enough.
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We need a date night, we need a weekend away, we need hours to talk, or we need to get back to how we used to be.
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And some of those things are wonderful.
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Yeah, take the date night.
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Please take a vacation.
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Lock the bedroom door when you get the opportunity.
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But I just want to remind you of something this week.
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Small does not mean insignificant.
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Ten minutes of real connection can matter.
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A two-minute phone call can matter.
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Sending that small text saying, hey, thinking about you really matters.
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Connection isn't always built on big, gigantic, romantic gestures.
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Most of the time it's built on tiny little thoughtful moments.
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And I think it's especially important for marriages whose lives revolve around touring.
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Because if we keep waiting for the perfect conditions to connect, we might be waiting a long time.
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There's always gonna be another show, another sick kid, another school pickup, another flight.
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So maybe the question is, how do we find more time?
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Maybe sometimes the question is, how do we become more intentional with the time we already have?
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And something else I want you to hear.
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If your marriage feels a little disconnected right now, that doesn't automatically mean that something is wrong with your marriage.
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It might just mean you're tired or you're in survival mode.
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Maybe you're simply in a season where connection has to become more intentional.
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So here's your backstage huddle challenge this week.
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When you find yourself only having 10 minutes a day to connect with your spouse after the survival checklist is complete, maybe ask one really intentional question that feels good.
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Maybe it can be what was your high and low for today?
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What made you laugh?
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And then just listen, you don't have to fix anything.
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It doesn't have to turn into some profound marital breakthrough.
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You're simply in the moment and reminding each other, I'm still here, I still see you, we are still us.
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10 minutes won't change your circumstances, but 10 intentional minutes can remind you that underneath all of those responsibilities, you're not just coworkers managing a household.
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Your partners, your friends, your lovers, you're on the same team.
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Don't underestimate the small moments.
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Don't wait for life to slow down before you start reaching for each other.
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Use the 10 minutes.
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Make the phone call, send the text, ask the question, tell them you miss them.
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Laugh about something stupid.
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Tell them you're proud of them.
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Because when we only have 10 minutes, we gotta make them count.
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That's your backstage huddle for this week.
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So I will see you next time.
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Proud of you, Stage Wives.
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You got this.