Dimension X - "The Parade" (Old Time Radio, 1950) の全文書き起こし

00:04:39.100 Well, if the client has a lot of dough to 86 00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:42.600 throw around, a suspense campaign is best. First, you place 87 00:04:42.699 --> 00:04:45.589 ads in the paper saying, watch this space. Then, about 88 00:04:45.610 --> 00:04:48.149 a week later, you run an ad saying XYZ or PDQ, 89 00:04:48.589 --> 00:04:51.730 and you get people guessing what it means. Then, finally, 90 00:04:51.750 --> 00:04:55.410 when you've teased them enough, you bust loose and unveil 91 00:04:55.430 --> 00:04:55.810 the product. 92 00:04:56.829 --> 00:05:03.319 Excellent. Very well, sir. We shall conduct a suspense campaign. 93 00:05:03.870 --> 00:05:07.050 Of course, in this kind of campaign, secrecy is very important. 94 00:05:07.589 --> 00:05:10.050 Once the name of the product leaks out, it spreads 95 00:05:10.110 --> 00:05:13.329 like wildfire and the whole campaign is kerflopple. 96 00:05:13.790 --> 00:05:19.170 Kerflopple. Yes, quite so, quite so. Utmost secrecy. 97 00:05:19.250 --> 00:05:25.949 That's right. You realize, of course, these things cost like crazy. Would, say, 98 00:05:26.170 --> 00:05:29.490 one million dollars cover the expense? Come again? 99 00:05:29.870 --> 00:05:31.829 I said, would one million dollars cover it? 100 00:05:32.899 --> 00:05:38.420 Why, yes, I imagine you did say one million dollars. 101 00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:42.740 I understood that you had handled some very large accounts. 102 00:05:43.300 --> 00:05:45.850 Of course, if this is too big... Oh, not at all, 103 00:05:45.970 --> 00:05:47.670 not at all. As a matter of fact, I seldom 104 00:05:47.750 --> 00:05:48.670 touch anything less. 105 00:05:49.649 --> 00:05:50.430 Right, Oliver? 106 00:05:50.850 --> 00:05:51.029 Huh? 107 00:05:51.329 --> 00:05:53.949 Oh, oh, oh, of course, that's right, Mr. Ryan, absolutely right. 108 00:05:53.990 --> 00:05:58.959 Good. You will begin, then, by saturating the newspapers, the radio, 109 00:05:59.660 --> 00:06:02.019 streetcars with a very simple statement. 110 00:06:02.519 --> 00:06:09.170 What's that? I shall write it for you. The Martians 111 00:06:10.350 --> 00:06:15.730 are coming. Say, that's not a bad teaser. Got that, Oliver? 112 00:06:15.990 --> 00:06:20.310 Yes, sir. The next ad will read, June 1st is 113 00:06:20.370 --> 00:06:21.250 Martian Day. 114 00:06:21.550 --> 00:06:24.750 June 1st is Martian Day. What happens on June 1st? 115 00:06:25.209 --> 00:06:26.449 The parade takes place. 116 00:06:27.089 --> 00:06:27.550 What parade? 117 00:06:28.350 --> 00:06:31.209 I wish you to arrange a parade up Fifth Avenue. 118 00:06:31.790 --> 00:06:33.670 You mean like the Macy Parade? 119 00:06:33.709 --> 00:06:37.970 Exactly. Except that the theme will be the world of tomorrow. 120 00:06:38.769 --> 00:06:40.370 The Martian world. 121 00:06:41.350 --> 00:06:44.410 My client would like it to be a gay affair. 122 00:06:44.629 --> 00:06:50.269 Balloons, clowns, pennants, pretty drum majorettes. 123 00:06:50.290

--> 00:06:53.029 Hey, that sounds terrific. I might be able to interest 124 00:06:53.050 --> 00:06:55.149 the department stores in a tie-in. 125 00:06:55.329 --> 00:06:55.689 Fine. 126 00:06:56.689 --> 00:07:01.769 The parade will climax the campaigns. On June 1st, the 127 00:07:02.560 --> 00:07:04.500 product will be unveiled. 128 00:07:04.660 --> 00:07:07.740 Good enough. By the way, Mr. Lucia, just what is 129 00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:09.399 the product? What are we selling? 130 00:07:09.420 --> 00:07:13.000 Oh, no, Mr. 131 00:07:13.019 --> 00:07:13.579 Ryan. 132 00:07:14.259 --> 00:07:18.560 Secrecy, remember. All will be revealed to you in good. 133 00:07:18.439 --> 00:07:18.910 Time, Mr. 134 00:07:18.949 --> 00:07:19.310 Ryan. 135 00:07:21.149 --> 00:07:25.389 For the moment, let us say we are selling a concept. 136 00:07:26.670 --> 00:07:27.670 A concept? 137 00:07:28.410 --> 00:07:34.939 Precisely. The concept of invasion from Mars. 138 00:07:53.209 --> 00:07:53.970 Benny Marcus, please. 139 00:07:54.350 --> 00:07:55.110 This is Benny. 140 00:07:55.589 --> 00:07:58.610 Benny, this is Sid Ryan over at Publicity Associates. Listen, Benny, 141 00:07:58.629 --> 00:07:59.410 how you fixed for midgets? 142 00:07:59.810 --> 00:08:00.449 I got midgets. 143 00:08:00.569 --> 00:08:03.019 Fine. I need 40 midgets for a parade. 144 00:08:03.019 --> 00:08:03.759 40. 145 00:08:03.759 --> 00:08:06.819 June 1st. And listen, Benny, I want them dressed in 146 00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:08.160 little space suits. 147 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:09.300 What? 148 00:08:09.500 --> 00:08:12.459 You know, like men from Mars, okay? 149 00:08:13.680 --> 00:08:14.000 Midgets. 150 00:08:14.439 --> 00:08:16.689 And I want some movie extras, maybe 50 of them. 151 00:08:17.329 --> 00:08:20.129 Also rigged up like men from Mars. Make them look gruesome. 152 00:08:20.490 --> 00:08:24.180 Got that? Gross. Also, I need some horses with pretty 153 00:08:24.220 --> 00:08:26.019 girls on top of them. Maybe you can get that 154 00:08:26.079 --> 00:08:28.980 bunch from Moroni's Traveling Circus, the ones we booked for 155 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:30.620 the fireman's parade in Albany last year. 156 00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:31.779 I'll try, sir. 157 00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:35.730 And never mind the expense. Just get me the talent, okay? 158 00:08:37.429 --> 00:08:40.750 I gotta hang up now. Call me back, Benny. How 159 00:08:40.769 --> 00:08:42.950 you doing, Oliver? Oh, fine, Mr. Ryan, just fine. 160 00:08:42.970 --> 00:08:45.879 We got full-page ads in all the dailies and ten-second 161 00:08:45.909 --> 00:08:48.100 spot announcements on every local station. 162 00:08:48.500 --> 00:08:51.440 It's costing a fortune. The more it costs, the bigger 163 00:08:51.519 --> 00:08:55.100 our percentage. Spend like you are going to the electric chair, Oliver. 164 00:08:55.220 --> 00:08:55.799 Yes, sir. 165 00:08:56.139 --> 00:08:57.559 How you making out on the parade? 166 00:08:57.639 --> 00:08:59.480 If it comes off, it'll be the biggest thing since 167 00:08:59.539 --> 00:09:03.549 Barnum invented the midget. I've got maces, gimbals, and sacks 168 00:09:03.590 --> 00:09:06.909 to contribute floats. Everything is built around the Martian theme, see? 169 00:09:07.470 --> 00:09:10.080 Even the horses will have long feelers attached to them 170 00:09:10.120 --> 00:09:15.240 and funny-looking extra legs. It'll be sensational. Oh, yeah, yeah, 171 00:09:15.259 --> 00:09:17.340 it sounds fine, only, uh... Only what? 172 00:09:18.279 --> 00:09:18.509 Oh, Mr. 173 00:09:18.580 --> 00:09:21.779 Ryan, we don't even know what we're selling. Oliver, my boy, 174 00:09:21.799 --> 00:09:24.110 do you think old Sid Ryan has been sitting here 175 00:09:24.129 --> 00:09:27.690 spending all this moolah and not putting two and two together? 176 00:09:27.889 --> 00:09:31.909 You mean you know who Lushar represents? Just by accident, understand? 177 00:09:31.990 --> 00:09:34.750 I have learned that Century Pictures is making a big 178 00:09:34.929 --> 00:09:40.429 new epic. A space opera entitled Invasion from Mars. 179 00:09:40.870 --> 00:09:41.139 Get it? 180 00:09:42.049 --> 00:09:46.200 Oh, oh, I begin to see. Also, by mere coincidence, 181 00:09:46.279 --> 00:09:48.960 it happens to be the premiere sometime around June 1st. 182 00:09:49.460 --> 00:09:50.059 You follow me? 183 00:09:50.100 --> 00:09:50.580 But, Mr. 184 00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:54.750 Ryan, Century has an exclusive contract with New Features Syndicate 185 00:09:54.769 --> 00:09:55.909 for all their publicity. 186 00:09:55.950 --> 00:09:59.370 Suppose Century Pictures doesn't like the way New Features is 187 00:09:59.409 --> 00:09:59.970 handling this. 188 00:10:00.059 --> 00:10:00.340 Stuff. 189 00:10:00.779 --> 00:10:02.460 They want to get out of the contract, but New 190 00:10:02.500 --> 00:10:05.799 Features says no. So they have to get around the contract. 191 00:10:06.370 --> 00:10:10.029 A man named Lucia, a client unknown, starts publicizing the 192 00:10:10.110 --> 00:10:14.649 Martian invasion. Need I go further? Oh, I get it, Mr. 193 00:10:14.710 --> 00:10:15.070 Ryan. 194 00:10:15.789 --> 00:10:15.929 Gee. 195 00:10:16.840 --> 00:10:19.529 I suppose I should have thought of that. No, Oliver, 196 00:10:19.549 --> 00:10:33.399 that's what I like about you. You're so innocent. Let 197 00:10:33.419 --> 00:10:35.620 me talk to Commissioner Patrick, please. Sid Ryan. 198 00:10:37.100 --> 00:10:37.659 Hello? 199 00:10:37.980 --> 00:10:39.480 Commish, Sid Ryan. 200 00:10:39.940 --> 00:10:40.580 Oh, it's you. 201 00:10:41.620 --> 00:10:42.639 Well, what is it this time? 202 00:10:43.210 --> 00:10:45.090 If you want to drop a man off the Empire 203 00:10:45.110 --> 00:10:48.230 State Building into a teacup full of water, the answer 204 00:10:48.309 --> 00:10:49.409 is no. 205 00:10:49.830 --> 00:10:52.250 Also, we are not arresting any fan dancers. 206 00:10:52.350 --> 00:10:54.889 You know I

don't handle fan dancers. I want a 207 00:10:54.909 --> 00:10:57.649 permit for a parade, June 1st, Fifth Avenue. It's a Sunday. 208 00:10:57.669 --> 00:10:58.250 There's no traffic. 209 00:10:58.379 --> 00:10:59.129 Oh, come now. Look. 210 00:10:59.649 --> 00:11:02.279 Macy's gets a permit. Gimbel's gets a permit. The American 211 00:11:02.340 --> 00:11:05.019 Legion gets a permit. The Sons of Aaron march every 212 00:11:05.059 --> 00:11:07.899 time Morton Downey sings the Word of the Green. Don't 213 00:11:07.960 --> 00:11:11.059 give me a hard time, Patrick. This is too big. 214 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:16.159 I have the Fifth Avenue Merchants Association behind me. 215 00:11:16.419 --> 00:11:17.299 Okay, Ryan. 216 00:11:17.539 --> 00:11:18.399 Fill out the forms. 217 00:11:18.519 --> 00:11:20.360 I'll pass them along to the license commissioner. 218 00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:21.259 That's my boy. 219 00:11:21.340 --> 00:11:23.220 Oh, by the way, what's the occasion? 220 00:11:23.500 --> 00:11:27.120 Oh, don't you read the papers, Patrick? June 1st is 221 00:11:27.220 --> 00:11:28.240 Martian Day. 222 00:11:38.950 --> 00:11:41.149 Well, Mr. Ryan, how is the campaign going? 223 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:45.120 Like fire, Mr. Lushar, like fire. Everybody and his brother 224 00:11:45.139 --> 00:11:48.539 is going along with the gang. Yesterday, we distributed 50,000 225 00:11:48.539 --> 00:11:52.200 Martian hats to school kids. I even arranged for Commissioner 226 00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:56.350 Patrick to accept a $ 50, 000 check for the policeman's benevolent 227 00:11:56.389 --> 00:12:03.779 fund from the man from Mars. Excellent. I, um, I 228 00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:07.809 understand Century Pictures spent over a million bucks making that 229 00:12:07.830 --> 00:12:08.409 space opera? 230 00:12:09.009 --> 00:12:09.529 I beg your pardon? 231 00:12:09.970 --> 00:12:11.129 Oh, calm, calm, Mr. 232 00:12:11.169 --> 00:12:11.590 Lucia. 233 00:12:12.090 --> 00:12:15.330 Sid Ryan wasn't born yesterday, you know. I know who 234 00:12:15.429 --> 00:12:17.629 our client is, even if you don't admit it. 235 00:12:17.769 --> 00:12:18.129 You do? 236 00:12:18.690 --> 00:12:19.950 Always thinking that's me. 237 00:12:20.169 --> 00:12:23.409 Well, as long as you know, let's keep it to ourselves, 238 00:12:23.529 --> 00:12:24.049 shall we, Mr. 239 00:12:24.129 --> 00:12:24.570 Ryan? 240 00:12:25.230 --> 00:12:27.889 As you once remarked, when these things leak out. 241 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:32.830 It destroys the surprise and ruins the effectiveness of the campaign. 242 00:12:41.350 --> 00:12:48.750 Ladies and gentlemen, this is Ron Heilerman speaking to you 243 00:12:48.769 --> 00:12:51.330 from our portable transmitter atop the reviewing stand for the 244 00:12:51.370 --> 00:12:53.529 much-heralded Martian Parade on Fifth Avenue. 245 00:12:54.750 --> 00:12:56.049 It's a beautiful sunlit. 246 00:12:55.750 --> 00:12:56.620 Day here in New York. 247 00:12:57.360 --> 00:12:58.600 Perfect day for a parade. 248 00:12:59.299 --> 00:13:02.360 And the streets are packed with thousands of spectators, all 249 00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:04.960 eager to find out what this is all about. There's 250 00:13:04.980 --> 00:13:07.639 an air of shrill expectancy. 251 00:13:07.700 --> 00:13:10.379 Come on, over. 252 00:13:12.470 --> 00:13:16.110 Here! Okay, tell them all right. 253 00:13:16.309 --> 00:13:18.230 I just had word from Sol Brown up at Central 254 00:13:18.250 --> 00:13:21.190 Park Mall that the Martians have landed from Big Pink Balloons. 255 00:13:22.009 --> 00:13:24.070 And while we're waiting here for the arrival of the parade, 256 00:13:24.090 --> 00:13:26.149 we brought some people up to our microphone to tell 257 00:13:26.169 --> 00:13:30.159 you their reactions to this spectacular affair. 258 00:13:30.179 --> 00:13:31.200 What's your name, madam? 259 00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:32.259 Miss Ada Shackley. 260 00:13:32.360 --> 00:13:33.360 A little louder, please. 261 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:34.899 Miss Ada Shackley. 262 00:13:34.980 --> 00:13:36.019 And where are you from, Mrs. 263 00:13:36.039 --> 00:13:37.100 Shackley? 264 00:13:37.379 --> 00:13:38.419 Columbus, Ohio. 265 00:13:38.480 --> 00:13:38.840 I see. 266 00:13:39.220 --> 00:13:39.600 Mama. 267 00:13:39.720 --> 00:13:41.519 I see you have your family with you. Two little 268 00:13:41.590 --> 00:13:44.830 curly-headed boys. Are you in New York for your vacation? 269 00:13:44.850 --> 00:13:47.649 Yeah, we came for the Shriners Convention with their daddy. 270 00:13:47.669 --> 00:13:48.139 Well, uh. 271 00:13:48.490 --> 00:13:50.309 What do you think of Martian Day, Mrs. 272 00:13:50.350 --> 00:13:50.730 Shackley? 273 00:13:50.789 --> 00:13:53.610 Well, it all seems very strange to me, but the 274 00:13:53.629 --> 00:13:55.639 boys have been pestering me to watch it, so we've 275 00:13:55.659 --> 00:13:57.000 been standing here for two hours. 276 00:13:57.340 --> 00:13:59.179 I can't make head or tail of it. Well, neither 277 00:13:59.200 --> 00:14:00.320 can a lot of other people, Mrs. 278 00:14:00.360 --> 00:14:02.759 Shackley, but judging by the thousands here already, there's a 279 00:14:02.799 --> 00:14:03.600 lot of curiosity. 280 00:14:03.830 --> 00:14:06.429 Curiosity killed a cat, folks say. 281 00:14:06.450 --> 00:14:06.950 Let's hope not. 282 00:14:08.259 --> 00:14:08.679 Thank you, Mrs. 283 00:14:08.830 --> 00:14:09.269 Shackley. 284 00:14:09.330 --> 00:14:13.629 And now, here's the... Here they come, ladies and gentlemen. 285 00:14:13.909 --> 00:14:16.330 The first units of the big Martian parade swinging down 286 00:14:16.350 --> 00:14:22.580 Fifth Avenue. Fanfare, colored streamers, music, confetti, floats, all the 287 00:14:22.620 --> 00:14:24.200 trashies of a Mardi Gras. 288 00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:26.039 Let's listen to the band for a minute. 289 00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:34.500 Here in the vanguard, the whole group of little midgets 290

00:14:34.620 --> 00:14:38.919 in weird-looking pink and blue spacesuits carrying Rube Goldberg weapons 291 00:14:38.960 --> 00:14:40.860 with signs painted on them. 292 00:14:41.299 --> 00:14:44.539 I can read one which says, Atomic Blaster. Another has 293 00:14:44.600 --> 00:14:50.720 a placard reading, We're marching through Georgia. And here come 294 00:14:50.740 --> 00:14:53.159 the clowns, laughing and falling. 295 00:14:52.899 --> 00:14:55.580 All over each other. They're giving free sugar candy to 296 00:14:55.600 --> 00:14:56.460 the kids along the way. 297 00:14:57.789 --> 00:15:00.490 Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there's a happy, laughing crowd along 298 00:15:00.529 --> 00:15:03.909 Fifth Avenue today. A true reflection of the great sense 299 00:15:03.950 --> 00:15:06.190 of humor and good nature that makes America the place 300 00:15:06.250 --> 00:15:06.509 it is. 301 00:15:07.080 --> 00:15:07.509 Why, only. 302 00:15:09.860 --> 00:15:10.149 What's this? 303 00:15:10.200 --> 00:15:14.059 The crowd's murmuring now. They've fallen somewhat silent. There's something coming. 304 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:14.899 I'll try to get it for you. 305 00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:15.720 What? 306 00:15:17.600 --> 00:15:22.220 Oh, ladies and gentlemen, here comes the Martian contingent. This 307 00:15:22.299 --> 00:15:25.379 is promised at the climax of the show. And now 308 00:15:25.460 --> 00:15:28.470 a great hush has fallen over the crowd. It's quite 309 00:15:28.509 --> 00:15:31.610 a sight to see these thousands of people standing here expectantly, 310 00:15:32.129 --> 00:15:35.000 hearing only the great regular sigh of their mass breathing. 311 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:42.340 Now here they come, ladies and gentlemen. The Martians, marching 312 00:15:42.379 --> 00:15:46.740 in booted, helmeted ranks, row after row. This is an 313 00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:50.259 impressive sight, ladies and gentlemen. And a rather serious contrast 314 00:15:50.279 --> 00:15:53.039 to the rest of the joyous slapstick parade we've been. 315 00:15:52.919 --> 00:15:53.750 Witnessing up and now. 316 00:15:54.820 --> 00:15:58.399 There are perhaps, oh, 200 tall, broad-chested men dressed in 317 00:15:58.419 --> 00:16:02.149 metallic gray spacesuits with thick glass visors drawn across their faces. 318 00:16:03.049 --> 00:16:05.889 Each one's holding an ominous-looking ray gun at the ready position, 319 00:16:07.330 --> 00:16:11.549 marching in absolute silence, moving steps perfectly as though some mute, 320 00:16:11.710 --> 00:16:15.360 unspoken command were marking time for them. Even the children 321 00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:19.139 are awed by the unexpected warlike realism of the Martian legion. 322 00:16:21.250 --> 00:16:23.700 And now the first ranks of the Martians move past us, 323 00:16:24.159 --> 00:16:26.600 down Fifth Avenue, toward the reviewing stands at the square. 324 00:16:28.460 --> 00:16:29.059 No one moves. 325 00:16:32.740 --> 00:16:33.080 A woman. 326 00:16:33.460 --> 00:16:35.450 A woman, ladies and gentlemen, just dashed out into the street. 327 00:16:35.590 --> 00:16:38.070 For what reason, I don't know. She just slipped through 328 00:16:38.090 --> 00:16:41.570 the police cordon somehow. They're after her now. But she's 329 00:16:41.610 --> 00:16:43.490 already reached the ranks of the marchers, and she's trying 330 00:16:43.509 --> 00:16:45.389 to lift the visor of one of the Martian space teams. 331 00:16:47.629 --> 00:16:48.049 She's fallen. 332 00:16:48.570 --> 00:16:49.429 She screamed and then. 333 00:16:49.330 --> 00:16:50.690 Fell forward in a dead faint. 334 00:16:50.769 --> 00:16:54.419 The Martian column keeps right on coming. Unless they break ranks, 335 00:16:54.440 --> 00:16:55.220 they're going to trample her. 336 00:16:56.039 --> 00:16:58.460 No, no, no. The policemen have got her now. They're 337 00:16:58.500 --> 00:16:59.200 dragging her away. 338 00:16:59.659 --> 00:17:00.120 Out of the way. 339 00:17:01.230 --> 00:17:02.090 Trying to revive her now. 340 00:17:02.769 --> 00:17:03.350 What's that? 341 00:17:05.160 --> 00:17:07.319 All sorts of rumors have begun filtering back through the crowd. 342 00:17:07.460 --> 00:17:10.619 Some are even whispering that the woman's dead. We don't 343 00:17:10.660 --> 00:17:13.099 know yet, but whatever's happened, the incident seems to have 344 00:17:13.720 --> 00:17:15.839 cast a slight shadow over the mood of the crowd. 345 00:17:16.799 --> 00:17:20.079 Carefree holiday air seems to have vanished, the crowd stirring uneasily. 346 00:17:20.099 --> 00:17:23.079 A little disturbed of what we've just seen. 347 00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:25.180 Nothing to be alarmed at, however. 348 00:17:25.259 --> 00:17:27.839 It just seems a shame that anything like this should 349 00:17:27.900 --> 00:17:30.200 happen to spoil our enjoyment of the Martian parade. 350 00:17:44.119 --> 00:17:46.859 Dimension X will continue in just a moment. 351 00:17:48.579 --> 00:17:50.420 It's National Wheaties Week. 352 00:17:50.920 --> 00:17:51.960 I want to take that again, Frank. 353 00:17:52.200 --> 00:17:52.599 Oh, sure. 354 00:17:53.400 --> 00:17:57.769 It's National Wheaties Week, and we're celebrating. And that voice 355 00:17:57.809 --> 00:18:00.390 you heard belongs to my severest critic, who is here 356 00:18:00.430 --> 00:18:03.549 to help us celebrate tonight. He's the fellow who's backstage 357 00:18:03.569 --> 00:18:05.890 when I'm telling you about the Wheaties. He listens to 358 00:18:05.910 --> 00:18:08.750 see that I tell you right. Wheaties' best friend, next 359 00:18:08.789 --> 00:18:12.069 to me, Blaine Butcher. I think you took that introduction 360 00:18:12.089 --> 00:18:12.890 a little fast, Frank. 361 00:18:13.670 --> 00:18:17.170 You see what I mean, folks? Seriously, Blaine, you say 362 00:18:17.230 --> 00:18:20.490 the Wheaties words once. Okay, all I'll say is this. 363 00:18:21.069 --> 00:18:23.210 Those of us who tell the Wheaties story

believe what 364 00:18:23.230 --> 00:18:26.109 we say. And during National Wheaties Week, the good word 365 00:18:26.170 --> 00:18:28.430 is this. Get a package of Wheaties and try them 366 00:18:28.450 --> 00:18:30.890 just once. I'll be right behind you in line at 367 00:18:30.910 --> 00:18:33.190 your grocers between you and Frank Martin. 368 00:18:33.630 --> 00:18:34.029 Okay? 369 00:18:34.490 --> 00:18:35.059 Do that now. 370 00:18:35.559 --> 00:18:37.859 Try Wheaties. It's National Wheaties Week. 371 00:18:49.180 --> 00:18:49.380 Mr. 372 00:18:49.420 --> 00:18:50.299 Ryan, did you see that? 373 00:18:50.339 --> 00:18:52.309 A woman fainted. She ran out into the street to 374 00:18:52.329 --> 00:18:54.650 get a close look at the Martians. Then she screamed 375 00:18:54.710 --> 00:18:55.650 and fainted dead away. 376 00:18:55.890 --> 00:18:57.890 I'm well aware of that, Oliver, since I paid her 377 00:18:57.890 --> 00:19:01.710 50 bucks to do it. What? The dramatic moment, Oliver. 378 00:19:01.750 --> 00:19:05.339 The stock and trade of the good publicity man. Relax. 379 00:19:05.880 --> 00:19:08.460 Holy smokes, you sure think of everything. For my share 380 00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:11.559 of this deal, roughly $ 100, 000, I can afford to think 381 00:19:11.579 --> 00:19:14.519 of everything. Shut the window. Okay, but don't you want 382 00:19:14.539 --> 00:19:16.240 to see the finish? We'll go down to the reviewing 383 00:19:16.279 --> 00:19:17.819 stand for the finish. Right now, I want to make 384 00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:20.799 a phone call. By the way, where's Lucia? I haven't 385 00:19:20.839 --> 00:19:22.539 seen him. Well, close the window, Oliver. 386 00:19:22.759 --> 00:19:23.029 Well, I. 387 00:19:24.299 --> 00:19:25.039 Okay, Mr. 388 00:19:25.099 --> 00:19:26.839 Ryan. Oh, dear. 389 00:19:37.619 --> 00:19:39.079 Marcus Tower Agency. 390 00:19:39.140 --> 00:19:40.589 Benny, this is Sid Ryan. 391 00:19:41.029 --> 00:19:42.740 Oh, I say, listen, Sid, I was going to call you. 392 00:19:42.769 --> 00:19:44.509 I'm awful sorry about those Martians. 393 00:19:44.609 --> 00:19:46.769 What do you mean, sorry? They're terrific. 394 00:19:46.809 --> 00:19:48.069 No, don't joke, Sid. I mean it. 395 00:19:48.119 --> 00:19:50.880 Oh, I mean it, too. They're great, great. 396 00:19:51.579 --> 00:19:52.339 Are you in a bag? 397 00:19:52.779 --> 00:19:53.500 Never felt better. 398 00:19:54.500 --> 00:19:55.339 You mean it, don't you? 399 00:19:55.500 --> 00:19:57.539 Of course I mean it. What is this? 400 00:19:58.349 --> 00:19:59.950 There are Martians in the parade? 401 00:20:00.130 --> 00:20:03.089 About 150. Of course, I only ordered 50, but under 402 00:20:03.109 --> 00:20:03.960 the circumstances... Sid! 403 00:20:04.549 --> 00:20:04.900 What is it? 404 00:20:05.089 --> 00:20:06.750 Sid, don't you know I couldn't get you a single 405 00:20:06.789 --> 00:20:09.049 movie extra? There's a studio strike in New York. 406 00:20:09.069 --> 00:20:09.210 Uh-huh. 407 00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:12.640 Wait a minute. Where'd these guys come from if you 408 00:20:12.660 --> 00:20:13.140 didn't hire them? 409 00:20:13.160 --> 00:20:15.460 I don't know. Hold on. Oliver? 410 00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:16.400 Oh, yes, Mr. 411 00:20:16.440 --> 00:20:16.700 Ryan? 412 00:20:16.900 --> 00:20:19.480 Did you hire those Martians? Well, no, sir, I didn't. Benny, 413 00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:21.519 this is on the level, isn't it? 414 00:20:21.720 --> 00:20:22.559 Honest, Sid, I. 415 00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:26.460 Okay, Benny, I'll call you back. What's the matter, Mr. 416 00:20:26.529 --> 00:20:26.829 Ryan? 417 00:20:28.190 --> 00:20:28.609 I don't know. 418 00:20:29.990 --> 00:20:30.529 Just don't know. 419 00:20:32.470 --> 00:20:37.589 Wonder if Lucia hired them. What's Century Pictures' number? Tremaine 4-1000. 420 00:20:37.609 --> 00:20:40.779 Tremaine 4-1000. 421 00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:47.380 Century Pictures, the studio of the stars. 422 00:20:47.640 --> 00:20:49.380 Give me Marty Sanford, your publicity director. 423 00:20:49.579 --> 00:20:50.200 One moment, please. 424 00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:52.180 Sanford? 425 00:20:52.660 --> 00:20:53.599 Marty, this is Sid Ryan. 426 00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:55.569 Oh, hello, Sid. How's it going? Fine, fine. 427 00:20:55.769 --> 00:20:57.769 Listen, Marty, this is dead serious. On the level. 428 00:20:57.809 --> 00:20:58.019 Get it? 429 00:20:58.529 --> 00:20:59.009 What's wrong? 430 00:20:59.269 --> 00:21:03.720 I've got to locate Lucia. Lucia, come on now, Marty. 431 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:05.799 This is life and death. The guy you sent over 432 00:21:05.819 --> 00:21:07.339 to hire me for the invasion picture. 433 00:21:07.740 --> 00:21:12.180 I've heard of a guy named Lucia. And what invasion picture? 434 00:21:12.329 --> 00:21:14.809 Invasion from Mars, the space opera. 435 00:21:14.829 --> 00:21:17.750 Are you batty? Marty. That picture was shelled last month. 436 00:21:18.089 --> 00:21:18.369 What? 437 00:21:18.529 --> 00:21:19.829 Sure, back in the can. 438 00:21:20.470 --> 00:21:22.970 The big shots decided you can't sell a Martian invasion 439 00:21:22.990 --> 00:21:23.990 to the American public. 440 00:21:24.210 --> 00:21:25.289 It's too incredible, Sid. 441 00:21:25.890 --> 00:21:27.390 Who'd ever believe it could really happen? 442 00:21:27.670 --> 00:21:28.450 Of all the crazy. 443 00:21:30.309 --> 00:21:31.410 Mother in heaven. 444 00:21:31.900 --> 00:21:32.480 What is it, Mr. 445 00:21:32.519 --> 00:21:32.759 Ryan? 446 00:21:32.779 --> 00:21:36.720 You look terrible. It's too fantastic. Fantastic? 447 00:21:37.779 --> 00:21:38.039 Mr. 448 00:21:38.079 --> 00:21:40.859 Ryan, is something wrong? Open that window. I want another 449 00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:52.380 look at those Martians. Look at them. Oliver, you were 450 00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:56.839 in the army. Could 150 movie extras learn to march 451 00:21:56.900 --> 00:21:58.019 like that in, say, 24

hours? No. 452 00:21:58.859 --> 00:21:58.920 No. 453 00:22:01.369 --> 00:22:02.769 Not in 24 days, Mr. 454 00:22:02.809 --> 00:22:03.210 Ryan. 455 00:22:04.009 --> 00:22:09.170 Not a second's hesitation. Not one other step. Look at 456 00:22:09.190 --> 00:22:11.049 the way they carry those ray guns at the ready. 457 00:22:12.549 --> 00:22:14.490 The only other time I've seen troops march like that 458 00:22:14.549 --> 00:22:17.369 was on film of the Nazi SS troops marching through 459 00:22:17.390 --> 00:22:18.390 the streets of Paris. 460 00:22:18.809 --> 00:22:19.130 Mr. 461 00:22:19.190 --> 00:22:19.549 Ryan. 462 00:22:19.950 --> 00:22:21.990 Oliver, get down there. Find that woman who painted. Her 463 00:22:22.009 --> 00:22:23.890 name's Gloria Montez. Get her up here. Make it fast. 464 00:22:35.849 --> 00:22:36.710 Here she is, Mr. 465 00:22:36.750 --> 00:22:37.049 Ryan. 466 00:22:37.089 --> 00:22:39.299 I can't get much sense out of her. Stay away 467 00:22:39.339 --> 00:22:41.799 from me. Okay, Gloria, you can cut out the act 468 00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:46.819 and relax. It's me, Sid Ryan. Gloria, settle down. Baby, 469 00:22:46.940 --> 00:22:47.819 it's me, Sid. 470 00:22:47.839 --> 00:22:48.980 It's awful. 471 00:22:49.460 --> 00:22:53.460 It's all big green eyes and some feelings like a catfish. Baby, 472 00:22:53.559 --> 00:22:56.640 snap out of it. Listen, what happened down there? You 473 00:22:56.680 --> 00:22:58.440 ran out and screamed like I told you, but the fainting, 474 00:22:58.480 --> 00:22:59.329 that wasn't in the act. 475 00:22:59.789 --> 00:23:00.640 Go away, please. 476 00:23:01.160 --> 00:23:06.579 Go away. Just one question, baby. inside that helmet. What 477 00:23:06.619 --> 00:23:11.619 did you see? I don't get anything out of her, Mr. Ryan. 478 00:23:11.660 --> 00:23:12.549 She needs a doctor. 479 00:23:12.609 --> 00:23:13.119 Okay, Oliver. 480 00:23:13.160 --> 00:23:15.829 I've heard enough anyway. You take care of Gloria. Get 481 00:23:15.849 --> 00:23:17.890 her a drink. Where are you going? To see the commissioner. 482 00:23:17.930 --> 00:23:20.170 We've got to stop this parade before things begin to happen. 483 00:23:29.299 --> 00:23:30.680 Okay, Ryan, what's the beef? 484 00:23:30.740 --> 00:23:32.519 Listen, Patrick, I don't know what it is, see, but 485 00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:34.319 something's wrong. You've got to stop that parade. 486 00:23:34.359 --> 00:23:36.759 I suppose you'd like the riot squad. That would get 487 00:23:36.779 --> 00:23:39.160 you a front page spread on every paper in town. 488 00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:39.900 Now look, Ryan. 489 00:23:40.579 --> 00:23:42.460 I've got no time for your cheap publicity gags. I'm 490 00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:43.039 a busy man. 491 00:23:43.059 --> 00:23:44.640 Listen, I'm trying to tell you I don't know where 492 00:23:44.680 --> 00:23:46.869 those Martians came from, who they are, anything about them. 493 00:23:47.049 --> 00:23:49.250 Oh, Ryan, I'm wise to your tricks. Now, if you 494 00:23:49.289 --> 00:23:50.890 let the sergeant show you out. 495 00:23:50.910 --> 00:23:53.130 You won't do it, huh? An honest citizen appears for 496 00:23:53.170 --> 00:23:54.049 protection and you refuse? 497 00:23:54.250 --> 00:23:55.589 I most emphatically do. 498 00:23:55.630 --> 00:23:56.170 Now, beat it. 499 00:23:56.190 --> 00:23:58.109 All right, Patrick. I'll go right to the mayor's office. 500 00:23:58.390 --> 00:24:00.930 I'll have you busted, flattered on the Friday. Go ahead. 501 00:24:01.539 --> 00:24:03.420 I'm sure his honor will be glad to toss you 502 00:24:03.539 --> 00:24:06.079 out on that phony nickel-plated skull of yours. 503 00:24:06.099 --> 00:24:17.319 Ah! You heard me, Ryan. You can't see the man. Adolph, please. 504 00:24:17.339 --> 00:24:19.200 This isn't a gag. I don't want publicity. All I 505 00:24:19.240 --> 00:24:21.220 want to do is maybe prevent something horrible from happening. 506 00:24:21.240 --> 00:24:23.250 In case you don't know it, wise guy, something horrible 507 00:24:23.269 --> 00:24:24.049 is already happening. 508 00:24:24.549 --> 00:24:26.309 A couple of hundred little kids are in the hospital 509 00:24:26.529 --> 00:24:30.009 with humane poisoning from that phony Martian candy you passed out. 510 00:24:30.069 --> 00:24:30.269 What? 511 00:24:30.390 --> 00:24:31.259 But didn't you know? I.... 512 00:24:32.910 --> 00:24:35.940 I didn't. We've got to stop that parade. Sure. 513 00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:38.160 You'd like nothing better than to start a panic now. 514 00:24:38.680 --> 00:24:41.230 Maybe a few hundred people get trampled to death. Think 515 00:24:41.269 --> 00:24:44.490 of the newspaper space. That'd get you and your phony brother. 516 00:24:44.509 --> 00:24:45.970 I won't stand for this, Adolf. This may be a 517 00:24:45.990 --> 00:24:47.529 matter of life and death. Get out of here quick. 518 00:24:47.549 --> 00:24:49.430 It'll be your death. Go on, beat it. Get out. 519 00:24:49.890 --> 00:24:51.190 You and your publicity stunts. 520 00:24:51.750 --> 00:24:53.089 Make me sick to my stomach. 521 00:25:04.220 --> 00:25:04.500 Oliver. 522 00:25:05.220 --> 00:25:05.480 Oliver. 523 00:25:06.579 --> 00:25:07.299 Oliver, where are you? 524 00:25:07.579 --> 00:25:07.849 Oliver, I. 525 00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:07.960 Oliver. 526 00:25:09.220 --> 00:25:10.960 Oliver. Oliver! 527 00:25:11.579 --> 00:25:13.569 It is useless to scream at him, Mr. 528 00:25:13.589 --> 00:25:13.950 Ryan. 529 00:25:14.430 --> 00:25:16.769 Your friend is quite dead. 530 00:25:17.130 --> 00:25:17.609 Lucia! 531 00:25:17.809 --> 00:25:19.430 He wanted to run to the police with some story 532 00:25:19.450 --> 00:25:23.549 about a Martian invasion. I found it necessary. To restrain him. 533 00:25:23.670 --> 00:25:25.809 Restrain him, you stinking murderer! 534 00:25:25.829 --> 00:25:26.970 Now, now, Mr. 535 00:25:27.049 --> 00:25:30.309 Ryan, collect yourself. After all, our planning, it

wouldn't do 536 00:25:30.329 --> 00:25:32.210 to have everything spoiled. 537 00:25:31.730 --> 00:25:32.430 Now, would it? 538 00:25:32.450 --> 00:25:34.930 Lucia, start talking and talk fast, because when you get through, 539 00:25:34.990 --> 00:25:37.349 I'm going to take you apart piece by piece. What's 540 00:25:37.369 --> 00:25:39.329 this all about? Surely you know, Mr. 541 00:25:39.369 --> 00:25:41.710 Ryan. After all, you've been publicizing it for months. 542 00:25:42.710 --> 00:25:46.009 You see, before colonizing your planet, the Martian government sent 543 00:25:46.089 --> 00:25:49.289 some of us as scouts in advance, disguised as Earthmen, 544 00:25:49.329 --> 00:25:50.329 of course, to. 545 00:25:50.269 --> 00:25:52.079 Study your habits, your weaknesses. 546 00:25:53.150 --> 00:25:56.349 We found that the people on Earth are predominantly conditioned 547 00:25:56.470 --> 00:26:01.170 by advertising and publicity. And so we conceived the idea 548 00:26:01.210 --> 00:26:05.460 of treating our entire invasion as a vast publicity stunt. 549 00:26:07.579 --> 00:26:10.359 Clever, yes. After all, Mr. 550 00:26:10.400 --> 00:26:12.920 Ryan, who would suspect an invader who advertised his invasion 551 00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:15.920 in the newspaper, invited the public to his surprise attack, 552 00:26:16.420 --> 00:26:18.569 and spent millions publicizing his plans? 553 00:26:18.670 --> 00:26:19.890 Holy jumping. 554 00:26:19.930 --> 00:26:22.210 You've done very well, you see. 555 00:26:22.230 --> 00:26:22.309 Then. 556 00:26:23.420 --> 00:26:24.819 There was no product. 557 00:26:24.980 --> 00:26:29.859 Ah, but there is a product. The product is death. 558 00:26:30.599 --> 00:26:34.390 What are you trying, Lucha? We Martians are a humane people, Mr. 559 00:26:34.410 --> 00:26:36.990 Ryan. We do not like to destroy thousands where a 560 00:26:37.049 --> 00:26:38.250 few hundred will suffice. 561 00:26:39.299 --> 00:26:42.619 In exactly two minutes, our troops will treat the world 562 00:26:42.660 --> 00:26:44.809 to a spectacle of death, which will bring the rest 563 00:26:44.849 --> 00:26:46.849 of your planet to its knees in horror. 564 00:26:47.470 --> 00:26:49.250 Nations will clamor to surrender. 565 00:26:49.390 --> 00:26:54.890 Perhaps, Mr. Lucia, but not if I can help it. 566 00:27:02.710 --> 00:27:03.170 Yes, please? 567 00:27:03.430 --> 00:27:05.299 Operator, this is Mr. Ryan. Get me the field telephone 568 00:27:05.339 --> 00:27:06.920 on the reviewing stand of the Martian Day Parade. 569 00:27:06.940 --> 00:27:07.200 Hurry. 570 00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:08.359 Anyone in particular? 571 00:27:08.380 --> 00:27:13.690 Just hurry. Reviewing, Stan. 572 00:27:13.819 --> 00:27:14.210 Hello? 573 00:27:14.259 --> 00:27:15.079 Give me Commissioner Patrick. 574 00:27:15.099 --> 00:27:16.160 Hello? Hello! 575 00:27:16.420 --> 00:27:20.220 You have to talk louder. I want Commissioner Patrick! Patrick! Patrick! 576 00:27:20.420 --> 00:27:21.039

Wait a minute. 577 00:27:21.099 --> 00:27:22.460 Things are quieting down. 578 00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:24.019 Hey, wait a minute. 579 00:27:24.039 --> 00:27:25.599 What was that you wanted? This is Ryan. I have 580 00:27:25.619 --> 00:27:27.019 to talk to the Commissioner. It's a matter of life 581 00:27:27.059 --> 00:27:29.819 and death. You can't talk to him now. The Chief 582 00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:32.740 Martian is presenting the PBA check to him. The Martians 583 00:27:32.779 --> 00:27:34.599 are going to fire a salute. Listen, you've got to 584 00:27:34.619 --> 00:27:34.980 stop him. 585 00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:35.240 What? 586 00:27:35.420 --> 00:27:36.160 Stop him! 587 00:27:36.380 --> 00:27:36.819 I'm sorry, Mr. 588 00:27:36.839 --> 00:27:37.160 Ryan. 589 00:27:37.220 --> 00:27:37.829 I can't hear you. 590 00:27:37.839 --> 00:27:38.079 You idiot! 591 00:27:38.099 --> 00:27:39.180 The worst is going to. 592 00:27:50.269 --> 00:27:50.339 Mr. 593 00:27:50.380 --> 00:27:51.670 Ryan, you've been cut off. 594 00:27:51.769 --> 00:27:52.309 I heard it. 595 00:27:52.369 --> 00:27:53.470 Is something the matter? 596 00:27:54.369 --> 00:27:55.049 No, operator. 597 00:27:56.650 --> 00:27:57.309 Doesn't matter. 598 00:28:02.279 --> 00:28:03.380 Nothing matters now. 599 00:28:22.660 --> 00:28:27.069 Tonight, Dimension X has transcribed The Parade, an original radio 600 00:28:27.089 --> 00:28:30.349 drama written by George Lefferts. Featured in the cast were 601 00:28:30.390 --> 00:28:34.049 Joseph Curtin as Ryan, Barry Kroger as Lushar, and Alexander 602 00:28:34.089 --> 00:28:37.980 Scurvy as Ron Heilman. Your narrator was Norman Rose. Music 603 00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:42.579 by Albert Berman. Engineer, Bill Chambers. Dimension X is produced 604 00:28:42.640 --> 00:28:47.819 by Van Woodward and directed by Edward King. In a moment, 605 00:28:47.859 --> 00:28:50.619 we'll tell you about next week's show. And now, here 606 00:28:50.680 --> 00:28:52.799 is your Wheaties man, Frank Martin. 607 00:28:53.799 --> 00:28:57.329 It's National Wheaties Week. Have you had them today? 608 00:28:57.609 --> 00:28:58.309 Had your Wheaties? 609 00:28:58.829 --> 00:29:01.329 It's National Wheaties Week, the time of the year to 610 00:29:01.390 --> 00:29:04.309 buy Wheaties and try them at least once, for goodness sake. 611 00:29:04.970 --> 00:29:07.130 Because once you sit down to a bowl of Wheaties 612 00:29:07.190 --> 00:29:09.589 with milk and the fruit of your choice, I don't 613 00:29:09.630 --> 00:29:12.880 worry about you. Nope, I know there's a whole kernel 614 00:29:12.920 --> 00:29:16.619 of wheat in every Wheaties flake, and that's good. Besides, 615 00:29:16.700 --> 00:29:18.940 I know that starting a better breakfast with Wheaties can 616 00:29:19.059 --> 00:29:21.839 help you feel better, look better, and work better all morning. 617 00:29:22.579 --> 00:29:24.940 But honest now, you have to do your part before 618 00:29:24.980 --> 00:29:28.269 Wheaties can do theirs. Sure, buy Wheaties. That's what you 619 00:29:28.289 --> 00:29:30.750 have to do. That's what I have to do. Buy 620 00:29:30.769 --> 00:29:35.150 them and see how Wheaties at 7 can help at 11. 621 00:29:35.150 --> 00:29:44.220 And a happy National Wheaties Week to you. Listen next 622 00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:47.880 week when we present the Robert Heinlein story, The Roads 623 00:29:47.980 --> 00:29:48.660 Must Roll. 624 00:29:49.140 --> 00:29:51.349 Another adventure into the world of tomorrow. 625 00:29:51.630 --> 00:29:52.710 The world of. 626 00:29:54.309 --> 00:29:55.720 Dimension X. Dimension X. 627 00:30:01.230 --> 00:30:03.349 And this is the Wheaties man, Frank Martin, inviting you 628 00:30:03.369 --> 00:30:07.019 to listen Saturday, that's tomorrow night, to Joel McRae in 629 00:30:07.130 --> 00:30:10.640 Tales of the Texas Rangers on the Wheaties Big Parade. 630 00:30:11.180 --> 00:30:11.579 See you then. 631 00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:14.759 And remember, it's National Wheaties Week. 632 00:30:15.099 --> 00:30:18.460 Swing your partners right and left. It's National Wheaties Week. 633 00:30:18.539 --> 00:30:21.190 Come on, everybody, to the Wheaties party. Eat a lot 634 00:30:21.230 --> 00:30:24.470 of Wheaties like the champions do. Dance together cheek to cheek. 635 00:30:24.509 --> 00:30:26.250 This is National Wheaties Week. 636 00:30:26.349 --> 00:30:27.910 Eat a lot of Wheaties like the champions do. 637 00:30:27.930 --> 00:30:29.630 Wheaties are breakfast of champions. 638 00:30:48.930 --> 00:30:50.670 This program came to you from New York. 639 00:30:51.210 --> 00:30:53.150 Jack Leight's coming up October 6th. 640 00:30:53.210 --> 00:30:55.210 It's Bill Bendix on NBC. 641 00:31:04.019 --> 00:31:07.849 This has been Dimension X, Episode 21, The Parade. Follow 642 00:31:07.869 --> 00:31:10.809 Dimension X for more classic science fiction broadcasts.