SOME THOUGHTS FOR THE CLASS (on the pop cultcha...) の全文書き起こし

00:05:30.879 --> 00:05:33.600 Do you like my rock if you're watching the pr the visual podcast? 00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:36.240 Yeah, that's pretty much a rock that's shaped like a heart. 00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:36.959 Icky. 00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:40.319 I have to pick it up and show you. 00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:42.560 I don't this is actually really special to me. 00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:46.000 So if you I'm really laughing at myself today. 00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:53.920 If you're what if you're watching the YouTube, which I feel like there's like maybe it'll be a hundred in the end. 00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:59.439 This is something that I don't share with everyone, but I'll share it with you. 00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:06.240 I have thankfully I have so many other rocks that are very close and personal to me that like you'll never see, and and that's my boundary. 00:06:06.399 --> 00:06:08.720 Um, because some things have to be for yourself. 00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:10.480 Um, but you can see this one. 00:06:11.040 --> 00:06:14.160 It's shaped like pretty much a heart when you think about it. 00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:17.199 Yeah, it's grounding. 00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:18.639 Yeah, I need grounding. 00:06:18.800 --> 00:06:21.759 Yeah, my nervous system needs regulating. 00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:25.439 Don't we all? 00:06:25.759 --> 00:06:28.720 Okay, why did I why am I on here doing a solo podcast? 00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:37.279 Well, I'm reevaluating how to do the pod because of how I I think I said before I don't want to do my podcast. 00:06:37.439 --> 00:06:38.639 I well, first of all, I can't. 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:43.199 I can't do my podcast out of my apartment because, right, guys, you know, there's the ghost. 00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:46.879 The ghost is here and the pod, and I don't know how to get it out. 00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:48.720 Um, should I back this up a little bit? 00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:50.720 I'm feeling a little bit claustrophobic. 00:06:51.040 --> 00:07:00.639 Um, feeling a little bit like, uh so the ghost is here as well as I don't want everyone to come into my pot my apartment. 00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:05.519 So this leads me mathematically to I gotta not do my podcast in my apartment. 00:07:05.680 --> 00:07:07.519 I check my recording again to make sure. 00:07:07.680 --> 00:07:09.279 Now, do I people are wondering? 00:07:09.439 --> 00:07:11.120 Everyone's wondering, does she have OCD? 00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:13.040 Does she have generalized anxiety? 00:07:13.279 --> 00:07:14.560 One of us, definitely. 00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:15.920 Anxiety for sure. 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:21.920 Did we do an assessment recently with my therapist um for the old the the the good old ADHD? 00:07:22.319 --> 00:07:23.199 Did we come back? 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:24.240 Now listen to this. 00:07:24.319 --> 00:07:25.519 I laughed out loud in her face. 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:26.959 Uh sorry, and sorry to her. 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:28.959 Um clinically significant. 00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:30.399 I love these terms. 00:07:30.639 --> 00:07:34.000 Yeah, I mean your results were clinically significant, hilarious. 00:07:34.240 --> 00:08:09.199 Um, anyways, uh I am talking about uh anxiety and therapy a lot, and wow, there have been so many times recently in the past few weeks where I've been confronted with a situation in which I watched like almost outside of myself the anxiety bubble, and like all of the worst case scenarios flood to my brain in the space between knowing and not knowing about one certain thing or one response to a certain thing. 00:08:09.600 --> 00:08:19.519 And it's so interesting to watch your brain come up with all the reasons of why which you could have been the worst, and where it's like, huh? 00:08:19.600 --> 00:08:28.079 Well, I said this, and they're never gonna talk to me ever again, and that's that, and it's over. 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:30.480 You've done it again, Rebecca. 00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:37.279 And you know, obviously, then that but now the part of gross that I'm in is saying, Rebecca, still be silly. 00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:38.879 What are the facts? 00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:40.159 This is not true. 00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:51.279 XYZ, debunk the the myth that you are creating in your mind of how you have been the most villain, and um, and all of the worst things that could happen to you right now are going to happen to you. 00:08:51.600 --> 00:08:54.879 Um and so then you do it, you debunk it. 00:08:55.039 --> 00:08:55.440 Great. 00:08:55.679 --> 00:08:57.120 Maybe it settles for a while. 00:08:57.279 --> 00:08:58.559 Does it creep up again? 00:08:58.639 --> 00:09:01.759 Depending on if you've just been in the house for too long. 00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:02.879 Probably. 00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:07.440 Um, but I de-escalated myself at every turn recently. 00:09:07.519 --> 00:09:11.039 I'm going pew blocked, blocked, blocked, blocked, blocked. 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:14.559 And it's like these things, these tendencies. 00:09:14.639 --> 00:09:17.039 I'm like, I think they were always there. 00:09:17.279 --> 00:09:19.279 I think they are worse now. 00:09:19.759 --> 00:09:22.799 After you know how you know the vibes. 00:09:23.279 --> 00:09:34.080 The thing about, and I tell my therapist this is the thing that's interesting about my little kind of brand of anxiety is like most of the origins of the anxiety do come from like at one point it was true. 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:36.559 At one point, the worst thing did happen. 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:39.440 Okay. 00:09:40.320 --> 00:09:46.879 Um, but that does not mean, as the therapy would suggest, that it is happening right now. 00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:49.840 And that does not mean that the worst thing is always going to happen. 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:52.879 Because the worst thing happened those few times. 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:54.639 Did they leave a mark? 00:09:54.799 --> 00:09:57.279 Did they make my brain hyper-vigilant? 00:09:57.440 -->

00:10:00.399 Survival mode, looking out for uh for danger? 00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:01.200 Yes, of course. 00:10:01.360 --> 00:10:03.279 And I promise I won't talk about this every time. 00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:04.320 I didn't even mean to. 00:10:04.720 --> 00:10:05.200 Here we are. 00:10:05.360 --> 00:10:07.519 Oh, it was because I was talking about my rock. 00:10:08.240 --> 00:10:09.120 Of course. 00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:12.879 What I'm here to talk about is real cultural events. 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:16.799 They said Las Culturistas, what about Las Culturistas? 00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:33.440 One time when I moved to New York, I went to a show at the Bell House or something, and Bo and Yang was like, Oh my god, Rebecca, because he remembered me from doing reviews of Las Culturistas on A V Club. 00:10:33.519 --> 00:10:36.159 And sometimes it's remember, it's it's sometimes it's remember. 00:10:36.320 --> 00:10:41.120 Sometimes it's fun to remember times of your life that were from before that were different. 00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:42.879 And we'll get into it. 00:10:43.039 --> 00:10:48.639 Like one time I was a girly writing about the other people, and then I said, I can't do that anymore. 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:50.320 I have to be me. 00:10:50.559 --> 00:10:55.200 I have to be a caterpillar blooming into a butterfly. 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:56.720 And you know what? 00:10:56.799 --> 00:10:59.039 I had an image of earlier this morning. 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:02.799 I'm laughing at myself today, and I'm being really personal. 00:11:02.879 --> 00:11:06.799 I'm kind of being like, You're my friend, like we're just on a call in which I'm talking so much. 00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:09.919 Sorry, most of my friends will know it's a lot of my calls. 00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:10.399 Okay. 00:11:10.559 --> 00:11:11.840 When I start, I can't. 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:12.720 It's hard to stop. 00:11:12.799 --> 00:11:14.080 But then I try to check in. 00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:23.279 Um I had an image, I had a meditation I was doing, and that's and that's on we're trying to stay grounded, was making me think of the image of now. 00:11:23.440 --> 00:11:25.039 Listen to how beautiful this is. 00:11:29.440 --> 00:11:30.399 I'm crying. 00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:32.799 Listen how beautiful this is. 00:11:37.919 --> 00:11:40.879 The the image of the power. 00:11:41.840 --> 00:11:49.840 Okay, the power of like my like absolute energy of love and passion in this world. 00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:55.600 The the this power, and you really gotta get on the YouTube for this visual, but I'm gonna try to describe it. 00:11:55.759 --> 00:11:57.679 Um, there are tears in my eyes. 00:11:57.840 --> 00:12:00.639 Um, real ones on side, unlike Dylan's. 00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:02.559 We'll get into it, Dylan of Love Island. 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:04.879 I've interrupted my own beautiful thought. 00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:21.519 The image of beautiful love coming from my heart, beaming out into the world, and then like going out and around to form actually butterfly wings. 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:29.120 Like, imagine the the energy coming from your heart goes back around to the then it connects to the back of you to create your wings. 00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:32.720 Anybody needed to hear that today? 00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:51.039 So, yeah, it's basically what I'm about to out here, just kind of like letting my love beam through my heart, become to be wings, and then I'm flying, and then I'm free. 00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:53.759 Oh, that's the goal. 00:12:54.080 --> 00:12:54.960 That's the goal. 00:12:55.120 --> 00:13:00.159 Woo! I really got really took over me for a second there. 00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:02.960 I hope someone appreciates I so I hope someone's laughing or crying. 00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:04.960 I hope someone needed that visual. 00:13:06.240 --> 00:13:11.120 Okay, I'm talking about hashtag pop culture today-ish, you know. 00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:20.240 I almost wrote white supremacy on the board, but then I said maybe if you write white white supremacy on the board, when people click it, they're not pe what people are gonna not click. 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:20.960 You know? 00:13:21.360 --> 00:13:22.879 This is sort of what we're talking about. 00:13:23.039 --> 00:13:31.600 People always want to avoid white supremacy, and I'm just like, guys, you can ignore it, but it will still wreak havoc. 00:13:31.919 --> 00:14:09.440 And what I'm realizing more and more as I'm almost a year into my time in LA is that I guess if you're a wh a white person who is benefiting from the structures of white supremacy, and especially if you're like a white leftist who's who's but who who sort of like recognizes the f the the inherent wrong of white supremacy and the systems that protect them, but they are being protected by it, then they simply will not rise up to do the very uncomfortable work of abolishing it, you know. 00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:14.639 Like duh, hashtag duh, but I'm really when I'm out here, I'm like, oh yeah. 00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:17.840 If it don't gotta do with you, you do really don't give a fuck, do you? 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:22.559 And like here I am trying to, you know, anyways. 00:14:23.039 --> 00:14:32.320 My therapist literally did we like unfortunately I'm talking about this in therapy where it's sort of like, am I wasting first of all, what have I been doing? 00:14:32.559 --> 00:14:44.559 Second of all, is it have I been centering white people in my sort of like talks and posts and whatever, in the sense of like, am I literally out here trying to get racist to not be racist? 00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:48.159 And is that a waste of all of my time and energy? 00:14:48.320 --> 00:14:52.480 And is that also in some sort of way just reinforcing white supremacy? 00:14:52.720 --> 00:15:04.799 It's very tough and interesting um like to be like, well, I can't stand for white supremacy, and therefore I should call it out when I see it.

00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:10.399 I can't stand for anti-blackness, and therefore I should call it out when I see it. 00:15:10.559 --> 00:15:18.799 Um, but like, yeah, who and who and what am I building towards and with whom and with what energy and time, you know? 00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:23.600 Considering all of these things and like like some people are unmovable, unchangeable. 00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:27.519 Am I am I am I trying to revolutionize the Hollywood Studios LA? 00:15:27.759 --> 00:15:28.159 Maybe. 00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:30.240 Is it pointless? 00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:31.200 Maybe. 00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:47.279 Like, like, like maybe, maybe people uh have their dreams and they don't want your they don't want it to be interrupted by the how their dreams have been sort of co-opted by the Zionist state, right? 00:15:47.679 --> 00:15:49.120 These are all things we're getting into. 00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:55.600 I'm sort of doing a you know when you write an essay and in school and in the first paragraph you're kind of giving a preview of the essay. 00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:57.200 I guess that's what I'm kind of doing right here. 00:15:57.360 --> 00:16:03.919 And if you don't think this all has to do with Love Island, and also the Knicks in a way, you're not out here connecting the knots. 00:16:04.159 --> 00:16:05.120 Okay, let's get into it. 00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:07.759 Let's get into the the the fun stuff first. 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:17.279 Okay, yeah, I've been watching Love Island, but I will clarify that I skipped a bunch of episodes in the middle when I because here's the truth. 00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:22.000 I just looked over at my cat and he was very sleepy, cute. 00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:26.000 Here's the truth when I started Love Island. 00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:29.120 Now I I I wonder if people are rolling their eyes at me. 00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:33.120 And if you're rolling your eyes, put you put your hand up in the chat. 00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:39.440 Um, when I started Love Island, I said, okay, what are they gonna be pushing this season? 00:16:39.679 --> 00:16:49.919 And I started the first episode, and immediately I had like very, very young girls talking about like, yeah, I want to settle down, find my man, like start a have a family soon. 00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:51.440 And I'm like, Soon? 00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:54.399 I mean, you're like when you're like 25, whatever. 00:16:54.639 --> 00:16:58.399 Um, I was like, there were things about the girls' interviews that we're giving. 00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:07.119 Okay, so we're pushing some trad wifey, some conservative values, like none of this is very new from any of these um reality shows, but okay, whatever. 00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:07.920 Noted. 00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:11.839 The second thing that was noted was Sean the Cop. 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:15.440 Now, this is why I became behind on the episodes. 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:20.160 Because when they introduced Sean the Cop, I said, now what are you trying to do to me? 00:17:20.799 --> 00:17:22.880 Now what are you trying to do to me? 00:17:23.279 --> 00:17:23.920 You know? 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:27.599 I can't, I don't want this. 00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:33.279 I was like, I they better get him out. 00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:42.880 If they I paused the first episode, and then I literally just like didn't watch it for a couple weeks. 00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:48.079 And then I was like, all right, let me see what they're doing with all of this. 00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:49.920 I picked it back up. 00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:55.039 Thankfully, to finally see to it took far too long, but to see Sean kicked out. 00:17:55.200 --> 00:18:04.319 But you know, it was it was valuable information to see kind of like his vibe and what they were saying, and like officer sexy pants, you're really making me vomit in my mouth. 00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:10.880 Um, anyways, that's not necessarily shocking, but noted. 00:18:11.839 --> 00:18:15.759 If you thought if you thought Love Island was gonna be immune to copaganda, you were wrong. 00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:17.519 It's everywhere, it's everywhere you look. 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:18.799 We'll talk about it later. 00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:22.079 So, okay, that was the first thing. 00:18:23.759 --> 00:18:30.000 And then, and then basically, like I got so far behind that I skipped a bunch of episodes to become um up to date. 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:39.839 But I think you know, I I've seen what was relevant, and what I'll say is it's scary out here. 00:18:40.079 --> 00:18:41.440 It's scary out here. 00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:58.079 Um, the propaganda that they are pushing on this show is so extra evil this season that it is sort of like it's only shocking in how on the nose some of it is. 00:18:58.559 --> 00:19:31.200 And I guess I'm shocked when I see how some people respond to things that, like, oh yeah, they are really they're succeeding because they're tapping on a population of people who are already anti-black, who are already misogynistic, like they have chosen these men and women to perpetuate something they owe to. 00:19:32.319 --> 00:19:35.200 And I feel like this season, let me put on my notes. 00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:36.880 I forgot I had notes. 00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:38.880 Ah, yes, okay. 00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:40.960 Like, well, really, let's get in. 00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:54.960 So the Anaya and Casey little moment of which she apologized for getting in his face and disrespecting him. 00:19:56.799 --> 00:20:22.720 It's really hard for me to engage with any discourse that is trying to act like Anaya is the aggressor, and it's just like the the blatant misogynist, the blatant um sort of expectation for Anaya to take it, to take um Casey standing and raising his voice at her. 00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:42.240 And and I reroll the tapes, okay, he is incre he's getting closer and closer to the girls' space, and it's really just it is so expected for a woman to just

stay small and to not defend herself. 00:20:42.400 --> 00:21:17.839 And like when a woman does defend herself, when a woman does and dare to reassert her space, and yeah, even maybe back him back into sitting down that she is like blamed for it, and she is the like the angry black woman trope is just you guys are do the the way that you guys are doing it, and you guys, I mean, just like the people that I'm seeing, you know, people are, and it's like obviously this so this like the like that stuff is very obvious to me, and everything that's been going on with Anaya has been really tragic. 00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:22.799 Um, I really feel like this show has just been putting out sort of like black trauma porn. 00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:32.799 It's just like how often can we watch Anaya in pain, um like for like as a story? 00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:39.920 Like, like her story is her rejection, is her in pain, is now her apologizing. 00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:47.680 Now another part of her story that gets to be highlighted and platformed is like her apologizing for taking up this space. 00:21:47.759 --> 00:21:51.599 And like, I think I will post the real about this, or maybe this is the real. 00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:59.759 But like, this is what is so concerning to me about the messages that Love Island is pushing, because there are the very obvious messages. 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:10.480 Of like thin superiority, body fascism, white supremacy, um that are like obvious. 00:22:10.720 --> 00:22:23.359 Um and then you also have things like this that are like to me, the message is if you stand up to a man you better apologize. 00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:28.079 If you stand up for yourself against a man, it's disrespect. 00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:55.599 Even if a man started, even if a man has been harming you for like weeks and lying to you and disrespecting you, even if you just watched him um sort of dehumanize you, even if he has been acting like you were property that owed him some sort of sexual favors and that you were, you know, desexualized because you didn't put out. 00:22:55.920 --> 00:23:07.599 Um, even even if all of that is happening, apologize for the disrespect of you standing up for yourself and I guess getting in his face. 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:10.079 And I'm not even and I'm not judging her. 00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:16.480 I'm judging this show because I know that the show knows exactly who they're casting when they cast it. 00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:23.759 In the same way that they know who KC and Sincere are, and Corbin is, and Alana was. 00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:28.960 Like, they also know who Melanie is, they also know who Anaya is, they also know who Kenzie is. 00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:35.359 Like they know how people are going to move in response to each other. 00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:45.039 And I think they know that the Anaya is the kind of girl who would feel like she needs to apologize for doing that. 00:23:45.759 --> 00:23:48.640 And I think it's a really convenient message. 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:55.279 I think the other messages of the show have all been about women being subservient. 00:23:55.359 --> 00:24:14.160 They have all been about um upholding very old school patriarchy, you know, and the way that this show has really, really, yeah, normalized these tactics of abuse and manipulation. 00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:22.000 Like, I know people throw the term gaslighting around all the time, but like we have seen it multiple instances on this show. 00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:25.599 And it's not just gaslighting isn't just lying to someone, right? 00:24:25.839 --> 00:24:33.200 Gaslighting is acting like the other person is crazy for believing their truth, which is the truth. 00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:43.279 And manipulating someone to believe a different reality than is the one that they know is true. 00:24:43.519 --> 00:24:45.359 The one that they know is true. 00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:47.039 Like it is crazy. 00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:55.519 Um, if you've ever been gaslit, you'll know it's like, it's like, but I feel like I, but I did say this, right? 00:24:56.079 --> 00:24:58.079 But it and I meant it like this. 00:24:58.640 --> 00:25:03.759 But he's saying that I that I meant it like this, but like he's saying it so sure. 00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:13.200 He's saying he's saying it so sure, and he's acting upset that I won't admit to what he to his truth. 00:25:14.559 --> 00:25:23.359 He's acting so crazy, and I'm actually first of all, now I'm nervous because you're acting so assured of your reality. 00:25:24.240 --> 00:25:26.079 Am I fucking crazy? 00:25:27.039 --> 00:25:29.599 He's basically calling me crazy am I crazy? 00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:31.680 I mean, I might be crazy. 00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:34.160 Maybe I did mean it like that. 00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:37.599 Maybe, I mean, he's the one that experienced it. 00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:39.599 So then maybe do you know what I'm saying? 00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:41.200 I'm gonna stop now. 00:25:41.839 --> 00:25:42.799 I'm gonna stop now. 00:25:43.039 --> 00:25:45.359 Gal did it, all these people have done it, right? 00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:53.200 Um, and this fake accountability of just sort of being like, yeah, that was wrong and I was bad. 00:25:53.359 --> 00:25:54.319 I did the bad thing. 00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:55.920 Sorry, I did the bad thing. 00:25:56.079 --> 00:25:56.960 Whoops. 00:25:58.079 --> 00:26:00.799 It's really, really manipulative. 00:26:01.359 --> 00:26:08.799 And it's really, I'm I so hope that Melanie gets out of her sincere situation. 00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:19.279 But the way that she was crying at the end of the episode, and the way that even it shows how much doubt she has as she's trying to assert herself worth. 00:26:20.079 --> 00:26:24.400 All these people are around her saying, no, yeah, he fucked up. 00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:28.160 That was bad, that was bad, that was bad, but he really likes you. 00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:30.240 But he

really likes you. 00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:43.200 And patriarchy, white supremacy, and everything that Love Island is pushing is telling Melanie and Anaya and every fucking woman on that show, well, you need to be chosen in the end. 00:26:43.759 --> 00:26:45.599 You want to be chosen in the end. 00:26:45.759 --> 00:27:01.839 And I think it's beyond like whether or not someone's thinking of winning, or you know, of course they all like have this in the back of their head, but like this is the message of the show is be a good girl and forgive. 00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:07.039 Be a good girl and apologize. 00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:18.079 Be a good girl and admit, yeah, you you I was being a slut, and and I'm and now that this is this is me talking about Kenzie. 00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:31.440 The the thing with Kenzie, like I'm not, listen, I'm not the number one Kenzie fan or defender, but what's going on with Kenzie is also loco because it's like now all of the men are they need a woman to become the villain. 00:27:31.519 --> 00:27:36.160 They have no villain on the woman's side, and they have so many villains on the men's side. 00:27:36.319 --> 00:27:37.839 So they say, okay, great. 00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:40.480 And and production did this, and the show did this, right? 00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:47.599 Like, okay, now we're gonna show her, you know, being crazy, and now my cat's here, uh, flip-flopping and whatever. 00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:54.480 And I'm not saying she she did it good or graceful, but I do feel that she was honest in every like she oh she was never close off with anyone. 00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:58.480 She, I'm pretty sure she always said that she was exploring these other connections, right? 00:27:58.559 --> 00:27:59.200 Whatever. 00:27:59.440 --> 00:28:04.319 Um, these these men now being like, well, wow. 00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:06.079 Kenzie was basically a slut. 00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:08.880 Kenzie was like double standard much. 00:28:09.039 --> 00:28:15.200 Kenzie did the same thing, and she disregarded all of these men's feelings, and she is bad now. 00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:16.240 And she is bad. 00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:21.680 And we actually really liked it when Kenzie was um a slut, when it benefited us. 00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:33.920 Like we loved, we love when the girls' sexuality, you know, uh when when they're when the availability of of their bodies for us, the men, is um easy access. 00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:39.119 We like really like that um for us, like when it benefits our narrative. 00:28:39.279 --> 00:28:48.640 And the moment that it stops benefiting our narrative, which um now that the boys have been so exposed on movie night, it no longer benefits their narrative. 00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:51.680 Um, yeah, now you're uh now you're slut. 00:28:52.400 --> 00:29:00.960 Now you're slut, and um, you're evil for hurting poor white man Dylan's feelings with his fake white man tears. 00:29:01.039 --> 00:29:03.599 I really can't stand this man and his performance. 00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:06.640 I've already popped off of that on on Instagram. 00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:09.119 Ah, I hate the guy. 00:29:09.279 --> 00:29:22.880 Wow, I really and and the thing is, and and that's a part of the the whole like fucking analysis too, though, is like the way that this show is trying to convince you that his fake tears are real is supremacist. 00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:24.640 It is white supremacist. 00:29:24.799 --> 00:29:32.240 It it does not discount the um horrible things that Casey has said and done. 00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:44.960 It does not discount that to also acknowledge the way that he is that that that and and that's the thing, even in the end of the episode, Casey's still not even painted that much as a villain, all right? 00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:47.039 Literally, there they are like that. 00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:48.960 It was good for you that you had that conversation. 00:29:50.160 --> 00:30:11.599 He's still even painted as that much of a villain, but still in comparison, the benefit of the doubt that like this show is giving the way that this show is literally using music and editing to like try to convince us that Dylan is feeling these feelings and he's not actually just being an a manipulator, pretty much forcing Kenzie into a closed-off thing. 00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:18.880 Um, because if not, she's she's bad girl, but not in the sexy way anymore. 00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:21.039 So it's all just very convenient. 00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:34.000 And if we're watching these shows, you really, if you're watching Love Island, you really because nothing I'm saying is new, especially if you are following Erica Hart on Instagram or reading Erica Hart's um book, Nasty Work, of which I am. 00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:37.599 I'm a very slow reader, but it's such a good book, and you really need to check it out. 00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:55.680 Um, Erica is doing all of the best analysis, and I literally uh I could I I could not be watching this show if I did not have another voice on the other side um also uh saying all of the things plainly that are they're very wrong. 00:30:55.920 --> 00:31:11.119 And and I think that these shows are useful for that in the in the in the sense that reality shows, whether highly produced or not, and actually, and that is the point, because reality shows are a microcosm. 00:31:11.839 --> 00:31:13.119 Let me say that again. 00:31:13.359 --> 00:31:26.319 Reality shows are a microcosm of real life, even in the way that they are produced, because it's like you have real life, and you know what produces real life, like who's the executive producer of real life? 00:31:26.480 --> 00:31:27.519 White supremacy. 00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:32.160 Okay, and it's the same fucking rule um in Love Island. 00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:39.839 So the way that it perpetuates and the way that rape culture perpetuates on that show, it is the same way that it perpetuates in real life. 00:31:40.079 -->

00:31:46.400 And the like low-key manipulative, abusive um behaviors that we've seen. 00:31:46.559 --> 00:31:54.559 Can I say the pie challenge or the cake throwing challenge? 00:31:54.720 --> 00:32:00.720 I saw someone else say this, and I was like, that is really true, and that is what was sitting so horrible with me. 00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:06.480 Is like low-key normalizing just like kind of violence against women. 00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.440 Now you're you'll say, Oh, Rebecca was a cake. 00:32:11.279 --> 00:32:27.440 These are girls with their head trapped, their head propped up under a fucking thing, having men, some of them who are angry at them, throwing stuff at their face. 00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:35.359 I don't give a fuck if it's a marshmallow or a fucking cake or a fucking rock. 00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:39.839 Like, that is fucking weird. 00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:41.920 That is gross and weird. 00:32:42.079 --> 00:32:50.799 And to have it after, you know, all of this drama, like you are asking what you are wanting is for the men. 00:32:50.960 --> 00:33:02.559 Cause and you even say it like in the fucking dialogue, like in Ariam, Ariana Maddox's shit, like, you know, you're gonna get your revenge, and the revenge is like throwing stuff at each other. 00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:13.680 It's very like, it just reminds me, and hate to say it, but it's like, yes, everything is simply this deep. 00:33:13.920 --> 00:33:19.920 But it reminds me of being in my relationship where I rationalize with myself for so long. 00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:21.200 Like, well, he doesn't hit me. 00:33:21.279 --> 00:33:22.079 Well, he doesn't hit me. 00:33:22.160 --> 00:33:23.279 Well, he doesn't hit me. 00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:24.640 Well, he doesn't hit me. 00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:25.920 Well, he doesn't hit me. 00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:27.200 He throws stuff. 00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:28.079 Oh, yeah. 00:33:28.160 --> 00:33:29.920 When he's angry, he throws stuff. 00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:34.880 He throws stuff around me, he breaks stuff, but he doesn't hit me. 00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:40.160 When you're doing that rationalization in your head in your relationship, things are already too far gone. 00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:43.599 And this type of stuff, not too far gone, you can get out. 00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:46.559 I did, you know, but like they've crossed that boundary, right? 00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:53.039 Like you're you I'll hate to break it to you, but I'll do it every time I guess I have to and can. 00:33:53.279 --> 00:34:06.000 Um, like when that type of expression of anger has entered the home, it's not safe anymore. 00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:13.360 And when people say like a you know, a throw can turn into a push can turn into a hit, like that is true. 00:34:13.519 --> 00:34:15.679 Like it is just that's true. 00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:20.480 Um so what are you normalizing? 00:34:20.639 --> 00:34:26.239 What are you saying is ha ha okay with that challenge? 00:34:26.800 --> 00:34:32.639 I can tell you if if I was in that chat, I would feel very fucking like it would not be funny to me. 00:34:32.719 --> 00:34:33.280 It is not fun. 00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:37.920 I would not be surprised if those girls are having flashbacks of cake throwing in their face. 00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:40.079 It's not good, it's really not good. 00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:41.840 Um, yeah. 00:34:42.239 --> 00:34:45.599 Anyways, anything else to let me look at my notes again. 00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:48.960 Now I have my cat on me, kind of like immobilizing me. 00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:50.559 Um, all right, all right. 00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:51.840 I have so many notes on things. 00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:55.679 I have notes on other stuff I want to talk about, but that's gonna be another day. 00:34:56.480 --> 00:34:56.800 Okay. 00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:11.199 Yeah, I mean, really, your hatred towards black women is really is really wild and and you really that and it's disgusting every time I see it. 00:35:11.360 --> 00:35:16.239 Um, and also just like on that tip, like thought experiment. 00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:27.679 What would the reaction of these things be uh if Casey or just like a black man were standing and yelling like at a white woman? 00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:36.400 What were how would people respond to that if she stayed small or if she got big? 00:35:37.599 --> 00:35:38.559 I just wonder. 00:35:40.559 --> 00:35:57.760 And you know, the thing is, is as a woman, there's no perfect uh option for the response to harm from men. 00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:13.760 I just want to clarify, I'm not even calling yelling harm, I'm not even calling KC abusive, uh I'm not even calling um you know standing up and yelling as inherently aggressive or violent. 00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:22.320 I think that these things they it's a case like everything, and this is why we're abolitionists, these are case-by-case basis. 00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:32.320 But in general, this is what this reminds me of is there is a woman being harmed in an interpersonal relationship one way or another. 00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:34.239 What is the best way to respond? 00:36:34.559 --> 00:36:43.760 Especially if you're feeling like physically threatened, because you stay small, you're not protected. 00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:44.880 That doesn't protect you. 00:36:45.039 --> 00:36:46.960 You stay small to try to stay protected. 00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:56.400 You just stay small to say, oh, maybe if I don't, if I don't trigger him more, or you know, but that still doesn't protect you. 00:36:56.800 --> 00:36:58.079 That's not a shield. 00:36:58.639 --> 00:37:11.360 You might still get harmed, and then you stand up for yourself and you do what maybe Anaya did, and that's still threatening, and you're still not necessarily uh safe. 00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:26.880 So, like when there are no good options for how to stand up for yourself towards male aggression, can you realize that the male aggression is the fucking

problem? 00:37:29.360 --> 00:37:39.360 And anyone, and that's why like anyone trying to argue in the comments of my stupid Love Island real, trying to specify, well, she got into his fate. 00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:44.719 Can you not look at cause and effect? 00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:52.559 She would have nothing to respond to, she would have nothing to defend herself towards if he didn't start escalating. 00:37:52.880 --> 00:38:02.079 If he and and and and and it's always him trying to be heard when he's not even saying anything, when he's not saying anything. 00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:05.440 Anyways. 00:38:12.159 --> 00:38:14.159 But like that's what I'm saying. 00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:17.280 The fake apology thing of like being like, yeah, that was bad. 00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:43.039 We'll see how he moves now, but it just feels like the way that all of these men on Love Island and the world over get to just continue to perpetuate the same stupid bullshit, the same fucking anti-black violent bullshit, the same anti-woman bullshit. 00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:45.119 Louis C.K. 00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:48.880 can fucking do what he did. 00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:52.719 He's backing at it again. 00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:59.360 This is what happens when you get to just say, Sorry, because the world does not give a fuck about women. 00:39:00.159 --> 00:39:15.280 Because Love Island is an encapsulation of how white supremacy and patriarchy together discard women and their bodies at such alarming rates, and black women at even more alarming rates. 00:39:15.760 --> 00:39:18.559 Trans women at even more alarming rates. 00:39:18.800 --> 00:39:22.159 Black trans women, the rates are very alarming. 00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:25.519 It's not a fucking joke. 00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:27.440 It's just fucking true. 00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:31.519 I feel like sometimes I say stuff and I'm like, do I say it so cavalier? 00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:33.679 Like insensitive. 00:39:34.400 --> 00:39:39.920 And it's just like I hope no one thinks I'm insensitive. 00:39:40.159 --> 00:40:01.360 It's just that the plain fact of it all becomes so exhausting that it's hard to even continue to it's hard to figure out how to express it in a way that also encapsulates how pedestrian it's become. 00:40:03.119 --> 00:40:05.119 And I don't want to normalize that. 00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:15.360 It's very important and disgusting that black trans women are killed at the rate that they are in this country. 00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:23.920 The end, point like period. 00:40:25.519 --> 00:40:25.840 Okay. 00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:33.199 On being a woman trying to express herself, I want to talk about this a little bit. 00:40:33.840 --> 00:40:41.039 And with that, I also want to apologize to hot girls around the world, which I started to do in in the last episode with Charles, Charles Gould, check it out. 00:40:41.119 --> 00:40:42.880 Um, but I really want to get into today. 00:40:43.199 --> 00:40:47.440 Because, all right, I

never considered myself a hot girl because frankly, I wasn't. 00:40:47.599 --> 00:40:48.559 I wasn't a hot girl. 00:40:48.639 --> 00:40:50.719 I wasn't really treated like a hot girl growing up. 00:40:50.880 --> 00:40:53.360 Um, I said that's us versus them. 00:40:53.679 --> 00:40:56.079 I'm us, they're them. 00:40:57.440 --> 00:41:03.280 I understand to to have this conversation, I have to once now um call myself a hot girl. 00:41:03.440 --> 00:41:06.719 The thing is, is that I it's I didn't decide it, other people did. 00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:09.280 And that's in and of itself the problem, right? 00:41:09.920 --> 00:41:21.199 I've had my little um glow up, glow up meaning escaping of abusive relationship and toxic lifestyle that was um killing me slowly on the inside out. 00:41:21.679 --> 00:41:28.320 Um and re went back into the sun and started caring about myself and loving myself more, and then guess what? 00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:32.639 That just makes you different, and people start to change treat you differently. 00:41:33.360 --> 00:41:40.159 I've also lost some weight, and that is always interesting. 00:41:40.960 --> 00:41:44.320 I lost my some weight, not on purpose, really. 00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:51.519 I stopped eating like uh I stopped buying red meat because of my PCOS. 00:41:51.679 --> 00:41:59.679 I realized that that was one of the things that could make you be feeling worse, and I was eating a lot of it, and I stopped eating that, and that made me feel a lot better. 00:41:59.840 --> 00:42:14.159 Um, I just started eating better for my PCOS, and also I don't have a car, so I walk a lot in the sun, and yeah, I guess I've maybe lost some weight since I've moved to LA. 00:42:15.840 --> 00:42:19.760 It's always weird and gross when people tell you that. 00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:25.760 It's always weird and interesting and gross when you start to get more attention. 00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:27.840 Um, and that is in line. 00:42:28.079 --> 00:42:32.239 I mean, I think it's not just that, you know, I think it's it's it's an amalgamation of things, whatever. 00:42:32.320 --> 00:42:35.599 I'm on my hot girl shit, as in, like I said, I love myself now. 00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:37.519 Um, or I'm working on it. 00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:40.559 Um and I'm like, and and that's the thing. 00:42:40.719 --> 00:42:47.039 Sometimes loving yourself means washing your face every day, and sometimes you weren't doing that before because you didn't love yourself as much. 00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:48.239 Know what I'm saying? 00:42:48.559 --> 00:42:53.039 Anyways, body fascism is a real thing. 00:42:53.280 --> 00:42:56.239 Um, thinness should not be the goal. 00:42:56.480 --> 00:42:59.440 Health should always be the goal. 00:42:59.760 --> 00:43:17.280 I always thought I was fat growing up because of how my stomach wasn't this flat, and I grew up with low-rise genes, and everyone's stomach was this flat, and no matter how many hours I was dancing, my stomach would never be this flat, and my never has my stomach has never been flat. 00:43:17.440 --> 00:43:22.159 My stomach has always had a little, it's just a little, because that is my body. 00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:29.920 Wise your primacy and thinness are intertwined. 00:43:30.079 --> 00:43:31.599 I do not aspire to this. 00:43:31.760 --> 00:43:36.480 Get into it in Erica Hart's uh nasty work, anyways. 00:43:37.119 --> 00:43:47.119 But as someone who is now it's both like like whatever hot feeling like people are desiring you more, that's one part of it. 00:43:47.199 --> 00:43:56.800 But it's really just like being more in my body as like a woman, like a thing that I think I avoided um for so long. 00:43:56.960 --> 00:43:59.840 Like I didn't really have to confront until I got like punched. 00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:05.840 And until like people started to um well, and I talked about it last solo episode. 00:44:05.920 --> 00:44:09.280 Like people have always treated my body as like a sexual object, right? 00:44:09.599 --> 00:44:12.480 Uh like in the cat collie way. 00:44:12.960 --> 00:44:23.360 Um, but now like people are approaching me with a little bit of a familiarity and a little bit of an entitlement. 00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:26.719 Then no me gusta at all. 00:44:27.679 --> 00:44:31.679 Like sometimes I do want to just be a girl in a space doing her thing. 00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:33.920 Actually, most of the time. 00:44:34.320 --> 00:44:40.639 Because I'm a funny, friendly person, people love to be like, like, like I'll say, like, no, no, I'm like for a real, like a loner. 00:44:40.719 --> 00:44:41.920 And they're like, no, you are right. 00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:44.719 I'm like, I am alone, and I would like to be, actually. 00:44:44.880 --> 00:44:47.440 Just because I'm charismatic doesn't mean I have to always share it with someone. 00:44:47.519 --> 00:44:48.639 Sometimes that's exhausting. 00:44:48.800 --> 00:44:50.239 Sometimes I want to share it with myself. 00:44:50.400 --> 00:44:58.480 Sometimes I want to sit in the park with my laptop, with my little book, with my little notebook, with my little binoculars looking at my birds, with my little joint. 00:44:58.880 --> 00:45:06.159 And maybe I even want to do it in a fucking bathing suit because I want to bathe in the sun, because I like being tan. 00:45:06.400 --> 00:45:10.079 And I found out that being in the sun makes me like myself more. 00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:12.400 Maybe I want to do that for myself. 00:45:12.639 --> 00:45:20.000 And maybe I don't want to be approached by you, a man that I don't know. 00:45:21.039 --> 00:45:23.519 Or maybe I said something too one time. 00:45:24.320 --> 00:45:27.360 This is a thing that is happening to me more and more and more. 00:45:27.440 --> 00:45:29.440 And I really fucking hate it. 00:45:29.679 --> 00:45:31.440 I really hate it. 00:45:31.679 --> 00:45:37.119 And this is as someone who like loves community and wants to connect, but it's like that's not what's

happening here. 00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:38.639 That's not what's happening here. 00:45:38.880 --> 00:45:50.480 And um, and while I think that like, you know, yeah, we all gotta be loving and loving and chasing our hearts and stuff, but it's like there's a thing of self-awareness of like sometimes a girl's just trying to be a girl alone. 00:45:50.800 --> 00:45:57.360 Sometimes a girl's just trying to be a girl alone, and she's giving you no signals to come over here, no signals to come over here. 00:45:57.679 --> 00:46:15.039 And it's this weird thing that manifests both like in my real life, just like being out and about, and online, where and just like in my life, and like I have these opposing feelings, and they're both very strong. 00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:16.559 They're like icy hot. 00:46:16.639 --> 00:46:24.800 You know, you put on icy hot and it's like hot, and then it's icy baby, but they're strong as fuck. 00:46:25.039 --> 00:46:30.960 This is how it feels in my body and my mind, where I'm like, I have a deep desire to express myself. 00:46:31.119 --> 00:46:35.519 I have a deep desire to say, uh, you might ex you might notice being on a podcast of me. 00:46:35.599 --> 00:46:38.000 I here I am talking for 47 minutes on my own. 00:46:38.079 --> 00:46:46.079 Um, I have a deep desire to express, and I have a deep desire to express, yes, and in a naked way, in a very like open, honest, vulnerable way. 00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:51.519 Um, and then I also have the deep desire to be absolutely invisible, please leave me alone. 00:46:51.760 --> 00:46:53.679 Absolutely invisible, please leave me alone. 00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:55.039 Don't overlook at me one time. 00:46:55.840 --> 00:47:02.400 I'm trying to find the balance between these two because neither one alone um will get me what I want in my life. 00:47:02.639 --> 00:47:27.840 And I do think my dreams, um, my dreams require me to be expressing in that way that that where I don't feel like I'm being seen, and especially in a way where I don't feel like I'm being seen by like people who scare me, men who scare me, you know, um, or just like people who are ready and ready, willing, and able and at the edge of their seats to willfully misinterpret me or whatever, you know. 00:47:28.000 --> 00:47:33.840 I have a lot of trauma around willful misinterpretation and like people taking me in bad faith and whatever. 00:47:34.079 --> 00:47:45.920 And and and yeah, I just think like dang, I do think a lot of like sis men don't really have to think about this. 00:47:46.480 --> 00:48:02.639 I'm just like, this is a lot of, you know, I hate that I have in the back of my mind all of the ways in which being a woman um can come back around to hurt me and not like you know, people wielding that against um me. 00:48:02.800 --> 00:48:03.679 I'm just talking about violence. 00:48:03.840 --> 00:48:04.559 I'm just talking about violence. 00:48:04.639 --> 00:48:12.800 And I'm not saying like, oh, I'm scared of every man who comes up to me like in the park and I'm scared that they're gonna do violence onto me. 00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:21.039 I'm not saying that, but like a little bit, a little bit, or at least like I have that feeling more than I than I did before. 00:48:21.119 --> 00:48:30.960 And and it increases as I be um, as I become more and more uh, I guess as more and more people want to access me. 00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:34.320 I don't know what to do with all those feelings. 00:48:34.559 --> 00:48:39.519 Um, but know that if I'm ever really expressing myself honestly and truly, like I it's scary. 00:48:39.599 --> 00:48:40.559 It's scary always to do. 00:48:40.639 --> 00:48:41.840 It's always scary to do. 00:48:42.079 --> 00:48:43.840 Um it's always scary. 00:48:43.920 --> 00:48:45.119 And I wish it wasn't. 00:48:45.199 --> 00:48:54.400 Uh I I wish to understand, I wish to know what it would be like to just be like, yeah, I'm gonna put this thing out. 00:48:54.960 --> 00:48:57.119 I'm just gonna sing from my heart. 00:48:58.559 --> 00:49:04.159 I don't want to feel like whatever it's like to be that guy from the movie obsession, I'm not gonna watch it. 00:49:04.719 --> 00:49:06.239 Have no interest, too scary. 00:49:06.320 --> 00:49:10.960 And and and and I can't, and all right, here we are. 00:49:11.440 --> 00:49:14.800 Enough about me and my fears of being seen. 00:49:16.079 --> 00:49:18.400 Let's get into Hollywood, baby. 00:49:18.719 --> 00:49:27.679 It's been about time that we have to get back into the Hollywood um groove, which is to say, I need to criticize it all. 00:49:28.480 --> 00:49:29.840 Okay, let me get comfortable. 00:49:29.920 --> 00:49:31.280 I'm like, let me take my slides off. 00:49:31.440 --> 00:49:33.039 I gotta kind of settle into this one. 00:49:33.199 --> 00:49:36.000 Oh, well, oh my god, the recliner came out. 00:49:36.880 --> 00:49:42.239 Guys, it's chaos and commotion in this in the studio that is this corner of my fucking apartment. 00:49:42.480 --> 00:49:44.320 Oh, okay, okay, okay. 00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:47.199 Hollywood, baby. 00:49:47.440 --> 00:49:48.320 I need it over. 00:49:48.400 --> 00:49:49.280 I need it done. 00:49:49.599 --> 00:49:49.920 Okay. 00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:54.800 So I'm gonna pose something. 00:49:55.440 --> 00:49:57.840 And I will be posting this on Instagram. 00:49:57.920 --> 00:49:59.119 This is the clip. 00:49:59.679 --> 00:50:07.599 Do you ever feel like you have dreams that you always had since you were even a little tiny um insert what your gender is? 00:50:07.920 --> 00:50:11.440 Uh your identity, of course. 00:50:11.920 --> 00:50:28.320 Do you ever feel like you were whenever when you were a little insert here, um, and you first had the spark of the idea of the dream of of making movies and TV acting and writing and directing and shooting on the camera? 00:50:28.559 --> 00:50:31.840 Hey, maybe you want to do set design, all of these things. 00:50:32.079 --> 00:50:46.320 Do you ever do you ever

think about having that dream, and then you have that dream, and then you you you grow up and and you try to pursue that dream, but then is this does has this ever happened to you? 00:50:46.480 --> 00:50:58.000 You're confronted with the fact that all of the places and spaces that you imagined your dream in, you're saying, wait a minute, uh-oh, it's built by the bad stuff. 00:50:58.239 --> 00:51:00.400 Uh-oh, it's bought by the bad stuff. 00:51:00.639 --> 00:51:01.360 Uh-oh. 00:51:02.239 --> 00:51:09.599 It is all here to perpetuate the agenda of the Zionist entity. 00:51:13.039 --> 00:51:14.719 I don't want to do that. 00:51:15.599 --> 00:51:16.639 Do you ever feel this way? 00:51:16.719 --> 00:51:18.480 I feel this way every single day. 00:51:18.880 --> 00:51:20.639 And I think a lot of us do. 00:51:21.360 --> 00:51:29.599 And I think that we have been given like two options. 00:51:30.320 --> 00:51:31.519 This is what it feels like. 00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:39.760 As someone who's been out here for almost a year now and having these conversations with a different swath of people. 00:51:41.039 --> 00:51:44.960 It's sort of like, well, that's the way it is. 00:51:45.440 --> 00:51:46.880 I don't know how you unravel it. 00:51:46.960 --> 00:51:48.960 You take their money and you do what you can with it. 00:51:49.039 --> 00:51:52.320 Like we've had we've had this discussion on this pod on this very podcast. 00:51:52.719 --> 00:51:57.519 There's sort of that one where it's like, but you still do have to compromise. 00:51:57.760 --> 00:52:05.119 Like, I still do have to slap my name next to Amazon or or any of the others, bad ones, Paramount. 00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:11.119 Or like, sort of like, then I guess you can't have that dream anymore. 00:52:11.440 --> 00:52:12.079 Sorry. 00:52:12.639 --> 00:52:13.760 Try to make something indie. 00:52:13.840 --> 00:52:23.519 And even when you try to make something indie, like it's sort of cascade, you know, the bigger it gets, the, the more, the closer you get to all of the evil corporations of which you were trying to avoid when being indie. 00:52:23.679 --> 00:52:29.840 And even the things that were indie, like the um, you know, the the things that were indie, how long are they gonna stay indie? 00:52:30.079 --> 00:52:33.840 And how and or or are they gonna become A24 bought by Josh Kushner? 00:52:36.719 --> 00:52:38.880 So it's like, okay, do what do we do? 00:52:39.119 --> 00:52:42.320 Give up on your artistic dreams, say, you know what? 00:52:42.480 --> 00:52:56.079 Actually, that was always really indulgent of me, and I'm going to give that up and work at a nonprofit 5013 or get into electoral politics. 00:52:56.239 --> 00:52:59.760 Boo! We're not a fan of electoral politics here. 00:53:00.239 --> 00:53:05.920 Like, you know, I for me, can't I can't see it for me, for me, I can't see it. 00:53:06.079 --> 00:53:10.159 You know, if that were supposed to be my fucking destiny and my dream, like, then that would have been it. 00:53:10.320 --> 00:53:14.079 I've always been inclined towards things of, I guess, quote unquote, social justice. 00:53:14.239 --> 00:53:19.199 I don't even like I don't these terms because you know, uh, this is not political to me. 00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:21.199 None of this shit is political to me. 00:53:21.440 --> 00:53:25.599 Political, it exists in the space of this thing called politics. 00:53:25.760 --> 00:53:30.159 This is human, this is evolution, this is human to human stuff. 00:53:30.400 --> 00:53:44.480 Okay, it is, it is, it matters to me that masses of people are being um murdered and dehumanized by fascist state that is propped up and reflected in our media. 00:53:44.639 --> 00:53:58.159 It matters to me to not perpetuate white supremacy um just because there are only three corporations that are allowing people to like make movies and TV shows. 00:53:58.400 --> 00:53:59.440 That ain't it for me. 00:53:59.599 --> 00:54:01.599 That can't be, those can't be the options. 00:54:01.840 --> 00:54:16.960 You know, like I I I go through these um these I look through jobs, I look, I look at the the landscape, and yeah, I know I talk about it ad nauseum on this podcast, but it really is all copaganda everywhere. 00:54:17.119 --> 00:54:23.679 And even the spaces that would seem like more more neutral when it's all the same money. 00:54:23.920 --> 00:54:45.760 We are not doing we're we are we're letting them use our bodies, our talent, our our ideas, our stories, um, to wash the fucking blood off their hands um for all of the crimes of genocide everywhere. 00:54:47.199 --> 00:55:21.760 When Hollywood only gives you the option of resigning your body and your image and your talents to the like three companies that are funding and producing our demise, who are enforcing white supremacy across the globe, when Hollywood gives you only those options to engage with, then you disengage from Hollywood. 00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:39.920 And I really think that there are people of conscience who are like me, who have had their dreams and who don't know what to do with the un with the tanglement, the entanglement of fascism and propaganda in the places that they once dreamed themselves to be. 00:55:40.159 --> 00:55:42.400 And I think we have another option. 00:55:42.639 --> 00:55:44.239 I know we have another option. 00:55:44.480 --> 00:55:46.719 Me and my friends are talking about it all the time. 00:55:46.880 --> 00:55:48.559 We are building it all the time. 00:55:48.719 --> 00:56:03.679 But it becomes more and more urgent to me as I see a casting call for a power the the new Paramount Plus um mini-series for firefighters for the mini-series of the about the day after 9-11, starring Jeremy Strong. 00:56:03.920 --> 00:56:05.920 Okay, I looked it up straight from deadline. 00:56:06.159 --> 00:56:09.519 The project about ailing 9-11 first responders, David vs. 00:56:09.599 --> 00:56:26.320 Goliath, legal fight for compensation, is one of the

first two series ordered by the streamer's new uh regime, led by chair of DTC Cindy Holland and head of originals Jane Wiseman, who call it, quote, the kind of ambitious, resonant narratives Paramount Plus will champion. 00:56:27.119 --> 00:56:34.320 Okay, all this coming out right after uh Epstein's basically proving to us obviously what we always knew about 9-11, but okay. 00:56:35.119 --> 00:57:00.159 When this type of propaganda is getting geared up, and you know they got me with that one as one of the OG Jeremy Strongheads, when this type of propaganda is getting loaded into the can, and and when and when this merger goes through and all of these things, much like the abuse of Love Island, are normalized, we cannot simply shrug our shoulders and say, Well, I guess this is what it is, and we have to work with what we get. 00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:04.320 No, no, no, no, that is not how you change shit. 00:57:05.679 --> 00:57:09.679 I really don't think it takes that much to change everything. 00:57:10.960 --> 00:57:54.239 I really think it takes a dedicated few, handful, very rich, successful artists of their field, finally saying, you know what, enough is enough and I don't need all of this, and finally doing the work of deconstructing white supremacy and shedding the whiteness that their money has afforded them, shedding the privilege that that money has afforded them, and redistributing it to people who aren't getting a fucking shot at saying shit, who aren't who who aren't getting a shot to to tell their stories that would combat the propaganda that is being shoved down our throats. 00:57:54.559 --> 00:58:01.039 You know, in the same way that I AI isn't inevitable is is not inevitable, neither is fucking Paramount Plus. 00:58:01.440 --> 00:58:03.840 Neither is neither is A24. 00:58:04.000 --> 00:58:10.320 None of these bullshit things that they are using against us are inevitable. 00:58:11.280 --> 00:58:23.039 But if we continue to be like, well, if I do this one Amazon commercial, then it'll fund me for like a year and then I can do my other stuff. 00:58:23.760 --> 00:58:27.280 When we keep doing that, like I get I hear your logic. 00:58:27.760 --> 00:58:28.400 I do. 00:58:28.719 --> 00:58:30.480 I understand it's tough out here. 00:58:30.559 --> 00:58:33.039 They have not given us many options, as I've said. 00:58:33.280 --> 00:58:37.199 But when we keep doing that, then we just keep giving Amazon just keeps getting ya. 00:58:37.519 --> 00:58:39.440 Jeff Bezos just keeps getting ya. 00:58:39.840 --> 00:58:44.880 Oh, I guess I'll just do the AI commercial and then I'll do my art that is powerful. 00:58:46.960 --> 00:58:49.519 Then the AI commercial still got ya. 00:58:50.159 --> 00:58:57.519 Then the AI commercials keep happening, then they keep becoming hip, then it becomes, then it keeps becoming normal, you know? 00:58:57.760 --> 00:59:10.000 Like I just know that there are a lot of people who feel similarly to me, but don't feel like they're able to move any differently. 00:59:10.320 --> 00:59:12.079 And they have to take the scraps that they can. 00:59:12.320 --> 00:59:13.519 And I don't think that's true. 00:59:13.760 --> 00:59:31.440 I think it takes a room full of very rich people spreading their wealth through projects and production companies that are fucking loudly anti-fascist, that have no interest in perpetuating white supremacy and copaganda. 00:59:31.679 --> 00:59:50.719 I think it takes a room full of rich people um divesting from their own privilege to give it to others, and then just the masses finally being like, you know what, I'm not gonna spend$30 on these fuck ass um corporations and they're frankly not good stuff. 00:59:50.880 --> 01:00:10.320 And and I know, I know that they're gonna be feeding me Zionist propaganda bullshit, so I'm not gonna give them my money anymore, and I'm gonna spread this fucking$30 between like three creators um that make me laugh, and I'm gonna help them try to make their stuff because I would rather see that anyways. 01:00:11.360 --> 01:00:14.000 I think it's not that complicated. 01:00:16.320 --> 01:00:18.000 And I want to present that here. 01:00:18.239 --> 01:00:21.599 And hey, comment your project below. 01:00:21.760 --> 01:00:32.800 You gotta strictly anti-fascist, anti-racist, fucking anti-uh misogynist project um from your heart and you need money for it. 01:00:32.960 --> 01:00:48.880 Uh, and you don't want to take a job for like the Home Depot because their money funds ice, but you need to pay your rent, but you want to make your project, comment below, and then hopefully maybe someone with money will give you money, you know? 01:00:49.119 --> 01:00:52.639 Because this is really what happens is like I'm broke as fuck. 01:00:52.800 --> 01:00:58.639 I'm working a part-time job to semi-survive. 01:00:58.960 --> 01:01:02.960 I'm avoiding all my bills, and there's stuff I would like to make. 01:01:03.119 --> 01:01:14.400 Um, and I know that, yeah, probably if I auditioned for like all of the commercials that I see that want some ambiguous curls, um, maybe I would get that money and I could fund it. 01:01:14.639 --> 01:01:19.679 But then they had they got me, they used me. 01:01:19.840 --> 01:01:22.239 I don't want to be used, I don't want to be fucking used. 01:01:22.400 --> 01:01:22.960 That's the thing. 01:01:23.119 --> 01:01:27.519 It becomes extra super triggering to me also because I'm just like, my body, my choice. 01:01:27.599 --> 01:01:28.400 I don't want to be used. 01:01:28.480 --> 01:01:29.679 I don't want to be used. 01:01:29.920 --> 01:01:36.480 And you know, and and especially for these smaller roles where you're like not seeing what the full script is and you're like, I want to just audition for something. 01:01:36.639 --> 01:01:40.320 You're like, but I don't even know the ways in which I'm gonna be used. 01:01:40.559 --> 01:01:48.320 And you know that these corporations are choosing you for a reason, and

it's never a good reason. 01:01:48.800 --> 01:01:50.400 It's not a good reason. 01:01:52.480 --> 01:01:53.599 The Knicks. 01:01:54.639 --> 01:01:56.079 Next topic, the Knicks. 01:01:56.239 --> 01:02:00.639 The Knicks won, and I want basketball like everything else to be free from the corporations. 01:02:00.800 --> 01:02:14.239 Basketball is another um example in which how all of these three corporations are funding our demise, and they are using our talent um to distract us and to wash it and um to fund it. 01:02:14.400 --> 01:02:16.719 Um that fucking sucks. 01:02:16.960 --> 01:02:18.320 I'm over it, I hate it. 01:02:18.480 --> 01:02:21.840 I need more people to stop, more people have power to stop. 01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:24.000 But that's not actually what I'm talking about with the Knicks. 01:02:24.239 --> 01:02:34.880 Really, what I want to talk about with the Knicks is how the parade, the the victory in the streets of New York City after the Knicks won. 01:02:35.679 --> 01:02:37.119 Showed me so much. 01:02:39.679 --> 01:02:41.119 Wanted exemplified. 01:02:41.519 --> 01:02:48.239 There's safety in numbers to do fuck shit when there's safety in numbers. 01:02:49.599 --> 01:02:56.159 You can do a lot of stuff when you're with a lot of people. 01:02:57.760 --> 01:03:01.760 And the NYPD, the seventh largest military in the world. 01:03:02.239 --> 01:03:06.000 The NYPD bigger than some countries' military. 01:03:06.800 --> 01:03:09.440 Even they could not actually contain the masses. 01:03:09.760 --> 01:03:11.920 That was New York after the Knicks win. 01:03:12.639 --> 01:03:20.960 Now I saw some takes that were being like, wow, you guys can come out and pretty much riot for a basketball game and not genocide. 01:03:22.159 --> 01:03:23.679 I don't disagree with this take. 01:03:23.920 --> 01:03:25.039 I mean, of course. 01:03:25.360 --> 01:03:26.400 But this is what I'm saying. 01:03:26.559 --> 01:03:33.840 I want to s I want to represent that take in a more invitational way. 01:03:34.960 --> 01:03:37.280 Or I just a more. 01:03:39.039 --> 01:03:43.119 I just want I want people to understand the gravity of this. 01:03:43.360 --> 01:03:48.880 I want people to look back on this and say, look at all those people in the street. 01:03:49.679 --> 01:03:51.199 Ungovernable. 01:03:53.440 --> 01:03:56.639 What could this mean? 01:03:57.119 --> 01:04:02.079 Now I'm not saying this is ever this is also a thing I will say is pretty much kind of unique to New York. 01:04:02.239 --> 01:04:10.719 The way that New York is landscaped, you know, the the the way that it is that it is um designed, the way it's it's it's um clustered and close. 01:04:10.800 --> 01:04:14.639 And you know, this is a this is a thing you can't have this in in LA, right? 01:04:14.719 --> 01:04:17.679 Like, I mean things are so spread out in in in California. 01:04:17.920 --> 01:04:19.599 But that's just to say New York. 01:04:21.599 --> 01:04:23.280 Very sympathetic marriage. 01:04:24.159

--> 01:04:26.480 And you've got a lot of numbers. 01:04:27.920 --> 01:04:34.960 And that NYPD has been doing some really naughty stuff for a very long time. 01:04:37.039 --> 01:04:41.199 I mean, I do think we need to abolish their asses, as I've been saying for many years now. 01:04:42.719 --> 01:04:46.079 Just consider what it was like to be out on the streets with your fellow man. 01:04:47.280 --> 01:04:51.360 Consider how much that's all I'll say. 01:04:53.119 --> 01:04:57.280 I think that's my cult that's my um Las Culture Rista cat culture catch-up. 01:04:57.679 --> 01:04:59.039 Abuse is everywhere. 01:04:59.199 --> 01:05:09.599 We are being abused by the companies, and um if we stand up for ourselves, they might they might yell at us and say that we were aggressive, like they're saying to Anaya. 01:05:09.840 --> 01:05:13.280 But don't let that stop you from saying no. 01:05:13.519 --> 01:05:17.519 Um, from saying, actually, no, I don't want to do this commercial. 01:05:17.920 --> 01:05:22.960 Actually, no, I don't want to take all of this money to whitewash the crimes of genocide. 01:05:23.199 --> 01:05:23.519 No. 01:05:23.760 --> 01:05:25.039 I mean, here's the thing. 01:05:25.199 --> 01:05:35.840 I am presenting these expectations to people who have no interest in, you know, furthering black liberation, frankly, um, or, you know, which is liberation for all. 01:05:36.079 --> 01:05:56.960 I come to LA with with, here's my problem is I'm a lover, I'm a dreamer, and uh part of my lover and dreamerness is that I reflect until I I wish to reflect until proven wrong onto everybody else's same similar values, where I'm like, well, surely everybody's here for life and love, and everybody's seeing the ways in which um they're perpetuating violence. 01:05:57.119 --> 01:06:01.679 Um and and and and and surely everybody's trying to find a way out. 01:06:02.000 --> 01:06:03.119 Fortunately, uh not true. 01:06:03.280 --> 01:06:04.960 Unfortunately, not true for everybody. 01:06:05.119 --> 01:06:06.239 I'm learning this. 01:06:06.400 --> 01:06:08.400 Um, I'm learning this. 01:06:09.360 --> 01:06:13.920 But I do think it's true for some, and the people that it's true for need to do it loudly. 01:06:14.079 --> 01:06:21.199 We need to continue to do it loudly, and yeah, get some of these rich people of conscience. 01:06:21.440 --> 01:06:22.320 Do they exist? 01:06:23.039 --> 01:06:24.559 I guess that's the question. 01:06:26.000 --> 01:06:27.119 Are you a rich person? 01:06:27.280 --> 01:06:28.400 Wait, where's the camera? 01:06:29.840 --> 01:06:31.840 Are you a rich person of conscience? 01:06:32.079 --> 01:06:36.960 Are you tired of fascism permeating its way? 01:06:37.280 --> 01:06:38.880 And it's not even permeating, right? 01:06:39.039 --> 01:06:43.920 Because fascism did build the propaganda machine that is Hollywood today. 01:06:44.159 --> 01:06:50.880 Um, you know, cop shows began because of they were being funded by the LAPD. 01:06:51.119 --> 01:06:58.559 Like, do you do you are you a rich person of consciousness who doesn't like propaganda and doesn't like how all this this stuff's going with the merger? 01:06:58.639 --> 01:07:08.400 And and you really think like people should be getting to do art that is expressive of um their unique perspectives, aka non-white perspectives. 01:07:08.559 --> 01:07:21.280 Um, and and do you do you also wish that people didn't have to choose between not pursuing their dreams and selling their body um to the Zionist state to further um white supremacy? 01:07:21.519 --> 01:07:23.760 Do you wish all of those things were untrue? 01:07:24.000 --> 01:07:26.079 Well, hey, I have a solution for you. 01:07:26.239 --> 01:07:36.960 Um fund a fund a person who fund a person that is that is is trying to make art that is anti-fascist and has nowhere um to to put it but online. 01:07:37.519 --> 01:07:52.239 Uh uh give fun fund a person who who would have been able to easily pay for their rent if they took the series regular job on the cop show, but they don't want to because of how they don't want to perpetuate white supremacy. 01:07:52.320 --> 01:07:56.239 Um and so now they're doing something else and not and barely getting by. 01:07:56.400 --> 01:08:01.519 Give that person some money because maybe then they could pay their rent and and pursue their dream as well. 01:08:01.679 --> 01:08:08.719 And their dream of expressing themselves in this way could also help other people to see themselves and pursue their dreams. 01:08:08.880 --> 01:08:29.840 And when you have a lot of l people um pursuing their dreams that are inherently decolonial dreams, like anti-fascist dreams, and they're expressing them out loud for the world to see, and the world is seeing more representations of like a decolonized mind and perspective on life, then I do then then guess what? 01:08:29.920 --> 01:08:32.399 You're you're funding the fucking revolution, baby. 01:08:32.560 --> 01:08:35.840 And and I do think that it turns into real real change. 01:08:36.079 --> 01:08:42.800 Um I'm literally I'm pleading pleading with the this is the nicest I could ask the white person. 01:08:43.039 --> 01:08:44.399 I mean the rest person.