TRASCRIZIONE 🔗
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Before I was the cool smiley guy with the bees, I was just a badass kid.
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My mom was just trying to get me away from the bullshit.
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She didn't realize that I was the bullshit.
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I never got in trouble for the shit I should have got in trouble for.
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No matter how deep your tragedy is, what you're going through, there's someone in the world who doesn't care.
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I'm sitting in the room with the dead body of your loved one, and I'm in the back, like, man, I'm just trying to run the store real quick.
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There was a fire last night in Southwest, and everybody died.
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So they moved into a hospice, and she was just like, I'm so sorry.
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I said, what the fuck does that mean?
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I just started bawling because I was like, damn, I ain't never gonna be able to do that.
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With my old man again.
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Shots.
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I go look out the window.
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Kid got shot in his head.
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He's like, yeah, yeah, get the fuck out of here.
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I'd rather harm other people because maybe it'll make me feel better about what I'm going through.
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Dark side.
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If you had an opportunity to say one more thing to him, what would you say?
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Sorry.
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Thank you.
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This story hasn't been told yet.
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This can't just be for me to know.
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My name is Armani White, and this is my villain origin story.
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Welcome to Villain Origin Stories.
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My name is TK.
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I'm your host.
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I would like to thank all of you for watching and supporting.
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Our team is doing our best to bring the best interviews and the best guests to VOS.
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Thank you very much.
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So according to your subject research dossier, it says your name is Enoch Armani Tobert.
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Is that correct?
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That's correct.
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All right.
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And you are from West Philadelphia?
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Yes, sir.
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Cool.
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And you would like to join
Load full transcript
Dark Side?
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It'd be a pleasure.
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All right.
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So here at Dark Side, um, we're oftentimes forced to make very difficult choices.
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So I'm gonna present you with a couple choices.
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Answer truthfully.
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There is no right or wrong answer.
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So whatever you decide to come up with is your truth.
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This first one is called the predictive prison.
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Scientists invent an AI that predicts violent crimes with 100% accuracy before they will happen.
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The government arrests a citizen because the AI dictates that they will commit a murder tomorrow.
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You are the judge.
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If you release them, an innocent person dies.
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If you lock them up, you imprison someone who has technically done nothing wrong yet.
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Do you release them or convict them?
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You release them.
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I feel like you don't you can't put somebody in jail for something that they ain't do yet.
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Um because if that was the case, like a lot of people would be in jail.
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And then at some point you gotta have that you gotta give human beings that fork in the road to decide if they gonna go this way or go that way, but you can't make that decision for 'em.
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Even if it was a hundred percent.
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But what really is a hundred percent though?
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Like you know what I mean?
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Like what what what's happened that you can say for sure that you knew was gonna happen beforehand?
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I don't know.
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It's not that many preventative measures that that could have stopped like a lot of tragedies from happening.
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Do you have any uh experience with maybe being demonized for something before you actually did it?
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Yeah, I was demonized for a lot of things.
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I was demonized for a lot of things in regards to the You understand.
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I grew up before I was the cool smiley guy with the bees, I was just a badass kid.
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And then when my mom moved me from the hood to the suburbs, I was just a badass kid over there.
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So a lot of times I wasn't even the kid that you could hang with.
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Just because of predictive measures of like, oh, I know he's gonna do something.
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And this is while growing up in West Philly.
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Yeah.
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Do you feel like you being a bad kid was being a product of your environment, or was it just you as an individual?
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Product of the environment.
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Product of the environment.
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Like in Philly, it's really like a you just gotta eat or be eaten.
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Like it's it's one of those type of things, prayer be prayed on.
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So like when you was younger, we just thought of it like we didn't really think about what was going on, what we was doing, how it impacted anything.
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It was just like it was just a code of conduct and we was just following protocol.
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Like I was a good kid.
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I was a I was a weird kid.
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I was a weird kid at heart.
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I was super weird when I was in the house.
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It was just that when I left the house, the people who I was around, it just ended up being that.
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Yeah.
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I think for me, I also at a young age just experienced what I grew up later and realized was trauma.
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But I didn't really, I had this feeling like nobody could understand me.
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So if nobody could understand me, then nobody can correct me when I'm doing something wrong because they don't know what I've been through to make me do that.
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And not to jump ahead, but obviously I'm a black man living in America.
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You're a black man living in America, and there's a lot of prejudice and a lot of stereotypes and preconceived notions about the types of people that we are, regardless of the circumstances or the cars that we've been dealt.
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What has been your experience being a black man in America dealing with these types of prejudices?
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Because you've already said that, you know, to a degree, a lot of that stuff might have been true based on your circumstances where you come from, uh, the way that you had to behave or carry yourself in order to either fit in or to survive.
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So how do you feel like now as an older person, but still potentially dealing with uh some of that same backlash?
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And that's the thing is like I never got in trouble for this shit I should have got in trouble for.
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I'm so calm now, like I'm chilling.
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I play Mario Kart and shit like that.
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But now, you know, just last year I got arrested for being black.
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My, you know, going to jail for just for like nothing actually happened.
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It's just, oh yeah, you on the side of the road in the wrong neighborhood and that's your skin tone.
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Um, you start to experience that where it's like, damn, nigga, like, man, if y'all would have pulled up maybe like 15 years ago, you might have a case, but like now it ain't really, you know.
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I had to, I had to learn that though.
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I had to learn that because in Philly you have, you have white people, but like white culture, I guess, if that's a thing, doesn't exist in Philly.
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It's like there's Italians, and then it's just everything else, like the what Philadelphia culture is Italians.
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There's like Phillies that say yews and shit like that, like that, like the ones that, you know, talk like they say uh water and shit like that, like those type of people.
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But then you have majorities, primarily black people, it's Muslims, it's like, you know, it's just a whole bunch of that.
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So uh I never got to experience racism until later in life.
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You know what I mean?
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I didn't, I didn't really see, my mom moved to uh in high school.
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My mom was just trying to get me away from the bullshit.
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She didn't realize that I was the bullshit.
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And so she would move me from one neighborhood and I would just end up getting in something, then move me to another neighborhood.
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I just end up getting in stuff, and she moved me at some point to just like all white.
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It was all white.
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And at that point, we like out of the city.
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That's when I'm like, oh shit, racism is a thing.
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Like, that's like that's not just some shit y'all talk about, like in class.
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Like, this is still going on, you know?
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So you talked about your mom, you talked about growing up in Philly, um, moving to different areas.
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I'm from DC, so I've spent a lot of time in Philly.
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Yeah.
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I've had a lot of Philly nights.
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I know how it gets down.
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I love the culture out there.
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So this is uh this is a very interesting story for me.
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What was your household like growing up?
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So we talked about what it was like outside, but what was it like in your home, uh, your family dynamics?
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How did you grow up?
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I didn't have one house that I grew up in.
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So I grew up.
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Um, I
had my mom's house, obviously, uh, it's me and my sister.
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Then it was my dad's house.
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And my dad's house was on Catherine Street.
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That's where I like that was where I had my childhood at was outside, like the whole block knew me as Jeep Jeep.
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That was my childhood nickname.
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And uh my mom moved around a little bit, and I had an aunt, um, my aunt Kathy.
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She lived in South Philly for the majority of um of my childhood, and then she moved to um Southwest.
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But those houses, all three of those houses, and my mom split between, like she, my mom was moving to a bunch of different houses, but uh she also had a place with my aunt Marmar on 50s, again on 52nd Street off of Cat, like three blocks down from Catherine on Addison Street.
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So I spent a lot of my time between Catherine and Addison Street, like a three, four block radius, and then South Philly with my aunt and with my mom.
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But yeah, it was a loving, I was a little more or less, but it was just like the love was dispersed.
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Yeah, for sure.
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I think, and I had I can resonate that with that a lot because growing up, I had to move from different places early in life, left living with my mom to go live with my grandparents.
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And I think at an early age, what that can do is cause you to grow up very quickly because you have to learn to be quick on your feet and adapt to different environments, even if it is your family members and a loving environment.
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So how old was your mom when she had you?
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My mom was 28 when she had.
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28.
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Yeah.
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I mean, you don't realize, like, I mean, now that we like 28 and shit, like you realize, like, damn, we still kids.
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You know what I mean?
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And so, like, when you're a kid, you look at a 28-year-old like a full-grown adult.
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But I think it it makes that that's what happens often.
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It's like no real, you know, like how many people you think is like just, oh no, it was just me and my mom, and we just figured that shit out.
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Like, it's like most people spend time split.
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I I agree with that a hundred percent.
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Cause I'm I have uh an eight-year-old.
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Yeah, and uh he was born when I was really young.
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Yeah.
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And I'm like, dang, I'm older, I'm younger having a kid than my mom was when she had me.
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Yeah.
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When I was seven, eight years old, I thought she was like super old.
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You know what I mean?
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I thought she was super mature.
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And I think about what it would have been like to be in her shoes at that time, you know, as a black woman living in the UK, single, raising a boy.
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You gotta really look at your parents if they are the people that are present in your life and making those sacrifices and taking care of you as superheroes.
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You were living in the UK.
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I I was born in Rhode Island, but I moved to the UK when I was really young.
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So I lived in the UK until I was about eight or nine years old.
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Gotcha.
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But it's great to know that even though you moved around, uh you were in a loving household.
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I would say, what did your household or your households, what did they sound like while you were growing up?
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What was the music that they were listening to?
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Uh about to say the household was chaos.
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The household.
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They loved me, but it was chaos.
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It was tough love for sure.
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Um the music, James Brown.
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My mom only listened to, my mom only listened to James Brown, Kirk Franklin, Michael Jackson, and WDAS is the radio station out there.
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That was a shit Steve Harvey morning show.
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Um, and my dad was where I had to go find rap music.
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He listened.
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That was where I got all my Eminem CDs.
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My mom would buy the clean version, he would get me the dirty version.
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And uh now I'm discovering now, I'm discovering like ludicrous, yin-yang twins.
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He had a um, he had a Jeep, and then he switched the Jeep over to the Specifica, but he cranked the shit up until you get tinnitus.
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Like your ears all the way, you know.
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Um, and so that was where I listened to a lot of that.
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And then with my aunts, my aunt Kathy, that was a little more like Philly had its own scene at the time.
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So you had Meek, you had Reed Dallas, you had Joe Giatt, like all of that like DVD scene.
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Um, we just listened to that.
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We had our own little culture.
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So it was like, you know, and it felt homegrown.
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It felt
like we were attached to it.
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Before we got on this point, you said that your house was actually chaos.
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I want to jump back into that real quick.
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Because that was that was a quick one.
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So it was a loving household, but there was a lot of chaos.
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Can you speak to what that chaos?
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They love they loved me.
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My household loved me.
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My household at the same time wasn't the most, I mean, it was just it was a single parent household.
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So you had to imagine something happened.
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Like, my father and my mom, they had a very tumultuous relationship that she she hates me even talking about it, but like they their thing was they just clashed a lot.
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So majority of my early childhood was me watching things be good and then be really bad, and then things be good and then really bad.
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What made me even f feel like writing music was me screaming for my mom, like, and my mom and my dad were arguing, get into a fight or whatever, um, not physical, but get into it, and I'm screaming for somebody to like stop, stop, stop.
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It never happened.
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And at that point, I was like, my voice doesn't work.
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My, you know, anytime I speak, it's not actually clicking, it's not connecting, so I stopped speaking.
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I just for a while, it was just like I I have nothing, no words.
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It wasn't until I started writing music that I felt like the voice that I was trying to, you know, portray or or like yell in that moment was actually coming back to me.
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But it was a lot of, I think it was it was tough love amongst the entire, like, just the community.
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It was because we weren't in like, my mom was in a uh, you know, very good situation.
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My mom twice graduated, I want to say, like, master's degree.
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So, like, like my mom, very educated woman.
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Uh, my dad dropped out of high school, um, he was selling drugs, like, you know, moving through the streets at one point.
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Um, and my aunt, she was, she had a uh heart on her for the most of, you know, for the majority of the time.
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So growing up between different households, it was like my mom was like sometimes a piece, you know, serenity, but a lot of times we just butt head.
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So I would go away and go to the places that weren't as well built and put together.
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And yeah.
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That's a unique perspective, which I'm sure a lot of people can resonate with, but we always kind of talk about uh and glamorize and glorify what it's like to grow up in a two-parent household.
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Yeah.
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But there is something unique there about when you do grow up with your parents being split up, there's almost like two different universes that you can kind of jump in and out of.
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I never really thought about the idea of like, okay, well, you know, because I my father was in my life, but I wasn't able to spend a lot of time with him, either because of distance or because of schedule.
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So if me and my mom did butt heads, it wasn't a situation where I could go to like my dad's house, and it would be a different environment altogether.
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So I I think that's a really um unique perspective.
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It's it's cool.
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It's like, cause you gotta understand, like, my mom had moved to a suburb outside of Philly when I was in middle school.
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Uh, and I was still in Philly.
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So I'm taking trips back and forth to Philly to the suburb.
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When I'm in Philly, everybody doing this.
00:15:06.159 --> 00:15:08.960
Niggas is throwing, throwing shit at the cars driving by.
00:15:09.039 --> 00:15:13.679
We running out and doing this, this, and that, that, that home, he robbed niggas and he steal cars out.
00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:21.279
So my mentality is like, if I do the little bit amount of shit, I'm not that bad because these niggas do a lot of shit.
00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:23.679
And I take that mentality to the suburbs.
00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:30.080
Now I'm fucking up because, you know, that ain't really what the like just the course of action is over there.
00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:38.559
So um, so then at a time, I start becoming a part of the seas being planted around what's making this area bad.
00:15:38.639 --> 00:15:39.440
You get what I'm saying?
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:51.279
But it's really the root of it, is like you had, I found a lot of other Philly kids that was either moved there or, you know, like their the parents, they found a loophole of like I can get my kid out of the Philly school system and put them in this nicer school system.
00:15:51.360 --> 00:15:52.720
And that's what my mom did.
00:15:52.879 --> 00:15:55.679
And eventually, if the school system finds out, they kick you out.
00:15:55.840 --> 00:16:00.000
But for that little moment when they don't find out, we just riding a high and we just fucking shit up.
00:16:00.799 --> 00:16:01.120
For sure.
00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:07.519
Yeah, where I um went to middle school and high school, it's a place called Laurel, Maryland, in Peachee County.
00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:08.000
Yep, I know where.
00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:11.200
And
uh, it's right in the middle of DC and Baltimore.
00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:19.440
So if you're like an inner city kid and you're the same situation, your parents are like, okay, we want to move to the suburbs, they tend to move to Laurel because it's like right in the middle.
00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:23.519
So we had a lot of kids that were from DC, from Southeast, from Northeast.
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.440
We had kids that were from Baltimore.
00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:28.720
And uh it was it was kind of a melting pot in that way.
00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:32.879
It was like those were the kids that were coming, they would have that like inner city energy.
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:37.279
Um, but then there were also kids from where we were from that wanted to be from where they were from.
00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:37.759
Exactly.
00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:42.080
So it was like uh, you know, everyone was kind of competing to see who could be like the hardest and stuff like that.
00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:43.200
So that's interesting.
00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:56.879
So going back to the music, um, your father, well, you both of your parents introduced you to hip hop, but I also think it was really special where you talked about the fact that when they would argue, your voice wasn't really heard in those moments.
00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:04.960
And how eventually you kind of turned to hip-hop as a place to express yourself and really voice, yeah, voice who you were.
00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:07.759
What was the content that you were rapping about?
00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:09.759
It says you started rapping in second grade, is that correct?
00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:10.720
Yeah, yeah, I wasn't rapping by.
00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:13.200
What was the content that you were rapping about?
00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:27.200
Were you rapping about what was happening in your household or just um a little bit, like I touch on it, but it was more like when I was in second grade, I thought that uh I still didn't have a separation.
00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:28.160
I still don't to this day.
00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:32.880
I still didn't I didn't have a separation between cartoon and reality.
00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:37.440
So in my head, when I wrote, I was writing as a cartoon character.
00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:46.400
I was like, my brain was like, at some point I'm gonna turn into a Super Saiyan, or like at some point in my life, I'm gonna go Super Saiyan, I'm gonna turn into Sonic the Hedgehog.
00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:47.519
I don't fucking know what it is.
00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:59.519
But I would write these songs almost as if I was these people or in these people's universes, and I would like go, can I put these Disney characters against these Cartoon Network characters and just make them like go to war with each other?
00:17:59.599 --> 00:18:05.599
And uh that that was more so like just exercising over time, that was where it started.
00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:21.440
By fifth grade was when I started
to rap a little bit more about like household and you know, and like I started to have form actual opinions, what's going on in my life, like what like I'm able to understand this and articulate it and vocalize it.
00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:28.400
And um, by then that's when the music became a little more like it started to describe the environment more than anything.
00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:30.160
It started to become the rough exterior music.
00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:32.000
50 Cent was cool as fuck at the time.
00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:35.519
So it was like, damn, this is like, this shit is cool.
00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:49.200
Um and it's fucked up because like, you know, now I see a bunch of, I'm glad watching like hip-hop evolve into this thing where everybody's more mature, niggas got girlfriends, niggas got, you know what I'm saying, fathers and shit.
00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:58.319
When hip-hop was hip-hop at my age, like a little ass kid, it was no girlfriends, no wives, and no dads, nigga.
00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:08.559
And like me and my dad was already, it was rocky, not because of our relationship actually being rocky, but their relationship being rocky, and I would just push that on to my dad.
00:19:08.720 --> 00:19:14.640
My mom would tell me not to, but I would still just be like, nah, nigga, you ain't, like, I just need an excuse to not like you.
00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:15.920
You feel me?
00:19:16.079 --> 00:19:18.960
And um, so I started to just rap about all of that.
00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:22.559
I started to put, you know, try and put those things, those thoughts in a paper.
00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:31.519
Most people know me as a singer, but um, I had a somewhat extensive early rap career, and I kind of started rapping in high school.
00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:38.720
I I like there were a lot of talented rappers that went to my school at the time, like local artists, and I wanted to be like them.
00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:48.640
So I would be in like computer class writing raps and stuff, and it would uh it would be anything that I could do to be more like Lil Wayne and what he did on like there.
00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:50.400
And all that was a thing.
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:54.960
And you're right, to the point of like uh the role models that were presented to us.
00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:57.759
I think the only rapper that had a wife was Jay-Z.
00:19:58.079 --> 00:19:58.240
Yeah.
00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:00.000
And I mean, we know Beyoncé, yeah.
00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:06.799
So it was like if you're gonna have a wife, is gonna be the most successful woman in the music industry, essentially.
00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:13.440
So, but one thing that also helped me kind of develop my uh my skill set was rapping in church.
00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:19.359
So joined like if we had a little rap group in church or whatever, and I was kind of learned under the guys that were working.
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:24.319
Um, it says here that you, your family had a presence in church and you kind of grew up in church as well.
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:27.440
Can you talk to me about what that was like and how it had an impact on the church?
00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:28.319
I sang in church.
00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:29.680
I did the, I did the opposite.
00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:34.480
I sang in church, but then I um our church was in the hood.
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:36.559
It was on 40th and Baron Street, still is.
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:38.720
Um, and me and my homie Hawk.
00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:43.519
Um, Hawk lived in a project, or he lived in a street home across the street, but he hung out in the projects.
00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:46.319
He was like a, like he was of that environment.
00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:48.079
Hawk is who taught me.
00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:50.240
He taught me how to download instrumentals.
00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:51.920
He told me like where to find them.
00:20:52.000 --> 00:21:02.240
And he would just, I would download them on a CD, and then we just sit in my mom's car in the parking lot, and we just play the CD and rap, just go back and forth rapping songs or whatever.
00:21:02.319 --> 00:21:04.640
Then we go in the bathroom, we be rap in the bathroom.
00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:13.440
I got, I got a video on my old, I don't know what hard drive, what flash drive, but it's a video of us all in the bathroom just rapping uh at the church.
00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:17.920
But that was, that was a lot of where it started at with the rap, but I also, I was just singing.
00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:22.000
So I was, we had uh Greater Faith was um our church.
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:29.759
We also split, my family grew up in uh House of Prayer churches, so I also split my time between Greater Faith, my first time being baptized, was in the house of prayer.
00:21:29.839 --> 00:21:39.440
I'm not sure if you're familiar with House of Prayer, but it's like like James Brown's and Braxton's and all of those, like they all go to the house of prayer, and they had like these big horn sections.
00:21:39.519 --> 00:21:43.759
So all of like, you know, my uncles, they all played a tr uh trombone trumpet.
00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:50.240
Um, grandfather, he played a trombone, like all of them played brass instruments in the house of prayer.
00:21:50.319 --> 00:21:54.319
And I wanted to play a brass instrument so bad when I was a kid, bro.
00:21:54.480 --> 00:21:55.119
But yeah.
00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:56.880
Did you ever end up playing?
00:21:57.119 --> 00:21:59.279
I tried trumpet for like three weeks, it was over.
00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:01.119
That's crazy.
00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:03.440
The bugs on my lips, I'm cool.
00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:04.480
Exact same.
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:09.359
I I tried Trumpet as well, but they my family got tired of me making so much time.
00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:16.079
I think it's um, you know, something that we don't necessarily talk enough about is the impact of church in the black community.
00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:28.720
Now there's like there's a lot of good to be said about it, there's a lot of bad to be said about it, but uh regardless of where you stand on that, I think there is a lot to be said about how it is an incubator for um talent.
00:22:28.799 --> 00:22:30.319
It's an incubator for community.
00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:35.920
If you think of all of like the best musicians in the industry, a lot of them had their start in church, right?
00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:49.519
We I had an interview uh with someone previously where we talked about how church was a community center and it was a space where for a lot of our parents, um it was probably their only source of social interaction with other people.
00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:50.799
So I never thought of it like that.
00:22:51.119 --> 00:23:00.799
So it's always cool to see um how church continues to have an impact on uh people and how they take the things that they learn there into their greater development.
00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:06.960
One of the deepest things I learned from church, um, I ran the soundboard at the church.
00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:15.200
But what that meant was not just running the soundboard on Sundays, that was running choir rehearsal on Thursdays, and that was running the funerals on Saturday.
00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:18.640
And I would be there every Saturday for a funeral.
00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:23.119
People come in crying, holding their moms, holding their grandparents and everything.
00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:28.079
And I'd be in the back, my my Nintendo DS, you know what I'm saying?
00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:31.279
Like playing and playing video games, playing it on the Game Boy Advance.
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:41.200
And in that moment, I realized though, no matter how deep your tragedy is, what you're going through, there's someone in the world who doesn't care.
00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:48.480
Like they're just completely disconnected, completely like desensitized to whatever it is you're going through, because that doesn't mean anything to them.
00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:50.079
It doesn't impact their actual life.
00:23:50.160 --> 00:23:56.559
So I'm sitting in the room with the dead body of your loved one, and I'm in the back, like, man.
00:23:56.720 --> 00:23:58.559
I'm just trying to run this store real quick.
00:23:58.640 --> 00:23:59.519
Like, you know what I'm saying?
00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:04.079
And this is like one of the most painful days of your life, and I can't even connect to it.
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:12.319
Uh, but I had to learn that in those moments, like, and it was, it was just helpful for me with learning how to like deal with my own trauma and like push it out.
00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:17.759
It's like, yo, you can try and be destructive all you want, but somebody doesn't care.
00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:20.160
You know, somebody's not that understanding.
00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:21.359
Yeah, there's two sides of that.
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:24.640
One is
the side of like learning to have as much empathy as you can.
00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:25.200
Absolutely.
00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:30.559
Um, but the other side is that a lot of the things that you deal with and you go through are for you.
00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:35.039
And it doesn't necessarily matter how many other people want to share the same sentiment as you.
00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:39.839
I guess as long as you're able to express yourself, that's kind of the most important thing on an individual level.
00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:43.680
All right, church, church is definitely that's crazy the church being a community center.
00:24:43.759 --> 00:24:44.480
That's that's cool.
00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:48.640
At what point did you decide that you wanted to be an entertainer, right?
00:24:48.799 --> 00:24:55.039
So, like you got these reps singing in church, working uh on the sound team, media team, for example.
00:24:55.279 --> 00:25:00.079
Your parents introduce you to different music, you're rapping as a place of expression.
00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:04.079
When did you decide, okay, I actually wanna be a rapper?
00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:05.279
That early.
00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:07.680
I was like fifth, sixth grade.
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:11.039
I was, I was trying to get, I started a rap group with all my friends.
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:12.720
It was me, Malcolm, Jameer.
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:14.960
Like, I remember it, and I was writing they raps.
00:25:15.039 --> 00:25:16.640
I'm like, yo, look, this is the group name.
00:25:16.720 --> 00:25:18.160
We used to call Bootleg Productions.
00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:24.079
I was like, this is the group name, and I need, you know, you gonna do this, you gonna rap about this, then I'm gonna rap about this, you gonna do the hooks.
00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:26.160
Uh, my homie Reese, he was gonna do the hooks.
00:25:26.240 --> 00:25:29.519
Like, right that early, I was like, I'm gonna be a rapper.
00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:32.000
I don't know how, I have no idea how this goes.
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:36.240
Uh my mom, she knew uh Kenny Gamble.
00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:41.759
Uh, my grandmom knew Kenny Gamble, so they sent, like, they're there, she'd be like, burn a CD, I'm gonna bring it to Kenny Gamble.
00:25:41.839 --> 00:25:46.480
Like, you know, so in my head, I was like, somehow, some way, I'm gonna get to this point.
00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:51.200
I have no idea how, what the roadmap is, but that's the landing strip.
00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:51.759
Wow.
00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:56.880
Were your community members, your family, uh, your friends, were they supportive?
00:25:57.119 --> 00:25:57.680
Fuck no.
00:25:58.319 --> 00:25:58.720
What?
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:02.559
Um, I had a homie named Keem.
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:10.000
I had a homie named Keem who Keem used to uh sell weed with me at the gas station.
00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:12.799
And Keem would, we would take turns.
00:26:12.880 --> 00:26:17.839
His mom got him a uh a
mic, like a hundred dollar mic off of eBay.
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:23.119
So we would take turns, one of us would like put it in little bags and press record, and the other one would rap.
00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:25.759
And we'd do it for an hour, and then be like, all right, yo, it's my turn.
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:30.000
And then I and then I would rap, and he would bag it up and then take turns recording it.
00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:36.720
And I don't even know if I was actually, he might have been more probably pushing it more than I was, but like that was my studio setup at the time.
00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:37.839
It was like we was recording it.
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:39.599
And back then you didn't have compressors and shit.
00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:44.240
You just recorded your vocals three times until it sounded big on the record.
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:49.200
And yeah, but nobody, nobody made it, you know?
00:26:49.359 --> 00:26:52.880
Like nobody, no, nobody came out alive and was like, yo, we actually gonna be a rapper.
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:57.119
King used to lie to me and tell me that, yo, man, like my cousin is in state property.
00:26:57.279 --> 00:26:58.720
I got it, as we gonna get on.
00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:05.359
Like, and you know, but it just, it was, it became a thing where it just started seeming further and further away from what was actually gonna happen.
00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:08.319
My uncle was a rapper.
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:12.559
My other uncle, he was his DJ or producer or whatever.
00:27:12.799 --> 00:27:20.000
Um, other uncle is a singer, like music was just running through my entire family, but it never worked out.
00:27:20.240 --> 00:27:23.519
So by the time it got to me, I'm telling my mom that shit.
00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:25.839
Boy, if you don't shut the fuck up.
00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:26.480
You know what I'm saying?
00:27:26.559 --> 00:27:35.519
And it wasn't it was from a place of love, but it was just like, I've seen how many of my brothers waste their life trying to chase this thing and it not work out.
00:27:35.599 --> 00:27:44.480
I'd rather you actually have something set up for yourself rather than you just run at this thing and then nothing happens and you just sitting there like, oh, well, I gave it all, you know, I gave it all I had.
00:27:44.799 --> 00:27:53.519
What do you think it is that leads, I have I have thoughts, but what is it that you think leads us to want to chase those things?
00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:58.720
Because it's always, you know, we hear the thing, it's like it's always like become a ball player or become a rapper.
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:06.799
From your experience growing up in Philly, what what do you feel like led your uncles and your brothers and your friends to want to try and chase those things as well?
00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:09.039
I think rap was popping at the time.
00:28:09.119 --> 00:28:09.920
Like rap was cool.
00:28:10.079 --> 00:28:15.119
Rap was, you know, my uncles, when they was doing it, it was the 80s and 90s, rap was like becoming rap.
00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:18.000
Uh, so they probably, they was watching it.
00:28:18.079 --> 00:28:20.480
My uncle would tell me, like, yo, you can go up on this corner sometime.
00:28:20.559 --> 00:28:28.480
Like, Will used to be up on the corner battling, him and the Overbrook boys, and then you we take a train up to New York and you see LL Cool J, and they was out there battling.
00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:34.880
So it was like, that shit, you know, that shit was like trading cars nowadays, or that shit was like, yo, we all going to a party.
00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:37.759
Instead of going to a party, we going to go link up in freestyle.
00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:44.400
Like, I still remember when I was a kid, this is where it's dying off, but like you, we went to the movies one day, and I'm outside, my mom is like looking for me.
00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:47.279
I'm outside because somebody was battling outside of the movie theater.
00:28:47.359 --> 00:28:48.720
I'm just out there watching it as a kid.
00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:51.839
Like, and I gotta be like fourth grade, fifth grade, but just watching the battle.
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:58.799
But you, rap was still this thing, this phenomenon that lived and breathed in the outside world.
00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:04.960
So I think for us early on, or for them early on, that's probably what made them run to it.
00:29:05.039 --> 00:29:11.359
For me, everything that I was going through at an early age, I was like, this can't just be for me to know.
00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:20.960
Like this story that I have, it has to be able to help somebody else, you know, because there was no other person like me from Philadelphia.
00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:21.839
There was Will Smith.
00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:23.519
That was the only North Star that I had.
00:29:23.599 --> 00:29:27.599
But Will Smith was like, and you hear about it, it was like, Will Smith was the good kid.
00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:32.480
And I don't think like they did a really good job of keeping Will Smith away from the bullshit.
00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:33.839
He was the good kid.
00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:36.480
And for me, I was like, I'm the really good kid.
00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:38.559
They got in some bullshit.
00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:48.319
And I didn't want to be in the bullshit, but that was when you started to realize, like, this story hasn't been told yet, you know, and that's where I was like, I have to, I have to do it.
00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:54.960
Yeah, it's so cool to hear you kind of talk about uh, you know, some of the predecessors in Philly and Overbrook.
00:29:55.119 --> 00:30:02.240
Actually, when I first moved to LA, I was writing and producing for Will, for Jaden and Willow, uh working with Overbrook too.
00:30:02.559 --> 00:30:06.799
So I got a lot of those like early, you know, West Philly stories and stuff like that.
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:16.880
So uh not to
jump fully ahead, but like what is your relationship now with people from Philly and also, I guess, some of the greats that have come out of Philly as well.
00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:17.920
There's always love.
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:21.200
I like I think I was just with Black Thought uh a couple weeks ago.
00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:22.240
This is my favorite rapper.
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:23.519
Yeah, my favorite rapper too.
00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:27.039
And it's funny because he watched me from being like, yo, uh Mr.
00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:28.160
Black Thought, can I get a picture?
00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:39.279
Watched me going from that to where I am now, and it's me, Black Thought, and um, and P Funk is uh one of the guys from um from Batcase Studios in Philly that was like where Meek and everybody recorded at.
00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:50.480
And P Funk remembers me from like, I was like, yo, bro, like I had a it was a competition they did in Philly, and I was like, man, like the ticket, there was like sell, sell, what is like sell 15 tickets to get a spot.
00:30:50.559 --> 00:30:51.119
Remember those shoes?
00:30:51.200 --> 00:30:51.359
Yeah.
00:30:53.039 --> 00:30:53.839
Oh man.
00:30:54.319 --> 00:31:02.160
I did one of them, and I was like, yo, I only sold 10 tickets, but I got some weed, I can give y'all some, I can get y'all some green, and then that'd pay for the rest.
00:31:02.319 --> 00:31:04.240
And he's like, man, nah, come on, don't even worry about it, man.
00:31:04.319 --> 00:31:04.960
I'll let you on.
00:31:05.119 --> 00:31:07.440
And I remember rapping my rapping my little heart out.
00:31:07.519 --> 00:31:08.960
I'm like 14 years old.
00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:13.680
And P Funk was like, yo, it's cool, man, but like, do you have a lisp?
00:31:14.319 --> 00:31:17.359
Oh man, nigga, that shit tore me to pieces.
00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:24.319
It tore, and then I didn't, I never even heard that I had a lisp until I went to the studio and tried to record it, and I heard it.
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:26.720
I'm like, damn, I sound fucking crazy.
00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:28.880
Um, and I locked myself in a room.
00:31:29.119 --> 00:31:37.440
Locked myself in a room and just went, I did this for like a week straight until the lisp went away.
00:31:37.599 --> 00:31:41.440
But it was like, I was like, I can't like, I can't go out there with this list.
00:31:41.519 --> 00:31:43.440
They never gonna take me seriously, because that was the first thing you heard.
00:31:43.519 --> 00:31:44.559
You didn't even hear what I said.
00:31:44.640 --> 00:31:56.720
But I was, I'm saying all that because I was at Black Thoughts, I was uh a couple weeks ago out here, and um we all talking, and he asked his P Funk, like, yo, you know, what was it like watching Armani come up?
00:31:56.960 --> 00:32:05.200
And he's like, I remember, I remember uh my cousin Dietrich, Dietrich is like a part of the Roots crew, so he's like, I remember Dietrich kept saying, yo, you gotta check out my little cousin, you gotta check out my little cousin.
00:32:05.279 --> 00:32:09.839
Like, I remember I finally watched him, I finally paid attention, I watched it, and I watched him grow.
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:15.839
And P Funk was like, man, I just remember like, man, this kid outworks everybody.
00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:17.200
He was like, he didn't have nobody.
00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:22.400
It's like he was coming to the studio, like, yo, man, I got the newspaper here, they want to do an article on me.
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:26.160
He's like, he, but he was just working nonstop, just grinding, he coming in there.
00:32:26.240 --> 00:32:27.839
I used to, I used to sleep at the studio.
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:31.359
I used to sleep because I take my$50 in there and I just try and stretch it.
00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:40.400
I would try and take my$50, I would try and start my studio session at 3.30 so I can get all of three o'clock and four o'clock and get a get a hundred dollars worth of a session for$50.
00:32:40.799 --> 00:32:45.920
But I was just in there, I come in there, I record three songs in an hour's time, just like running through the lyrics.
00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:47.759
I bet, go to the next one, run through the lyrics.
00:32:47.839 --> 00:32:50.240
I already, I already mapped out where my ad lib's gonna be at.
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:58.160
I just, I'm saying all that to say, like, it was cool watching them give me flowers, like, because I'm like, damn, I didn't even know I needed those flowers.
00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:04.640
I like in my head, I just always was like, I didn't even realize I was still trying to impress y'all, you know, however many years later.
00:33:04.720 --> 00:33:08.160
You know, I remember um when I was still living in Philly, Wallo pulled up on me.
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:10.559
He just seen me, it's me and my girl, we outside walking.
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:12.400
Um, we walking from a show or something like that.
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:14.799
We walking home, Wallo pulled, he still had the van.
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:17.519
He pulled up on me, he said, Armaday.
00:33:17.599 --> 00:33:18.960
I run, who the fuck is that?
00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:20.240
And he's like, it's Wallo.
00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:21.599
I'm like, oh, so I run over.
00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:23.279
Cool, I run over to the van.
00:33:23.839 --> 00:33:26.960
And he's like, yo, you gotta get the fuck out of Philly.
00:33:27.039 --> 00:33:27.680
It's over.
00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:28.559
It's over.
00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:30.400
And then I do the BET awards.
00:33:30.559 --> 00:33:31.519
Black Dog called me.
00:33:31.680 --> 00:33:32.799
Yo, it's over.
00:33:33.039 --> 00:33:34.319
Get the fuck out of Philly, it's done.
00:33:34.400 --> 00:33:35.039
You know what I'm saying?
00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:39.440
So, like, I like I seen it with all of the OGs, all the big homies, Gilly.
00:33:39.519 --> 00:33:41.279
Gilly's known me since I was in sixth
grade.
00:33:41.440 --> 00:33:45.119
Like, all of them is like, yo, man, I love seeing what you're doing.
00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:46.240
You gotta go.
00:33:46.400 --> 00:33:47.519
You're not one of them.
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:48.799
You, you the other one.
00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:49.680
You know what I'm saying?
00:33:49.759 --> 00:33:53.920
And and so I yeah, it's like I said, it's still love to this day, anytime we talk.
00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:56.079
That's super inspiring, for sure.
00:33:56.160 --> 00:34:02.480
Uh inspiring for me, but I think inspiring for anyone, uh, especially an artist that's trying to make it.
00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:10.880
Because I've noticed even in my development, being from DC, a lot of the artists that I used to look up to growing up eventually became my peers, right?
00:34:11.039 --> 00:34:15.920
And then eventually it became a point where they're leaning on me to help them with the things that they're working on.
00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:20.480
So, like Wale, for example, obviously was the biggest artist that come out of the DMV area.
00:34:20.719 --> 00:34:21.119
I hope.
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:25.039
Um, Logic was someone who I worked with early on in history.
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:26.800
Just before he blew up.
00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:27.920
Both of them are my guys, yeah.
00:34:28.239 --> 00:34:43.760
Ari Lennox, you know, was an artist that uh, you know, we worked on a lot of her early music together and uh so many others, but to see artists like that uh grow and then later on in life, it's like you see them as your peers and you're able to uh collaborate with them is something that's really special.
00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:50.400
I think that a lot of the time that means more to artists like us from like, I'm gonna call them small cities, but you get what I'm saying.
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:50.960
No, officially.
00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:53.199
Um, than like the adoration of the world.
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:54.960
It's like, nah, that's who I looked up to.
00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:55.519
Exactly.
00:34:55.679 --> 00:35:00.719
You know, I didn't even see when I started going to Batcave, our North Star was Gilly.
00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:02.880
Gilly, this is before Million Dollars Worth of Game.
00:35:03.119 --> 00:35:05.440
Million Dollars Worth of Game before it was a podcast.
00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:11.199
It was Gilly walking into your studio session and then just disrupted it for 45 minutes straight.
00:35:11.360 --> 00:35:13.519
Like, because that was his home studio.
00:35:13.599 --> 00:35:17.280
So he'll pull up and he'll just get the poppin', and you can't say nothing because it's Gil.
00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:20.559
So he'll just get the popping with the engineer, then he starts tapping you.
00:35:20.719 --> 00:35:25.840
So now you in on the conversation, you just happy to be a part of the conversation, but you like, damn, I did just kind of pay for these hours.
00:35:26.400 --> 00:35:27.119
You know what I'm saying?
00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:32.400
And so, so um, but I was always like, damn, I want Gil to come in.
00:35:32.480 --> 00:35:36.159
He would always come in early in the session before I even get started, and he'll leave by the time I start.
00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:42.239
So I'm like, man, I just want Gil to come in to one of my sessions and be like, yo, that shit fire.
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:42.800
Like, whatever.
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:44.400
I don't, I just wanted the acknowledgement.
00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:47.840
I wanted it for so long, and it never happened.
00:35:48.079 --> 00:35:48.800
Never happened.
00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:50.079
I'm talking about years later.
00:35:50.159 --> 00:35:52.320
I kept my same engineer since I was like 15 years old.
00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:58.079
I kept the same guy that that same person I did Billy with, Billy Eilish, goaded, you know, all the all the big records.
00:35:59.039 --> 00:36:03.599
He goes, he tells me this maybe five years ago.
00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:06.559
I'm talking about, you know, like 10 years later.
00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:14.639
He uh he said, Gil one day came in the studio when you left, and he said, Yeah, that kid's special.
00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:18.159
Don't tell him yet, but that kid got something special.
00:36:18.320 --> 00:36:23.679
And he's like, I don't, he's like, don't tell him because I don't want his head to get blown up like all these other Philly rappers.
00:36:24.239 --> 00:36:25.440
And I never knew that.
00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:32.320
And I was like, I don't know what would have happened, maybe my head would have got blown up, but I know in that moment, it just kept me hungry.
00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:40.159
It kept me wanting that, like you said, wanting that adoration, wanting them to just acknowledge, like, yo, you're doing the thing, you're doing the thing.
00:36:40.239 --> 00:36:47.280
And it's like, I don't know if I would have stopped doing it if I got it, but I know not having it made me go, nah, y'all gotta see this shit.
00:36:47.360 --> 00:36:48.159
You know what I'm saying?
00:36:48.639 --> 00:36:52.079
And he probably knew that you wanted that from him.
00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:54.239
I mean, healy's a legend, obviously.
00:36:54.320 --> 00:37:00.079
So it's like, I'm sure he knows a lot of rappers coming out of that area wanted that acknowledgement from him.
00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:00.320
Yeah.
00:37:00.480 --> 00:37:03.280
But, you know, that's that's kind of like what the senseis always do.
00:37:03.360 --> 00:37:06.559
It's like they they see the potential, but they don't want you to know that you have the potential.
00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:09.519
Otherwise, it might change the uh how you continue to show up.
00:37:09.679 --> 00:37:10.079
Exactly.
00:37:10.239 --> 00:37:11.360
So, um, cool.
00:37:11.440 --> 00:37:18.079
So at this point, you're doing shows, you're in the studio, you're starting to get the acknowledgement of the people that that you want to get
it from.
00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:23.360
Um, before the career breakthrough, you had a pretty serious loss.
00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:23.679
Yeah.
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:28.639
It says that your father had prostate cancer and he passed away in 2016.
00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:36.880
If you don't mind, can you talk about the process, I guess, leading up to that, how you found out, how you felt through the moment and after?
00:37:37.199 --> 00:37:37.679
Yeah.
00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:45.280
Um I first started getting my little like SoundCloud buzz shit happening and all that.
00:37:45.360 --> 00:37:48.159
And um, me and him wasn't speaking.
00:37:48.480 --> 00:37:54.400
So, long story short, I had moved to California with my uncle in high school.
00:37:54.719 --> 00:38:00.320
Moved to California with my uncle, but my mom and dad were in a custody battle at the time.
00:38:00.559 --> 00:38:07.280
Um, so I was like, I'm telling my dad, like, I live out in California now, it doesn't even matter what the custody is and all that shit.
00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:08.639
And he was like, I'm not going for it.
00:38:08.719 --> 00:38:10.320
I'm like, you're not gonna take my son away from me.
00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:11.360
And it was a deeper thing.
00:38:11.440 --> 00:38:15.199
I just see, like, I want to be in your life, and there's no way that I'm gonna let them take that from me.
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:19.119
And I understand it now, but as a kid, I was like, man, now I'm chasing my dreams, man.
00:38:19.199 --> 00:38:20.159
Fuck you, dad.
00:38:20.400 --> 00:38:23.360
My dad sued my mom for child support.
00:38:23.599 --> 00:38:34.159
Not to actually get child support out of her, but he knew that if he sued her, I had to show up to court, which meant I had to fly back to Philly.
00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:37.119
And I resented him for it for so long.
00:38:37.199 --> 00:38:41.039
Because I was like, in my head, I was like, I was in California, like my dream could have came true.
00:38:41.280 --> 00:38:43.679
You pulled my dream from me to put me back here.
00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:50.960
And we just bickered about it for years and years, and we tried to mend the relationship a couple times, but it's just like I just was holding on to it.
00:38:51.039 --> 00:38:52.239
I kept holding on to it.
00:38:52.480 --> 00:38:54.800
And one day, I was like, you know what?
00:38:54.880 --> 00:38:56.159
I'm man enough, it's over.
00:38:56.239 --> 00:38:58.880
Like, I'm gonna drive by and just holler at him.
00:38:58.960 --> 00:39:02.400
My dad's a big guy, too, like a real big strong dude with breeds.
00:39:02.559 --> 00:39:04.320
So I'm like, man, I'm gonna just go talk to him.
00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:07.280
And uh, we just like, I'm older now, like it's over.
00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:10.400
Like the the fighting is over, it's no point anymore.
00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:14.320
And I went to turn down Catherine Street and I was waiting at the turning lane.
00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:22.400
I'm sitting there waiting to turn, but I see his car parked out front, and I see an older guy get out of the car and pick up my little sister.
00:39:22.559 --> 00:39:25.199
This guy's bald head and he's like very small.
00:39:25.360 --> 00:39:27.599
And I'm confused, like, who the hell is touching my little sister?
00:39:27.679 --> 00:39:28.559
It's not my grandpa.
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:31.760
And I'm staring and staring until it clicks that that's my dad.
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:34.079
And I was like, what the fuck happened?
00:39:34.239 --> 00:39:40.320
Like, I like I didn't see him in a couple months, and this is what I'm looking at now, and it broke me.
00:39:40.559 --> 00:39:41.920
I had a show in Philly that night.
00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:49.039
It broke me the whole night I was backstage in the green room just crying, balling my eyes out, because I'm like, how did I fuck this up?
00:39:49.199 --> 00:39:53.360
You know, because parents are like your superheroes growing up, you know.
00:39:53.519 --> 00:39:58.719
So it was like I never imagined a world where my dad, anything could have affected my dad.
00:39:58.800 --> 00:40:02.239
He was like, he was the bravest person, he's the most fearless person I ever met.
00:40:02.480 --> 00:40:03.679
And I pulled up on him.
00:40:03.840 --> 00:40:05.039
It was his birthday a couple days.
00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:06.239
I pulled up on him.
00:40:07.679 --> 00:40:09.599
And man, we just started crying.
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:12.400
He just held me and I just I just fell down.
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:13.920
I just started crying.
00:40:14.239 --> 00:40:28.960
And I think I was crying because like at that point I realized like that it was a time limit on our time together.
00:40:29.119 --> 00:40:32.400
Like it wasn't uh it wasn't a forever thing anymore.
00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:35.119
It wasn't like uh in foot to the foreseeable future.
00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:40.320
It was like, man, this might be for the next month, might be for the next two months.
00:40:40.559 --> 00:40:44.320
And um, yeah, I just stopped everything.
00:40:44.480 --> 00:40:45.840
Stopped all the music shit.
00:40:45.920 --> 00:40:46.880
I stopped going to college.
00:40:46.960 --> 00:40:48.639
I just I I couldn't do it.
00:40:48.800 --> 00:40:56.320
And I I sat at his house until um I sat at his crib until he went to hospice one day.
00:40:56.400 --> 00:40:57.920
I didn't even know what the fuck a hospice was.
00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:01.360
I just know they was like, he's at the hospital, but not the same hospital.
00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:05.679
And uh my my ex at the time, she was uh she was a nurse.
00:41:05.840 --> 00:41:10.559
So I told her, like, yeah, they said they moved into a hospice, and she was just like, I'm so sorry.
00:41:11.119 --> 00:41:12.800
I said, what the fuck is that meaning?
00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:24.000
And that was when I realized like, oh, this is the end, this is it, you know, and um that shit like it broke me.
00:41:24.239 --> 00:41:26.079
It changed something, it changed something in me.
00:41:26.159 --> 00:41:27.679
And uh like I was there.
00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:31.039
I was there, I held his hand until he stopped breathing.
00:41:31.199 --> 00:41:38.400
Like when he passed away, my hand was he was clenching my hands, so I felt the grip like loosen slowly.
00:41:38.719 --> 00:41:42.320
Um I don't know, man.
00:41:42.480 --> 00:41:47.679
That shit like I don't think anybody loses a parent and remains the same person.
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:50.159
I don't I it's not possible, you know.
00:41:50.400 --> 00:41:53.039
So that shit changed my whole outlook.
00:41:53.119 --> 00:41:55.280
And like I'm the advocate now for everybody else.
00:41:55.360 --> 00:41:56.639
Like, yo, and then go talk to your dad.
00:41:56.800 --> 00:41:59.280
He's like, man, my dad, he on bush, I don't give a fuck.
00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:02.079
Like, my mom used to tell me that and I didn't get it.
00:42:02.239 --> 00:42:04.239
I was like, she's like, you only get one dad.
00:42:04.320 --> 00:42:05.840
And I'm like, man, all right, whatever.
00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:15.920
Like but when you lose that, it's like there's no correcting it, it's no figuring it out, it's no, oh no, like I'll get right back, it's it's over.
00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:16.559
You know.
00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:26.400
What was his demeanor, like his spirit, his energy in those last few weeks, months?
00:42:26.639 --> 00:42:32.480
What were some of the conversations that you guys were having having when you kind of knew it was getting bad?
00:42:33.119 --> 00:42:36.159
We had a long conversation about Nina Simone.
00:42:36.960 --> 00:42:38.159
I remember that.
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:40.800
We had a long conversation about Nina Simone.
00:42:41.280 --> 00:42:47.840
Um, and then it was hard though, because he started reflecting a lot.
00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:56.880
And the more he reflected, I realized he was like going through the entire loop of this is the end, you know, from start to finish.
00:42:57.119 --> 00:43:02.639
And um, but he was still optimistic, and I'm not sure if he was really optimistic.
00:43:02.719 --> 00:43:06.400
I learned this, I learned from him to be a leader.
00:43:06.639 --> 00:43:15.519
And what a leader means is sometimes you could be scared out of your fucking mind, but the people following you can never know that.
00:43:16.079 --> 00:43:25.599
And so there was times like it's like if you in the woods and I got the torch and everybody's following the light in front of them, and I don't know where the fuck I'm going, I gotta figure it out.
00:43:25.679 --> 00:43:27.920
I can't turn around and say, yo, man, we lost.
00:43:28.079 --> 00:43:31.039
Cause at that point, nigga is fucking, he's a disaster.
00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:36.559
Um he'd tell me, yeah, like, you know, like like we going, let's let's plan a trip to Disney World.
00:43:36.639 --> 00:43:40.480
Man, let's go out to this place,
let's book a flight for here, let's go there and there and there and there.
00:43:40.559 --> 00:43:47.760
But he was still optimistic as if like this shit is not gonna, you know, like there's something we're gonna overcome, there's something we're gonna get over.
00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:52.400
And um shit was like, it was hard.
00:43:52.639 --> 00:43:54.960
Like it was the the hospice situation.
00:43:56.320 --> 00:43:58.559
The trickiest part about hospice, I never heard of it before.
00:43:58.639 --> 00:43:59.760
It was like, well, hospice.
00:44:01.599 --> 00:44:05.519
They kind of expedite the process for you, is basically what it is.
00:44:05.599 --> 00:44:07.280
You're paying for them to expedite the process.
00:44:07.360 --> 00:44:11.599
So it wasn't so much of the cancer that killed my father.
00:44:11.679 --> 00:44:14.159
It was the complications from cancer.
00:44:14.559 --> 00:44:18.320
And I say that because there was times I go to the hospice and he's fully awake.
00:44:18.480 --> 00:44:19.039
We talking.
00:44:19.199 --> 00:44:20.400
He asked me what I'm doing today.
00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:21.440
We just having a whole conversation.
00:44:21.519 --> 00:44:22.719
We watch TV.
00:44:23.679 --> 00:44:32.239
And then you hear like, you'd hear a syringe shot and a morphine that hit his veins, and his eyes would roll back and he'll just fall back asleep.
00:44:34.320 --> 00:44:36.480
This shit fucking rocked me.
00:44:36.559 --> 00:44:38.239
Like it cooked me at the time.
00:44:38.400 --> 00:44:40.079
Cause like I'd never seen him like that.
00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:43.119
This shit was like, I like I'd just be trembling all the time.
00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:47.760
Cause he'll wake up and have a conversation and then hit him again.
00:44:47.920 --> 00:44:51.360
And then one day, one day we was there, he was asleep.
00:44:51.599 --> 00:44:52.719
It's me and my brothers.
00:44:53.360 --> 00:44:57.280
He woke up from the morphine and he grabbed my brother and he's crying.
00:44:57.360 --> 00:44:59.920
And he's like, please, please take me out of here.
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.199
They're gonna kill me.
00:45:01.440 --> 00:45:04.000
And and my brother's like, I guess nothing I can do.
00:45:04.079 --> 00:45:07.679
And he's like squeezing him, like, please, begging, and he's crying, he's bawling.
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:11.039
And then the morphine hit and he just fell back asleep.
00:45:12.239 --> 00:45:21.119
And man, like I just at that point, I was like, I stopped going as frequent because I was like, it's no longer spending my last days with him.
00:45:21.360 --> 00:45:25.599
It's watching you guys like shorten the time span I got with him.
00:45:25.679 --> 00:45:27.199
And it's it was hard.
00:45:27.280 --> 00:45:28.320
It was hard to watch that.
00:45:28.559 --> 00:45:41.599
They say that a lot about people that are dealing with cancer specifically is that it's not the cancer that kills you, it's going through the chemo and going through all the treatments that uh, you know, deteriorate your body in other ways.
00:45:41.679 --> 00:45:41.840
Right.
00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:46.159
And then, you know, there's there's people that talk a lot about holistic ways to heal cancer.
00:45:46.239 --> 00:45:52.079
And um, you know, I have a lot of belief in those things as well, too, because you're kind of choosing, right?
00:45:52.159 --> 00:46:01.360
I can go this way that potentially can treat, treat this thing, but at the same time, it could be the reason why I I'm out of here like much faster.
00:46:01.679 --> 00:46:05.840
I had a girl I was dating that she beat cancer twice.
00:46:06.719 --> 00:46:14.320
She beat breast cancer and um the neck, no thyroid, thyroid cancer, she beat it.
00:46:15.039 --> 00:46:24.880
And I was like, damn, man, like she beat it twice, no medicine, no, no, or no, no, you know, not going to the doctors and all that.
00:46:24.960 --> 00:46:39.599
She beat it in holistic ways, and she's telling me all about it, and I'm just like, man, if I'd have met you like a couple years sooner, because, you know, like like with my dad, they was like, yo, this would have been 100% like treatable.
00:46:39.679 --> 00:46:43.119
It was definitely a thing that was like, maybe it could have been a remission thing.
00:46:43.360 --> 00:46:47.760
Um, but it was just if you caught it early enough, he just didn't catch it.
00:46:47.840 --> 00:46:49.519
He was, you know, brain was elsewhere.
00:46:49.599 --> 00:46:52.639
And then and our family was so severed.
00:46:52.800 --> 00:47:05.039
Our family was, so his relationship with all of us was so, so wacky that it was like there was nobody that was just allowing him to be an old man and checking on him and doing all of the, you know, all the due diligence shit.
00:47:05.199 --> 00:47:12.480
Um So what was the first 24 hours after he passed, what was that like for you?
00:47:12.800 --> 00:47:13.280
Numb.
00:47:13.760 --> 00:47:14.079
Numb.
00:47:14.239 --> 00:47:15.119
I didn't feel anything.
00:47:15.199 --> 00:47:19.360
I didn't even like when he died, when he died, I left.
00:47:19.519 --> 00:47:20.639
I didn't cry.
00:47:20.880 --> 00:47:21.599
I just left.
00:47:21.679 --> 00:47:23.920
And I didn't know what the fuck was going on.
00:47:24.079 --> 00:47:31.440
I had to-cause it's the first time you can't like, you know, like if you fuck up in a video game, you can just cut that bitch off and turn it back on.
00:47:31.519 --> 00:47:32.719
It was the first time you couldn't do that.
00:47:32.800 --> 00:47:33.760
I couldn't press undo.
00:47:33.840 --> 00:47:36.639
I couldn't command Z this, like it was, it was over.
00:47:36.960 --> 00:47:41.519
And um, at least like not the first time in life, but the first time with my father.
00:47:41.679 --> 00:47:50.079
And um I didn't know how to process it, and I had so much guilt because I was like, wow, like I held on to so much for no fucking reason.
00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:53.840
And and I
could have just, you know, spent the time with him.
00:47:54.079 --> 00:47:58.239
And um, I wasn't, I was numb.
00:47:58.320 --> 00:48:07.599
I was just, I just was numb, I was silent up until, and this is the dumbest shit ever, but up until like I was watching hoes.
00:48:08.079 --> 00:48:19.119
I was watching hoes, and it's like, you know, regular ass movie, but like when Zero met his mom at the end and they ran up and like hugged each other, and it was like, you know, everything all was forgiven.
00:48:19.599 --> 00:48:21.599
Boy, I just started bawling.
00:48:21.840 --> 00:48:30.559
I just started bawling because I was like, damn, like, I ain't never gonna be able to do that with my old man again.
00:48:30.639 --> 00:48:38.079
Like, I'm never gonna have that, I had that moment that just like like all this forgiving type of shit.
00:48:38.239 --> 00:48:41.599
So, yeah, I just started fucking crying.
00:48:41.679 --> 00:48:48.719
And I remember my mom came in the room and she started holding me, but that was when like that was when it finally like clicked.
00:48:48.960 --> 00:48:52.239
Like, oh shit, this is real, you know what I mean?
00:48:52.400 --> 00:48:55.360
Like, yeah.
00:48:55.679 --> 00:49:03.760
If you had an opportunity to say one more thing to him, either at that time or now, what would you say?
00:49:07.599 --> 00:49:08.400
Sorry.
00:49:09.679 --> 00:49:10.480
Thank you.
00:49:13.199 --> 00:49:19.440
I mean I said I said everything I had to say to him, you know.
00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:21.440
Like it wasn't it wasn't a sudden death.
00:49:21.519 --> 00:49:23.679
So, like, we got to talk a lot.
00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:28.480
Um, the only thing at that point was just it was Tom.
00:49:28.719 --> 00:49:34.079
It was just time that we didn't have to do all the shit, just like, bro, I did so much dumb shit.
00:49:34.159 --> 00:49:42.000
Like, he wanted to go to my graduation, but I was just mad that I was still graduating from this side of the world and didn't even let him go to my graduation.
00:49:42.159 --> 00:50:01.199
Like, I didn't like just silly shit, like silly kid shit that I was like, I don't know, like, you know, and I and I'm I'm at peace with it a lot now, but it's like that was the hardest part where it was like, damn, like, it wasn't even that deep, you know what I'm saying?
00:50:01.280 --> 00:50:08.880
Like, it wasn't even that deep, but you just, you being just a stubborn ass guy, I was just as stubborn as he was, and he was just as stubborn as his dad was.
00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:17.920
It's like, you know, because I lost, I lost my, I lost my grandfather, his father, a few years later.
00:50:18.079 --> 00:50:21.199
Same thing, to uh lung cancer.
00:50:21.920 --> 00:50:29.039
And they told me, he they called me when they found out, and he called me, hey boy.
00:50:29.199 --> 00:50:33.920
Like, you know, hey, but he like, he's like, I was like, Grandpa Lee, I got it.
00:50:34.079 --> 00:50:36.880
Like, this isn't the same situation as 2016.
00:50:37.039 --> 00:50:38.239
I can do something about it now.
00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:39.280
Like, I have money now.
00:50:39.360 --> 00:50:42.079
I can, I get you the best doctors, I'll fly you somewhere.
00:50:42.239 --> 00:50:43.920
I didn't, and he said, then what?
00:50:45.519 --> 00:50:48.880
I've been here this long, he said, so you gonna you gonna fix it for now?
00:50:49.039 --> 00:50:54.239
And then it comes back later, and then my life is all, like for the rest of my life, I'm just in pain and all these things.
00:50:54.320 --> 00:50:56.400
He said, Man, listen, I've been here this long.
00:50:56.480 --> 00:50:58.159
I done seen everything I needed to see in life.
00:50:58.239 --> 00:50:59.679
He said, just let me go.
00:51:00.400 --> 00:51:04.239
And it was like, fuck, I'm gonna argue with you.
00:51:04.320 --> 00:51:04.880
You know what I mean?
00:51:04.960 --> 00:51:11.840
I can't argue with you about like if you like, this is my time, I gotta accept that, but stubborn.
00:51:11.920 --> 00:51:13.519
We always just stubborn.
00:51:14.239 --> 00:51:15.280
There's a few things there.
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:25.599
Number one, I think we all can resonate with, most of us can resonate with having lost someone and wishing that we took better advantage of the time that we did have with them.
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:30.960
Um, and it's kind of like a lesson that this is a humanity lesson, right?
00:51:31.039 --> 00:51:38.800
It's like a lesson that constantly is being taught about taking the time to appreciate uh our loved ones and the the people around us.
00:51:38.960 --> 00:51:52.159
And um, I had an interview with someone previously, and she was just saying how she is grateful that she took the time out to make sure that everyone in her life knows how much she loves them.
00:51:52.480 --> 00:51:59.840
Because when that time comes, she has no regrets or no feelings about the fact that they maybe didn't know how she felt.
00:52:00.639 --> 00:52:11.360
Um, and to to what you said about, you know, the fact that it was a slow passing, I think that's there's often like a conversation about, you know, would you rather have a quick death or a slow death?
00:52:11.440 --> 00:52:17.199
But when it comes to people around you, I think, you know, obviously even a slow death can be painful.
00:52:17.360 --> 00:52:26.079
It gives you that time to be able to have those conversations and make those reconciliations and be able to like come to terms with it happening as much as you can.
00:52:26.159 --> 00:52:28.079
Because you never can fully come to terms with it.
00:52:28.239 --> 00:52:36.320
When I think about death or when I think about my family members or my loved ones, it's like we don't know what happens after this, right?
00:52:36.400 --> 00:52:39.039
We don't know if reincarnation is a real thing.
00:52:39.119 --> 00:52:39.199
Right.
00:52:39.360 --> 00:52:42.079
And even if it is, will I remember you the same?
00:52:42.159 --> 00:52:42.320
Right.
00:52:42.480 --> 00:52:47.599
Will I be able to know that you are someone that I knew in my past life in any way, shape, or form?
00:52:47.760 --> 00:52:59.280
Um, you see videos of people that deal with like Alzheimer's and dementia and how they can be around people who are their loved ones and not remember them, not know who they are.
00:52:59.599 --> 00:53:07.280
And so for me, that that signals that like the brain um has a huge part to do with who you are, the things you remember, all those things.
00:53:07.360 --> 00:53:18.559
So it's like even if we do go on to a a next life, will I ever be able to feel the same feelings that I felt when I was with my mom or when I was with my sister or my family members?
00:53:18.960 --> 00:53:26.239
And that I think is like probably the most crushing thing about death or about losing someone is the uncertainty of that thing.
00:53:26.320 --> 00:53:31.360
Because we can tell ourselves what we want to tell ourselves in terms of like, I see you again, but you never really know.
00:53:31.519 --> 00:53:39.360
And that just tells you it's so important to take advantage of the time that you have with people who uh who you love.
00:53:39.840 --> 00:53:42.079
Do the words keep in touch mean anything to you?
00:53:42.239 --> 00:53:42.559
Yeah.
00:53:43.280 --> 00:53:44.079
Tell me about that.
00:53:44.400 --> 00:53:49.280
That was that was my message to him.
00:53:49.679 --> 00:53:51.119
That was my message to my dad.
00:53:51.360 --> 00:54:12.639
It was like, I wanted to write a story, because, you know, when somebody passes, you hear all about them and who they were and what, and that was the first times, that was some of the first times my mom got to really open up to me about what it looked like when my mom and my dad started dating, what all of the like the feelings were with it, you know.
00:54:12.800 --> 00:54:19.920
And um, she's like, Yeah, I remember he was, I was like, uh he asked my number, and I just hurried up and rushed, rushed and gave him my number because I didn't even, I didn't think he would remember it.
00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:22.239
I just said set a bunch of numbers and ran off.
00:54:22.400 --> 00:54:24.960
And then he called back the next day at the two, whatever.
00:54:25.039 --> 00:54:35.519
And like, but hearing all the stories, I was like, man, can I write music that almost feels like the score of what this story was, what this feeling was.
00:54:35.679 --> 00:54:38.079
Even to the down to the tumultuous side of it.
00:54:38.239 --> 00:54:39.679
It was like, can I write music?
00:54:39.840 --> 00:54:44.639
Because, and I, and I ended it with um this song called Thanksgiving.
00:54:44.719 --> 00:54:48.800
And it was, reason being is like, it was one of the only songs I ever got to like.
00:54:48.960 --> 00:54:51.280
My whole music career was rebellion.
00:54:51.440 --> 00:54:57.760
And it was like this concept that I was like, I wanted to be my dad when I was growing up.
00:54:57.920 --> 00:55:01.440
Then I got older and I said, I'm gonna be better than my dad.
00:55:01.599 --> 00:55:09.840
And then in the back of my mind, the whole time, I just wanted that acceptance, like, was I better?
00:55:10.079 --> 00:55:12.400
But it could only come from him.
00:55:13.280 --> 00:55:19.039
And when he passed, I never got to get that acceptance.
00:55:19.119 --> 00:55:20.159
It went with him.
00:55:20.320 --> 00:55:26.000
And I, the only thing that I ever got to play for him was this record called Thanksgiving.
00:55:26.239 --> 00:55:32.719
Uh that was just like, again, it was still the hook.
00:55:32.800 --> 00:55:36.400
I was like, look around us, son, you finally got something to be proud of.
00:55:36.559 --> 00:55:45.039
But I was like, if I were to write a song that feels like the acknowledgement that I want from him, like, this is what the hook would be.
00:55:45.199 --> 00:55:46.639
There's like, yeah, I'm proud of you.
00:55:46.719 --> 00:55:50.639
Like, I want I just wanted to hear him say that he was proud of me for what I was doing.
00:55:50.880 --> 00:55:54.400
And it was one of the only songs I got to play for him.
00:55:54.960 --> 00:56:12.880
So that entire body of work was just built and rooted around that raw feeling of, could I write a score that that, you know, encapsulate like this, this really like, I don't know, this tall flower that grew in a really rough, a really rough patch of grass, which would have been my mom.
00:56:13.039 --> 00:56:26.960
And from that patch of grass came whatever, you know, like the the the person that takes that that stroll through the park and finds that flower and wants to grow and nurture with that flower, was that story that I was trying to create, we keep in touch.
00:56:27.119 --> 00:56:28.800
Um, but it was just like a message.
00:56:28.880 --> 00:56:34.880
It was like almost like a, I'm writing this to if you can hear me from the whatever happens afterwards.
00:56:35.119 --> 00:56:36.960
Um, and that's around.
00:56:37.199 --> 00:56:38.639
That was 2016.
00:56:39.599 --> 00:56:42.320
So 10 years ago when he passed.
00:56:42.960 --> 00:56:59.119
But all of my sixes was what had the rough time in life, and like I've been holding on to everybody in 2026, like, yo, I do not need any more people to go.
00:56:59.280 --> 00:57:04.320
Uh in 20, in 2006, oh I'm not sure if you know, you probably did if you've seen the research.
00:57:04.400 --> 00:57:07.119
Like, in 2006 was the house fire.
00:57:09.199 --> 00:57:26.000
And you talking about a kid, you know, you talking about a little kid that's like, when when I grew up, we're talking about this village that I had, that's one of the big cottages of the village is now taken away from you, and that's taken away with all the people inside of it.
00:57:26.239 --> 00:57:32.800
Um, because that was, you know, we went our our accordance, that was like a Thursday night.
00:57:32.960 --> 00:57:39.199
We would go
from my mom's house to go to my aunt's house, to then go to choir rehearsal at church, like you said, community.
00:57:39.280 --> 00:57:50.800
And then we go drop them off, either drop me off at my aunt's house, or drop, you know, uh uh, or just take my cousin back to my mom's house, and then whichever way we just go to school from there in the morning.
00:57:51.039 --> 00:57:55.199
Um, I had a cousin named Melinda, and Melinda was like my best friend.
00:57:55.280 --> 00:57:56.800
Like, we was like the closest in age.
00:57:56.880 --> 00:58:03.599
We was like, like, there was never a day where we wasn't either on the phone or together somewhere, but that was my best friend.
00:58:03.840 --> 00:58:08.800
Uh and she joined ROTC at high school.
00:58:08.960 --> 00:58:11.119
She joined ROTC, but she didn't tell my aunt.
00:58:11.280 --> 00:58:13.920
All my aunt knew was that she didn't come back home from school.
00:58:14.000 --> 00:58:15.039
It was like seven o'clock.
00:58:15.119 --> 00:58:16.320
She didn't come back home from school.
00:58:16.480 --> 00:58:18.239
My aunt is blacking out.
00:58:18.480 --> 00:58:23.280
So then they she called and everybody trying to call to school with who knows, who knows what.
00:58:23.599 --> 00:58:26.880
They finally, my cousin finally gets home.
00:58:27.119 --> 00:58:28.480
Instant punishment.
00:58:28.800 --> 00:58:30.000
Instant punishment.
00:58:30.719 --> 00:58:36.159
And that night, we were supposed to pick her up and go to choir rehearsal.
00:58:36.480 --> 00:58:37.280
And then go to church.
00:58:37.360 --> 00:58:39.199
My aunt was like, nah, she ain't going to choir rehearsal.
00:58:39.280 --> 00:58:40.159
She's stuck in that room tonight.
00:58:40.320 --> 00:58:41.679
She ain't doing nothing.
00:58:41.840 --> 00:58:43.440
So my mom was like, all right, well, bet.
00:58:43.519 --> 00:58:46.079
We'll just stop by after choir rehearsal.
00:58:46.239 --> 00:58:48.320
For whatever reason, didn't stop by.
00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:49.840
We just went straight home.
00:58:50.159 --> 00:58:51.039
Went straight home.
00:58:51.199 --> 00:59:03.360
And um, I just remember, like, again, you know, you have this concept that, oh, especially as a kid, you had this concept that like life is forever, it's eternal.
00:59:03.440 --> 00:59:06.239
Like, you know, like nothing bad can actually happen.
00:59:06.400 --> 00:59:10.960
Uh, I woke up from school, I woke up for school, my mom's like, come downstairs in the living room.
00:59:11.039 --> 00:59:12.800
I need to talk to you and your sister.
00:59:12.960 --> 00:59:17.519
So we both down there, and I don't, you know, like I'm thinking I'm in trouble.
00:59:17.599 --> 00:59:18.880
I don't know what the hell I did.
00:59:19.039 --> 00:59:22.320
And she's like, she's stuttering on the words, stuttering on the words.
00:59:22.400 --> 00:59:24.159
She's trying to find a polite way to say it.
00:59:24.320 --> 00:59:28.159
And then she just like, yeah, there was a fire last night in Southwest.
00:59:28.239 --> 00:59:33.039
And um, and she's stuttering and stuttering, and she just says, and everybody died.
00:59:33.360 --> 00:59:36.880
Aunt Kathy, everybody that was in the house is dead.
00:59:38.079 --> 00:59:41.280
And I was like, what?
00:59:41.760 --> 00:59:51.679
You know, like, and instantly again, like I just fell out, I fell apart because like behind her, the TV had the news plan with the house fire.
00:59:51.760 --> 00:59:54.639
You watching the fireman hose the house down.
00:59:54.800 --> 01:00:04.239
And I don't know that that what she's about to say is correlated to that, but I knew it was real when she said it because I see all of the context behind her.
01:00:04.480 --> 01:00:09.440
It wasn't a, it was no longer like a, you know, a like there was no, all right, stop playing.
01:00:09.519 --> 01:00:11.360
There was nothing like that that was that could come from that.
01:00:11.440 --> 01:00:13.920
It was like everything hit all at once.
01:00:14.000 --> 01:00:15.280
And Wow, okay.
01:00:15.440 --> 01:00:16.320
This is good information.
01:00:16.400 --> 01:00:20.000
Because here I have, I have that it was a fire that happened to your home.
01:00:20.400 --> 01:00:22.480
Fire happened to my home in 2020.
01:00:22.800 --> 01:00:23.360
Okay, different.
01:00:23.519 --> 01:00:24.079
Okay, different fire.
01:00:24.320 --> 01:00:24.639
Completely different.
01:00:24.800 --> 01:00:29.119
So in 2006, so you lose all all um all those people.
01:00:29.199 --> 01:00:33.840
I mean, where, and obviously, like someone who was the closest to you.
01:00:33.920 --> 01:00:36.000
I guess where did you go mentally?
01:00:36.159 --> 01:00:40.000
Was this your first time having lost people that were close to you?
01:00:40.320 --> 01:00:48.639
Yeah, I was the first, like, I was the, I mean, it's not, it wasn't losing someone, it was losing, you know, with what a foundation, a big piece of your foundation.
01:00:48.800 --> 01:00:52.559
The only person that survived was my older cousin who was living in the basement.
01:00:52.719 --> 01:00:55.039
Um, but it was like I lost everything.
01:00:55.119 --> 01:00:58.239
And my older cousin was like, he was a little gone.
01:00:58.400 --> 01:01:02.079
He was in the streets a little bit, so like, I started to follow him.
01:01:02.320 --> 01:01:06.480
So now he felt like nobody could understand him, and I felt like nobody could understand me.
01:01:06.559 --> 01:01:08.400
So now I stopped going to school.
01:01:08.559 --> 01:01:10.320
I'm just outside, and this is where we got.
01:01:10.400 --> 01:01:19.039
Like, now you have this good kid in a fucked up environment, but it's just like I'm trying to understand my pain in real time.
01:01:19.199 --> 01:01:29.519
I'm I'm not the person that self-harms, so I said, I'd rather harm other people because maybe it'll make me feel better about what I'm going through.
01:01:29.679 --> 01:01:31.360
And that's where all of the fighting came in.
01:01:31.519 --> 01:01:37.440
That's just like now we jumping people, we just doing whatever because why not?
01:01:37.599 --> 01:01:43.679
And for I don't know what everybody else's reason was, but for me, it was like, I was, I just was, I was trying to feel something.
01:01:43.840 --> 01:01:49.360
I was trying to, you know, I was trying to connect with whatever piece of me that was gone.
01:01:49.440 --> 01:01:51.760
And trying, and I thought rage was the answer.
01:01:51.920 --> 01:01:53.679
I thought like destruction was the answer.
01:01:53.760 --> 01:01:57.039
So I just started trying to break whatever was in front of me.
01:01:57.199 --> 01:02:01.920
You know, and it went, that was the that was the mentality for a while.
01:02:02.559 --> 01:02:10.400
And again, like I had to go to church and become the the sound guy to realize, yo, nobody cares.
01:02:10.559 --> 01:02:13.519
You know, and not that nobody cares, I think there's still empathy.
01:02:13.760 --> 01:02:24.400
Like, there's no one you could tell, like, yo, there's a four-year-old, a seven-year-old, 14-year-old um kid, kids, and uh, you know, and a 36-year-old mother who passed away in a fire.
01:02:24.480 --> 01:02:27.920
Nobody's gonna be like, oh, all right, whatever it is, what it is.
01:02:28.159 --> 01:02:31.760
Um, but it's just it's information.
01:02:32.000 --> 01:02:34.400
You know, to somebody else who didn't go through it, it's just information.
01:02:34.480 --> 01:02:35.679
It's context, it's a story.
01:02:35.760 --> 01:02:38.239
It's like, you know, the same way you read about whatever might have happened on the news.
01:02:38.559 --> 01:02:39.840
In a lot of cases, it's entertainment.
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:41.280
It's entertainment, exactly.
01:02:41.440 --> 01:02:44.239
And it just, it just goes the it's it's lore.
01:02:45.119 --> 01:02:46.079
It's lore.
01:02:46.239 --> 01:02:49.360
And for you, you're like, nah, I have real feelings attached to this.
01:02:49.440 --> 01:02:57.840
I have real, you know, like there's real things that that live with those moments, but um, because that's what shaped me to be who I am today.
01:02:57.920 --> 01:02:58.719
That's what shaped me.
01:02:58.800 --> 01:03:00.880
That's how I learned how to like let certain things go.
01:03:01.039 --> 01:03:07.360
That's how, that's why I weigh things on a scale of importance when it's like my life is in or my earth is shattering in front of me.
01:03:07.440 --> 01:03:09.519
I'm like, well, is it this?
01:03:09.679 --> 01:03:11.519
If it's not that, then it's not that bad.
01:03:11.840 --> 01:03:14.719
Thank you for being so vulnerable with these moments.
01:03:15.039 --> 01:03:20.320
After your father passed away, you stepped away from music.
01:03:20.639 --> 01:03:24.400
What brought you back to music after that moment?
01:03:24.719 --> 01:03:27.119
There was a moment where I was running.
01:03:27.360 --> 01:03:29.119
One day I was like, I was helping my mom.
01:03:29.199 --> 01:03:29.920
I was some.
01:03:30.079 --> 01:03:37.280
My grandmom lived in the same uh suburbs that my mom had pushed us to uh middle school.
01:03:37.599 --> 01:03:45.519
And I was helping my grandmack some boxes, and something hit me, something in my mind just told me to run.
01:03:46.559 --> 01:03:49.519
And I just walked out the house, I left my phone, I left everything.
01:03:49.679 --> 01:03:50.880
I just started running.
01:03:51.039 --> 01:03:52.639
And I didn't know what the fuck was going on.
01:03:52.719 --> 01:03:53.360
I just started running.
01:03:53.599 --> 01:03:56.719
I started running, it sounded like a movie, but I was running, I was running.
01:03:56.960 --> 01:04:05.760
And when I finally got out of breath, I looked at where I was at, and it was the middle school that I used to go to.
01:04:06.000 --> 01:04:12.800
But there was like an astral projection happening in front of me, and it was like a different world, I swear to God.
01:04:12.880 --> 01:04:20.320
Like it was like I watched the kid version of me sitting outside waiting to go in for the school bell, and he was rapping.
01:04:20.559 --> 01:04:25.440
He had a bunch of papers sitting in front of him, and like he was rapping all the shit off the papers.
01:04:25.679 --> 01:04:31.199
And for whatever reason, he turned in my direction, he looked at me, and I hid behind a car.
01:04:32.400 --> 01:04:46.480
And that moment, it was like this outer body experience, but that moment made me feel I don't want to say pathetic is the word, but it made me, it made me look at what was happening, and I said, wow, like I'm running.
01:04:46.639 --> 01:04:47.840
I've never ran.
01:04:48.000 --> 01:04:57.679
And I'm not only am I running, I'm running away from a version of me that was younger than me that if he seen what I turned into, he would be, he'd be broken.
01:04:57.840 --> 01:05:01.599
He'd be embarrassed, he'd be shattered to see, like, damn, this is how this plays out.
01:05:01.679 --> 01:05:02.960
Like, I'm, you know, I'm scared.
01:05:03.119 --> 01:05:05.920
Like, like in 10 years' time, I'm scared.
01:05:06.239 --> 01:05:09.519
And I I manned up.
01:05:09.679 --> 01:05:10.480
I manned up.
01:05:10.559 --> 01:05:15.039
Like I stood up on two, you know, I stood back up on my two, and I had left.
01:05:15.280 --> 01:05:16.159
I left the city.
01:05:16.320 --> 01:05:29.199
That was one of the things that, like, with Philly, like I love Philly so much, but I have so much pain attached to Philly between the losses, between like, you know, just like the version of me that isn't really the version of me today.
01:05:29.280 --> 01:05:34.400
Like, it was so much pain and negativity attached to Philly that I left in 2016.
01:05:34.480 --> 01:05:35.760
I left a few months later.
01:05:35.840 --> 01:05:41.199
I came to California, came to LA, and I just got to breathe again.
01:05:41.440 --> 01:05:42.800
I don't even know if that makes sense.
01:05:42.960 --> 01:05:52.079
But like, I
felt like, oh shit, there's a chance, there's a moment, there's opportunity, there's like a, you know, you're now running into people, and I had my little SoundCloud moments.
01:05:52.159 --> 01:05:59.760
You're running into people who are familiar with you, but have no idea what you're going through because your moment that you're going through is really big.
01:06:00.239 --> 01:06:03.599
To you, but it doesn't even exist to somebody else.
01:06:03.760 --> 01:06:05.519
Nobody even knows what this is that you're talking about.
01:06:05.679 --> 01:06:07.199
You never met your dad, you know?
01:06:07.360 --> 01:06:10.639
And so I think that was like that was what got me into it.
01:06:10.800 --> 01:06:18.400
It was like, yo, again, that kid that was wall that was up there rapping on that step, he had a story to tell.
01:06:18.639 --> 01:06:21.280
The shit that was on that that was on that paper was his story.
01:06:22.320 --> 01:06:25.199
All you're doing right now is living the rest of this story.
01:06:25.360 --> 01:06:27.840
You gotta write it and you gotta speak it out.
01:06:28.000 --> 01:06:32.719
You can't just, you can't get consumed in the story because the book will close and it'll leave you in it.
01:06:32.880 --> 01:06:34.079
You feel what I'm saying?
01:06:34.320 --> 01:06:36.960
So I just got up and I was like, I gotta keep writing.
01:06:37.199 --> 01:06:39.840
That's the importance of conversations like this too, right?
01:06:40.079 --> 01:06:46.159
Because everyone has a story or catalyzing moments that led them to eventually being in the same place.
01:06:46.239 --> 01:06:46.400
Yeah.
01:06:46.480 --> 01:06:46.719
Right.
01:06:46.800 --> 01:06:49.039
So all we think about is the end result.
01:06:49.119 --> 01:06:51.519
Like, oh, we're all here in LA, so we're having a great time.
01:06:51.840 --> 01:06:53.599
Okay, everyone's following their dreams.
01:06:53.760 --> 01:07:00.960
But what are all of the moments that led to you making those decisions or making that decision to be like, I want something different for my life?
01:07:01.039 --> 01:07:09.920
That's why conversations like this are important because I'm sure there's a lot of people who know you for all the things that you are legendary for that don't know all of this backstory.
01:07:10.079 --> 01:07:20.320
They might think, oh yeah, he just was a rapper one day, decided to rap, everything worked out for him, but they don't know all of the backstory that goes into your artistry as a whole.
01:07:20.559 --> 01:07:25.039
So you get back to finding yourself essentially and wanting to stand on your own two feet.
01:07:25.199 --> 01:07:26.400
You moved to California.
01:07:26.639 --> 01:07:29.360
Did you continue your music career back there?
01:07:29.599 --> 01:07:29.760
Yeah.
01:07:29.920 --> 01:07:41.440
I guess let's start to get into, you know, when you started to get some traction, like with your career, when like you started to have breakthroughs and feel like, okay, like I'm about to become one of the next, you know, big.
01:07:42.000 --> 01:07:48.639
I started, I I went back to Philly and um when I was in California, I was working tireless.
01:07:48.719 --> 01:07:49.920
I wake up at 4 a.m.
01:07:50.159 --> 01:07:51.920
and I'd speak up until 1 a.m.
01:07:52.079 --> 01:07:53.199
And I wake back up at 4 a.m.
01:07:53.360 --> 01:07:57.199
I was doing three hour days every fucking day, and like eventually I would just pass out.
01:07:57.440 --> 01:08:05.679
Um, but when niggas was asking me why I was working so hard, like, damn, yo, you one of the hungriest people, I was like, bro, I'm scared, terrified.
01:08:05.840 --> 01:08:09.920
I wouldn't never tell anybody that, but I was like, I never wanted to go back to Philly.
01:08:10.079 --> 01:08:22.960
I didn't want to go back because it was like it would, it would, I seen what it was doing to me and how it how it was like breaking me down and breaking me apart and like everything that I was dealing with was consuming me.
01:08:23.279 --> 01:08:25.439
Out there, I felt like it didn't exist.
01:08:25.680 --> 01:08:31.680
And it still like it mattered and meant something to me, but it felt like something that I could talk about because I made it away from it.
01:08:31.840 --> 01:08:34.479
I came back to Philly though, uh eventually.
01:08:34.720 --> 01:08:38.479
I was staying on the couch, so eventually that, you know, that once that ended, I came back to Philly.
01:08:38.560 --> 01:08:42.640
We I stayed on this uh in this apartment in Susquehanna Street in North Philly.
01:08:42.800 --> 01:08:46.159
There's a kid on the corner, uh, I don't know what the fuck he was doing.
01:08:46.239 --> 01:08:47.039
He was just standing there on the corner.
01:08:47.119 --> 01:08:48.720
I can't say what he was or wasn't doing.
01:08:48.880 --> 01:08:56.399
But I know I walked in the house and seen him, whatever, walked in the house, closed the door, and as I'm opening the apartment door, I hear shots.
01:08:58.720 --> 01:09:00.560
And oh shit.
01:09:00.880 --> 01:09:03.359
So wait for a little bit, I go look out the window.
01:09:03.840 --> 01:09:05.119
Kid got shot in his head.
01:09:05.359 --> 01:09:07.439
It's like I think later on they identified him.
01:09:07.520 --> 01:09:08.479
He's like a 16-year-old kid.
01:09:08.560 --> 01:09:10.000
He got shot in his head.
01:09:10.479 --> 01:09:14.880
And in that moment, I was like, oh shit, I'm back.
01:09:15.199 --> 01:09:17.600
Like none of this existed when I left.
01:09:17.680 --> 01:09:18.479
I'm back.
01:09:18.720 --> 01:09:20.319
I gotta get the fuck out of here.
01:09:20.399 --> 01:09:21.279
Like, you feel me?
01:09:21.359 --> 01:09:25.680
Because like I'm not, I don't know, there's there's Philly and it's Philadelphia.
01:09:25.840 --> 01:09:29.199
Philadelphia is where you go get a cheesesteak from, you go watch the Phillies games.
01:09:29.359 --> 01:09:30.000
Then it's Philly.
01:09:30.079 --> 01:09:31.920
It's North
Philly, West Philly, South Philly.
01:09:32.079 --> 01:09:34.560
Like, and I was in Philly all of my life growing up.
01:09:34.640 --> 01:09:35.279
I've been in Philly.
01:09:35.359 --> 01:09:40.079
I ain't never been in like the Philadelphia nice house or none of that shit.
01:09:40.239 --> 01:09:43.840
So um, when I went back home, I seen the environment that I was in.
01:09:43.920 --> 01:09:44.800
Like it was, it was real.
01:09:45.359 --> 01:09:48.000
It was still what it what it was when I was growing up.
01:09:48.239 --> 01:09:50.319
And at that point, it was like, I gotta hustle.
01:09:50.399 --> 01:09:51.359
I gotta work, I gotta work.
01:09:51.439 --> 01:09:53.359
I went and staged a meeting.
01:09:53.680 --> 01:09:58.960
And um I had did a Pigeons and Plains did like a, they had, they had just got the Apple show.
01:09:59.039 --> 01:10:01.279
It lasted like a couple months, but they had an Apple radio show.
01:10:01.359 --> 01:10:03.439
And they was like, yo, do you got a song that you want to put on there?
01:10:03.520 --> 01:10:04.399
I was like, yeah, fuck it.
01:10:04.560 --> 01:10:06.880
I put this one song, it's like some random shit that was in my hard drive.
01:10:06.960 --> 01:10:09.199
We dropped it, we leaked it, we premiered it through them.
01:10:09.439 --> 01:10:12.960
And I remember I had one of the guys' emails from that moment.
01:10:13.279 --> 01:10:19.119
Never spoke to him or nothing, but I took a trip off a buddy pass back to LA.
01:10:19.359 --> 01:10:22.640
Took a trip off a buddy pass, and I went to Apple.
01:10:22.720 --> 01:10:31.439
I found the Apple address that was on the email, went to Apple, and I was like, hey guys, I got this meeting with this guy right here, his name is this.
01:10:31.520 --> 01:10:33.520
And they was like, oh yeah, I'll let him know that you're down here.
01:10:33.680 --> 01:10:34.319
So I'm like, cool.
01:10:34.399 --> 01:10:37.520
I'm just waiting in the lobby, and I'm like, I've never met, I don't even know who the fuck this guy is.
01:10:37.680 --> 01:10:39.680
And he comes down looking confused, like, who am I?
01:10:39.760 --> 01:10:41.920
But he's not going, he's like, I ain't about to play you in front of them.
01:10:42.000 --> 01:10:44.640
So I'm like, oh, yo, hey, man, good to see you, man.
01:10:44.720 --> 01:10:46.239
Like, hey, you want you want, you want to sit outside?
01:10:46.319 --> 01:10:46.800
Take the meeting.
01:10:46.880 --> 01:10:48.399
He's like, sure, I guess.
01:10:48.479 --> 01:10:49.279
Like, you know what I'm saying?
01:10:49.359 --> 01:10:50.399
So he takes us outside.
01:10:50.560 --> 01:10:52.159
At that point, I start spilling it.
01:10:52.239 --> 01:10:54.560
I was just like, yo, man, listen, I'm this and that.
01:10:54.640 --> 01:10:55.439
I got this going on.
01:10:55.520 --> 01:10:58.880
Like, my father just passed, but I'm like, I'm I'm gonna make it out of my situation.
01:10:58.960 --> 01:10:59.680
I'm working on this.
01:10:59.760 --> 01:11:03.439
I was working on keeping touch at the time, but I was like, this is all the shit that I'm doing.
01:11:03.520 --> 01:11:05.039
I did this, I did that, I did that.
01:11:05.760 --> 01:11:10.239
And he was like, wow, I just admire the fact that you was brave enough to do this shit.
01:11:10.399 --> 01:11:11.199
You know what I'm saying?
01:11:11.279 --> 01:11:18.880
Like, you, you was that fearless to just come, like, fly all the way out this motherfucker and just set up a fake meeting just to, you know, get in front of some niggas.
01:11:18.960 --> 01:11:22.079
He's like, I'm gonna do whatever I can to help you get where you gotta go.
01:11:22.399 --> 01:11:24.640
And from there, he helped me with distribution.
01:11:24.720 --> 01:11:26.720
He helped me figure out my distribution plan.
01:11:27.039 --> 01:11:34.319
Uh, I took a video, um, my first video was like this one take video in 2015 that went up on SoundCloud.
01:11:34.560 --> 01:11:37.039
So my next video, I was let us do the same one take thing.
01:11:37.199 --> 01:11:40.880
At the time, Apple was doing shot on iPhone um commercials.
01:11:41.039 --> 01:11:43.760
So I was like, yo, let's do a shot on iPhone music video.
01:11:43.840 --> 01:11:47.439
So it starts off saying shot on iPhone, but it's just us rapping in the car.
01:11:47.600 --> 01:11:54.880
And then we rapping in the car, and then the camera's just like in the middle of it rapping, the camera falls, and then we pick it up, and now we're doing some completely different shit.
01:11:55.039 --> 01:11:57.760
But then somebody runs in and robs us.
01:11:58.079 --> 01:12:08.000
Like somebody opens the car door and then they rob us, and everybody's scattering out the car, and a nigga takes the phone and then he runs it off, and you just see the guy running off, running off, running off.
01:12:08.159 --> 01:12:11.600
And I did that, I put it on Twitter, it went crazy.
01:12:11.680 --> 01:12:14.720
Like it had a million views when a million views was still like a thing.
01:12:15.039 --> 01:12:16.399
And it went crazy.
01:12:16.479 --> 01:12:22.720
At that point, that was when all the labels start calling me all of the, like, you know, and I was making my own little independent thing go.
01:12:22.880 --> 01:12:25.359
Um, and I was doing that for a couple years.
01:12:25.439 --> 01:12:27.039
Uh, I just didn't have no money.
01:12:27.279 --> 01:12:28.239
I had no cheese.
01:12:28.800 --> 01:12:29.760
I had no cheese.
01:12:29.840 --> 01:12:34.079
My guy, Jason from uh, he's from STEM at the time.
01:12:34.239 --> 01:12:37.680
Jason hit me and was like, yo, there's a Doritos competition.
01:12:37.840 --> 01:12:41.199
I don't know if you if you've seen this shit, but uh, it's a Doritos competition.
01:12:41.279 --> 01:12:44.800
They're giving away 50K to anybody that can rap about Doritos.
01:12:46.319 --> 01:12:48.000
I was like, nigga, what?
01:12:48.399 --> 01:12:48.960
You know what I'm saying?
01:12:49.039 -->
01:12:51.199
At the time, I was like, man, I'm too cool, bro.
01:12:51.279 --> 01:12:52.000
I'm a real rapper.
01:12:52.079 --> 01:12:54.079
They gonna look at me like I'm a gimmick, and da da da da.
01:12:54.479 --> 01:12:56.640
He's like, bro, it's$50,000.
01:12:57.439 --> 01:12:59.359
And you have none.
01:12:59.760 --> 01:13:02.239
You have$0,000 right now.
01:13:02.479 --> 01:13:03.920
He was like, just do the shit.
01:13:04.079 --> 01:13:05.600
So I got like he knew the judges.
01:13:05.760 --> 01:13:06.720
I knew the judges actually.
01:13:06.800 --> 01:13:12.159
It was like some lady from Doritos who loved, who's already a fan of me, my homie from All Def, and Busta Roms.
01:13:12.560 --> 01:13:14.800
And they all three was like, yo, he won.
01:13:14.960 --> 01:13:18.960
And we went out to Vegas, did the whole shit, and I was surviving off of that$50,000.
01:13:19.119 --> 01:13:29.439
That was the money that along with other little sink deals and shit, I used that to survive, just to eat and my PPP loan.
01:13:29.680 --> 01:13:31.039
Or not my PPP, my PUA.
01:13:31.119 --> 01:13:33.439
I had the PUA uh unemployment assistance or whatever.
01:13:33.600 --> 01:13:34.720
I didn't get the$20,000.
01:13:34.800 --> 01:13:36.720
I got like 9,000 or whatever.
01:13:36.880 --> 01:13:41.439
And I took that money and I paid for Billy Eilish with it.
01:13:42.319 --> 01:13:51.119
So all of that money, it survived me for like three, four years, and then that's when um actually that should survive me up until the house fire.
01:13:51.520 --> 01:13:51.840
Yeah.
01:13:52.079 --> 01:13:54.000
This is the house fire that took place in 2020.
01:13:54.239 --> 01:13:54.960
2020, yes.
01:13:55.199 --> 01:14:00.000
Me and my homie had an idea to do fireworks.
01:14:00.159 --> 01:14:05.279
Everybody was quarantined, and he was like, yo, he's gonna play the music, and I'ma shoot fireworks, whatever.
01:14:05.359 --> 01:14:06.880
But my dad used to always do fireworks.
01:14:06.960 --> 01:14:08.560
That was his thing, like on the block.
01:14:08.720 --> 01:14:10.000
Um, it's not like cool.
01:14:10.079 --> 01:14:12.399
It could be like a fireworks, like a Father's Day.
01:14:12.479 --> 01:14:14.560
It was like Father's Day and Juneteenth was on the same day or something.
01:14:14.640 --> 01:14:16.319
So that could be a Father's Day, Juneteenth celebration.
01:14:16.479 --> 01:14:17.680
We'll shoot the fireworks off.
01:14:17.920 --> 01:14:18.399
Cool.
01:14:18.560 --> 01:14:20.239
We shooting the fireworks.
01:14:20.399 --> 01:14:27.279
Um, and then when we finish, niggas at the bottom is like, yo, the cops, the cops, get down.
01:14:27.520 --> 01:14:32.000
So I'm like, all right, we're trying to smother the fireworks, but they like, yo, hurry up, the cops are coming, like, yo, get low.
01:14:32.239 --> 01:14:34.960
So we leave the fireworks up there and we run downstairs.
01:14:35.039 --> 01:14:36.319
They stand there at the door.
01:14:36.560 --> 01:14:37.680
Run downstairs and go talk to them.
01:14:37.760 --> 01:14:38.640
There's nobody at the door.
01:14:38.800 --> 01:14:43.199
But by the time I get downstairs, somebody else is like, yo, your roof is on fire.
01:14:43.359 --> 01:14:44.640
I'm like, what?
01:14:44.960 --> 01:14:50.640
So now we run back upstairs trying to stop the fire, but it just keeps growing, growing, getting bigger and bigger.
01:14:50.880 --> 01:14:59.760
Cops come, they put the fire out, and we're we thinking everything's good, but they're like, you know, uh, like the house got fucked up with them trying to put water, like shooting water in it and all that.
01:14:59.840 --> 01:15:01.119
So it's like you can't stay there tonight.
01:15:01.439 --> 01:15:04.000
Well, did you did you lose anything in that fire?
01:15:04.800 --> 01:15:05.119
No.
01:15:05.520 --> 01:15:06.720
Like, maybe my bed.
01:15:07.439 --> 01:15:12.239
My bed got fucked up, but like everything else was, you know, like I was, we were trying to move back in.
01:15:12.319 --> 01:15:14.800
So the only thing that really happened was the window got busted.
01:15:14.880 --> 01:15:19.680
They bust the window to shoot, yeah, but to put the uh put the fucking water hose through it.
01:15:19.760 --> 01:15:24.319
We didn't find out until months later, my brother got pulled over for his tents.
01:15:24.720 --> 01:15:28.720
And when they pulled him over, they said, you know, you got a warrant out for your arrest.
01:15:29.119 --> 01:15:31.439
And my brother's a, he's a convicted felon.
01:15:31.760 --> 01:15:35.840
So they just take him in immediately and they stick him there.
01:15:35.920 --> 01:15:38.800
Like in this pandemic, so you can't even get a court date, you can't get nothing.
01:15:38.960 --> 01:15:39.520
They just stuck him there.
01:15:39.600 --> 01:15:42.239
And they're like, yo, and you violated probation, so like you're here.
01:15:42.399 --> 01:15:45.119
Like you're you're cooked for another at least another year or two.
01:15:45.439 --> 01:15:48.079
And he wasn't even there when the fire happened.
01:15:48.159 --> 01:15:50.479
They just arrested him because his name was on the lease.
01:15:50.640 --> 01:15:57.760
So now my brother's calling me, yelling at me, cursing me out about it, and I'm like, oh shit, that means we all got warrants.
01:15:58.560 --> 01:16:00.000
I go get a lawyer.
01:16:00.159 --> 01:16:03.119
Um, I go get a lawyer, we're trying to figure the whole shit out.
01:16:03.359 --> 01:16:09.760
And the lawyer's like, well, I don't want it to be a conflict of interest between you and your friend if I'm going to be representing you.
01:16:09.840 --> 01:16:11.680
I'm like, nah, like we both are guilty.
01:16:11.760 --> 01:16:15.119
We're both on the defendant's side, so we're like both pleading not guilty.
01:16:15.359 --> 01:16:18.560
And um, you know, we both know what happened, we did it, whatever.
01:16:18.800 --> 01:16:21.680
My homie was like, Well, I ain't had nothing to do with it.
01:16:21.920 --> 01:16:22.880
You did it.
01:16:23.520 --> 01:16:24.880
I said, wait, what?
01:16:25.520 --> 01:16:26.319
You know what I'm saying?
01:16:26.399 --> 01:16:27.840
So that's in front of my mom.
01:16:27.920 --> 01:16:29.760
My mom looking at the nigga like, nigga, what?
01:16:29.840 --> 01:16:30.880
Like, you feel me?
01:16:31.039 --> 01:16:34.880
And so it turned into this whole thing between now me and my homie.
01:16:34.960 --> 01:16:38.720
Now we all separated, and he still like, well, ain't you gonna pay for my lawyer?
01:16:38.880 --> 01:16:41.039
This nigga go, fuck no, like you tripping.
01:16:41.199 --> 01:16:41.920
You know what I'm saying?
01:16:42.079 --> 01:16:46.399
And so, so now me and this nigga, we, he, I feel some type way about cuz.
01:16:46.479 --> 01:16:47.680
I'm like, man, I wanna take his head off.
01:16:47.760 --> 01:16:49.039
Like, I wanna fuck him up.
01:16:49.279 --> 01:16:53.920
Um, we kind of on opposite angles, and my brother's still in jail.
01:16:54.079 --> 01:16:57.279
And we finally get him out of there because we had to wait till court dates.
01:16:57.359 --> 01:17:00.079
They're not, they're not, nobody's meeting up because of the pandemic is going on.
01:17:00.159 --> 01:17:01.199
Nobody meeting up.
01:17:01.439 --> 01:17:07.199
And so we had to turn ourselves in to jail, sitting there in jail.
01:17:07.520 --> 01:17:12.560
I mean, in the Pennsylvania Commonwealth, arson is looked at like murder.
01:17:12.720 --> 01:17:14.960
So if you convicted for arson, it's 25.
01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:18.159
First degree arson is a 25 life sentence.
01:17:18.319 --> 01:17:22.800
Um, uh, or not maybe not 25 a life, but it's 25 years, mandatory minimum.
01:17:22.880 --> 01:17:24.640
Um, or a second degree is 10 to 20.
01:17:24.800 --> 01:17:26.319
Like, I was looking at to look this shit up.
01:17:26.399 --> 01:17:26.960
You know what I'm saying?
01:17:27.199 --> 01:17:30.800
So um, we sitting in there, you know, trying to go through the whole shit.
01:17:30.960 --> 01:17:44.399
We finally, we, we go turn ourselves in, and they like, yo, nigga, they let it was some nigga that he got arrested for selling crack and he was on bail for selling crack and then got arrested again with crack on him.
01:17:44.880 --> 01:17:46.479
Like while on bail.
01:17:46.640 --> 01:17:48.319
And they let that nigga walk.
01:17:48.479 --> 01:17:50.640
Like, we just hearing him while we taking our mugshots.
01:17:50.800 --> 01:17:51.760
They let that nigga walk.
01:17:51.920 --> 01:17:57.119
And then we we get in there and they like, yeah, okay, your bail is set at$100,000.
01:17:58.960 --> 01:18:01.600
I said, I ain't got that much Dorito money, nigga.
01:18:02.079 --> 01:18:07.039
And so my lawyer's like, Your Honor, this is like, this whole thing is blown out of proportion.
01:18:07.119 --> 01:18:08.479
It looks way crazier than it is.
01:18:08.560 --> 01:18:12.399
You talking about like some fireworks, the damage was less than$2,000.
01:18:12.800 --> 01:18:15.279
Like, this isn't a real situation.
01:18:15.359 --> 01:18:17.760
It's just a matter of negligence, if anything.
01:18:17.920 --> 01:18:19.680
Um, you know, we we should be able to work this out.
01:18:19.760 --> 01:18:21.039
She said, okay, understood.
01:18:21.279 --> 01:18:22.239
$100,000.
01:18:23.439 --> 01:18:32.319
And so they they take it down, they're doing the intake, and they asked my man, like, you and this last guy, you guys are really well spoken.
01:18:32.560 --> 01:18:35.439
Um, does your parents know you guys are in there?
01:18:35.760 --> 01:18:37.119
And he's like, no.
01:18:37.359 --> 01:18:39.279
She said, Oh, hold on one second.
01:18:39.439 --> 01:18:40.399
Call this nigga mom.
01:18:41.279 --> 01:18:43.760
Call this nigga mom while you're in jail.
01:18:44.079 --> 01:18:46.479
And so we end up bailing out.
01:18:46.720 --> 01:18:54.800
We end up bailing out and had to just literally like live on bail for the next like maybe a year for the next year.
01:18:54.880 --> 01:18:58.399
It was like, yo, you get into anything, couldn't leave the country, all that type of shit.
01:18:58.720 --> 01:19:11.439
Until um we got to court, and it was like, they had a uh fire marshal there that wasn't even there on the scene, but it was a fire marshal that was like, I know these guys, I've seen them before, and he's getting our names mixed up.
01:19:11.520 --> 01:19:20.560
He's like, that guy right there, that's Enoch Peterson, that guy's um uh Juwan Edwards or just saying random names.
01:19:20.800 --> 01:19:22.880
And the judge is a black woman.
01:19:23.039 --> 01:19:41.359
The judge was like, well, the reason this is the reason that's important for you to have black people, just people of color in these type of scenarios, is because you just told me that you can't identify any of these men because they all had buzz cuts and short hair last year, but now they all have really long hair.
01:19:41.840 --> 01:19:47.359
There's no way a black man can grow hair that long if he had a buzz cut last year.
01:19:47.680 --> 01:19:51.039
And she's like, just off that, I'm dismissing this case.
01:19:51.279 --> 01:19:57.920
And that was like, so we got to walk away from that shit, but yeah, that cooked me, nigga.
01:19:58.319 --> 01:20:02.239
That entire situation, did it have any effect on your public identity?
01:20:02.560 --> 01:20:06.159
It never really made it to, it never really made it super public.
01:20:06.399 --> 01:20:13.680
Uh, I think it was like, it was a wrongful, you know, like there was a little bit of a little bit of noise about a chat or about a wrongful, wrongful conviction.
01:20:13.840 --> 01:20:21.920
I think as, especially as more and more press came up, they just did, they went over time and making sure that nobody ever bought it up.
01:20:22.079 --> 01:20:26.399
Because they was like, you know, you're doing all of these like really pop facing things.
01:20:26.560 --> 01:20:36.720
We
don't want it to be any sort of a uh, you know, any sort of a felony case attached to your name and saying, like, oh yeah, you have felonies for uh for arson and you got out of it.
01:20:36.880 --> 01:20:39.600
It's like, nah, we want to keep you with this pristine image.
01:20:39.920 --> 01:20:42.960
I have notes here on something called Letter from Jail.
01:20:43.439 --> 01:20:43.600
Yeah.
01:20:43.920 --> 01:20:44.560
Free Blanco.
01:20:44.960 --> 01:20:47.680
I also have Things We Lost in the Fire.
01:20:47.920 --> 01:20:48.399
Yes, sir.
01:20:48.640 --> 01:20:50.399
Can you speak on both of those things?
01:20:51.119 --> 01:20:53.760
Um I wrote a letter from jail.
01:20:54.640 --> 01:21:01.199
I wrote a letter from jail, actually, like I didn't know what was gonna happen.
01:21:01.439 --> 01:21:06.479
So when we had to turn ourselves in, it was like, you know, they they they give you some problems, yeah, we'll get you out of here in a couple hours.
01:21:06.560 --> 01:21:08.000
But I was like, I have no idea.
01:21:08.079 --> 01:21:09.439
And like, it's stuck.
01:21:09.600 --> 01:21:10.560
Like everything is stuck.
01:21:10.640 --> 01:21:17.439
I never had to be in a situation where my life was not determined or decided by me and whatever it is.
01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:21.119
Like, if I'm like, yo, I want to go somewhere today, I'm going somewhere, I want to fly somewhere, I'm flying somewhere.
01:21:21.279 --> 01:21:25.039
It was never a moment where it's like, yo, you're turning over the keys to your life.
01:21:25.279 --> 01:21:26.399
Yeah, to your life.
01:21:26.479 --> 01:21:41.760
And so Letter from Jail was just like uh, damn, I'm writing this from this perspective of like it was, you know, again, I wrote it in the moment that we wrote that it was still in the in the keep in touch era.
01:21:42.159 --> 01:21:50.880
So a lot of the things that I would write, a lot of the things I was writing came from the perspective of if my dad was here to give me advice.
01:21:51.199 --> 01:21:54.960
And what my dad would say if he was going through the same exact thing that he was going through.
01:21:55.119 --> 01:21:59.039
And so I wrote that from the same perspective of father talking to son.
01:21:59.119 --> 01:22:09.359
Like, I hope you never have to go through some of the things I went through, like my dad's life in the streets, and especially me being able to, in some ways, mirror some of his mistakes.
01:22:09.840 --> 01:22:12.560
I started to see, like, all right, let me try and write this.
01:22:12.640 --> 01:22:25.600
Not only from what I wish he would have said to me growing up, but like, you know, in 10 years, 20 years, I had a kid, like, maybe they stumble across this song and they're like, wow, there's a message and there's a story behind what just happened.
01:22:25.680 --> 01:22:33.199
So I was speaking to my young, my future kid while also, you know, the other side of that was things you lost in the fire.
01:22:33.279 --> 01:22:38.000
And I was like, that was because it was so much time that went by.
01:22:38.079 --> 01:22:41.199
It was 15 years at that point of um the house fire.
01:22:41.359 --> 01:22:42.720
I never spoke about it.
01:22:42.960 --> 01:22:46.159
I was, and I like for so many years, I was scared to speak about it.
01:22:46.239 --> 01:22:48.800
Because I think speaking about it made it more real.
01:22:48.960 --> 01:22:50.880
It made it more permanent, more definite.
01:22:50.960 --> 01:22:58.640
Like I still, you know, as a kid, you're a kid, so you have this hopeful idea that's like, it's like when Frank Ocean dropped endless, and he was like, ah, okay, it's cool.
01:22:58.720 --> 01:23:00.079
But then the next day he dropped blind.
01:23:00.319 --> 01:23:04.960
Like, I was waiting for my blind moment, like, oh, JK guys, this is the actual thing.
01:23:05.119 --> 01:23:10.640
Like, and the more I spoke about it, it was like, all right, nah, this is actually a real thing.
01:23:10.800 --> 01:23:18.880
So when the house fire happened, it became a loop where I was like, I feel like this is my moment to actually, you know, uh talk about it.
01:23:18.960 --> 01:23:23.680
And then, and I met a guy, I met this guy named Steve Chandy that kind of sparked it.
01:23:23.760 --> 01:23:26.159
He was like an Ed Sheeran type of guy on the guitar.
01:23:26.560 --> 01:23:31.760
And we used to just like, he, I met him singing in a park on Rittenhouse, uh, Rittenhouse Square in Philly.
01:23:32.000 --> 01:23:34.399
He'd just be in there barefoot playing a guitar.
01:23:34.479 --> 01:23:36.560
Like that was a shit, little Bahranian guy.
01:23:36.720 --> 01:23:40.319
Um and we used to talk and he's asking me what I was going through and things like that.
01:23:40.399 --> 01:23:44.159
And I think when I told when I met him, I was like, it's my cousin's birthday.
01:23:44.239 --> 01:23:48.079
Uh she passed away when I was a kid, and I was fired.
01:23:48.159 --> 01:23:51.760
His whole thing was like, tell me what you're going through, I'm gonna write a song about it.
01:23:52.239 --> 01:23:57.119
And he had wrote this song in the moment.
01:23:57.439 --> 01:24:00.239
And it was like, it was about my cousin Melinda.
01:24:01.119 --> 01:24:04.960
And the song was maybe four bars total.
01:24:05.279 --> 01:24:09.600
But when he did it, everything came back up, and I just fell.
01:24:09.680 --> 01:24:11.520
Like I like, like, I just broke.
01:24:11.600 --> 01:24:12.800
I started crying and shit.
01:24:12.960 --> 01:24:16.159
I was like, music's never made me cry before.
01:24:16.399 --> 01:24:22.800
You know, music there's never been a song that I heard or like a message that happened where like it actually brung me to tears.
01:24:23.600 --> 01:24:27.119
And I was like, man, like I'm I'm an open book type of person.
01:24:27.359 --> 01:24:32.560
And anytime I recognize that there's something that somewhere where the book is closed at, I'm like, I gotta bring this up.
01:24:32.640 --> 01:24:34.239
I gotta get off this, I gotta get this off me.
01:24:34.319 --> 01:24:39.760
I don't wanna be the guy that's like, yeah, I need a therapy to say all the things that I wanted to say.
01:24:39.840 --> 01:24:43.039
It's like that as well, but can I just speak?
01:24:43.199 --> 01:24:44.880
Can I just openly and freely speak?
01:24:44.960 --> 01:24:49.920
And the more I can speak about it, the better I can be, and the more at peace I can be around it.
01:24:50.079 --> 01:24:52.960
Um and that's where things be lost on the fire spawn.
01:24:53.199 --> 01:24:58.640
It's crazy, uh like to have not only one experience with fire in general, but two experiences.
01:24:59.199 --> 01:25:05.680
One that was not a joke, but it happened, it was something that playful that turned into something serious.
01:25:05.840 --> 01:25:13.199
And but another thing that was like catastrophic, you know, and kind of the the contrast between those two things, yeah.
01:25:13.359 --> 01:25:14.000
I can't imagine.
01:25:14.079 --> 01:25:20.960
I've never been in a fire like that, but I've you know I've had a couple close, close, close moments, and I've been like, it's it's terrifying, honestly.
01:25:21.119 --> 01:25:24.239
So the fact that you've even been through that is a story in itself.
01:25:24.399 --> 01:25:26.399
So this happens in 2020.
01:25:26.479 --> 01:25:26.640
Yeah.
01:25:26.800 --> 01:25:28.960
Um you mentioned it because you were you're on your way.
01:25:29.119 --> 01:25:31.199
I think you were on your way to talking about Billie Eilish.
01:25:31.600 --> 01:25:35.199
Talk about coming out of 2020 pandemic, you got your freedom.
01:25:35.600 --> 01:25:36.479
I got my freedom, yeah.
01:25:36.560 --> 01:25:37.119
You got your freedom.
01:25:37.359 --> 01:25:38.399
Walk out the courtroom.
01:25:38.479 --> 01:25:38.640
Yeah.
01:25:38.880 --> 01:25:43.600
Um, in that moment again, I walked out the courtroom and I thought the same way I thought in 2016.
01:25:43.680 --> 01:25:55.039
I was like, I just don't want to ever, I want to keep writing a story, and I don't want to ever be in a spot where I'm like, I guess at that moment I realized how quickly freedom can be removed.
01:25:55.359 --> 01:26:01.279
And and then when I felt that, I was like, well, I need to take advantage of every single day I have to be awake.
01:26:01.520 --> 01:26:06.319
And mainly because some of the people who I would love to still be awake aren't anymore.
01:26:06.479 --> 01:26:08.479
They don't have this opportunity to take advantage of it.
01:26:08.560 --> 01:26:11.600
So every day, we just woke up and I worked at something.
01:26:11.680 --> 01:26:12.640
I was learning it all.
01:26:12.720 --> 01:26:15.039
Like I was trying to figure out how to work TikTok.
01:26:15.119 --> 01:26:17.520
I was like at the time, yeah, TikTok was just starting at the time.
01:26:17.600 --> 01:26:20.640
I'm trying to figure out how to do this thing, I'm trying to figure out how to
do that thing.
01:26:20.800 --> 01:26:29.840
And um, even like, you know, a record like Billy Eilish, when it happened, I had no idea how to do this, the samples and all that type of shit.
01:26:29.920 --> 01:26:31.039
I had no idea how to do anything.
01:26:31.119 --> 01:26:35.199
I just knew like if you upload a song here, like, you know, if it goes well, whatever.
01:26:35.439 --> 01:26:46.720
Um, once that happened and it moved, once that happened and it worked and it moved, um all I had was the money that I took from Doritos.
01:26:47.119 --> 01:26:58.800
I had the pandemic money, and I had like, it was these little sync checks that I would get$2,500 here,$2,500 there, these little$2,000 brand deals I do for like a water bottle or whatever, you know.
01:26:58.960 --> 01:27:08.399
Um, and I took all that, and that was what I used to fund the video, that was what I used to fund um the clearance, that was what I used to do the marketing and promotion.
01:27:08.479 --> 01:27:10.560
Like when it first dropped, it dropped independently.
01:27:10.640 --> 01:27:14.319
So everything at that point was just me just trying to make it make sense.
01:27:14.640 --> 01:27:20.560
Where were you when you first realized that that song was moving differently than your other songs?
01:27:20.800 --> 01:27:22.319
I was in a crib, right?
01:27:23.199 --> 01:27:28.800
We had just got, I had a meeting and I had a studio session that night.
01:27:29.039 --> 01:27:33.439
So I had a meeting with some shit called, it was like Warner Mute Media X or some shit.
01:27:33.520 --> 01:27:33.760
I don't know.
01:27:33.840 --> 01:27:35.119
It was like some little thing they were starting.
01:27:35.199 --> 01:27:36.399
It didn't even last that long.
01:27:36.560 --> 01:27:38.239
But they were like, they were interested.
01:27:38.399 --> 01:27:41.680
And then we got on the phone and it was like, yeah, it's too early.
01:27:41.840 --> 01:27:46.800
So I'm like, damn, how long am I gonna be going through life when niggas just keep telling me it's too early?
01:27:47.039 --> 01:27:51.279
And I went, I went to the studio that night and I recorded, uh, I recorded Billie Eilish.
01:27:51.439 --> 01:27:53.520
And I was like, I'm uh I'm doing that.
01:27:53.600 --> 01:27:56.159
We do the video in the studio, we all in there dancing, laughing.
01:27:56.239 --> 01:27:57.920
I'm like, yo, y'all don't think this shit crazy?
01:27:58.079 --> 01:27:59.439
And they like, I mean, it's cool.
01:28:00.159 --> 01:28:00.399
It's cool.
01:28:00.479 --> 01:28:01.199
I play it for my brother.
01:28:01.600 --> 01:28:02.159
Yeah, it's cool.
01:28:02.239 --> 01:28:04.399
Like it ain't really, you know, all right, whatever.
01:28:04.560 --> 01:28:06.079
And I'm playing it for like everybody.
01:28:06.159 --> 01:28:08.000
Like that whole next day, I was just playing it for people.
01:28:08.239 --> 01:28:10.239
Nobody was like, you know, it was all right.
01:28:10.560 --> 01:28:13.600
At the time, we was getting evicted from our apartment.
01:28:13.840 --> 01:28:20.960
We was getting evicted, and the roof in my bedroom had um, it was raining so bad that the roof fell apart.
01:28:21.119 --> 01:28:23.840
So every night that it rained, water would just leak through.
01:28:23.920 --> 01:28:25.520
So it was like a big bucket on my bed.
01:28:25.680 --> 01:28:30.479
It was a bucket on the uh on the couch, or not the couch on the um, on the carpet.
01:28:30.640 --> 01:28:33.119
And I was asleep on the couch downstairs.
01:28:33.359 --> 01:28:36.720
So I just, I remember the night we had a couch that was broken in half.
01:28:36.800 --> 01:28:39.680
Uh like one of us asleep on one side, I sleep on the other side.
01:28:39.840 --> 01:28:43.600
I uploaded it and I fell asleep on the little half of a couch I had.
01:28:43.840 --> 01:28:45.439
And I uploaded that TikTok.
01:28:45.520 --> 01:28:47.840
The next morning, it had a million views.
01:28:48.159 --> 01:28:50.960
I was like, hey guys, I think this shit moving.
01:28:52.159 --> 01:28:56.800
And the whole time, I'm at the gym, but I'm just looking at the shit like, yo, it's at 1.5.
01:28:57.199 --> 01:28:58.560
Yo, it's at two million.
01:28:58.800 --> 01:29:06.960
And so then everybody who, everybody who I was um, who I was in contact with, I was talking to and all that, they all started hitting me back.
01:29:07.039 --> 01:29:08.239
Yo, man, what's this song, bro?
01:29:08.399 --> 01:29:08.960
What we doing?
01:29:09.119 --> 01:29:13.119
What we, the WMX people, he's back, yo, hey guys, like, you know what I'm saying?
01:29:13.199 --> 01:29:15.840
And so um, it became a thing.
01:29:15.920 --> 01:29:18.880
That was when it we first started realizing it was moving, but I didn't have anybody.
01:29:18.960 --> 01:29:23.439
I had no manager, I ain't had no, didn't have a label, didn't have, I had nothing.
01:29:24.000 --> 01:29:30.640
I had one old guy that was like, he used to be in digital 20 years ago or something, and he would just give me advice sometimes, but nothing.
01:29:30.960 --> 01:29:31.920
You feel me?
01:29:32.079 --> 01:29:37.359
Um, but I was like, again, the main thing that made that song work was fear.
01:29:37.600 --> 01:29:39.760
I refused to let that moment go away.
01:29:39.920 --> 01:29:48.319
And I was like, that the idea of that moment slipping away from me, the idea of, yo, I could fuck this up, it scared me.
01:29:48.560 --> 01:29:51.760
Terrified me to the point that I was like, I'm not waiting, I'm not going to sleep.
01:29:51.920 --> 01:29:58.560
I'm gonna spend every waking moment doing something to push this, to drive this home, to get people excited, to get people paying attention.
01:29:58.800 --> 01:30:00.399
And it worked out.
01:30:00.880 --> 01:30:03.520
The song, I I've heard the song, The Song is a banger.
01:30:03.600 --> 01:30:05.840
I think it deserves to be as popular as it is.
01:30:06.079 --> 01:30:13.920
Why do you feel like that song took off more as
opposed to maybe songs that you had made before that?
01:30:14.239 --> 01:30:19.279
I used to steal salmon out of this grocery store down the street from my house.
01:30:19.439 --> 01:30:21.279
You could, you could self-check out it for free.
01:30:21.439 --> 01:30:25.680
Um, and I remember I was there, and this girl was like, yo, I know you.
01:30:25.920 --> 01:30:28.079
Like, you're you're like a rapper or something, right?
01:30:28.159 --> 01:30:29.680
And her friend was like, he ain't no rapper.
01:30:29.840 --> 01:30:31.680
And I'm like, nah, I am a rapper.
01:30:31.760 --> 01:30:35.600
And she's like, no, he's not like a rapper rapper, but he's like, you're a conscious rapper.
01:30:35.680 --> 01:30:38.319
And I was like, wait, bitch, don't talk about what the fuck?
01:30:38.399 --> 01:30:40.960
Like, and conscious rap wasn't cool at that time.
01:30:41.039 --> 01:30:44.479
So I'm like, she was like, yeah, but like, you know, you rap about more serious stuff.
01:30:44.720 --> 01:30:46.720
I'm the most playful person I know.
01:30:46.800 --> 01:30:48.800
Like, I'm just like the most goofy person.
01:30:48.960 --> 01:30:58.000
But I was realizing, I was like, I'm so, I've been so on the plight to make the best song ever, that I stopped having fun making music.
01:30:58.079 --> 01:31:02.319
I was just making shit that I thought was good or I thought was compelling.
01:31:02.640 --> 01:31:12.960
I said, well, why don't I just make something that just innately has my, you know, personality and energy in it, and it feels like the song feels like a day hanging out with me.
01:31:13.119 --> 01:31:14.000
So I did that.
01:31:14.079 --> 01:31:23.119
That was the Billy Eilish was the first time I ever did that, where I just made him made a record that felt like, oh, this just me and him on a random Thursday, you know what I mean?
01:31:23.279 --> 01:31:26.319
And so I think that's what really captivated it.
01:31:26.399 --> 01:31:31.920
It was like the, even when you looked at the visuals and everything, it gave you FOMO because it just felt like niggas having fun.
01:31:32.000 --> 01:31:34.000
It didn't feel like, yo, this one made for the clubs.
01:31:34.079 --> 01:31:35.279
I don't go to clubs and no shit like that.
01:31:35.279 --> 01:31:36.720
I don't even know what the fuck they play in clubs.
01:31:36.960 --> 01:31:41.279
But it was like, this just feel like a bunch of niggas enjoying themselves.
01:31:41.359 --> 01:31:46.800
And now I'll watch this video of a bunch of niggas enjoying themselves, and then everything that revolves around people.
01:31:46.960 --> 01:31:49.359
I remember the first time me and uh me and Tizo met.
01:31:49.760 --> 01:31:54.159
Tizo was saying this, and he's like, yo, you just look like you're having fun.
01:31:54.399 --> 01:31:58.800
Like everywhere you go, you just look like you're having so much fun, and it's like, it's infectious.
01:31:58.960 --> 01:32:07.199
Like, and he's like, it inspires me because like it makes people want to have that kind of fun, whether whether they're listening to you or they're just like in their own day-to-day life.
01:32:07.359 --> 01:32:11.039
So, you know, that was, I think that's what really drew people in with the record.
01:32:11.279 --> 01:32:13.199
Off the record, I was just with Tito yesterday.
01:32:13.439 --> 01:32:15.199
Well, we actually, we actually were talking about you.
01:32:15.520 --> 01:32:16.239
Funny enough, yeah.
01:32:16.479 --> 01:32:16.800
No way.
01:32:17.760 --> 01:32:20.239
I was telling him that we were, we were gonna be doing this today.
01:32:20.319 --> 01:32:31.119
And I was just saying, yeah, yesterday, he's also one of like the most creative artists that like has a lot of fun and enjoyment in his, at least in his process, um, even in the music that he puts out too.
01:32:31.279 --> 01:32:33.920
So I I think with you, there's there's there's a theme.
01:32:34.159 --> 01:32:35.199
I love teaser, that's my brother.
01:32:35.680 --> 01:32:46.319
In in terms of like the um the the music that you've put out even since uh Billy Eilish, there's a lot of joy and excitement in your sound.
01:32:46.479 --> 01:32:50.399
And it sounds like, at least my interpretation of it was like joy is resistance.
01:32:50.479 --> 01:33:01.680
So like you've been through so many of these things that it's like it never, even though it changed maybe who you were at your core, like your personality and the way that you express yourself has like stuck through all of that.
01:33:01.920 --> 01:33:12.880
And I think it makes a lot of sense that um the breakthrough happened when you decided to actually make your personality uh synergetic with your with your sound.
01:33:13.039 --> 01:33:28.479
I would say, given that you had spent all of this time trying to make the quote unquote best song ever, was there any frustration that the song that people love the most didn't contain like aspects, like the heavy aspects of your story?
01:33:28.640 --> 01:33:32.079
Or were you just you know happy that there was success with this record?
01:33:33.119 --> 01:33:33.920
Both, I guess.
01:33:34.000 --> 01:33:38.479
Like I I I I I cared that people looked at me like the greatest ever.
01:33:38.560 --> 01:33:39.039
I still care.
01:33:39.119 --> 01:33:40.079
Like that's the goal.
01:33:40.239 --> 01:33:43.600
Um, I never wanted to make music just to make things that people think are fun.
01:33:43.760 --> 01:33:47.600
I wanted to make music that people are like, wow, this is fucking groundbreaking.
01:33:47.840 --> 01:33:51.520
Um I needed to go through the other side of it first though.
01:33:51.840 --> 01:33:55.439
Because I wasn't making, I'll say I wasn't making shit that was listenable.
01:33:55.600 --> 01:34:03.279
I was making shit that was like, we had a conversation where we was like, yo, good rap is like fine china.
01:34:03.439 --> 01:34:10.800
Like, if you come to somebody's house, you see a China, fine China in the middle, it's a
centerpiece on a table, it's a cabinet full of this shit.
01:34:10.960 --> 01:34:12.319
You can look at it and admire it.
01:34:12.399 --> 01:34:15.760
Your grandma probably got like 10 of them fucking bowls that nobody touches.
01:34:15.840 --> 01:34:17.439
You like, damn, that's really dope.
01:34:17.680 --> 01:34:24.720
But when you want to eat, nigga, it's porcelain, it's styrofoam, you know, it might be a little ceramic bowl or some shit like that.
01:34:24.800 --> 01:34:28.720
But it's nothing like the fine china that you actually spent a lot of money on.
01:34:28.880 --> 01:34:30.319
And that's what good rap was.
01:34:30.479 --> 01:34:36.399
It was like, there's a room where you can appreciate it and really acknowledge and uphold it to a certain standard.
01:34:36.720 --> 01:34:41.600
But if niggas is trying to eat, they don't need fine china to eat.
01:34:41.680 --> 01:34:44.159
You know, like on a day-to-day, can I just enjoy myself?
01:34:44.239 --> 01:34:45.520
They don't want fine China.
01:34:45.760 --> 01:34:49.439
And I think there, to be honest though, it's not to say that it's bad.
01:34:49.680 --> 01:34:52.880
I just think there is a moment for fine china in your career.
01:34:53.039 --> 01:34:55.359
There's like, Childish Gambino is a good example.
01:34:55.439 --> 01:34:56.880
There's a, there's a camp.
01:34:57.039 --> 01:35:04.079
There's a, you know, a royalty and all these things before the, because the internet's or the awaken my loves happened.
01:35:04.159 --> 01:35:12.960
Like, if you just come out, awaken my love, and people can't understand it because they haven't seen like the evolution of you grow into that, you're trying to do it too early.
01:35:13.119 --> 01:35:15.760
I was trying to do my chapter five on chapter one.
01:35:16.079 --> 01:35:21.600
And so I think that was what was important was just like, let's scale this back.
01:35:21.760 --> 01:35:28.399
What do I sound like without all the bells and whistles, no organs, no rose pianos, no nords, no fucking like none of that crazy shit.
01:35:28.560 --> 01:35:32.800
What do I just sound like just completely stripped down me having fun?
01:35:32.960 --> 01:35:36.159
Can I make someone fall in love with what it is that I'm doing?
01:35:36.319 --> 01:35:41.760
And then from there, can I compound and build off of that into what the bigger picture is?
01:35:42.079 --> 01:35:46.560
Like, you know, so some of the stuff was it was just stuck in that beginning phase.
01:35:46.720 --> 01:35:55.279
But the other stuff is like, okay, now can I level it up and show you what I'm actually trying to do and not what I've, you know, what I achieved with the first record?
01:35:55.359 --> 01:35:56.640
So I think both sides are important.
01:35:56.800 --> 01:35:57.359
Yeah.
01:35:57.680 --> 01:35:59.680
You executed that well for sure.
01:35:59.920 --> 01:36:02.479
Then labels come knocking, labels come knocking.
01:36:03.520 --> 01:36:05.920
Pulls up, you end up signing with Def Jam.
01:36:06.000 --> 01:36:06.239
Yeah.
01:36:06.399 --> 01:36:16.000
Uh, what did that moment mean emotionally for you being an independent artist for so long and finally getting not just like the acknowledgement from the world, but from, you know, the industry?
01:36:16.800 --> 01:36:18.960
I signed to Tungji.
01:36:19.520 --> 01:36:20.640
I signed to Tunji.
01:36:20.800 --> 01:36:22.640
I didn't, I like to be honest.
01:36:23.680 --> 01:36:25.359
It was never a Def Jam thing.
01:36:25.439 --> 01:36:28.800
Because like before Tunji, Def Jam was in fucking hell.
01:36:28.960 --> 01:36:34.319
I mean, Def Jam's for Def Jam since 2013 or 14 or 12 or something, it's been in hell.
01:36:34.399 --> 01:36:35.199
Probably, you know what I mean?
01:36:35.359 --> 01:36:45.920
So it's like, I signed because I was like, Tungji was the kid, or Tunji was the guy that took this kid when he was, you know, went out there the first moment, 2015, took me out to dinner.
01:36:46.079 --> 01:36:48.399
Or we always there for when they signed Gold Link.
01:36:48.560 --> 01:36:53.119
I'm out there, I'm out there in New York with them, and and they giving, they're getting dinner for everybody.
01:36:53.199 --> 01:36:55.039
And Tanji's like, all right, well, I'll pay for this kid.
01:36:55.119 --> 01:36:56.720
Like, but I just never forgot it.
01:36:56.800 --> 01:36:58.640
And I don't know, it's just like nobody ever bought me dinner.
01:36:58.720 --> 01:37:02.239
It's like, it's like holding a door for a girl that don't get, you know, nice things done to her.
01:37:02.399 --> 01:37:03.680
She like, oh, I love this guy.
01:37:03.760 --> 01:37:07.520
Like, I think at the time I was just like, no one's ever bought me dinner, so it mattered.
01:37:07.680 --> 01:37:16.159
Um, and we just stayed loosely in touch for so long, and I was like, now that you're having an opportunity to flagship something, I want to flagship it with you.
01:37:16.399 --> 01:37:18.720
Um, and that was the most important thing about it.
01:37:18.880 --> 01:37:22.720
Like, when I signed, I was fully prepared to just go independent.
01:37:22.800 --> 01:37:41.039
I was like, I want to sign to somebody, but like I said, I want a 50-50 deal, I want no licensing, I want um, I want no back catalog, and I want a short amount of albums, um, and I don't want a 360.
01:37:41.760 --> 01:37:44.319
And they was like, Yeah, we'll call you back.
01:37:45.279 --> 01:37:46.399
And he said, we'll call you back.
01:37:46.479 --> 01:37:48.479
My lawyer was like, my lawyer, God rest the soul.
01:37:48.640 --> 01:37:50.239
He said, yo, what are you doing?
01:37:50.399 --> 01:37:56.000
Like, man, if you if you turn this down, like just take all of this, they just not gonna give you the license, but they'll give you everything else.
01:37:56.159 --> 01:38:00.319
But if you turn this away, then I don't know if any label is gonna come back knocking.
01:38:00.399 --> 01:38:01.680
I said, okay.
01:38:01.920 --> 01:38:07.439
Like I was like, worst case scenario, this song still does way better than anything I dropped prior to this.
01:38:07.600 --> 01:38:08.239
You feel me?
01:38:08.479 --> 01:38:11.840
So I drop it, nobody comes knocking.
01:38:12.079 --> 01:38:15.359
First day, it does like 230 out the gate.
01:38:15.600 --> 01:38:18.000
And then, you know, it does the little weekend dip, right?
01:38:18.079 --> 01:38:21.359
Like, but on the weekend, instead of dipping, it did 280.
01:38:21.600 --> 01:38:25.600
Then on that Sunday, when it's supposed to take the lowest dip, it did 315.
01:38:25.920 --> 01:38:31.039
330 on Monday, niggas call, hey, hey, hey, what was that thing you said you wanted to hurt up to sign this goddamn paper?
01:38:31.199 --> 01:38:32.239
Like, hey, you feel me?
01:38:32.319 --> 01:38:34.159
Like, so that was, it was cool.
01:38:34.239 --> 01:38:36.960
And it was cool because like, I ain't need nothing.
01:38:37.039 --> 01:38:40.800
I was like, I just need enough money to I need enough money to give my mom some.
01:38:40.960 --> 01:38:43.840
I need enough money to get myself a car, and I need enough money.
01:38:43.920 --> 01:38:44.960
I was wearing the same clothes.
01:38:45.039 --> 01:38:47.680
I was just in the, I'm a Philly nigga, so I was just wearing sweatpants all day.
01:38:47.760 --> 01:38:52.560
I was like, I need enough money to just get some clothes and maybe somewhere to stay at, but I can just stay in my mom's cradle.
01:38:52.640 --> 01:38:53.359
I don't give a fuck.
01:38:53.439 --> 01:38:55.840
Um, I was just so like, I just want to work.
01:38:56.159 --> 01:39:04.000
Um, and that worked out because, bro, like I think, I think on the out of the whole label, I'm the only one that recouped.
01:39:04.159 --> 01:39:05.520
You know, like I'm the only one.
01:39:05.600 --> 01:39:11.439
I had a, I nobody else had a had a, you know, nobody else got a got any checks from that shit after after the signing.
01:39:11.520 --> 01:39:16.640
Like, I'd have recouped, I recouped, took more money out, recouped it again, took more money out, recouped it again.
01:39:16.800 --> 01:39:19.680
I had a guy, it was a guy, his name is Mr.
01:39:19.760 --> 01:39:24.720
Herb, and we used to make music in my homie Kill's basement, and Herb lived right behind him.
01:39:24.800 --> 01:39:28.239
And Herb, he, nah, he'd come outside, knocking on the garage door uh one day.
01:39:28.319 --> 01:39:31.680
He's like, man, hey man, you know, y'all kids, man, y'all making that music.
01:39:31.760 --> 01:39:33.119
He said, I want to show y'all something.
01:39:33.279 --> 01:39:37.600
And he was like, he came back, he had this paper in his hand, and he was like, You see this?
01:39:37.840 --> 01:39:39.199
This is a royalty check.
01:39:39.359 --> 01:39:41.199
You'll probably never see this in your life again.
01:39:41.520 --> 01:39:44.640
But he said, you know, back then we used to always get royalty checks.
01:39:44.800 --> 01:39:48.560
And I always remembered that because I was like, I want a royalty check.
01:39:48.720 --> 01:39:50.960
Like I would just, you know, one of them acknowledgement things.
01:39:51.039 --> 01:39:53.920
I want to be able to prove him wrong and say, nah, I got a royalty check.
01:39:54.079 --> 01:39:58.159
I carry one of my royalty checks in my wallet every day.
01:39:58.319 --> 01:40:01.600
Just like, you know, it's whatever the numbers is on it.
01:40:01.680 --> 01:40:06.079
But it's like I carry a royalty check in my wallet every day from UMG recordings.
01:40:06.159 --> 01:40:10.079
Just I got I got half of the shit blocked out and all that.
01:40:10.159 --> 01:40:18.560
But this is my this is my royalty check, the UMG recordings to Legend Bell LLC that just show you, like, yeah, nah, I I did it.
01:40:18.720 --> 01:40:21.520
And this is one of, you know, I get these quarterly.
01:40:22.399 --> 01:40:30.000
With you being able to now uh do these things for your family, your your friends, and also for yourself, how did success change your relationships?
01:40:30.159 --> 01:40:36.479
Because I think a lot of people talk about, you know, success doesn't necessarily change you, it changes the people around you.
01:40:36.960 --> 01:40:38.000
Changed the people around you.
01:40:38.079 --> 01:40:39.199
I lost everything.
01:40:39.520 --> 01:40:40.800
I lost everything.
01:40:40.960 --> 01:40:47.600
I I I made uh that album, I hate that album, but that album was about, it was about the change.
01:40:47.840 --> 01:40:59.520
It was like before success, it was, I remember it was me, it was my DJ, my homie Christian, uh, my brother, my girl, my my other homie who used to do my hair.
01:40:59.680 --> 01:41:01.520
She was the one that put the beads in my hair and all that.
01:41:01.920 --> 01:41:05.439
It was a whole little, like, a little cluster, a little conglomerate of people.
01:41:05.680 --> 01:41:07.840
One by one, it just started falling off.
01:41:08.000 --> 01:41:09.359
Me and my girl was the first thing.
01:41:09.439 --> 01:41:14.079
It was like, me and the homie that did my hair, they got closer.
01:41:14.319 --> 01:41:19.439
And as they got closer, me and my girl got further away from each other.
01:41:19.760 --> 01:41:32.880
And I was dealing with everything in the moment, and I think she was dealing with me, like this new version of me, and trying to like, trying to balance out the celebrity version of you with the the you I know you as.
01:41:32.960 --> 01:41:36.000
And I think things already was Rocky prior to all of it.
01:41:36.079 --> 01:41:38.960
So it just like, it's compounded and compounded.
01:41:39.039 --> 01:41:44.399
And I was holding on to that for so long, and I came back from the road.
01:41:44.560 --> 01:41:49.359
I came back from the road, I came to her house and I just started crying.
01:41:49.520 --> 01:41:52.800
I don't even be, I be, I'd be saying this all day, I don't even be crying like that.
01:41:52.880 --> 01:42:01.760
But like, that was like
a I'm calling it quits with somebody that I never could imagine myself calling it quits with.
01:42:02.000 --> 01:42:07.439
Um and that that affected the relationship next to it.
01:42:07.520 --> 01:42:13.760
I took all the homies on the road with me, and one by one, all the homies on the road, it started, you know what I mean?
01:42:14.000 --> 01:42:15.199
Like everything started crumbling.
01:42:15.279 --> 01:42:16.640
This person feels away about that.
01:42:16.800 --> 01:42:18.319
This person feels away with this.
01:42:18.399 --> 01:42:23.199
Like, and then I just started watching it all, and I came out here the second time when I moved out here.
01:42:23.439 --> 01:42:26.800
Um, I got a place for everybody.
01:42:26.960 --> 01:42:30.000
I was like, yo, we all gonna move to LA.
01:42:30.239 --> 01:42:36.560
By the time the lease was signed, I was in the middle, standing in the middle of that bitch, like the last episode of Fresh Prince.
01:42:37.199 --> 01:42:39.439
I'm just like, damn, where everybody go?
01:42:39.520 --> 01:42:40.800
Like, you know what I'm saying?
01:42:41.199 --> 01:42:47.439
Um, and that was like, that was just a harsh reality of like, wow, there was so many people here.
01:42:47.520 --> 01:42:52.720
Like, there was a whole community, it was a tribe of people here, and now it's just me.
01:42:53.119 --> 01:42:59.600
You know, and I didn't have to deal with that because as everybody fell off and fell off and fell off, I was still on the road.
01:42:59.760 --> 01:43:06.399
I was still on the road, and I'm like, I'm witnessing it happening, but I'm like, I haven't had a chance to sit down and process everything.
01:43:06.479 --> 01:43:07.279
You feel me?
01:43:07.439 --> 01:43:08.800
Um, yeah, it changed everything.
01:43:08.960 --> 01:43:10.319
It changed my relationship with my mom.
01:43:10.479 --> 01:43:11.520
We good now.
01:43:11.760 --> 01:43:19.680
But for that first, like, that first little bit of time, it was just, it was, I think she didn't understand how record deals work.
01:43:19.840 --> 01:43:22.319
So it was like, oh nigga, they gave you that much money.
01:43:22.560 --> 01:43:24.239
They must be giving you some more money too.
01:43:24.399 --> 01:43:26.239
And they must be giving you some like, what's up?
01:43:26.399 --> 01:43:27.039
Nigga, bring something.
01:43:27.119 --> 01:43:28.960
I got, I got this, I wanna get done, that I wanna get done.
01:43:29.039 --> 01:43:30.720
And I'm like, hey, mom, time up.
01:43:31.920 --> 01:43:33.840
You know, and it was this is before tours.
01:43:34.159 --> 01:43:35.600
I'm like, I ain't got shit else.
01:43:35.680 --> 01:43:37.199
Like, what I gave you is what I got.
01:43:37.279 --> 01:43:39.119
I still gotta figure out my other shit.
01:43:39.359 --> 01:43:54.079
Um, that changed like a lot of shit between me and her, and it and it got mended later on down the line, but um, it just was, it was tricky because nobody, you know, you can't, you can't really explain this to anybody.
01:43:54.239 --> 01:43:56.720
It's not what what we're doing doesn't make sense.
01:43:56.880 --> 01:43:57.520
You know what I'm saying?
01:43:57.600 --> 01:44:01.520
It's like, yo, I had an idea, I wrote it down, and it worked out, and now there's a hundred thousand dollars.
01:44:01.680 --> 01:44:07.119
Or, yo, there's a million dollars right here because I I did a thing and just go do another thing.
01:44:07.279 --> 01:44:09.520
Um I remember it's like, oh, this song wasn't playing on the radio.
01:44:09.680 --> 01:44:11.760
Monty, you should really call the radio station and see if it.
01:44:12.479 --> 01:44:15.760
I'm like, man, you know, but they just don't understand it.
01:44:16.000 --> 01:44:16.399
For sure.
01:44:16.479 --> 01:44:22.239
The value of money is a conversation because I think before you have money, you think it's this completely unattainable thing.
01:44:22.319 --> 01:44:22.399
Yeah.
01:44:22.560 --> 01:44:28.000
And then once you actually start to like get money, you realize how how much, like you realize that it's everywhere.
01:44:28.159 --> 01:44:32.800
And that if you do the right things, you definitely can make money.
01:44:33.039 --> 01:44:33.279
Exactly.
01:44:33.439 --> 01:44:38.239
But then once you actually have it in your hands, you realize how fragile it is.
01:44:38.319 --> 01:44:38.720
Exactly.
01:44:38.880 --> 01:44:45.439
And how there's never a guarantee that you might be able to come across this amount of wealth in the future.
01:44:45.920 --> 01:44:52.800
So uh you you know, you go through your cycle of like overspending and you're like, that easy come, easy go is a real thing.
01:44:52.880 --> 01:44:56.479
Like you're like, wow, I blew through X amount of dollars and X amount of time.
01:44:56.640 --> 01:44:56.800
Yeah.
01:44:56.960 --> 01:45:01.920
Um and it just I guess financial maturity is the is the is the name of it.
01:45:02.000 --> 01:45:05.439
Like you start to learn how to actually manage your assets over time.
01:45:05.840 --> 01:45:12.640
The problem is you're learning this by yourself, and maybe people that never got to that point are not also learning these lessons.
01:45:12.720 --> 01:45:16.239
So they're like, okay, well, you you know the dream happened.
01:45:16.479 --> 01:45:18.880
Why everything should be good now?
01:45:19.039 --> 01:45:20.720
Like the the pot should be infinite.
01:45:20.800 --> 01:45:23.439
Like you said, you should be able to keep going back to the well and getting more.
01:45:23.680 --> 01:45:23.840
Right.
01:45:24.000 --> 01:45:27.279
I don't think that, I don't think they teach financial literacy to black people.
01:45:27.439 --> 01:45:28.159
I don't think they do.
01:45:28.319 --> 01:45:31.119
And like the way I learned it was way before all of this shit.
01:45:31.279 --> 01:45:32.720
I used to throw parties in Philly.
01:45:32.800 --> 01:45:34.560
We had like a bunch of little party groups and shit.
01:45:34.640 --> 01:45:43.439
So like we
had uh I was a part of Fuck It Up Boys and TFO, and like there was like um Rise of Stars, a bunch of like these little party groups, and then we did like a cluster West Philly thing.
01:45:43.600 --> 01:45:58.479
Um, but we throw it all in a pot, yo, five people put up 200, and then you know, the party is sell out, we make 10,000 so everybody get, you know, um 2,000 back, and then you know, we we we take some money, go shopping, take the rest of the money, throw it in, throw it in the pot.
01:45:58.560 --> 01:46:04.479
But you see, I'm I'm coming across, I'm 14, 15 years old, coming across$2,000,$2,500.
01:46:04.880 --> 01:46:11.680
And then when party scene died, though, I looked at how much money I had left and then where it all went.
01:46:11.840 --> 01:46:15.520
I bought all these Abercrombie shirts that my mom shrunk in the washing machines.
01:46:15.600 --> 01:46:16.640
I can't even wear them no more.
01:46:16.720 --> 01:46:22.800
I bought all these Armani Exchange shirts and they all shrunk, they're skinny as shit now, mosquitoes, bit holes in them and shit like that.
01:46:22.960 --> 01:46:30.079
And I'm like, yo, I never want to lose my money like this again, just trying to play keep up and catch up with everybody.
01:46:30.159 --> 01:46:35.760
We buying, we 14, 15 years old, buying$300 prod of shoes,$400 pride shoes.
01:46:35.840 --> 01:46:37.199
It's like, for what?
01:46:37.439 --> 01:46:38.159
You feel me?
01:46:38.239 --> 01:46:44.000
And so in that moment, when I got uh I got in a car accident afterwards, and that car accident, I got$15,000.
01:46:44.239 --> 01:46:47.760
I stretched that$15 for like two years up into the Dorito shit.
01:46:48.079 --> 01:46:49.760
The Doritos, I got$50,000.
01:46:50.000 --> 01:46:51.279
I had a manager at the time.
01:46:51.439 --> 01:46:53.600
I said, hey, I'm not touching this.
01:46:53.760 --> 01:46:54.880
Can you take this from me?
01:46:55.119 --> 01:47:00.640
Because I'm genuinely scared of what the fuck I would do if I had access to the money.
01:47:00.800 --> 01:47:03.840
And it just like we put it in a separate account for years.
01:47:03.920 --> 01:47:08.479
I was just like, I it was like I was only chipping out$1,000 out of that account.
01:47:08.560 --> 01:47:10.319
Like, you know, it just if I needed it.
01:47:10.479 --> 01:47:12.239
$1,000, chip it out of that account, chip it out.
01:47:12.399 --> 01:47:14.159
Because I had no way to put the money back in.
01:47:14.319 --> 01:47:15.840
I just had a way to take the money out.
01:47:15.920 --> 01:47:21.199
But that was how I learned financially, like you just said, like I learned it from a perspective of I never had a job.
01:47:21.359 --> 01:47:22.239
Never had a job in my life.
01:47:22.319 --> 01:47:24.239
I had to work at Chipotle for 30 minutes.
01:47:24.399 --> 01:47:24.960
You know what I'm saying?
01:47:25.039 --> 01:47:26.960
So I never had a real job.
01:47:27.199 --> 01:47:38.880
Um so there was never a moment in my life where it was like, yo, this money's coming this week and it's gonna come next week, and it's gonna come the week after that, or every two weeks, or whatever the however nigga they paid at work, I don't know, but you know what I'm saying?
01:47:39.119 --> 01:47:45.199
Man, it's crazy when you when you find that success, uh, how it comes with a whole it's like going to school all over again.
01:47:45.359 --> 01:47:47.840
But it's also money, especially out here.
01:47:48.000 --> 01:48:02.479
Like you think about, like, I don't know, like if say rent is$5,000 or rent is$10,000, like, you know, you think about how much money we spend in a month out here, versus, you know, you tell somebody, like, they like, yeah, I need this much money, it's like, nigga, you know what I mean?
01:48:02.560 --> 01:48:15.680
Like, it's like the the amount of money that we go through just to survive over here is like, yo, like, you know, I know it sounds crazy that we blowing through$10,000, but$10,000 ain't even that much in this motherfucker.
01:48:16.079 --> 01:48:17.039
It costs money to make money.
01:48:17.359 --> 01:48:25.680
Because essentially, for you to have proximity to the opportunities that create that type of wealth to begin with, you also have to play ball, you gotta spend the amount of money.
01:48:25.760 --> 01:48:35.039
So um, even though it's it's cool that money can go a longer way in other places, it's like you still have to manage yourself because you have to take care of yourself at the end of the day.
01:48:35.119 --> 01:48:40.000
If you're not good, then there's no way that you can help the other people around you, otherwise, otherwise everything goes away.
01:48:40.159 --> 01:48:46.800
So going back to relationships, how did uh Billy Eilish impact your relationship with Billie Eilish?
01:48:48.159 --> 01:48:49.199
I mean, it started it.
01:48:49.680 --> 01:48:49.920
Yeah.
01:48:50.800 --> 01:48:56.079
Um I was, yeah, I like to be honest, Billy doesn't like meeting people before shows and stuff like that.
01:48:56.239 --> 01:49:02.560
Um, but there was a, I'm like a couple years prior, right before the pandemic, was when I had wrote the idea.
01:49:02.640 --> 01:49:06.720
Um, or like I thought about like I had the initial thought, and a couple years later I wrote the idea.
01:49:06.880 --> 01:49:10.800
But um we played Austin City Limits the same day.
01:49:10.960 --> 01:49:13.920
And I remember being like, yeah, I want to meet her, I want to meet her.
01:49:14.159 --> 01:49:17.039
And they was like, yeah, she don't really do the whole.
01:49:17.199 --> 01:49:19.520
But I was like, why she got them big ass clothes on?
01:49:19.600 --> 01:49:21.359
Like she had just like walking around big ass clothes.
01:49:21.439 --> 01:49:22.960
That was her like her big clothes era.
01:49:23.359 --> 01:49:33.039
Um and I was like, I'm like, damn, like, you know, back home, like on some them franchise boys era, like when them niggas wore big clothes, it was
because they had some shit on them.
01:49:33.119 --> 01:49:39.039
Like, and I was laughing, like I wrote the, like, later on, I was sitting on the toilet, I wrote the idea as a joke.
01:49:39.279 --> 01:49:47.920
And once we made the, you know, we made the song, I had um, we made the song, I had, you know, it happened or whatever, and she she had liked the message, reposted the shit.
01:49:48.000 --> 01:49:48.720
That's how we got it clear.
01:49:48.800 --> 01:49:52.399
It was like her reposting it was we took that to UMG and was like, yo, she fucks with it, nigga.
01:49:52.479 --> 01:49:53.439
Give us a green light.
01:49:53.680 --> 01:49:59.760
Um, but you had to go, it wasn't until October of that year.
01:50:01.039 --> 01:50:05.600
I've heard, I heard like Bad Guy, and I heard uh it was like some song from My Boy.
01:50:05.680 --> 01:50:07.359
It was a song called My Boy and my homie Troy.
01:50:07.439 --> 01:50:08.960
Uh, Troy Boy had done a remix to it.
01:50:09.039 --> 01:50:09.840
So I heard, I heard it.
01:50:09.920 --> 01:50:11.600
That was the first time I heard it was through that.
01:50:11.760 --> 01:50:20.000
Um, and then like Oceanize or whatever, like on like a SoundCloud link a while prior to that, but wasn't really familiar fully with the catalog.
01:50:20.319 --> 01:50:29.520
Uh I was in, I was in Germany, and it was when me and my girl were officially like kind of at the end, at the end of the road.
01:50:29.600 --> 01:50:42.079
I was in Germany, we was in a real bad argument, and I hung up, and I'm sitting in the hotel at three in the morning, and I'm like, you know, I done went all the way around the fucking world yelling this woman's name.
01:50:42.239 --> 01:50:43.920
I never actually listened to her music.
01:50:44.079 --> 01:50:44.720
You know what I'm saying?
01:50:44.880 --> 01:50:48.800
So I was sitting like, let me just dive into the catalog.
01:50:48.960 --> 01:50:52.319
Like, other than the four or five songs I know, let me dive into her catalog.
01:50:52.560 --> 01:50:55.840
Um, and I played uh happier than ever.
01:50:56.239 --> 01:51:03.359
And it, the way it hit me in the moment when it happened, like I just got off the phone arguing with uh my girl.
01:51:03.600 --> 01:51:09.520
And then the first lyric was like, when I'm away from you, I'm happier than ever.
01:51:10.800 --> 01:51:12.720
Man, right here, hit me right here.
01:51:12.880 --> 01:51:16.079
I was like, oh shit, nigga, she's spitting.
01:51:16.560 --> 01:51:17.359
You know what I'm saying?
01:51:17.520 --> 01:51:20.079
So um, but it I think it affected me.
01:51:20.159 --> 01:51:31.439
Like, even, you know, the funny thing is that I say I tell that story because when we first met was when we did this show on stage together at Oshega, and we were just talking about playing Uno together and then playing and doing playing rocking go-karts and shit like that.
01:51:31.520 --> 01:51:33.199
And then she's like, yo, but you want to come out on stage?
01:51:33.279 --> 01:51:36.319
I'm like, fuck yeah, why wouldn't I want to come out on stage?
01:51:36.560 --> 01:51:44.239
Um, she uh uh we get when when I get there, I go out there and I do the show.
01:51:44.319 --> 01:51:48.159
I do the little like, you know, I run out, it's like we break internet history and all that shit, like this big moment.
01:51:48.399 --> 01:51:48.720
It was insane.
01:51:48.800 --> 01:51:49.680
I've seen the video.
01:51:49.920 --> 01:51:53.119
It was like, you know, I didn't even realize how crazy it was in the moment.
01:51:53.199 --> 01:51:56.239
I was just like, you know, it was like it hit me as soon as it happened.
01:51:56.319 --> 01:51:58.319
Like, I mean, right after it happened.
01:51:58.640 --> 01:52:02.720
But right after I got on stage off the stage, what song does she play?
01:52:02.960 --> 01:52:05.279
When I'm away from you.
01:52:05.680 --> 01:52:16.880
And I got to see the difference of like, here's a bunch of people who know your song versus here's a bunch of people who feel your song, like, who feel like they wrote that song for themselves.
01:52:17.039 --> 01:52:19.760
Um, and it changed my perspective on writing.
01:52:19.840 --> 01:52:28.159
Because I was like, yo, the shit that you're writing is like, it's almost like you're sitting in the middle of your crowd and you're writing out what everybody's feeling.
01:52:28.239 --> 01:52:35.520
You're looking around you and writing out what everybody's feeling, versus like I'm standing above a crowd and I'm writing about myself.
01:52:35.600 --> 01:52:37.520
I didn't want to write about myself anymore.
01:52:37.680 --> 01:52:41.840
I was like, nah, like I wanna write, I wanna strip all this shit down.
01:52:41.920 --> 01:52:44.720
Like, nigga, I stopped, I said, fuck this jewelry, fuck everything.
01:52:45.039 --> 01:52:54.800
I want to just be me, the me that relates to people, the me that is like, you know, when I when I looked at Kanye West when I was a kid, it was like Kanye was fearless.
01:52:54.880 --> 01:52:59.600
I was like, I want to be fearless, but at the same time, Kanye felt like a weird kid from Chicago.
01:52:59.760 --> 01:53:03.359
He felt like a weird kid, you know, take Chicago out of it, just from the hood.
01:53:03.520 --> 01:53:07.119
Yeah, weird kid from a from a neighborhood that was familiar to me.
01:53:07.279 --> 01:53:10.159
Um, but he wasn't just the neighborhood.
01:53:10.319 --> 01:53:14.239
He wasn't just the nigga with a flip phone and, you know, like, like, you know, talking to the whatever.
01:53:14.319 --> 01:53:27.920
He was like, he was creative, he was explorative, and like that's where I was like, damn, when I look at the Billie Eilishes, like, she's mending with her tribe, mending, like, like mending a language and a culture with the people in the community.
01:53:28.079 --> 01:53:29.119
And that's what, you know.
01:53:29.359 --> 01:53:33.279
Yeah, I'm saying a whole bunch about what the our relationship
though, outside of that was.
01:53:34.560 --> 01:53:36.239
Yeah, our relationship outside of that was great, though.
01:53:36.560 --> 01:53:43.119
There's a moment where when she won her Grammys and all that for like the Barbie shit, we uh she had told me to come to our Grammy party.
01:53:43.359 --> 01:53:55.439
Whereas the funniest shit because it's like, Billy, like, I like I remember telling her, I'm like, yo, like, I ain't know you, know you before this, but like to know you is to know, like, you really a cool ass nigga.
01:53:55.520 --> 01:53:57.359
Like, but like, like a nigga, like you know what I'm saying?
01:53:57.439 --> 01:54:03.520
Like, like obviously she's a white girl, but like, she like on some cultural shit, she fucked with rap and fuck with hip-hop and shit.
01:54:03.600 --> 01:54:09.119
We at her party, it's just me, her, it's two of my homies, and I think Zane.
01:54:09.279 --> 01:54:18.399
And we in the middle of the field, we in the middle of the floor, rapping, Waka Flocka, hard in the paint, like word for word going back and forth, like Lee, you stinking.
01:54:18.560 --> 01:54:19.840
What the fuck you thinking?
01:54:19.920 --> 01:54:35.279
But like all of her, like the people around her, like her big herd of, you know, media people, person like Blabo and all that, they sitting there like I mean that that goes to show you like how hip hop has just a massive impact and influence worldwide.
01:54:35.359 --> 01:54:35.439
Yeah.
01:54:35.600 --> 01:54:39.920
But regardless of who you are, and it's like, you know, obviously the type of music that she does.
01:54:40.000 --> 01:54:44.560
I think there's a lot of there's a lot of influence there, and obviously the style of dress and everything like that.
01:54:44.720 --> 01:54:45.039
Yeah.
01:54:45.279 --> 01:54:48.800
Like you said, pulling straight from them franchise boys, things like that.
01:54:48.960 --> 01:54:54.800
So um I think that's why there's able to be such a uh a connection and synergy between the two of you.
01:54:54.880 --> 01:54:54.960
Yeah.
01:54:55.119 --> 01:55:00.880
Because imagine if she wasn't that type of artist and she heard somebody do a song called Billy Eyelish, she might have been like, what the heck?
01:55:00.960 --> 01:55:02.079
Like, I don't want anything to do with that.
01:55:02.319 --> 01:55:02.560
Exactly.
01:55:02.800 --> 01:55:10.399
So even the fact that she was willing to embrace you in that way, I think says a lot about who she is as a person and um a lot of her early influences as well.
01:55:10.479 --> 01:55:13.920
So it'd be good to eventually hear more about that from her also.
01:55:14.239 --> 01:55:17.199
Um, just a few more questions and then we'll get out of here.
01:55:17.359 --> 01:55:32.399
Uh, I guess going back to what you were saying about being influenced by that moment on stage, I actually had a question about having a song that was that is as successful as Billie Eilish and it blowing up in the way that it did on TikTok.
01:55:32.560 --> 01:55:34.079
It's a joyous song.
01:55:34.239 --> 01:55:40.720
Um, the question was going to be I guess, how does that influence the way that you make music going forward?
01:55:40.880 --> 01:55:44.880
Do you feel like you're trying to chase another moment like that again?
01:55:45.039 --> 01:55:53.039
Um, but based on what you're saying, in terms of like you want to make more meaningful music, I see the artistic kind of progression, right?
01:55:53.119 --> 01:56:08.239
It's like you have who Armani White is, the things that he's been through, um, but then wanting to make music that is more joyous, shows his personality more, you find success there, and now you're in a place where it's like, okay, well, I want to make music that's more artistic.
01:56:21.600 --> 01:56:27.600
I have no problem being the like fun person or the person that brings light to people's lives.
01:56:27.920 --> 01:56:31.520
My uncle Tyrone was the guy who told me to do the music.
01:56:31.600 --> 01:56:33.039
Like, like I was like, my mom.
01:56:33.199 --> 01:56:34.640
My mom did not want me to do music.
01:56:34.720 --> 01:56:35.920
My mom was not fucking with it.
01:56:36.000 --> 01:56:38.239
She was like, go to college, fuck that music shit.
01:56:38.479 --> 01:56:42.399
My uncle said, your mom's not going to understand it because it's not real.
01:56:42.640 --> 01:56:43.840
You have to make something real.
01:56:43.920 --> 01:56:46.239
You have to make it really happen, and then she'll get it.
01:56:46.399 --> 01:56:48.800
My uncle Tyrone in 2014 was killed.
01:56:48.880 --> 01:56:51.680
He was shot and killed in uh Northeast Philly.
01:56:51.920 --> 01:56:56.560
And in that moment, I went to the studio and I said, I just need to make the funnest fucking song I can make.
01:56:56.720 --> 01:56:58.640
That it just gets my mind off of it.
01:56:58.800 --> 01:57:05.199
When my dad, when I went to pull up on my dad and we held each other and we cried, after a while it got so overwhelming that I left.
01:57:05.439 --> 01:57:08.640
And at the time I became friends with uh this white boy named Louie.
01:57:08.720 --> 01:57:10.079
Louis is still my friend to this day.
01:57:10.239 --> 01:57:11.439
And I went to Louie's house.
01:57:11.520 --> 01:57:19.359
I didn't tell him what was going on, but I said, I need to make the funnest fucking song I can possibly make right now to just remove me from what's actually going on.
01:57:19.520 --> 01:57:24.079
And we made this song called Rewind, which ultimately, like, he took me on the road for it and all that shit.
01:57:24.159 --> 01:57:27.439
It kind of, it ultimately changed the trajectory of what was going on in my life.
01:57:27.760 --> 01:57:34.479
But the, I guess what's more important now is less about being like, oh, I don't want to make fun shit, I want to make like more meaningful shit.
01:57:34.560 --> 01:57:39.840
It's just like, even if we make something that's fun, it's like you understand that the fun
is coming from a place of pain.
01:57:40.000 --> 01:57:45.439
It's like, you know, like I'm I'm dancing, I'm crying, I'm dancing, I'm laughing, I'm enjoying myself.
01:57:45.760 --> 01:57:50.479
But to escape what this reality is, because that's the thing that people can relate to.
01:57:50.560 --> 01:57:56.640
It's like, so when a lot of people talk to me and they say, like, yo, like, you know, your music, it gives me hope.
01:57:56.880 --> 01:58:00.000
That's what I want to, that's, you know, I'm selling hope.
01:58:00.079 --> 01:58:06.239
I'm selling the meaningless drug of hope to the person who believes in hope and they believe that it can change.
01:58:06.319 --> 01:58:10.720
Because a lot of times it's never the situation, it's just your outlook on the situation.
01:58:10.880 --> 01:58:17.760
And sometimes I need to be that version of like, when you look at the kid who lost everything in 2006, it's a kid.
01:58:17.920 --> 01:58:35.920
When you look at the person who held his hand, held his father's hand until he was no longer there, the the uncle that was the guy who really believed that it can work out, and he was the one that was giving you the, you know, the battery in your back, and he's taken from you, all these things are taken and pulled from you and pulled from you, and you still stand up and say, I can do this, and it works out, that's hope.
01:58:36.000 --> 01:58:36.640
You have hope.
01:58:36.720 --> 01:58:47.359
You and and and I I stand to test the time and be that beacon of hope for somebody that's looking at me that says, Wow, if you can enjoy yourself with everything that you're going through, I hope no one goes through what I went through.
01:58:47.520 --> 01:58:53.680
But if I can instill and stand up and enjoy myself, make a joke, laugh, whatever, then I feel like you can too.
01:58:53.840 --> 01:58:54.239
You know.
01:58:54.399 --> 01:58:57.359
So Well, that lends itself to your emotional support, homie.
01:58:57.600 --> 01:58:57.680
Yes.
01:58:58.239 --> 01:58:59.920
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
01:59:00.079 --> 01:59:01.439
Uh, which I think is dope.
01:59:01.520 --> 01:59:03.920
And I think even what you said about selling hope.
01:59:04.079 --> 01:59:09.680
I think about like meetings that I've had with labels or just what I know about the industry, they're always asking you, like, who's your demographic?
01:59:09.760 --> 01:59:11.600
What is the message you're trying to get across?
01:59:11.680 --> 01:59:15.680
And I think that's a really great and succinct way to articulate that.
01:59:15.840 --> 01:59:19.520
But it also goes back to what I said about joy as resistance for you, right?
01:59:19.680 --> 01:59:27.760
Like who you are, your personality, the type of music that you make being the counter to the traumatic experiences that you have had.
01:59:28.000 --> 01:59:38.479
So the last segment I want to go into, um, your relationship with the justice system didn't end after the quote-unquote arson situation.
01:59:38.960 --> 01:59:50.159
Um, I want to get into criminal justice reform, but before that, tell me the story about when you tried to shoot a music video on a highway and got arrested.
01:59:50.479 --> 01:59:53.520
So, plot twist.
01:59:53.680 --> 01:59:57.039
I never tried to shoot a music video on a highway.
01:59:57.199 --> 01:59:58.880
We pulled the car over.
01:59:59.199 --> 02:00:04.479
The driver was tired, and he was like, yo, man, you know, like you're just trying to find a shit.
02:00:04.560 --> 02:00:07.520
You don't want to get like some videos or something with pictures or whatever.
02:00:07.760 --> 02:00:09.840
And I was like, okay, I mean, I guess we can get a video.
02:00:09.920 --> 02:00:15.600
Like, we can get a picture of some shit just on the on the side of the highway, not like in the highway, not on the street or anything like that.
02:00:15.760 --> 02:00:19.039
On the side of the highway, just get some pictures, take a couple flicks or whatever.
02:00:19.279 --> 02:00:21.359
Um, and we barely was out there.
02:00:21.439 --> 02:00:23.600
Like, we, I'm talking about, we probably pulled over.
02:00:23.680 --> 02:00:25.520
We were sitting in the car, we're still on the phone with my mom.
02:00:25.600 --> 02:00:29.119
So we were sitting in the car longer than we was actually outside of the car.
02:00:29.359 --> 02:00:35.520
Uh, and we did a couple things, and man, next thing I know, I just see like three cop cars coming down.
02:00:35.600 --> 02:00:38.399
And they're like, boy, what the hell are you doing on this side of this road here?
02:00:38.560 --> 02:00:40.800
And I'm like, Because we're this is in Kentucky.
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Kentucky, Kentucky.
02:00:41.920 --> 02:00:44.399
And we're like, yeah, we're and I'm again, I'm from Philly.
02:00:44.479 --> 02:00:46.239
I never seen racism, racism.
02:00:46.479 --> 02:00:50.800
Like, I've seen a little bit of it, but I've never been like in some like, yo, you got nowhere to go.
02:00:50.960 --> 02:00:52.640
It's you, you and me, boy.
02:00:52.720 --> 02:00:54.560
Like, I ain't never seen that type of shit.
02:00:54.880 --> 02:00:58.880
And so I'm like, nah, yo, we was just, you know, we headed out to Atlanta.
02:00:58.960 --> 02:01:00.880
He's like, oh, well, you're headed to jail now, buddy.
02:01:01.039 --> 02:01:02.479
I said, huh?
02:01:03.119 --> 02:01:05.680
He said, yeah, you put your hands behind your back and woo-woo.
02:01:05.840 --> 02:01:06.800
And then he goes sit me in the car.
02:01:06.960 --> 02:01:09.359
And I'm like, there's no way this is real.
02:01:09.520 --> 02:01:10.880
There's no way this is.
02:01:11.039 --> 02:01:17.359
And, you know, and I and I say that because like, obviously, I get in there, we do, like, the whole shit happens or whatever.
02:01:17.520 --> 02:01:27.039
Um, I take the dumb mug shot, and the mug shot was really like, the importance behind the mug shot was I was like, I know I'm being criminalized for something that is
not criminal.
02:01:27.279 --> 02:01:33.600
Um, I know there's a chance that this could even make it across the internet, which it did, but I know this it might even make it on the news, which it did.
02:01:33.680 --> 02:01:38.239
And I was like, maybe I'm overshooting and thinking of myself more important than I actually am, which I wasn't.
02:01:38.560 --> 02:01:40.880
All of it happened exactly how I thought it was.
02:01:41.119 --> 02:01:48.560
And I was like, I refuse to make a mug shot, I refuse to let a mugshot of me exist in a world where I'm just sitting here like on some mean shit.
02:01:48.640 --> 02:01:50.960
Because then you type my name in and that's exactly what pops up.
02:01:51.119 --> 02:01:55.359
If you type in a mug shot and I'm in that bitch, like, now's a story.
02:01:55.520 --> 02:01:57.119
But what the fuck actually happened here?
02:01:57.279 --> 02:01:58.079
And nothing happened.
02:01:58.159 --> 02:01:58.880
You wanna know?
02:01:59.039 --> 02:02:05.600
To be honest, if you you look my name up, I walked out of there with a parking ticket or a traffic violation.
02:02:05.920 --> 02:02:11.439
A$50 traffic violation is I got arrested for a$50 traffic violation.
02:02:11.760 --> 02:02:13.439
They didn't even, they I didn't even sit in jail.
02:02:13.520 --> 02:02:14.720
I sat in the little lobby area.
02:02:14.800 --> 02:02:16.720
I was on the phone the whole time, ordering Uber Eats and shit.
02:02:16.800 --> 02:02:17.680
Like, you know what I'm saying?
02:02:17.760 --> 02:02:21.119
Like, but I sat in there for a$50 traffic violation.
02:02:21.199 --> 02:02:25.520
I'm like, damn, like, y'all really was just trying to make a point.
02:02:25.680 --> 02:02:28.079
And and, you know, shout out to my guy Trent.
02:02:28.159 --> 02:02:29.840
Trent, Trent thought he was doing something cool.
02:02:29.920 --> 02:02:32.399
He's like, yo, look, I'm the one up TMZ that got it posted.
02:02:32.479 --> 02:02:34.159
And I'm like, why the fuck would you do that?
02:02:34.479 --> 02:02:37.119
You the reason that's all over the internet right now.
02:02:37.279 --> 02:02:51.520
Um, but I think, yeah, I think that was, it was one of those things, one of those moments because it wasn't really me that even wanted to be out of the car, but it's one of those moments just like, you gotta remember that you're the leader and you can't be the one that is allowing certain shit.
02:02:51.600 --> 02:02:54.000
You gotta be the nigga that just be like, man, you know, I'm falling back.
02:02:54.159 --> 02:02:54.960
You know what I'm saying?
02:02:55.039 --> 02:02:56.640
And and have enough revisions.
02:02:56.960 --> 02:03:07.920
Yeah, I mean, I personally I think there's a lot that is powerful about the fact that you did the smile, you know, on the mugshot and how how like far that went, how many people saw it.
02:03:08.159 --> 02:03:23.600
And I think the message got across in terms of like, you're not gonna demonize me or make me into the villain or the
delinquent that you want me to be just because I'm a black man in America, kind of like what we talked about in the beginning of our conversation.
02:03:23.760 --> 02:03:33.359
Um and yeah, I think when when people look at that, they can't do anything but smile at it because, you know, you're not telling a sad story of you being in there.
02:03:33.439 --> 02:03:37.760
You're telling a story of like, I'm still who I am, regardless of what you guys try to paint me up to be.
02:03:38.079 --> 02:03:39.199
And that's extremely powerful.
02:03:39.359 --> 02:03:46.239
It's a it's an extremely powerful thing to do without saying anything, without necessarily doing anything, right?
02:03:46.319 --> 02:03:50.560
You did what they wanted you to do, but you did it in your in your own way, and they had to oblige to that.
02:03:50.800 --> 02:03:55.840
So tell me about, I'm I'm guessing, did this inspire the Bell Project?
02:03:56.239 --> 02:03:58.720
Um if it did, tell me about the Bell Project.
02:03:59.199 --> 02:04:01.199
I did it inspired to working with the Bell Project.
02:04:01.279 --> 02:04:10.239
I I still get it's it's tough though, because I get DMs and stuff or like I get messages, mentions and all that, where it's like somebody that the Bell Project was working with, they helped Bell it out.
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They like it was somebody recently.
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They just, they just murdered a wife, things like that.
02:04:13.920 --> 02:04:21.439
And it's like, it's, you know, it's always tricky being in those, you know, being in those situations where you're trying to stand up for somebody.
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Like you say, like where you're like, I'm gonna stand behind and support the person who may not commit, may not have committed the murder yet, but will commit the murder.
02:04:31.439 --> 02:04:36.399
Um, it get tricky because, you know, you try to, you try to just see the good in everybody.
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You try to like hope for the better, hope that somebody's gonna like turn this shit around.
02:04:40.319 --> 02:04:47.760
Like I've I've known, you know, can't call it by name, but I've known people who've been convicted of murder.
02:04:47.920 --> 02:04:50.399
I've known people who have been acquitted of murder.
02:04:50.479 --> 02:04:55.680
I've known people who may have never even seen anything regarding murder, but they probably did some shit.
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And you get to watch those people grow up, mature, change their life around.
02:04:59.520 --> 02:05:03.680
You get to watch these people like go through the thing and turn into a completely different person.
02:05:03.920 --> 02:05:09.600
And sometimes it's for the bad, but not always does that turn into a negative scenario.
02:05:09.840 --> 02:05:13.039
So I try to be like, you know, I try to be hopeful.
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You understand?
02:05:13.840 --> 02:05:19.840
Like, some of my closest family members
is like, I've heard a story of this person took someone's life.
02:05:20.000 --> 02:05:23.520
And I had to grow, I heard the story after I loved this person.
02:05:23.680 --> 02:05:24.399
You know what I'm saying?
02:05:24.479 --> 02:05:33.199
I heard the story after I've already grown to know who this person is, not as a murderer, but as a family man, as a, you know, as a whatever it may be.
02:05:33.439 --> 02:05:44.399
So when you think about that, I'm just like, that thing, whatever that incident, that moment was that happened, it didn't portray who this person was on the full, you know, the full scale of their life.
02:05:44.640 --> 02:05:46.399
It portrayed what happened in that moment.
02:05:46.640 --> 02:06:01.600
So I try to, I, yeah, I I just try to be open-minded, but um, you know, and that's where the Bell Project kind of thing uh came to life, is just trying to be open-minded, but you have these m instances where it doesn't always pan out that way.
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And I'm not mad about what I did in terms of like supporting the Bell Project.
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But I think initiatives like that are always necessary because especially now that we have updated technology, we we're seeing so many instances of people that were, you know, um locked up uh for the wrong reasons, or um, you know, it was a crime that they didn't actually commit.
02:06:21.680 --> 02:06:33.600
Uh, and they're finding out 10, 20, 30 years later, uh, you know, we're seeing what's happening with people that were locked up for nonviolent crimes, with drugs being legalized and all those types of things.
02:06:33.680 --> 02:06:45.760
But then also just police brutality being accused of something just because you are, you know, a minority, drugs being planted on you by police officers, things like there's so much corruption that's happening in the justice system.
02:06:46.079 --> 02:07:01.600
My brother was arrested, he did four and a half years for robbery, and later on was arrested for home invasion that he was not involved in, but he just so happened to be in the area when it happened.
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And because he was already a convicted felon, and he told me, yo, I can do, they gave me a deal for doing four and a half years.
02:07:10.720 --> 02:07:14.159
I don't have enough money for a lawyer, but I can fight this.
02:07:14.399 --> 02:07:17.760
The only thing is if I lose, it's an automatic 10 to 20.
02:07:18.239 --> 02:07:28.399
And obviously in that situation, you're just like, well, you have to take the four to you know, the four and a half years, versus like, if you fuck this up, it's 10 to 20 years gone.
02:07:28.560 --> 02:07:31.199
And, you know, so there's those situations.
02:07:31.279 --> 02:07:35.119
So I got a friend, uh, I got a little homie, he's like a little brother to me named Kether.
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Kether is a good kid, never did anything.
02:07:38.960 --> 02:07:42.560
Like he grew up in the
suburbs, you know, full family and everything.
02:07:42.640 --> 02:07:43.600
I knew his sisters.
02:07:43.760 --> 02:07:46.800
Uh, and Kether played basketball in high school and all that.
02:07:46.880 --> 02:07:50.800
He um started working, I don't know, whatever, like one of them little plant jobs and shit.
02:07:50.880 --> 02:07:58.800
And one of the guys that he was working with was um weed, like he was like a little street nigga, like little street kid, whatever.
02:07:59.039 --> 02:08:04.560
Um, he tried to rob Kether, tried to set Kether up one day.
02:08:04.640 --> 02:08:07.760
He was like, Kether let him hold some money, and he was going to go get the money from him.
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He's like, Yeah, bro, just come in the house real quick, I'ma just get it for you.
02:08:10.720 --> 02:08:14.079
So Kether's walking up to the house, and from behind him, he tried to shoot him.
02:08:14.239 --> 02:08:16.960
He tried to he tried to take his life, and it's gun jammed.
02:08:17.119 --> 02:08:27.760
It's gun jammed, but when it happened, they get to scuffling, he's running, Kether's running, and Kether pulled his gun out, licensed to him, but he pulled his gun out and he just started shooting behind him and he ran off.
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He ran off through the back of the house, made it around the corner, came back around, he's bleeding out and all that.
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And he gets to his car, he drives to the nearest gas station, and he's like, yo, can somebody please call the cops that got shot?
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The cops come, everybody comes, and woo-woo-woo.
02:08:42.479 --> 02:08:49.520
But as the cops get there, they then get report that there was sh a shooting somewhere close by, and there's a man dead.
02:08:50.800 --> 02:08:52.479
Keller didn't know he killed anybody.
02:08:52.640 --> 02:08:56.399
He was just, he was, you know, he was fighting, like fighting for his life in that moment.
02:08:56.640 --> 02:09:04.479
Keller now is in his last year of an eight-year third-degree murder sentence.
02:09:04.720 --> 02:09:12.159
Only because he didn't have representation, he didn't have a lawyer at the time, he didn't have, you know, he didn't have anything to actually stand up and defend his.
02:09:12.399 --> 02:09:18.960
He got a public defender, or no, they had a, they had one lawyer, the lawyer ended up actually working for the other guy, and then it was a public defender situation.
02:09:19.119 --> 02:09:22.880
All this shit fell apart, and it just became, yo, take this third degree and move on it.
02:09:22.960 --> 02:09:26.720
Because you didn't tell the cops what happened in that moment, but because you were scared at the moment.
02:09:26.800 --> 02:09:29.760
At that time, George Floyd was happening, and the cops was killing black people.
02:09:29.840 --> 02:09:31.600
So he's like, I don't know what to say to y'all.
02:09:31.680 --> 02:09:32.640
I I just can't speak.
02:09:32.720 --> 02:09:34.000
I'm scared, you know what I mean?
02:09:34.079 --> 02:09:44.479
But that was why I supported Bell Project, is because like I was seeing these things in real time where I'm like, there's people who aren't in my scenario who don't have, you know, the means to even just get out.
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Or like when I was in, when I was in there, they they gave me a sign-out bell.
02:09:48.560 --> 02:09:51.600
And all they really wanted was the story to say that they they arrested me.
02:09:51.680 --> 02:09:52.079
You know what I mean?
02:09:52.159 --> 02:09:54.960
They gave me a sign out, but I didn't have to pay any money to get out of the jail.
02:09:55.119 --> 02:09:57.199
Um, I just had to pay$50 afterwards.
02:09:57.279 --> 02:09:59.439
They was just like, yo, we'll keep this shit on quiet.
02:09:59.680 --> 02:10:05.920
Um, and I did all of that though, and was able to, you know, maneuver.
02:10:06.000 --> 02:10:08.640
There's not that many people that are in the same situation as me.
02:10:08.800 --> 02:10:10.399
So I did that to support that.
02:10:10.720 --> 02:10:18.560
My last question for you is based on everything that you've been through, who would you say that you are now?
02:10:19.199 --> 02:10:20.720
What's next for you?
02:10:21.439 --> 02:10:24.079
And how would you like to be remembered?
02:10:26.000 --> 02:10:33.920
What I experienced as a kid changed my childhood, but it made me a child internally.
02:10:34.079 --> 02:10:38.319
And I think that's the bright side of it, that's the silver lining in it.
02:10:38.479 --> 02:10:51.920
Was for better or for worse, in that moment, I lost so much of my childhood that I've been spending the rest of my life chasing it and chasing that moment of child of blissfulness, of ignorance, of just freedom, of happiness.
02:10:52.079 --> 02:10:59.600
Like, and I have happiness, but there's a moment of happiness, there's a feeling of happiness that you'll never be able to get again after certain losses.
02:10:59.840 --> 02:11:05.359
Um, so it always makes me want to just keep keep prioritizing that feeling of happiness.
02:11:05.600 --> 02:11:15.600
Uh so I started writing this album called Kids Don't Die because that was the biggest change in my life was when I found out kids could die.
02:11:16.159 --> 02:11:32.880
And in that moment, everything afterwards was about keeping the kid inside of you alive because you don't, you know, that is the moment when you feel the most enriched, the most pure, the most yourself is like when you feel like the kid nature inside of you popping out.
02:11:33.039 --> 02:11:36.880
Um and I want that to be, I want that, that to be a signal.
02:11:37.039 --> 02:11:43.680
Because I I think the hardest thing we realize as we go through our adult life sometimes is that we forget that we are the cool kid.
02:11:43.760 --> 02:11:45.600
We're the cool adults to the kids now.
02:11:45.760 --> 02:11:57.840
We're the Kanye's, we're the, you know, whoever was cool to you, the MMs, the Andre 3000s, like we're that for a new group of kids that's growing up being like, man, I hate adults, except for these guys.
02:11:58.479 --> 02:12:11.920
And so um, it's just about being the coolest fucking adult now to this little Armani that didn't put bees in his hair yet, and he's still somewhere running around on Captain Street or Addison or something, and he don't even know who he is yet.
02:12:12.159 --> 02:12:17.359
Um, it's it's to, you know, just to inspire that and create and create the way for that.
02:12:17.520 --> 02:12:20.319
Um I'm trying to remember all the questions you asked.
02:12:21.279 --> 02:12:24.079
The last part of it will be how do you want to be remembered?
02:12:24.560 --> 02:12:25.600
A legend, bro.
02:12:25.680 --> 02:12:57.359
Like I think to change the, to change the tie of music, and I think we're in a really pure time to do that with with hip hop being so curious as to what the future looks like in it, but to change the t of music in a way that's like, oh shit, like when you remember when, like you said, when you was you was young and rapping, like you remember when Wayne burned the path this way, and Ye burned the path that way, and you know, and 50 burned the path, M burned the path, like they all burned these paths, and like that's what I think we haven't had it in so long.
02:12:57.439 --> 02:12:59.920
So it's like to burn the path for the next legacy.
02:13:00.079 --> 02:13:05.039
Uh, I mean, for my legacy and for the next generation to remember it is the goal.
02:13:05.439 --> 02:13:08.319
Well, uh I think you're well on your way to doing that already.
02:13:08.560 --> 02:13:09.039
Yes, sir.
02:13:09.279 --> 02:13:12.319
Um, thank you so much for being here.
02:13:12.479 --> 02:13:20.239
Thank you for being so vulnerable, being so open and so thorough uh with all of your answers and all of your stories.
02:13:20.640 --> 02:13:26.239
So we will definitely be reviewing your application and we will reach out to you soon.
02:13:26.479 --> 02:13:27.680
I appreciate that.