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Hello, ladies, it's Jax.
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Welcome back to the Midlife Glowgetter Podcast.
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I'm so glad you're here because today's episode is really close to my heart.
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We are talking about weight goals.
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Not the kind you pull out of thin air or copy from a chart, but the kind that actually matters with your health, your energy, and how you're living in your body every single day.
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Before we get into it though, let's start today with three affirmations just to glow up your day.
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Say them aloud with me if you can.
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Number one, my body is not a number.
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It's my home, and I get to take care of it with love.
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Number two, I measure my progress by how I feel, how I move, and how I show up for my life.
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And number three, every healthy choice I make today is a gift to the woman I'll be at 90.
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Say them one more time if you need to, let them land.
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Okay, let's talk.
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So I want to take you back when all this started for me.
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I was 45 years old, and that's about when I say my midlife awakening began.
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And at my highest, I weighed 431 pounds.
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I want to sit with that number for a second because I don't share it to shock you.
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I share it because I know some of you are listening right now, and you're carrying a number that feels heavy.
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Not just on your body, but on your heart and on your mind.
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I've been there, and I know exactly what that feels like.
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When I started, I picked a goal weight.
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And here's the honest truth.
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I didn't pick it for really any reason.
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I just made it up in my head, and it sounded right.
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It sounded like the number I was supposed to want.
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It sounded like what a healthy put-together woman would weigh.
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It wasn't based on how I felt, it wasn't based on how my life.
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I mean it, I had more energy than I had in years.
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I was moving more, I was sleeping better, I felt like myself again for the first time in a very, very long time.
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But I was also weighing myself every single day.
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And every single day, that number decided my mood.
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If it went down, I was happy.
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If it stayed the same, I was frustrated.
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If it went up even a little, it would ruin my whole morning.
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Think about that.
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I felt amazing in my body, and I lost a hundred pounds, and I was letting one number on one little machine tell me whether or how I was supposed to feel that wasn't healthy.
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Not for my mind, and honestly, not for my journey either.
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So I asked myself a different question.
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Instead of what number should I weigh?
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I asked, When in my fast past did I feel my best?
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When did I have the most energy?
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When did I have the most glow?
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When did I feel the most feminine?
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The most like myself?
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And the answer was a time in my life when I felt light, strong, and full of energy.
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I remember exactly how that felt, how I moved, how I got dressed in the morning, how I walked into a room and owned it.
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That feeling became my real North Star.
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So here's where I am today.
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I am down about 200 pounds give and take.
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I weigh about 230-ish right now, and I am on a significant long plateau.
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And if I'm being honest with you, I am still pushing forward toward my wellness goals, and I do realize plateaus are part of this.
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They don't mean I failed, they mean I'm still in it.
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On paper, my goal weight is 145.
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That's about 85 more pounds for me to go.
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And I'm working toward it every day.
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But here's what's different now.
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That number isn't really the finish line.
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The feeling is when I wake up with energy, feel strong in my body, feel feminine and glowy and like myself, the way I remember feeling at my best.
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That's when I know I'll reach my goal.
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If I get there at 145, wonderful.
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If I feel, you know, that way before 145, then I've arrived.
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And I'm not going to beat myself up chasing a number just because I once wrote it down.
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How I feel, how I see myself, my energy levels, that's how I'll know.
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The sale gets a vote, but it doesn't get the final word.
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I want to share two kinds of moments with you because I think they'll help you see what really matters so much.
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The first kind, there have been so many times the scale didn't move, weeks where it
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just sat there, but I felt more alive.
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I had more energy, more gusto, my pants were a little looser.
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I was walking farther without getting tired.
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If I had to listen to the scale, I would have thought nothing was happening, but my body was telling me a completely different story.
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I was winning, even if the number said I wasn't.
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The second kind is the opposite, and it taught me so much.
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There were times I tried fasting for a full 24 hours, basically starving myself to get the number to drop.
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And yes, the scale went down a couple of pounds, but I felt terrible.
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I was tired, lethargic, foggy.
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I had nothing left to give anyone, including myself.
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So the number went right way in the right direction, but I felt worse.
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That's when it really clicked.
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If chasing a number makes me feel worse, then the number was never the real goal.
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Feeling good was the goal all along.
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I'm sharing this as my experience, not as advice for you.
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Everybody is different, and what works for one woman doesn't work for another.
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Please work with your doctor on anything that affects your health.
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But I'm telling you what I learned for myself.
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A lower number that comes from making myself miserable is not a win.
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So I'm not just watching the scale.
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What I'm watching, let me tell you what my real progress looks like.
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When I sleep better, when I wake up full of energy, with a clear, strong mind, when I have enough fuel in the tank to carry me through the whole day, enough to show up here for you online, to show up at work, for my dad, for my son, for my family and friends, and for myself.
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That's how I know I'm going in the right direction.
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And then there are things my body can do now that couldn't before.
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Let me list them for you because every single one of these is a victory that no scale will ever show you.
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I can climb stairs without struggling.
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I can walk long distances without getting winded.
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I can stretch, touch my toes, and bend in all different ways.
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I can wear cute, in-style clothes and feel feminine in every one of them.
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My hair is thicker, shinier, and healthier.
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My skin is clearer or more radiant,
and it actually glows.
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I sleep through the night soundly and comfortably.
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I can travel long distance again and walk whole cities on vacation.
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If you heard my Charleston episodes, you know how much I love walking tours, and I couldn't have done that the way I was like I can do now.
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I can sit in regular chairs without worrying.
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I can tie my shoes easier and get dressed faster.
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Those are not small wins.
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If you've ever worried about whether a chair would hold you, a dreaded flight of stairs, or a skip trip because you knew you couldn't keep up, you know exactly how big those things are.
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Those are my real wins.
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Those are things I'm most proudest of.
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I want to be real with you about something.
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Gaining a lot of weight and then working to lose a lot of weight is really an emotional roller coaster.
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There are highs and there are lows, and some days you don't even know which one you're on.
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But here's what it's given me.
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It's made me appreciate everything I have and everyone around me.
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It showed me who really loves me and you stuck around through every size and every season.
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It showed me how strong I am, how much I am capable of changing, and how much I can better myself when I decide.
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That part is worth more than a number on a scale.
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Let's talk about the big picture because this is really what my goal is about.
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I want to live a long, full, strong, capable life.
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I am talking 90 plus.
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I want to be the kind of woman who can still travel, still walk the city, still get up the floor, still play with my grandkids, still carry my own groceries.
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And I'll be honest with you about a big part of my why.
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I do not want to be a burden to my son.
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I am caring for my dad now and I love him very much.
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And it's also shown me up close how much our health is important in our later years and how much it shapes everything.
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I want to be self-reliant.
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I want to be proud of myself.
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I want to take care of me for as long as I possibly can.
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That's what a health goal really is.
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It's not about fitting a number.
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It's about building a body that can carry you through the life you want to live for as long as you get to live it.
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Okay, now I'm talking to you.
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Now it's your turn.
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I want you to ask yourself something honestly.
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Are you on a wellness journey right now?
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A weight loss journey?
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Maybe you're just thinking about starting one.
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If the answer is yes, or even a maybe, I want you to do something for me this week.
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Grab a notebook, a piece of paper, or open your notes app on your phone, and write down all of your health and wellness goals.
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Every single one, except the number on the scale.
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Here are some questions to get you started.
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How do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning?
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How much energy do you want at three in the afternoon?
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What do you want your body to be able to do?
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Climb stairs, walk a whole city on vacation, get down on the floor with your grandkids and get back up?
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How do you want to sleep?
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How do you want to feel when you get dressed?
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What do you want your life to look like at 70, at 80, at 90?
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Is there a time in your past when you felt your best?
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What did that feel like?
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What were you able to do?
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Write it all down.
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Then I want you to use that list as your guide, not the scale, that list.
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The scale can be one piece of information still.
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It's okay to check it.
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It's okay to have a goal number too.
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I do.
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But it's only one data point, not the whole story.
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Your list is the whole story.
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Your list is what tells you if you're winning.
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And here's my promise to you.
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When you start measuring your progress by how you feel and what you can do, you'll start noticing wins you were walking right past.
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Wins that were there the whole time.
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So here's your one takeaway today.
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Your goal isn't just a number, it's a feeling, it's a life you get to live fully.
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Define success by your energy, your strength, how you sleep, how you move, and how you show up for the people you love, including yourself.
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Let the scale be one voice in the room, not the boss of it.
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If you write your list, I love to see it.
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Send me a message and tell me one goal on your list that has nothing to do with the scale.
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And if this episode helped you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it.
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Follow the show and leave a five star review.
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It helps other women like you, like me, find us.
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I'm right here with you.
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Plateau and all.
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Still pushing forward.
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We're doing this together.
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Keep glowing, keep growing.
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You have got this.
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Love the jacks.