Trascrizione completa di Managing Screen Time

know. 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:21.120 I'm paying a price right now. 00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:22.159 And the whinging. 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:22.879 Oh, the winging. 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:24.080 The winging move. 00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:27.759 I that's no, no, that's not even like that. 00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:31.039 I I I'm making groans where I move. 00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:32.800 Like I could barely get out of the couch. 00:02:32.879 --> 00:02:35.120 To be fair, I can barely even wipe my own ass right now. 00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:35.759 That's normal. 00:02:35.919 --> 00:02:37.439 Like I can just can't reach around, right? 00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:39.680 Like it's a struggle town, but uh reach around. 00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:40.400 Fucking hell. 00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:43.599 Yeah, definitely struggled hard uh this week. 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:50.240 Um filled in and uh yeah, a bit sore, but that's the joys of playing baseball, right? 00:02:50.400 --> 00:02:51.599 Yeah, you know, 44. 00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:56.800 We go out to baseball each week to watch our kid play. 00:02:57.039 --> 00:03:00.479 And I didn't watch him play at all. 00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:03.919 I missed everything he did, but I saw everything that you did. 00:03:04.080 --> 00:03:08.560 I saw every at bat you had, every error you made, but I saw nothing of it. 00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:09.680 But you make no error. 00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:12.080 Oh come on, you fuck the ground ball, should have been a double. 00:03:12.159 --> 00:03:12.800 You get one. 00:03:12.960 --> 00:03:13.759 Turn two, man. 00:03:13.919 --> 00:03:15.120 It's not an error, I got an out. 00:03:15.599 --> 00:03:17.919 I know I didn't mess it up, I just bobbled it a little. 00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:18.400 Yeah. 00:03:18.639 --> 00:03:20.159 But uh no, come on, mate. 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:20.960 Yeah, keep it real. 00:03:21.199 --> 00:03:25.840 If you don't introduce another colour for dumb fucks, come on, mate. 00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:26.319 Shit. 00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:32.800 Seriously, hey, if uh anybody who's listening uh knows a good marriage counselor, we might need one. 00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:35.520 Um anyone knows a good baseball player, let me know. 00:03:35.759 --> 00:03:37.360 Yeah, cool, cool. 00:03:37.439 --> 00:03:38.000 I'm good with that. 00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:39.520 Now, how was your week? 00:03:39.840 --> 00:03:44.639 Yeah, um, how was my week? 00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:47.599 Uh it was all over the place. 00:03:48.080 --> 00:03:49.360 But that's me, because I got no idea. 00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:50.879 No, it was all over the place. 00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:57.680 Um, yeah, I know that I did I did a lot of um stuff and things. 00:03:57.840 --> 00:04:08.159 Yeah, did some stuff and things, but uh I also um uh finished up on a part of a course that was on uh brain function stuff, um, which was pretty cool. 00:04:08.319 --> 00:04:12.400 Uh but uh yeah that that was that was really good. 00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:21.519 But the rest of the week is a bit of a blur, it was kind of feel like um you know you know while there's a lot happening at the moment for us, and we say that every week though. 00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:25.519 Yeah, there is, uh, and a lot of it is outside of us. 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:30.480 Uh so literally the phone did not stop last week. 00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:32.560 But that's just me having a winch. 00:04:32.639 --> 00:04:34.959 Anyway, um thank you. 00:04:35.839 --> 00:04:39.680 So, Joanne, what unpack that have you got for us? 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:41.120 Yeah, let's get into that. 00:04:41.839 --> 00:04:45.360 So um obviously I speak to a few parents. 00:04:45.519 --> 00:04:56.079 Most of these parents are baseball parents, and we talk about our kids and work and you know the shifts they get or the shifts that they don't get, and then trying to fit everything in around that. 00:04:56.240 --> 00:04:58.399 Um some of our kids train multiple times a week. 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:02.959 Some of our kids are um in different programs and have to train as part of those programs. 00:05:03.120 --> 00:05:08.399 So it's fitting in, you know, obviously commitments to your sport that you love, and where you want to go with that. 00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:14.319 Um, fitting in school and making sure, you know, a lot of these kids are starting VCA or year 10, 11, 12. 00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:17.920 Um, so you've got schooling requirements and then work. 00:05:18.399 --> 00:05:20.560 And it's fitting it, fitting it all in. 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:20.959 Yeah. 00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:23.120 Um, and there's a balance to it. 00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:27.839 So, you know, we'll we're tossing it around going, you know, when is it is a good time for kids? 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:29.279 When should they start working? 00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:31.040 Well, yeah, well, when should they? 00:05:31.199 --> 00:05:32.639 I guess it's individualized. 00:05:33.519 --> 00:05:36.639 Each each child's at a different point. 00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:39.040 I I don't know if there is a right time. 00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:45.120 Uh, I know you kind of I don't even know how it happened that Patrick started working. 00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:50.720 He's working at Maccas, and uh, I don't even know how you guys come up with that, but you come up with it. 00:05:50.879 --> 00:05:57.439 And if you look at the time frames, like it's the um, it's I think it's a really good thing that kids, you know, do part-time jobs. 00:05:58.160 --> 00:06:02.800 The the difficult part for us is like they keep giving him shifts that don't finish till 11 o'clock. 00:06:02.959 --> 00:06:05.600 Yeah, basically it's a killer. 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:17.680 But um, and then trying to fit that in with all the other stuff that we do as a family, what we do is uh for him in terms of sport, uh, I think that that everything's gotta be factored into that. 00:06:17.839 --> 00:06:26.959 So if you're gonna put your kid into work,

understand you're gonna have to do a lot of the legwork driving around and definitely picking up and dropping off and all that sort of stuff. 00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:31.519 So uh that that's gotta uh be a factor that you think about. 00:06:31.759 --> 00:06:36.480 But the benefits really outweigh the the uh the negatives, I think. 00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:37.120 I think so. 00:06:37.199 --> 00:06:39.920 And I don't even think the benefits is they're making their own money. 00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:44.319 Um, I think it's good for them to make their own money so they can actually value money. 00:06:44.639 --> 00:06:45.839 That's the way most people see it, right? 00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:46.639 Money, money, money. 00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:47.600 That's the way they see it. 00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:51.920 But I actually think it actually teaches him more about responsibility, how to interact with others. 00:06:52.079 --> 00:06:54.720 You know, when you go into a workforce, there is a pecking order. 00:06:54.800 --> 00:07:01.199 There are people that you need to learn from and listen to, and you can't just push back and I know everything, because you know what, you don't. 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:04.800 Um, so I think it's been really good for him, and it's really good for others. 00:07:04.959 --> 00:07:11.120 I mean, you I I see, you know, the kids coming into work with work experience and how he was with work experience as well. 00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:13.920 Um, you know, it teaches him so much. 00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:14.800 It does. 00:07:14.959 --> 00:07:15.519 It does. 00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:20.000 Uh and you're really you're you're setting them up for the future, you're not setting up for now. 00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:20.639 That's right. 00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:29.759 Uh and I know that there are families out there that uh push their kids into doing part-time jobs because they kind of need to uh to to help the family out. 00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:34.480 Uh, and if they're not, if that's one child that they don't have to pay for, then great. 00:07:34.879 --> 00:07:42.720 Um I I just I I think it's a it's a good good idea to put kids into into work. 00:07:42.879 --> 00:07:52.399 I I think um it's got to be manageable, but I think you know, once they get to an age, 15, 16, I think we should be looking at part-time roles. 00:07:53.120 --> 00:07:54.879 I like the idea of Maccas. 00:07:55.439 --> 00:08:09.279 I don't know how well it'll go, but the idea of Maccas where there is uh a progression where they're constantly teaching you different stuff, um management experience, all that sort of stuff. 00:08:09.759 --> 00:08:21.279 I I remember I was working at a school once where most of the the teaching staff, uh apart from a very small minority, were all almost fresh out of uni. 00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:22.240 Yeah. 00:08:22.480 --> 00:08:27.920 And uh there was the impact that that was having on the kids, I think, was significant. 00:08:28.160 --> 00:08:40.159 But then

if we look at it from a workforce perspective, those young teachers were getting put into uh leading teaching roles at a much quicker rate than they would anywhere else. 00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:42.240 Yeah, because the workforce is shrinking. 00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:47.519 Yeah, but but on top of that, they couldn't attract any older heads in that school. 00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:52.480 So then the um, but then what was happening was it was just a cycle. 00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:58.080 So then they these teachers would go into LT roles and then all of a sudden they're they're out of the school. 00:08:58.240 --> 00:08:58.399 Yeah. 00:08:58.639 --> 00:09:03.679 It set them up to go to a different role, um, which is a a difficult thing. 00:09:03.840 --> 00:09:07.200 But I so from that perspective, it works for the individual. 00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:17.039 If we look at Maccas for a a young person, the the learning experience is so big because they've got lots of online learning platform stuff that they can access. 00:09:17.279 --> 00:09:21.200 Uh, but I remember when you you were younger, you worked at a fish and chip show, didn't you? 00:09:21.360 --> 00:09:21.679 I did. 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:22.000 I did. 00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:23.360 How old were you when you started that? 00:09:23.759 --> 00:09:28.000 Oh 14, 15, something like that. 00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:28.399 Yeah. 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:29.759 The rules are very different, yeah. 00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:32.159 Plus you've got cash, in the rules are different, cash in hand. 00:09:32.240 --> 00:09:40.399 And that's the thing, like that, you know, you've got obviously got bigger businesses where you have to go through payroll that you have to be a certain age to obviously do that because there are rule requirements around age. 00:09:40.480 --> 00:09:42.159 Oh, you know you're allowed to breathe when you talk, yeah. 00:09:42.320 --> 00:09:43.200 Shut up, you correct. 00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:45.200 Um, but then there's you know, cash in hand jobs. 00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:48.559 So there are kids working out there, they're the younger getting cashies, and good for them. 00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:51.759 I think it's great because it works work and it teaches you regardless. 00:09:52.080 --> 00:10:02.080 What I would say is let's say let's just say I have a um educationally astute um child, right? 00:10:02.480 --> 00:10:06.240 Very um academic focused, kicking goals. 00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:15.039 Uh, I would say you have to be mindful of those kids because a lot of those kids have really high expectations of themselves. 00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:24.000 Uh, and a lot of them end up in rooms like my office because they can't meet reach them and they're constantly chasing perfectionism and all that sort of stuff. 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:29.200 Now, if you add in that to that a uh a part-time job, you're gonna cook them. 00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:31.120 Yes, yes. 00:10:31.759 --> 00:10:36.960 But at the same time, that part-time job will give them social skills they probably ain't gonna get out of a book. 00:10:37.200 --> 00:10:39.039 Yes, but are they going to accept it? 00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:50.559 And I could tell you now you won't, because they'll be heads will be stuck in the books, and so that that that has to be uh a factor that you have to understand your child, I guess, is what I'm saying. 00:10:52.080 --> 00:10:53.600 And then how do you balance that? 00:10:53.840 --> 00:11:01.600 Because obviously, coming into the VCE perspective, there are kids out there that actually care about their schools because they want to go into uni and they have to get scores. 00:11:01.919 --> 00:11:03.279 Other kids don't really care. 00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:10.320 Um, but how do you balance that education study factor and school requirements with working? 00:11:10.480 --> 00:11:14.080 Because that just adds another layer into stress for a child. 00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:15.279 It does. 00:11:16.240 --> 00:11:17.679 I don't know if you can. 00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:19.679 I don't know if there is a balance for that. 00:11:19.840 --> 00:11:24.320 I guess that really depends on the relationship you have with the your child's employer. 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:27.840 Because I don't know if you can, to be fair. 00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:33.120 Let's just say uh an organization like a Maccas, is they're a good example, right? 00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:36.879 An organization like Maccas, they're going to roster you on. 00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:41.919 If you can't meet that roster, at some point, they'll stop giving you shifts. 00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:44.559 So that that that's that's a difficult space. 00:11:44.639 --> 00:11:53.440 I think if you're working for a smaller company, um, like like what you did with a fish and chip shop, where you I don't think you worked during a weekday, did you? 00:11:53.600 --> 00:11:54.159 Oh, no, I did. 00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:54.639 Did you? 00:11:54.879 --> 00:11:55.120 I did. 00:11:55.440 --> 00:12:01.679 I think I was um a regular Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday routine. 00:12:01.840 --> 00:12:02.000 Okay. 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:08.000 And then every now and again, the early in the week might change, but definitely Thursday, Friday, Saturday, because that's their peak, peak days. 00:12:08.159 --> 00:12:08.639 Yeah, yeah. 00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:09.039 Yeah. 00:12:09.120 --> 00:12:10.799 I I don't know if you can. 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:11.759 I really don't. 00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:19.440 That's why I'm saying to you that the higher achieving academic kids do be really mindful about the impact on them. 00:12:19.679 --> 00:12:27.759 I suppose that's where it comes down to having that that relationship or that discussion with your kid and and recognizing that, you know, school uh work is great. 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:34.399 However, at this period of time, academics is more important and you need to speak up if you're not managing. 00:12:34.720 -->

00:12:36.480 I guess it depends on why they're working. 00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:37.279 Well, yeah. 00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:56.720 You know, like if you've got a uh um a lower achieving, I don't really like to say this shit, but let's just say I have a lower achieving uh academic child, then learning um skills in the workforce would be a good idea. 00:12:57.120 --> 00:12:57.279 I think. 00:12:57.519 --> 00:13:01.840 Like if you've got a child that wants to go into um being a tradie, yeah. 00:13:02.159 --> 00:13:04.799 Take on the VCE and the scores don't actually matter. 00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:13.360 Yeah, VMware's got for, but uh, I think um uh in that case there, that's a bit different because they want to be more hands-on. 00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:15.039 Yeah, they like tactile stuff. 00:13:15.120 --> 00:13:16.639 So uh that's good. 00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:25.279 I think if they can pick up you know a a few days, oh even that that impacts the day, the the week as a school. 00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:29.200 So I I don't know if you can really find a balance between school and work. 00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:30.720 I really I don't think you can. 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:38.799 Like you look at um was it Patrick the last week or two, he had a shift start at four, finished at eleven. 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:41.919 Yeah, they asked him, they asked him to to work a double essentially. 00:13:42.159 --> 00:13:49.039 Yeah, but by the time he gets home, it's get home, shove some food down his gob, get in the car, and we're gone. 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:53.919 Um, and and then you know, it's although I'm pretty sure that was like a Monday or Tuesday. 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:54.159 Yeah. 00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:56.159 And then he gets home at 11. 00:13:56.320 --> 00:14:01.600 By the time we get home, it's probably a quarter past, has a shower because he stinks like you know, an oil. 00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:02.720 That's all he smells like. 00:14:02.799 --> 00:14:04.000 He's dark bed. 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:06.080 I don't know how anybody works in that space. 00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:11.519 But anyway, stinks it up, goes straight, has a shower, gets into bed straight away. 00:14:11.679 --> 00:14:17.120 And then he's up again at you know, quarter seven or whatever it is to get ready for school the next day. 00:14:17.360 --> 00:14:20.960 Um, you know, what's the expectation academically now? 00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:22.320 Well, yeah, and that's the thing. 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:33.200 You know, if if you've got a child and you know what their academic scores are like and you start seeing it slip, you know, that's a that's a period of where the parent will then have a talk going, is this the best thing for you right now? 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:34.399 Maybe we have to cut back. 00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:36.960 And that's what I'm saying about you've got to know your child. 00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:45.759 Uh even now you you look at our child here working at Maccas, there are Aussie uh Softball Australia stuff that he's got to be a part of. 00:14:47.919 --> 00:14:48.960 But that's gonna conflict. 00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:58.080 So there's a couple of um uh online meetings and stuff like that that he won't be able to attend uh because because of that. 00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:21.039 Now we have to make sure we have that conversation with the coaches, which we have, and that's it's all good, and they're happy for him to work, but it it really, really is gonna come down to uh how well you know your child, what's the impact that they're going to uh that's gonna happen if they do go into a part-time job, and then uh why are they going there? 00:15:21.279 --> 00:15:21.519 Yeah. 00:15:21.679 --> 00:15:24.159 And I guess that's that's what it comes down to is the why. 00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:28.480 You know, some parents are happy for their kids not to work because money is the money factor's not there. 00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:30.559 They'll flip whatever they need to for the kid. 00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:34.399 And, you know, it's not about them earning money because money's always available. 00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:36.000 Um, but that's where it comes down. 00:15:36.159 --> 00:15:37.759 What do you actually want them to get out of it? 00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:46.240 And sometimes it is that social factor, learning what it's like to be in a workplace, learning like you'll need all different kinds of people when you start working, all different kinds of behaviors. 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:48.480 Um, it's not like high school at all. 00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:50.320 So, what is the aim? 00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:52.399 What is the point of them actually working? 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:53.679 Yeah, that's right. 00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:56.960 And if you don't know that, don't send them in. 00:15:57.440 --> 00:15:58.960 Don't get to understand it. 00:15:59.039 --> 00:16:01.440 Why do they want to work part-time? 00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:03.759 You know, what is it that they want out of that? 00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:06.080 They're gonna say money, right? 00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:08.960 But then I would ask them, you know, what's what else? 00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:12.399 What is there and is there another reason why you want to work? 00:16:12.639 --> 00:16:17.200 Or why that you want to do a part-time job outside of school hours, all that sort of stuff. 00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:20.480 Get them understand it, get to understand the motivator behind it. 00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:24.159 Why they, you know, what's what's driving them to go and do that? 00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:32.159 Um, and there's probably there's probably a thousand reasons, but um if you don't know that, don't enter into it. 00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:33.039 Yeah. 00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:38.000 Um early good, but there's there's a balance in it. 00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:46.399 What and and like I said, there's no actual balance to academics and work, but there is a balance to my approach to doing it as a parent.

00:16:46.639 --> 00:16:46.879 That's right. 00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:48.080 And sometimes we've got to step in. 00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:50.240 But anyway, that's my two bobs. 00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:51.679 Great, perfect. 00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:55.039 So our topic today, what have we got, Joe? 00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:56.000 It's screen time. 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:57.200 Screen time. 00:16:57.679 --> 00:17:00.000 Screen time, what a killer. 00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:02.399 Can you believe we actually talk about shit? 00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:09.279 Um Joe, why don't you we start with your screen time? 00:17:09.440 --> 00:17:10.799 Oh, my screen time is shocking. 00:17:11.039 --> 00:17:12.640 My screen time is shocking. 00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:14.559 I've got a bit of a phone addiction. 00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:18.559 Um, and if I'm in my phone, I read books on my phone as well. 00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:23.519 Um, but if I excuse us here, no, no, I know you do just keep talking. 00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:29.920 Um but if I'm into if I'm into something on my phone, I don't hear anything that's going on around me. 00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:32.240 Anything until Luke really barks. 00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:34.319 No, no, or the kids do. 00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:41.200 Um because you know, I've you know, it's there's all there's lots of different things that you can be consumed by. 00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:46.000 Like if even if I was reading a book, not on my phone, but a real book, the same thing would happen. 00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:47.200 I'd zone everything out. 00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:47.599 Yeah. 00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:51.839 Um, so but there's there's lots of different things. 00:17:52.000 --> 00:18:02.799 I mean, it's not just me, you know, you see, like if you sat there and watched people, like if I used to catch public transport and you you look at everyone, everyone has their phone out. 00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:10.400 Yeah, and sometimes it's just a past time because you know you're sitting on a train with, you know, hundreds of other people and you're passing time. 00:18:10.720 --> 00:18:17.519 Um, but I think it's becoming an addiction for a lot of people, and you look at the kids now. 00:18:17.759 --> 00:18:21.200 Like I look at Amelia, even Amelia with her iPad. 00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:25.359 She navigates her way around the iPad, she knows how to set my phone up better than I do. 00:18:25.519 --> 00:18:27.200 She's six, it's ridiculous. 00:18:27.359 --> 00:18:31.039 She changed my phone screen and put it on a revolving wallpaper. 00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:32.720 I don't even know how she did that. 00:18:32.960 --> 00:18:38.000 Um for someone who spends so much time on their phone, you don't know anything about its features. 00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:38.640 No, I don't. 00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:39.279 I have no idea. 00:18:39.359 --> 00:18:41.359 Because I use it for specific things. 00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:45.519 Um, but you know, I mean, that's the generation that these kids

are growing up with. 00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:48.079 They're growing up with technology. 00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:53.119 But if I asked her to get off her iPad, oh my god, it's like a monster. 00:18:53.519 --> 00:18:55.279 She just flips it. 00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:58.480 Um, but she's on an iPad all different things, like for school. 00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:00.240 She doesn't get reading books for school. 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:01.200 They've got a QR code. 00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:01.920 She does. 00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:03.200 No, not anymore. 00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:06.480 They because they've only got a certain amount of books and she's read them all. 00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:12.640 So now she gets a QR code to go to a library on her app on on the iPad, and she reads books on there. 00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:13.279 Oh, really? 00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:15.599 So everything is on the goddamn iPad. 00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:17.200 I thought she gets a book once a week. 00:19:17.359 --> 00:19:18.559 Oh, it's that's a library book. 00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:23.119 So she has reading books every day that she needs to read, and then she gets a library book once a week. 00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:25.440 Gee, so how connected are you to your daughter? 00:19:25.839 --> 00:19:26.240 What do you mean? 00:19:26.559 --> 00:19:26.960 No schooling. 00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:28.160 You've got an idea. 00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:29.519 I'll make sure there are books in her bag. 00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:29.920 What do you mean? 00:19:30.319 --> 00:19:30.880 Anyway. 00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:34.400 Um, but you know, it's it's the way it's everything's being set up. 00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:36.960 Learning is on the iPad or a laptop. 00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:39.440 Everything is on technology. 00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:42.160 So how do we get them to switch off? 00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:48.559 We don't How do we get them to go outside and play or play by themselves or you know, not just kids, adults, Joe. 00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:49.200 Yeah. 00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:50.400 Adults are shit. 00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:54.400 Like you look at you, you won't leave the couch if you had your phone in your pocket. 00:19:54.559 --> 00:19:57.119 Yeah, because I go one from one thing to the next thing to the next thing. 00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:59.039 And I don't actually spend a lot of time on social media. 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:00.640 I don't have a social media position. 00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:03.200 I play games, I read books, I do all different stuff. 00:20:03.279 --> 00:20:05.359 But Harley on so other people have social media. 00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:10.799 They go from TikTok to Insta to, you know, it's it's the addiction is real. 00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:12.160 Yeah. 00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:14.720 But what are you actually addicted to? 00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:15.839 I like this one. 00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:17.200 What are you actually addicted to? 00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:19.119 Getting away from you. 00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:19.839 Yeah. 00:20:20.640 --> 00:20:21.519 Whatever. 00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:26.319 Oh, girl. 00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:28.400 No, what are you actually addicted to? 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:29.680 Oh no, you tell me. 00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:31.759 No, I want to guru, tell me. 00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:34.799 I know what, but I want you to have a crack at it. 00:20:35.440 --> 00:20:37.279 What are you actually addicted to? 00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:40.160 The isolation. 00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:42.240 Yeah, what else? 00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:46.720 Oh, we can sit here and silence for ages, Luke. 00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:49.519 We could, yeah, it'd be a really boring episode. 00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:51.759 But you're shit. 00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:53.599 We're not in a counseling session, mate. 00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:59.039 Yeah, but the idea here is to teach other people how to access that information. 00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:01.759 And if you don't know how to do it, how are you helping them? 00:21:02.079 --> 00:21:03.680 Well, because you've got to tell them. 00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:05.920 Yeah, but I don't like telling people shit. 00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:07.599 So like are we on the podcast? 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:17.759 The idea here is that if you were to reach in, you would probably find that you're addicted to what's going on in your head. 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:20.880 Usually I'm addicted to switching off. 00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:24.319 I don't want to deal with anything on my phone. 00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:25.279 That's incorrect. 00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:25.839 Is it? 00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:31.200 Yes, because if you were addicted to switching off, you wouldn't be reading a book. 00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:36.319 But I'm switching off everything around me, bang. 00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:37.519 Bang. 00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:38.640 You got nothing. 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:39.680 It's true. 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:44.000 What you're doing is you're you're addicted because I know this would happen. 00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:45.759 This happens for a lot of people. 00:21:46.400 --> 00:21:54.240 Uh when I was in the city, uh, I was there for uh for eight days for a training, and I'm standing at the front. 00:21:54.319 --> 00:21:58.400 I oh I I if I'm not an hour early, I'm late, right? 00:21:58.559 --> 00:21:59.440 So I'm there so early. 00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:02.960 Hate the city, so I want to beat as much of the traffic as possible. 00:22:03.119 --> 00:22:04.880 Get their real LM standing at the front. 00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:05.920 And where were we? 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:11.039 We're on uh is it Elizabeth Street and um Blinders, yeah. 00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:18.240 And uh there's a whole bunch of people because Starbucks is not far from there and whatever, and they're all standing around and everyone's got their phones out, right? 00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:22.799 Now, what they what they what I I watch because I can't help myself. 00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:24.319 So I'll watch

what they're looking at, right? 00:22:24.559 --> 00:22:26.480 I'm not looking at my phone, I'm looking at their shit. 00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:28.079 So I'm looking at their phone, what are they looking at? 00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:29.119 What are they looking at? 00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:39.839 And they flick from app to app to app, and then they'll go to Google, and then they'll go to Safari or something like that, and I'll search something up, and then I'll look into it, right? 00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:43.680 And then I'll go to another app, then I'll come back and I'll go and search something else up. 00:22:43.839 --> 00:22:45.839 So they're addicted to what's going on in the head. 00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:49.200 That's the problem with the phone and the technology that we have right now. 00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:51.920 It's amazing what we've got access to. 00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:53.440 It's awesome stuff. 00:22:53.759 --> 00:23:01.680 However, I think what happens is if you're already in your head, your apps in your head are constantly open. 00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:07.039 And so then if you have a thought, there's no way of you going, I'll look that up later. 00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:12.640 It's just because it's sitting there in your hand or in your pocket already, you go bang and you look it up. 00:23:12.799 --> 00:23:15.759 So it's instant um information. 00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:16.640 Instant. 00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:18.400 Yeah, you don't have to wait for nothing. 00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:24.480 I remember when growing up, uh, I never could, our family could never afford this, but my cousins used to have them. 00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:25.359 The encyclopedia. 00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:26.960 The Encyclopedia Britannica. 00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:33.440 Yeah, and it will, what was there, like 25 books or something like that, 26 books, massive amount of books. 00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:36.000 And no one's gone to those books to look that shit up. 00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:38.079 I don't even think readers don't even have those books. 00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:40.799 I remember when uh people from away my parents, didn't we? 00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:42.480 Yeah, I remember the house. 00:23:42.640 --> 00:23:45.759 Yeah, but the pages were brand new, yeah, because no one used them. 00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:55.359 But so now we've got you know a thousand times that, more probably more, million times that amount of information in one little spot. 00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:58.480 So I think that that plays a role. 00:23:58.640 --> 00:24:05.440 Now I watch you, you're addicted to what's going on in your head because you flick from app to app too, right? 00:24:05.680 --> 00:24:12.559 You won't let the this whatever bloody game you play on your phone, you won't let that sit idle for an hour. 00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:22.000 You'll read for a bit, then you go to the game, read for a bit, then look something up, read for a bit, go back to the game, read for a bit, look something up. 00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:24.079 It's always happening, right? 00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:33.839 And uh I I I think personally, when you say things like I want to switch off, and this is what we've replaced switching off with, yeah. 00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:39.039 Otherwise, so it's it's to me, you're not actually switching off. 00:24:39.599 --> 00:24:43.920 We're we're not addicted to the phone, we're addicted to what the phone gives us. 00:24:44.079 --> 00:24:46.319 Yeah, so don't blame the phone. 00:24:46.559 --> 00:24:48.079 So, what do we do for our kids? 00:24:48.319 --> 00:24:49.759 What do we do for our kids? 00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:53.759 See, I I think um boundaries are important. 00:24:54.000 --> 00:25:01.440 So what I notice with Amelia is she'll get crabby with you, but she never gets crabby with me. 00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:03.119 Patrick was the same. 00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:07.279 He loses his nana about that iPad when he was a little boy. 00:25:08.559 --> 00:25:10.000 Never did with me. 00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:11.839 Why is that? 00:25:12.559 --> 00:25:14.079 You probably give him a warning. 00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:14.480 No. 00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:15.039 To get off. 00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:23.200 Oh, yeah, I was I'll say, you yeah, a lot of time people sometimes it couldn't, but it was like a lot of time we're like, hey, you you're off that in a minute. 00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:27.680 And then I walk off, do the thing I need to do, come back, need to get off now. 00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:28.880 And they're off. 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:30.480 Never argued. 00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:32.240 Always argue with you though. 00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:34.160 Everybody argues with me. 00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:35.599 No, you argue with them. 00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:35.839 Okay. 00:25:36.079 --> 00:25:41.759 So anyway, the so uh how do we set boundaries with that? 00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:46.240 I think it's about the relationship you have with the child rather than their iPad. 00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:54.160 Remember, they don't have a relationship with the iPad, they have a relationship with the stuff that the content that they can consume from the iPad. 00:25:54.559 --> 00:25:59.440 So are you going to beat that that um uh content? 00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:02.400 The answer is yes, you will. 00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:07.200 But if you've you have to understand why you've given it to them in the first place. 00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:10.799 Yeah, sometimes it's you know to keep yourself busy so you don't annoy me. 00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:11.759 Yep. 00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:24.160 And initially, I remember we gave we we we got the iPad for Amelia because well, for starters, she took Patrick's old one. 00:26:24.240 --> 00:26:25.119 She took Patrick's old one. 00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:26.720 Patrick got the iPad because he needed it for school. 00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:28.000 He was then he just got it. 00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:36.799 He did, and then poor kid, she gets dragged around the

ballpark every weekend, yeah, interstate, all of this stuff. 00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:40.640 And this poor kid is just like it was just like another ham peg. 00:26:41.119 --> 00:26:48.640 Yeah, and the iPad, it was essentially it was essentially for her to watch shows to keep her entertained while we're at sport majority of the time. 00:26:48.799 --> 00:26:49.519 And she was really good. 00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:50.720 She was really good, she still is. 00:26:50.799 --> 00:26:55.200 I mean, she'll run around and then come back to trolley and watch a show and run around, come back to the trolley and watch a show. 00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:55.599 Yeah. 00:26:55.759 --> 00:26:58.640 Um, but that she hardly ever watches shows anymore. 00:26:58.720 --> 00:27:00.000 It's all different stuff. 00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:01.039 Yeah, yeah. 00:27:01.359 --> 00:27:04.400 Um, so why did we give it to her in the first place? 00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:07.359 You know, we gave it to her because we needed to entertain her. 00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:07.759 Yeah. 00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:09.440 So we created that. 00:27:09.759 --> 00:27:10.400 Yes. 00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:13.680 And we're no different to most parents. 00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:27.279 Uh I would say that um if I don't have the relationship with my child where I can set boundaries that get followed, we're talking about a much bigger issue than an iPad or content on a phone. 00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:30.079 Uh, how do we limit screen time? 00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:34.640 Uh I know this family that are very strict on screen time. 00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:37.680 Actually, I know a few of them, so strict on screen time. 00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:46.160 It's like you get the kids will get maybe half an hour, and then they've got to go out and do something different for an hour or two hours, whatever. 00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:46.880 That's not a bad thing. 00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:48.880 They can do another half an hour, right? 00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:58.240 But it doesn't work because the kids don't go out and do anything different, they just linger around and watch TV and stuff. 00:27:58.400 --> 00:28:02.799 So the content that they were consuming on their device, they're now consuming on the TV. 00:28:02.960 --> 00:28:03.119 Okay. 00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:03.920 All right. 00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:05.039 It's not working. 00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:10.000 And so then the parents are like, well, no, no laptops, no TV. 00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:10.960 Right? 00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:16.480 So you can imagine how cold that joint would have been, because it would nobody's actually talking to each other. 00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:18.160 I think that was the intention. 00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:19.680 No one's talking to each other. 00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:25.839 And then it's met with uh where where the kids are going, you don't let me do what I want to do. 00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:27.200 Notice that a lot. 00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:30.240 And then all of a sudden you're in an argument with the child, right? 00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:38.400 Where I think if you have um, I think if you have a good relationship with your child, it wouldn't matter. 00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:42.079 And the relationship I'm talking about is where I'm the authority. 00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:52.880 The too many times you see in families, and I see them come in here, kids all the time, they'll come in here, and the parents will be like, they don't do what they're told, all this sort of stuff. 00:28:53.200 --> 00:29:00.799 And when you dig deeper, the parent has given the authority to the child, and now we're friends. 00:29:01.119 --> 00:29:02.640 You're not an authority anymore. 00:29:02.799 --> 00:29:03.680 I don't like that. 00:29:03.839 --> 00:29:12.160 And then then we're sitting there going, okay, well, how do we get better screen time and and and slow down the screen time, limit it all? 00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:13.680 You got no chance. 00:29:13.759 --> 00:29:14.079 Yeah. 00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:16.960 Because you're not an authority anymore, you know. 00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:25.920 Uh, and so it's it's it's more about how how I am as a parent than it is about the the screen time, I think. 00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:34.160 Because if right now, if I walk outside, if I walk out of this room, and I I'm assuming Amelia, I got no idea, but I'm assuming Amelia's on her iPad. 00:29:34.319 --> 00:29:36.480 Patrick be playing his video games, they'd be sitting there. 00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:41.519 If I walk out there and right now and say, come downstairs, you've got to do something, they would drop their shit and come down. 00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:42.240 Yeah. 00:29:43.359 --> 00:29:44.799 What would happen if you did that? 00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:45.839 Patrick would. 00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:46.640 Yeah. 00:29:46.960 --> 00:29:50.319 Amelia would slowly come down, but she'd be still holding that iPad. 00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:50.960 Yeah. 00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:56.480 And and so there'sn't the authority, isn't quite the same. 00:29:56.640 --> 00:30:07.039 And so then when you go and ask them to do something, it's normally you do you do, you know, uh WOG mother stuff, right? 00:30:07.759 --> 00:30:13.279 Where you like yell and scream and you'll trip the shit out of everybody. 00:30:13.519 --> 00:30:16.720 Um, and and that shit don't work anymore for kids. 00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:18.559 No, they know that shit. 00:30:18.799 --> 00:30:19.839 They know it. 00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:23.039 So um I think authority is a big deal. 00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:24.240 It's a big deal. 00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:28.400 And if you don't have authority and you've given it to your child, good luck. 00:30:28.640 --> 00:30:29.200 Good luck. 00:30:29.279 --> 00:30:30.319 That that that there. 00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:38.240 What I've noticed is when I work with parents, we take care of, we solve the parent problem, we solve the kid problem. 00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:39.839 That's that's

the way I look at it. 00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:47.119 And so if we've got this problem with screen time, I can guarantee you that as soon as we work with the parent, the screen time is no longer an issue. 00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:48.720 Because they've got no power. 00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:50.160 Now there's a lag time. 00:30:50.559 --> 00:30:51.279 There is. 00:30:52.240 --> 00:31:02.000 I had this one family I was working with a while ago, where the uh the kids were school refusing, they were spending a lot of time on their devices. 00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:05.920 Um, they were they were spending time at home doing nothing. 00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:07.680 Yeah, there was their world. 00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:08.799 Yeah, 100%. 00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:17.279 And uh their parents are pulling their hairs out, and there was been a couple families like this, and parents are pulling their hair out, and they're like, I don't know what to do anymore. 00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:19.920 I'm like, take the shit off them. 00:31:20.240 --> 00:31:21.680 They're like, what do you mean? 00:31:21.920 --> 00:31:28.319 Literally pack up the stuff when they don't need it for school and stuff like that, and then put it away. 00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:30.720 Get yourself a safe and stick it in there. 00:31:31.039 --> 00:31:32.960 And they're like, oh, kids will lose a shit. 00:31:33.039 --> 00:31:34.640 Yeah, but you help create this. 00:31:35.119 --> 00:31:38.559 So now you have to deal with the ramifications of that. 00:31:38.880 --> 00:31:42.319 Now they're like, oh, but the idea is to get them back to school. 00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:42.880 Cool. 00:31:43.039 --> 00:31:45.920 You can't get them to school if you're not an authority. 00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:53.519 We need to create a space where it's like if you're at if you're not if you're school refusing and they stay home, that's okay. 00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:56.160 They can use their devices, right? 00:31:56.559 --> 00:32:06.480 The idea is that you sign them up to a uh online learning platform like IXL Learning and then make them do a whole bunch of modules on there. 00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:06.880 Yeah. 00:32:07.039 --> 00:32:09.759 And you can track it because it'll send it all to you. 00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:17.119 I want you to mimic school at home so that they know, oh, what's the point? 00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:18.160 I may as well go to school. 00:32:18.240 --> 00:32:18.640 Yeah. 00:32:18.880 --> 00:32:19.839 And they did. 00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:30.400 Now, these kids that I'm talking about were sitting at an attendance rate at around 20 to 30 percent a year, which is ridiculous, right? 00:32:30.640 --> 00:32:34.000 They're now sitting in the 85-90 range, right? 00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:43.119 All because the parents implemented boundaries for themselves and boundaries for the family, and they didn't deviate. 00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:45.759 And I think that's the hardest thing. 00:32:45.920 --> 00:32:47.039 Don't deviate. 00:32:47.200 --> 00:32:47.440 Yeah. 00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:51.519 Because just because it works for one day, two day, three a day doesn't mean you can stop. 00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:52.559 Yeah, that's right. 00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:53.279 That's right. 00:32:53.519 --> 00:32:54.720 Kids are smart, yeah. 00:32:55.359 --> 00:33:01.599 They rate, they play the game, do what they need to do, and then they see an inch, they'll take them while yeah. 00:33:01.839 --> 00:33:03.039 And you know what? 00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:09.119 Uh I think uh the punishments are different too. 00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:17.279 Like, there's no way growing up in my era, I don't know too many kids that didn't cop a hiding normal growing up, right? 00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:18.480 From their parents. 00:33:18.640 --> 00:33:22.559 If you did that with a parent back then, you copped it. 00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:25.920 Now I feel for parents because they don't know. 00:33:26.079 --> 00:33:27.519 They don't know what they can do. 00:33:28.160 --> 00:33:31.039 And you know, the government stepped in and protected all the kids. 00:33:31.119 --> 00:33:32.480 I've said this before on the show. 00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:43.920 They stepped in to protect the kids, they had to do that, it was great, but then they left the parents with no elder to teach them because the elder did the abuse thing, right? 00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:45.359 Because that was the time. 00:33:45.759 --> 00:33:46.720 And so now what? 00:33:46.880 --> 00:33:48.160 What are those parents left with? 00:33:48.319 --> 00:33:49.839 Yeah, how do I be the authority? 00:33:50.079 --> 00:33:50.720 Yeah. 00:33:51.039 --> 00:33:58.799 And now you look at now, parents are handing a lot of the uh parenting over to schools, to teachers. 00:33:59.119 --> 00:34:01.920 And teachers, like, I'm not I'm not here to parent your child. 00:34:02.079 --> 00:34:02.799 That's right. 00:34:03.359 --> 00:34:05.200 That's that's never gonna work. 00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:13.119 Uh so and then they'll then then they teach they treat their teachers like they treat their parents, like shit. 00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:14.639 Like shit. 00:34:14.719 --> 00:34:16.320 I've seen it firsthand. 00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:17.360 It's bad. 00:34:17.519 --> 00:34:18.480 Yeah, bad. 00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:26.400 You get a parent and a teacher in the same room, you can't tell which one's what from the kid, because the kid responds to this to both of them the same way. 00:34:26.719 --> 00:34:27.840 It's terrible. 00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:31.199 So, authority, what does authority look like? 00:34:31.519 --> 00:34:36.960 Looks like I'm in control here, I'm the adult, these are the rules. 00:34:37.199 --> 00:34:38.960 And what's the consequences? 00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:42.239 Yeah, I I don't like the whole what if. 00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:44.800 If you don't, then this, right? 00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:46.079 I don't like that. 00:34:46.400 --> 00:34:48.639 I like them to think about it

themselves. 00:34:48.960 --> 00:34:50.559 I'm I'm a prick like that. 00:34:50.719 --> 00:34:54.800 I like to leave them just thinking, oh shit, what will he do if I don't do this? 00:34:54.960 --> 00:35:01.519 Yeah, so if kid steps over the boundary, you've set a boundary, they step over it, how do you manage it as a parent? 00:35:01.840 --> 00:35:02.960 Well, how would you? 00:35:03.199 --> 00:35:04.159 How would I? 00:35:04.480 --> 00:35:06.639 I'll pick up my phone and call Aunt Luke. 00:35:08.320 --> 00:35:09.920 See, yeah, old mate over here. 00:35:10.079 --> 00:35:10.559 Look at her. 00:35:10.880 --> 00:35:11.679 No, you wouldn't. 00:35:11.760 --> 00:35:13.440 You'd have to No, I wouldn't. 00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:14.559 I wouldn't. 00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:16.239 How do you handle it? 00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:20.239 Well, Patrick doesn't go over the boundaries. 00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:21.119 Not anymore. 00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:21.679 Not anymore. 00:35:21.920 --> 00:35:22.480 He's geared. 00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:24.719 It used to be we used to take stuff off him. 00:35:24.960 --> 00:35:25.440 Yep. 00:35:25.599 --> 00:35:38.719 Um, you know, he'd miss something, he'll miss a sports day or a swimming, or you know, if if you can't if you can't follow the rules and know what the boundaries are and you keep going over them, then I'm taking something away that you like. 00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:39.440 Yeah. 00:35:39.679 --> 00:35:40.800 And I appreciate that. 00:35:41.679 --> 00:35:44.960 It doesn't happen very often, and it's really hard to do, especially when he's good at something. 00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:48.480 You know, they've been hanging out all week for it, but that's the consequence. 00:35:48.800 --> 00:35:51.599 Yeah, he did that once, didn't he, at a national tournament? 00:35:51.920 --> 00:35:53.199 Mixed it up with a kid in the middle. 00:35:53.360 --> 00:35:54.159 Yeah, he missed the last day. 00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:54.960 He wasn't allowed to play. 00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:56.000 Yeah, missed the last day. 00:35:56.079 --> 00:35:57.119 I made him sit. 00:35:57.360 --> 00:35:58.480 I was coaching. 00:35:58.639 --> 00:36:00.159 Um his punishment. 00:36:00.559 --> 00:36:01.119 Yeah, yeah. 00:36:01.199 --> 00:36:01.920 And that was tough. 00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:03.199 It was tough for me too. 00:36:03.280 --> 00:36:09.280 But either way, um I remember uh going through some stuff. 00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:12.400 Uh Patrick was not doing so well at school. 00:36:12.559 --> 00:36:17.519 He was only in primary school, very young, and I was getting some support for that. 00:36:17.599 --> 00:36:21.920 And then the person I was working with, she's like, You need to do the work. 00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:27.440 And then on on yourself, because he's you know, monkey see, monkey do type thing. 00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:33.199 And then she she's telling him that this is what he needs to do, right? 00:36:33.280 --> 00:36:35.599 You need to follow the rules, blah blah blah blah. 00:36:35.760 --> 00:36:48.239 And then she says to him that if um if you don't follow through and dad has to tell you off, right, that's gonna hurt him more than it's gonna hurt you, right? 00:36:48.800 --> 00:36:54.719 And then she looked at me and said, You can cry in your bedroom, but he can never see you do it. 00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:57.199 And and I'm like, what are you talking about? 00:36:57.360 --> 00:36:59.360 I didn't even think, what the fuck's that shit? 00:36:59.519 --> 00:37:05.119 Anyway, so then Patrick gets told off for something, and I'm like, oh my god, I get it. 00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:08.000 Like I didn't cry, but it was like, oh my god, I get it. 00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:09.119 That actually hurts. 00:37:09.199 --> 00:37:11.199 That hurts me telling me him off. 00:37:11.679 --> 00:37:14.880 And I had to find ways to manage myself in that, yeah. 00:37:15.119 --> 00:37:24.320 Because uh then I start beating myself up for it, and that's when I find most parents will then go um and cave. 00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:31.199 Yeah, I don't want to hurt my child, yeah, but you're not, you're teaching them how to to be functional in this world. 00:37:31.599 --> 00:37:35.519 So screen time is one of those things, it's just one of those things. 00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:41.760 Is there a set time that they uh that which limit them to? 00:37:42.320 --> 00:37:53.360 There's probably a million studies out there about time and you know how much time are they spending on their phones and and on their devices and the impacts on the brain and all that sort of stuff. 00:37:53.519 --> 00:37:55.039 For me, it's pretty simple. 00:37:55.199 --> 00:38:01.679 I think um I like the kids because we live such a busy life, I like the kids just to do whatever they want when they're at home. 00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:06.400 Whatever it is that allows them to, you know, just chill and relax. 00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:06.880 I don't mind. 00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:09.280 Yeah, it's a safe place, it's the place of freedom. 00:38:09.519 --> 00:38:10.079 Do what you want. 00:38:10.159 --> 00:38:10.320 Yep. 00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:11.039 I don't mind. 00:38:11.199 --> 00:38:15.280 If that if that's playing video games, if that's on the on the iPads or whatever, I don't care. 00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:17.039 Just go and enjoy it, right? 00:38:17.679 --> 00:38:27.360 I I know that at minimum, they're off their shit um at least half an hour, 45 to an hour before they even go to bed. 00:38:27.599 --> 00:38:29.199 I know that that happens. 00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:33.840 Old mate Patrick, maybe he sneaks out his phone every now and then, but for sure. 00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:37.840 Um, and there's a group of kids that I know that plays baseball and that with. 00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:39.360 Do late night call group calls. 00:38:39.519 --> 00:38:41.519 Well, they call it some bullshit hours. 00:38:41.599 --> 00:38:43.360 It's like, I'm glad I can't hear it. 00:38:43.840 -->

00:38:45.280 I'm a crack it. 00:38:45.440 --> 00:38:52.159 But um, but I know it's happens, um, but I've never been able to catch it, and to be honest, I kind of don't want to. 00:38:52.719 --> 00:38:58.159 Yeah, because uh like I know what it was like growing up, and it's like uh that was fun. 00:38:58.480 --> 00:39:04.559 I we never could do group calls back then, no, but that was fun to just get on a phone, hanging out with your mates, whatever. 00:39:04.719 --> 00:39:09.039 But and it's different now, but I they're on YouTube for such a short allow of time. 00:39:09.360 --> 00:39:12.960 Enjoy the weekend, um, and it's not getting in the way or nothing. 00:39:13.039 --> 00:39:15.440 He still gets up and goes to school and does all that. 00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:17.360 If he wasn't, that'd be different. 00:39:17.440 --> 00:39:17.760 Yeah. 00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:20.159 Then it would be the boundaries have to come in. 00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:25.280 Yes, that would be very different, and then it'd be like your phone can get charged in my room. 00:39:25.519 --> 00:39:27.280 I'll wake your ass up in the morning. 00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:28.880 Do you know what I mean? 00:39:29.119 --> 00:39:31.920 Um, that's that's how I would handle it. 00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:34.239 Uh, and I wouldn't argue nothing. 00:39:34.400 --> 00:39:35.679 I'm not arguing. 00:39:35.840 --> 00:39:39.280 Um, and I get that it sounds pretty dictator-like. 00:39:39.519 --> 00:39:40.159 Too bad. 00:39:40.400 --> 00:39:43.199 Well, you it comes back to you, like you said, you're the authority. 00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:46.320 Regardless of what happens, I'm gonna have to deal with it. 00:39:46.800 --> 00:39:50.719 I'm gonna have to deal with it at the school, I'm gonna have to deal with your attitude, whatever it is. 00:39:50.880 --> 00:39:52.480 Well, then I'm gonna do it my way. 00:39:52.639 --> 00:39:54.079 That's the way I see it, right? 00:39:54.480 --> 00:39:56.880 Bugger everybody else, we're gonna do it this way. 00:39:56.960 --> 00:39:58.400 You know, I like it, I don't care. 00:39:58.559 --> 00:39:59.840 You get on with your shit. 00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:05.440 Live up to expectations that we have a view and that you have a view, and then we can talk. 00:40:05.679 --> 00:40:07.840 Till then, I don't want to hear shit. 00:40:08.079 --> 00:40:09.679 That's the way I would handle it. 00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:12.639 Um, so authority is important. 00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:17.840 Uh don't even I never ever compromise on that. 00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:20.000 Don't ever compromise on authority. 00:40:20.159 --> 00:40:25.679 As soon as you compromise on authority, you leave yourself compromised as a parent every time. 00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:28.320 So you see it all the time. 00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:40.000 Um, where parents cave if if a child is starting to have a meltdown or crack the shits, or you know, and it's kind of like they cave and they give in. 00:40:40.079 --> 00:40:46.159 And then you

if you watch close enough and it's not your child, because in the moment you're just freaking embarrassed and you want them to shut up. 00:40:46.400 --> 00:40:50.159 Um, but if you watch closely enough, you kind of see the little smile on their face. 00:40:50.320 --> 00:40:51.199 I got what I wanted. 00:40:51.280 --> 00:40:51.440 Yeah. 00:40:51.599 --> 00:40:53.440 I can play the game, I know how to do it. 00:40:53.519 --> 00:40:53.920 Yep. 00:40:54.559 --> 00:41:01.280 And it's it's bad, but you know, it's it's staying in there and staying committed. 00:41:01.760 --> 00:41:02.400 And you know what? 00:41:02.559 --> 00:41:06.159 Most parents will look at it and it's not about judgment at all. 00:41:06.239 --> 00:41:08.880 It's like, I feel for you, we've been there, we've all been there. 00:41:09.119 --> 00:41:10.000 But that's the thing, right? 00:41:10.079 --> 00:41:11.440 Yeah, that's what I was about to say. 00:41:11.679 --> 00:41:14.480 Every parent in the place knows that this is the way it is. 00:41:14.639 --> 00:41:14.960 Yep. 00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:17.440 And we still get embarrassed by it, right? 00:41:18.480 --> 00:41:23.840 Uh, because we we're so hell-bent on comparing ourselves to everybody else around us. 00:41:24.320 --> 00:41:32.239 I I think that if all if if everybody else around you knows exactly the way it is, who cares, man? 00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:34.000 Just let it go. 00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:40.559 Like, as soon as you allow your child to build a strategy, they're gonna use it. 00:41:40.719 --> 00:41:41.519 That's right. 00:41:41.840 --> 00:41:45.519 Not always deliberately, it's automatic program, then. 00:41:45.599 --> 00:41:48.159 And that's the way they manipulate to get the things they want. 00:41:48.320 --> 00:41:51.440 We all manipulate in in situations all the time. 00:41:51.599 --> 00:41:52.639 We all do it. 00:41:52.800 --> 00:41:58.000 We're human, this is what we we we are designed to go get what we want, right? 00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:02.159 We are going to manipulate how we go about it is very, very important. 00:42:02.400 --> 00:42:08.800 And if you allow your your child to do that sort of stuff, it ain't gonna be good for them long term. 00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:11.199 And what type of relationships are they gonna have? 00:42:11.440 --> 00:42:11.760 Yeah. 00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:14.960 To me, I never give a shit, I never cared. 00:42:15.199 --> 00:42:19.280 Well, I think I was more embarrassed by your reactions than Patrick's reactions. 00:42:19.599 --> 00:42:31.519 Yeah, no, lucky he because he would he would do some really big emotional stuff, and I'm like, nah, man, I'm matching that, so I'd match him, and I don't care who saw me. 00:42:31.920 --> 00:42:33.360 Could not give a shit. 00:42:33.599 --> 00:42:43.760 And I remember someone saying to me one day, some lady said to me, um, I'm not gonna use her name, but uh, she says, You're a pig of a man, how dare you speak to your child that way? 00:42:44.000 -->

00:42:45.280 And I said, Guess what? 00:42:45.440 --> 00:42:47.119 She goes, Well, go fuck yourself. 00:42:47.360 --> 00:42:48.960 I don't care, I don't care, man. 00:42:49.039 --> 00:42:50.400 You don't have to live with the kid. 00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:53.039 Yeah, you don't, you don't have to rear him either. 00:42:53.199 --> 00:42:53.920 So you know what? 00:42:54.079 --> 00:42:55.760 Do yourself a favor and just walk away. 00:42:55.920 --> 00:42:56.800 He stopped, didn't he? 00:42:56.960 --> 00:42:58.239 Yeah, he absolutely stopped. 00:42:58.320 --> 00:42:59.920 Yeah, got exactly what we wanted. 00:43:00.639 --> 00:43:03.119 And now look at the rewards of that. 00:43:03.679 --> 00:43:07.760 You know, you uh we're talking about he was probably six, seven years old at the time. 00:43:07.920 --> 00:43:11.280 Now he's 15, very respectful kid. 00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:18.880 Uh people talk really highly of him as a person, and uh, and you know what? 00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:24.559 He can be a little retarded sometimes, but you know, he's just a teenage boy, right? 00:43:25.280 --> 00:43:27.920 But um lucky you can say that, Luke. 00:43:28.079 --> 00:43:30.159 Yeah, unlucky anyway. 00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:39.519 So um I think uh we he is reaping the benefits of what the tough work we had to do initially. 00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:42.239 And and that's the key thing. 00:43:42.480 --> 00:43:49.760 I'm not claiming none of it because he's the one who had to make the adjustments, but we had to create an environment for him to do that. 00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:51.840 Yeah, and that is the important part. 00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:54.400 What environment do we have at home? 00:43:54.639 --> 00:44:02.800 What environment do we have that can allow our children to be who they We're destined to be or who we want them to be. 00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:03.280 Yeah. 00:44:03.679 --> 00:44:08.320 You know, I think that that's got to be something that we discuss as a family too. 00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:11.039 Hey, this is where do you want to go with your life? 00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:11.840 I don't know. 00:44:11.920 --> 00:44:13.440 Most kids will say, I don't know. 00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:17.440 And then it's like, well, this is what I would really love for you to be able to do. 00:44:17.679 --> 00:44:21.440 Have these choices, have these options available to you. 00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:24.400 But you keep acting like this, you got no chance, man. 00:44:24.559 --> 00:44:25.280 That's right. 00:44:25.679 --> 00:44:27.199 So do you want this? 00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:28.320 And they'll say yes. 00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:30.000 It's gonna be tough work. 00:44:30.320 --> 00:44:32.400 Yeah, okay, whatever, whatever. 00:44:33.199 --> 00:44:34.480 Sometimes I'll probably say no. 00:44:34.559 --> 00:44:37.039 And then it's like, well, too bad we're doing it. 00:44:37.440 --> 00:44:37.760 Right? 00:44:37.920 --> 00:44:39.840 Because if I'm the authority, that's unlucky. 00:44:39.920 --> 00:44:40.400 I don't care. 00:44:40.639 --> 00:44:42.079 I don't mind if you don't like it. 00:44:42.239 --> 00:44:46.719 But you will respect it, especially in five years' time. 00:44:47.039 --> 00:44:49.840 Have a very similar conversation about sport today with somebody. 00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:52.800 And like, you know what, we've got to change the culture in this space. 00:44:53.039 --> 00:44:55.039 Because if we do, things will be different. 00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:58.079 And then people will want to stick around and be a part of it. 00:44:58.239 --> 00:45:00.320 And they'll thank you later, right? 00:45:00.800 --> 00:45:02.159 And it's the same thing. 00:45:02.239 --> 00:45:04.880 You have to be committed for the long term. 00:45:05.199 --> 00:45:06.880 Don't be committed for a month. 00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:08.159 It's not a diet. 00:45:08.320 --> 00:45:10.880 We're building a young human here. 00:45:11.440 --> 00:45:13.119 What are we looking for? 00:45:13.360 --> 00:45:13.760 Yeah. 00:45:13.840 --> 00:45:19.440 And if we're going to go after this, we have to teach them what it looks like to be committed. 00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:22.960 And if you're not going to be committed, you're giving them nothing. 00:45:23.119 --> 00:45:24.480 You're hamstringing them. 00:45:24.960 --> 00:45:31.599 And then you're saying to them, hey, let me break both your legs and I want you to run a hundred meter sprint as fast as you can. 00:45:32.480 --> 00:45:33.440 No chance. 00:45:33.840 --> 00:45:34.239 Right? 00:45:34.400 --> 00:45:53.679 So I think that um, and I can get pretty passionate about that stuff because purely because of the stuff I've had to deal with in this room that could have easily been avoided if a parent was centered enough within themselves to say, I can be an authority and I don't have to hurt you. 00:45:54.000 --> 00:46:00.639 But it's like you said, they don't know because the generation that they learnt off was they're being told you can't parent like that anymore. 00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:04.800 Yes, but the the parent the generation before us still did this. 00:46:05.760 --> 00:46:08.960 It's just if you didn't, then you got the next bit. 00:46:09.119 --> 00:46:09.440 Yeah. 00:46:09.840 --> 00:46:10.880 The boundary was still there. 00:46:11.039 --> 00:46:12.880 It was just with the consequences. 00:46:13.039 --> 00:46:13.440 Yes. 00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:14.559 We're not good. 00:46:14.719 --> 00:46:15.360 And and yeah. 00:46:15.599 --> 00:46:17.440 So we have to replace that with something else. 00:46:17.599 --> 00:46:17.920 Yep. 00:46:18.079 --> 00:46:18.400 Yeah. 00:46:18.639 --> 00:46:18.960 All right. 00:46:19.039 --> 00:46:19.920 So let's wrap it up. 00:46:20.239 --> 00:46:21.039 Wrap it up already. 00:46:21.199 --> 00:46:22.320 No, into a toolkit. 00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:23.280 Yeah, no, it's okay. 00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:24.880 That that that is my talk. 00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:26.159 Be with the authority. 00:46:26.320 -->

00:46:27.519 What does that look like? 00:46:27.760 --> 00:46:37.199 Um, if you have a a teenage kid that's 17, 18 years old, it's gonna be tough. 00:46:37.360 --> 00:46:38.800 It's gonna be tough to change. 00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:42.239 If they're 15, 16, it's gonna be tough to change. 00:46:42.400 --> 00:46:45.679 If they're 40, whatever, over here, no chance. 00:46:46.159 --> 00:46:46.800 My fault. 00:46:47.519 --> 00:46:48.000 No chance. 00:46:48.239 --> 00:46:49.920 It's like I'm finger pointing. 00:46:50.159 --> 00:46:52.559 Uh I'm sorry, am I pointing at you? 00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:54.000 So just like this. 00:46:54.159 --> 00:46:54.719 Yeah, okay. 00:46:54.800 --> 00:46:59.920 Um, if you hear the words that came out of your mouth, no chance of change, so leave me alone. 00:47:00.159 --> 00:47:03.440 It's I don't even say anything anymore. 00:47:03.679 --> 00:47:08.480 You if you watch, I love this bit when the kids are talking to you because you're on your phone, right? 00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:19.920 Have a think about these parents, if you're out there and your kids talking to you, and then all of a sudden, they start yelling at you, Mom, mom, right? 00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:22.000 And then what does the parent do? 00:47:22.159 --> 00:47:23.360 What do you want? 00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:24.320 Right? 00:47:24.480 --> 00:47:27.280 They get all angry, understand? 00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:30.960 They probably already called you probably five times before that. 00:47:31.199 --> 00:47:32.800 Yeah, we do the same. 00:47:33.119 --> 00:47:36.000 What they what our kids do is they copied me. 00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:38.239 We say nothing. 00:47:39.119 --> 00:47:42.320 We just stand there, and then you'll look around. 00:47:42.480 --> 00:47:42.880 What? 00:47:43.199 --> 00:47:43.519 What? 00:47:44.079 --> 00:47:45.280 And then the kids will laugh. 00:47:45.440 --> 00:47:46.400 I'll laugh. 00:47:47.039 --> 00:47:48.239 Well, what do you want? 00:47:48.639 --> 00:47:55.119 That's what you'd say all the time, and then you've got this stupid grid on your face, and then then and then the kids will Amelia's the worst. 00:47:55.199 --> 00:47:56.079 She gets an assieper. 00:47:56.320 --> 00:47:57.519 Well, mom, I've been calling you. 00:47:58.239 --> 00:47:59.199 And she tells you off. 00:47:59.440 --> 00:48:04.000 But she's also, and when you when you do look at it, yeah, she's got a problem with screen time too. 00:48:04.159 --> 00:48:05.920 But she's just doing exactly the same that I'm doing. 00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:06.159 Yeah. 00:48:06.320 --> 00:48:07.440 Monkey see, monkey do. 00:48:07.599 --> 00:48:07.760 Okay. 00:48:08.239 --> 00:48:11.440 You know, we talk about that in lots and lots and lots of different episodes. 00:48:11.599 --> 00:48:16.079 So if your kids have got screen problems, sometimes they're just copying what adults do. 00:48:16.239 --> 00:48:16.559 Yep. 00:48:16.719 --> 00:48:18.559 And you could be doing that with work. 00:48:19.199 --> 00:48:19.519 Right? 00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:23.360 And that's really tough one to work through. 00:48:23.599 --> 00:48:28.400 Um yeah, what are you what are you doing that's allowing them to do that? 00:48:28.719 --> 00:48:31.440 What can't and then how do you navigate that? 00:48:31.519 --> 00:48:32.639 I think that's the toughest part. 00:48:32.800 --> 00:48:44.800 If you're working, or if you're if you're a single parent and you've got to do a whole bunch of cooking and cleaning and all this sort of stuff, and the easiest way is to just go about it your business, give them a job to do. 00:48:45.280 --> 00:48:46.639 That's what I would do. 00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:48.800 Um, I do already. 00:48:49.039 --> 00:48:51.360 Patrick hates it when it's time to cut the grass. 00:48:51.599 --> 00:48:52.400 Hates it. 00:48:52.639 --> 00:48:53.119 Hates it. 00:48:53.199 --> 00:48:55.679 It's like we're getting up early to cut the grass, he'll sleep in. 00:48:55.840 --> 00:48:57.199 Then I'll wake him up. 00:48:57.519 --> 00:48:58.480 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:48:58.559 --> 00:48:58.880 I forgot. 00:48:58.960 --> 00:49:01.119 Yeah, yeah, I know, because you were asleep, you dumbass. 00:49:01.280 --> 00:49:01.840 Get up. 00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:03.440 And then he's doing it. 00:49:03.679 --> 00:49:04.000 Right. 00:49:04.320 --> 00:49:07.760 Um, and then when he's done that, you've probably got 10 jobs for him to do. 00:49:07.840 --> 00:49:09.360 Well, I'm doing 10 other jobs. 00:49:09.519 --> 00:49:11.840 But we give him jobs, and then I love Emilia. 00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:13.039 Millie just wants to help. 00:49:13.119 --> 00:49:14.719 So she gets him those jobs too. 00:49:14.880 --> 00:49:18.159 And so if we're going back to toolkit, be the authority. 00:49:18.559 --> 00:49:20.800 No compromising, none. 00:49:21.119 --> 00:49:23.760 Boundaries, boundaries got to be solid. 00:49:24.000 --> 00:49:28.800 Compromising where it's like, oh, if I do this, can I get 10 minutes of screen time? 00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:33.119 If you are, if if things are that petty, you are not the authority. 00:49:33.360 --> 00:49:37.679 If they have to negotiate that shit with you, you are not an authority. 00:49:38.000 --> 00:49:39.760 Okay, tang you right now, you're not. 00:49:39.920 --> 00:49:43.199 Because they should never, there is no negotiation, right? 00:49:43.360 --> 00:49:44.880 It's either they got it or they don't. 00:49:45.599 --> 00:49:48.559 It's not, oh, if I do this, can I do that? 00:49:48.800 --> 00:49:52.159 If you're saying if they're saying that to you, you've probably used that language with them. 00:49:52.880 --> 00:49:54.800 So uh let's let's dump that. 00:49:54.880 --> 00:49:56.000 And it really is. 00:49:56.960 --> 00:50:00.960 When we are an authority, it really is about language and how we deliver. 00:50:01.360 --> 00:50:16.320 If we are using uh bitchy tones, probably the easiest way to say it, or um aggressive tones, or I'm arguing with my child, you've

already lost. 00:50:17.280 --> 00:50:27.440 If you're using command tonality where everything goes down, because I'm making a point, you're probably being a pretty good authority. 00:50:27.760 --> 00:50:33.920 If you're not using that, I'm sorry, it's gonna be tough work. 00:50:34.159 --> 00:50:40.320 So if you have an issue with your child, not following boundaries or something like that, do the work on yourself. 00:50:40.480 --> 00:50:48.239 Don't do it on child, because it's really easy to blame the kid, but it's really hard to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your role in it. 00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:49.199 Definitely is. 00:50:49.599 --> 00:50:51.599 Do your work, do the work on you first. 00:50:51.679 --> 00:50:52.639 Yep, show them what it looks like. 00:50:52.800 --> 00:50:54.480 And Luke's really good at showing that mirror. 00:50:54.719 --> 00:50:59.280 I suppose everyone here already knows that because he constantly holds that mirror in front of me. 00:50:59.519 --> 00:51:01.280 Oh, I ask questions, mate. 00:51:01.440 --> 00:51:03.920 Oh, you're allowed to answer HR over here. 00:51:04.000 --> 00:51:04.320 Come on. 00:51:04.400 --> 00:51:06.400 No, all right. 00:51:08.159 --> 00:51:09.360 Move it along. 00:51:09.599 --> 00:51:10.639 Thanks for that, Luke. 00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:11.280 Yeah. 00:51:11.519 --> 00:51:12.079 Sweet. 00:51:12.719 --> 00:51:15.280 So goal and achievement. 00:51:15.519 --> 00:51:17.519 What was your I don't even know what your goal was. 00:51:17.679 --> 00:51:18.559 I don't think I gave one. 00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:20.400 I think I talked around it. 00:51:20.480 --> 00:51:26.000 I I I listened to um the podcast from last week and I'm like, there's no fucking goal. 00:51:27.280 --> 00:51:28.079 You're shit. 00:51:28.239 --> 00:51:28.559 Yeah. 00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:38.800 So I will say, uh, from an achievement perspective, uh, the system that I've been trying to get across to, uh, it's I'm pretty much 100% there. 00:51:38.960 --> 00:51:45.440 Oh, we did achieve a goal that you set about three, four, five weeks ago, because you can set the same goal repeatively. 00:51:45.519 --> 00:51:46.480 So I know, I know. 00:51:46.719 --> 00:51:47.760 We finally achieved it. 00:51:48.000 --> 00:51:50.800 Yes, yes, I'm about 95% there. 00:51:51.039 --> 00:51:57.039 Uh the rest of it that needs to come across is more as I go. 00:51:57.119 --> 00:51:58.480 So that's not too bad. 00:51:58.719 --> 00:52:00.239 Um, how about you? 00:52:00.400 --> 00:52:01.199 What was your goal? 00:52:01.360 --> 00:52:07.440 Uh, I think my goal was about well, the goal last week was about doing lunches, and we realized we don't need I don't need to do that. 00:52:07.519 --> 00:52:09.840 So we set the goal about doing breakfasts instead. 00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:10.159 Yep. 00:52:10.320 --> 00:52:11.039 That's going on. 00:52:11.440 --> 00:52:12.159 Yeah, I've done better with that. 00:52:12.320 --> 00:52:13.119 I've done better with that.

00:52:13.280 --> 00:52:13.440 Yeah. 00:52:13.599 --> 00:52:14.079 It's good. 00:52:14.320 --> 00:52:14.719 For sure. 00:52:14.880 --> 00:52:15.199 Yep. 00:52:15.360 --> 00:52:16.159 For sure. 00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:18.079 Um, yeah. 00:52:18.320 --> 00:52:19.199 What about this week? 00:52:19.360 --> 00:52:20.400 You got a goal for this week? 00:52:20.559 --> 00:52:21.039 Oh no. 00:52:21.199 --> 00:52:21.679 No, no. 00:52:21.920 --> 00:52:22.880 No, you don't have a goal? 00:52:23.119 --> 00:52:23.440 No. 00:52:24.800 --> 00:52:26.079 Well, I have a goal. 00:52:26.239 --> 00:52:26.719 Good. 00:52:26.880 --> 00:52:28.880 My goal I've got to execute tomorrow. 00:52:29.280 --> 00:52:29.920 Well, tomorrow. 00:52:30.159 --> 00:52:30.320 Plus. 00:52:31.760 --> 00:52:32.960 Yeah, tomorrow's Tuesday. 00:52:33.039 --> 00:52:34.639 We're recording today, today's Monday. 00:52:34.800 --> 00:52:35.199 Yes. 00:52:35.519 --> 00:52:37.360 This is going live at 6 a.m. 00:52:37.519 --> 00:52:38.159 tomorrow morning. 00:52:38.320 --> 00:52:38.880 Yes. 00:52:39.440 --> 00:52:43.360 Tomorrow night, uh, I'm doing a team building session. 00:52:43.519 --> 00:52:44.639 Oh, that's gonna be interesting. 00:52:44.880 --> 00:52:46.559 At a at a baseball club. 00:52:46.800 --> 00:52:52.320 Um, they need a bit of support, our club, uh, for a couple of teams. 00:52:52.559 --> 00:52:54.159 So doing that. 00:52:54.719 --> 00:52:56.559 Uh so what's the goal on that? 00:52:56.800 --> 00:53:01.519 The goal is to get the outcome where everybody can respect each other. 00:53:02.400 --> 00:53:03.840 Because right now they don't. 00:53:04.480 --> 00:53:11.599 Um, and and get them vibing to the point where they can actually enjoy each other's company. 00:53:12.079 --> 00:53:14.559 Because they get they're getting pretty nasty towards each other. 00:53:14.719 --> 00:53:14.880 Yeah. 00:53:15.039 --> 00:53:16.880 So and and I'm you're one of them. 00:53:16.960 --> 00:53:18.559 You're nasty for your wife, so you know. 00:53:18.800 --> 00:53:20.960 Oh listen here, mate. 00:53:21.119 --> 00:53:22.000 It's all love. 00:53:22.239 --> 00:53:23.280 Come from my heart. 00:53:23.599 --> 00:53:24.079 Please. 00:53:24.320 --> 00:53:25.440 Uh tune it up. 00:53:25.599 --> 00:53:26.079 Yeah. 00:53:26.480 --> 00:53:37.599 The difficult part is for me, is I'm a bit unsure how some of the activities we're gonna do tomorrow will land, but I've got the courage to fuck it up, so yeah. 00:53:38.880 --> 00:53:39.199 Yep. 00:53:39.440 --> 00:53:40.400 Do you have one? 00:53:40.719 --> 00:53:44.079 Uh my goal is to be a better friend. 00:53:44.320 --> 00:53:44.880 A better friend. 00:53:45.920 --> 00:53:46.800 How'd that come about? 00:53:46.960 --> 00:53:49.679 Um just something that we were talking about earlier. 00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:52.079 Try try talking into the microphone. 00:53:52.320 --> 00:53:53.840 Just something we're talking about earlier. 00:53:54.079 --> 00:53:54.960 Without eating it. 00:53:59.519 --> 00:54:01.280 I didn't ever touch it. 00:54:01.519 --> 00:54:03.199 Anyway, talking about. 00:54:03.519 --> 00:54:05.519 You know what he's gonna tell me off laughter after. 00:54:09.360 --> 00:54:12.159 My goal is to reach out to some of my friends. 00:54:12.320 --> 00:54:18.719 That it's it's always, you know, life gets in the way, we message each other, we always try and catch up. 00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:20.559 You can never get find a date. 00:54:20.800 --> 00:54:23.119 It's to get that back on. 00:54:23.679 --> 00:54:24.239 But you know what? 00:54:24.320 --> 00:54:26.639 You don't have to catch up with them. 00:54:26.800 --> 00:54:27.840 You could just call them. 00:54:28.000 --> 00:54:28.400 I know that. 00:54:28.559 --> 00:54:29.199 I know that. 00:54:29.440 --> 00:54:32.079 I know you don't have to always see each other face to face. 00:54:32.239 --> 00:54:35.039 Oh, yeah, I know, and part of that, one of them messaged me while while we're talking. 00:54:35.119 --> 00:54:36.079 So that's really nice. 00:54:36.239 --> 00:54:36.400 Yeah. 00:54:36.559 --> 00:54:37.360 How was that? 00:54:37.440 --> 00:54:38.800 Yeah, beautiful. 00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:41.440 Well, good luck with that. 00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:43.440 Hopefully that all goes well. 00:54:44.639 --> 00:54:45.199 You know what? 00:54:45.280 --> 00:54:46.480 You're not getting a message. 00:54:46.719 --> 00:54:47.519 You know what? 00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:48.880 Excellent. 00:54:52.480 --> 00:54:53.760 Oh, I'm so happy. 00:54:53.840 --> 00:54:55.920 That that that's really good news, Joe. 00:54:56.079 --> 00:54:57.679 It's really good news. 00:55:00.960 --> 00:55:01.760 Oh, yeah. 00:55:02.079 --> 00:55:05.599 It may just aren't a fight away and get to stop talking, let alone messaging. 00:55:05.760 --> 00:55:06.559 Do you know what? 00:55:07.360 --> 00:55:08.800 I can't get it out of my head. 00:55:08.880 --> 00:55:10.239 You you nearly ate the microphone. 00:55:11.440 --> 00:55:12.079 You did, man. 00:55:12.239 --> 00:55:14.320 I can't get it um stuck in my head. 00:55:14.480 --> 00:55:19.280 Anyway, um, I think that's it for today. 00:55:20.719 --> 00:55:23.119 Thank you, Joe, for your laughs. 00:55:23.599 --> 00:55:24.320 My laughs, yeah. 00:55:24.480 --> 00:55:25.280 I mean you're picking on me. 00:55:25.360 --> 00:55:26.480 You ain't I'm not picking on you. 00:55:27.119 --> 00:55:29.840 I'm just laughing at what I've uh what I observed, Joe. 00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:31.280 Just laughing at what I observed. 00:55:31.440 --> 00:55:33.440 I can't fucking see you, bloody Asian. 00:55:33.679 --> 00:55:34.960 Oh, hey, hey. 00:55:35.119 --> 00:55:36.480 Hey, don't have to get racist. 00:55:36.639 --> 00:55:37.199 Oh, I'm not. 00:55:37.679 --> 00:55:39.920 Same thing I didn't all try and eat mine, right? 00:55:40.239 --> 00:55:42.400 Wearing it wearing it cancelled now. 00:55:42.480 --> 00:55:43.679 Oh calm down, mate. 00:55:43.760 --> 00:55:47.119 Anyway, uh, thank you everybody for listening in. 00:55:47.360 --> 00:55:49.760 Um, hope you got something out of it. 00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:52.079 If you get stuck, please reach out. 00:55:52.239 --> 00:55:53.519 Let's have a chat. 00:55:53.760 --> 00:56:02.480 Uh this stuff, this stuff isn't always easy to do, and if you do try and do it by yourself, it'll feel like the whole world's against you. 00:56:02.639 --> 00:56:05.760 So um reach out and let us help you. 00:56:06.000 --> 00:56:11.599 Yes, we're gonna have a chat in a lighthearted way, but there's some good messages there. 00:56:14.880 --> 00:56:16.559 Very broken speech. 00:56:16.800 --> 00:56:18.880 Uh I'm gonna say something else, though. 00:56:19.920 --> 00:56:21.599 Nate, just so you know, that wasn't AI. 00:56:21.760 --> 00:56:23.119 Even AI is smoother than that. 00:56:23.199 --> 00:56:23.679 Oh my god. 00:56:23.840 --> 00:56:24.719 Come on, Robo. 00:56:24.880 --> 00:56:25.519 Uh anyway. 00:56:25.840 --> 00:56:27.360 Uh thank you, Joe. 00:56:27.840 --> 00:56:28.800 Thank you, Joe. 00:56:28.960 --> 00:56:30.800 Um not coming back next week. 00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:34.880 Well, I wouldn't know because you're not gonna message me. 00:56:35.039 --> 00:56:39.519 So um I hope everybody enjoyed this uh episode. 00:56:39.679 --> 00:56:42.559 Um, and I hope everybody has a great week. 00:56:42.800 --> 00:56:43.840 Uh take care. 00:56:44.079 --> 00:56:44.800 You got something? 00:56:44.960 --> 00:56:45.360 Yep. 00:56:45.519 --> 00:56:47.840 Well, see you next week. 00:56:48.159 --> 00:56:49.599 I'll see what I'm looking at you. 00:56:49.679 --> 00:56:49.760 No. 00:56:50.320 --> 00:56:51.280 You're gonna do another one anything. 00:56:51.360 --> 00:56:54.239 No, I'm gonna look at you because then you're gonna accuse me of eating the microphone, sorry. 00:56:57.280 --> 00:56:57.440 Okay. 00:56:59.039 --> 00:56:59.840 Take care, guys. 00:57:00.079 --> 00:57:00.639 Bye.