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Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your sanctuary for bold conversations
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that spark change. I'm Joanne Lockwood, your guide on this journey
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of exploration into the heart of inclusion, belonging and societal
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transformation. Ever wondered what it truly takes to create a
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world? Remember, everyone not only belongs, but
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thrives. You're not alone. Join me as we uncover the unseen,
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challenge the status quo and share stories that resonate deep
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within. Ready to dive in. Whether you're sipping your morning coffee or
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winding down after a long day, let's connect, reflect and
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inspire action together. Don't forget, you can be part of the
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conversation too. Reach out to
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jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to share your
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insights or to join me on the show. So adjust your earbuds
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and settle in. It's time to ignite the spark of inclusion with
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Inclusion Bites.
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And today is episode 226 with the
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title Wellness Without Barriers. And I have the absolute honour and
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privilege to welcome Gemma Davies. Gemma is the founder of Wellness
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Without Barriers and she helps people living with chronic illness
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disability have fluctuating conditions to access gentler,
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more realistic and inclusive wellbeing support. When I asked Gemma to describe her
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sympath, she said that this is turning lived experience into connection
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and support for others. Hello, Gemma, welcome to the
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show.
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Hi, Jo, it's great to be here. Thank you for having me.
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Excellent. We were chatting away just now and I believe you're probably one of the closest
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geographically guests I've had on the podcast for some
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time. You're not far from me. Where are you based?
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I'm based in Wiltshire in the uk.
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Not far from Longley, apparently.
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No, it's literally just up the road from me.
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Yeah. If anyone listening to this somewhere else in the world, Longley is a big stately
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home and it's infamous for the lions of Longley. It's a big lion sanctuary,
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Load full transcript
lion safari park. Is that still
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going?
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That is still going. It's absolutely beautiful here as well.
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It is, yeah. I remember it was a childhood
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holiday. Used to go there, I think several times in my. My younger days for day trips and things,
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I guess. It's a big draw. It's no theme wise, I just don't want
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to. Adventure is. It's. It's more.
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It's an amazing place to go to.
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Yeah. You, you founded this, your organisation, Wellness Without
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Barriers, recently or not so long ago. Tell us the story about
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how. How it came to pass.
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Well, actually, Jo, it's come from lived experience. So five years ago
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I had a stroke, like episode and I was rushed into hospital with a
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fast ambulance and I lost eight hours that day. So I was taken
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in. I had loads of tests done, MRIs, CT scans, bloods, ECGs,
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and everything came back normal. All I remember of that day is waking up in
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hospital and there was a physiotherapist in front of me, along with my partner,
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who I didn't know was my partner at the time. I'd lost all my memory and I was given a
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leaflet on something that was called fnd, which is functional
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neurological disorder. And I was sent home. I was not able to walk, I was not able to
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talk. Me and my partner were just sent on our way to be told that we might have
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fnd, which is sad state of affairs for the healthcare
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system. But I've learned since then that FND is not widely
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known. So my own experience within the healthcare system allowed me to
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realise that wellness is not exactly accessible for all disabled
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people or chronically ill people. And that's where wellness without barriers has come
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from.
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So let me just ask you some questions about that because what's going through my head
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is. So you're in hospital, you're struggling to remember who
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you are or any, any, any significant facts around your near relationships, anything like
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that. You're barely able to walk, talk and
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function as a, as you were before, and they're, they're sending you
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home. Did they send you home a care package or any support or is this
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literally. Nope, just a bed. Just a
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leaflet.
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Yep, just a leaflet, provided my partner with a wheelchair and that was
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it, I went home.
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Wow. No. A GP referral, a follow up appointment,
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anything?
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No, no. I had to chase that myself. Well, my partner did, he did the majority
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of it. For the first two years we chased at the GP and got an appointment with a
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neurologist.
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That must have been quite scary.
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It was, it was very scary.
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My experience of the hospital environment and that, I think what you're talking about here is this
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gap between fixing you physically and
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fixing you holistically was by my mother in law before she passed
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away. She was clearly not well. She had a lack of well
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being, but physically she was
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okay. So they're almost saying, well, the hospital, the bed is there to treat you
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physically, not holistically. And it's a real frustration that you could be in a
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situation where clearly you need support, but there's nothing to hand you over
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to.
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There is a big gap there. And that became very apparent very quickly to my partner and my
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family. So we had to reach out ourselves and do everything
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ourselves. My partner spent hours and hours researching functional neurological
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disorder whilst I was led next to him having seizures and not being able
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to speak and not being able to move. It was very
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scary.
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So how was your partner feeling at this
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stage? They must have been quite worried about you.
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He was, he was extremely worried, extremely frustrated and I think he was
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a little bit overwhelmed with having to deal with everything and having to go from,
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you know, being at work himself to almost being a full time
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carer. He had to take a lot of leave to look after me and he also tried to
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hide it as best he could from my daughters so that they didn't actually see any of the seizures or
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anything like that, as well as running a household. And he had his own medical issues as
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well that he was also dealing with. So I think he was a little bit overwhelmed with
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everything. But he powered on as he always
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does. And I wouldn't know as much about FND now if he hadn't
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been able to do that, all that research and everything
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himself.
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Does it remind me what FND stands for again?
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You said it earlier, it's Functional Neurological
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disorder.
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And it's a purely neurological. There's no physicality, you're
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not. Nothing's broken as such. It's just
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a. That the fuse is blown. Is it? Or something like that.
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Yeah. So how they describe it is a hardware
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issue. So it's almost like your computer
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rebooting. So if you have an issue, a virus on your computer and it
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completely shuts down and it reboots, not everything is
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reconnected properly. So your brain fails to send signals to
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certain parts of your body or it, it becomes very
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sensit. That would normally not be a
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bother. Things actually are so
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oversensitized. So like your flight or fight modes, things like
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that, they are over sensitised and you can become, your body can
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become overwhelmed very quickly and then it has an outlay and it can
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be in the form of ticks, twitches, seizures, paralysis,
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blackouts. It can even be headaches, sleep disorders, things like
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that. And that's why FND is such an big umbrella of a diagnosis, that
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there's so much that comes under that. I believe they've now put
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fibromyalgia under FND. So yeah, it's, it's, it's very
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widely. It's a big diagnosis. There's a lot of varieties that come
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under it.
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So Tourette's maybe with tics?
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Yes, yep, that's, that's a
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consideration. Even Parkinson's. So people that have tremors or handshakes,
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feet shakes. I've known people be wheelchair bound, paralysed
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because of it, and it can start at any age. We've recently had
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a young lady who we've learned about in an FND group that I
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go to. She's 10 years old and she's just been
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diagnosed.
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Yeah, well, so I'm gonna make an assumption here, because we're having this conversation that
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you have improved slightly since that initial hospitalisation
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and you've. Are you still improving or have you kind of plateaued or how are you on
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your journey?
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I'm still learning every day about things that happen and as it
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progresses, for me, it's new symptoms seem to come
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out. So I've gone from having seizures, extreme
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fatigue, and when I get extremely tired, my speech slurs and then I'm not able
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to walk properly, my feet turn in, both pointing towards each other, so it's very hard to
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walk. 2. Having blackouts. I had a blackout behind the wheel of my car, crashed my
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car, lost my driving licence. But I've learned over the last five years since this
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happened, how to try and. How can I put
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it? Not. Not stop, but maintain a healthy
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lifestyle. As I'm going, I know my limits. I listen to my body and when my body
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starts telling me that I'm getting a little bit fatigued or it's too much, it's too
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overwhelming, it sends little signals and. But I'm still progressing every
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day. I have good days and I have bad days. I'm quite lucky that today's a good day, but
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because of being interviewed for only the second time in my life, I'll probably be
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overwhelmed after this and I'll probably have to sleep for a few
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hours. So, yeah, it can differ every day, but my journey is still ongoing
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and because of that, I feel that I'm a good person to be running wellness without
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barriers and helping others because of my lived
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experience. That's currently still going.
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So is your. I'm going to say the word condition. Condition's the right word, I
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hope. Is your condition recognised as a disability under the Equality
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Act? Do you have social. Social support in terms of disability
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benefits, those sort of things, or are you being literally told to get on with
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life?
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It is known. It is a formal disability that's under the Disabilities
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Act. It is now. It wasn't a few years ago and I do get support
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from. From the government as such. Some people are having issues with
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regards to PIP and Disability Living Allowance, but I'm quite lucky in
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my own circumstances that I get that support. And I've had such great support
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from my local job centre in Trowbridge. There's a lady who I work with there who has
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been an absolute superstar. She's helped me build my business and she's even
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included me on their internal Internet as a
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disabled entrepreneur who's working within my life and
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she's been there every step of the way. So there is support out
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there. You've just got to really know where to look and I can help with
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that. You know, as someone that's been through it, that's where I
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stand. I can help people with advice, where to go and things like
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that.
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Are there research projects underway or studies to look into this
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in more detail, or are you kind of in this sort of vacuum where nothing's really
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happening?
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I believe they're doing some research on MRI
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scans. It turns out that there are actual differences between somebody that
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has. Is normal, let's say normal as normal can
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be. To somebody who has been diagnosed with FND, there are slight neurological
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changes within the brain that they have noticed, but it's not something that
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they really look out for. So if you go in presenting with stroke symptoms like I
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did, they would look for the normal signs of a blood clot within the brain or a
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bleed or something like that. So they don't really look for these specific
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changes. But I do know there's research going on around making training
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available for neurologists or radiologists to have a look for those specific
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changes. They're very, very small, but there are
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changes. I don't know how far they are with that, but I read an article on that not
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long ago and there's plenty of people out there who are doing apps that you can
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log all your symptoms with and it's used for research and things like that,
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which are really, really helpful. I use one every
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day. It's called NeuroLog by a gentleman called Stephen
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Painter. He has FND himself and he created Neurolog using his own conditions,
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his own symptoms. So there are things that are out there, but because FND is not
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widely known, there's not many people that are aware
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of.
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So whilst they don't know much about it, is there any
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kind of conjecture on the cause? Was it a mini
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stroke? Was it a virus? Was it just one of those
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things? I mean, do they have any kind of what they think is the likely
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trigger?
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So when I was first diagnosed, they put it down to
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stress. So I was under a lot of pressure in my job, in my Home life with things
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going on and it just got to the stage where my brain just gave
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in. But now they've realised that it can be a source of trauma they're putting
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it down to. It can either be something that happened to you years and years
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ago, or it can be something that happened quite
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recently. It's not necessarily just a stress related issue or a mental
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health issue. It can be from a fall. For example, if you fell over and hit your
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head, that can be a massive starting point for
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FND. They basically put it down to your brain's just had enough and it's just
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gone, no, no more. It completely down. And as it's rebooting, you kind of have
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to teach it using. It's called
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neuroplasticity. So you're kind of working with your nervous system to try
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and make the brain remember how to deal with your flight or fight modes and
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things like that. Just to train it again to try and get some normality
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back. And it doesn't work for everybody. Talking therapies as well, they use
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that a bit of cbt. Again, it depends on people's symptoms because everybody
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presents differently. I mean, whereas I presented with what looked like
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stroke symptoms, somebody can probably fall out of their chair,
hit their
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head and they present with different
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symptoms. Unfortunately, within the healthcare setting, because it's not
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widely known, when doctors do find out that you have something like
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functional neurological disorder, unfortunately they try and put
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everything underneath that umbrella, blame it on the FND every single
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time. But that's just because of lack of education, I
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believe.
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So this is now a lifelong, I'm trying to think of the right word to use a
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condition, a lifelong situation which you've had to come to terms over the
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last five years going through, I would have thought, your own mental health as
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well as the fnd. Your mental health journey has been quite a struggle to get
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grips with as well as has.
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It has been very hard. It's almost like accepting that you have a disability when you
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were perfectly healthy beforehand. It can be
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difficult. I go through good days and bad days trying to remember the person who I was
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compared to the person I am now is very, very hard. And it's taken a long time for me to
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even accept the fact that I am a registered disabled
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person. And I know some people would probably criticise
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that. But I myself personally have always seen myself as a fit, healthy
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person. And because I was practically bedridden for two years, I gained
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weight. And that was something else that really messed with my mental
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health. When I sought help for that. I was told to just join a slimming
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club. Even though I couldn't do half of the things that they do at a slimming
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club. Getting there and being surrounded by people was bad
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enough. With the anxiety side of things, I've got better with the help of my partner,
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who's very understanding. My two daughters, they're very understanding and they
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listen all the time. Even if they have no advice. I know I can talk to
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them. And it just, it sounds silly, but kind of goes through one ear and out the
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other. They don't have an opinion, they don't try and fix it or anything like
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that. They just listen. And
that's what's needed for me
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sometimes. It's been a tough road, but I've come out on the other end and I want to be
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that person for other people.
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So it really wasn't literally a case of on Tuesday morning
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you were getting on with life and by Tuesday evening everything had
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changed.
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Yep, absolutely. And my whole life was turned upside down and my whole family's life was
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turned upside down. It was a massive shock and it was extremely
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scary. And it's not something that I would want anybody to go through or do on
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their own. Definitely not.
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You must have feelings of. It's not fair. Why
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me?
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Yes. Yeah, I do all the time.
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But I guess by starting the business, becoming, you know, putting yourself into
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supporting others, it's. It's a very cathartic way of, of
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dealing with things because you're, you're dealing with yourself, but you're not focusing on yourself, you're focusing on
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others. It allows you to heal yourself differently, doesn't it, without being sort
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of self focused?
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Yes, it does. And I actually find that some of the advice I give some of my clients as well
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is I sit there and think maybe I need to take that advice
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myself. I can help people all the time, but to take my own
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advice can be difficult. But there are times where it's a big eye opener
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and it gives me a lot of satisfaction knowing that there's support out there for
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somebody that really needs it. And I'm glad it's
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me. And I couldn't wish for a better business, to be
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honest.
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Yeah. Are there people out there like you helping
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people like you that help you, if that makes sense. So you, you're part of a chain of
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people. So you're not on your own through this network as well?
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Yes, I am. There's quite a few people that I'm
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with. I'm actually a Trusted partner for a company called Ablepreneurs, so they
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help disabled entrepreneurs build their
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business. I'm also a volunteer and I've just been accepted as partnership for a
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group called FND Friends. They're in the southwest of the uk, so I'll be partnering
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with them and being able to give their community help and
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support. But I also have my own therapy as such, so I have my own talking therapy, I
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have my own physiotherapy. I have a lot of people looking after me now, but I've had
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to work hard to get those people, which is what I don't want for somebody
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else.
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You talked about physiotherapy, so part of it is keeping your muscles
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active, dealing, as you mentioned, your feet point together
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sometimes. It's recognising that and trying to keep yourself physically
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active. You know, the use it or lose it mentality really, isn't
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it? You've got to keep doing things.
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Yeah, absolutely. And it's also about teaching your brain muscle memory and things like
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that. Distraction techniques are really, really good, especially if you feel like
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you're. If you're like me and you get a symptom before a seizure's coming on, you
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do what I call grounding techniques. So you can look around, you can see colours,
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numbers and just say what you see, hear, feel, smell, things like
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that, because it distracts you. Physiotherapy for me has been very hard,
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especially when my feet turn in because it's almost like I'm heading back to where
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I was when it first happened five years ago. And trying to manipulate my feet
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back round to where they should be can sometimes take
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weeks. I think I've only had one episode where they turn back to normal the day
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after and I was really, really happy because that never happened
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before. But it's small wins, small changes every
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day. And that's what my physios taught me. Muscle memory is, is key for
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trying to get your limbs working like they should
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be. But that has been the hardest for me is getting my limbs to do
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that.
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Do you. Do you get an inkling that today is going to be a bad day type
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thing? You think, yeah, I just need to prepare myself for a bad day or a bad
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week.
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Yes. My inkling is a
heavy head. When I wake up, I could have
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eight, nine, ten hours sleep and I'll only feel like I've had
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two. And that for me is huge. I suffer quite bad with
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migraine. Not just last week. I spent four days in a dark room
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because I Just had a horrific headache, but I didn't know that
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headache was coming on. But normally I get a heavy head when I wake
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up. If I feel like I haven't had any sleep, sleep. I'm like, right, okay, today's a low
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day. We're gonna keep it minimal. But that's because I've been taught to listen to my
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body.
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Yeah, the only sort of relative experience I can give you on that
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is that I had issues. My gallbladder, probably about six, seven years
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ago. Actually, no, it's early Covid and I used to get these really bad attacks
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where I'd be on my hands and knees throwing up in the
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toilet. And I get an inkling about 20 minutes before and all of a
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sudden I think it's going to be one of those situations and you get this crescendo of
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pain. Arm going numb and you get pains and then it's shot down
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your arms. And I'd be on my hands and knees, I'd end up being sick into the
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toilet. And all of a sudden it cleared and then I was back to normal
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again. And it was a really strange thing. So I was so glad to have my gallbladder out when it,
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when they took it out. It was instant relief. But yeah, I had probably two or three years
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of this randomness of debilitating pain in my chest
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that always led me to throw up. I couldn't not throw up if you
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like. So, yeah, I kind of get that feeling. And I still suffer now from quite
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bad acid, acid reflux, where I can be just getting on with life all of
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suddenly go, oh, in five minutes time, I'm going to end up this real bad
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pain in my chest. And yet sure enough, it comes and then it'll
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pass. But then you get this ptsd, this post event sort of
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pain where the trauma makes you feel really for five, six hours
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maybe. But that's obviously nowhere near as bad as what you're
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experiencing. But I kind of get that.
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No, but that's your body talking to you. That is your body talking to
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you. The fact that you knew that before it was going to happen, that's your body sending you that
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signal. You've just got to learn to listen.
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Yeah. And I share your frustration that the medical professionals
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just. They give you an mri, they give you a ct, they give you this, they give you
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that, you do the barium swallow, you go through their thing and they go, yeah,
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well, just have to live with it. You go, well, yeah, yeah, really,
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that. Take some Gaviscon and hope for the best. And
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it's. That's the frustration when you realise you're now living with this
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persistent randomness that can hit you at a moment's
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notice.
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Yes, absolutely. And that's really scary to go through life like
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that.
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Yeah. And I think once you. Once you understand the pattern, it's not so
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bad. I think the first few weeks of it, you. You try and you're
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desperately thinking, was it something I ate, Was it the way I was sitting, was it the time of
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day? And you. All these permutations go in your head and there's
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actually. There is no correlation here. It just
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happened.
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Yeah, absolutely. And it's so
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scary.
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Yeah. So you're living in a world and people talk about
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the social model of disability versus the medical model. You must have come across
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a lot of society where you are not the
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problem. It's the environment, it's the service provider, it's the way that you're not
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catered for. It's the issue what, what things that kind of surprised you the most with that difficult
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one.
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So because of my symptoms are not day to day, they're not the same every
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day. I can. Let's say, example, I've been on hikes,
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okay. I'm. I'm able, when I'm having good days, to do the things that I
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enjoy that I used to do. So I go on hikes with my partner and we climb the Pen y
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Fan in Wales. And it's not a massively high mountain, let's say,
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technically, if I was a whale person, it probably
would have taken me an
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hour, but it took me nearly three hours to do it, so I was up and back down and
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I put it on social media. My achievement, because I've always wanted to
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climb the Pen y Fan, always. And I got a lot of criticism for
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it. I got a lot of. But you don't look sick. I thought you were
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poorly. I thought you couldn't walk. You know, a lot of people
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criticising the fact that I had done it. What they didn't see was the three
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days afterwards of me recovering in bed. Constant tiredness, my bones
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aching, all of my joints aching, my feet turning in, unbelievably, not
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being able to walk, just the struggle for three solid days
391
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afterwards. So, I mean, the phrase you don't look sick comes up a hell of a
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lot for me. I deal with that a lot in the
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public. I have my sunflower lanyard. Just the other day on the train, I
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scanned my ticket and the gentleman on there was, oh, I need to See your
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disabled rail card? So I showed it to him and he just looked at me up and down
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and he was like, right, okay, and just walked
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away. So it differs. You can get some good receptives, you can get some
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bad, but you've just got to remain calm in it all the time and just remember
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that they're not seeing what goes on behind closed
400
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doors. I don't look sick. I don't look sick even
401
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now. But what you're not seeing behind closed doors is how overwhelmed I
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am, how tired I am and also how excited I am because it's not always
403
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shown.
404
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You'd think in 2026 we as a society would have come a long way or
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far enough to understand that. What does not sick look
406
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like? You know, what does having a disability look like, sound like, feel
407
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like? It's where. Why do we need to rush to judgement and
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have an opinion on someone's ability or lack of ability and then
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say, well, you're not, you're not disabled enough. You know, what does that
410
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mean?
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It's difficult because, I mean, we've all probably done it through our
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life. We've seen someone park in a disabled bay at a supermarket and watch them get out of the car
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because you're looking for their disability. It's almost like you're looking for
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confirmation that that person has a right to use that parking
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space. I don't know what looking sick looks like to other
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people. It's difficult. Everybody has their own opinion on what
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makes you look sick. You can have somebody with cancer who looks normal, you know,
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looks perfectly healthy, just probably looks a bit tired, but they could be inside
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absolutely in excruciating pain and
420
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everything. You know, it depends on that individual
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themselves. But it's a question I ask quite a lot. What does that looking sick look like
422
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to you?
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And also, I think under the definition of being diagnosed with a
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disability, it has to be a condition that persists for a year or more,
425
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doesn't it? It can't be a short term. My wife recently had a total
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knee replacement and she couldn't walk effectively or, well,
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00:28:12.750 --> 00:28:17.390
for best part, two or three months. But she didn't qualify for a temporary
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disabled badge because she wasn't disabled under the definition of being free
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year. And we struggled. You know, there were places at times where I couldn't park so that she
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could go shopping or get out of the car. She was using a stick at the
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time. So there's a hierarchy here of
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being not long
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term. And I always think there should be a consideration for people who are going through
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a recovery process where they have the same needs as somebody with long term disabilities
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but need to support in the short term. And that's a
436
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very. Quite a frustration that I felt just being a carer for my wife for
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those two or three months during that recovery
438
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phase.
439
00:29:01.300 --> 00:29:06.100
Yeah, I believe that's absolutely true. There should be something, especially with something
440
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like knee or hip operations. It's something that you are going to be disabled
441
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for a period of time, but unfortunately a disability is only something that's
442
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classed as over 12 months, like you said. Do you think that does need
to be
443
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addressed? Definitely, yeah.
444
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Because I did inquire at the council whether we could get a temporary badge and they said no, under the
445
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Equality Act, we're not obliged. So it's almost like they're using the Equality Act as the
446
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justification where they could have said, yeah, we understand that you've got a doctor's note, we
447
00:29:35.535 --> 00:29:40.524
can see you've had that done. Yeah, here's a temporary badge for you, because each council could do it
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if they want to. The disability scheme, I understand, is run by each council, not central
449
00:29:44.920 --> 00:29:49.553
government. So everybody can make discretionary effort here and to support people, but they
450
00:29:49.553 --> 00:29:49.900
don't.
451
00:29:49.900 --> 00:29:53.020
Absolutely, absolutely. And it's wrong that they don't. It really
452
00:29:53.020 --> 00:29:56.900
is. You shouldn't have to fight for it, especially someone that can barely
453
00:29:56.900 --> 00:30:01.580
walk. You know, I've seen it where the council have had
454
00:30:01.580 --> 00:30:06.500
somebody in a wheelchair go back to work and it's like, how are
455
00:30:06.500 --> 00:30:11.220
they supposed to do that? You know, there's no accessible things for them during their job
456
00:30:11.300 --> 00:30:14.740
and it's just not a possibility. You know what I
457
00:30:14.740 --> 00:30:19.500
mean? You go from somebody who can do a job, say, kneeling down and they have knee
458
00:30:19.500 --> 00:30:23.180
operation, that's all right. They can just go back to work and it's like, well, hang
459
00:30:23.180 --> 00:30:28.140
on. No, they can't. They've just had knee operation, you know, there needs to be something in place, I do believe,
460
00:30:28.140 --> 00:30:31.220
for the short term, for people going through something like
461
00:30:31.220 --> 00:30:31.780
that. I agree.
462
00:30:34.470 --> 00:30:39.390
I mean, so it's just little things like getting in and out of a car, you know, being able to bend
463
00:30:39.390 --> 00:30:43.830
your knee to such that you can actually hook it out, in and out of the door, that
464
00:30:43.830 --> 00:30:46.630
it's. Once you're in the car, it's fine. Once you're out of the car, it's
465
00:30:46.630 --> 00:30:51.030
fine. But that transition to standing up, to sitting down, you say kneeling down,
466
00:30:51.270 --> 00:30:55.830
bending over and even just getting used to being able to walk
467
00:30:56.870 --> 00:31:01.650
without, because it offers your gait, doesn't it, you're putting your pressure on your hips in a different
468
00:31:01.650 --> 00:31:06.570
way, you're leaning differently. My wife suffered some strains and
469
00:31:06.570 --> 00:31:08.930
pulls to her back because she wasn't walking in the same
470
00:31:08.930 --> 00:31:13.090
alignment. There's a whole load of factors. It's not just the knee, it's holistic again,
471
00:31:13.090 --> 00:31:17.810
isn't? We talked about holistic well being and the hospital
472
00:31:17.890 --> 00:31:22.810
said, yep, it's done, it's stitched up, look after it, put some cream on it, take the bandages
473
00:31:22.810 --> 00:31:26.860
off after two weeks and then get on with life. Okay, right, great, thank
474
00:31:26.860 --> 00:31:27.100
you.
475
00:31:28.060 --> 00:31:31.380
That's it. That's it. That's. That's pretty much what happens all the
476
00:31:31.380 --> 00:31:35.700
time. They, they simply think that you can just cope on your own and do things on your
477
00:31:35.700 --> 00:31:39.580
own. You know, if you are a person that lives on their own, that becomes even
478
00:31:39.580 --> 00:31:44.460
harder. It's just, it's not right. And I, I do think that sort of thing does need to
479
00:31:44.460 --> 00:31:48.260
be addressed. They need to relook at the length of time that somebody could be
480
00:31:48.260 --> 00:31:51.220
disabled. I mean, FND is, is put into two
481
00:31:51.220 --> 00:31:55.980
categories. You've got acute and chronic. So acute is where they, it, it
482
00:31:56.360 --> 00:32:01.160
get symptoms, but it doesn't last very long. And chronic, which is the form of FND that I have,
483
00:32:01.240 --> 00:32:06.000
is where it becomes a lifetime. I remember in the early stages, I was told by a
484
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:10.840
neurologist that the numbness down the left side of my body will go after seven days and here I am
485
00:32:10.840 --> 00:32:13.920
five years later, still completely numb down the left side of my
486
00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:18.840
body. But they do, they expect you to go home and do it all yourself without any
487
00:32:18.840 --> 00:32:22.160
help. And I think that's where the NHS is
488
00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:25.200
failing. And I don't specifically blame the NHS for
489
00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:28.780
that. Maybe it's because they haven't got the resources for that or the people for
490
00:32:28.780 --> 00:32:29.940
that. We just don't know.
491
00:32:30.180 --> 00:32:33.300
That is the challenge with chronic versus acute, isn't
492
00:32:33.300 --> 00:32:37.740
it? I think, yes. Chronic is basically, it's your problem, get on with
493
00:32:37.740 --> 00:32:41.860
it. Acute, there's acute medicine, ward, there's dealing with it because
494
00:32:42.900 --> 00:32:46.900
it starts, it ends, whereas chronic, it's just like, well, we don't know what to do with
495
00:32:46.900 --> 00:32:50.300
you. We can't keep looking after you forever. You just have to go on and manage it
496
00:32:50.300 --> 00:32:52.980
yourself. And that's where you are now with the chronic, isn't it?
497
00:32:53.460 --> 00:32:58.430
Yeah. So that's pretty much it. I mean, I had my last appointment with my neurologist last
498
00:32:58.430 --> 00:33:03.390
year and he was, he was quite abrupt with it, but he said to
499
00:33:03.390 --> 00:33:07.190
me, there's literally nothing else we can do for you. We have done everything for
500
00:33:07.190 --> 00:33:12.110
you. And I was like, okay, so I'm supposed to just go home and just live with
501
00:33:12.110 --> 00:33:16.830
this and deal with it myself? And he was like, yeah, pretty much, there's nothing more we can
502
00:33:16.830 --> 00:33:21.710
do. You've had talking therapy, you've had physiotherapy. And it actually turns out that when I
503
00:33:21.710 --> 00:33:26.510
went back to my GP with that, they referred me to a clinic called the Rosa Burden
504
00:33:26.510 --> 00:33:31.450
Centre. Now they specialise in fnd and I'm now on the waiting list to be
505
00:33:31.450 --> 00:33:36.210
put in with them for three weeks to learn how to deal with my symptoms and
506
00:33:36.450 --> 00:33:41.250
how to face them and cope. So it turns out there actually is something else that can be
507
00:33:41.250 --> 00:33:45.650
done. It just means three weeks inside a hospital, but you're learning
508
00:33:46.290 --> 00:33:50.690
about fnd, you're learning about the triggers, you're learning about coping
509
00:33:50.690 --> 00:33:54.850
mechanisms and everything else. So, you know, this was
510
00:33:54.850 --> 00:33:58.980
a. A specialist consultant told me, no, nothing more we can
511
00:33:58.980 --> 00:34:02.820
do. And then within two weeks, I had a referral to the Rosa Burden
512
00:34:02.820 --> 00:34:03.100
Centre.
513
00:34:03.180 --> 00:34:06.380
So, again, is this the problem with our healthcare
514
00:34:06.380 --> 00:34:09.740
professionals? They've got their playbook, they've got their
515
00:34:10.060 --> 00:34:13.340
parameters. This is what we can do. If
516
00:34:13.340 --> 00:34:18.100
we. You're the extent of where we are. If you need to go something else, you're going to have to go outside of what
517
00:34:18.100 --> 00:34:22.980
we. But there's no signposting, there's no. Actually, what we should do now
518
00:34:22.980 --> 00:34:27.940
is you step out of the NHS into the private sector and this is your new
519
00:34:27.940 --> 00:34:30.780
pathway and the baton passes over to somebody
520
00:34:30.780 --> 00:34:31.140
else.
521
00:34:31.940 --> 00:34:36.784
Yes, that's how it should be. Absolutely. And that should have been done probably on
522
00:34:36.784 --> 00:34:40.177
the day that I was sent home, rather than a few years down the
523
00:34:40.177 --> 00:34:45.019
line. But like I said, my partner is absolutely relentless when it comes to research
524
00:34:45.019 --> 00:34:50.002
and he was the one that found the Rosa Burden Centre. And I believe there's one in London
525
00:34:50.002 --> 00:34:53.807
as well. I don't know what that one's called, but I believe there's
526
00:34:53.807 --> 00:34:58.650
a. A centre in London where you go in to stay and they teach you about your symptoms and
527
00:34:58.650 --> 00:35:01.350
they teach you how to cope, they teach you about
528
00:35:01.350 --> 00:35:06.332
triggers. And
I've heard a lot of positive stories coming out of the Rosa Burden Centre
529
00:35:06.332 --> 00:35:11.315
through others who have been in, said it was a life changing experience and they manage
530
00:35:11.315 --> 00:35:14.566
their symptoms a lot better. So there is further help out
531
00:35:14.566 --> 00:35:18.925
there. You've just really got to know where to look. And I think this is where
532
00:35:18.925 --> 00:35:23.629
healthcare needs to be educated on that situation. And like I said, get to it at the
533
00:35:23.629 --> 00:35:27.228
beginning rather than three quarters of the way down the line,
534
00:35:27.228 --> 00:35:27.560
yeah.
535
00:35:28.200 --> 00:35:32.943
I think when my mother in law went through her, she was eventually diagnosed with
536
00:35:32.943 --> 00:35:37.685
dementia, probably vascular dementia as a result of some blood loss and some low
537
00:35:37.685 --> 00:35:42.428
blood pressure at one point. And she went through this real phase where we didn't
538
00:35:42.428 --> 00:35:45.258
recognise who she was, she was completely out of
539
00:35:45.258 --> 00:35:48.869
character. But nobody was saying to us about these different
540
00:35:48.869 --> 00:35:53.327
symptoms. And there was. She used to get really bad symptoms at twilight and
541
00:35:53.327 --> 00:35:57.505
apparently there's something called sundowning which we didn't know
542
00:35:57.505 --> 00:36:02.390
about. And my father was in nursing home and he had a bad reaction to antibiotics and
543
00:36:02.390 --> 00:36:07.345
an infection and he started getting. Becoming delirious and reacting differently
544
00:36:07.345 --> 00:36:10.955
sort of to venture like symptoms. And nobody prepares you for
545
00:36:10.955 --> 00:36:15.912
this. No one says this is what it is. You're sitting there as a family member watching
546
00:36:15.912 --> 00:36:19.097
your loved one turn into a completely different human
547
00:36:19.097 --> 00:36:24.055
being. And if someone said to us, oh yeah, this is what's known as sundowning, this is
548
00:36:24.055 --> 00:36:28.728
what's known as a reaction due to this, that your loved one is going to react like
549
00:36:28.728 --> 00:36:31.985
this, don't worry about it, it will pass or it will be the
550
00:36:31.985 --> 00:36:36.659
situation. There's no signposting. I often said at the time what we need in this
551
00:36:36.659 --> 00:36:40.625
country or maybe other places in the world, I call it a personal care
552
00:36:40.625 --> 00:36:44.095
manager. So someone's allocated to you to be your joined up
553
00:36:44.095 --> 00:36:47.067
process. So that they say, okay, we'll dip you into
554
00:36:47.067 --> 00:36:50.110
this. Now we're pulling you out of that, dip you into
555
00:36:50.110 --> 00:36:55.065
that. Because otherwise every time you move between the service, you get dropped on
556
00:36:55.065 --> 00:36:59.808
the floor and you either have to pick yourself up or you have to find someone who's
557
00:36:59.808 --> 00:37:04.693
prepared to reach in. There's no continuity. And I think the personal care manager
558
00:37:04.693 --> 00:37:09.578
in my idea was this person would be assigned to you for your lifetime, if you like, or
559
00:37:09.578 --> 00:37:14.533
this role would be assigned to you. So you've always got someone you can dip in and dip
560
00:37:14.533 --> 00:37:17.576
out of and then they would do the signposting and the
561
00:37:17.576 --> 00:37:18.355
enablement.
562
00:37:19.100 --> 00:37:24.020
That's it. Exactly. And that's the thing you hit the nail on the head with being dropped in that
563
00:37:24.020 --> 00:37:28.980
gap. It's so hard for people to pick you back up or for you to find
564
00:37:28.980 --> 00:37:33.940
somebody to pick you back up and you find yourself saying the same things over and
565
00:37:33.940 --> 00:37:38.890
over and over again. And in the end you only seem to get help when people
566
00:37:38.890 --> 00:37:43.690
have had enough from hearing from you. It's not a case of oh yeah, we really want to help, it's
567
00:37:44.250 --> 00:37:49.170
this person again, we really need to get them off our backs and that's when they Go, well, why don't you
568
00:37:49.170 --> 00:37:53.850
try this? This is this. And that's. It's an awful situation, but that is the reality of
569
00:37:53.850 --> 00:37:54.089
it.
570
00:37:54.089 --> 00:37:58.650
I want to say right at the beginning that I would like to be looked after
571
00:37:59.130 --> 00:38:04.050
in the way you'll look after me when I get angry. How about we skip the getting angry
572
00:38:04.050 --> 00:38:08.190
bit and you just do what you would do before I get angry rather than after I get
573
00:38:08.190 --> 00:38:08.550
angry.
574
00:38:09.190 --> 00:38:11.190
Yeah, that is it. Exactly.
575
00:38:11.190 --> 00:38:11.990
That's the frustration.
576
00:38:12.550 --> 00:38:16.750
Yeah, yeah. I've lost count the amount of times that I got angry with healthcare
577
00:38:16.750 --> 00:38:17.390
professionals.
578
00:38:17.390 --> 00:38:22.070
Lost count, yeah. And you just want them to do what they
579
00:38:22.070 --> 00:38:24.910
did, but without getting angry. That's all you
580
00:38:24.910 --> 00:38:27.830
need. You know that somewhere.
581
00:38:29.110 --> 00:38:31.870
Yeah. If there was a solution, why didn't you give it to me in the first place?
582
00:38:31.870 --> 00:38:36.261
Yeah, yeah. Why did I have to get stressy? Why did my wellbeing have to
583
00:38:36.261 --> 00:38:39.882
suffer? Why did I have to go home every night feeling like
584
00:38:39.882 --> 00:38:44.738
this? And that's the frustration, because you end up getting angry because
585
00:38:44.738 --> 00:38:48.900
you know, if you keep pushing, the solution is there, but there's
586
00:38:48.900 --> 00:38:53.832
no. There's. Yeah, there's none of this continuity where someone's going to
587
00:38:53.832 --> 00:38:57.222
go, yes, we can do that, like signposting what you're
588
00:38:57.222 --> 00:39:02.077
after. There must be an index. I mean, I'm hoping that AI and technology will
589
00:39:02.077 --> 00:39:06.855
help because it'd be much easier to get onto your phone, type in, there's my
590
00:39:06.855 --> 00:39:09.937
symptoms, and I just say, that's it. What can I do
591
00:39:09.937 --> 00:39:14.792
next? And then hopefully AI or technology will be your care manager enables
592
00:39:14.792 --> 00:39:19.647
you to signpost yourself or someone develop an app for it where you can check
593
00:39:19.647 --> 00:39:22.421
yourself in and it will take you through the
594
00:39:22.421 --> 00:39:23.038
pathway.
595
00:39:23.860 --> 00:39:25.260
Yeah, that would be handy.
596
00:39:25.260 --> 00:39:30.120
Yeah. Yeah. So you mentioned the fact that you've got a numbness in your left
597
00:39:30.120 --> 00:39:34.840
hand side. How is it to the point where is it just
598
00:39:34.840 --> 00:39:39.680
numbness but you could still use it, you just don't know. You just got a lack of feeling, is
599
00:39:39.680 --> 00:39:40.000
it?
600
00:39:40.720 --> 00:39:45.000
Yeah. So to start with, it was I couldn't move the left side at
601
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.880
all. But now, through physiotherapy, I've learned that I
602
00:39:49.880 --> 00:39:52.880
still have to see what I'm doing, but I can still do normal
603
00:39:52.880 --> 00:39:57.510
things. The only thing I don't really do too much is the cooking and the
604
00:39:57.660 --> 00:40:01.060
kitchen because I burnt my arm on the left
605
00:40:01.060 --> 00:40:04.740
side. I've cut myself numerous times cutting vegetables and things like
606
00:40:04.740 --> 00:40:09.660
that. So it's kind of been a risk assessment done with an occupational therapist
607
00:40:09.660 --> 00:40:14.540
so that I can't do things in the kitchen myself other People have to do it for me or I have to do
608
00:40:14.540 --> 00:40:18.060
it supervised. So it is complete numbness. It's almost. It's not like
609
00:40:18.060 --> 00:40:20.260
tingling. It's like when you have a local
610
00:40:20.260 --> 00:40:23.820
anaesthetic. It's there, but I can't feel
611
00:40:23.820 --> 00:40:27.500
it. But like I said, if. When I'm walking, I have to look at my
612
00:40:27.500 --> 00:40:32.420
feet. I can't look up and look straight. I have to look at my feet to make sure I know where I'm
613
00:40:32.420 --> 00:40:37.260
stepping. If I pick something up, I've got to watch it because I don't know the strength of my own hand,
614
00:40:37.580 --> 00:40:40.740
because I can't feel it. Yeah, it's complete
615
00:40:40.740 --> 00:40:44.380
numbness. And it's almost like somebody's drawn a line right down
616
00:40:45.660 --> 00:40:50.060
my body, the centre of my body and the left side. There's no feeling at all from your
617
00:40:50.060 --> 00:40:51.180
ears to your toes.
618
00:40:51.900 --> 00:40:52.740
Nothing at all.
619
00:40:52.740 --> 00:40:57.630
Wow. So it's a bit. It's definitely like going to the dentist, having an injection and
620
00:40:57.630 --> 00:41:01.790
then trying to eat a sandwich when you get home. It's. You can't do
621
00:41:01.790 --> 00:41:02.070
it.
622
00:41:02.950 --> 00:41:07.830
No. No. There's a lot of things I can't do, but anything I do, I have to watch what
623
00:41:07.830 --> 00:41:12.430
I'm doing, otherwise it doesn't happen. I don't know how many times I've gone to pick up a
624
00:41:12.430 --> 00:41:16.990
bottle and I've missed it or I've knocked it over because I've not watched what I'm
625
00:41:16.990 --> 00:41:20.150
doing. But as long as I can see, I'm
626
00:41:20.150 --> 00:41:20.470
fine.
627
00:41:20.470 --> 00:41:23.830
So your eyelids. You must chomp on the inside of your
628
00:41:23.990 --> 00:41:26.390
cheeks. Do you, with your. You bite into yourself?
629
00:41:26.950 --> 00:41:29.710
Yes. Quite a lot. Quite a lot. I draw blood quite a lot as
630
00:41:29.710 --> 00:41:29.950
well.
631
00:41:29.950 --> 00:41:34.070
I was just trying to contemplate that. And the realisation is that
632
00:41:34.070 --> 00:41:37.630
it's. That's a lifelong condition as well. It's not a transient
633
00:41:37.630 --> 00:41:37.990
thing.
634
00:41:38.630 --> 00:41:41.510
No. And that's the thing I was told would come back within seven
635
00:41:41.510 --> 00:41:41.830
days.
636
00:41:43.190 --> 00:41:48.024
I had a viral infection in my inner ear, or this is what they hypothesised
637
00:41:48.024 --> 00:41:51.974
probably about 10, 15 years ago, where I woke up one day and I
638
00:41:51.974 --> 00:41:56.166
was. I said I was deaf. I wasn't deaf. I became extremely hard of
639
00:41:56.166 --> 00:42:00.839
hearing. My hearing reduced by 80 or 90%. I had to have subtitles on the
640
00:42:00.839 --> 00:42:03.823
telly. I had to really listen to people. And I
641
00:42:03.823 --> 00:42:08.659
just. I went to the doctor and he said, well, it would just clear up within
642
00:42:08.659 --> 00:42:11.963
six weeks to 12 weeks and nothing we could do about
643
00:42:11.963 --> 00:42:16.960
it. And I was kind of. I got used to this idea that I was living in this muffled
644
00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:21.232
world. It was like I had noise-cancelling headphones on all the
645
00:42:21.232 --> 00:42:25.828
time. And I was quite, in a way it was quite comical because I had young
646
00:42:25.828 --> 00:42:30.502
children at the time and they were watching me watch the telly with the
647
00:42:30.502 --> 00:42:35.338
subtitles and they go, hey, you can't. Yeah. And I was out with my friends
648
00:42:35.338 --> 00:42:40.255
and we were sort of joking about it and I was, I suppose, because I believed
649
00:42:40.255 --> 00:42:43.962
at the time it would clear itself within. Just had to sit
650
00:42:43.962 --> 00:42:48.960
out. It became a bit of a joke. Fortunately, I woke up one day and I went, wow,
651
00:42:48.960 --> 00:42:53.873
my hearing's back. Wow. And it literally was, it went away and it came back
652
00:42:53.873 --> 00:42:58.708
over and it was about six to 12 weeks and I don't know what I would have done
653
00:42:58.708 --> 00:43:01.770
had it not come back. Maybe I'd have got used to
654
00:43:01.770 --> 00:43:06.363
it. But yeah, I know what you mean by this. Having to reorientate your
655
00:43:06.363 --> 00:43:11.361
entire life around this change. I actually had people tell me that I wasn't
656
00:43:11.361 --> 00:43:16.198
really deaf. I just had a hearing impairment because it wasn't terrible
657
00:43:16.198 --> 00:43:19.100
because I wasn't completely deaf. Hang on a
658
00:43:19.100 --> 00:43:23.290
minute. I think, is it an 80% degradation of hearing it classes
659
00:43:23.290 --> 00:43:26.272
deafness? I was definitely 80%. Definitely
660
00:43:26.272 --> 00:43:28.360
80%. I could barely hear. Yeah.
661
00:43:28.680 --> 00:43:31.119
So that must have been quite scary
662
00:43:31.119 --> 00:43:32.280
people judgmental, aren't they?
663
00:43:32.840 --> 00:43:35.320
Yeah, they are, absolutely. But they're not living in.
664
00:43:36.760 --> 00:43:41.480
No, I think it wasn't, it wasn't. I was chairing a board of directors at the
665
00:43:41.480 --> 00:43:46.250
time. During that, during that phase, I remember we had a board meeting and we decided to go to
666
00:43:46.250 --> 00:43:51.210
zero to Switzerland to have the board meeting because we could, you know, we decided to have an away weekend stay in a, in
667
00:43:51.210 --> 00:43:55.650
a chalet and had a, had a weekend long retreat in a chalet in
668
00:43:55.650 --> 00:44:00.570
Switzerland. And I remember I couldn't hear and I was trying to chair this meeting and the
669
00:44:00.570 --> 00:44:05.010
people around the table and we were just laughing at each other because it was so comical
670
00:44:05.890 --> 00:44:10.770
and I shouldn't joke about it, but at the time it was funny. I treated it as a, as a thing
671
00:44:11.010 --> 00:44:15.990
that was humorous because I, I, I, I, I guess the gravitate, the gravity of it didn't sink in at the time,
672
00:44:16.070 --> 00:44:20.070
but I was chairing this board meeting and, and I said, look, this sounds
673
00:44:20.070 --> 00:44:23.190
crazy. I have absolutely no idea what you just said. Can we do that
674
00:44:23.190 --> 00:44:28.110
again? And having to repeat themselves all the time. And yeah, it was, I got,
675
00:44:28.110 --> 00:44:30.870
I got the best night's sleep ever. Cause I, I couldn't hear anything.
676
00:44:30.950 --> 00:44:31.990
Yeah, I bet you did.
677
00:44:32.790 --> 00:44:37.502
Yeah. But I mean I, I'm, I'm 61 years old. 61 and a half years old and I, I
678
00:44:37.502 --> 00:44:41.223
think it's hard to go through life without having some
679
00:44:41.223 --> 00:44:46.101
stories. Maybe I'm not unlucky or I've had some stories where I've got a
680
00:44:46.101 --> 00:44:50.814
lot of empathy for where you are. Obviously not the long term chronic
681
00:44:50.814 --> 00:44:55.609
condition you're managing at the moment, but I've been a dip in and dip
682
00:44:55.609 --> 00:45:00.237
out of the world you live in and had some experience of it being acute
683
00:45:00.237 --> 00:45:05.031
rather than chronic. And certainly seeing my father, my mother in law
684
00:45:05.031 --> 00:45:09.660
and, and even my mother who is now 87 going through that stage of life
685
00:45:09.660 --> 00:45:13.545
where she started to slow down. She needs more help, more
686
00:45:13.545 --> 00:45:18.008
support. Three years ago she could just go for a walk and we walked
687
00:45:18.008 --> 00:45:22.059
around. Now she's saying, I need to sit down, I can't do this
688
00:45:22.059 --> 00:45:27.019
anymore. But to have that at your age, and I don't want to judge how old you
689
00:45:27.019 --> 00:45:29.995
are, but you're certainly not in your later
690
00:45:29.995 --> 00:45:34.872
life. You're still in that prime zone of your life life trying to come to
691
00:45:34.872 --> 00:45:36.029
terms with this.
692
00:45:36.510 --> 00:45:39.030
It's life changing. Absolutely is life changing.
693
00:45:39.030 --> 00:45:43.350
But you're happy, you're happy in a, in your life changed, aren't
694
00:45:43.350 --> 00:45:45.710
you? You've got a lot of life to live.
695
00:45:46.510 --> 00:45:50.510
I am, yes. Yeah. I make the most of, of what I got on my energy
696
00:45:50.510 --> 00:45:54.630
days. I always make note of how I feel in the morning and that will determine my
697
00:45:54.630 --> 00:45:59.390
day. But I think because I've come to terms with the fact that this is me now, this is my life,
698
00:46:00.350 --> 00:46:05.190
all I can do now is pass my experience and wisdom onto others and hope
699
00:46:05.190 --> 00:46:07.750
that it helps them so. And that makes me very
700
00:46:07.750 --> 00:46:08.190
happy.
701
00:46:08.190 --> 00:46:11.910
So the experience and wisdom you pass on, what is that? What does that look
702
00:46:11.910 --> 00:46:16.470
like? What is the wisdom you're telling people when they're faced with
703
00:46:16.470 --> 00:46:18.510
this? My life has changed.
704
00:46:21.230 --> 00:46:23.390
How do you make that sound less bad?
705
00:46:25.230 --> 00:46:29.950
It depends on the situation, obviously. But it's a little bit like taking
706
00:46:30.110 --> 00:46:34.730
every day as it comes, taking small steps, trying to guide people into not
707
00:46:34.730 --> 00:46:39.690
pushing themselves too far. I say the main thing that the hardest thing that I learned was accepting
708
00:46:39.690 --> 00:46:44.570
the fact that I had a disability. So I can't sit there and say to somebody, you need to accept this,
709
00:46:44.650 --> 00:46:49.130
your old life is gone. Because I know when I was told that it really
710
00:46:49.130 --> 00:46:53.450
upset me. So basically it's just a case of supporting them emotionally
711
00:46:54.010 --> 00:46:58.480
and any questions they ask, being able to answer them to the full of my
712
00:46:58.480 --> 00:47:02.360
ability. And like I said, it depends on people's different experiences
713
00:47:02.360 --> 00:47:07.200
themselves. Anyone that's even slightly similar to Me, I'll give them the advice that I
714
00:47:07.200 --> 00:47:10.680
had and I give them what I do on a daily
715
00:47:10.680 --> 00:47:15.360
basis. I share my life quite, quite a lot with my clients and they're more than
716
00:47:15.360 --> 00:47:20.120
happy to hear the good days and the bad days. But I think it helps coming from somebody
717
00:47:20.120 --> 00:47:24.920
who has lived it themself and who does things like they do,
718
00:47:24.920 --> 00:47:29.440
like cancel appointments, not socialise, because they don't
719
00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:33.620
feel. Feel up to it and not feeling guilty for it. My biggest
720
00:47:34.740 --> 00:47:38.660
message to people is to work with your energy, not against
721
00:47:38.740 --> 00:47:40.700
it. That was the biggest thing for me.
722
00:47:40.700 --> 00:47:44.020
So if you're having one of those days, you're having one of those days. Don't fight
723
00:47:44.020 --> 00:47:47.620
it. No. You're not feeling it. Come back
724
00:47:47.620 --> 00:47:48.100
tomorrow.
725
00:47:48.580 --> 00:47:51.860
No. And don't feel guilty for it. Don't feel guilty for not doing
726
00:47:51.860 --> 00:47:52.180
it.
727
00:47:52.180 --> 00:47:52.980
Are you brave?
728
00:47:53.060 --> 00:47:55.820
I've been told I'm brave. I don't always feel like I
729
00:47:55.820 --> 00:48:00.800
am. I do feel like a burden quite a lot. But I have been told by quite a
730
00:48:00.800 --> 00:48:05.120
few people that I am brave, especially for starting my own business in my
731
00:48:05.120 --> 00:48:07.920
condition. So, yeah, 50. 50.
732
00:48:08.080 --> 00:48:11.680
I always find it's a very tricky thing, isn't
733
00:48:11.680 --> 00:48:16.480
it? People give you that label of braveness, even though you
734
00:48:16.480 --> 00:48:19.200
don't necessarily identify as brave
735
00:48:19.200 --> 00:48:19.760
yourself.
736
00:48:20.480 --> 00:48:25.040
Yeah, I definitely don't feel brave. I just. I see myself as just
737
00:48:25.040 --> 00:48:28.910
somebody that can. That can help others and that's what life's
738
00:48:28.910 --> 00:48:32.310
about. It's about helping other people. It's about giving yourself that
739
00:48:33.110 --> 00:48:35.510
wellbeing. Knowing that you've helped somebody.
740
00:48:35.510 --> 00:48:38.230
Permission to cry if you need to is fine, isn't it?
741
00:48:39.510 --> 00:48:41.270
Absolutely. Absolutely.
742
00:48:41.270 --> 00:48:44.110
I think. I think that's the brave thing, isn't
743
00:48:44.110 --> 00:48:49.070
it? The brave thing is allowing yourself to be at one with how you feel,
744
00:48:49.070 --> 00:48:50.350
your emotions and.
745
00:48:50.350 --> 00:48:53.950
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
746
00:48:54.110 --> 00:48:54.830
absolutely.
747
00:48:54.830 --> 00:48:58.750
You have to grieve, you have to. You
have to say, this isn't
748
00:48:58.750 --> 00:49:02.150
fair. I feel aggrieved. I feel that
749
00:49:02.150 --> 00:49:06.830
I've. I've. I've had something taken away from me that I thought was my right and
750
00:49:06.830 --> 00:49:11.710
my. And my whole life has panned out and I'm allowed to be angry, I'm allowed to be upset, I'm allowed
751
00:49:11.710 --> 00:49:12.190
to cry.
752
00:49:13.070 --> 00:49:13.750
Yeah, absolutely.
753
00:49:13.750 --> 00:49:16.030
But I'm also allowed to get up again. I'm allowed to get up again.
754
00:49:16.750 --> 00:49:19.510
That's it. Exactly. And I'm a big believer in
755
00:49:19.510 --> 00:49:19.870
that.
756
00:49:20.190 --> 00:49:20.910
You. You.
757
00:49:20.910 --> 00:49:25.270
Things happen for a reason. And I think that my stroke, like,
758
00:49:25.270 --> 00:49:28.950
episode was my reason to create wellness without
759
00:49:28.950 --> 00:49:29.470
barriers.
760
00:49:31.550 --> 00:49:34.750
And now you do so much good using your. Your
761
00:49:34.750 --> 00:49:39.390
bravery. If you want Your superpower to inspire others
762
00:49:39.550 --> 00:49:42.990
and, and give it and give people hope. Because that's the important thing is it is
763
00:49:42.990 --> 00:49:44.750
hope. That's what you need. Can't fathom.
764
00:49:44.750 --> 00:49:45.630
That's it exactly.
765
00:49:45.790 --> 00:49:48.440
No, you need to hope that tomorrow is going to be
766
00:49:48.440 --> 00:49:48.920
okay.
767
00:49:49.560 --> 00:49:52.240
That's it. That is it exactly. Hit the nail on the head there,
768
00:49:52.240 --> 00:49:52.840
Gemma.
769
00:49:53.240 --> 00:49:57.330
Thank you so much for sharing your story. How can people get hold of you? I'm sure people would love to find out
770
00:49:57.330 --> 00:49:57.557
more.
771
00:49:58.520 --> 00:50:02.520
Okay, so I am on LinkedIn under Gemma Davies on
772
00:50:02.520 --> 00:50:07.480
LinkedIn. You can find me on there. And I've got a really nice banner on there with Wellness Without Barriers
773
00:50:07.480 --> 00:50:12.200
written on it. I also have a Facebook page called Wellness Without Barriers and I have my
774
00:50:12.200 --> 00:50:16.040
website, so. www.wellnesswithoutbarriers.co.uk
775
00:50:16.040 --> 00:50:16.640
Fantastic.
776
00:50:16.640 --> 00:50:21.341
I'll put all the links to those in show notes and I'm sure people will be in contact with
777
00:50:21.341 --> 00:50:25.843
you. If you are listening to this, please do make contact with Gemma and don't tell
778
00:50:25.843 --> 00:50:30.281
her. She's brave. Just listen to her story and find out more about how you can help
779
00:50:30.281 --> 00:50:35.247
others. Or if you yourself feel that you know somebody or you or personally affected, then
780
00:50:35.247 --> 00:50:40.080
reach out to Gemma. I'm sure you'd be more than willing to have a conversation, wouldn't
781
00:50:40.080 --> 00:50:40.340
you?
782
00:50:40.900 --> 00:50:42.300
More than willing, Absolutely.
783
00:50:42.300 --> 00:50:43.300
Gemma, thank you.
784
00:50:43.950 --> 00:50:45.230
Thank you very much for having me.
785
00:50:46.830 --> 00:50:51.510
As we bring this conversation to a close, I want to express my deepest
786
00:50:51.510 --> 00:50:56.190
gratitude to you, our listener, for lending your ear and heart
787
00:50:56.590 --> 00:51:00.550
to the cause of inclusion. Today's discussion struck a
788
00:51:00.550 --> 00:51:05.350
chord. Consider subscribing to Inclusion Bites and become part of
789
00:51:05.350 --> 00:51:08.270
our ever growing community driving real
790
00:51:08.270 --> 00:51:10.990
change. Share this journey with friends, family and
791
00:51:10.990 --> 00:51:14.060
colleagues. Colleagues, let's amplify the voices that
792
00:51:14.060 --> 00:51:17.863
matter. Got thoughts, storys or a vision to
793
00:51:17.863 --> 00:51:20.772
share? I'm all ears. Reach out to
794
00:51:20.772 --> 00:51:25.599
joanne.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk and let's make your voice
795
00:51:25.599 --> 00:51:30.176
heard. Until next time, this is Joanne Lockwood signing off with a
796
00:51:30.176 --> 00:51:34.836
promise to return with more enriching narratives that challenge,
797
00:51:34.836 --> 00:51:39.829
inspire and unite us all. Here's to fostering a more inclusive world one
798
00:51:39.829 --> 00:51:42.492
episode at a time. Catch you on the next
799
00:51:42.492 --> 00:51:42.908
bite.