TRASCRIZIONE 🔗
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Announcer: This is
a Getty podcast.
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[Theme music begins]
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Host: Have you ever
felt misunderstood?
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Well, imagine feeling
that way for 240 years.
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Welcome to If Objects Could
Talk, the podcast where art
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and artifacts come alive to
share their side of the story.
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Today, we hear from a
sculpture with a lot on
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his mind, and on his face.
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That’s partially because the
sculpture is mostly face.
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This guest is a bust, meaning
a sculpture of the head and
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neck, sometimes with a bit
of chest and shoulders, too.
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And this particular bust
has an extreme expression.
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Furrowed brow, squinting eyes,
scrunched nose, and a jaw so
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strained [voice groans] it
looks like he’s trying to crack
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a walnut with those teeth.
[nut cracks]
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Ugh, he makes me feel tense
just looking at him.
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He was made by German sculptor
Franz Xaver Messerschmidt
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in the 1770s and ’80s.
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Messerschmidt never gave
him an official name.
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Now, everyone just calls
him “The Vexed Man.”
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[clears throat] I said “The
Vexed Man.” That’s your cue.
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[growly voice with
New York accent speaks]
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The Vexed Man: Yes, all
right, I heard you.
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I was thinking.
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That is what I do.
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Let me get something out
of the way first, since
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apparently no one can look
at me for five seconds
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without making assumptions.
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[Light classical music plays]
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This face, this face,
is not one of anger.
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No, no, no, I am not angry.
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I have not smelled a skunk
[child says “Ew!”] or tasted
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a lemon, [voice says “Ugh”]
nor do I look like I am,
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uh, what do the children
say, “going number two”.
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[toilet flushes] Those children
in Vienna thought that one
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was particularly funny.
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So many children!
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I mean, not as many as I
see now in the gallery, but
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still, a lot of children.
[children chatter]
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Load full transcript
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Even now, children are always
trying to recreate my face.
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[child laughs and
blows raspberry]
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And assuming something
other than the reality.
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The reality is just that I
am thinking, deeply, and I
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would appreciate it if people
could figure that out before
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jumping to conclusions.
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No, I do not need
more fiber in my diet.
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[bite from apple] I am
a sculpture after all.
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[clay crumbling]
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And what does my definitely
not-angry, definitely
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not-pooping face look like?
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The stone skin between the
eyebrows is pushed together
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because my brow is furrowed,
like when you are stuck on a
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very hard homework problem and
your brain is not cooperating.
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[Child says “Hmm.”]
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[Mysterious music plays]
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My eyes squint.
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My nose scrunches.
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My jaw is set.
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My neck and cheek
muscles are tense.
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My hairline is,
uh, receding, yes.
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Oh, why did I say that part?
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This is a podcast!
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You would’ve never known.
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Well, unless you looked
up my photograph.
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Well, never mind.
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There are also natural cracks
running through the alabaster
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that I am carved from.
[cracking stoneware]
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The stone itself has aged and
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settled over the centuries and
turned a touch more yellow.
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The lines in the material
enhance the lines on my face.
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Two and a half centuries.
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I think it suits me. [laughs]
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[Classical music plays]
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I was made during a great
time of intellectual curiosity
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called the Enlightenment Era.
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Should you need to picture
it further, think powdered
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white wigs on men, corsets
and billowing skirts on
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women, heeled shoes on
everyone, and horse-drawn
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carriages for travel.
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[crowd chatter and
horses pulling carriages]
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The Enlightenment was when
people got very serious about
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understanding things: science,
reason, asking questions
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and pursuing the answers.
[crowd chatter]
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Coffee houses,
newspapers, and
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literary salons, places
where people could mingle,
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debate, and share new ideas
flourished during this time.
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It was also a time of social
and political revolution.
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[Star Spangled Banner plays]
In what is now called the
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United States, Thomas Jefferson
and his friends wrote the
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Declaration of Independence
based on the bold new idea
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that people should, uh, have
rights just for being people.
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[Classical music resumes]
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My creator was Franz Xaver
Messerschmidt, a German
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sculptor working in Austria, a
country right next to Germany.
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Messerschmidt was interested
in the idea of looking at
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a person’s expression to
understand something true
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about their inner life.
[voice says “Hmm.”]
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Their feelings,
their character.
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He would stand in front of a
mirror and pull his face into
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the most extreme expressions
he could manage: [voice
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grunting] grimacing, straining,
even howling. [warewolf howl]
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And you, what can your face do?
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Can you scrunch your
nose, cross your eyes,
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and puff out your cheeks?
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Go ahead.
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Try to make the most
extreme face you can think
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of, and do not worry!
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While I might be permanently
stuck this way, your
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grandparents are incorrect.
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If you are not made of
stone, your face won’t
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get stuck like that.
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Yeah.
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Faces are so interesting.
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That is probably why
Messerschmidt, my sculptor,
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made at least 49 of us,
dozens and dozens of character
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heads, as they called us,
all different expressions,
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all feeling something.
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I am, objectively speaking,
very well made, out
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of alabaster, no less.
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Alabaster is a smooth,
almost creamy white stone.
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It is soft enough that a
skilled sculptor can work
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it with wooden hand tools
like chisels and files.
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To make a head like mine,
first you start with a ball of
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alabaster, then you refine it.
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A flat chisel for the broad
planes of the forehead
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and cheeks, smaller
tools for the detail.
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Each pass of the tool removes
a little more material.
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You cannot put it back.
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Every cut is a decision, as soft
alabaster hardens over time.
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Then comes the finishing.
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Alabaster can be polished almost
to a glow [harp chord] with
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increasingly fine abrasives:
sand, then pumice, then cloth.
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The result is that soft, warm
quality you can see in me.
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[Classical violin music plays]
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Oh, Messerschmidt would’ve
worked on a face like mine
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for weeks, months perhaps,
given how much is happening,
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you know, on my face.
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Every wrinkle, every tensed
muscle, every squint and crease
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around the eye had to be carved
deliberately by hand in stone
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that does not forgive mistakes.
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Oh, he was
extraordinarily skilled.
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While he also worked with marble
and bronze, I personally think
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the alabasters were his best.
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[Music ends]
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Many have admired the
craftsmanship that went
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into making my face.
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For a number of years, I was
displayed in Vienna’s amusement
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park, the Prater, [crowd
chatter and carnival music] as
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kind of a sideshow attraction.
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The Prater was a place
to see and be seen.
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Viennese society
strolled and promenaded.
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They rode carousels
and went bowling.
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They experienced the new,
the curious, and the strange.
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And at this time, I was
considered very strange.
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Huh.
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[Spooky, mysterious music plays]
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I was in a room with other
character heads, including the
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Yawner, Childish Weeping, the
Incapable Bassoonist, and, uh,
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um, Afflicted With Constipation.
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[people laugh] Now, I’ll never
understand how people could
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mistake my expression for his.
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Ah, at any rate, visitors
could even buy painted replicas
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of the heads in plaster or
wax as a type of souvenir.
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[child says “Cool!”]
Adults and children passed
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through the booth where
I sat, and without fail,
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someone always acknowledged
my presence by making an
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exaggerated face of their own.
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[children yelling in hallway]
There were the children who
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would stop, look at me, study
me, and then scrunch the
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whole face in one go: brow
down, nose up, eyes squinting.
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My face on their face!
[children laughing]
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Oh.
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Younger children would wobble
over, look at me, and do
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their own version: cheeks
puffed out, mouth twisted.
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Rather committed
to it, actually.
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[baby laughs] Then the silliest
children, they would stick out
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their tongues and cross their
eyes in the exact same way.
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[child blows raspberry] Now,
I cannot raise an eyebrow.
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I cannot smile; I am alabaster.
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But if I could have
laughed, I would have
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laughed every single day.
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Those children sticking their
tongue out, I nearly cracked.
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[laughs] Uh, figuratively
speaking. [rocks crumble]
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Funny thing, isn’t it?
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You can look at a face and be
completely, thoroughly wrong
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about what’s going on inside it.
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Have you ever felt fine
or even happy, but your
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face didn’t show it?
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Have you ever been so wrapped
up in something that someone
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asked if you were all right
and you were, uh, surprised?
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That is what I am talking about.
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Alas, a sculpture is frozen
in one moment, one expression.
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That is all I get.
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But you, you are not
a sculpture, so why
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don’t you loosen up?
[mallet hits a bell]
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But first, let’s get tense.
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Well, like me.
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Scrunch those shoulders up to
your ears, close those eyes
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good and tight, furrow those
brows, and make a face as if
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you need a bathroom right away
and more fiber in your diet.
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Notice your face.
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Yeah, right now.
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Is your brow pushed down?
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Are your teeth pressed
together, your jaw clenched?
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Yes, I can tell.
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Now, let it go.
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[Calm piano music begins]
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Smooth it out.
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How completely and
totally can you relax?
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All right, let’s see if
you can relax even further.
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Try using your breath.
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Breathe in through
your nose slowly.
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Count with me.
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One, two, three, four.
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Hold your breath.
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One, two, three, four.
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And breathe out, through
your mouth, all the way out.
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One, two, three,
four, five, six.
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Let your shoulders drop.
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Let your hands open.
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Let your face just rest.
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Now try one yourself.
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[Music plays]
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There, that wasn’t so
difficult, was it?
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You can do that whenever
you need to, you know.
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Whenever you notice your
face or even your whole body
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tensing up more than you’d
like it to, feeling anxious,
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frustration bubbling up.
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Has someone annoyed
you by bringing up your
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ever-receding hairline again?
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Feel that emotion,
then take a breath.
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Tighten up, and then relax.
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It works, right?
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[Theme music begins]
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Host: I hope you
enjoyed learning about
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alabaster and relaxation.
[voice sighs]
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Join us next time when
an observant griffin
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shares her perspective.
[wings flying]
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To see photographs of The
Vexed Man, visit our website
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at getty dot edu slash IOCT.
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We’ve also got a listening
guide with discussion questions
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and related activities there.
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This episode was written
by Tocarra Elise and
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produced by Zoe Goldman.
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Andy Lipshultz
voiced the sculpture.
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Theme music, mixing, and sound
design by Alexandra Kalinowski.
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Christopher Sprinkle
is executive producer.
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Special thanks to curators
Anne-Lise Desmas and
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Miriam Schefzyk, as
well as Rebekkah Hart.
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These stories are
historical fiction.
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They’re based on historical
facts and deep research,
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but we’ve filled in the
gaps to make a good story.
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If you have questions about
what you’ve heard, write to us
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at podteam at getty dot edu.
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Catch you next time!