TRASCRIZIONE 🔗
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Welcome everyone to Bitches in Heat, a podcast where middle-aged hotties bitch about perimetaphors, metaphors, and the shit that surrounds it.
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Also, hotties, there will be swearing.
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So maybe wear headphones or go in a different room if you've got kiddos and sensitive ears.
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But do grab a glass of your favorite beverage besties.
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I'm Marnie.
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I'm Dom.
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And today we are talking about, or should I say, bitching about perimenopausal rage.
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Yes! Oh my goodness.
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I just want to be clear, we are not medical professionals and our advice should not be construed as such.
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So if you have any medical questions, go see your OPGYN or even better, your menopause specialist, and tell them we sent you.
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And checking in, uh, Dom, do you have a menopause specialist yet?
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Perimenopause specialist yet?
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So about that.
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Yes.
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We're gonna be talking at some point about ADHD in paramenopause.
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Indeed, indeed, yes.
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Uh, and this is just a preview for that.
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No, I do not have a specialist yet.
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However, I have opened the website.
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Good job.
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I'm going to I'm going to toast you for that.
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Thank you.
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And and I went and saw my new primary here in Maine.
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Um, and she like right off the bat was like, okay, you're didn't even have to bring it up.
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She's like, you're in the age range of perimenopause.
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Let's start talking about it.
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Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
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Wonder's never ceased.
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That's incredible.
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And she was like, she sent me the menopause.org website and she's like, I want you to read some of the resources on here.
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And then why don't we talk about the estrogen patch for you afterwards?
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And so it's like, I didn't find a specialist yet, but my primary was like on top of it.
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I am so happy for you.
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And like, I'm just gonna give a round of applause there to that primary because like that is so amazing.
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Especially if anybody who who has been following the podcast for a while, if you go back to our very first episode, bitching about our menopause origin stories, Dom
Load full transcript
has a doozy of one.
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I yeah, I yeah, oh, and Hottie's crowdsourcing recommendations here.
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She wants me to start taking some supplements.
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She wants me on magnesium, calcium, and vitamin D.
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I can't remember the last time I bought a supplement for myself.
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So if anybody has any brands for those that you really like, I do, I do, and my um my uh nutritionist who I found through Nourish, uh, who is amazing.
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And I just talked with her this morning, uh, Marie, Christina Marie Rogers, she um recommended a calcium and a vitamin D for me um that is a liquid.
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Yeah.
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Wait, what's it taste like?
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Uh it's not great, but okay.
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I mean, I'm sure I've had worse things in my mouth, but uh hashtag I'm sure I've had worse things in my mouth.
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Uh but it's like you hold it like under your tongue for a little bit.
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Okay.
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And so like I I was on the floor with a foot cramp in Safeway for 20 minutes the other day.
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It was so embarrassing.
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And I went home and like I took the uh the magnesium immediately and it helped so much.
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So really, yeah, it's awful.
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Like the it the lack of estrogen leaches out the all of the good stuff out of our bodies, and and uh magnesium is one of those things.
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So yeah, please let us in general.
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I'm gonna want that link for that liquid.
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I'll link it in the show notes.
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It is I think like the name, the brand name is like Quicksilver or something.
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Uh I don't remember because brain fog, but I will um find it.
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We'll find it, and I'll link it in the show notes.
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We'll find it.
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Looks like you've already answered Lindsay's question.
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Any magnesium supplements that are not giant pills and not sugary gummies?
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Look like Lindsay, it looks like we're gonna put some nasty tasting shit under our tongues instead.
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But you know what?
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You can have like a brownie ready to go and like you swallowed the nasty shit and eat the brownie and you're good to go.
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But then am I gonna start associating brownies with that?
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Uh change it to something that is that you like to drink.
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Maybe some coke.
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Coke is a shot of whiskey after a shot of whiskey.
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There you go.
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I mean, it's you know, it's it's uh, you know, micronutrients, right?
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I mean, I can't have sugar.
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So if anybody needs anything that doesn't have sugar in it, like I I am the person to ask because I cannot eat anything derived from cane sugar, I get a bad reaction to it.
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So it's good to have a brownie ready to go in any event, says Kate.
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Agree.
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Thank you, Kate.
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100% agree.
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And I know that Kate is a very good baker too, so I bet her brownies are killers.
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Kate, Kate, do you ship brownies?
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Amazing.
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Oh my gosh.
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So, Dom, who are we and what are we drinking?
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Who are we and what are we drinking?
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And listeners, we're also adding a fun fact.
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You know, like the dreaded, the dreaded uh, was it icebreaker uh at meetings, but we're gonna make it fun.
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Yes.
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So, Marnie, Marnie, you go first.
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Okay.
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So let's see.
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Um, my name is Marnie.
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I am a uh I am in post-menopause.
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I have been post-menopausal for eight years.
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I earned my white pants eight years ago.
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And today I am I'm in the DC area, and today I am drinking out of my little happy reader vibes that is losing some stickers.
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Um, I am drinking uh spiced rum and pineapple juice.
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Oh no.
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I'm missing the beach.
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I miss the beach a lot.
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So, and my fun fact is um I have a tattoo on my lower right hip that you can't see if I'm wearing any type of clothing whatsoever, but it is a collection of symbols that mean a lot to me.
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And so the face of it is a diamond.
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And fun fact is when women were first allowed their own coats of arms, um, they were given a diamond, but a diamond within a diamond meant that a woman was independent or divorced.
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And I got this tattoo on what would have been my fourth anniversary after my after my my divorce.
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I am remarried to a wonderful guy.
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That said, um, in the center of that double diamond is uh a dot to symbolize the present moment and being present in the moment.
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Um, but a dot with a
circle around it is the symbol for the sun and a and it in ancient like hobo symbols in England and France and meant here they give you food and money.
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So that's inside the diamonds.
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And then on the outside are uh it looks like Celtic knot work, um, but it's a modified letter B to remind me to be bold.
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And then around the outside of it in white, in white ink, it says to thine own self be true.
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And then underneath it it says H B S E, which stands for happiness, boldness, strength, and endurance.
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Oh my god.
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I'll put a picture of it in the show notes, but it it means the world to me, and I figure, you know, if you're gonna have something on your body, you want it to mean something, right?
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That is gorgeous.
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I love that so much.
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Thank you.
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So power symbols on my body all the time.
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Yes.
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How about you, Dom?
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Who are you and what are you drinking, and what's a fun fact about you?
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Okay, so I am Dom.
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I am located in Maine.
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I am 44 years old and I am in perimenopause.
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So all of the things are happening now, and they've been happening for almost four years that I know of.
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But if I was to really dig back into my history, I probably would see some signs even before 40.
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Um, and my fun fact, well, since we're talking about the stuff that's on our bodies, yeah, I have four tattoos, but one of my tattoos is only visible if I take my pants off.
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Um, I got the Xavier Roberts signature on my right butt cheek about 10 years ago because I decided I wanted to be the first Filipino Italian cabbage patch kid.
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Oh my god, I love that.
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I love that so much.
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That I can't wait to see that because I'm gonna see you in person in a few weeks, and I can't wait to see that.
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Oh, you'll see.
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I I will I readily show that butt cheek to anyone who wants to see it.
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Yes.
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Oh my god.
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Is it online somewhere?
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Is it on your like your Instagram or something?
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It might be, and if it's not, we might need to remedy that.
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Okay, okay.
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So on our Instagram and on our TikTok, we need to put uh both of our tattoos.
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Did you want to talk
about your other tattoos as well?
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Okay, well, maybe.
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We'll leave those for another one.
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We'll leave those for for another.
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Okay.
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Another one, we'll leave it.
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I feel as though Xavier is that is that is pretty awesome.
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And what are you drinking?
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You forgot to tell me.
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Oh, Rose Alday, baby.
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Rose all day.
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Is it from the same rose from the corner?
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It is from the corner market, but today I paid extra for more expensive rose from the corner market because it's been a fucking week already.
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Oh my god, tell me.
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And I decided to be bougie.
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Here's the bougie.
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And can I just toast to us?
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We just hit 100 downloads.
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And I clear, click on that.
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We hit 100 downloads.
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So we we do record a little in advance, but we we hit 100 downloads on our fourth episode.
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Yay us! Yay, us, and yay to everybody else who is loving having these conversations with us because we need them.
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Thank you for your support, for listening, for sharing.
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It means the world to us to have you here with us because this is this is this is for all of you, it's for us and for all of our friends that and family and friends we haven't met who have ovaries and deal with this.
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Yeah, 100%.
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So we actually, oh uh uh Marguerite Gavin said, Did you design your tattoo, Marnie?
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I did.
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I did.
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I was like, you know, my my ex hated tattoos, and so I was like, I'm gonna fucking that too.
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And so like I designed it myself.
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I I I do actually have a degree in graphic design, which you can see on our merch.
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Like our little our little bitch with the little lightning coming at, burking the lightning out, and then BIH and Hottie on the back.
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And I'm wearing the hottie on the back.
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I'm wearing the t-shirt today, too.
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Yeah, you are, and I'll show my boobs too.
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Dom's wearing our hottie t-shirt, and you can find all that at shop.bitchesandheat.com.
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Um, so yes, I did design my tattoo.
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Um, and I it means it means a lot to me.
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Maybe I should put that on a t-shirt.
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I'll send you guys the stuff and see what you think.
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Um, earned my white pants.
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Marguerite says, I love earned my white pants.
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Um, so yeah.
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Stay tuned, Marguerite and Hotes.
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We're gonna have some other things going on as it relates to white pants.
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So, on that note, why don't we move on to our bitch sesh?
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And what are we talking about today, Dom?
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Perry Menopausal rage.
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Oh, yeah.
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Yeah, it is the worst.
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So, so Miss Marnie, yes, tell me, tell me your rage stories.
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So, my rage stories.
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Um my again, in our uh origin stories episode, I noted that uh I my perimetopausal journey coincided with weaning my child, who is about to turn 14, by the way.
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Oh, by the time this comes out, we'll have turned 14.
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So my child just turned 14, and this coincided with weaning them.
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And and I did not know this, but when you wean your child, um, your hormones go, oh, okay, well, back to business.
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I guess you don't need those hormones anymore.
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But at the same time, I was 44, and so I it was like, whoa, okay, hang on, wait a minute.
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So, like with menopause, uh perimenopause and weaning my child, my hormones went into overdrive.
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And so I was so angry all the time.
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Everything, everything pissed me off.
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And I and my my besties wouldn't tell will tell you, anybody who knows me really will tell you.
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I'm like, I'm like so happy all the time.
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And this was just out of nowhere.
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I would bite people's heads off.
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And I was, you know, I was so so angry and and so sad, and just like the sadness led to anger, and everything, everything just like it was a perfect storm.
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Yeah.
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There was one one in particular one day that um I we had I had my child and um I had just put them down for a nap, or maybe it's bedtime, I think.
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And all day I had been waiting to put this um this alpha.
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I don't know if you know who what alpha shelving is, it's from the container store.
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Um oh yes, yes, yes.
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Yeah, so it's it's modular shelving, and I had been waiting all day to put up this
modular shelving.
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And I my husband came home from work, I had just gotten the kid uh to bed, and I was like, I'm ready to go put up the shelving now.
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And my husband said, Oh, honey, it's kind of late.
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Why don't you save that till tomorrow?
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And I burst into tears and screamed at him, I've been waiting all day to put up and like, oh my god.
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I think about it now, and I'm like, my poor husband.
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Um, but at the time, I'm sure I was like, um, but like it was just it was like, it was like this, you know, dog with the lighting and the fire around the microphone.
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It was like it was out of nowhere, and I would just start bawling, crying, and screaming.
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Um, and that's when I finally went and saw my doctor and I said, I don't know who this person is that that I have become.
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Um, and that's when she told me what was going on.
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Um so it was we would have friends over and my husband would serve like a round of drinks or something, and I would just see red, and I'd be like, You're cursing under my mind right now.
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Um and then I remembered that I had seen this Oprah special that was like um about perimenopausal rage.
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And I was like, I I was like, I remember this phrase, perimenopausal rage, because of course I had no idea what was happening.
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Um and and so I just googled perimenopausal rage, and this Oprah special came up, and I was like, I remember this.
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She had taken hidden cameras and put them throughout um different women's houses and and filmed them constantly until they had gotten used to it, right?
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And then she would get uh this you know uh the footage of them blowing up at their families over the littlest thing.
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Like you you put your dish in the left side of the sink instead of the right side of the sink and just seeing red, um, and just seemingly for no re no reason, and I'm using air quotes if you're not watching the video of this, and come to find out it's a totally normal thing when your body is going, okay, there are you know saber-toothed tigers everywhere, and you need to take them down when your your estrogen is all wonky.
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Oh my god.
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So I highly recommend Googling Perimenopausal Rage Oprah.
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Um and then like I would notice like in cinema, like every so often you'll see somebody famous is going through it.
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And like Salma Hayek, she just had um, and I can't remember the name of the of the movie, um, but I'll I'll try and remember it and put it in the show notes.
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Um, but her character is a middle-aged woman, and but she's you know, hot, like we are, and so she she put into her character that she was having hot flashes and she was having rage out of nowhere, and she was yeah, so it it does creep into the zeitgeist, and it's getting more and more prevalent as more people talk about it, like like us, and there are like 30 menopause podcasts out there, and um, it is so important that we all talk about this.
00:17:53.119 --> 00:18:20.000
So on my TikTok, my perimenopause, P A W S TikTok, I have a series of perimenopausal rage in cinema, and I have the uh the Rita Wilson monologue from the story of us about like um about how she doesn't have sex with her husband anymore because it's hard to French kiss someone who doesn't who takes the empty toilet paper roll and puts it on the you know and puts a new roll on top of the empty toilet paper roll.
00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:21.440
Does he not see it?
00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:29.359
It's like it's one of my favorite monologues in all of film.
00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:36.160
And then I put up Tawanda from um uh uh Fried Green Tomatoes.
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:39.440
Oh, do I remember that?
00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:49.920
Yes, and speaking of Kathy Bates, um, from Misery, the monologue about oh, how nice you don't appreciate anything that I'm doing.
00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:52.000
And it's right before she hobbles him.
00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:55.680
And yeah, and so I shouldn't have laughed that.
00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:57.839
I mean, but come on.
00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:02.079
And then the other ones I have up are Everything Everywhere All at Once.
00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:12.000
Amazing movie, amazing, and so in like such such a metaphor for perimetopause, just like everything everywhere all at once.
00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:21.759
And um, and the other one was Hella from the the um from the oh gosh Thor movies.
00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:25.599
Hell it Hella is like, isn't she Thor's sister?
00:19:25.839 --> 00:19:30.480
And she like just it's um please help me in the chat.
00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:34.799
It it is uh Oh Night Bitch! Night Bitch is another one.
00:19:34.960 --> 00:19:37.839
Lindsay just mentioned Night Bitch with Amy Adams.
00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:39.440
It's such a good movie.
00:19:39.599 --> 00:19:41.279
Oh my gosh, it's so good.
00:19:41.519 --> 00:19:47.440
Um, so uh, but Hella, um god damn it.
00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:48.960
Anyway, Kate Blanchett, that's her name.
00:19:49.039 --> 00:20:07.279
Kate Blanchette plays Hella, and so she is uh she's like she gets mad, and then this guy's like, we're supposed to be you know scared of a little girl, and she's like, oh man, and then she like go does this, and like all her spikes come out, and she proceeds to kill everyone.
00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:10.400
And I was like, that's perimenopausal.
00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:18.559
Just brilliant representation in Marvel, right?
00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:19.759
Exactly.
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:21.279
So what about you, you don't?
00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:26.559
Like, what what is your what are your stories about menopausal paramenopausal rage?
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:27.599
What has happened to you?
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:29.440
Whoa, whoa.
00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:37.279
So it kind of snuck up on me because here's the thing I am half Italian, half Filipino.
00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:40.319
Okay, which means I've got a temper.
00:20:43.680 --> 00:20:44.880
I love it.
00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:46.319
I love it.
00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:58.400
So like me increasing rage, but actually it did start to my husband I I do have a marker for where I do know it turned into rage because I think it was like a year ago.
00:20:58.559 --> 00:20:58.640
Okay.
00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:07.519
Ian looked at me and he was like, You're not you and he was like scared of me.
00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:09.279
And I was like, what are you talking about?
00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:12.720
As I am yelling at him for oh, here's the thing.
00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:14.079
Okay, actually, hang on.
00:21:14.319 --> 00:21:19.200
All right, yes, it was probably perimenopause of rage that got me to this level.
00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:21.920
Hottie's Hottie's helped me.
00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:33.680
He washed one of my cardigans on warm water with towels and put it in the dryer.
00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:35.920
Oh, and it was wool?
00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:38.880
It was like a cotton cotton cashmere.
00:21:39.359 --> 00:21:40.799
Oh my god.
00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:42.160
Oh, right.
00:21:42.720 --> 00:21:43.839
Your rage was justified.
00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:44.880
Help a girl out here.
00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:45.839
Help a girl out.
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:47.039
I got your bail money.
00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:47.839
You're good.
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:55.519
So I consistently, I I consistently text friends and say, get my bail money ready.
00:21:57.039 --> 00:21:58.880
Get like like get it ready.
00:21:59.039 --> 00:21:59.519
There were two.
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:04.640
There are two reasons that my oldest friends know that they need to have bail money for.
00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:06.640
One, Ian, Ian's my husband.
00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:08.400
Ian did the fucking laundry again.
00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:13.200
Even though I tell him he thinks he's being helpful, I tell him every time, please don't dear.
00:22:13.359 --> 00:22:15.359
I know you're thinking you're being helpful.
00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:17.599
I appreciate that from the bottom of my heart.
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:19.440
Please don't do the fucking laundry.
00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:24.960
The other time I need bail money is when I go to the grocery store.
00:22:25.119 --> 00:22:27.839
And that is also a rage trigger for me.
00:22:28.079 --> 00:22:28.960
Tell me.
00:22:29.839 --> 00:22:30.640
Let's see.
00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:51.759
I mean people in the grocery store, people walking in the grocery store, people blocking the entire aisle of the grocery store, people standing in lines up my butt too close in the grocery store, people using self-checkout that don't have never used self-checkout before and take a million years, or do a grocery cart full of fucking shit in the self-checkout line.
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:55.200
People who go to the 12 items and under with 20 items.
00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:12.240
However, those little things.
00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:36.960
Or is something else happening?
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:37.599
Yeah.
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:48.240
I will say my last doctor did put me on a low dose, back on a low dose of acetalipriam, which is the generic form of lexaprobe to help me with sleeping.
00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:53.440
And that seems to be calming me down a little bit.
00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:54.079
Yes.
00:23:54.960 --> 00:24:01.599
Along with boxing on a weekly basis with my boxing coach who sometimes listens to the podcast.
00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:02.559
She was here last time.
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:04.000
So she will probably hear this.
00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:07.599
But yeah, that also going and hitting things hard.
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:08.400
Yes.
00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:11.039
Here that another good thing.
00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:13.359
Yeah, another recommendation for hitting things.
00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:15.599
I want to go to one of those rec rooms.
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:18.880
I actually have a gift card for a rec room.
00:24:19.039 --> 00:24:19.759
Oh my gosh.
00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:21.359
Up there, up there in Maine?
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:22.559
In New Hampshire.
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:23.680
Oh my gosh.
00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:28.000
I want to find one and like go and destroy some stuff.
00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:33.279
Like that's meant to be destroyed and nobody gets hurt, but like it it oh, just so excited.
00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:35.759
Port Fun Fun says it is the little thing.
00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:36.880
It is, thank you.
00:24:37.039 --> 00:24:40.640
Like Ian leaving the I fucking told you this.
00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:50.160
He fucking he eats granola out of the granola bag and he puts his grubby fingers in there and then he leaves the bag open on the counter or on the dining room table.
00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:54.559
Or sometimes he eats it on the couch with his hands and then gets crumbs on the couch.
00:24:54.799 --> 00:24:55.440
Oh my god.
00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:57.279
Good thing you have dogs though.
00:24:59.920 --> 00:25:06.960
It's perimenopausal rage combined with my Italian Filipiness.
00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:08.319
Not good.
00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:10.480
Not good.
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:12.160
Oh my god, I love it.
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:14.079
Oh, Port Fun Fun says fantastic podcast.
00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:16.319
Break bottles at the recycling center.
00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:19.200
It's very satisfying.
00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:26.240
We do have like a recycling thing, and it's got a separate thing for glass,
and like shove it in there, and here you go.
00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:28.799
That's wonderful.
00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:29.440
I like it.
00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:32.319
She also says, Men listen to your bitches.
00:25:32.559 --> 00:25:35.920
Yes, men listen to your bitches.
00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:38.160
I love it.
00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:38.799
Oh my god.
00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:44.799
Lindsay says, Did Oprah's cameras pick up the 10 things that happened before that dish blow up?
00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:49.039
I Lindsay, that is an excellent fucking point, actually, because it's never just one.
00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:50.960
Some just it builds up.
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:52.400
It builds up.
00:25:53.279 --> 00:25:54.799
It's never just the dishes.
00:25:57.119 --> 00:25:58.079
We have long memories.
00:25:58.240 --> 00:26:05.279
We might not be able to remember why we walked in the room, but we do remember why we blew up over those dishes.
00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:06.079
Oh my gosh.
00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:11.759
That that cardigan incident that was five years ago.
00:26:12.000 --> 00:26:13.680
Oh I still remember it.
00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:16.079
He is still not allowed to do laundry.
00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:18.480
He's still oh no, because he still fucks it up.
00:26:20.319 --> 00:26:21.279
Ian, we love you.
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:23.519
Don't do the laundry.
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:24.960
You should give him an alternative.
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:30.160
Every time you think that you want to do the laundry, why don't you come give me a back rub?
00:26:30.319 --> 00:26:31.599
I was yeah.
00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:34.400
Except for if I'm having a hot flesh, don't touch me.
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:34.960
That's true.
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:36.240
You can give me a foot rub.
00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:37.039
Oh, there you go.
00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:37.599
There you go.
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:41.200
Run your hands, put your hands in the freezer for 10 minutes and then give me a foot rub.
00:26:41.599 --> 00:26:42.160
Yes.
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:44.000
Bring some ice cubes.
00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:46.720
Like run the ice cubes.
00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:48.559
Oh, that's amazing.
00:26:49.039 --> 00:26:49.119
Oh.
00:26:49.440 --> 00:26:54.799
So well, I mean, we we want to introduce something new to the podcast.
00:26:55.680 --> 00:26:58.720
And that is hormone horror stories.
00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:12.799
Because since we have started this podcast, people have been sending us emails and text messages and just stopping us like when we're together and telling us stories about what has happened to them.
00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:22.000
And I think every time we every time we do a new episode, we have heard a new swath of hormone horror stories.
00:27:22.160 --> 00:27:24.720
So Hottie Tour here with us for Hottie Happy Hour.
00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:29.039
Cheers you if you want to put your hormone horror stories in the chat.
00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:33.920
Um I have some that my friends sent to me via text.
00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:37.920
Um I will bring this all up.
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:40.880
So um my friend Colleen.
00:27:41.359 --> 00:27:49.039
Um, so she's had to deal with bone loss and height loss because it's and she's my age.
00:27:49.119 --> 00:27:51.680
Like she we're not old.
00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:55.680
Like my my mother-in-law has gone from 4'10 to 4'8, right?
00:27:55.759 --> 00:28:01.920
She's she's but she's 80 what is she, 82, 82, I think.
00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:11.119
Um and she's you know, she's she's had some life experience to put into that crushing of the bones.
00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:25.440
But like um m Colleen is dealing with the this bone loss and height loss not being believed by her doctor at 40 that she was experiencing this stuff, very similar to what you went through, Dom.
00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:27.839
But poor posture.
00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:37.359
So like I have osteopenia on my lower back, which I found out from a DEXA scan, which her doctor will not cover.
00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:45.759
Even though you're supposed to be able to not doctor, her insurance will not cover, even though you're supposed to get your first DEXA scan at 50.
00:28:46.799 --> 00:28:52.079
And if if I had had a DEXA scan earlier, maybe we would have caught the osteopenia earlier.
00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:58.240
But like I have to do strength train uh strengthening strength training exercises now.
00:28:58.799 --> 00:29:03.680
Um but dental problems because teeth are bones, right?
00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:10.000
Um brittle fingernails, back and neck neck pain.
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:14.160
So yeah, so it's yeah.
00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:21.920
So ask your doctor when you're supposed to get your DEXA scan, and if if you are already 50, ask them for a DEXA scan.
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:23.680
So, what is a DEXA scan?
00:29:24.160 --> 00:29:24.640
Good question.
00:29:24.799 --> 00:29:32.079
A DEXA scan is a an X-ray, but it's sort of like an MRI almost, um, of your hip bones.
00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:33.039
Oh.
00:29:33.519 --> 00:29:39.039
And it can tell the uh the the thickness of the bones, like the porousness of the bones.
00:29:39.119 --> 00:29:44.720
I'm not explaining this well, but it's it's to find out what your bone dense bone density is.
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:45.279
Okay.
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:48.640
And and it gives you like a scoring.
00:29:48.880 --> 00:29:52.559
And if your scoring is thus and such, then it's osteopenia.
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:55.440
If it's gone farther than that, it's osteoporosis.
00:29:55.680 --> 00:30:00.319
Another home run horror story, my friend Bridget is dealing with this right now.
00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:03.119
She has osteoporosis in her spine.
00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:06.400
She is my age or a year younger.
00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:20.960
Um, and the person that her primary doctor sent her to to get you know checked out for osteoporosis said that they don't treat postmenopausal women.
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:29.759
Osteoporosis most affects postmenopausal women.
00:30:30.079 --> 00:30:36.799
But this particular provider is saying that they will not, they don't see postmenopausal women.
00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:37.519
What?
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:39.440
I'm like, what the actual fuck are you doing?
00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:41.359
What the fuck is there a reason for that?
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:42.880
Yeah, I have no idea.
00:30:43.039 --> 00:30:43.680
So yeah.
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:45.599
They need to get throat punched.
00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:47.680
Yeah, they need to get throat punched.
00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:48.880
They do need to get throat punched.
00:30:49.039 --> 00:30:50.319
Like, what is the point?
00:30:50.559 --> 00:30:56.720
What is the point of seeing people for osteoporosis if you're not going to treat postmenopausal women?
00:30:56.880 --> 00:31:07.680
Oh fuck or postmenopausal people with over ovaries, which we always always quick to mention that trans men and non-binary people with ovaries also do go through perimenopause and menopause.
00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:09.680
But yeah, horror stories, right?
00:31:09.839 --> 00:31:10.799
This is awful.
00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:12.319
Awful, awful, awful.
00:31:12.559 --> 00:31:13.200
Fuck that.
00:31:13.359 --> 00:31:14.720
Fuck that indeed.
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:24.480
Um, Emily wrote in to say, uh she she even typed it all out for me, so I want to make sure that this is exactly what she said.
00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:28.880
She said, I'm not sure if any of my bad experiences are hormonal yet.
00:31:29.119 --> 00:31:30.720
This is just the way I am.
00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:39.119
Like I really wanted to be perimenopause because it's all the same symptoms, but it's the way I've always been.
00:31:39.200 --> 00:31:44.319
And y'all, fellow neurodivergents saying it only gets worse is terrifying.
00:31:44.640 --> 00:31:47.839
I'm 40 and I feel like I'm in it for any day now.
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:51.359
And and I just saw this amazing um video.
00:31:51.920 --> 00:32:00.720
It is a very concise um explanation of penopause and perimenopause that is um it's on YouTube.
00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:02.319
I'll link to it in the show notes.
00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:05.039
Um, but it's it is very basic.
00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:08.720
This is what happens, here's what's happening with your body.
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:19.759
Um, you and they think that it actually starts earlier than we even thought because you know how fertility, um, advanced maternal age is after 35, right?
00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:32.000
So they think that because we're all born with all the eggs we're ever gonna have, like everyone with ovaries who's born with ovaries has all the eggs that they will ever have when they're born.
00:32:32.240 --> 00:32:36.960
And then as we get to puberty, that comes down to about, I think she said half.
00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:43.119
I'll look at it again, but the eggs there, you know, then you
start, you start to shed them with your periods.
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:53.359
Um, but like the follicles start to m mature, and then like the one that gets there the fastest lets the egg go, and then all the other ones go, oh, okay, I guess it's not my turn yet.
00:32:53.519 --> 00:32:57.519
And then that follicle gets absorbed back in, and then the next egg comes up.
00:32:57.680 --> 00:33:08.640
Um, so by the time you get to 35, most of the eggs, the viable eggs, are gone, which is why it's harder to get pregnant after 35.
00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:14.799
But you still can, it's just that your your ovulation becomes less predictable.
00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:21.839
So they were positing that perimenopause actually starts around 35.
00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:22.559
Sure.
00:33:23.119 --> 00:33:36.799
But we just don't see the more um the bigger things like night sweats and hot flashes and um the brain fog until later when the estrogen starts to really take a dive.
00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:40.319
And it is unusual, but people do start in their 20s.
00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:41.759
It's very unusual.
00:33:43.279 --> 00:33:44.960
Yeah, but it happens.
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:46.640
So thank you for that.
00:33:46.799 --> 00:33:49.839
Thank you for sharing those, Colleen and Emily and Bridget.
00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:52.319
Thank you for sharing your stories with my friend.
00:33:52.480 --> 00:33:56.400
Um, and I I've got a couple more that I'll I'll save for another episode.
00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:57.519
But what about you, Dom?
00:33:57.599 --> 00:34:00.240
Do you have some hormone horror stories to share with us?
00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:07.680
So I wouldn't call I mean, I guess they could fall under hormone horror stories, but I enjoy Reddit.
00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:16.639
And so today I was like, I wonder what Reddit says about perimenopausal rage.
00:34:17.440 --> 00:34:27.280
So I found a post in Reddit where somebody asked, what is the most unreasonable thing that has triggered your perimenopause rage?
00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:28.000
Oh my gosh.
00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:31.039
And Hoddies, please take part, put it in the chat for me.
00:34:31.280 --> 00:34:32.320
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:36.320
So here are some of the so here there was a there was a lot.
00:34:36.559 --> 00:34:38.079
There were a lot of answers.
00:34:38.320 --> 00:34:43.039
What I loved most was like people responding to each other's answers, going, yes, me too, me too.
00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:44.639
It was like such a great space to be in.
00:34:44.800 --> 00:34:46.000
Everybody was like, Yeah, fuck that.
00:34:46.079 --> 00:34:48.159
And it was things like your husband blowing his nose.
00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:52.559
Um, so here's here's here's here's some of the of the gems.
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:57.280
One person just said, My mom threw a shoe at me once.
00:34:57.519 --> 00:35:00.079
I was 13, she was 40.
00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:01.760
Now I understand.
00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:07.440
Someone wrote, hearing my husband breathe.
00:35:08.559 --> 00:35:17.280
Um the new thing my husband is doing is quietly laughing to himself while on his phone with earbuds.
00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:21.039
He opens his mouth to prevent a loud laugh.
00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:27.760
He's doing this to be considerate, but all I hear is mouth breathing, mouth breathing, huffy laughter.
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:30.480
And I want to hold a pillow over his face.
00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:34.800
And somebody responded, does he also chew?
00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:39.199
Because my husband does, and I swear he ruins every meal.
00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:42.320
Chewing, Kate's chewing, yes.
00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:50.800
Uh, this one was a fun one where people responded, tried a new recipe, turned out shit, turned out like shit, which sent me into an instant rage.
00:35:50.880 --> 00:36:00.079
And in my moments of rage, I started drinking mango flavored wine, cheapest shit from Wally World, and started adding more crap to the recipe because it's already shit.
00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:02.000
How cut, how bad could it get?
00:36:02.239 --> 00:36:03.440
Turned out to be a hit.
00:36:03.519 --> 00:36:07.119
So now I'm drunk and full and no more rage.
00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:11.119
Oh, this is the this next one is the one that people responded to.
00:36:11.280 --> 00:36:12.639
Back on the laundry topic.
00:36:12.880 --> 00:36:16.559
My sweet husband did my laundry, probably never will again.
00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:18.880
Someone responded, Cheers, my friend.
00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:22.000
Mine threw my comfy jeans in the dryer on high.
00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:27.199
And someone responded to that, oh no, that's nearly war crime level.
00:36:28.159 --> 00:36:34.719
Uh, we've got humming and whistling, uh, husband wearing workout pants and making the swooshing sound.
00:36:34.960 --> 00:36:35.679
Oh no.
00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:55.280
Uh, the sound of my husband existing, my pants didn't feel right on my body, uh, people in my house talking to me, partner shuffling his feet on the carpet when he's walking barefoot, husband trying to explain a card game to me and taking too long, so I threw the box at him.
00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:00.000
And overly loud commercials.
00:37:00.239 --> 00:37:00.960
Oh, God.
00:37:01.199 --> 00:37:15.039
Point being, I mean, I found it very, very nice to see other people feeling rage over the little things.
00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:16.559
It's totally affirming.
00:37:16.639 --> 00:37:17.840
It's a it is affirming.
00:37:18.239 --> 00:37:19.679
It's a so affirming.
00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:28.800
Um, Kate also said from her hormone horror stories, recurring UTIs, which when I asked my OBGYN, she said, Oh, yes, that's definitely a thing that happens.
00:37:29.039 --> 00:37:30.239
Could they not warn us?
00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:32.079
Seriously, right?
00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:33.119
Oh my gosh.
00:37:33.360 --> 00:37:34.960
And Lindsay would be great.
00:37:35.119 --> 00:37:36.320
Uh yeah, right.
00:37:36.480 --> 00:37:41.599
And Lindsay said period flu and menstrual migraines for over a year.
00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:45.599
No, over a year.
00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:47.679
I'm sorry, Lindsay.
00:37:47.840 --> 00:37:48.960
That's awful.
00:37:49.199 --> 00:37:50.239
That's awful.
00:37:50.559 --> 00:37:52.800
Poor Elise Myers.
00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:54.880
Um, is that Elise Myers?
00:37:55.039 --> 00:38:00.480
I think Elise Myers, uh, the one that's the viral person on on Instagram or whatever.
00:38:00.639 --> 00:38:18.960
She said that she had um uh she had bleeding, constant bleeding, so bad that she had to have um like a tampon and a nightpad and period underwear and sitting on a towel wherever she went.
00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:20.480
Oh my god.
00:38:21.199 --> 00:38:24.320
And she's like, I didn't realize that wasn't normal.
00:38:27.679 --> 00:38:28.960
And like, yeah.
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:38.719
And I guess like whatever her doctors would say would probab was probably like, oh yeah, no, you just have heavy periods.
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:39.440
It's just your body.
00:38:39.599 --> 00:38:41.360
It's just your body, that's just your period.
00:38:41.599 --> 00:38:42.239
I know, right?
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:43.519
Oh my god, the worst.
00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:49.599
Um Lindsay said, I didn't really know I had misophonia until Perry, but it might have always been there.
00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:50.400
Yeah.
00:38:50.639 --> 00:38:51.599
Oh god, oh god.
00:38:51.760 --> 00:38:53.199
Bright lights for me, too.
00:38:53.440 --> 00:38:55.840
Like, I cannot stand bright lights anymore.
00:38:56.159 --> 00:38:56.800
No more big lights.
00:38:57.280 --> 00:39:00.800
Like a, you know, as we both sweat under our big lights and our lights.
00:39:00.960 --> 00:39:01.360
I know, right?
00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:04.239
I'm I'm constantly like, Ian, turn the big light off.
00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:05.199
Turn the big light off.
00:39:05.599 --> 00:39:06.719
Light off, no big light.
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:11.360
And I I heard that's also an ADHD thing, so it's probably just worse.
00:39:11.760 --> 00:39:16.000
Like when you're in Perry and or when you're in menopause, and like, yeah.
00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:20.880
So what do you do to help with your rage, Dom?
00:39:27.039 --> 00:39:30.320
I mean, you gotta snort.
00:39:30.400 --> 00:39:31.440
We gotta snort.
00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:33.360
Oh my gosh.
00:39:33.599 --> 00:39:37.280
I mean, you already said hitting things, but yeah, I I hit things.
00:39:37.519 --> 00:39:40.559
I I hit heavy punching bags.
00:39:40.880 --> 00:39:43.519
Um what else?
00:39:43.679 --> 00:39:44.400
What else do I do?
00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:49.360
So I do I did some reading and it's like, have you ever seen those things?
00:39:49.519 --> 00:39:57.039
And it's not just for perimenopause, but it's like sort of that like check-in with yourself when you're starting to feel like sad or frustrated or angry.
00:39:57.119 --> 00:39:59.760
And it's like, have you once last time you ate?
00:39:59.920 --> 00:40:01.840
How how did you sleep last night?
00:40:02.079 --> 00:40:16.000
Once how much water have you, like the checklist of things of like of your needs before you kind of allow the big emotion that you're feeling to take up more space within your day.
00:40:16.320 --> 00:40:29.599
Yeah and I have found that while it doesn't always alleviate the perimenopausal rage, sometimes, sometimes if those needs are met, the rage isn't so bad.
00:40:29.840 --> 00:40:30.480
Yeah, yeah.
00:40:30.719 --> 00:40:45.360
So, like, because here's the thing too, it's like when you're in perimenopause like myself, and your sleep is fucked, like myself, then like it's it, it just makes me eat all the more spicy.
00:40:45.599 --> 00:40:46.320
Yeah, 100%.
00:40:46.880 --> 00:40:57.119
So it's right now, I have not unlocked this yet, but right now I am trying to figure out a way to unlock my sleep.
00:40:58.239 --> 00:41:00.639
I I am trying to do that too.
00:41:00.800 --> 00:41:04.880
I have been sleeping so badly in the last month.
00:41:05.039 --> 00:41:10.719
Like, I've been going to bed at three and four in the morning every night for a month.
00:41:11.039 --> 00:41:12.480
I know because you text me.
00:41:12.880 --> 00:41:17.280
I I wake, I wake up at six in the morning and I see your text from 2 a.m.
00:41:17.519 --> 00:41:19.840
I'm like, Jesus, did you go to bed?
00:41:20.079 --> 00:41:20.719
I'm sorry.
00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:23.519
But like if I don't write it, my phone goes on sleep.
00:41:23.599 --> 00:41:24.880
I don't think I can hear it.
00:41:25.039 --> 00:41:25.599
Okay, good.
00:41:26.559 --> 00:41:29.199
No, I I if I don't write it down, I'm gonna forget it.
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:31.599
So if I don't say it right then, it won't happen.
00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:36.079
And so yeah, no, I definitely have to I have to text you as soon as I know.
00:41:36.400 --> 00:41:38.000
It it's it's so bad.
00:41:38.159 --> 00:41:49.679
I actually um nourish has uh uh that I've mentioned before, my my uh nutritionist app has um had one of the things was uh sleep hygiene.
00:41:50.239 --> 00:41:56.800
And it was like click, you know, I clicked on sleep hygiene and it's an AI assistant.
00:41:57.039 --> 00:42:04.719
And I was like, but I was like, as soon as it popped up, it was like, have you tried putting your phone in the other room?
00:42:04.880 --> 00:42:06.800
Have a little bedtime routine, blah, blah, blah.
00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:13.599
It was like all the things that you tell generic people, like um, here's what you do if you want to go to bed on time.
00:42:13.760 --> 00:42:15.039
And I was like, fuck you.
00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:17.440
So but I'm not putting my phone in the other room.
00:42:17.519 --> 00:42:18.559
What if there's an emergency?
00:42:18.719 --> 00:42:19.119
I know.
00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:22.639
So I we have aging parents, I
gotta be able to answer the fucking phone.
00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:23.599
Yeah, for sure.
00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:32.719
But but I was actually impressed because I wrote back, I have ADHD and I know all those things, but I can't make myself do it.
00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:36.559
And the AI said, Oh, that's good information to have.
00:42:36.719 --> 00:42:41.760
Here are some out-of-the-box ideas, yes, that that you might try.
00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:46.400
And they were like, uh, they they the AI said, What time did you go to bed?
00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:47.440
What time do you normally go to bed?
00:42:47.519 --> 00:42:49.360
And it's like three or four in the morning.
00:42:49.599 --> 00:42:53.280
And they said, Okay, so we're not gonna get you to go to bed at 10 anytime soon.
00:42:53.440 --> 00:42:54.880
I was like, Oh, there you go.
00:42:55.119 --> 00:42:56.800
All right, all right, I'm listening.
00:42:56.960 --> 00:42:58.719
And then it said Skynet.
00:42:58.960 --> 00:42:59.760
I know, right?
00:42:59.920 --> 00:43:18.159
Why don't you try setting a uh close closing closing down alarm um like at 2 30 to like close it down and write in the alarm um bathroom, meds, water, sleep.
00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:23.519
Bathroom, beds, water, uh, bed, bathroom, meds, water bed, or something like that.
00:43:23.679 --> 00:43:26.400
Like, these are your only things that you need to do.
00:43:26.719 --> 00:43:32.079
And if things come up, like one more thing and one more thing, if it's still important tomorrow, you can do it.
00:43:32.639 --> 00:43:35.360
And keep I oh, I got this thing.
00:43:36.400 --> 00:43:41.920
I got a little um a little like it's a light up one.
00:43:42.079 --> 00:43:44.480
And I don't know if you can tell that it lights up on here.
00:43:46.159 --> 00:43:47.679
I have to like put the thing on.
00:43:47.760 --> 00:43:48.400
Oh, there it goes.
00:43:48.480 --> 00:43:48.800
Okay.
00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:50.639
There it goes.
00:43:51.920 --> 00:43:53.840
It lights up, and you can get it to stop.
00:43:53.920 --> 00:43:56.639
Like right now, it's cycling through all the uh all the colors.
00:43:56.880 --> 00:43:57.679
It's like Christmas.
00:43:57.840 --> 00:43:59.760
It's like Christmas, but I I thought.
00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:05.760
About the idea of ooh, and it you can make a go, ooh, um breathing.
00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:14.400
Um but I I thought about the idea of having um a pad of paper next to me, but then I would want to turn on the light to see what I was writing.
00:44:14.800 --> 00:44:21.679
This is just a pane of plexiglass and it lights up and you can turn it on, write write something on it.
00:44:21.760 --> 00:44:24.079
You can see what you're writing and turn it off right away.
00:44:24.239 --> 00:44:25.199
It's not bright.
00:44:25.679 --> 00:44:37.920
Um so yeah, so that so that uh plus the alarm, the shut it down alarm, but a warning alarm 15 minutes ahead of time.
00:44:38.079 --> 00:44:44.400
That's like wrap wrap up what you're doing, and then like maybe I I do three alarms.
00:44:44.480 --> 00:44:47.519
I do 15 minutes before, then five minutes before, then the time.
00:44:48.159 --> 00:44:51.360
Um and last night I went to bed at 2:30.
00:44:53.039 --> 00:44:53.679
I know.
00:44:54.159 --> 00:44:54.719
Yay!
00:44:55.440 --> 00:44:56.960
Now that's one night.
00:44:57.119 --> 00:45:02.719
One night does not a complete life change make, but um, it's progress in the right direction.
00:45:02.800 --> 00:45:04.960
So that is progress, that's amazing.
00:45:05.280 --> 00:45:09.440
Yeah, and you listened to your alarms, you didn't snooze them or anything because that's what I usually do.
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:10.719
I didn't snooze them.
00:45:10.800 --> 00:45:17.679
Like I I I set multiple alarms because if if I snooze them, they're on an odd time and I don't like them.
00:45:19.119 --> 00:45:20.719
It drives me crazy.
00:45:21.360 --> 00:45:23.280
So, okay, so is there anything else?
00:45:23.360 --> 00:45:28.719
So that's what you do for sleep, which is what for me I think is what's gonna help me with my rage besides hitting things.
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:33.519
Um but uh what else do you do for to help with your rage?
00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:36.719
So um my meds help a lot.
00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:53.360
Um I when I first had those like deep sadness and like the feeling of like something sitting on my chest, I um went to my OBGYN and she who had been through menopause herself at 40, um, put me on Certraline right away.
00:45:53.440 --> 00:45:57.440
And I am currently weaning myself, titrating myself off Certraline.
00:45:58.159 --> 00:46:03.119
I had been at the highest dose because and I was like, nothing can make me cry, ha ha ha.
00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:05.119
But it was helping.
00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:06.320
It was helping a great deal.
00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:09.760
Yeah, but um but I'm I'm weaning myself off.
00:46:09.920 --> 00:46:20.480
So I have started listening to um uh breathing exercises that are very, very, very slow.
00:46:20.639 --> 00:46:26.079
So like it's a like four and a half breaths a minute, or four breaths a minute.
00:46:26.320 --> 00:46:29.679
So it's like an inhale and an exhale for 15 seconds.
00:46:30.239 --> 00:46:36.480
Um and that is sort of a biofeedback exercise that that calms your heart rate.
00:46:36.800 --> 00:46:37.119
Okay.
00:46:37.519 --> 00:46:40.320
Um I also leave the room a lot.
00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:49.679
I the last time I got really, really mad was when when we were about ready to leave for I think it was vacation.
00:46:49.840 --> 00:47:02.480
We were leaving for vacation, and I had been given a time to leave, and I set my schedule so that I did this, and then I did this and I did this, and then the set time to leave was this.
00:47:03.039 --> 00:47:06.719
And my husband's like, oh well, why don't we leave a few minutes earlier?
00:47:07.039 --> 00:47:09.119
I hit the fucking ceiling.
00:47:09.440 -->
00:47:22.400
Oh no, I was like, no, like I try I you don't know how hard I worked to get this to all fit in, and I am doing exactly what I need to do in the time frame that you gave me.
00:47:22.800 --> 00:47:23.599
It's okay.
00:47:23.840 --> 00:47:25.760
Like, yeah, yeah.
00:47:28.559 --> 00:47:30.239
Do not move our cheese right now.
00:47:30.719 --> 00:47:32.000
Do not move our cheese.
00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:33.280
Oh my God.
00:47:33.519 --> 00:47:38.480
Um, so alone time helps, meds help, um, and somatic exercises.
00:47:38.639 --> 00:47:46.559
Um, our friend Meg Renin um is a somatic exercise practitioner, and I'm actually gonna go take one of her glasses tonight after this.
00:47:46.800 --> 00:47:47.119
Nice.
00:47:47.360 --> 00:48:03.039
Um, they're they're nervous system exercises that um teach you how to recognize when you're either in fight, flight, or freeze, or if you're like um you're like getting really head up.
00:48:03.280 --> 00:48:12.000
Um and you can do any of these exercises, and some can be done like in front of other people, and they will never know.
00:48:12.239 --> 00:48:25.119
Like one of them is is pinching your your fingers and your your thumb on the knuckles, and it's like it's like grounding your body to say you are safe, you are here.
00:48:25.840 --> 00:48:27.440
It's it's really amazing.
00:48:27.519 --> 00:48:35.039
So, Meg Runyon, I don't know if she does like um check out W-I-M Wim Hof, Wim Hof for breathing.
00:48:35.199 --> 00:48:36.639
Megan McCall is in the chat.
00:48:36.800 --> 00:48:38.719
Megan! Check out Wim Hof for breathing.
00:48:38.880 --> 00:48:40.400
The body doesn't lie, Colleen says.
00:48:40.559 --> 00:48:43.119
Pranayama, baby, says Colleen.
00:48:43.519 --> 00:48:44.880
Pranayama breathing.
00:48:44.960 --> 00:48:46.559
Yeah, the body does not lie.
00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:52.480
It's we can like try and psych ourselves up as much as we want, but the body doesn't lie.
00:48:52.559 --> 00:48:53.679
The body is gonna know.
00:48:54.480 --> 00:48:57.440
So, like this, I I've done this my whole life.
00:48:57.679 --> 00:49:08.079
What you can't see if you're just listening to this, is I'm taking my flat palm and putting it um uh just below my collarbone, above my like right above my breastbone, just below my collarbone.
00:49:08.320 --> 00:49:19.360
And just that it that grounding lets my body know that I'm safe and I'm here and and everything's gonna be okay.
00:49:19.599 --> 00:49:19.920
Amazing.
00:49:20.159 --> 00:49:21.039
And I've always done this.
00:49:21.119 --> 00:49:24.719
I didn't know that that was like an actual somatic exercise, but it is.
00:49:25.679 --> 00:49:29.199
I'm sure there are tons of somatic exercises on YouTube too, but check it out.
00:49:29.519 --> 00:49:30.719
Like somatic exercises.
00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:40.079
And if you know Meg Runyon, hit her up because she does these for like she is so so inexpensive and like does them once a month.
00:49:40.159 --> 00:49:40.960
She's amazing.
00:49:41.280 --> 00:49:42.800
Uh amazing.
00:49:43.440 --> 00:49:45.280
So that's that's what I tend to do.
00:49:45.519 --> 00:49:46.000
I love it.
00:49:46.079 --> 00:49:52.159
And you just remind me, something else I do just to like whether I'm anxious or if I need to just calm myself down.
00:49:52.400 --> 00:50:11.679
Obviously, not everybody can do this, but I've got two pit bulls who are very sweet and love their mama, and I will just go shove my face into their necks and like breathe in their sweet puppy smell and like match my breathing to theirs.
00:50:11.920 --> 00:50:24.800
Yes, and like it always, and there is, I think there, you know, I have seen articles and things about how having a pet or petting a dog or even a cat is some very good for the nervous system.
00:50:25.039 --> 00:50:26.320
Yeah, it is, absolutely.
00:50:26.639 --> 00:50:40.639
So, and if you're allergic to things like a big fluffy pillow, yeah, you know, or or if you can go to a cat cafe if you can't have a pet yourself, or like go um go visit the dogs in the shelter or the cats in the shelter, you know.
00:50:40.719 --> 00:50:45.519
Like if you just need to calm your rage, go get covered by some kittens.
00:50:46.239 --> 00:50:47.760
Yes, except for me, I can't do that.
00:50:47.840 --> 00:50:48.639
I'm so allergic.
00:50:48.880 --> 00:50:54.079
I'm wicked allergic to cats too, but I will bury myself in a pile of dogs.
00:50:54.320 --> 00:50:54.719
Yes.
00:50:54.960 --> 00:50:55.760
Oh, 100%.
00:50:56.159 --> 00:50:56.880
I love that.
00:50:57.119 --> 00:50:59.679
Um, well, let's see what we got in the chat.
00:51:00.639 --> 00:51:02.800
We have our hottie happy hour going on.
00:51:02.960 --> 00:51:06.480
Um and what are you all drinking like while you're with us, by the way?
00:51:06.639 --> 00:51:08.960
And Megan says that's why hugs are so great.
00:51:09.119 --> 00:51:10.559
Yeah, because of that, exactly.
00:51:10.639 --> 00:51:23.039
That is actually a somatic exercise to put one hand on your shoulder and and cross your arms, one hand on the side of your of your belly, and like just like hold yourself.
00:51:23.199 --> 00:51:29.519
And if you close your eyes and do some deep breathing, your body doesn't know that that's not someone else hugging you.
00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:34.960
Yeah, it feels just as sticky and uncomfortable as it does when someone else hugs me.
00:51:36.559 --> 00:51:41.119
Well, maybe with your ice vest you can do hug your ice vest.
00:51:41.280 --> 00:51:43.280
Actually, I do love a good, I do love a good hug.
00:51:43.360 --> 00:51:44.880
I'm just really hot right now.
00:51:45.039 --> 00:51:46.800
I know, I know, you poor thing.
00:51:47.039 --> 00:51:50.480
Um, but yeah, animal centering for the win, Colleen says.
00:51:50.639 --> 00:51:52.960
So I'm going back to check the the chat.
00:51:53.119 --> 00:51:59.599
Um at the very beginning, right before we started, said, we'll be with you in a hot flash.
00:52:02.480 --> 00:52:03.920
Oh my gosh, we love it.
00:52:04.559 --> 00:52:07.119
Sometimes I know it's awesome.
00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:09.599
Susan Susudio is in the chat.
00:52:09.760 --> 00:52:11.039
We've got Lindsay.
00:52:11.280 --> 00:52:13.840
Susan said baby steps, hashtag baby steps.
00:52:14.000 --> 00:52:16.320
Um, Babs Wired is here.
00:52:16.480 --> 00:52:21.119
Uh so Babs Wired and I go way back.
00:52:21.679 --> 00:52:26.400
Um, I played her daughter when I was 23 and she was 35.
00:52:27.519 --> 00:52:28.880
How is that real?
00:52:29.199 --> 00:52:31.599
But she's tall and I'm short, so that works.
00:52:32.400 --> 00:52:34.400
But I love you, Babs.
00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:34.880
I love you.
00:52:34.960 --> 00:52:36.480
I'm so happy you're here.
00:52:36.639 --> 00:52:37.840
Um, Lindsay's here.
00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:39.599
ADHD and new doctor's appointments.
00:52:39.679 --> 00:52:42.079
Are there any magnesium supplements that are not giant pills?
00:52:42.159 --> 00:52:43.119
We talked about that.
00:52:43.360 --> 00:52:47.199
Um, Kate says it's good to have a brownie ready to go in any event.
00:52:47.360 --> 00:52:50.159
I think we've covered most of the brownies.
00:52:50.559 --> 00:52:50.800
Yes.
00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:51.920
Oh, Kate.
00:52:52.320 --> 00:52:53.519
Oh my gosh, Kate.
00:52:53.599 --> 00:52:57.519
If you have a good brownie recipe, I know she's got good soup recipes.
00:52:57.679 --> 00:52:59.679
She's like the soup maker.
00:52:59.920 --> 00:53:03.840
Um, but uh she has uh Kate, can I give you a shout-out?
00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:07.599
She's got um uh a Substack called Scratch.
00:53:08.159 --> 00:53:11.920
And um, yeah, and Kate used to write for the Washington Post when it was good.
00:53:12.159 --> 00:53:17.440
And uh now she has her own um her own uh Substack called Scratch.
00:53:17.519 --> 00:53:24.960
So everybody go follow Kate Cohen on Substack uh and follow her um her her Substack called Scratch.
00:53:25.360 --> 00:53:36.719
Um and it's uh it's all about Kate, you can tell talk about more, but as I understand it, it's all about like you know, making how the human experience is all about creating stuff.
00:53:36.880 --> 00:53:45.920
And we are in an increasingly AI world, and and it's important to to create things from nothing.
00:53:46.239 --> 00:53:57.119
Um Jennifer McCool says, and smells, everything smells horrible to me now, including myself and especially my husband, dude.
00:53:57.760 --> 00:54:02.960
Jennifer, the amount of times I've curled into bed with my husband and I've been like, your pizza ripe.
00:54:03.039 --> 00:54:04.000
Did you shower today?
00:54:04.079 --> 00:54:04.800
Oh my god.
00:54:04.960 --> 00:54:07.039
And he's like, they really don't smell, Dominique.
00:54:07.119 --> 00:54:10.159
And I'm like, Well, uh, I beg to differ.
00:54:10.400 --> 00:54:11.920
That's debatable, friend.
00:54:12.239 --> 00:54:14.079
You're just nose blind to yourself.
00:54:14.239 --> 00:54:16.320
Yeah, I'm like, yeah, but I agree.
00:54:16.480 --> 00:54:22.800
My my sense of smell has heightened in a way, but it's like everything smells bad.
00:54:23.039 --> 00:54:23.360
Yeah.
00:54:23.599 --> 00:54:26.400
And it adds to making me feel nauseous as well.
00:54:26.559 --> 00:54:27.840
Oh, that's the worst.
00:54:28.079 --> 00:54:29.519
Oh man, Jennifer.
00:54:30.079 --> 00:54:37.280
My husband says, by the way, that women make better somolies because we have a better sense of, we have a better scent palette to begin with.
00:54:37.679 --> 00:54:48.400
So once we get to menopause and perimenopause, we it's just, you know, it started off good and now it's extra good for bad stuff.
00:54:48.480 --> 00:54:53.519
That's so does that mean we should all also get certified as somoliers as like an alternative?
00:54:54.320 --> 00:54:55.199
I think we should.
00:54:55.679 --> 00:54:59.760
I'd be okay with getting paid to sip, sniff, and sip wine.
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:00.559
Yeah, right.
00:55:01.119 --> 00:55:04.400
The waistline's already expanding, might as well have some fun.
00:55:04.719 --> 00:55:05.599
The thickening.
00:55:05.840 --> 00:55:08.480
The thickening, the thickening's happening.
00:55:08.800 --> 00:55:09.519
Oh my god.
00:55:09.599 --> 00:55:18.800
You talked about like how how uh somebody said my pants not fitting right was like the uh the the thing that did it for her rage.
00:55:19.039 --> 00:55:25.599
I swear to god, if I have to buy any more new pants because my old ones don't fit, I am going to punch something.
00:55:25.760 --> 00:55:27.280
Like, yeah, yeah.
00:55:27.840 --> 00:55:28.639
So frustrating.
00:55:28.880 --> 00:55:29.519
It's awful.
00:55:29.760 --> 00:55:30.880
It's real, it's real.
00:55:31.119 --> 00:55:31.440
Yeah.
00:55:31.519 --> 00:55:35.039
Uh Lindsay says, for what it's worth, my doctors have been really great.
00:55:35.199 --> 00:55:39.039
It just seems like no one knows jack about perimenopause, and that's true.
00:55:39.280 --> 00:55:52.800
Because as we've said on the podcast before, women were not allowed to be involved, women of of potential childbearing age were not allowed to participate in uh clinical trials until 1993.
00:55:53.599 --> 00:55:54.480
93.
00:55:55.280 --> 00:55:56.559
That's so fucked.
00:55:56.719 --> 00:55:57.119
Yeah.
00:55:57.760 --> 00:55:58.960
So yeah.
00:55:59.280 --> 00:56:00.800
Um let's see here.
00:56:00.960 --> 00:56:02.320
Uh, yeah, so that's it.
00:56:02.719 --> 00:56:08.960
Hotties, do you do any of you have any um any questions uh for anything?
00:56:09.199 --> 00:56:10.639
We can uh move on.
00:56:10.800 --> 00:56:13.599
Do you have any books, by the way, Dom?
00:56:13.679 --> 00:56:16.480
Uh or articles or blogs we want to recommend?
00:56:16.639 --> 00:56:22.480
Um, I I talked about that amazing YouTube video that I will go ahead and uh and add.
00:56:23.199 --> 00:56:31.519
I'm wondering, Marnie, if there is a particular podcast that perhaps we
want to recommend as a preview.
00:56:32.719 --> 00:56:33.280
Yes.
00:56:34.000 --> 00:56:36.800
As I think preview.
00:56:37.280 --> 00:56:38.880
I think we should.
00:56:39.519 --> 00:56:43.199
So um one of the we'll go back to the Hodis and Chief recommendations.
00:56:43.519 --> 00:57:01.280
One of the things that has helped me a lot is uh vaginal estrogen and estradiol, like a um a bio, like a bioidentical hormone estradiol cream made by a company that is called Parlor Games.
00:57:01.440 --> 00:57:10.639
And their um their founder, Kate Wells, is going to be joining us on the podcast on episode eight.
00:57:10.960 --> 00:57:11.920
I am so excited.
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:14.159
We're gonna be talking about dryness everywhere.
00:57:14.320 --> 00:57:17.199
And thank you to Parlor Games and Kate Wells.
00:57:17.280 --> 00:57:22.880
Um, we will try to get you all a discount code for Parlor Games so that you can try it.
00:57:23.039 --> 00:57:30.480
I I love um that one of their creams that I use, and it's like it's like happy peach.
00:57:30.639 --> 00:57:33.599
Oh my god, I've got a uh happy peach.
00:57:34.880 --> 00:57:35.760
It's peachy something.
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:36.480
Peachy.
00:57:36.960 --> 00:57:37.920
Yeah, thank you.
00:57:38.000 --> 00:57:41.199
Uh, by the way, this episode sponsored by Brainfog.
00:57:41.519 --> 00:57:45.840
Um show notes are for.
00:57:46.000 --> 00:57:50.960
Yeah, it's Parlergames.com.
00:57:51.280 --> 00:57:52.159
Peachy Cream?
00:57:52.800 --> 00:57:53.760
Peachy Cream.
00:57:53.840 --> 00:57:54.800
Oh, god damn it.
00:57:55.039 --> 00:58:05.119
Um, I uh if anybody else is faster at Googling than I am when we're on this podcast, but uh um we need an assistant.
00:58:05.280 --> 00:58:08.000
It's like anyone who wants to enter with us and be an assistant.
00:58:08.159 --> 00:58:08.639
Oh my god.
00:58:08.800 --> 00:58:09.599
And do the Googling.
00:58:09.840 --> 00:58:14.559
We can really like we need a neurodivergent, a neurotypical assistant is what we need.
00:58:15.119 --> 00:58:16.880
A neurodivergent whisperer.
00:58:19.039 --> 00:58:19.920
Oh my god.
00:58:20.079 --> 00:58:20.960
Um, all right.
00:58:21.119 --> 00:58:24.400
It's it's like happy peach, happy peach, or something like that.
00:58:25.840 --> 00:58:26.960
It's gonna be in the short show notes.
00:58:27.199 --> 00:58:29.039
It's gonna be in the shorts.
00:58:29.360 --> 00:58:35.280
In preparation for also silky peach! Silky Peach, silky peach.
00:58:35.360 --> 00:59:04.800
I'm like, I I know it's like peach cream, silky peach cream, and she is uh she is a scientist, and she you know saw that there wasn't an a really great um there there wasn't a good uh nobody knew anything out there, and so she created this uh company called Parlor Games and the silky peach cream I saw on Instagram and that was how I found it.
00:59:04.960 --> 00:59:08.239
Um so silky peach cream, you gotta go check it out.
00:59:08.559 --> 00:59:18.000
Yes, check it out, and also in preparation for uh when we get to interview her and have her on the podcast.
00:59:18.320 --> 00:59:20.320
Check out her podcast.
00:59:20.559 --> 00:59:21.920
Modern menopause.
00:59:22.320 --> 00:59:23.599
Modern menopause.
00:59:23.679 --> 00:59:26.320
Check out Modern Menopause and Hotties in the chat.
00:59:26.400 --> 00:59:27.840
You are OG Hotties.
00:59:28.159 --> 00:59:31.119
You're going to be invited to be part of that conversation.
00:59:31.280 --> 00:59:37.920
We're gonna be recording and live streaming like we are right now, next Thursday at five o'clock Eastern.
00:59:38.400 --> 00:59:46.079
So mark your calendars so you can join us for that conversation and also get to chat live um in the chat with Kate.
00:59:46.239 --> 00:59:46.639
Yes.
00:59:46.800 --> 01:00:12.159
And and with the, you know, if you have any questions for how somebody comes up with this, like what what she had to learn to come up with with her own like creams and um and how she went about marketing it and find I I think this it was very similar where where she and her friends were going through it and they just you know they needed they needed help and they found their own help.
01:00:12.400 --> 01:00:15.039
So hat tip to Kate Wells.
01:00:15.280 --> 01:00:16.559
Hat tip to Kate Wells.
01:00:16.960 --> 01:00:23.119
Oh, so we were gonna talk aside from so we said books, blogs, podcasts and articles.
01:00:23.360 --> 01:00:24.239
Articles.
01:00:24.880 --> 01:00:31.920
Uh so not a book podcast or an article, but just a little note.
01:00:32.079 --> 01:00:37.360
Uh Marnie and I are like trying to be proper businesswomen and all that stuff.
01:00:37.519 --> 01:00:43.440
So I'm about to hit enter on my message, which is to sign up for our official bitches and heat.
01:00:43.760 --> 01:00:47.920
If comment has failed to post to bitches and heat podcast, never mind, fuck that.
01:00:48.239 --> 01:00:49.840
I'm gonna try it again.
01:00:50.159 --> 01:00:59.599
We have, but we have the bitches and heat podcast Gmail, and we're going to be starting to send out our emails formally from that account.
01:00:59.840 --> 01:01:04.559
And so we would love for you to opt in to receive emails from us.
01:01:04.639 --> 01:01:11.280
And what you're gonna get is not spam, you're going to just get your updates on when we're gonna be doing these live streams.
01:01:11.679 --> 01:01:15.280
So you can get your invite if you're our hottie happy hours.
01:01:15.440 --> 01:01:20.480
So you're gonna get updates on when we're gonna have special guests for the live streams.
01:01:20.639 --> 01:01:26.079
So it's really just letting you know when they're happening and what we're covering and who's gonna be joining us.
01:01:26.239 --> 01:01:33.440
Um, also, it's just gonna make us feel really happy and loved if you sign up for our mailing list.
01:01:33.679 --> 01:01:36.400
Um, I'm gonna try to send it in the chat again.
01:01:36.639 --> 01:01:38.559
But Marnie, you can keep talking while I can.
01:01:38.719 --> 01:01:39.679
Okay, I'll keep talking.
01:01:39.920 --> 01:01:51.039
But um, so if if you have any books to recommend, if you have any articles to recommend, please put them, uh, send us, you know, uh an email at bitchesandheatpodcast.com.
01:01:51.199 --> 01:01:52.960
It's important to put the podcast in there.
01:01:53.119 --> 01:01:55.360
You can DM us on any of our socials.
01:01:55.519 --> 01:02:02.000
We love to hear about your hormone horror stories and send them to us so we can share them on another episode of the podcast.
01:02:02.239 --> 01:02:02.880
Yes.
01:02:04.079 --> 01:02:10.800
So um, special thanks to our editor, John Detti, to our hotties in the chat, and to all of you joining us.
01:02:11.039 --> 01:02:14.960
And so until next time, talk to each other.
01:02:15.599 --> 01:02:18.239
Because nobody else is going to.
01:02:19.280 --> 01:02:24.400
Bitches and Heat Podcast is a co-production of Marnie Penning Narration LLC and Dom's Salvation.
01:02:24.639 --> 01:02:29.360
Dom and Marnie are not medical professionals, and their advice should not be considered as such.
01:02:29.519 --> 01:02:34.079
They're just a couple of middle-aged hotties bitching about perimenopause and everything that surrounds it.
01:02:34.320 --> 01:02:41.119
If you'd like to join us for a live recording, you can become a supporter of the podcast at Bitchesandheatpodcast.com.
01:02:41.280 --> 01:02:44.480
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01:02:44.639 --> 01:02:47.119
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01:02:47.280 --> 01:02:53.119
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If you have a suggestion for a future podcast, write to us at bitchesinheatpodcast at gmail.com or visit our website, bitchesinheatpodcast.com, to send us some fan mail.
01:03:04.079 --> 01:03:11.840
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