TRASCRIZIONE 🔗
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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert, Experts on Expert. I'm
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Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Patman.
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Hi.
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Today we have Ash, a singer-songwriter and a great guest
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at a wedding. I don't think she leads with that,
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but as someone who attended a wedding with her, I
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got to tell everyone that she is a party to
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have at your wedding.
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Great.
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If you're looking to fill some seats and she has availability,
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I would reach out. Her albums are Wilson, Ray, Ashlyn,
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and The Dream... which is with Phineas, their band, The Favors.
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And she has a new album out on the 16th
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of October called The Girl of Your Dreams, which contains
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the incredible song Stop the Wedding, which we are going
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to be lucky enough to hear.
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She sings for us, guys.
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She blows us right out of our chairs. It was
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such a treat. Please enjoy Ash.
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That one over here. Is this one good?
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Fine?
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Yeah.
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Okay, great. It's not going to bite Monica.
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Yeah, snakes.
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Slither up her butt. Up her butt.
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That's her ultimate fear.
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When they're in the toilet, those snakes, and they come
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right up your butt.
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Whoa, what?
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They're known to come.
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How often are y'all hanging out outside of this?
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Well, we're together five days a week. And then she's
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generally around before and after a bit.
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Yeah, we do some hangs before and after.
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Her best friend is on the porch at all times, Anna.
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That's right. She works for Kristen. So, you know, there's
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a lot of hanging.
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It's very incestuous.
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It is.
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I love that.
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I used to basically spend the night every night.
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Yeah. During COVID, she lived with us for quite a period.
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Just immediately post seizures.
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Yeah, I had a seizure. Whoa. Yes, and so... My mother, Kristen,
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felt like she needed to keep an eye on me.
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My mother, Kristen.
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Yeah.
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She did.
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And it was very sweet.
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If I could have her as my mother checking on me,
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I would be down.
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I recommend her as one. Needing me.
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I think she's taking new patients, actually.
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She is.
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I've grown on. You might be able to slide in there.
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Okay. Will do.
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Okay, so now the wedding. We met at a wedding,
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and I just want to tell you.
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We met at a wedding.
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We met at a wedding. I want to say from
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my perspective what happened, which was there was a rehearsal dinner.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Or what is conventionally the rehearsal dinner? The night before, right?
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I know what you're going to say.
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Okay. And I'm at a table, and I even shared
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about it on here.
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You did?
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I was positioned between polar opposites of a spectrum, like
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someone who grew up in communist Poland. And then a
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music manager who's been doing it for 30 years and
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has seen every level of depravity, right?
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Yeah, they put you in a fun spot.
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Yes, so I was bouncing back and forth between these conversations.
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And then I was randomly also glancing, because I was
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the oldest person there. I'm like, well, non-family member. I'm
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surveying who's at the other table, right? And I'm just
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kind of like going down. I'm like, I don't know.
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That person looks like they're on TV. That person looks
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like an influencer. And then all of a sudden, I
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see your little face, and you're staring directly at me.
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You mouth, as I recall, I want to meet you
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or something like that, right?
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Yeah.
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And I was like, oh, how comforting. There's all these
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Load full transcript
young people and I feel very old. And then I
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got to meet you and it was a delight on
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my end.
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That's nice.
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It was a delight to get to meet you. I
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don't know what got into me at that wedding. I
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was so social.
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How fun.
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In a way that I'm fairly introverted. I present bubbly.
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I present extroverted.
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Yes.
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But I very much am not.
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False advertising.
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Kristen's similar. It's all fake.
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Right?
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She is similar, yeah.
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I saw her at breakfast knitting.
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There you go.
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Oh, very on brand.
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Very like, what you doing over there, Kristen?
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She really likes to recharge by herself. I would say
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not even recharge, just be. She likes solo time.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, there's something special to that.
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I agree. I, once in a while, and I think
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Phineas' wedding was such a good place to do that,
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where I'm like, I'm here by myself. My husband was
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at a wedding, his best friend's wedding.
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Mr.
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Canada.
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John Canada.
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It was a house divided.
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So we had two weddings this year, and they were
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on the same day.
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Oh, wow.
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The wedding he went to was like a 30-person, tiny, private.
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In a field?
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Yes, on a cliff. That sounds long. We were at
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a different wedding.
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We were in high cotton, as they would say. Do
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you know that term?
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No.
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It means, like, things are good. Wealth is there. You know, like,
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you're highfalutin.
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Yes.
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Yeah. It's probably a very... I know.
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I probably hated that.
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If you can.
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Separate cotton production from slavery, which is certainly hard to do.
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I was like, cotton is a word we, like, I
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guess can't say anymore.
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It's a triggering word. But I do think when the
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cotton was high, that meant, like, oh, you were about
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to get paid.
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Oh.
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You know, when it's high cotton, we're about to harvest,
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and everyone's going to get paid.
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Some people are about to harvest.
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Okay, right. So, again... Somehow parse out.
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Yeah, it's hard to do. It's hard to do.
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It's challenging. There's a lot of these words that went down.
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It was a fancy wedding. It was fancy. It's certainly
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the fanciest.
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It was really nice. It was really nice.
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It was wonderful.
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Yeah, because I don't want to give the impression that
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it was ostentatious. It was not. It was just beautiful.
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Also, another reason why I felt so social is like,
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I am one of Phineas' good friends.
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Yeah.
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And I knew that these people are here because they
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love him.
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He doesn't have superficial relationships.
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Right.
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So I knew that I was safe.
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So when Jason Sudeikis is like, you know, a couple
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seats down from me, I'm like.
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Hey, buddy.
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All right, we've never met before, but we're going to
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be friends.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I felt very comfy. And so I met you and...
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I just immediately was like, oh, this guy's so down
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to earth.
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Well, thank you. The power of a wedding, which was
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really on display there. I almost could see the utility
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of weddings historically, which is you trust everyone there. We
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all love this person. This person has co-signed on all
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of us, and there's an immediate kind of trust. I
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think people were being very candid immediately.
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Yeah.
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Like that you wouldn't be in another setting, but it's
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just like, okay, these two who we trust have vetted
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everyone here. Also, I do want to say, because I
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would hate for anyone to get the wrong impression. Yeah,
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there were a couple heavy hitters there, Sudeikis being one, Biebs,
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but in a lovely way, most people were childhood friends
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from both folks.
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Yeah, I mean, you had me there.
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Yeah, how long have you, you met Phineas at 19,
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did you tell me?
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He was 19.
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He was 19.
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I was 22.
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Okay.
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I'm the big sis, for sure. We adopted each other
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pretty quickly.
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Yeah, how did you meet?
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Technically, we met in a crosswalk. We knew of each
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other and were in mid-crosswalk going like, hey.
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And then we needed to get out of traffic. But
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then we got put in a writing session a couple
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weeks later.
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At ages 22 and 19? Yeah. Okay. Who was putting
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together a writing session at those ages?
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We had managers that were at the same company.
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Oh, okay.
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So they're like, we think you guys are going to
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like each other. And I was married at the time,
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the first round.
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Yeah, this practice round.
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Yeah, the tough round. The round that made me tougher. Okay.
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Yeah, 22 is an ideal age to get married.
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Yeah, that was... Or no, actually, I was 23. I
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got married at 23. So it was then. But that
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session with Phineas, I think you meet some people that
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you immediately... I don't know what you guys feel about
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past lives.
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Oh, yeah.
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Hit us with it.
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Do you get into that?
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Well, listen, we do a lot of astrology here, which
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is not my bag, but I don't mind doing it.
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And so, yeah, I'm up for past lives.
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Let's hear it. You buy into it.
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I don't buy into your coming back as a beetle
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or a tree or whatever. Yeah, reincarnation that way. I'm
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not certain of that.
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Sure.
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I feel pretty certain because there are folks that I've met.
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And even how comfortable I was with you immediately.
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I don't know that we were best friends in a
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past life, maybe, but I think maybe we ran in.
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You were my barista. There was a comfortability there. I
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buy into that. And Phineas and I, we must have
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been like mother-son or maybe he.
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Was the mother and I was the son. You know,
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just really connected. And I've only had a few of
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those people.
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The documentary about those two had not come out yet. Right?
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About he and Billy.
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Oh, no. Billy had just put out Ocean Eyes.
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Oh, wow.
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And it was just starting to take off when we met.
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So I really got to meet him in his most
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vulnerable state.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the best time.
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When things were starting to rise. But he wasn't Phineas yet.
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Right.
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He wasn't a single name artist that everyone knows.
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No.
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And I feel really lucky that we met back then.
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Also just to have All the years that we've had.
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Under us now. But love them dearly. I loved the wedding.
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It was so fun.
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I had the best time.
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You. Hit me.
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I have to say this.
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Okay, please do.
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You and Kristen are so free.
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Thank you.
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You were on the dance floor just fine.
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Letting it rip.
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Brashing yourself around. You heard about the shirtless?
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Yeah, oh yeah.
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Yeah, well that was later in the day.
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It was hot as Hades,
right? It was a very hot,
262
00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:27.960
hot weekend.
263
00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:31.659
I thought to myself, this armchair expert episode is going
264
00:09:31.700 --> 00:09:35.659
to go so well because I have seen him half naked.
265
00:09:35.720 --> 00:09:35.940
Wow.
266
00:09:36.539 --> 00:09:39.000
And I thought, I'm good. This is going to be great.
267
00:09:39.100 --> 00:09:41.279
If he had it his way, every guest would see
268
00:09:41.340 --> 00:09:41.960
him half naked.
269
00:09:42.019 --> 00:09:44.490
Hey, now. Hey, now. Hey, now. You want to rip that.
270
00:09:44.450 --> 00:09:46.230
Shirt off any time you can.
271
00:09:46.429 --> 00:09:47.690
Well, it has to be justified.
272
00:09:47.710 --> 00:09:50.529
By the way, you were a hit. You know that
273
00:09:50.570 --> 00:09:52.269
we were all talking about it the next day, right?
274
00:09:52.429 --> 00:09:52.710
No.
275
00:09:52.809 --> 00:09:55.000
That makes me, of course, it makes me, again, I'm
276
00:09:55.009 --> 00:09:57.299
the oldest person there, so, you know.
277
00:09:57.519 --> 00:09:57.759
No!
278
00:09:57.860 --> 00:10:01.460
I mean, just objectively, of the friendship group, I'm the
279
00:10:01.500 --> 00:10:04.100
oldest one there by far. Is Jason? You were born
280
00:10:04.120 --> 00:10:06.830
the year I graduated from high school, Ash.
281
00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:09.409
Well, you look good, honey.
282
00:10:10.759 --> 00:10:13.200
Thank you, thank you. That delights me to no end,
283
00:10:13.220 --> 00:10:15.820
because I was totally comfortable, by the way. But I'm
284
00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:17.860
also very cognizant of the fact that everyone here is
285
00:10:18.080 --> 00:10:20.870
in their 20s, for the most part, or beginning of 30s.
286
00:10:20.860 --> 00:10:22.940
Did that make you uncomfortable at all? No, not at all.
287
00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:24.759
It didn't. I'm just aware of it. And then you're
288
00:10:24.799 --> 00:10:26.399
trying to gauge, like, you don't want to be the
289
00:10:26.460 --> 00:10:28.659
weird old guy at a wedding. So I'm like, this
290
00:10:28.740 --> 00:10:30.539
may be the last year of my life I could
291
00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:32.179
go shirtless here, and it's not insane.
292
00:10:33.340 --> 00:10:36.659
You are not. No one thought of you as old.
293
00:10:36.879 --> 00:10:38.059
And by the way, you're not old.
294
00:10:38.379 --> 00:10:39.480
You don't have an old energy.
295
00:10:40.019 --> 00:10:41.100
No, you're very youthful.
296
00:10:41.139 --> 00:10:44.019
Yeah, but I would say that is why they are free.
297
00:10:44.529 --> 00:10:48.570
They are older. There is a wisdom. Age frees you
298
00:10:48.629 --> 00:10:48.970
a bit.
299
00:10:48.990 --> 00:10:52.490
There's an embodiment, I feel like, correct me if I'm wrong.
300
00:10:52.730 --> 00:10:55.549
Yeah. I feel like you seem, and your wife seems
301
00:10:55.580 --> 00:10:58.340
this way as well, very certain of who you are.
302
00:10:58.500 --> 00:11:00.519
I like to think so. Yeah. I think I'm pretty
303
00:11:00.779 --> 00:11:02.440
positive who I am at this point.
304
00:11:02.539 --> 00:11:04.539
And you're probably pretty okay with that guy.
305
00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:06.980
I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had to quit a
306
00:11:07.039 --> 00:11:08.659
lot of things and do a lot of things to
307
00:11:08.700 --> 00:11:11.450
arrive here. So yeah, I like where we've landed.
308
00:11:11.470 --> 00:11:12.429
Well, and to that.
309
00:11:12.350 --> 00:11:15.129
Point, that just tells me you've worked really hard to
310
00:11:15.169 --> 00:11:18.759
get to a place where you're okay with who you are.
311
00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:19.179
Yeah.
312
00:11:19.210 --> 00:11:21.429
I'm probably proud to be that person.
313
00:11:21.470 --> 00:11:24.110
Let's be honest as well. I had exchanges with Bieber.
314
00:11:24.950 --> 00:11:29.450
I'm still self-conscious, right? In that moment, I'm aware of
315
00:11:29.549 --> 00:11:31.570
the enormous status gap.
316
00:11:32.210 --> 00:11:33.269
Yeah.
317
00:11:33.350 --> 00:11:36.080
It's an objective. I understand he lives in a different
318
00:11:36.100 --> 00:11:38.519
world than me. He has the pressure of if he
319
00:11:38.600 --> 00:11:41.220
is close to you, you're thinking about that he's close
320
00:11:41.259 --> 00:11:44.840
to you, right? That's an alienating and an isolating experience.
321
00:11:45.580 --> 00:11:47.039
that I don't have to deal with.
322
00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:50.299
That's not an enviable position. I don't ever want to
323
00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:53.419
be in a space where the whole room is hyper
324
00:11:53.460 --> 00:11:57.179
aware that I'm there and is kind of half looking.
325
00:11:57.259 --> 00:11:59.519
That's too much pressure on any person.
326
00:11:59.620 --> 00:12:01.990
No, I think that's why I kind of never looked
327
00:12:02.139 --> 00:12:06.110
in his direction. I was like, let's not make him feel, yeah.
328
00:12:07.100 --> 00:12:10.460
The story I told myself was that you guys were
329
00:12:10.779 --> 00:12:14.519
all at his bungalow partying.
330
00:12:14.539 --> 00:12:16.340
This is great.
331
00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:18.799
Playing music, his music.
332
00:12:18.899 --> 00:12:19.720
Oh, really?
333
00:12:19.759 --> 00:12:22.500
Because you guys, I think we're maybe next to each other.
334
00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:23.500
I didn't even know that.
335
00:12:23.570 --> 00:12:25.889
I'm not a stalker. I just saw you guys at
336
00:12:25.909 --> 00:12:27.970
some point going. We're all neighbors. Yeah, yeah.
337
00:12:28.370 --> 00:12:32.029
I thought I heard you laugh and I heard Bieber laugh.
338
00:12:32.889 --> 00:12:34.450
Music. And so I thought you guys.
339
00:12:34.590 --> 00:12:35.049
Oh, I wish.
340
00:12:35.169 --> 00:12:36.850
I thought y'all were very close.
341
00:12:37.009 --> 00:12:39.370
No, that was my first time talking to him in
342
00:12:39.409 --> 00:12:40.049
real
life.
343
00:12:40.269 --> 00:12:42.059
Isn't that funny? We're all doing that.
344
00:12:42.080 --> 00:12:42.419
Yes.
345
00:12:42.460 --> 00:12:43.659
We all have groups.
346
00:12:43.720 --> 00:12:46.700
Yeah, we're all making assumptions about other people and their
347
00:12:46.740 --> 00:12:49.279
relationships and where we stand and all that. Oh, it's
348
00:12:49.340 --> 00:12:50.059
so interesting.
349
00:12:50.220 --> 00:12:52.340
It's like the grand social experiment.
350
00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:52.879
It is.
351
00:12:53.120 --> 00:12:55.409
Yeah, and you're kind of... At least I was. I
352
00:12:55.450 --> 00:13:00.350
was qualifying my position there. Why do I get to
353
00:13:00.389 --> 00:13:03.629
be here in this very... special moment of their lives.
354
00:13:03.809 --> 00:13:06.470
And why do they get, who's that motherfucker here?
355
00:13:06.490 --> 00:13:08.730
Why do they deserve to be here? You know, I
356
00:13:08.750 --> 00:13:10.230
was very psychoanalyzing it.
357
00:13:10.330 --> 00:13:11.309
Well, we're little monkeys.
358
00:13:11.450 --> 00:13:11.750
We are.
359
00:13:11.950 --> 00:13:13.710
And we're in a little group of people. And then
360
00:13:13.769 --> 00:13:17.710
like status is undeniably on the table and obvious. Like again,
361
00:13:17.850 --> 00:13:20.409
if Bieber's there, that is what it is.
362
00:13:20.860 --> 00:13:21.149
Yeah.
363
00:13:21.340 --> 00:13:23.039
My heart goes out to him because I would have
364
00:13:23.080 --> 00:13:26.100
a really hard time in that situation. It would be
365
00:13:26.139 --> 00:13:27.000
really hard for me.
366
00:13:27.220 --> 00:13:27.539
Yeah.
367
00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:28.500
I think Monica's right.
368
00:13:28.519 --> 00:13:31.820
I don't think it's an enviable position and hard to
369
00:13:31.899 --> 00:13:35.720
relate to others. Like we're relating to each other, the
370
00:13:35.820 --> 00:13:38.379
experience of being there and a little nervous and like,
371
00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:39.299
does this person.
372
00:13:39.059 --> 00:13:40.480
Know who I am or they don't?
373
00:13:40.559 --> 00:13:40.759
Yes.
374
00:13:41.179 --> 00:13:42.950
He had a completely, I can only guess.
375
00:13:43.019 --> 00:13:45.889
He'd be stupid to not assume every person there knew
376
00:13:45.909 --> 00:13:46.350
who he was.
377
00:13:46.570 --> 00:13:47.090
Totally.
378
00:13:47.110 --> 00:13:50.139
Okay. I want to know about San Jose. Take me
379
00:13:50.179 --> 00:13:55.529
to San Jose, 1993. You're born... Wow. You are so cute.
380
00:13:55.889 --> 00:13:57.460
Isn't she the cutest?
381
00:13:57.549 --> 00:13:59.600
And two things I want to say about... And I
382
00:13:59.740 --> 00:14:04.080
never do this. I never comment on... Wow. I'll take it.
383
00:14:04.139 --> 00:14:04.860
It's nice.
384
00:14:05.220 --> 00:14:05.940
It is, of course.
385
00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:08.799
No, you're so beautiful. You remind me of Lincoln.
386
00:14:09.940 --> 00:14:11.480
Oh,
sure.
387
00:14:11.500 --> 00:14:13.840
His oldest daughter.
388
00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:14.679
Yeah.
389
00:14:14.759 --> 00:14:16.059
Maybe that's why you like me.
390
00:14:16.080 --> 00:14:17.419
I think you're really likable.
391
00:14:17.460 --> 00:14:17.990
That's why I like you.
392
00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:19.899
Yeah, you are very likable. But you guys have a
393
00:14:20.019 --> 00:14:21.059
similar energy.
394
00:14:21.080 --> 00:14:21.279
Also....
395
00:14:23.730 --> 00:14:26.370
Are you familiar with Gillian Jacobs?
396
00:14:26.409 --> 00:14:27.649
Gillian Jacobs, yes.
397
00:14:27.929 --> 00:14:29.899
Love, the show Love, that we love.
398
00:14:30.220 --> 00:14:31.059
Oh, yes.
399
00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:32.399
I love that show.
400
00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:35.570
You are her twin. Do you get this?
401
00:14:35.870 --> 00:14:36.870
I know what you're saying.
402
00:14:37.190 --> 00:14:40.690
I've never gotten that. I've gotten some random ones. This
403
00:14:40.710 --> 00:14:41.110
is you.
404
00:14:41.129 --> 00:14:43.809
Because I'm now permitted to join in.
405
00:14:43.830 --> 00:14:47.230
You really look like her. I will take that compliment.
406
00:14:47.450 --> 00:14:48.830
I would have gone up to her if she was
407
00:14:48.889 --> 00:14:49.590
at the wedding.
408
00:14:49.629 --> 00:14:50.230
Yeah, yeah.
409
00:14:50.289 --> 00:14:51.870
You have a history of going up to people.
410
00:14:52.049 --> 00:14:52.990
You know my Margot Robbie story?
411
00:14:53.090 --> 00:14:55.169
I do, I do, I do. Oh, you look like her, too?
412
00:14:55.269 --> 00:14:55.750
Yes.
413
00:14:56.129 --> 00:14:59.529
Oh, my God. So you went somewhere with Phineas. There's
414
00:14:59.570 --> 00:15:01.769
a really funny backstory in this, which is Phineas has
415
00:15:01.809 --> 00:15:03.809
already written the Barbie song, and it's already won an
416
00:15:03.850 --> 00:15:06.710
Academy Award, and he's never met Margot Robbie. Right?
417
00:15:06.750 --> 00:15:07.450
Yeah, loser.
418
00:15:07.470 --> 00:15:10.460
Yeah. You guys go to a barbecue together and she's there?
419
00:15:10.480 --> 00:15:11.200
Is that the story?
420
00:15:11.460 --> 00:15:12.620
It was a Halloween party.
421
00:15:12.659 --> 00:15:13.580
Oh, Halloween party.
422
00:15:13.620 --> 00:15:14.059
Yeah.
423
00:15:14.259 --> 00:15:15.419
I was Marie Antoinette.
424
00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:16.240
Marie Antoinette.
425
00:15:16.259 --> 00:15:19.220
I had like the beehive and the whole thing and
426
00:15:19.360 --> 00:15:20.840
the blood across my neck.
427
00:15:21.100 --> 00:15:25.500
I looked good as hell. I had a couple drinks.
428
00:15:25.720 --> 00:15:26.159
Sure.
429
00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:26.480
Yeah, yeah.
430
00:15:26.740 --> 00:15:32.750
I saw her and I just thought, why not?
431
00:15:32.850 --> 00:15:33.190
Yeah.
432
00:15:33.250 --> 00:15:33.750
Just go.
433
00:15:33.789 --> 00:15:36.970
Go up to her. You got nothing to lose. You do.
434
00:15:36.990 --> 00:15:37.049
Oh.
435
00:15:38.110 --> 00:15:39.809
You have everything to lose.
436
00:15:39.889 --> 00:15:41.909
No, you're right. You have nothing to lose.
437
00:15:41.990 --> 00:15:45.899
There's no harm in asking. There's harm in asking. I'm
438
00:15:45.940 --> 00:15:48.240
finding that a lot recently. This is such a tangent,
439
00:15:48.340 --> 00:15:51.710
but people will ask me for something. Sometimes there is harm.
440
00:15:51.730 --> 00:15:54.840
Like- Even messaging you the other day, I was like,
441
00:15:54.919 --> 00:15:58.149
if I ask him this question and he's uncomfortable, it
442
00:15:58.169 --> 00:15:59.169
puts you on the spot.
443
00:15:59.370 --> 00:16:02.029
There could be harm in that. It's nerve wracking.
444
00:16:02.049 --> 00:16:03.009
I'm the perfect person.
445
00:16:03.309 --> 00:16:05.669
I did feel like there's enough of a kinship.
446
00:16:05.250 --> 00:16:06.190
Where I was like, hey, hey, hey.
447
00:16:06.409 --> 00:16:08.029
I was flattered to be asked to be in her video.
448
00:16:08.230 --> 00:16:10.129
That's what she asked me to do. Oh, that's so flattering.
449
00:16:10.149 --> 00:16:11.330
I don't know if I should bring that.
450
00:16:11.389 --> 00:16:14.240
I'm recording two mom's cars that day, back to back
451
00:16:14.379 --> 00:16:16.419
on Saturday. And I have the kids and no wife.
452
00:16:16.539 --> 00:16:17.840
So you can't do it? Yeah, can't do it.
453
00:16:17.980 --> 00:16:18.620
He's a very.
454
00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:23.399
Well, that's so flattering to ask someone that. But also,
455
00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:26.460
I agree with you that some asks are too much.
456
00:16:26.620 --> 00:16:28.970
They like change your perception of somebody.
457
00:16:29.149 --> 00:16:33.269
When someone asks you something that you don't want or
458
00:16:33.570 --> 00:16:36.509
feel like is probably was an inappropriate ask of you.
459
00:16:36.950 --> 00:16:40.179
My approach now is I completely ignore it. Like I
460
00:16:40.220 --> 00:16:42.360
refuse to let you put me in a position where
461
00:16:42.500 --> 00:16:45.000
I've got to now. Explain to you why I don't
462
00:16:45.019 --> 00:16:46.940
want to do it. Be uncomfortable. You be uncomfortable. The
463
00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:49.720
whole thing is like you made this mistake and it's
464
00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:52.159
not mine to deal with. And so I just fucking
465
00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:54.899
ignore it. If it's something that I think is crossing
466
00:16:54.950 --> 00:16:56.470
the line or it's just too murky and I don't
467
00:16:56.490 --> 00:16:58.330
want to deal with it, I feel emboldened to just
468
00:16:58.889 --> 00:17:00.990
pretend it never happened. It's on them.
469
00:17:01.169 --> 00:17:02.590
I think that's incredible advice.
470
00:17:02.990 --> 00:17:05.410
I don't know you to be in this crazy, uncomfortable situation.
471
00:17:05.720 --> 00:17:07.839
Because we have our phones on us all the time,
472
00:17:07.880 -->
00:17:11.200
I think people assume that they have access to us,
473
00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:14.039
free access. And I feel like I've been learning this
474
00:17:14.140 --> 00:17:16.720
in the last couple years. And I think Finn has
475
00:17:17.380 --> 00:17:22.519
helped me with this. But no one has permission to
476
00:17:22.839 --> 00:17:26.289
my access without me saying, hey, yes. So if you
477
00:17:26.309 --> 00:17:28.529
happen to have my number, which now you do.
478
00:17:28.630 --> 00:17:28.809
I do.
479
00:17:29.890 --> 00:17:33.789
If you text me or call me, great, but I
480
00:17:33.950 --> 00:17:36.779
haven't just given you permission to have access to me
481
00:17:37.140 --> 00:17:39.180
every single moment of the day.
482
00:17:39.299 --> 00:17:41.400
And if I text you at some point and say,
483
00:17:41.460 --> 00:17:45.059
my daughter loves the wedding song, she wants to hear
484
00:17:45.079 --> 00:17:47.200
it on her birthday, will you leave her a message? Mm-hmm.
485
00:17:47.660 --> 00:17:48.240
Ignore that.
486
00:17:48.480 --> 00:17:48.960
Ignore it.
487
00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:49.059
Yeah.
488
00:17:49.180 --> 00:17:50.119
What are you talking about?
489
00:17:50.339 --> 00:17:51.539
Or if it's for Lincoln.
490
00:17:52.339 --> 00:17:52.640
Okay.
491
00:17:52.940 --> 00:17:55.609
But think of the example. But if like I'm asking
492
00:17:55.650 --> 00:18:00.640
you to be an on-demand organ grinder monkey for my amusement,
493
00:18:00.660 --> 00:18:01.680
you just ignore it.
494
00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:02.779
Yeah.
495
00:18:03.019 --> 00:18:04.440
Because they're not going to have the balls to bring
496
00:18:04.480 --> 00:18:04.849
it back up.
497
00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:06.440
You're also a man.
498
00:18:06.460 --> 00:18:07.259
I sure am.
499
00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:09.940
Do you feel like, I'm curious if you feel a
500
00:18:09.960 --> 00:18:13.690
different experience that as women, I feel like I've a
501
00:18:13.710 --> 00:18:16.470
little bit had to, if you don't respond, then you're
502
00:18:16.490 --> 00:18:17.190
a bitch.
503
00:18:17.190 --> 00:18:18.190
100%.
504
00:18:18.190 --> 00:18:18.990
You feel that way?
505
00:18:19.170 --> 00:18:22.069
I like that advice. I wouldn't feel comfortable ignoring.
506
00:18:22.250 --> 00:18:23.690
I do think it's great advice, by the way.
507
00:18:23.950 --> 00:18:26.000
For years I confronted it. I would go like, you
508
00:18:26.039 --> 00:18:27.940
know what? I don't think this is like a fair
509
00:18:28.099 --> 00:18:30.640
ask of me. But now I'm in a debate with you.
510
00:18:30.680 --> 00:18:33.500
They get defensive. This is like six exchanges that I
511
00:18:33.569 --> 00:18:35.490
don't deserve to have to do.
512
00:18:35.970 --> 00:18:40.410
And that's also an option. You can be like truthful
513
00:18:40.470 --> 00:18:44.299
and say this is inappropriate. Or you can do the
514
00:18:44.450 --> 00:18:47.700
really easy thing, which is just say, hey, I'm sorry
515
00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:48.160
I can't.
516
00:18:48.529 --> 00:18:48.940
No, thanks.
517
00:18:48.980 --> 00:18:49.730
You can lie.
518
00:18:49.829 --> 00:18:52.630
You can lie. Or it's actually not a lie. You
519
00:18:52.809 --> 00:18:56.849
can't because you saying yes would not make you feel good, right?
520
00:18:56.910 --> 00:18:59.069
So you can just say, oh, I'm so sorry. I
521
00:18:59.109 --> 00:18:59.849
can't do that.
522
00:19:00.410 --> 00:19:01.130
Period.
523
00:19:01.359 --> 00:19:04.660
And then that does go away. But you've responded, honestly,
524
00:19:04.700 --> 00:19:05.539
with a boundary.
525
00:19:05.779 --> 00:19:07.680
Bo, do you think they would interpret that as I
526
00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:10.799
can't do it, period? Like, oh, right, she's on her period.
527
00:19:10.819 --> 00:19:12.480
That's why she can't do it.
528
00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:13.220
Well, I probably am.
529
00:19:13.960 --> 00:19:15.160
Yes, you are.
530
00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:16.799
In that way, it's honest, too.
531
00:19:16.859 --> 00:19:18.200
If it's the luteal phase.
532
00:19:18.339 --> 00:19:19.400
Yeah. I can't, period.
533
00:19:19.420 --> 00:19:21.880
We're always on our period, okay? You get like one
534
00:19:21.940 --> 00:19:22.339
week free.
535
00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:24.859
We are always in our luteal phase, by the way.
536
00:19:24.900 --> 00:19:28.690
You're actually, guys, I'm ovulating today. Do I feel magnetic?
537
00:19:28.750 --> 00:19:29.930
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
538
00:19:29.950 --> 00:19:30.509
You're glowing.
539
00:19:30.549 --> 00:19:31.329
Fertile.
540
00:19:31.490 --> 00:19:31.829
Fertile.
541
00:19:31.869 --> 00:19:35.029
You're catching me on such a good day. Tomorrow, it
542
00:19:35.069 --> 00:19:35.750
all changes.
543
00:19:36.049 --> 00:19:37.069
I now have the app.
544
00:19:37.869 --> 00:19:38.890
You do, to follow.
545
00:19:38.910 --> 00:19:39.329
Flow.
546
00:19:39.730 --> 00:19:40.250
Flow?
547
00:19:40.990 --> 00:19:41.450
Yes.
548
00:19:41.630 --> 00:19:44.809
And I have Flow for Partner. Yeah, and if I
549
00:19:44.930 --> 00:19:47.450
open it, and I'm not gonna say who I got
550
00:19:47.470 --> 00:19:49.250
it for, there's just a lot of women in my life,
551
00:19:49.269 --> 00:19:50.589
let's just say, and I have it.
552
00:19:51.720 --> 00:19:52.900
You didn't get it for your wife?
553
00:19:53.000 --> 00:19:54.500
This will get cut up. I have daughters that I
554
00:19:54.539 --> 00:19:57.200
need to know, too, if they're on another planet. Yeah.
555
00:19:57.279 --> 00:19:57.980
So at any rate.
556
00:19:58.279 --> 00:19:59.519
All on one app?
557
00:19:59.720 --> 00:20:02.380
Well, no. We started it with.
558
00:20:02.420 --> 00:20:04.000
Like a shared calendar?
559
00:20:04.180 --> 00:20:05.119
I think that's genius.
560
00:20:05.220 --> 00:20:07.079
But at any rate, yes, I opened it. I've only
561
00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:08.700
used it a couple times. I happen to be a
562
00:20:08.759 --> 00:20:10.799
hero of this one. I opened it, and it said,
563
00:20:10.839 --> 00:20:14.019
you know, your partner's four days out. Offer her a
564
00:20:14.119 --> 00:20:17.180
substantial meal. Well, the night before, I had made the
565
00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:22.170
most enormous batch of spaghetti that was exceedingly substantial. And
566
00:20:22.250 --> 00:20:24.750
I was like, look at this. I'm fucking ahead of sketch.
567
00:20:24.789 --> 00:20:25.569
Isn't that crazy?
568
00:20:25.609 --> 00:20:26.430
It gives you tips?
569
00:20:26.630 --> 00:20:27.309
Yes.
570
00:20:27.410 --> 00:20:30.000
You were like locked into the cycle already.
571
00:20:30.019 --> 00:20:32.319
I somehow subconsciously knew it was time to prepare a
572
00:20:32.359 --> 00:20:35.349
substantial meal the night before. Genius.
573
00:20:35.869 --> 00:20:39.430
I recently had my IUD taken out about four months ago.
574
00:20:39.609 --> 00:20:41.509
We're not ready to have a baby today. I have
575
00:20:41.529 --> 00:20:42.269
a hit song right now.
576
00:20:42.450 --> 00:20:42.930
Yeah.
577
00:20:42.990 --> 00:20:43.230
You're busy.
578
00:20:43.259 --> 00:20:45.470
We're working on that first.
579
00:20:45.630 --> 00:20:48.400
But next year, I was like, well, I want to
580
00:20:48.460 --> 00:20:51.180
make sure my body is ready when that time comes.
581
00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:52.720
Now you want to get in that natural rhythm there
582
00:20:52.759 --> 00:20:53.259
for a minute.
583
00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:53.759
Yeah.
584
00:20:53.839 --> 00:20:57.440
And I never had PCOS when I first hit puberty
585
00:20:57.539 --> 00:20:59.859
and then when I went off birth control pill for
586
00:20:59.859 --> 00:21:03.420
10 years, which is now famously horrible for you.
587
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:03.519
Yeah.
588
00:21:05.009 --> 00:21:06.009
For 10 years?
589
00:21:06.109 --> 00:21:07.430
I was on it for a long time, too.
590
00:21:07.630 --> 00:21:10.059
Really? Very long. Are you natural now?
591
00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:11.059
Well, I got off it.
592
00:21:11.079 --> 00:21:12.660
Is that your personal question? No, it's fine. You do
593
00:21:12.680 --> 00:21:13.299
not have to answer that.
594
00:21:13.339 --> 00:21:13.759
No, of course.
595
00:21:14.079 --> 00:21:15.140
I froze my eggs.
596
00:21:17.859 --> 00:21:18.799
How many eggs you got?
597
00:21:18.940 --> 00:21:21.160
Oh, I don't have very many. I'll tell you that.
598
00:21:21.180 --> 00:21:21.799
Girl.
599
00:21:22.299 --> 00:21:25.589
I froze my eggs. And actually, this is important because
600
00:21:25.960 --> 00:21:27.890
I refused to get off birth control. I was like,
601
00:21:28.029 --> 00:21:31.130
I'm not getting off birth control just to freeze my eggs.
602
00:21:31.190 --> 00:21:33.390
This is part of my daily life. I need it.
603
00:21:33.470 --> 00:21:35.089
I need it for X, Y, and Z, blah, blah, blah.
604
00:21:35.109 --> 00:21:36.930
Even though the doctors were like, it's probably going to
605
00:21:36.970 --> 00:21:38.329
be better for you if you get off of it
606
00:21:38.369 --> 00:21:40.630
for a couple months. I'm like, I'm not. I didn't.
607
00:21:41.549 --> 00:21:43.089
And then that went horribly.
608
00:21:43.109 --> 00:21:45.019
You didn't get off it.
609
00:21:45.390 --> 00:21:46.789
I did not get off. I got off of it
610
00:21:46.829 --> 00:21:49.960
like the month before. And then I did the retrieval.
611
00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:53.960
And then I got two eggs, which is not ideal.
612
00:21:54.220 --> 00:21:55.799
And then I did it again. And so then I
613
00:21:55.819 --> 00:21:57.619
was like, oh, fuck. Okay, I should probably do it again.
614
00:21:57.700 --> 00:22:00.660
And I will stay off the birth control. So I
615
00:22:00.680 --> 00:22:02.700
was off of it for a year. I did it again.
616
00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:05.029
And it was a better result. Still wasn't amazing, but
617
00:22:05.140 --> 00:22:05.789
it was better.
618
00:22:05.809 --> 00:22:05.890
Good.
619
00:22:06.349 --> 00:22:08.450
So it is important to be off of it for
620
00:22:08.470 --> 00:22:08.869
a little bit.
621
00:22:08.890 --> 00:22:10.329
I think your body... This is so crazy. I have
622
00:22:10.410 --> 00:22:11.869
no idea how old you are.
623
00:22:11.869 --> 00:22:11.930
39.
624
00:22:11.910 --> 00:22:14.430
You look so what?
625
00:22:14.569 --> 00:22:16.630
Thank you.
626
00:22:16.930 --> 00:22:20.700
I mean, could be 20s for sure.
627
00:22:20.779 --> 00:22:22.799
I will take it. I'm not going to.
628
00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:26.420
I was graduating. She was in kindergarten when you were born.
629
00:22:26.460 --> 00:22:27.170
Yeah, I was.
630
00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:27.259
Yeah.
631
00:22:27.500 --> 00:22:28.759
Wow, those are really good genes.
632
00:22:28.779 --> 00:22:29.339
Kindergarten.
633
00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:29.740
Thank you.
634
00:22:29.759 --> 00:22:33.359
Kindergarten. But yeah, congratulations on making that choice. That's so.
635
00:22:34.309 --> 00:22:37.250
intimidating and scary, and I'm glad the second round was better.
636
00:22:37.269 --> 00:22:37.789
She made a.
637
00:22:37.769 --> 00:22:40.970
Whole podcast about it, which is phenomenal, called Race to 35.
638
00:22:40.970 --> 00:22:42.430
I will be listening to that.
639
00:22:42.450 --> 00:22:42.759
Thank you.
640
00:22:42.769 --> 00:22:44.470
Yeah, I did it with a friend, and we went
641
00:22:44.509 --> 00:22:45.450
through every day.
642
00:22:45.470 --> 00:22:45.539
Wow.
643
00:22:45.559 --> 00:22:46.950
We're feeling what we're doing.
644
00:22:46.990 --> 00:22:48.900
We talked a lot. I'm 33.
645
00:22:48.900 --> 00:22:50.019
This is a great time.
646
00:22:50.039 --> 00:22:54.180
We're in that window where I'm like, let's get all
647
00:22:54.220 --> 00:22:57.579
the tests done. Phineas actually told me to do the,
648
00:22:57.740 --> 00:23:00.579
is it genome, where you get your blood tested.
649
00:23:00.099 --> 00:23:02.589
And see if you
have any of the Yeah, some
650
00:23:02.609 --> 00:23:05.309
of the stuff. Diseases. I had nothing.
651
00:23:05.329 --> 00:23:06.049
Amazing.
652
00:23:06.279 --> 00:23:08.339
And now my husband doesn't have to do it because
653
00:23:08.839 --> 00:23:09.359
our kids won't.
654
00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:12.400
You need recessive and he has a recessive.
655
00:23:12.420 --> 00:23:13.220
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
656
00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:14.779
How did we get here? This is what we do.
657
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:15.410
This is what we do.
658
00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:17.400
You guys are really good conversationalists.
659
00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:19.440
Oh, Margot Robbie is how we got here.
660
00:23:19.460 --> 00:23:20.039
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
661
00:23:20.059 --> 00:23:21.880
Which I, by the way, haven't told the story yet.
662
00:23:21.940 --> 00:23:23.400
I know, I know. Earmarked.
663
00:23:23.589 --> 00:23:25.029
It's okay. We don't know what to talk about.
664
00:23:25.049 --> 00:23:26.230
No, we have to. Let's go back.
665
00:23:26.329 --> 00:23:27.450
So, okay, you approach her.
666
00:23:27.509 --> 00:23:29.809
Why did I bring up the IUD again? Oh, oh,
667
00:23:29.890 --> 00:23:30.549
the cycle.
668
00:23:31.509 --> 00:23:33.089
I am ADHD.
669
00:23:33.569 --> 00:23:34.789
Hi, guys.
670
00:23:34.809 --> 00:23:35.630
We all are.
671
00:23:35.670 --> 00:23:36.880
We are.
672
00:23:36.890 --> 00:23:39.640
I want to get to a normal place, and now
673
00:23:39.700 --> 00:23:44.200
I'm starting to, but I've never experienced the full range
674
00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:47.680
of the female scope until the last four months.
675
00:23:47.759 --> 00:23:48.279
Yeah.
676
00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:51.450
How's that going? Wow. What are the highs? What are
677
00:23:51.470 --> 00:23:51.869
the lows?
678
00:23:52.069 --> 00:23:56.779
I genuinely feel this week of your ovulating, I feel
679
00:23:56.819 --> 00:23:57.619
more magnetic.
680
00:23:57.680 --> 00:24:00.630
I feel more social. I feel funnier.
681
00:24:00.650 --> 00:24:01.829
You're open to mating.
682
00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:04.299
I would like to make it.
683
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:05.869
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
684
00:24:06.269 --> 00:24:10.690
I have found people attractive this week that I've never.
685
00:24:11.130 --> 00:24:12.529
Oh, God.
686
00:24:12.630 --> 00:24:14.349
That's great. I love my husband.
687
00:24:14.470 --> 00:24:17.039
He would be fine with me saying this. But, whoa,
688
00:24:17.670 --> 00:24:20.200
this week hits and you're like, oh, my God. Has
689
00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:21.839
he always been that good looking?
690
00:24:22.019 --> 00:24:22.759
I don't think so.
691
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:24.039
This is great.
692
00:24:24.619 --> 00:24:26.519
But then two days from now, I will be.
693
00:24:26.539 --> 00:24:26.619
Yeah.
694
00:24:27.190 --> 00:24:28.190
Everyone will be disgusting.
695
00:24:28.490 --> 00:24:31.170
Anyways, it's just interesting. Margot Robbie was great.
696
00:24:31.359 --> 00:24:33.559
Okay, I know how it started because we were wondering
697
00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:35.859
if there's bad questions. That's where it all started. Then
698
00:24:35.980 --> 00:24:39.240
it turned into, yes. So, yes, you see her. You
699
00:24:39.259 --> 00:24:41.299
decide I'm going in. You've had a couple drinks. You
700
00:24:41.339 --> 00:24:42.720
approach her and what do you.
701
00:24:44.259 --> 00:24:44.400
Say?
702
00:24:44.420 --> 00:24:48.130
I say, hi, so sometimes people say that we kind
703
00:24:48.150 --> 00:24:51.849
of look alike, which is the worst thing you could
704
00:24:51.890 --> 00:24:55.490
say to Margot Robbie. Because she's one of the most
705
00:24:55.529 --> 00:24:58.150
beautiful people on the planet. She is, but you do.
706
00:24:58.369 --> 00:25:00.390
How did she respond? Let's first find out the answer
707
00:25:00.410 --> 00:25:01.930
to that. Because I think it went well.
708
00:25:02.130 --> 00:25:05.000
It went so well. Well, because she's lovely. And she
709
00:25:05.059 --> 00:25:06.279
said we should start a band.
710
00:25:06.640 --> 00:25:08.019
Great response.
711
00:25:08.359 --> 00:25:11.329
So cute. Oh, and then she said she has a
712
00:25:11.380 --> 00:25:12.910
cousin who looks like.
713
00:25:13.539 --> 00:25:14.220
Us. Oh.
714
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:15.789
Oh, my God.
715
00:25:15.829 --> 00:25:17.289
Just three of you.
716
00:25:17.309 --> 00:25:19.569
So she was like, well, rope my cousin in. I
717
00:25:19.589 --> 00:25:21.250
think it was cousin. It could have been someone else.
718
00:25:21.390 --> 00:25:22.130
The triplets.
719
00:25:22.170 --> 00:25:24.910
I think you can get Gillian involved. We got a
720
00:25:25.029 --> 00:25:26.009
real something going on.
721
00:25:26.210 --> 00:25:26.730
Okay.
722
00:25:26.950 --> 00:25:27.410
Genius.
723
00:25:27.730 --> 00:25:29.400
This is what a friend of mine did.
724
00:25:29.420 --> 00:25:29.819
Okay.
725
00:25:29.839 --> 00:25:32.700
So my friend Scott Johnson constantly got told he looked
726
00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:35.880
like Kiefer Sutherland all through our 20s. And lo and behold,
727
00:25:35.960 --> 00:25:38.940
he's at a bar drinking one night in Koreatown, and
728
00:25:39.009 --> 00:25:42.390
he goes into the bathroom and fucking... Kiefer Sutherland is
729
00:25:42.410 --> 00:25:43.440
standing in front of the mirror.
730
00:25:43.720 --> 00:25:45.119
Like 24?
731
00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:49.460
Well, Scotty at this point is probably 30. That's who
732
00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:50.200
he is.
733
00:25:50.420 --> 00:25:51.339
Of the show.
734
00:25:51.420 --> 00:25:55.569
Oh, sorry. He's the actor, Kiefer Sutherland. And Scotty saddles
735
00:25:55.630 --> 00:25:57.069
up next to him at the sink and he goes,
736
00:25:58.029 --> 00:26:00.069
you must get so fucking sick of people telling you
737
00:26:00.089 --> 00:26:04.759
you look like Scott Johnson. Which pulled him over, yes.
738
00:26:05.619 -->
00:26:08.619
He started laughing. They went and drank together. And then
739
00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:10.640
Scotty went back to his house and they partied all night.
740
00:26:11.160 --> 00:26:11.509
Oh.
741
00:26:11.849 --> 00:26:13.269
That's such a funny way to say it.
742
00:26:13.309 --> 00:26:15.250
That is the best possible way for that to go.
743
00:26:15.450 --> 00:26:17.430
But I think that's the move. Instead of telling people
744
00:26:17.490 --> 00:26:18.900
that you look like them, do you say you.
745
00:26:18.930 --> 00:26:20.869
It's tricky, though, because you have to look so much.
746
00:26:20.910 --> 00:26:22.049
And he does look a lot.
747
00:26:22.089 --> 00:26:25.730
You do have to. But reminder, liquid courage was involved.
748
00:26:25.750 --> 00:26:25.970
Yes.
749
00:26:26.170 --> 00:26:27.150
I would not have said.
750
00:26:27.910 --> 00:26:30.490
I thought it was a cute connecting moment.
751
00:26:30.690 --> 00:26:31.210
It was.
752
00:26:31.289 --> 00:26:32.650
Luckily, she was great.
753
00:26:33.069 --> 00:26:34.089
I guarantee she agrees.
754
00:26:34.309 --> 00:26:40.380
This is my best story. There's no way she remembers
755
00:26:40.460 --> 00:26:40.980
this story.
756
00:26:41.019 --> 00:26:42.460
Also, she's like, we should start a band. You should
757
00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:44.960
have been like, do you know how to sing? I do.
758
00:26:46.250 --> 00:26:48.630
You could have really turned it, you know? You really
759
00:26:48.650 --> 00:26:50.470
could have made me.
760
00:26:50.990 --> 00:26:53.890
And then I, no, the way I turned it, I said,
761
00:26:54.430 --> 00:26:55.799
I'm here with my friend Phineas.
762
00:26:56.460 --> 00:27:00.220
She introduces Margo to Phineas, who Phineas has already done
763
00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:00.799
the Barbie talk.
764
00:27:00.819 --> 00:27:02.559
We haven't met yet. And I was like, do you
765
00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:05.269
want to meet my guy, my friend?
766
00:27:05.309 --> 00:27:05.700
Love it.
767
00:27:05.750 --> 00:27:07.490
So I go over to Phineas and I'm like, hey,
768
00:27:07.549 --> 00:27:08.509
do you want to meet Margo?
769
00:27:10.130 --> 00:27:11.950
And he's like, we're in a band together.
770
00:27:11.970 --> 00:27:13.970
Do you want to meet my bandmate, Margo?
771
00:27:14.269 --> 00:27:17.619
He was probably mortified. I don't think so.
772
00:27:17.630 --> 00:27:18.150
This poor guy.
773
00:27:18.470 --> 00:27:21.240
I have put him through the ringer. But you know what?
774
00:27:21.460 --> 00:27:22.049
It's good for him.
775
00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:23.299
It's good for him.
776
00:27:23.400 --> 00:27:24.180
Yeah.
777
00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:31.079
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert. If you dare.
778
00:27:31.559 --> 00:27:35.650
We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save
779
00:27:35.670 --> 00:27:39.000
you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if the movie
780
00:27:39.059 --> 00:27:41.900
is sold out before you show up. You
drove across town,
781
00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:44.180
found parking, got in line, and now the person behind
782
00:27:44.200 --> 00:27:46.980
the counter is giving you that look. Sold out. Guess
783
00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:50.519
you're watching whatever starts in 10 minutes. Yeah, checking first
784
00:27:50.640 --> 00:27:53.390
is an excellent idea. So check Allstate first for an
785
00:27:53.509 --> 00:27:56.309
auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good
786
00:27:56.349 --> 00:27:59.549
hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions,
787
00:27:59.609 --> 00:28:09.700
and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Okay,
788
00:28:10.079 --> 00:28:11.180
San Jose. Oh, yeah.
789
00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:12.059
Wow.
790
00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:13.940
Tell me the vibe growing up in the 90s. How
791
00:28:14.089 --> 00:28:16.990
many siblings do you have? I know about your brother.
792
00:28:17.009 --> 00:28:18.410
Yeah, I had one older brother.
793
00:28:18.650 --> 00:28:19.049
Okay.
794
00:28:19.089 --> 00:28:21.329
Just the two of us. I was the baby. But
795
00:28:21.390 --> 00:28:22.529
I was the older child.
796
00:28:22.970 --> 00:28:31.690
He was the super artsy, free spirit, push the boundaries, rebel, addict,
797
00:28:31.890 --> 00:28:33.349
and intense personality.
798
00:28:33.750 --> 00:28:34.529
Also just.
799
00:28:36.190 --> 00:28:39.089
Loves to have, like, just will pull everyone in and
800
00:28:39.130 --> 00:28:42.069
then their whole heart will get wrapped up and then
801
00:28:42.349 --> 00:28:45.650
they can't save that person. Then they fall apart.
802
00:28:45.789 --> 00:28:47.630
Was he a good big brother? Did he look out
803
00:28:47.670 --> 00:28:47.970
for you?
804
00:28:48.190 --> 00:28:49.230
He was a great big brother.
805
00:28:49.289 --> 00:28:49.690
He was.
806
00:28:50.119 --> 00:28:53.740
Yeah, he was really special. For context, he died in 2020.
807
00:28:53.740 --> 00:28:54.700
I'm so sorry.
808
00:28:54.779 --> 00:28:55.259
Thank you.
809
00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:56.579
To add to an already great year.
810
00:28:57.130 --> 00:28:57.670
Yeah.
811
00:28:58.150 --> 00:29:00.880
Well, in my career, I had the song Moral of
812
00:29:00.900 --> 00:29:03.299
the Story. It was like the first song of my
813
00:29:03.359 --> 00:29:05.440
career that kind of changed the trajectory.
814
00:29:05.460 --> 00:29:07.619
It's on the Netflix movie, All.
815
00:29:07.779 --> 00:29:09.130
To All the Boys I Loved Before.
816
00:29:09.150 --> 00:29:11.210
To All the Boys. Yes, this kind of breaks out.
817
00:29:11.650 --> 00:29:14.769
Yeah, it was definitely the breakout moment. And that was
818
00:29:14.869 --> 00:29:20.869
in February. Then the song's taking off. We're booking radio tours,
819
00:29:21.109 --> 00:29:28.009
March hits, COVID. Then September 11th, my brother dies, heroin overdose.
820
00:29:28.109 --> 00:29:31.190
And it was just the
most insane, which this is
821
00:29:31.230 --> 00:29:34.410
an interesting, I'd be so curious to get y'all's advice
822
00:29:34.630 --> 00:29:40.339
about this topic. I'm going through a similar time. of
823
00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:44.240
my career where there's one song taken off and there's
824
00:29:44.299 --> 00:29:45.299
this success.
825
00:29:46.660 --> 00:29:47.559
My body.
826
00:29:47.579 --> 00:29:49.319
Is waiting for disaster.
827
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:53.220
I'm in like, what is it called? Having a trauma
828
00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:56.660
response to it. My nerve endings are pretty fried.
829
00:29:56.680 --> 00:29:56.880
Right.
830
00:29:57.529 --> 00:29:59.390
I think it's good that I'm catching you at this
831
00:29:59.579 --> 00:30:00.119
point of my.
832
00:30:00.099 --> 00:30:03.059
Cycle because I kind of feel as boosted up as
833
00:30:03.140 --> 00:30:03.559
I can.
834
00:30:03.579 --> 00:30:03.660
Yeah.
835
00:30:04.420 --> 00:30:07.900
But my nervous system is really shot right now.
836
00:30:08.109 --> 00:30:09.269
I'm not surprised.
837
00:30:09.730 --> 00:30:11.910
So what do I do?
838
00:30:12.150 --> 00:30:13.769
I would be guessing, I don't know you well enough,
839
00:30:13.849 --> 00:30:19.210
but my guess would be that this pattern actually predates 2020.
840
00:30:19.210 --> 00:30:22.299
in life when things got good did the floor fall
841
00:30:22.380 --> 00:30:24.799
out in childhood a lot the floor fell out for
842
00:30:24.839 --> 00:30:27.619
me often right we were moving houses a lot you
843
00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:30.140
know things were happening a lot so every time something
844
00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:33.029
was good it was like for how long you just
845
00:30:33.089 --> 00:30:34.549
always thought for how long.
846
00:30:34.450 --> 00:30:37.710
That's what life is living with an addict though always
847
00:30:37.849 --> 00:30:40.710
for your whole life is it's a high their high
848
00:30:40.730 --> 00:30:42.950
is also your high because they're like happy and they're
849
00:30:43.009 --> 00:30:46.509
fun and they're like loving and then there's a crash
850
00:30:46.630 --> 00:30:49.650
out at some point. So there's some like, okay, they're
851
00:30:49.690 --> 00:30:52.170
in this phase, so that means this other phase is
852
00:30:52.210 --> 00:30:52.930
about to come.
853
00:30:52.950 --> 00:30:54.039
The luteal phase is around the corner.
854
00:30:54.079 --> 00:30:55.740
Yeah, the luteal's.
855
00:30:55.519 --> 00:30:58.200
On its way. They're ovulating, but they can't ovulate forever.
856
00:30:58.220 --> 00:30:59.700
Yeah, but it's coming.
857
00:30:59.839 --> 00:31:01.160
You grow to live like that.
858
00:31:01.180 --> 00:31:01.539
Yeah.
859
00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:06.680
My dad was severely bipolar, which really hit when I
860
00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:11.519
was eight. So there was like a big shift then,
861
00:31:11.539 --> 00:31:14.720
which I've always said I'm so grateful that zero to seven,
862
00:31:14.779 --> 00:31:18.529
those are the most informative years those were actually fairly
863
00:31:18.829 --> 00:31:24.450
stable and then seven on everything shattered there was so
864
00:31:24.490 --> 00:31:27.970
much trauma that my little body didn't know what to
865
00:31:28.019 --> 00:31:30.839
do with all of it yeah i've done so much
866
00:31:30.930 --> 00:31:35.319
therapy for sure and emdr and trying to tap into
867
00:31:35.400 --> 00:31:40.460
it i'm definitely the healthiest version now today But there
868
00:31:40.519 --> 00:31:43.700
is stuff that lives there that you're just ready for
869
00:31:43.779 --> 00:31:45.059
the rug to be pulled out.
870
00:31:45.380 --> 00:31:49.049
Well, your brain is formatted. You create neural networks. You
871
00:31:49.089 --> 00:31:52.269
have a higher arousal setting. I have a higher arousal setting.
872
00:31:52.289 --> 00:31:54.849
There's only a lot of physiological things that you will
873
00:31:54.910 --> 00:31:58.509
continue for life. Yeah. You're likely more prone to an
874
00:31:58.549 --> 00:32:01.890
autoimmune disease. You know, there's a lot of predictable stuff.
875
00:32:02.200 --> 00:32:06.569
My husband has had no trauma ever. And I wouldn't
876
00:32:06.609 --> 00:32:09.369
wish any of it on him. But, you know, I'm
877
00:32:09.450 --> 00:32:11.890
explaining some of this to him. And it is really
878
00:32:11.970 --> 00:32:16.220
hard for him to totally wrap his head around that.
879
00:32:16.359 --> 00:32:20.140
Because when he's experienced moments of excitement in his life,
880
00:32:20.279 --> 00:32:21.559
it's just excitement.
881
00:32:21.779 --> 00:32:21.920
Right.
882
00:32:22.500 --> 00:32:24.849
And I've actually met more people like that than not.
883
00:32:24.890 --> 00:32:27.670
And I think when I meet someone like you that
884
00:32:28.329 --> 00:32:32.829
can understand or relate... There is like a connection there.
885
00:32:33.150 --> 00:32:38.579
I think the thing we're all trying to get to is, yeah,
886
00:32:38.599 --> 00:32:40.180
the shoe's going to drop. By the way, the shoe
887
00:32:40.220 --> 00:32:42.319
drops for everybody, right? If someone you love is going
888
00:32:42.339 --> 00:32:44.230
to die, all these things are going to happen.
889
00:32:44.670 --> 00:32:44.869
Yeah.
890
00:32:44.890 --> 00:32:47.569
I think what you and I can get stuck in
891
00:32:47.670 --> 00:32:51.160
is there was a period where we didn't have the
892
00:32:51.299 --> 00:32:54.619
agency to deal with the fallout of these other people.
893
00:32:54.920 --> 00:32:57.660
And we still think we don't. And the truth is, yeah,
894
00:32:57.720 --> 00:33:00.210
something's going to go bad, but also you'll be able
895
00:33:00.250 --> 00:33:03.029
to handle it. You're living with the fear that you
896
00:33:03.049 --> 00:33:08.150
will be incapable of handling whatever comes as if you're seven,
897
00:33:08.390 --> 00:33:08.859
but you're not.
898
00:33:09.599 -->
00:33:09.799
Yeah.
899
00:33:09.900 --> 00:33:13.400
You're not seven. You're 33. You're a gangster. You're prolific.
900
00:33:13.660 --> 00:33:16.809
You're creative. You will handle whatever comes your way. So
901
00:33:16.849 --> 00:33:19.529
I think the thing is trying to right size this
902
00:33:19.769 --> 00:33:22.470
fear of like, yeah, what's going to happen that I
903
00:33:22.529 --> 00:33:24.170
can't handle, but you can handle it.
904
00:33:24.519 --> 00:33:24.630
Yeah.
905
00:33:24.650 --> 00:33:28.339
It's just learning to recognize you're not eight.
906
00:33:29.180 --> 00:33:31.799
What helps you recognize you're not eight? What helped you
907
00:33:31.839 --> 00:33:32.720
sort of reprogram?
908
00:33:33.359 --> 00:33:36.140
I had a situation where my mom was newly dating
909
00:33:36.180 --> 00:33:38.720
again at 70 or whatever. She had had this wonderful
910
00:33:38.740 --> 00:33:41.599
husband and he passed and I adored him. And then
911
00:33:41.880 --> 00:33:43.740
all of a sudden there was a new boyfriend coming
912
00:33:43.940 --> 00:33:47.089
to my house to visit when she came to visit.
913
00:33:47.269 --> 00:33:49.329
And I first was like, no, you can't. How long
914
00:33:49.349 --> 00:33:50.470
have you been with this dude? No, I don't want
915
00:33:50.509 --> 00:33:51.170
a dude in my house.
916
00:33:51.230 --> 00:33:51.450
Right.
917
00:33:51.690 --> 00:33:53.829
And I had three or four days where I was
918
00:33:53.869 --> 00:33:55.650
just like, it was off the table. No, you can't
919
00:33:55.819 --> 00:33:57.400
bring a guy I've not met to my house. I
920
00:33:57.400 --> 00:33:58.579
have children, blah, blah, blah.
921
00:33:58.619 --> 00:33:59.200
Yeah, fair.
922
00:33:59.240 --> 00:34:02.529
And about four days went by and I was like, oh.
923
00:34:02.950 --> 00:34:05.190
You think you're 10 and if this guy comes and
924
00:34:05.230 --> 00:34:07.289
you don't want him to leave, he won't leave.
925
00:34:07.309 --> 00:34:08.150
You have to protect.
926
00:34:08.289 --> 00:34:12.090
You're an adult man who I'm sure physically can remove
927
00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:15.500
the guy. You're not in danger, right? Even if she's
928
00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:19.579
chosen wrong again and the pattern's here again, I'm not
929
00:34:19.599 --> 00:34:22.340
eight anymore. And I called her back up and I
930
00:34:22.380 --> 00:34:24.639
was like, I'm fine. Bring him. And if I want
931
00:34:24.659 --> 00:34:25.900
him to leave, I'm going to tell him to leave.
932
00:34:26.860 --> 00:34:27.519
Good for you.
933
00:34:27.639 --> 00:34:29.219
It didn't go great. And I did end up talking
934
00:34:29.239 --> 00:34:32.699
to the guy. And so that was, that was.
935
00:34:32.719 --> 00:34:36.360
It was good proof for me that I was like, oh, right.
936
00:34:36.579 --> 00:34:38.659
I'm an adult that can take care of myself. Yeah,
937
00:34:38.679 --> 00:34:40.050
and if I don't like the guy, I'll tell the guy.
938
00:34:40.199
--> 00:34:43.469
I've been saying the phrase, I am safe in the
939
00:34:43.530 --> 00:34:46.489
life I've created for myself every morning.
940
00:34:46.750 --> 00:34:47.769
Yeah, that helps.
941
00:34:47.809 --> 00:34:48.630
That's helping.
942
00:34:48.949 --> 00:34:50.849
Also, I think there's a little bit of, what's the
943
00:34:50.929 --> 00:34:54.230
phrase where you miss... I am about to start my period,
944
00:34:54.250 --> 00:34:55.210
so I don't.
945
00:34:54.989 --> 00:34:57.429
Have a brain. Oh, that's the wart those days.
946
00:34:57.530 --> 00:34:58.730
It's a bad, it's bad.
947
00:34:58.929 --> 00:35:00.230
I got all the options here today.
948
00:35:00.610 --> 00:35:03.030
You really do. You're welcome.
949
00:35:03.349 --> 00:35:06.639
I think what Dax said is like, yeah, this is life.
950
00:35:06.699 --> 00:35:09.280
Bad stuff will happen. That's inevitable.
951
00:35:09.300 --> 00:35:09.519
Yeah.
952
00:35:09.539 --> 00:35:13.599
But it's not, Because of the good thing. They're not
953
00:35:13.619 --> 00:35:14.000
tied together.
954
00:35:14.019 --> 00:35:15.340
That was going to happen anyways.
955
00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:16.219
Yeah.
956
00:35:16.260 --> 00:35:18.159
You just happen to have a good thing happening.
957
00:35:18.239 --> 00:35:19.260
Bad things happen.
958
00:35:19.320 --> 00:35:20.420
It's coincidental.
959
00:35:20.460 --> 00:35:21.800
It's attribution error.
960
00:35:22.579 --> 00:35:24.420
Ah, attribution error syndrome. I got there.
961
00:35:24.519 --> 00:35:26.659
Attribution error. It's not because of that.
962
00:35:26.840 --> 00:35:28.590
You are, look at you. I did it. Right before
963
00:35:28.610 --> 00:35:29.090
your period.
964
00:35:29.110 --> 00:35:35.550
Where she started this moment. The flies show up. You
965
00:35:35.590 --> 00:35:36.230
can call the flies.
966
00:35:36.389 --> 00:35:37.130
It's really inappropriate.
967
00:35:37.190 --> 00:35:38.949
Is it okay that I have my shoes up? Yes.
968
00:35:39.010 --> 00:35:40.719
Is that inappropriate? Okay.
969
00:35:40.760 --> 00:35:44.019
But it's like decoupling those two things. Bad stuff happens.
970
00:35:44.519 --> 00:35:46.619
Good stuff happens. They're not related.
971
00:35:47.179 --> 00:35:51.059
That's really great. Decoupling is a good word for it.
972
00:35:51.360 --> 00:35:55.039
I also think an additional thing that's likely on the table.
973
00:35:55.519 --> 00:35:57.510
So there's that thing. There's like, well, I won't be
974
00:35:57.530 --> 00:35:59.949
able to handle this thing. I'm so terrified of what's coming.
975
00:35:59.989 --> 00:36:02.449
I can feel something's coming. I'm not capable of handling
976
00:36:02.510 --> 00:36:04.590
a challenge, which you are. That's one issue. I think
977
00:36:04.650 --> 00:36:07.630
another one which I suffer from is I don't deserve this.
978
00:36:07.909 --> 00:36:10.659
I'm not worthy of this. I'm an imposter and the
979
00:36:10.739 --> 00:36:14.159
universe is going to smite me immediately if I'm mistaken
980
00:36:14.179 --> 00:36:18.469
for being worthy of this. And that's the internal self-love part.
981
00:36:19.340 --> 00:36:22.739
And I hate to report what got me through that
982
00:36:22.920 --> 00:36:26.179
mostly is just having children, I hate to say, because
983
00:36:26.760 --> 00:36:32.329
I found such an identity and so much esteem in
984
00:36:32.429 --> 00:36:35.369
my role as a dad that I feel so worthy
985
00:36:35.429 --> 00:36:38.730
of all things now because I just found this bedrock
986
00:36:38.769 --> 00:36:41.110
of esteem for me. I know that's not for everyone,
987
00:36:41.159 --> 00:36:42.460
but for me, that's how it was.
988
00:36:42.619 --> 00:36:46.139
That's really profound. There's always that in the back.
989
00:36:46.550 --> 00:36:52.639
It's much more subconscious now. My conscious brain knows I'm great.
990
00:36:53.559 --> 00:36:58.199
And I feel it's a waste of my time to
991
00:36:59.659 --> 00:37:04.090
believe that I'm not worthy of what's coming.
992
00:37:04.730 --> 00:37:06.630
And even more dangerous, if you think you're not worthy,
993
00:37:06.670 --> 00:37:07.710
you will prove you're not worthy.
994
00:37:07.730 --> 00:37:09.710
Yeah, you, like, put your own limiter on yourself, right?
995
00:37:09.730 --> 00:37:12.389
You'll put out a piece of shit somehow. Like, your brain,
996
00:37:12.409 --> 00:37:16.750
your weird subconscious will be like, let's prove I'm right. Yeah.
997
00:37:17.090 --> 00:37:19.659
And then you'll make some shortcut that normally you wouldn't.
998
00:37:19.699 --> 00:37:23.099
Or you do some inexplicable thing that only in retrospect
999
00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:25.780
you'd go, oh, I self-sabotaged to prove I was right,
1000
00:37:25.820 --> 00:37:26.960
that I wasn't worthy of this.
1001
00:37:27.219 --> 00:37:30.019
I mean, I almost quit music altogether, had a pretty
1002
00:37:30.099 --> 00:37:33.699
big mental— nervous breakdown because it was sort of off
1003
00:37:33.739 --> 00:37:37.469
the back of the moral of the story moment and
1004
00:37:38.550 --> 00:37:41.110
my brother dying and all that trauma that I wasn't
1005
00:37:41.190 --> 00:37:43.590
dealing with and then mind you all the childhood stuff
1006
00:37:43.849 --> 00:37:46.590
that is dangerous to go near so that just gets
1007
00:37:46.630 --> 00:37:50.429
set aside as well and then we got closer and
1008
00:37:50.449 --> 00:37:54.809
closer to this big tour coming up and Every day
1009
00:37:54.849 --> 00:37:56.869
we got closer, I started having panic.
1010
00:37:56.630 --> 00:37:59.730
Attacks for the first time. Panic attacks are scary. You
1011
00:37:59.750 --> 00:38:03.300
think you're dying. Yep. Have you experienced that?
1012
00:38:03.360 --> 00:38:05.079
I used to get them a lot. I haven't had
1013
00:38:05.139 --> 00:38:06.019
one in a really long time.
1014
00:38:06.059 --> 00:38:07.280
What a horrifying.
1015
00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:07.840
They're
horrifying.
1016
00:38:07.920 --> 00:38:09.659
She's an overachiever. So, you know, when she's going to
1017
00:38:09.699 --> 00:38:11.159
have them, she's going to have them all the time.
1018
00:38:11.380 --> 00:38:15.639
Sometimes in the car, which is really fun. No, not
1019
00:38:15.679 --> 00:38:16.579
while you're driving.
1020
00:38:16.820 --> 00:38:19.760
In SoulCycle, going to pass out and fall off a bike. Yeah.
1021
00:38:20.219 --> 00:38:21.000
It was awful.
1022
00:38:21.039 --> 00:38:22.699
I mean, it was such a horrible period of time.
1023
00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:23.920
I relate. It's so bad.
1024
00:38:23.940 --> 00:38:24.360
And you do.
1025
00:38:24.380 --> 00:38:25.460
You feel like you're going to die. You understand. You
1026
00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:25.730
feel like.
1027
00:38:25.699 --> 00:38:28.150
Something's really deeply wrong with you. I went to so
1028
00:38:28.190 --> 00:38:30.389
many doctors. They're like, you have anxiety. I'm like, you
1029
00:38:30.550 --> 00:38:34.570
don't understand. If you think what I have is anxiety, like,
1030
00:38:34.610 --> 00:38:36.110
you're wrong. And it was.
1031
00:38:36.429 --> 00:38:39.909
It's born from anxiety, right? Did you see a therapist? Yes.
1032
00:38:40.230 --> 00:38:43.579
I started therapy for the first time. That helped.
1033
00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:44.139
And.
1034
00:38:44.159 --> 00:38:44.780
Whoa.
1035
00:38:44.900 --> 00:38:47.300
And I hate this answer because it's sort of an
1036
00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:51.139
external thing. But I started... nannying for them.
1037
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:54.099
Not your kids being the answer to both.
1038
00:38:54.119 --> 00:38:55.889
You want to borrow them?
1039
00:38:55.949 --> 00:38:56.340
Yeah.
1040
00:38:56.360 --> 00:38:57.670
We're blinking.
1041
00:38:57.750 --> 00:38:58.409
Yeah.
1042
00:38:58.469 --> 00:38:59.769
I need to meet these kids.
1043
00:38:59.929 --> 00:39:02.570
I mean, the kids are deeply special, but it was
1044
00:39:02.650 --> 00:39:04.469
more that I had stability.
1045
00:39:04.789 --> 00:39:05.610
Wow.
1046
00:39:05.630 --> 00:39:08.030
Because before that, I was working on SoulCycle. I was
1047
00:39:08.090 --> 00:39:10.409
babysitting all the time. I was auditioning. I was like,
1048
00:39:10.570 --> 00:39:11.929
what is my life?
1049
00:39:12.030 --> 00:39:15.449
Were you doing this at the time? Was this before armchair?
1050
00:39:15.789 --> 00:39:19.719
Yeah, way, way. So, yeah, this was 2010. When did
1051
00:39:19.739 --> 00:39:20.800
I start? I don't remember.
1052
00:39:20.820 --> 00:39:23.099
Well, Delta was born in 14, so probably 14.
1053
00:39:23.090 --> 00:39:26.170
Yeah, right around 2014 then, I guess. Wow. So, yeah,
1054
00:39:26.190 --> 00:39:27.989
I just had this job that I knew. I went
1055
00:39:28.010 --> 00:39:29.889
in the morning, and I left, and I had, like,
1056
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:30.500
more freedom.
1057
00:39:30.519 --> 00:39:31.019
Structure.
1058
00:39:31.119 --> 00:39:32.059
Is that how you met?
1059
00:39:32.619 --> 00:39:33.199
Yeah, I started.
1060
00:39:33.239 --> 00:39:36.079
Well, we met socially, and then in that social connection,
1061
00:39:36.119 --> 00:39:37.119
we found out she babysat.
1062
00:39:37.599 --> 00:39:38.260
I love that.
1063
00:39:38.380 --> 00:39:39.960
None of the kids died when she babysat.
1064
00:39:39.980 --> 00:39:42.659
They were thriving under my care.
1065
00:39:42.920 --> 00:39:43.280
Manny.
1066
00:39:43.500 --> 00:39:44.929
Yeah, they became so much smarter.
1067
00:39:45.030 --> 00:39:50.150
Darker. Darker.
1068
00:39:50.190 --> 00:39:50.710
Darker.
1069
00:39:50.849 --> 00:39:51.630
That's awesome.
1070
00:39:51.650 --> 00:39:54.550
I was giving them the panic peptide every night.
1071
00:39:54.789 --> 00:39:55.510
Anyways, San Jose.
1072
00:39:55.929 --> 00:40:02.369
Yeah. When the bipolar episodes started, it's presumed destabilizing for
1073
00:40:02.590 --> 00:40:05.300
everyone involved yet. It's a contagious condition in ways.
1074
00:40:05.380 --> 00:40:05.760
Yeah.
1075
00:40:05.989 --> 00:40:08.110
You just start feeling.
1076
00:40:07.639 --> 00:40:11.360
Like you have responsibility over it.
1077
00:40:11.699 --> 00:40:16.519
Whatever you do is in control of you. their volatility.
1078
00:40:16.679 --> 00:40:19.059
You're trying to regulate them and keep them.
1079
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:23.019
Yeah, whatever they need to make sure you're safe and
1080
00:40:23.059 --> 00:40:25.619
your mom's safe and your brother's safe.
1081
00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:27.239
Do you have an autoimmune yet?
1082
00:40:27.260 --> 00:40:29.400
Not yet.
1083
00:40:29.420 --> 00:40:30.440
That's so stressful.
1084
00:40:30.619 --> 00:40:32.659
Sort of bring this up to the nervous system thing
1085
00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:35.699
and how much of this is psychosomatic because my allergies
1086
00:40:36.230 --> 00:40:39.769
are abnormally bad and feeling like I'm getting sick all
1087
00:40:39.809 --> 00:40:40.190
the time.
1088
00:40:40.389 --> 00:40:45.090
And I'm like, I'm good. I am healthy. This shouldn't
1089
00:40:45.210 --> 00:40:48.489
be like this. It could totally be the start of
1090
00:40:48.530 --> 00:40:51.389
an autoimmune thing, but the whole body keeps the score.
1091
00:40:51.550 --> 00:40:52.130
Yeah, yeah, right.
1092
00:40:52.230 --> 00:40:54.519
It's like, I haven't read the book, but you don't
1093
00:40:54.599 --> 00:40:55.039
have to.
1094
00:40:55.059 --> 00:40:58.079
No, no need to. It's in the title.
1095
00:40:58.119 --> 00:40:59.460
Yeah, great title.
1096
00:40:59.519 --> 00:40:59.820
Yeah.
1097
00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:01.239
I almost feel bad for him.
1098
00:41:01.639 --> 00:41:01.940
I know.
1099
00:41:01.960 --> 00:41:04.539
He should have made it a little more elusive.
1100
00:41:04.900 --> 00:41:08.679
Yeah. Great book. I actually read it. It's a phenomenal book.
1101
00:41:08.960 --> 00:41:09.030
Ugh.
1102
00:41:09.519 --> 00:41:11.489
It
has some critics. No, there's like a wave of
1103
00:41:11.510 --> 00:41:13.989
criticism about it. Yeah. But at any rate, I don't
1104
00:41:14.030 --> 00:41:15.130
know how you're not an addict.
1105
00:41:16.409 --> 00:41:16.710
I know.
1106
00:41:16.889 --> 00:41:19.980
I think that I got to see. So my dad,
1107
00:41:20.260 --> 00:41:22.860
for all the wonderful things that he was and is,
1108
00:41:23.139 --> 00:41:25.650
we don't speak. But he's self-medicated.
1109
00:41:26.050 --> 00:41:30.469
And I just saw between him and my brother's story,
1110
00:41:30.489 --> 00:41:34.849
it took all the sparkly bits away from using. I'm
1111
00:41:34.909 --> 00:41:39.199
surprised alcohol didn't ever become a problem for me. It's
1112
00:41:39.260 --> 00:41:41.079
only just brought me closer to Margot Robbie.
1113
00:41:41.340 --> 00:41:44.420
Yeah. So that's a real asset, really.
1114
00:41:44.440 --> 00:41:48.019
I think that's just by the grace of God or
1115
00:41:48.159 --> 00:41:49.300
Oprah or the universe.
1116
00:41:49.400 --> 00:41:52.659
Body chemistry, probably. It's literally just probably genetically modified.
1117
00:41:52.780 --> 00:41:53.119
Yeah.
1118
00:41:53.340 --> 00:41:53.849
You don't have it.
1119
00:41:53.860 --> 00:41:56.960
Yeah, because I'll start smoking, and then I'll be like,
1120
00:41:57.239 --> 00:41:57.699
I'm good.
1121
00:41:58.079 --> 00:42:01.260
And then I cannot smoke. I do feel like that's rare.
1122
00:42:01.449 --> 00:42:04.170
Yeah, that's Kristen. When I met her, she smoked. And
1123
00:42:04.210 --> 00:42:06.280
then three months went by. And I'm like, wow, I've
1124
00:42:06.300 --> 00:42:09.280
never seen someone so effortlessly quit smoking cigarettes. And she goes,
1125
00:42:09.559 --> 00:42:10.980
I haven't quit. And I go, you haven't had a
1126
00:42:10.980 --> 00:42:12.320
cigarette in like three months. She's like, really?
1127
00:42:12.340 --> 00:42:12.840
Isn't that weird?
1128
00:42:12.860 --> 00:42:14.170
And I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
1129
00:42:14.219 --> 00:42:16.179
How could you not? All I would think about when.
1130
00:42:16.119 --> 00:42:17.590
I quit was this. Maybe I'm like your daughter because
1131
00:42:17.610 --> 00:42:18.139
I'm like her.
1132
00:42:18.159 --> 00:42:24.010
I don't know. You also start doing piano and vocal
1133
00:42:24.050 --> 00:42:26.989
lessons around the same time, I guess, the bipolar rises
1134
00:42:27.010 --> 00:42:29.650
because you're eight when you start doing all that, right? Yeah.
1135
00:42:29.829 --> 00:42:30.610
Is that a retreat?
1136
00:42:30.690 --> 00:42:33.409
Yeah, music definitely was a place to.
1137
00:42:34.239 --> 00:42:36.000
Find something that was only mine.
1138
00:42:36.019 --> 00:42:39.239
You also can exhibit control. I put my finger here,
1139
00:42:39.260 --> 00:42:39.960
this comes out.
1140
00:42:40.300 --> 00:42:45.679
Songwriting was such a novel. I get to process what's
1141
00:42:45.719 --> 00:42:48.840
going on in my life through words that no one
1142
00:42:48.900 --> 00:42:53.340
has to hear. I just wanted so badly for my
1143
00:42:53.449 --> 00:42:57.769
family to be okay that they would have never known
1144
00:42:57.809 --> 00:43:01.670
that I wasn't okay. I would have never expressed that
1145
00:43:02.829 --> 00:43:05.929
I was okay. hurting yeah or not okay or i
1146
00:43:05.969 --> 00:43:08.829
didn't know what my favorite color was everything was so
1147
00:43:08.929 --> 00:43:11.949
wrapped up in them yeah there was this one small
1148
00:43:11.989 --> 00:43:14.869
piece that was all mine and that was writing so
1149
00:43:14.909 --> 00:43:18.690
i think that definitely shaped me for sure.
1150
00:43:18.449 --> 00:43:20.739
Yeah this stuff can give you your best.
1151
00:43:20.550 --> 00:43:23.500
Hobbies your trauma yeah yeah so you.
1152
00:43:23.420 --> 00:43:25.780
Can pick up some stuff that you end up loving
1153
00:43:25.800 --> 00:43:26.840
for your life.
1154
00:43:26.920 --> 00:43:29.489
There's the healing That can come from.
1155
00:43:29.570 --> 00:43:31.909
How are you getting validated in a way that would
1156
00:43:31.969 --> 00:43:34.119
make you confident to try to get into Berkeley?
1157
00:43:36.820 --> 00:43:39.420
I don't know that I was. Things got really hairy
1158
00:43:39.460 --> 00:43:43.110
my senior year of high school. There's stories that I
1159
00:43:43.150 --> 00:43:45.289
think one day I'll be able to tell, but that
1160
00:43:45.449 --> 00:43:47.969
don't fully belong to me. So I get nervous about
1161
00:43:48.150 --> 00:43:53.119
sharing them. But our house was bombed because my brother
1162
00:43:53.159 --> 00:43:56.110
was affiliated with a gang and then our dog got shot.
1163
00:43:56.309 --> 00:43:58.030
Thing after thing after thing.
1164
00:43:58.110 --> 00:44:02.329
These are not just things. These are enormous, literally bombs.
1165
00:44:02.409 --> 00:44:07.710
Just literal bombs. Mothoff cocktail to the back of our car. Oh, man. Cortisol.
1166
00:44:07.889 --> 00:44:09.530
And that's got to be another thing.
1167
00:44:10.570 --> 00:44:14.739
My body is ready for trauma. I'm good in a crisis.
1168
00:44:14.920 --> 00:44:16.360
You want me on your team.
1169
00:44:16.519 --> 00:44:18.340
I'll go further. I get high in a crisis.
1170
00:44:18.969 --> 00:44:20.030
A hundred percent.
1171
00:44:20.050 --> 00:44:23.690
Love it. Have to keep myself from searching it out.
1172
00:44:23.739 --> 00:44:24.519
Starting a crisis.
1173
00:44:24.559 --> 00:44:26.559
Or just, I see this shit happening over there. I
1174
00:44:26.599 --> 00:44:28.019
want to run over there.
1175
00:44:28.039 --> 00:44:29.300
I just want to be involved.
1176
00:44:29.320 --> 00:44:32.659
It's a little bit of maybe a savior complex of like,
1177
00:44:32.840 --> 00:44:35.630
I'm going to save you from your trauma because I
1178
00:44:35.670 --> 00:44:36.710
know I can handle it.
1179
00:44:36.730 -->
00:44:37.190
Yeah, yeah.
1180
00:44:37.289 --> 00:44:38.510
I have years.
1181
00:44:39.250 --> 00:44:39.590
Training.
1182
00:44:39.829 --> 00:44:40.210
Of training.
1183
00:44:40.309 --> 00:44:40.949
But you're a SEAL.
1184
00:44:41.150 --> 00:44:45.050
My husband's father was diagnosed with kidney cancer this past
1185
00:44:45.110 --> 00:44:48.150
year and I was like, Ready and action.
1186
00:44:48.570 --> 00:44:51.050
Let me be. I'm going to help you guys.
1187
00:44:51.210 --> 00:44:52.949
And of course, it's like, you're going to make the
1188
00:44:52.969 --> 00:44:54.699
kidney cancer.
1189
00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:57.519
I wrote a song that I'm certain is going to
1190
00:44:58.539 --> 00:44:59.989
chase this cancer out of your kidney.
1191
00:45:02.949 --> 00:45:05.849
I've never considered that I get high from it, but
1192
00:45:05.909 --> 00:45:07.429
I think there's ego in it for sure.
1193
00:45:07.570 --> 00:45:09.900
Well, if I could defend this or be more compassionate
1194
00:45:09.940 --> 00:45:14.099
to us, again, the arousal setting got pinned. If your
1195
00:45:14.139 --> 00:45:17.719
Molotov cocktail is fucking blasting off, right? So life can
1196
00:45:17.820 --> 00:45:21.550
be a little agonizingly boring in a way. This is
1197
00:45:21.570 --> 00:45:23.769
what the dopamine seeking is. It's like you can be
1198
00:45:23.869 --> 00:45:27.750
suffering under peaceful, normal conditions, which is not your fault.
1199
00:45:27.869 --> 00:45:30.570
It's your responsibility. You got to not get yourself into shit, but.
1200
00:45:31.190 --> 00:45:34.320
But yeah, I feel very alive. All my senses work great.
1201
00:45:34.519 --> 00:45:38.679
I'm plugged in. And that elevated state is pleasurable and
1202
00:45:38.699 --> 00:45:39.800
a bit euphoric.
1203
00:45:39.960 --> 00:45:41.769
It's probably why I love being on stage.
1204
00:45:42.380 --> 00:45:45.780
My therapist was like, there's an amount of cortisol and
1205
00:45:45.820 --> 00:45:48.500
adrenaline that's released in the body on stage.
1206
00:45:48.840 --> 00:45:50.760
That's the same as going to war.
1207
00:45:51.079 --> 00:45:51.340
Surely.
1208
00:45:51.360 --> 00:45:52.800
Your body doesn't know.
1209
00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:56.699
The difference between these fans screaming at you and you're
1210
00:45:56.940 --> 00:45:57.760
fired up.
1211
00:45:57.780 --> 00:45:58.380
Yeah.
1212
00:45:58.619 --> 00:46:02.039
Yeah. Another gear kicks in and you are trained for this.
1213
00:46:02.099 --> 00:46:03.340
So this is like, yeah.
1214
00:46:03.989 --> 00:46:05.409
If people are coming to my show and they want
1215
00:46:05.429 --> 00:46:08.570
to meet me or come backstage, it has to be before.
1216
00:46:08.590 --> 00:46:11.650
Because if it's after, if it's right after, I'm still
1217
00:46:11.710 --> 00:46:12.829
in the adrenaline high.
1218
00:46:13.289 --> 00:46:16.949
But if it's like even 30 minutes after, I crash.
1219
00:46:17.170 --> 00:46:17.590
Yeah.
1220
00:46:17.690 --> 00:46:20.030
Which is not sustained.
1221
00:46:20.130 --> 00:46:21.809
I'm going to have to figure that out for this
1222
00:46:21.869 --> 00:46:23.289
next run that we're planning.
1223
00:46:23.309 --> 00:46:25.070
You're going to take some time after.
1224
00:46:25.190 --> 00:46:25.510
Why?
1225
00:46:25.530 --> 00:46:28.639
You don't know anyone anything. You're allowed to take the
1226
00:46:28.860 --> 00:46:29.980
minute to relax?
1227
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:32.579
Me staring you in the eyes like, really?
1228
00:46:32.599 --> 00:46:33.699
You're like, am I?
1229
00:46:33.820 --> 00:46:34.489
Are you sure?
1230
00:46:34.590 --> 00:46:35.280
Are you positive?
1231
00:46:35.300 --> 00:46:38.489
You're allowed to have rules. First time this is occurring.
1232
00:46:38.530 --> 00:46:40.150
Yeah, they come before. That's it.
1233
00:46:40.429 --> 00:46:43.869
I just got off the road with Benson Boone, who
1234
00:46:44.090 --> 00:46:47.610
was and is the nicest person.
1235
00:46:47.329 --> 00:46:49.190
You'll ever meet in your life.
1236
00:46:49.309 --> 00:46:49.789
Really?
1237
00:46:49.949 --> 00:46:51.610
Yeah, if you ever get the chance to have him.
1238
00:46:51.650 --> 00:46:53.929
He's a human sparkler, right? Connect us. We would love
1239
00:46:53.949 --> 00:46:55.670
to have him on. I want to do a backflip
1240
00:46:55.730 --> 00:46:59.059
off this table. And he would He has a beautiful physique.
1241
00:47:00.480 --> 00:47:01.639
He's very handsome.
1242
00:47:01.940 --> 00:47:04.500
Even when you're not ovulating.
1243
00:47:04.579 --> 00:47:07.139
Even when you're not ovulating, he's handsome.
1244
00:47:07.179 --> 00:47:09.119
He's luteal phase resistant.
1245
00:47:09.429 --> 00:47:10.730
I was in.
1246
00:47:10.690 --> 00:47:12.590
My luteal phase both times. So I was on the
1247
00:47:12.610 --> 00:47:15.510
road with him for two weeks in the luteal phase.
1248
00:47:15.969 --> 00:47:18.530
Then I got off the road, and then I, you know,
1249
00:47:19.250 --> 00:47:21.730
follicular ovulating, and I was like, man, I was on
1250
00:47:21.769 --> 00:47:23.150
tour with a handsome guy.
1251
00:47:23.210 --> 00:47:23.889
Yeah.
1252
00:47:24.409 --> 00:47:27.110
And then we had one last show of the tour.
1253
00:47:27.369 --> 00:47:29.530
He had to cancel a show. And so I came
1254
00:47:29.610 --> 00:47:32.329
in for the remake of that one. I was back
1255
00:47:32.429 --> 00:47:34.840
on my luteal. So I couldn't appreciate.
1256
00:47:34.880 --> 00:47:35.940
Wow.
1257
00:47:36.019 --> 00:47:38.280
Us men have no clue. We're like, boy, there was
1258
00:47:38.300 --> 00:47:40.619
no rhythm. I guess my hair looked bad that day.
1259
00:47:40.659 --> 00:47:43.059
When you're a young man, you have no fucking awareness
1260
00:47:43.500 --> 00:47:45.699
of that, the luteal phase. And you're just like, wait,
1261
00:47:45.739 --> 00:47:47.369
why was... She was giving me a lot of rhythm
1262
00:47:47.389 -->
00:47:50.199
last time I saw her. And now... What happened? Did
1263
00:47:50.260 --> 00:47:52.320
I get disfigured? What has happened?
1264
00:47:52.570 --> 00:47:53.449
That is so funny.
1265
00:47:53.469 --> 00:47:54.170
We have no clue.
1266
00:47:54.190 --> 00:47:55.530
Yeah, that's really tough.
1267
00:47:55.570 --> 00:47:56.690
You have so much compassion.
1268
00:47:56.710 --> 00:47:58.329
I am so, so sorry for you guys.
1269
00:47:59.190 --> 00:48:02.530
But so before he goes on stage, he prays. I
1270
00:48:02.610 --> 00:48:03.239
can't speak for him.
1271
00:48:03.250 --> 00:48:06.179
I don't know if he's so religious anymore because he
1272
00:48:06.219 --> 00:48:09.519
came backstage and he invited me to like the prayer circle.
1273
00:48:09.619 --> 00:48:09.880
Oh, fun.
1274
00:48:10.289 --> 00:48:14.079
First we dance. Everyone's twerking. And then we huddle up
1275
00:48:14.159 --> 00:48:14.800
and we pray.
1276
00:48:15.179 --> 00:48:20.590
And it was the most sweet, kind of transformative, grounding thing.
1277
00:48:20.610 --> 00:48:22.630
Ritual. And I thought, I think I'm going to start
1278
00:48:22.690 --> 00:48:24.030
praying before I go on stage.
1279
00:48:24.050 --> 00:48:27.329
Sure. I do my mantra. Really cool. So my prayer
1280
00:48:27.389 --> 00:48:29.269
is the equivalent. I meditate.
1281
00:48:29.329 --> 00:48:30.349
He's not allowed to tell us.
1282
00:48:30.360 --> 00:48:32.840
I do transcendental meditation. But you have a mantra that's
1283
00:48:32.860 --> 00:48:35.000
given to you. And that's what you say over and
1284
00:48:35.019 --> 00:48:36.360
over again in your head while you're meditating.
1285
00:48:36.579 --> 00:48:38.159
I don't want you to tell me if you don't
1286
00:48:38.179 --> 00:48:39.320
want to tell me, obviously.
1287
00:48:39.480 --> 00:48:40.320
But why?
1288
00:48:40.960 --> 00:48:41.780
Don't you share it.
1289
00:48:41.980 --> 00:48:43.840
I have no idea, but when it was given to me,
1290
00:48:43.920 --> 00:48:47.039
I was instructed to not ever tell anyone what my
1291
00:48:47.079 --> 00:48:47.659
mantra is.
1292
00:48:47.880 --> 00:48:48.860
By someone?
1293
00:48:48.900 --> 00:48:51.719
By the instructor of Transcendental Meditation.
1294
00:48:51.739 --> 00:48:53.789
It's not like a sentence. It's like a.
1295
00:48:53.780 --> 00:48:56.400
It's a word that makes no sense to me. It's
1296
00:48:56.519 --> 00:48:57.059
a sound.
1297
00:48:57.119 --> 00:48:58.699
It's like clitia or something.
1298
00:48:58.969 --> 00:49:01.179
What if I got it? Clitia?
1299
00:49:01.219 --> 00:49:04.760
You're quite far off, but yes. If anyone would get it,
1300
00:49:04.789 --> 00:49:05.289
it would be you.
1301
00:49:06.329 --> 00:49:07.030
Clitia?
1302
00:49:07.050 --> 00:49:08.130
What if it's clitia?
1303
00:49:08.150 --> 00:49:10.349
Should we bore her with our story? Mm hmm.
1304
00:49:10.510 --> 00:49:10.829
You go.
1305
00:49:11.110 --> 00:49:14.719
I'm traveling and then I'm talking
to Monica. She goes like,
1306
00:49:14.840 --> 00:49:17.059
I've been being so weird in my apartment. I'm like,
1307
00:49:17.099 --> 00:49:19.969
what's going on? She's like, I'm just fucking singing some bizarre.
1308
00:49:20.219 --> 00:49:22.820
song out loud. And I go, sing it to me.
1309
00:49:22.860 --> 00:49:25.239
She's like, no, I'm not going to sing it to you. Whatever.
1310
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:28.210
We finish up our business. I hang up. I call
1311
00:49:28.250 --> 00:49:31.559
her back in like two minutes. And I said, Yeah.
1312
00:49:31.639 --> 00:49:32.519
Is this the song?
1313
00:49:32.739 --> 00:49:33.960
I think. What?
1314
00:49:33.980 --> 00:49:36.119
I said the words are. Didn't I say the words?
1315
00:49:36.260 --> 00:49:39.349
Oh, you said I have made a song around xanthan gum. Yeah.
1316
00:49:39.469 --> 00:49:40.869
Around the word xanthan gum.
1317
00:49:41.900 --> 00:49:43.500
And I go, sing it to me. And she's like, no,
1318
00:49:43.539 --> 00:49:45.389
I'm not going to do that. I hang up. And
1319
00:49:45.409 --> 00:49:46.690
all of a sudden, it occurs to me. I call
1320
00:49:46.730 --> 00:49:50.789
her back. And when she answers, I go, xanthan gum. Da-da-da-da-da-da,
1321
00:49:50.829 --> 00:49:51.750
xanthan gum.
1322
00:49:51.789 --> 00:49:52.989
And she goes, ah!
1323
00:49:53.150 --> 00:49:55.809
And she screams so loud. It was so weird. And
1324
00:49:55.829 --> 00:50:00.320
then got paranoid. She's like, you installed my TV. Can you, like, hear?
1325
00:50:00.360 --> 00:50:00.590
Did you?
1326
00:50:00.639 --> 00:50:01.739
Yeah, I was like, did you do something with my
1327
00:50:01.820 --> 00:50:04.460
Sonos where you could hear me in my apartment?
1328
00:50:04.519 --> 00:50:08.039
So you're just that connected now after all these years.
1329
00:50:08.059 --> 00:50:09.059
I mean, it's a lot.
1330
00:50:09.099 --> 00:50:09.860
How long ago did this happen?
1331
00:50:09.920 --> 00:50:10.480
It was a very spidey.
1332
00:50:10.699 --> 00:50:13.809
Had you been working together for a while?
1333
00:50:14.130 --> 00:50:17.110
It was wild. I think, you know, circling back to
1334
00:50:17.130 --> 00:50:18.519
what you said, I was going to say it earlier,
1335
00:50:18.559 --> 00:50:21.519
but I think we've known each other in another life.
1336
00:50:21.880 --> 00:50:22.119
Yeah.
1337
00:50:22.880 --> 00:50:24.300
Oh, I can totally.
1338
00:50:24.420 --> 00:50:26.380
If I believed in other lives, I would, I would co-sign.
1339
00:50:26.400 --> 00:50:29.920
Like there's just like, oh yeah, I've known this person
1340
00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:33.059
for way longer than I've actually known him.
1341
00:50:33.079 --> 00:50:35.019
Yes. What is that?
1342
00:50:35.039 --> 00:50:36.780
And then sometimes I'm like, ooh, I wonder who you'll
1343
00:50:36.820 --> 00:50:37.639
be next time.
1344
00:50:38.840 --> 00:50:39.920
I like it in theory.
1345
00:50:40.119 --> 00:50:42.900
I think we all have some things that
are inexplicable.
1346
00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:46.719
And I think some explanations for people seem most salient.
1347
00:50:46.800 --> 00:50:50.000
Yours happens to be like, for you, that just really resonates. Like, yeah,
1348
00:50:50.059 --> 00:50:52.309
I feel like I've been here before and Again, our
1349
00:50:52.349 --> 00:50:55.369
friend Phineas. Every time I leave him, I'm like, no,
1350
00:50:55.389 --> 00:50:58.090
he's 51. He's definitely my age, or he might even
1351
00:50:58.110 --> 00:50:58.289
be 55.
1352
00:50:58.289 --> 00:50:59.829
If past lives.
1353
00:50:59.590 --> 00:51:04.650
Is real, this is his 70th time.
1354
00:51:05.070 --> 00:51:07.230
It's his dad's 80th round.
1355
00:51:08.369 --> 00:51:12.269
That's the most mature person I've ever met.
1356
00:51:12.670 --> 00:51:14.030
Okay, but back to Berkeley.
1357
00:51:14.670 --> 00:51:14.989
Oh, yeah.
1358
00:51:15.150 --> 00:51:17.820
How does one get into Berkeley? You submit, I presume?
1359
00:51:18.079 --> 00:51:19.760
I auditioned. You have to audition.
1360
00:51:19.820 --> 00:51:21.539
You fly to Boston and audition?
1361
00:51:21.780 --> 00:51:23.599
I think I drove to San Francisco.
1362
00:51:23.619 --> 00:51:23.920
Okay.
1363
00:51:24.039 --> 00:51:26.199
They have teachers that come to different cities.
1364
00:51:26.360 --> 00:51:29.000
Did my audition. I think I sang an original song.
1365
00:51:29.019 --> 00:51:31.670
So I was like, I'm a singer and I'm a songwriter.
1366
00:51:31.690 --> 00:51:33.710
And then I sang a Nora Jones.
1367
00:51:33.889 --> 00:51:35.190
I sang I Don't Know Why.
1368
00:51:35.210 --> 00:51:38.010
One of my favorites of all time. She sang for
1369
00:51:38.070 --> 00:51:38.650
us as well.
1370
00:51:38.869 --> 00:51:39.269
She did.
1371
00:51:39.630 --> 00:51:40.230
Highlighted.
1372
00:51:40.329 --> 00:51:41.489
Wait, you've had her on?
1373
00:51:41.510 --> 00:51:42.090
Yeah.
1374
00:51:42.190 --> 00:51:42.869
Early days.
1375
00:51:43.070 --> 00:51:46.170
Yeah, I'm definitely going to go listen to that after this.
1376
00:51:46.329 --> 00:51:46.829
I love her.
1377
00:51:47.050 --> 00:51:48.329
And she came and sang Christmas Jingle.
1378
00:51:48.409 --> 00:51:48.909
Oh, that's right.
1379
00:51:49.050 --> 00:51:51.989
I got a partial scholarship from that audition, and I
1380
00:51:52.050 --> 00:51:53.369
might have to owe that to her.
1381
00:51:53.389 --> 00:51:57.469
I think you owe it to yourself, but yeah.
1382
00:51:57.489 --> 00:52:00.429
Now, when you go to Boston, A, this is an
1383
00:52:00.550 --> 00:52:04.389
enormous cultural shift between San Jose and Boston. You also
1384
00:52:04.409 --> 00:52:07.949
have the weather. You're also now not around The chaos.
1385
00:52:08.210 --> 00:52:11.190
Is the experience dreamy? How do you change in those
1386
00:52:11.289 --> 00:52:12.110
four years?
1387
00:52:12.869 --> 00:52:16.280
I think it was the most rapid changing of my
1388
00:52:16.840 --> 00:52:20.179
entire
life. I don't know that I've experienced that level
1389
00:52:20.280 --> 00:52:22.519
of zhuzh since then.
1390
00:52:22.539 --> 00:52:24.019
Yeah, before or since.
1391
00:52:24.619 --> 00:52:26.239
Yeah, like, so who would you say you entered as
1392
00:52:26.280 --> 00:52:27.579
and then who did you leave as?
1393
00:52:27.820 --> 00:52:36.070
I entered as a very scared, sad, frightened, insecure person.
1394
00:52:36.659 --> 00:52:39.840
Tiny person. I was really terrified.
1395
00:52:39.860 --> 00:52:45.570
I had a vocal coach who just was begging me
1396
00:52:45.650 --> 00:52:49.570
to find pride in my voice and that I could
1397
00:52:49.929 --> 00:52:53.500
do this. And it's funny because she came to a
1398
00:52:53.559 --> 00:52:56.829
show when I was headlining And she's like, look at
1399
00:52:56.909 --> 00:52:57.949
you with.
1400
00:52:57.829 --> 00:53:00.699
All that confidence. She saw me in probably my most
1401
00:53:00.719 --> 00:53:04.900
like naked mole rat scared state. I love when she
1402
00:53:04.940 --> 00:53:07.900
comes to shows because it's like such a callback to that.
1403
00:53:07.920 --> 00:53:12.059
I left Berkeley. I moved to Nashville for songwriting.
1404
00:53:12.099 --> 00:53:15.110
That first year in Nashville was still a little insecure.
1405
00:53:15.539 --> 00:53:18.420
One of my questions is why Nashville coming out of
1406
00:53:18.460 --> 00:53:21.099
Berkeley when you could also probably go to L.A.
1407
00:53:21.159 --> 00:53:23.679
Or New York. All my friends were going to New
1408
00:53:23.699 --> 00:53:24.340
York or L.A.
1409
00:53:24.800 --> 00:53:28.880
I knew that starting my career at Ground Zero in
1410
00:53:28.940 --> 00:53:32.679
those cities was going to eat me alive. Nashville at
1411
00:53:32.719 --> 00:53:36.889
that time, I still think to an effect still is
1412
00:53:36.949 --> 00:53:40.570
this way. It's a reputation town like you make enough
1413
00:53:40.630 --> 00:53:43.389
friends there. You show people that you're talented.
1414
00:53:43.429 --> 00:53:44.650
You're a good hang.
1415
00:53:44.670 --> 00:53:44.750
Yeah.
1416
00:53:44.909 --> 00:53:47.489
You just got to be a good hang in Nashville.
1417
00:53:47.550 --> 00:53:50.389
I also think, would you agree, Nashville has a journeyman
1418
00:53:50.780 --> 00:53:52.500
structure in the old sense.
1419
00:53:52.619 --> 00:53:53.829
Earn your stripes kind of a.
1420
00:53:53.820 --> 00:53:57.219
You learn your craft. There are rungs of ladders you
1421
00:53:57.260 --> 00:54:00.280
can apply for and move up. Whereas here, it's like,
1422
00:54:00.380 --> 00:54:03.219
I don't know, be nothing and then have a viral
1423
00:54:03.260 --> 00:54:05.639
hit and be huge. I don't know what the intermediate
1424
00:54:05.699 --> 00:54:06.639
steps are here.
1425
00:54:06.900 --> 00:54:07.039
Yeah.
1426
00:54:07.059 --> 00:54:08.820
Whereas there, there's a little bit more of a journeyman.
1427
00:54:09.050 --> 00:54:11.909
I would not recommend... Go straight to L.A.
1428
00:54:12.010 --> 00:54:16.510
If you're a dreamer and you have ambitions of being anything.
1429
00:54:16.630 --> 00:54:17.289
It's hard.
1430
00:54:17.570 --> 00:54:21.329
L.A., for me, it started to warp, at least when
1431
00:54:21.469 --> 00:54:23.949
I was here. I've lived here for seven years and
1432
00:54:24.110 --> 00:54:26.150
it started to warp. I probably was not in the
1433
00:54:26.190 --> 00:54:29.050
right circles at the right time, but my story of
1434
00:54:29.090 --> 00:54:31.829
why I was doing it. Because I was around people
1435
00:54:31.869 --> 00:54:34.590
that were doing it for the wrong reasons. I just
1436
00:54:34.630 --> 00:54:38.309
saw Sally Fields did a little quick interview on the
1437
00:54:38.349 --> 00:54:40.550
red carpet. And she was like, if you want to
1438
00:54:40.590 --> 00:54:44.170
be an actor to be rich and famous, get the
1439
00:54:44.230 --> 00:54:46.809
hell out of here. That can't be the point because
1440
00:54:46.829 --> 00:54:50.389
you're going to get knocked down too many times and
1441
00:54:50.550 --> 00:54:52.639
you're not going to get back up. And I think
1442
00:54:52.739 --> 00:54:55.820
my why of why I wanted to be a music
1443
00:54:55.920 --> 00:54:57.780
artist and a songwriter.
1444
00:54:57.500 --> 00:54:59.980
Started to get a little bit warped. Yeah.
1445
00:55:00.260 --> 00:55:03.699
More about the result and less about the experience or process.
1446
00:55:03.960 --> 00:55:04.280
Yeah.
1447
00:55:04.440 --> 00:55:05.579
And so I've kind of come back.
1448
00:55:05.699 --> 00:55:08.800
Well, to Sally's point, anything short of rich and famous,
1449
00:55:08.840 --> 00:55:12.320
then nothing's enjoyable. Whereas if you love acting and you're
1450
00:55:12.340 --> 00:55:14.010
in a play, like, look, I was at the Groundlings
1451
00:55:14.050 --> 00:55:16.429
performing for free. I couldn't have been happier, right? Like,
1452
00:55:16.489 --> 00:55:18.329
I was doing a show every Sunday, and I was like, oh,
1453
00:55:18.530 --> 00:55:22.250
I love this. If the only result you're interested in
1454
00:55:22.269 --> 00:55:24.460
is Rich and Famous, like, then nothing can be enjoyed
1455
00:55:24.480 --> 00:55:25.199
until Rich and Famous.
1456
00:55:25.280 --> 00:55:28.360
And then that's not enjoyable, unfortunately, either.
1457
00:55:28.400 --> 00:55:31.280
That used to not be cool. Like, when I was
1458
00:55:31.320 --> 00:55:35.289
a kid, wanting to be rich and famous wasn't... was gross.
1459
00:55:35.690 --> 00:55:37.690
You had to pretend you didn't want that.
1460
00:55:38.030 --> 00:55:38.949
Yeah, if you.
1461
00:55:38.829 --> 00:55:41.590
Wanted that, you had to pretend you were a hipster
1462
00:55:41.610 --> 00:55:44.050
or whatever. Tell me if you think I'm wrong, but
1463
00:55:44.090 --> 00:55:47.510
I feel like I see more kids now interested in,
1464
00:55:47.599 --> 00:55:49.579
I want to be an influencer, I want to
be
1465
00:55:49.599 --> 00:55:52.460
a movie star, I want to be XYZ, to be
1466
00:55:52.579 --> 00:55:53.480
rich and famous.
1467
00:55:53.719 --> 00:55:55.739
Where did we lose the plot in the last.
1468
00:55:56.329 --> 00:55:59.889
Do I sound like an old fucking lady right now?
1469
00:56:00.070 --> 00:56:02.670
You sound like the oldest lady we've ever interviewed.
1470
00:56:02.690 --> 00:56:05.889
I sound like an old lady.
1471
00:56:05.909 --> 00:56:07.389
No, I think you're absolutely right.
1472
00:56:07.449 --> 00:56:09.179
Well, look, no. What I'll push back on is, like,
1473
00:56:09.460 --> 00:56:12.219
everyone has always wanted to be rich and famous. Period.
1474
00:56:12.500 --> 00:56:13.139
Throughout time.
1475
00:56:13.340 --> 00:56:17.119
I think that might be your experience. And you might
1476
00:56:17.159 --> 00:56:17.900
be projecting that.
1477
00:56:17.920 --> 00:56:20.280
I'm just saying, no kid in their hometown, when they
1478
00:56:20.320 --> 00:56:26.489
imagine being... Margot Robbie or Timothee Chalamet is not thinking, yes,
1479
00:56:26.530 --> 00:56:29.829
sign me up. That looks fun. But I think what's
1480
00:56:29.909 --> 00:56:33.260
happened is we have had a shift in the industry,
1481
00:56:33.300 --> 00:56:34.860
which is the only way to get that in the
1482
00:56:34.900 --> 00:56:37.480
past was to have become a really good actor or
1483
00:56:37.500 --> 00:56:40.460
a really good singer. But then we had, and I
1484
00:56:40.500 --> 00:56:43.059
love her, so this is no shade, but then we
1485
00:56:43.079 --> 00:56:46.570
had like the Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian phenomenon, and these
1486
00:56:46.610 --> 00:56:49.869
people became billionaires. So now there was a new avenue
1487
00:56:49.909 --> 00:56:52.530
to being rich and famous that didn't require a ton
1488
00:56:52.550 --> 00:56:55.389
of training as an actor or a singer. And that's fine.
1489
00:56:55.409 --> 00:56:57.309
So I don't fault anyone's like everyone wanted to be
1490
00:56:57.349 --> 00:56:59.389
rich and famous, but the hurdle to become that was
1491
00:56:59.650 --> 00:57:03.449
pretty significant. And there are avenues now to be rich
1492
00:57:03.489 --> 00:57:07.639
and famous that don't require to me a terribly objective skillset.
1493
00:57:07.780 --> 00:57:08.119
Yeah.
1494
00:57:08.519 --> 00:57:10.059
Like if you're hot and you look like you're having
1495
00:57:10.079 --> 00:57:12.679
a great time everywhere you go, that could be valuable.
1496
00:57:12.760 --> 00:57:14.119
And by the way, good for them.
1497
00:57:14.139 --> 00:57:15.659
Maybe it's good for them.
1498
00:57:16.099 --> 00:57:17.619
I got no beef with that at all.
1499
00:57:18.280 --> 00:57:19.159
That's so interesting.
1500
00:57:19.460 --> 00:57:21.619
Rich and famous, though, I think when you're young and
1501
00:57:21.639 --> 00:57:23.719
you're seeing, you know, whatever.
1502
00:57:23.739 --> 00:57:24.860
Kimmy Shelley?
1503
00:57:25.019 --> 00:57:26.929
Yeah, on the cover, and you're like, oh, my God.
1504
00:57:26.980 --> 00:57:28.280
It seems so glamorous.
1505
00:57:28.320 --> 00:57:30.519
It seems so glamorous, but really what's under it is, like,
1506
00:57:30.780 --> 00:57:34.000
everyone loves them. I want to be a person that
1507
00:57:34.199 --> 00:57:35.719
everyone loves.
1508
00:57:35.840 --> 00:57:36.719
I want to be enough.
1509
00:57:36.800 --> 00:57:40.320
And that's what rich and famous is getting conflated with.
1510
00:57:40.340 --> 00:57:40.800
Is a proxy for.
1511
00:57:40.869 --> 00:57:41.670
Yes, exactly.
1512
00:57:41.690 --> 00:57:44.630
But it's really, like, everyone in the whole world loves
1513
00:57:44.670 --> 00:57:45.750
this person, and I want that.
1514
00:57:46.050 --> 00:57:49.429
And you're definitely naive about what that is because then
1515
00:57:49.449 --> 00:57:52.010
you're Bieber at the wedding and you know everyone's thinking
1516
00:57:52.050 --> 00:57:53.590
about you and that's very uncomfortable.
1517
00:57:53.670 --> 00:57:55.590
Well, that's crushing into a new.
1518
00:57:55.610 --> 00:57:58.110
That's icon status. I always wanted to.
1519
00:57:57.909 --> 00:58:02.059
Be as successful as Bon Iver. Justin Burnham. Oh, my God.
1520
00:58:02.219 --> 00:58:02.719
He's incredible.
1521
00:58:02.739 --> 00:58:04.960
He can go to a Trader Joe's, but he can
1522
00:58:05.019 --> 00:58:06.679
also sell out an arena.
1523
00:58:06.920 --> 00:58:08.980
And get a great table at a restaurant. There are
1524
00:58:09.039 --> 00:58:09.739
things you want.
1525
00:58:09.760 --> 00:58:12.039
Skip the line. So I was a competitive gymnast for
1526
00:58:12.099 --> 00:58:12.519
eight years.
1527
00:58:12.619 --> 00:58:13.059
Oh, wow.
1528
00:58:13.099 --> 00:58:13.860
When I was a kid.
1529
00:58:14.019 --> 00:58:14.340
Oh, wow.
1530
00:58:14.639 --> 00:58:18.010
Homeschooled for it. Was going to the Olympics. Saw the Olympics.
1531
00:58:18.159 --> 00:58:19.340
Wanted to go to the Olympics.
1532
00:58:19.389 --> 00:58:19.570
Yeah.
1533
00:58:20.239 --> 00:58:22.829
But it was from such a place of I want
1534
00:58:22.849 --> 00:58:23.730
to be great.
1535
00:58:24.070 --> 00:58:24.409
Yes.
1536
00:58:24.550 --> 00:58:27.070
And I want to be important.
1537
00:58:27.309 --> 00:58:28.510
Are you watching Lanterns?
1538
00:58:29.150 --> 00:58:29.409
No.
1539
00:58:29.650 --> 00:58:32.769
Okay, well, it's great. But there's something that happens. It's
1540
00:58:32.809 --> 00:58:34.210
not a small thing.
1541
00:58:34.250 --> 00:58:37.110
Sounds like it's going to be.
1542
00:58:37.170 --> 00:58:38.050
Beep.
1543
00:58:38.190 --> 00:58:41.179
There's a eulogy that's being given. It's not a small thing.
1544
00:58:41.199 --> 00:58:42.059
I love a eulogy.
1545
00:58:42.079 --> 00:58:44.119
It's a eulogy that's being given that's written by the
1546
00:58:44.139 --> 00:58:46.539
person who's died. They've pre-written it, okay?
1547
00:58:46.559 -->
00:58:47.420
Okay, lovely.
1548
00:58:47.480 --> 00:58:47.880
Whoa.
1549
00:58:47.960 --> 00:58:48.219
Yes.
1550
00:58:48.719 --> 00:58:52.579
And the last line is, I hope I mattered. And, yeah,
1551
00:58:52.619 --> 00:58:56.030
I was watching my friend. We were both like, oof. It, like, really.
1552
00:58:56.579 --> 00:58:57.380
distills it down.
1553
00:58:57.639 --> 00:59:00.980
It's all we want. We just want to matter.
1554
00:59:01.000 --> 00:59:02.699
It's just who are you going to matter to? Do
1555
00:59:02.719 --> 00:59:05.289
you need to matter like Dolly mattered or do you
1556
00:59:05.329 --> 00:59:06.869
want to matter to your kids?
1557
00:59:07.190 --> 00:59:09.809
My therapist phrased it another way, which is very similar,
1558
00:59:09.849 --> 00:59:14.119
but he's like, do you think you exist? I mean,
1559
00:59:14.179 --> 00:59:17.739
it's weirdly that deep. Like if I'm not observed and
1560
00:59:17.760 --> 00:59:20.599
people aren't witnessing it, do I exist? You have this.
1561
00:59:21.449 --> 00:59:23.989
deep desire to know you exist. You're not even sure
1562
00:59:24.030 --> 00:59:26.960
you exist. If you see, if you feel invisible, you're
1563
00:59:27.019 --> 00:59:29.099
in eighth grade and no one says hi to you
1564
00:59:29.199 --> 00:59:32.719
all day long. It can feel like you don't exist.
1565
00:59:32.860 --> 00:59:34.320
And that's heartbreaking.
1566
00:59:34.500 --> 00:59:37.360
I think that's the whole reason why we want to
1567
00:59:37.400 --> 00:59:40.230
find love in life. Cause you want someone to be
1568
00:59:40.269 --> 00:59:41.429
a witness.
1569
00:59:41.210 --> 00:59:42.329
To your life.
1570
00:59:42.409 --> 00:59:45.269
It's a little selfish. I buy into that fully.
1571
00:59:45.429 --> 00:59:47.090
They help you know you exist.
1572
00:59:47.389 --> 00:59:47.630
Yeah.
1573
00:59:47.750 --> 00:59:49.369
I want to be on the porch forever.
1574
00:59:49.630 --> 00:59:52.190
Wrinkled up with my husband and I want him to
1575
00:59:52.289 --> 00:59:56.070
know what I looked like now and what I sounded
1576
00:59:56.130 --> 01:00:00.300
like and the changes I was feeling and to have
1577
01:00:00.360 --> 01:00:02.150
experienced all of it.
1578
01:00:02.159 --> 01:00:05.039
You're telling a story you're creating a story the story
1579
01:00:05.079 --> 01:00:07.360
is your life if no one reads that book you
1580
01:00:07.380 --> 01:00:08.260
know it's a little bit.
1581
01:00:08.159 --> 01:00:11.880
Heartbreaking yeah that's why I love I have a fascination
1582
01:00:11.920 --> 01:00:15.460
with cemeteries okay.
1583
01:00:14.400 --> 01:00:17.059
You performed at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery that must.
1584
01:00:16.960 --> 01:00:19.400
Have been a joy yeah very cool it's cool to
1585
01:00:19.420 --> 01:00:22.199
see like a sea of heads and then a sea
1586
01:00:22.780 --> 01:00:25.239
of tombstones that was a really why do.
1587
01:00:25.239 --> 01:00:27.519
You like them just because it's a reminder of life
1588
01:00:27.659 --> 01:00:28.360
I just.
1589
01:00:28.179 --> 01:00:31.409
Like to feel small in I think a healthy way
1590
01:00:31.429 --> 01:00:34.469
in a humility way yeah like the ocean I think
1591
01:00:34.510 --> 01:00:38.849
we make ourselves so grand it's funny because we hold
1592
01:00:38.949 --> 01:00:42.909
multitudes we're like I'm small but I'm important but I
1593
01:00:43.090 --> 01:00:48.489
love looking at a tombstone that's like 17, 80.
1594
01:00:47.579 --> 01:00:55.280
To 18, whatever. And I just imagine the adventures that
1595
01:00:55.320 --> 01:00:59.360
they had and the laughs that they had. And were
1596
01:00:59.380 --> 01:01:02.699
they funny? Were they talented? Did they have kids? Were
1597
01:01:06.010 --> 01:01:09.010
And you create this little life, and their story's over.
1598
01:01:09.090 --> 01:01:12.070
It's done. And that's going to be me. Yeah, exactly.
1599
01:01:12.090 --> 01:01:13.429
It's going to be me tomorrow.
1600
01:01:13.679 --> 01:01:14.360
I don't like that.
1601
01:01:14.389 --> 01:01:15.420
Okay, not tomorrow.
1602
01:01:15.460 --> 01:01:16.320
But I know what you mean.
1603
01:01:16.519 --> 01:01:20.219
Whether it's 30 years or 130, it's short.
1604
01:01:20.500 --> 01:01:20.800
It is.
1605
01:01:23.280 --> 01:01:27.909
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
1606
01:01:27.949 --> 01:01:33.110
Armchair Expert.
1607
01:01:35.920 --> 01:01:39.179
We would sometimes drive to Toronto from Detroit, my family,
1608
01:01:39.239 --> 01:01:41.159
my mom and my brother and my sister. I would
1609
01:01:41.179 --> 01:01:44.559
see these apartment buildings. There's so many windows. I'd be
1610
01:01:44.579 --> 01:01:46.320
in the backseat of my mom's Pinto and I go,
1611
01:01:46.980 --> 01:01:50.579
it's almost incomprehensible. Every one of those windows has a
1612
01:01:50.639 --> 01:01:52.860
me in it that feels very important.
1613
01:01:53.059 --> 01:01:53.420
Yeah.
1614
01:01:53.559 --> 01:01:55.659
And then a bunch of other, my mom's in there,
1615
01:01:55.679 --> 01:01:57.239
my brother's in there. It's overwhelming.
1616
01:01:57.949 --> 01:01:58.769
It's overwhelming.
1617
01:01:58.789 --> 01:01:59.349
It's overwhelming.
1618
01:01:59.369 --> 01:02:02.079
We're so small. But we really don't think about it.
1619
01:02:02.230 --> 01:02:04.510
We're thinking about it right now because we're lucky enough
1620
01:02:04.530 --> 01:02:05.670
to have this conversation.
1621
01:02:05.989 --> 01:02:08.030
But we're going to leave here in an hour from now.
1622
01:02:08.050 --> 01:02:10.510
We're going to forget that there's a bunch of people
1623
01:02:10.570 --> 01:02:11.380
in those windows.
1624
01:02:11.400 --> 01:02:14.599
Yeah, yeah. And they all are having important lives. And
1625
01:02:14.619 --> 01:02:16.380
they're the star of it. Okay.
1626
01:02:16.739 --> 01:02:18.780
Wow. We're really doing it.
1627
01:02:18.920 --> 01:02:19.440
I love this.
1628
01:02:20.420 --> 01:02:22.889
I'm having a nice time. Oh, good.
1629
01:02:22.909 --> 01:02:23.909
We try to provide one.
1630
01:02:23.929 --> 01:02:24.489
Yeah.
1631
01:02:24.530 --> 01:02:25.070
We aim to.
1632
01:02:25.150 --> 01:02:26.849
This has been like a real port in the storm.
1633
01:02:26.869 --> 01:02:30.519
This week has been fucking insane. And then the music
1634
01:02:30.559 --> 01:02:33.000
video of it all, like I said, my nervous systems.
1635
01:02:33.679 --> 01:02:36.280
But seeing this on my calendar has brought me so
1636
01:02:36.300 --> 01:02:36.679
much joy.
1637
01:02:37.000 --> 01:02:38.199
Oh, wonderful.
1638
01:02:38.380 --> 01:02:39.159
I knew it would be nice.
1639
01:02:39.440 --> 01:02:42.070
I have a question about the financials of when you
1640
01:02:42.110 --> 01:02:44.789
moved to Nashville and you start, you're doing a couple
1641
01:02:44.829 --> 01:02:47.150
different things that I assume are paying the bills, which
1642
01:02:47.210 --> 01:02:50.409
is you're starting to sing on other people's stuff. And
1643
01:02:50.429 --> 01:02:52.309
then you're also writing, like you write a song with
1644
01:02:52.329 --> 01:02:53.030
Demi Lovato.
1645
01:02:53.230 --> 01:02:53.630
For her.
1646
01:02:54.050 --> 01:02:57.510
In the acting world, we know it's like if you
1647
01:02:57.530 --> 01:03:00.789
get one national commercial this year. You'll be okay. You're
1648
01:03:00.829 --> 01:03:02.710
going to be able to make your rent. We know
1649
01:03:02.789 --> 01:03:05.179
what one needs to do to survive here, but how
1650
01:03:05.199 --> 01:03:08.900
does one cobble together and which things buy you more time, basically?
1651
01:03:08.940 --> 01:03:11.219
When you write that song for Demi Lovato, do you
1652
01:03:11.260 --> 01:03:13.719
go like, oh, okay, I have this chunk of safety?
1653
01:03:14.219 --> 01:03:16.760
You're trying to get a publishing deal. As a writer,
1654
01:03:16.800 --> 01:03:21.989
that's your first stop, your goal. I was making coffees.
1655
01:03:22.579 --> 01:03:26.300
Barista. And I was in every writing room that would
1656
01:03:26.340 --> 01:03:29.090
take me. I was in like two sessions a day
1657
01:03:29.449 --> 01:03:31.809
for months at a time and then would work at night.
1658
01:03:31.929 --> 01:03:34.389
And were you learning a ton in those? Or were
1659
01:03:34.429 --> 01:03:36.590
you too distracted trying to prove yourself?
1660
01:03:36.670 --> 01:03:38.949
Boot camp. I was still insecure.
1661
01:03:38.989 --> 01:03:41.980
Well, no, I was insecure in trying to prove myself.
1662
01:03:42.059 --> 01:03:42.380
Yes.
1663
01:03:42.400 --> 01:03:46.230
Yeah, sure. I would be. I'm asking because I would
1664
01:03:46.250 --> 01:03:48.449
have missed a lot of lessons trying to prove to
1665
01:03:48.469 --> 01:03:49.989
them I deserve to be there, even though I didn't
1666
01:03:50.010 --> 01:03:50.409
think I did.
1667
01:03:50.429 --> 01:03:53.050
Yeah, trying to, like,
come up with an amazing idea. Yeah.
1668
01:03:53.409 --> 01:03:56.630
Nashville, more so than L.A., at least at the time,
1669
01:03:57.969 --> 01:03:59.889
they want to teach you.
1670
01:04:00.130 --> 01:04:01.409
You're in writing rooms.
1671
01:04:01.260 --> 01:04:05.579
With people who are very yes and. So you'll say
1672
01:04:05.619 --> 01:04:08.079
an idea and then they'll piggyback off you. That's why
1673
01:04:08.139 --> 01:04:12.199
I loved writing with Phineas because he is such a
1674
01:04:12.300 --> 01:04:13.179
yes and person.
1675
01:04:14.170 --> 01:04:23.489
I've had the pitfall of being a But so, you know, because.
1676
01:04:23.329 --> 01:04:25.170
I don't know if that's good enough or I'll put
1677
01:04:25.190 --> 01:04:27.349
a period at the end of something. So I definitely
1678
01:04:27.369 --> 01:04:30.170
was learning a lot from those Nashville writers. I had
1679
01:04:30.230 --> 01:04:33.260
no business being in some of those rooms. And honestly,
1680
01:04:33.280 --> 01:04:35.539
I only got in them because I was a good hang.
1681
01:04:35.679 --> 01:04:38.320
You're going to like this girl. She's, you know, fun
1682
01:04:38.340 --> 01:04:41.980
to be around, fun or whatever. That got me further
1683
01:04:42.039 --> 01:04:44.960
than my talent did. And then the talent crossed over to.
1684
01:04:44.940 --> 01:04:45.940
The next thing.
1685
01:04:46.500 --> 01:04:48.440
But yeah, so the financials were tricky for a bit.
1686
01:04:48.500 --> 01:04:56.139
I signed my first record deal. And publishing deal 2019, 18.
1687
01:04:56.139 --> 01:04:58.099
And then I was able to just do that.
1688
01:04:58.340 --> 01:05:00.900
And then the progression is you put out like some
1689
01:05:00.960 --> 01:05:03.019
singles and then you put out an EP with four
1690
01:05:03.059 --> 01:05:05.130
songs and then you put out a second EP. Finally,
1691
01:05:05.150 --> 01:05:08.469
then you do a full studio album.
1692
01:05:08.530 --> 01:05:08.889
Yeah.
1693
01:05:09.550 --> 01:05:12.829
And the first one was of the first three, because
1694
01:05:12.849 --> 01:05:14.170
now your fourth one's about to come out.
1695
01:05:14.659 --> 01:05:15.559
October 16th.
1696
01:05:15.659 --> 01:05:15.840
Yes.
1697
01:05:15.860 --> 01:05:17.380
It's like tomorrow. I'm so excited.
1698
01:05:17.400 --> 01:05:18.340
Yeah, it's so exciting.
1699
01:05:18.519 --> 01:05:21.980
The first one, I would imagine you're pumped, right? The
1700
01:05:22.019 --> 01:05:24.519
first one probably shockingly does well for you.
1701
01:05:25.079 --> 01:05:25.440
Yeah.
1702
01:05:25.739 --> 01:05:28.219
Everyone says you write your first album your whole life.
1703
01:05:28.579 --> 01:05:29.420
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1704
01:05:29.460 --> 01:05:30.780
It's all leading up to that one.
1705
01:05:30.920 --> 01:05:33.239
Yes. You have your entire life to draw from.
1706
01:05:33.260 --> 01:05:35.250
And then you have no idea what to fucking write
1707
01:05:35.269 --> 01:05:35.969
about after that.
1708
01:05:36.030 --> 01:05:38.550
Second season of a show is similar. It's like, ooh,
1709
01:05:38.610 --> 01:05:39.130
now what?
1710
01:05:39.369 --> 01:05:39.889
Yeah.
1711
01:05:39.909 --> 01:05:40.329
Green light.
1712
01:05:40.369 --> 01:05:40.650
Yeah.
1713
01:05:41.530 --> 01:05:44.909
So did you spin out when it came time like, OK, well,
1714
01:05:44.989 --> 01:05:45.889
let's follow it up?
1715
01:05:46.289 --> 01:05:46.489
Yeah.
1716
01:05:46.510 --> 01:05:47.510
Is that so stressful?
1717
01:05:47.829 --> 01:05:50.289
I think, man, and I'm talking about him way too much.
1718
01:05:50.489 --> 01:05:52.110
He really is such a big part of my life.
1719
01:05:52.170 --> 01:05:54.550
But Phineas was on Till Forever Falls Apart, which was
1720
01:05:54.639 --> 01:05:57.280
on that album. And that was a part of I
1721
01:05:57.320 --> 01:06:00.159
got a follow up moral of the story with a
1722
01:06:00.260 --> 01:06:04.000
great song. Wrote that, sent it to him, said, do
1723
01:06:04.039 --> 01:06:05.239
you want to sing on this?
1724
01:06:05.480 --> 01:06:06.880
And that's the song you guys played at the wedding.
1725
01:06:06.920 --> 01:06:07.840
That's so good.
1726
01:06:07.860 --> 01:06:08.699
That's so awesome.
1727
01:06:08.940 --> 01:06:10.039
It's really special.
1728
01:06:10.320 --> 01:06:13.369
Also, I remember being a kid when I first started
1729
01:06:13.989 --> 01:06:19.230
writing and dreaming of a duet. Wouldn't it feel amazing
1730
01:06:19.269 --> 01:06:22.440
to be on stage with someone else?
1731
01:06:22.659 --> 01:06:22.880
Yeah.
1732
01:06:23.000 --> 01:06:26.460
And we're having this magical movie. You know, I'm picturing
1733
01:06:26.500 --> 01:06:27.699
it in my head as a movie.
1734
01:06:27.760 --> 01:06:27.880
Yeah.
1735
01:06:29.320 --> 01:06:31.159
I get to do that so often.
1736
01:06:31.179 --> 01:06:31.619
Yeah.
1737
01:06:32.019 --> 01:06:37.460
I'm living this very special, so big vortex of energy
1738
01:06:37.559 --> 01:06:39.039
and hormones, and it's awesome.
1739
01:06:39.099 --> 01:06:39.840
It's the coolest thing.
1740
01:06:40.139 --> 01:06:42.760
Yes. Then you guys, you do the favors with him.
1741
01:06:42.980 --> 01:06:43.239
Yep.
1742
01:06:43.460 --> 01:06:46.880
I'm just going to flag Home Sweet Home. That's my
1743
01:06:46.920 --> 01:06:51.909
song on that album, The Dream. It's so funky and fun.
1744
01:06:51.929 --> 01:06:53.070
A little disco-y, huh?
1745
01:06:53.570 --> 01:06:56.329
Yes. There's some hints. That one is a bit Bee Geesy.
1746
01:06:56.710 --> 01:06:59.469
And then Stop the Wedding is very Abba-y in a
1747
01:06:59.570 --> 01:07:00.170
lovely way.
1748
01:07:00.449 --> 01:07:01.590
Big inspiration for me.
1749
01:07:01.969 --> 01:07:04.170
To the degree that you've seen the play and everything,
1750
01:07:04.230 --> 01:07:07.190
and you've watched the— my children watch the movie quite often.
1751
01:07:07.389 --> 01:07:07.690
Oh,
yeah.
1752
01:07:07.869 --> 01:07:08.889
Like once a year.
1753
01:07:09.090 --> 01:07:09.409
Mamma Mia.
1754
01:07:09.409 --> 01:07:11.019
Yeah, Mamma Mia. Mamma Mia.
1755
01:07:11.039 --> 01:07:12.719
For the listener. Mamma Mia.
1756
01:07:12.760 --> 01:07:13.980
Yeah, Meryl Streep.
1757
01:07:14.260 --> 01:07:16.480
I don't really get— I don't know if you get starstruck.
1758
01:07:16.599 --> 01:07:19.619
I mean, you see stars all the time on this couch.
1759
01:07:20.079 --> 01:07:21.199
But Meryl Streep?
1760
01:07:21.710 --> 01:07:22.230
Yeah, forget it.
1761
01:07:22.230 --> 01:07:24.760
I'd fall over and die.
1762
01:07:25.219 --> 01:07:28.780
Sometimes people say we look alike.
1763
01:07:30.239 --> 01:07:32.860
Yeah, the aforementioned Without a Paddle, that was the first
1764
01:07:32.900 --> 01:07:34.559
movie I was ever in. First time they sent me
1765
01:07:34.599 --> 01:07:36.400
away to go do all these different things you have
1766
01:07:36.420 --> 01:07:37.980
to do when you're in a studio movie. And one
1767
01:07:38.019 --> 01:07:40.659
was go to this thing, Show West. And I, like,
1768
01:07:40.940 --> 01:07:42.679
come out. We're all on stage with all these other
1769
01:07:42.719 --> 01:07:44.239
movies that are coming out. And I bounce out the
1770
01:07:44.280 --> 01:07:48.510
back door to have a cigarette and fucking miss Streep. No.
1771
01:07:48.550 --> 01:07:49.420
Out there banging a dart.
1772
01:07:49.699 --> 01:07:49.920
No.
1773
01:07:50.079 --> 01:07:51.940
Yeah, she and I killed a fucking dart. And I'm like,
1774
01:07:53.119 --> 01:07:55.480
one year ago, I had been trying to get up.
1775
01:07:55.849 --> 01:07:58.409
Roll for nine years and didn't get one. And then
1776
01:07:58.530 --> 01:08:00.199
somehow I'm now back here.
1777
01:08:00.219 --> 01:08:01.780
Do you know who you were?
1778
01:08:01.800 --> 01:08:01.920
No.
1779
01:08:01.940 --> 01:08:02.300
Fuck no.
1780
01:08:02.539 --> 01:08:02.880
Yeah, no.
1781
01:08:02.900 --> 01:08:03.340
That's okay.
1782
01:08:03.380 --> 01:08:04.250
That's great. I'll learn it.
1783
01:08:04.260 --> 01:08:05.780
Smoking a cigarette with her?
1784
01:08:05.800 --> 01:08:06.519
That's so cool.
1785
01:08:06.559 --> 01:08:06.719
Yeah.
1786
01:08:06.760 --> 01:08:07.920
That's pretty rad.
1787
01:08:07.960 --> 01:08:09.300
That's your best story.
1788
01:08:09.320 --> 01:08:10.000
Yeah.
1789
01:08:10.719 --> 01:08:10.940
I agree.
1790
01:08:11.000 --> 01:08:12.659
Wow. Pull that one out more.
1791
01:08:13.469 --> 01:08:15.190
I was keeping it in the back pocket.
1792
01:08:15.210 --> 01:08:15.969
I haven't heard that.
1793
01:08:15.989 --> 01:08:16.909
I know. I'm running out.
1794
01:08:16.970 --> 01:08:17.510
I'm running out.
1795
01:08:17.529 --> 01:08:18.449
There's only a couple left.
1796
01:08:18.630 --> 01:08:21.670
I've had some cigarettes with some pretty cool people, but
1797
01:08:21.810 --> 01:08:22.989
no one as cool as her.
1798
01:08:23.010 --> 01:08:24.289
God, I should start smoking.
1799
01:08:24.529 --> 01:08:28.199
I will ask you, when you meet John Canada, I just,
1800
01:08:28.239 --> 01:08:29.600
this name is too much for me.
1801
01:08:29.819 --> 01:08:30.439
It's crazy.
1802
01:08:30.899 --> 01:08:34.859
How does someone end up with the name Canada? I'm
1803
01:08:34.920 --> 01:08:39.020
a shepherd. My family apparently at one point herded animals.
1804
01:08:39.159 --> 01:08:39.760
Clearly.
1805
01:08:39.819 --> 01:08:40.300
Shepherds.
1806
01:08:40.579 --> 01:08:43.770
I think it comes from Kennedy. O'Kennedy. They're Irish.
1807
01:08:44.090 --> 01:08:44.729
Okay.
1808
01:08:44.770 --> 01:08:47.409
And I think maybe someone wrote it down wrong when
1809
01:08:47.449 --> 01:08:48.069
they came over.
1810
01:08:48.090 --> 01:08:49.109
Okay, great.
1811
01:08:49.130 --> 01:08:52.090
So O'Kennedy became Canada.
1812
01:08:52.449 --> 01:08:53.949
Kennedy, Canada.
1813
01:08:54.170 --> 01:08:55.970
So really I'm kind of a Kennedy.
1814
01:08:55.989 --> 01:08:56.590
Wow.
1815
01:08:56.609 --> 01:08:57.949
If you really stretch it.
1816
01:08:57.989 --> 01:08:58.090
Yes.
1817
01:09:00.260 --> 01:09:01.220
You really stretch it.
1818
01:09:01.300 --> 01:09:04.960
What does John Canada have that makes you willing to
1819
01:09:05.020 --> 01:09:06.619
give marriage a second shot?
1820
01:09:07.680 --> 01:09:08.600
I love that.
1821
01:09:08.920 --> 01:09:14.010
Well, I mean, I could label so many things. The
1822
01:09:14.119 --> 01:09:18.229
best thing, everyone is in his circle. I'm a very
1823
01:09:18.270 --> 01:09:18.989
small circle person.
1824
01:09:19.579 --> 01:09:20.319
Tiny, tiny.
1825
01:09:20.800 --> 01:09:23.579
If you have permission in, then you are very, very
1826
01:09:23.619 --> 01:09:24.220
important to me.
1827
01:09:24.279 --> 01:09:24.699
Sacred.
1828
01:09:24.939 --> 01:09:29.439
He has this selflessness to him and this compassion to him.
1829
01:09:30.960 --> 01:09:33.920
That he just, all walks of life, whoever you are,
1830
01:09:34.680 --> 01:09:38.279
just pulls them in and makes them feel seen, feel hurt,
1831
01:09:38.479 --> 01:09:39.779
feel understood.
1832
01:09:39.859 --> 01:09:43.039
I don't know how he does it. The aforementioned non-trauma.
1833
01:09:43.220 --> 01:09:43.640
Yeah.
1834
01:09:43.659 --> 01:09:45.520
Well, I was going to say, he's not worried people
1835
01:09:45.550 --> 01:09:46.739
are going to be liabilities.
1836
01:09:46.779 --> 01:09:48.380
Right. They're not going to hurt him.
1837
01:09:49.039 --> 01:09:52.779
All my compassion and my empathy has come from my trauma.
1838
01:09:52.880 --> 01:09:55.739
So I'm like, where does this get born of? I
1839
01:09:55.800 --> 01:09:59.640
think I'm a really kind person. He makes me look
1840
01:10:00.649 --> 01:10:02.170
like a fucking.
1841
01:10:02.189 --> 01:10:03.569
Like a real piece of shit.
1842
01:10:03.770 --> 01:10:07.670
I like the idea of our kids being able to
1843
01:10:07.750 --> 01:10:12.289
have that balance of a little bit of a hard-ass
1844
01:10:12.390 --> 01:10:15.979
mom and then this guy who's just always going to
1845
01:10:16.430 --> 01:10:20.829
listen and be like, whatever you have for me, I'm here.
1846
01:10:21.310 --> 01:10:24.960
And it's really sweet. I think that's his best thing.
1847
01:10:25.100 --> 01:10:26.680
And then again, back to.
1848
01:10:26.600 --> 01:10:28.500
The last life thing.
1849
01:10:28.560 --> 01:10:31.479
I don't know. I looked in his eyes. I looked
1850
01:10:31.539 --> 01:10:33.890
at him and I thought, you look like my children.
1851
01:10:34.500 --> 01:10:35.859
Whoa.
1852
01:10:36.020 --> 01:10:38.460
Like, my children are going to look like you.
1853
01:10:38.539 --> 01:10:39.119
Oh, wow.
1854
01:10:39.199 --> 01:10:41.279
That's the moment I met him.
1855
01:10:41.319 --> 01:10:42.199
Oh, wow, wow.
1856
01:10:42.239 --> 01:10:43.140
That's crazy.
1857
01:10:43.659 --> 01:10:45.659
It's ovulation time today.
1858
01:10:45.739 --> 01:10:46.229
I know.
1859
01:10:46.319 --> 01:10:46.930
I know.
1860
01:10:46.949 --> 01:10:47.930
Let's get it over here.
1861
01:10:47.970 --> 01:10:49.489
He's flying in tonight.
1862
01:10:49.510 --> 01:10:49.869
Uh-oh.
1863
01:10:49.890 --> 01:10:52.109
You said you wanted to wait.
1864
01:10:52.149 --> 01:10:53.430
No, he's going to be in the music video.
1865
01:10:53.449 --> 01:10:53.930
Don't wait.
1866
01:10:54.010 --> 01:10:55.109
Don't wait. Don't wait.
1867
01:10:55.350 --> 01:10:56.850
You have all these stories about how you won't be
1868
01:10:56.869 --> 01:10:58.350
able to do the thing you want to do. And
1869
01:10:58.409 --> 01:11:00.600
Chris and I, our careers both got way, way better.
1870
01:11:00.989 --> 01:11:01.380
Okay.
1871
01:11:01.449 --> 01:11:03.100
Magically. We're like, I don't know how this is going
1872
01:11:03.119 --> 01:11:05.020
to work. And then there's some kind of magic that happens.
1873
01:11:05.180 --> 01:11:05.979
I needed to hear that.
1874
01:11:06.060 --> 01:11:06.539
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1875
01:11:06.600 --> 01:11:07.699
I think I'm on the same page.
1876
01:11:07.979 --> 01:11:10.399
What I'm not going to do is let my success
1877
01:11:10.500 --> 01:11:12.859
get in the way of my greatest dream, which is
1878
01:11:12.899 --> 01:11:13.550
to be a mom.
1879
01:11:13.770 --> 01:11:14.199
There you go.
1880
01:11:14.619 --> 01:11:17.890
But I also really want to go on tour next year.
1881
01:11:18.069 --> 01:11:20.569
Yeah, you'll go on tour. Kristen shot six movies. She
1882
01:11:20.609 --> 01:11:23.140
was pregnant. She's nursing. She's, you know, you do it.
1883
01:11:23.630 --> 01:11:26.810
Also, there's the stigma with being a lady that the
1884
01:11:26.840 --> 01:11:30.399
minute you... Have the baby. It's like your fall. It's
1885
01:11:30.460 --> 01:11:32.039
on the downside of your career.
1886
01:11:32.300 --> 01:11:35.770
I'd love the trajectory to be a continuation of Up.
1887
01:11:36.079 --> 01:11:37.920
I think you guys might be outliers.
1888
01:11:38.319 --> 01:11:43.079
No, I can point to Natalie Portman. I can point
1889
01:11:43.140 --> 01:11:45.399
to so many people that you're just not aware that
1890
01:11:45.449 --> 01:11:47.130
they had kids at all.
1891
01:11:47.170 --> 01:11:49.729
So many people have kids that you don't know have kids.
1892
01:11:49.789 --> 01:11:50.569
Yeah.
1893
01:11:50.710 --> 01:11:53.569
It is different acting world because you can kind of
1894
01:11:53.609 --> 01:11:54.609
disappear for a while.
1895
01:11:54.890 --> 01:11:55.479
It's worse.
1896
01:11:55.489 --> 01:11:56.409
Because you're disappearing.
1897
01:11:56.449 --> 01:12:00.550
No, it's worse. Your character isn't pregnant. She's working as
1898
01:12:00.609 --> 01:12:03.270
a consultant. She's supposed to be a single person. She's
1899
01:12:03.329 --> 01:12:06.560
super pregnant. It's harder. You're allowed to be pregnant. You
1900
01:12:06.600 --> 01:12:08.880
can be a pop star who's pregnant.
1901
01:12:09.159 --> 01:12:12.119
You can hide. And they do when people are working.
1902
01:12:12.180 --> 01:12:13.920
But you don't even need to.
1903
01:12:14.399 --> 01:12:15.909
You don't need to hide.
1904
01:12:15.970 --> 01:12:19.090
You singing this song with a big baby bump is radical.
1905
01:12:19.829 --> 01:12:20.890
Who doesn't want to see that?
1906
01:12:21.729 --> 01:12:23.210
It's gonna be so cute.
1907
01:12:23.329 --> 01:12:25.109
Yes, there you go.
1908
01:12:25.630 --> 01:12:26.489
I'm so excited.
1909
01:12:26.510 --> 01:12:28.710
Yeah, John Canada is also very handsome.
1910
01:12:29.130 --> 01:12:30.289
Oh, wow.
1911
01:12:30.569 --> 01:12:35.729
The video is like this old vintage 1960s dating game show.
1912
01:12:35.810 --> 01:12:36.750
Oh, fun.
1913
01:12:37.109 --> 01:12:40.630
And we need all these like hot male contestants. Oh,
1914
01:12:40.670 --> 01:12:41.310
look at you.
1915
01:12:41.229 --> 01:12:42.789
Getting the ass as a hot male.
1916
01:12:42.829 --> 01:12:45.229
No, I'm the janitor that finds the.
1917
01:12:45.369 --> 01:12:47.189
Oh, we were gonna ask him to be the host
1918
01:12:48.090 --> 01:12:49.050
of the show. Yeah, yeah.
1919
01:12:49.109 --> 01:12:49.270
Yeah.
1920
01:12:49.289 --> 01:12:54.569
The old pervy host. Kissing all the contestants on the lips.
1921
01:12:54.840 --> 01:12:56.739
You're like, I have an idea for my character.
1922
01:12:56.859 --> 01:12:57.579
You want me to be.
1923
01:12:57.600 --> 01:12:59.260
Does that work for this song?
1924
01:12:59.279 --> 01:13:03.539
Yeah, I'm so sorry you can't make it that day.
1925
01:13:03.699 --> 01:13:05.659
So I just want to ask, obviously you're here to
1926
01:13:05.699 --> 01:13:08.939
promote The Girl of Your Dreams, which comes out October 16th.
1927
01:13:08.960 --> 01:13:09.979
Well, I'm here to.
1928
01:13:09.770 --> 01:13:11.189
Talk to you. I know you are.
1929
01:13:11.350 --> 01:13:12.770
That's my foot in the door.
1930
01:13:12.810 --> 01:13:16.289
But your project that's forthcoming is the album The Girl
1931
01:13:16.310 --> 01:13:19.989
of Your Dreams. Is this the first time... I'm assuming
1932
01:13:20.029 --> 01:13:22.590
it would be really radical to already have a single
1933
01:13:22.609 --> 01:13:24.899
that's totally working before the album comes out.
1934
01:13:25.060 --> 01:13:28.979
It does not suck. It's definitely a vote of confidence.
1935
01:13:29.199 --> 01:13:31.960
I also kind of reserved myself that this would be
1936
01:13:32.000 --> 01:13:37.399
my last record if people didn't like it because I
1937
01:13:37.579 --> 01:13:40.770
really loved it and I know that it's my best work.
1938
01:13:40.970 --> 01:13:43.689
This is the best I've ever brought to the table.
1939
01:13:44.529 --> 01:13:48.470
from my voice and what I'm singing, but also the writing.
1940
01:13:48.770 --> 01:13:51.800
And the producer I worked with, Noah Conrad, he also
1941
01:13:51.840 --> 01:13:54.420
produced Moral of the Story. And he's at his best.
1942
01:13:54.579 --> 01:13:59.470
I mean, he is so unbelievably talented. Talk about yes and.
1943
01:14:00.250 --> 01:14:02.630
And I just know that this is my best.
1944
01:14:02.989 --> 01:14:06.279
So if my best... doesn't cut it, then I'm like,
1945
01:14:06.460 --> 01:14:07.699
all right, we're going to pivot.
1946
01:14:07.979 --> 01:14:11.220
Hold on. I got to disagree with this.
1947
01:14:11.300 --> 01:14:14.930
I'm not saying it's advice to other people.
1948
01:14:14.979 --> 01:14:20.670
We just interviewed Guillermo del Toro. There isn't a more
1949
01:14:20.869 --> 01:14:24.489
creative volcano on planet earth. Tons of these movies that
1950
01:14:24.510 --> 01:14:27.069
were fucking absolutely brilliant. No one saw if he would
1951
01:14:27.090 --> 01:14:29.779
have been like, well, I did. Pan's Labyrinth and it
1952
01:14:29.819 --> 01:14:32.560
didn't make $ 600 million. So I guess I'm in the
1953
01:14:32.619 --> 01:14:36.260
wrong business. And this, by the way, this contradicts what
1954
01:14:36.300 --> 01:14:38.569
you just said, which is like if rich and famous
1955
01:14:38.630 --> 01:14:40.710
is the goal, then get the fuck out of the business.
1956
01:14:40.750 --> 01:14:43.369
Making great albums that you're proud of is the business.
1957
01:14:43.390 --> 01:14:43.989
Making your art.
1958
01:14:44.189 --> 01:14:46.609
I think it's like, can I keep paying the bills
1959
01:14:46.649 --> 01:14:47.000
with it?
1960
01:14:47.189 --> 01:14:50.699
Right. Well, John Canada's going to, you know, he's going to.
1961
01:14:50.659 --> 01:14:51.880
Have to help you worry about that.
1962
01:14:51.899 --> 01:14:53.300
He does have his master's in accounting.
1963
01:14:53.420 --> 01:14:54.520
Well, there we go.
1964
01:14:54.539 --> 01:14:55.579
That's a reliable job.
1965
01:14:55.600 --> 01:14:58.550
That's a far better backup plan than either of us have.
1966
01:14:58.590 --> 01:15:01.210
By the way, my grandma loves that fact.
1967
01:15:01.449 --> 01:15:03.289
Yeah, that's a good fact.
1968
01:15:03.310 --> 01:15:05.829
Well, that's a reasonable man. Sensible man.
1969
01:15:05.949 --> 01:15:08.050
Sensible man. He's a drummer in a band.
1970
01:15:08.310 --> 01:15:11.310
I just read this Instagram. I was thinking about this
1971
01:15:11.350 --> 01:15:14.340
on the toilet today. You see these things on Instagram,
1972
01:15:14.479 --> 01:15:17.199
and even if you recognize at the moment this probably
1973
01:15:17.260 --> 01:15:20.210
isn't scientific, it's stuck in your head forever, and you
1974
01:15:20.250 --> 01:15:22.390
will eventually think it was scientific. So I read this
1975
01:15:22.409 --> 01:15:26.289
thing recently that they IQ test on musicians and that
1976
01:15:26.930 --> 01:15:32.029
drummers are the smartest across the board from all the musicians. Wow.
1977
01:15:32.930 --> 01:15:36.720
And again, I can't imagine how robust this scientific study was,
1978
01:15:37.039 --> 01:15:39.760
but it's now in my head and will be for life.
1979
01:15:39.779 --> 01:15:41.600
So he's probably brilliant because he's a drummer.
1980
01:15:41.779 --> 01:15:43.149
He's very smart.
1981
01:15:43.210 --> 01:15:43.789
There you go.
1982
01:15:44.130 --> 01:15:44.529
Yeah.
1983
01:15:44.609 --> 01:15:45.350
One more bit of data.
1984
01:15:45.430 --> 01:15:47.069
I can't add it to the study.
1985
01:15:47.090 --> 01:15:48.510
I love that.
1986
01:15:48.609 --> 01:15:51.399
He wasn't like some crazy percentile of his class.
1987
01:15:51.739 --> 01:15:52.079
Okay.
1988
01:15:52.100 --> 01:15:52.579
There you go.
1989
01:15:52.699 --> 01:15:54.460
And he's drawn to the drums. They were pointing out
1990
01:15:54.520 --> 01:15:58.260
something about rhythm, like something about time. There's some mental gymnastics.
1991
01:15:58.279 --> 01:16:00.399
Well, your brain is doing two things at once for
1992
01:16:00.420 --> 01:16:00.760
the drums, right?
1993
01:16:00.779 --> 01:16:03.239
Yeah, it's like the people who can. Yeah. Which I'm
1994
01:16:03.279 --> 01:16:04.539
not even doing right right now.
1995
01:16:04.640 --> 01:16:07.279
Yeah, I can do that. I think the hardest one
1996
01:16:07.319 --> 01:16:07.810
is this one.
1997
01:16:08.869 --> 01:16:09.369
Oh, yeah.
1998
01:16:09.649 --> 01:16:11.550
Concentric circles that go the opposite way.
1999
01:16:11.569 --> 01:16:15.579
Did I do it? Oh, but then you keep going?
2000
01:16:15.640 --> 01:16:18.319
You're doing it. You're doing it. That's a great... See,
2001
01:16:18.340 --> 01:16:19.340
Monica's going like this.
2002
01:16:19.539 --> 01:16:22.350
Shut up! How dare you?
2003
01:16:22.390 --> 01:16:25.029
But she's about to start her period, and you're.
2004
01:16:25.069 --> 01:16:27.069
Yeah, you're in your... And I'm ovulating.
2005
01:16:27.090 --> 01:16:28.630
Yeah, well, you got a little... You got a little
2006
01:16:28.649 -->
01:16:29.529
skinny wampus there.
2007
01:16:29.550 --> 01:16:30.069
It's real.
2008
01:16:30.090 --> 01:16:31.020
But yeah, that's a hard one.
2009
01:16:31.369 --> 01:16:31.970
Wow.
2010
01:16:31.989 --> 01:16:33.449
I can't do it.
2011
01:16:33.670 --> 01:16:35.050
Do you make all your guests do this?
2012
01:16:35.250 --> 01:16:39.130
No, you're the first. Again, I've got four tricks left.
2013
01:16:39.250 --> 01:16:42.829
Wait, so going back to this whole I would.
2014
01:16:42.510 --> 01:16:46.229
Have quit thing. I don't think I'd put as much
2015
01:16:46.350 --> 01:16:50.130
stake into it. I just signed my first major record
2016
01:16:50.149 --> 01:16:54.229
deal for this album, and it was off the back
2017
01:16:54.439 --> 01:16:59.399
of My biggest collaboration project with Phineas, a band, there
2018
01:16:59.439 --> 01:17:03.199
was just this hype and momentum that was setting up
2019
01:17:03.239 --> 01:17:08.430
this record for commercial success. And if all of that
2020
01:17:08.510 --> 01:17:12.890
momentum and the best writing that I've ever done didn't
2021
01:17:13.170 --> 01:17:18.170
sort of materialize in a commercial way, there is so
2022
01:17:18.229 --> 01:17:21.119
much to this job that I hate and that I
2023
01:17:21.199 --> 01:17:27.739
am unwilling to To continue doing for not commercial success.
2024
01:17:28.020 --> 01:17:31.760
When you walk into the morning radio show in Pittsburgh,
2025
01:17:31.899 --> 01:17:34.840
the fucking shock jocks are in there. And the gotcha.
2026
01:17:34.880 --> 01:17:35.079
Yeah.
2027
01:17:35.119 --> 01:17:36.760
You can see them like trying to figure out who
2028
01:17:36.779 --> 01:17:37.680
just walked in.
2029
01:17:37.760 --> 01:17:39.939
They're trying to get you to call the most famous
2030
01:17:39.979 --> 01:17:41.079
person in your phone.
2031
01:17:41.159 --> 01:17:41.659
It's all.
2032
01:17:41.880 --> 01:17:42.260
It's all.
2033
01:17:42.399 --> 01:17:43.220
It's terrible.
2034
01:17:43.239 --> 01:17:47.319
It's miserable. And I don't like to travel. I'm a homebody.
2035
01:17:47.579 --> 01:17:50.390
I'm a touring musician who's a homebody. It doesn't always
2036
01:17:50.430 --> 01:17:53.149
go super well together. I love being on stage, but
2037
01:17:53.350 --> 01:17:55.710
the best place in the world is the good spot
2038
01:17:55.770 --> 01:17:56.449
on my couch.
2039
01:17:56.850 --> 01:17:59.609
And I would just love to be there all the time.
2040
01:17:59.829 --> 01:18:00.149
Yes.
2041
01:18:00.369 --> 01:18:04.229
I am very loud and boisterous and goofy, but so
2042
01:18:04.329 --> 01:18:07.050
much of me loves solitude and quiet.
2043
01:18:07.529 --> 01:18:12.319
And my life as the musician and artist, Ash... is loud.
2044
01:18:12.840 --> 01:18:16.649
And I will happily sacrifice things that I don't like
2045
01:18:16.729 --> 01:18:20.449
to do for all the wonderful parts of this job.
2046
01:18:20.710 --> 01:18:22.970
They'll still make you do the shit
you don't want
2047
01:18:23.010 --> 01:18:24.930
to do as a failure.
2048
01:18:25.449 --> 01:18:28.390
Maybe less, you're not on the top radio station.
2049
01:18:28.409 --> 01:18:32.090
You're doing some dog shit radio thing. People are still
2050
01:18:32.130 --> 01:18:35.529
trying to gotcha. They're still throwing you on a bus.
2051
01:18:35.590 --> 01:18:38.850
Maybe it's a sprinter van now. I followed Lewis Capaldi
2052
01:18:39.350 --> 01:18:41.470
Behind his tour bus in my Saturn Ion.
2053
01:18:41.789 --> 01:18:42.069
Nice.
2054
01:18:42.189 --> 01:18:42.729
For weeks.
2055
01:18:43.229 --> 01:18:45.829
Driving behind him on tour. And it was when he
2056
01:18:45.869 --> 01:18:47.729
was doing like the Troubadour.
2057
01:18:47.750 --> 01:18:48.319
It was 250, 500 cap.
2058
01:18:50.060 --> 01:18:52.340
Rooms. I've been doing this for so long.
2059
01:18:52.399 --> 01:18:53.000
Yeah.
2060
01:18:53.039 --> 01:18:53.260
Yeah.
2061
01:18:53.539 --> 01:18:53.859
That.
2062
01:18:55.310 --> 01:18:59.149
I'm exhausted and I don't want to keep doing it
2063
01:18:59.430 --> 01:19:00.390
if I can't have.
2064
01:19:00.550 --> 01:19:03.470
The reward. The reward. I get it. So that's more
2065
01:19:03.489 --> 01:19:05.989
what I was. I needed to verbally process that with
2066
01:19:06.029 --> 01:19:07.979
you because it does sound kind of like you're a
2067
01:19:08.020 --> 01:19:11.300
dick when you're like, if this didn't work, I'm out
2068
01:19:11.340 --> 01:19:14.380
of here. And I don't feel that way.
2069
01:19:14.399 --> 01:19:16.500
It can sound self-protective.
2070
01:19:17.359 --> 01:19:17.899
Yeah.
2071
01:19:18.039 --> 01:19:19.479
That's more. That's what I would not want.
2072
01:19:19.500 --> 01:19:21.300
You're already cocking in me.
2073
01:19:21.500 --> 01:19:22.859
Yeah, yeah. Because I have it.
2074
01:19:23.079 --> 01:19:24.539
Game recognized game.
2075
01:19:24.899 --> 01:19:27.859
Dude, my movie didn't open. I quit directing. And then
2076
01:19:27.899 --> 01:19:30.659
I started this. Thank God this worked out. But yeah,
2077
01:19:30.810 --> 01:19:32.829
I relate. I'm like, I'm not going to kill myself
2078
01:19:32.850 --> 01:19:34.729
for two fucking years and take all these notes from
2079
01:19:34.750 --> 01:19:36.829
the studio and then have it fucking not open and
2080
01:19:36.930 --> 01:19:38.920
I'm gone all the time. I'm out.
2081
01:19:38.930 --> 01:19:40.869
I don't get to see my family.
2082
01:19:41.090 --> 01:19:43.989
Yeah. But had this not happened... I also should have
2083
01:19:44.010 --> 01:19:46.770
just kept directing because I'm proud of the things I've directed.
2084
01:19:46.869 --> 01:19:49.010
If I have the opportunity to do it, I should
2085
01:19:49.029 --> 01:19:50.310
do it because I love doing it.
2086
01:19:50.430 --> 01:19:51.890
Are you doing more directing these days?
2087
01:19:51.909 --> 01:19:54.390
I can't now. We do 162 episodes of this a year.
2088
01:19:54.449 --> 01:19:57.560
So there's no way I can do anything other than
2089
01:19:57.619 --> 01:20:00.239
this job. But it's a good fucking job.
2090
01:20:00.399 --> 01:20:02.460
Do you both identify as extroverted?
2091
01:20:03.220 --> 01:20:07.310
When a conversation is over, are you pretty tired or
2092
01:20:07.319 --> 01:20:08.510
are you energized by it?
2093
01:20:08.949 --> 01:20:10.890
I guess it depends on the conversation.
2094
01:20:10.949 --> 01:20:11.750
Oh, the person.
2095
01:20:12.300 --> 01:20:13.239
It depends on the finish.
2096
01:20:13.260 --> 01:20:14.579
Yeah, yesterday we left.
2097
01:20:14.899 --> 01:20:15.439
Oh, I was like.
2098
01:20:15.460 --> 01:20:16.500
We were floating on.
2099
01:20:16.560 --> 01:20:19.600
Yeah, I was like, I can't believe we got to
2100
01:20:19.619 --> 01:20:19.810
do that.
2101
01:20:19.819 --> 01:20:20.569
With Guillermo?
2102
01:20:20.869 --> 01:20:21.229
Yeah.
2103
01:20:21.289 --> 01:20:21.789
Yeah.
2104
01:20:22.069 --> 01:20:24.689
Like to get to meet a human. Yeah.
2105
01:20:24.829 --> 01:20:26.930
It's like, oh, I can't believe we got to talk
2106
01:20:26.970 --> 01:20:27.729
to someone like that.
2107
01:20:27.750 --> 01:20:28.170
That's so cool.
2108
01:20:28.189 --> 01:20:30.350
In your lifetime, if you're in your entire life, you
2109
01:20:30.369 --> 01:20:32.340
sat next to someone like him on an airplane and
2110
01:20:32.380 --> 01:20:33.260
got to spend two hours.
2111
01:20:33.300 --> 01:20:35.699
Not because of who he is in the world. The status.
2112
01:20:35.739 --> 01:20:38.060
Because of who he is as a person.
2113
01:20:38.100 --> 01:20:38.760
His essence, yeah.
2114
01:20:38.819 --> 01:20:39.739
His frequency.
2115
01:20:39.760 --> 01:20:40.399
Stunning.
2116
01:20:40.439 --> 01:20:41.020
Stunning, yeah.
2117
01:20:41.319 --> 01:20:44.819
So, yeah, sometimes it's like, and then sometimes you're like,
2118
01:20:44.930 --> 01:20:45.819
I am this nap time.
2119
01:20:47.750 --> 01:20:50.170
Yeah. And it's now both.
2120
01:20:50.569 --> 01:20:51.930
I don't know what the word is, but I don't
2121
01:20:51.949 --> 01:20:55.890
want to say addicted to work, but I love working.
2122
01:20:56.489 --> 01:20:57.210
I love to work.
2123
01:20:57.569 --> 01:20:59.970
A big piece of my identity, I think yours is
2124
01:21:00.109 --> 01:21:02.329
I am very hard worker. Yes, I'm a hard worker.
2125
01:21:02.409 --> 01:21:04.609
That's an admirable quality that I want.
2126
01:21:04.829 --> 01:21:07.369
Which has gotten us all into so much trouble.
2127
01:21:07.470 --> 01:21:07.890
Of course.
2128
01:21:08.170 --> 01:21:10.909
Sure, sure. But compared to the other approach I take.
2129
01:21:11.220 --> 01:21:12.560
I'd rather be a hard worker.
2130
01:21:12.579 --> 01:21:15.510
Yeah, yeah. Look, it's not an option. I'm not at
2131
01:21:15.569 --> 01:21:18.350
peace being lazy. I try it all the time. I
2132
01:21:18.390 --> 01:21:20.130
convince myself all the time I can do it. And
2133
01:21:20.170 --> 01:21:21.989
then three weeks into it, I'm like, no, no. We're
2134
01:21:22.029 --> 01:21:25.100
not here to watch the fucking clouds go by. We've
2135
01:21:25.140 --> 01:21:27.220
got limited time. We must do everything there is to
2136
01:21:27.260 --> 01:21:28.439
do on this planet. Let's go.
2137
01:21:28.840 --> 01:21:32.670
Intense. You're an intense fella.
2138
01:21:32.750 --> 01:21:34.029
What song do you think you're going to play?
2139
01:21:34.050 --> 01:21:36.810
I feel like, I mean, Stop the Wedding is the song.
2140
01:21:36.949 --> 01:21:40.909
That's the anthem of the fall. And I will say,
2141
01:21:42.229 --> 01:21:46.539
we met at a wedding. And it was awesome.
2142
01:21:46.640 --> 01:21:47.579
So it's on record.
2143
01:21:47.699 --> 01:21:50.260
I've only played this on piano once.
2144
01:21:51.420 --> 01:21:54.500
And you have a very bad cold. Yes. And you
2145
01:21:54.520 --> 01:21:55.579
got terrible news on the way here.
2146
01:21:56.850 --> 01:22:00.449
I am fighting a legal battle right now. Let's get
2147
01:22:00.510 --> 01:22:01.090
into that.
2148
01:22:01.109 --> 01:22:01.649
Just kidding.
2149
01:22:01.670 --> 01:22:04.149
Do you really have diarrhea?
2150
01:22:04.880 --> 01:22:05.310
I wish.
2151
01:22:05.350 --> 01:22:06.960
Yeah. Not today.
2152
01:22:07.720 --> 01:22:08.039
Okay.
2153
01:22:08.279 --> 01:22:08.899
Yeah, let's party.
2154
01:22:08.920 --> 01:22:09.539
Can we just end it?
2155
01:22:10.100 --> 01:22:10.479
Yeah. Okay.
2156
01:22:11.020 --> 01:22:13.159
Yeah, no, it's nice to do this song. The song's
2157
01:22:13.199 --> 01:22:14.819
kind of like changing my life right now.
2158
01:22:15.060 --> 01:22:15.659
Yes.
2159
01:22:15.800 --> 01:22:17.199
So we'll pay it tribute.
2160
01:22:17.279 --> 01:22:17.420
Yeah.
2161
01:22:18.630 --> 01:22:23.569
I found a secret note. Burn after reading this. It's supernatural,
2162
01:22:23.609 --> 01:22:25.920
the feeling sinking in.
2163
01:22:26.000 --> 01:22:27.239
This isn't cold feet.
2164
01:22:27.779 --> 01:22:33.260
These aren't fireworks. The sky is menacing. And that's an iceberg.
2165
01:22:33.300 --> 01:22:36.659
He thinks he's velvet smooth. I've fallen for the act.
2166
01:22:37.180 --> 01:22:40.699
I'm in the other room and seeing through the cracks.
2167
01:22:40.779 --> 01:22:44.979
The voices in my head are screaming, oh.
2168
01:22:53.800 --> 01:22:55.659
Wear your heart out.
2169
01:22:55.720 --> 01:22:58.939
The warning signs are flashing now.
2170
01:22:59.180 --> 01:23:05.060
Stop the wedding. Stop the wedding.
2171
01:23:06.470 --> 01:23:10.789
Even though the table's set, the guests are waiting. You
2172
01:23:10.829 --> 01:23:15.729
can burn the dress and run away. Stop the wedding.
2173
01:23:17.770 --> 01:23:19.729
Stop the wedding.
2174
01:23:21.210 --> 01:23:24.489
You've been such a good girl.
2175
01:23:25.130 --> 01:23:28.689
Talking like you should, girl.
2176
01:23:28.710 --> 01:23:33.020
We'll
keep avoiding disappointing and your white satin heels.
2177
01:23:33.239 --> 01:23:36.439
You know how you really feel.
2178
01:23:36.500 --> 01:23:37.699
You don't have to.
2179
01:23:37.520 --> 01:23:42.199
Waste your night and wear your heart out. The warning
2180
01:23:42.319 --> 01:23:44.319
signs are flashing now.
2181
01:23:44.470 --> 01:23:49.449
Stop the wording. Stop the.
2182
01:23:51.489 --> 01:23:55.770
Even though the tables sit, the guests are waiting, you
2183
01:23:55.810 --> 01:23:57.350
can burn.
2184
01:23:56.729 --> 01:23:59.050
The dress and run away.
2185
01:23:59.069 --> 01:24:01.189
Stop the wedding.
2186
01:24:02.689 --> 01:24:10.100
Stop the wedding. Stop the wedding. Stop the wedding.
2187
01:24:10.640 --> 01:24:14.739
If your heart is dreading, hands are sweating while the
2188
01:24:14.819 --> 01:24:16.100
sun is setting.
2189
01:24:16.659 --> 01:24:25.060
You'll be getting out. Stop the wedding, stop the.
2190
01:24:24.760 --> 01:24:28.260
Wedding If your heart is dreading, hands.
2191
01:24:27.939 --> 01:24:33.319
Are sweating While the sun is setting, you'll be getting.
2192
01:24:34.640 --> 01:24:40.409
Out You don't.
2193
01:24:39.789 --> 01:24:44.750
Have to waste your life and wear your heart out
2194
01:24:45.010 --> 01:24:48.729
The warning signs are flashing out.
2195
01:24:53.130 --> 01:24:56.390
Stop the wedding.
2196
01:24:56.430 --> 01:25:00.850
Even though the table's set, the guests are waiting. You
2197
01:25:00.890 --> 01:25:05.350
can burn the dress and run away. Stop the wedding.
2198
01:25:06.859 --> 01:25:12.039
Stop the wedding.
2199
01:25:12.579 --> 01:25:14.119
Only you can start.
2200
01:25:14.619 --> 01:25:17.779
Stop the wedding.
2201
01:25:28.239 --> 01:25:30.890
Oh, girl, you let it rip!
2202
01:25:32.010 --> 01:25:33.409
Oh, you let it rip.
2203
01:25:33.449 --> 01:25:36.270
It's beautiful.
2204
01:25:36.380 --> 01:25:38.819
Sorry, I'm just wailing at you.
2205
01:25:38.840 --> 01:25:39.579
That's our preferred.
2206
01:25:39.800 --> 01:25:44.060
I got a little welled up. Oh, it's so good.
2207
01:25:44.340 --> 01:25:44.979
So good.
2208
01:25:45.079 --> 01:25:45.800
Thanks, guys.
2209
01:25:46.039 --> 01:25:50.460
I loved meeting you at the wedding, and I loved
2210
01:25:50.520 --> 01:25:52.640
this interview. I'm so glad, and I feel very grateful
2211
01:25:52.659 --> 01:25:55.479
that you sang for us. That was really beautiful.
2212
01:25:55.510 --> 01:25:56.229
This was fantastic.
2213
01:25:56.350 --> 01:25:59.270
And I want everyone to listen to, to every single
2214
01:25:59.289 --> 01:26:01.670
track on The Girl of Your Dreams starting October 16th.
2215
01:26:01.670 --> 01:26:02.189
And go back.
2216
01:26:02.229 --> 01:26:03.550
Listen to all the albums.
2217
01:26:03.609 --> 01:26:04.310
Yes, yes, yes.
2218
01:26:04.350 --> 01:26:05.189
Thanks, guys.
2219
01:26:05.250 --> 01:26:08.140
Yes, yes. Take the journey that we're currently on.
2220
01:26:08.149 --> 01:26:08.439
Yeah.
2221
01:26:08.680 --> 01:26:09.579
All right. Adore you.
2222
01:26:09.960 --> 01:26:10.880
I love you guys.
2223
01:26:11.420 --> 01:26:14.819
He is an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all
2224
01:26:14.859 --> 01:26:17.300
the time. Thank God Monica's here.
2225
01:26:17.399 --> 01:26:19.770
She's got to let him have the facts.
2226
01:26:21.350 --> 01:26:22.810
I have a little treat for you.
2227
01:26:23.989 --> 01:26:24.590
What is it?
2228
01:26:24.590 --> 01:26:26.489
I want to start this with an audio clip.
2229
01:26:26.909 --> 01:26:27.090
Okay.
2230
01:26:27.479 --> 01:26:29.529
This was found on Kristen's computer today.
2231
01:26:30.069 --> 01:26:30.500
Okay.
2232
01:26:31.159 --> 01:26:32.329
And I think you're going to enjoy it.
2233
01:26:32.340 --> 01:26:33.539
Mama made it.
2234
01:26:33.739 --> 01:26:35.239
But how did you get in mommy's tummy?
2235
01:26:39.539 --> 01:26:40.420
Yeah, how'd you get in there?
2236
01:26:41.680 --> 01:26:41.979
Mama?
2237
01:26:42.859 --> 01:26:46.000
I didn't get in there. I got made in there. Right,
2238
01:26:46.199 --> 01:26:47.739
but how did you get in there?
2239
01:26:47.760 --> 01:26:50.619
What do you think you grew from? You know like
2240
01:26:50.699 --> 01:26:52.479
a tree has to grow from a seed, right?
2241
01:26:53.199 --> 01:26:54.279
A blood cell.
2242
01:26:54.600 --> 01:26:55.279
No, an egg.
2243
01:26:56.310 --> 01:26:57.170
An egg.
2244
01:26:57.329 --> 01:27:01.909
A little tiny blue thing in that electric cord on
2245
01:27:02.020 --> 01:27:06.760
an egg. It's coming. It connects to the ball in
2246
01:27:06.779 --> 01:27:10.079
the middle. And then the string on the other side.
2247
01:27:10.300 --> 01:27:10.659
String.
2248
01:27:10.680 --> 01:27:15.500
It connects to my tummy. The umbilical cord. My tummy.
2249
01:27:15.579 --> 01:27:16.960
That's you too.
2250
01:27:17.020 --> 01:27:17.659
That's right.
2251
01:27:17.720 --> 01:27:20.260
Hold on, hold on.
2252
01:27:20.300 --> 01:27:24.750
Hold on. What made you use your umbilical cord? Is
2253
01:27:24.789 --> 01:27:25.579
that what you're telling me?
2254
01:27:25.590 --> 01:27:26.250
Mm-hmm.
2255
01:27:26.550 --> 01:27:31.920
Okay. So what part did I have to do with this?
2256
01:27:32.420 --> 01:27:32.960
You fed me.
2257
01:27:33.220 --> 01:27:35.479
You fed me. You snuggled me.
2258
01:27:35.560 --> 01:27:36.539
You snuggled me.
2259
01:27:37.699 --> 01:27:39.460
Yes, I've done all those things, but that's after you
2260
01:27:39.500 --> 01:27:42.119
were born. What role do you think I played in
2261
01:27:42.159 --> 01:27:44.630
you being born? Do you think I was a part
2262
01:27:44.649 --> 01:27:44.829
of that?
2263
01:27:46.930 --> 01:27:48.819
You cut all your veal gourd.
2264
01:27:49.100 --> 01:27:49.529
She's rude.
2265
01:27:49.550 --> 01:27:50.710
I didn't do that. You're right.
2266
01:27:50.770 --> 01:27:51.470
She's doing gourd.
2267
01:27:51.489 --> 01:27:53.090
Do you think mommy just
grew you?
2268
01:27:53.369 --> 01:27:54.789
Do you think I thought about it and I was like,
2269
01:27:54.810 --> 01:27:57.010
I want to be pregnant. And then, poof, I was.
2270
01:27:57.029 --> 01:27:58.789
How do you think you got in there?
2271
01:27:58.890 --> 01:28:00.149
How would she know this?
2272
01:28:00.489 --> 01:28:01.569
Dad put me in.
2273
01:28:01.890 --> 01:28:03.109
Dad put me in.
2274
01:28:04.470 --> 01:28:04.750
So.
2275
01:28:04.770 --> 01:28:05.310
Seriously?
2276
01:28:05.390 --> 01:28:05.489
Yeah.
2277
01:28:06.250 --> 01:28:06.729
Oh my God.
2278
01:28:06.829 --> 01:28:10.369
So mommy's body makes eggs. And daddy's body makes sperm.
2279
01:28:11.229 --> 01:28:14.010
And my sperm swam up mommy's uterus.
2280
01:28:14.050 --> 01:28:20.479
This one made eggs. Mama's little ball make a baby.
2281
01:28:20.500 --> 01:28:23.899
Thank you for making me, Daddy.
2282
01:28:23.960 --> 01:28:24.600
You're welcome.
2283
01:28:24.619 --> 01:28:26.539
Thank you for making me, Daddy.
2284
01:28:26.819 --> 01:28:28.590
Oh, my God.
2285
01:28:28.659 --> 01:28:29.970
That's the thank you I.
2286
01:28:30.670 --> 01:28:32.189
Was wishing for. I was wishing for.
2287
01:28:32.210 --> 01:28:34.409
You're the great daddy to make the sweet angel.
2288
01:28:35.130 --> 01:28:35.989
Wait, wait.
2289
01:28:36.420 --> 01:28:41.579
Um what made her what made her make an egg.
2290
01:28:41.640 --> 01:28:44.539
And sperm mommy's egg and daddy's sperm.
2291
01:28:44.699 --> 01:28:47.649
Your sperm made a great baby.
2292
01:28:48.020 --> 01:28:49.140
Oh, Megan?
2293
01:28:49.199 --> 01:28:49.680
No, me.
2294
01:28:49.960 --> 01:28:51.140
Oh, you.
2295
01:28:51.180 --> 01:28:54.840
You like her. This roommate is too great, baby.
2296
01:28:55.000 --> 01:28:57.390
Oh, great babies.
2297
01:28:57.449 --> 01:28:58.050
You're lucky.
2298
01:28:58.250 --> 01:28:59.869
I'll say it, man. I think you have the two
2299
01:28:59.909 --> 01:29:02.850
best babies ever made. Daddy, I need mama.
2300
01:29:03.510 --> 01:29:04.970
Say hello to my daddy.
2301
01:29:05.829 --> 01:29:07.680
Say hello to your father. Wow.
2302
01:29:07.760 --> 01:29:08.560
I did.
2303
01:29:10.189 --> 01:29:12.369
When your fart arrives, I'll greet it appropriately.
2304
01:29:12.409 --> 01:29:14.560
Gordon, you smell it.
2305
01:29:15.859 --> 01:29:18.520
Oh, well, I do. Now I'm aware of it.
2306
01:29:18.560 --> 01:29:19.779
Things have really gotten.
2307
01:29:19.859 --> 01:29:24.180
Oh, my God. She said you made a sweet angel
2308
01:29:24.340 --> 01:29:25.779
and she was referring to herself.
2309
01:29:26.279 --> 01:29:28.199
I thought Lincoln said that about Delta.
2310
01:29:28.239 --> 01:29:29.659
No, Delta said it about herself.
2311
01:29:29.939 --> 01:29:32.859
And then she said a great baby about herself. Oh,
2312
01:29:32.939 --> 01:29:35.300
she did. You did make a sweet angel.
2313
01:29:37.260 --> 01:29:40.939
Her little voice. That came from a blue cord.
2314
01:29:41.380 --> 01:29:45.479
Listen, she got a lot right, and I am impressed.
2315
01:29:46.439 --> 01:29:48.930
It made me miss her at that age.
2316
01:29:48.979 --> 01:29:53.590
Thank you, Daddy. They all ended up thanking you. God.
2317
01:29:53.770 --> 01:29:57.210
Well, no, they already had a lot of gratitude for Mom.
2318
01:29:57.329 --> 01:29:59.039
I didn't hear a thank you in there for Mom.
2319
01:29:59.050 --> 01:30:01.630
Well, that's what preluded the conversation. That's what we were saying.
2320
01:30:01.670 --> 01:30:04.010
Do you know how this all comes about?
2321
01:30:04.109 --> 01:30:05.020
Mama made me.
2322
01:30:06.539 --> 01:30:07.100
Oh, my God.
2323
01:30:07.319 --> 01:30:09.180
Oh, her voice.
2324
01:30:09.399 --> 01:30:14.399
She's a cartoon character slash kid like on a Disney show,
2325
01:30:14.859 --> 01:30:15.520
but in real life.
2326
01:30:15.739 --> 01:30:17.319
Is it a video or is it just audio?
2327
01:30:17.380 --> 01:30:19.020
It's a video, but it's like they don't know they're
2328
01:30:19.060 --> 01:30:21.500
being recorded. I don't know where I'm being recorded either.
2329
01:30:21.600 --> 01:30:23.340
Kristen just set the phone down, so it's just like
2330
01:30:23.359 --> 01:30:24.680
a close-up of a blanket.
2331
01:30:25.000 --> 01:30:25.180
Oh, dang.
2332
01:30:25.199 --> 01:30:27.720
But then you hear this funny conversation. Yeah, I wish
2333
01:30:27.779 --> 01:30:28.970
I could see Delta's face.
2334
01:30:29.189 --> 01:30:29.890
I know.
2335
01:30:30.050 --> 01:30:31.699
And Lincoln's sweet face.
2336
01:30:31.890 --> 01:30:33.029
The little baby's.
2337
01:30:33.729 --> 01:30:36.899
Yeah, they were five and six in that conversation.
2338
01:30:36.960 --> 01:30:37.880
Wait, seriously?
2339
01:30:39.079 --> 01:30:43.229
You caught the umbilical cord. However she says umbilical cord.
2340
01:30:43.270 --> 01:30:44.159
She really... I.
2341
01:30:45.789 --> 01:30:50.170
I'm impressed. And you guys were really just expecting them
2342
01:30:50.270 --> 01:30:52.130
to know about sperm and eggs.
2343
01:30:52.229 --> 01:30:54.340
Well, I don't think it was the first time they
2344
01:30:54.380 --> 01:30:56.279
had ever been told. I think this is a repeat
2345
01:30:56.340 --> 01:30:57.060
until they get it.
2346
01:30:57.239 --> 01:31:01.979
Yeah. The ball. The ball inside of mom. So cute.
2347
01:31:02.100 --> 01:31:05.000
What did I do? You fed me and snuggled me.
2348
01:31:05.119 --> 01:31:08.430
And snuggled me. That's so cute.
2349
01:31:09.319 --> 01:31:11.270
I can't believe what a treasure that was.
2350
01:31:11.090 --> 01:31:11.770
To find this one.
2351
01:31:11.789 --> 01:31:14.640
Yeah, I love that. Okay, someone's going to need to
2352
01:31:14.680 --> 01:31:15.840
send me that, obviously.
2353
01:31:15.899 --> 01:31:17.800
Oh, I'll send it to you ASAP.
2354
01:31:17.819 --> 01:31:20.310
Speaking of cute little angels, do you want to see
2355
01:31:20.319 --> 01:31:21.329
something cute?
2356
01:31:21.750 --> 01:31:23.270
Is it Fizzy doing Fizzy things?
2357
01:31:23.489 --> 01:31:26.329
Yeah. Hold on, I'll just send it to you.
2358
01:31:26.569 --> 01:31:31.869
You're making all kinds of noises.
2359
01:31:31.909 --> 01:31:34.909
I know.
2360
01:31:35.449 --> 01:31:35.789
Oh, no.
2361
01:31:41.500 --> 01:31:46.010
Oh, my God. What a sweet boy.
2362
01:31:48.090 --> 01:31:49.569
He's such a nice boy.
2363
01:31:49.630 --> 01:31:52.270
Those first noises in this little pizza cutter.
2364
01:31:52.289 --> 01:31:54.529
Yeah. Pizza slice.
2365
01:31:54.569 --> 01:31:57.880
Pizza slice. Oh, he's so beautiful.
2366
01:31:57.909 --> 01:32:00.340
He's so cute. I really wish he lived a little
2367
01:32:00.399 --> 01:32:01.189
closer to me.
2368
01:32:01.220 --> 01:32:01.380
Yeah.
2369
01:32:01.399 --> 01:32:03.520
So I could hold him and.
2370
01:32:03.319 --> 01:32:04.380
Squish him more.
2371
01:32:04.479 --> 01:32:05.439
Yeah.
2372
01:32:05.960 --> 01:32:09.890
He's just so, so cute. I'm going to say something complicated.
2373
01:32:09.909 --> 01:32:10.470
Oh, great.
2374
01:32:10.529 --> 01:32:13.449
Complex, complicated, confusing.
2375
01:32:14.310 --> 01:32:14.729
Sure.
2376
01:32:14.750 --> 01:32:17.739
So, yeah, I got this really cute video of Fizzy.
2377
01:32:17.760 --> 01:32:20.020
And I was just like watching it over and over.
2378
01:32:20.060 --> 01:32:24.970
And I was like, oh, this little baby. I love him. And,
2379
01:32:24.989 --> 01:32:26.770
you know, then, of course, when you're looking at these videos,
2380
01:32:26.789 --> 01:32:28.829
you're like, oh, like, I want one of those.
2381
01:32:28.890 --> 01:32:29.130
Yeah, yeah.
2382
01:32:29.630 --> 01:32:32.350
But then, you know, so I did a photo shoot
2383
01:32:32.399 --> 01:32:33.779
yesterday morning.
2384
01:32:33.800 --> 01:32:35.279
Oh, Sunday photo shoot. Mm-hmm.
2385
01:32:35.300 --> 01:32:37.619
It was at my house. And we were doing hair
2386
01:32:37.680 --> 01:32:41.079
and makeup. And no one there has kids. Me, the
2387
01:32:41.119 --> 01:32:42.979
hair and the makeup. No one has kids there.
2388
01:32:43.000 --> 01:32:43.699
Yeah.
2389
01:32:43.720 --> 01:32:47.100
And my hair, Barb, I'm going to shout her out, Barb.
2390
01:32:47.159 --> 01:32:47.430
Yeah.
2391
01:32:47.439 --> 01:32:51.210
She's the best. Barb does hair. And I FaceTimed Sally.
2392
01:32:51.229 --> 01:32:51.310
Okay.
2393
01:32:52.149 --> 01:32:53.829
We're both good friends with Sally. And we had to
2394
01:32:53.869 --> 01:32:55.590
ask her. We FaceTimed her. And she was in the
2395
01:32:55.670 --> 01:33:00.800
middle of playing a game, playing Monopoly with her son.
2396
01:33:00.810 --> 01:33:01.380
Uh-huh.
2397
01:33:02.180 --> 01:33:04.039
And, you know, we were saying hi to her son.
2398
01:33:04.060 --> 01:33:06.359
And then her daughter came in. And, of course, they're just, like,
2399
01:33:06.500 --> 01:33:10.600
all so sweet and cute. And then she had.
2400
01:33:10.619 --> 01:33:12.479
Weirdly met them. Yeah, exactly. At the park.
2401
01:33:12.500 --> 01:33:12.960
That's right.
2402
01:33:13.460 --> 01:33:17.109
And she had to go to take. one of them
2403
01:33:17.149 --> 01:33:19.590
to a birthday party at the American Girl store, whatever.
2404
01:33:19.609 --> 01:33:22.289
We got off. About 30 minutes later, I said, I
2405
01:33:22.680 --> 01:33:27.380
feel bad saying this, but I have to. I'm so
2406
01:33:27.520 --> 01:33:31.229
glad I'm not playing Monopoly with a kid right now
2407
01:33:31.270 --> 01:33:33.909
and having to drive to the American Girl store. Like,
2408
01:33:34.010 --> 01:33:37.310
I really had, like, a real, like, I'm really glad
2409
01:33:37.369 --> 01:33:38.470
that's not my day.
2410
01:33:38.630 --> 01:33:39.729
Yes. Yes.
2411
01:33:39.810 --> 01:33:43.449
And it was off the heels of just seeing this
2412
01:33:43.529 --> 01:33:46.020
little tiny baby that I was like, oh, no.
2413
01:33:46.039 --> 01:33:46.619
Baby fever.
2414
01:33:47.020 --> 01:33:47.520
Yeah.
2415
01:33:48.079 --> 01:33:49.880
And it was very confusing.
2416
01:33:50.699 --> 01:33:55.100
It is confusing. I should leave it with the latter conclusion.
2417
01:33:55.119 --> 01:33:56.300
I don't know what to do.
2418
01:33:56.300 --> 01:33:59.670
Because I will say. Yeah. Yeah. We went— when Kristen was
2419
01:33:59.729 --> 01:34:02.729
probably eight months pregnant, we went out to eat with
2420
01:34:03.649 --> 01:34:08.060
Ryan and Amy and Crosby and Millie. They were both born. Yeah.
2421
01:34:08.399 --> 01:34:11.100
And it was an untenable dinner. It couldn't be had.
2422
01:34:11.239 --> 01:34:13.199
And it was at Big Boys where you're invited to
2423
01:34:13.239 --> 01:34:16.439
be quite rowdy. But even— it was too much for even
2424
01:34:16.539 --> 01:34:17.800
the back room at Big Boys.
2425
01:34:17.840 --> 01:34:18.020
Yeah.
2426
01:34:18.699 --> 01:34:20.460
And I remember leaving there in a bit of a
2427
01:34:20.500 --> 01:34:22.720
panic because Kristen's about to give birth.
2428
01:34:23.180 --> 01:34:23.479
Yeah.
2429
01:34:23.560 --> 01:34:25.270
And we're going to be in the same situation where
2430
01:34:25.279 --> 01:34:26.569
it's like we can't even get through a meal at
2431
01:34:26.590 --> 01:34:31.600
Big Boys. And— Lo and behold, when it's your kid.
2432
01:34:31.619 --> 01:34:32.399
Of course.
2433
01:34:33.239 --> 01:34:37.079
It's something magic happens where it's like, yeah, I don't
2434
01:34:37.119 --> 01:34:40.199
want to be playing Monopoly with someone else's kid. Like,
2435
01:34:40.220 --> 01:34:42.020
that doesn't sound very appealing to me at all.
2436
01:34:42.079 --> 01:34:45.539
It's, yeah, it's deeper than that. It's deeper than, like,
2437
01:34:45.720 --> 01:34:48.199
I don't want to be playing with the kid. It
2438
01:34:48.229 --> 01:34:50.770
was just like, like, it had nothing to do with
2439
01:34:50.810 --> 01:34:52.210
her children. They're
great, right?
2440
01:34:52.229 --> 01:34:52.609
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2441
01:34:53.359 --> 01:34:56.600
It was just like I'm very glad that my day
2442
01:34:56.680 --> 01:34:57.279
is mine.
2443
01:34:57.460 --> 01:35:01.340
Yes, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes a ton
2444
01:35:01.380 --> 01:35:01.680
of sense.
2445
01:35:01.800 --> 01:35:04.380
It's strange. And then that night, or like at 5,
2446
01:35:04.380 --> 01:35:07.800
I went to a new place. Shout out.
2447
01:35:07.819 --> 01:35:10.010
Uh-oh. Can't buckle up for a new shout out.
2448
01:35:10.319 --> 01:35:13.689
Hotel Lucille. It's in Silver Lake. It's a new hotel.
2449
01:35:14.170 --> 01:35:16.770
And they have a new restaurant in there. Very cute.
2450
01:35:17.890 --> 01:35:21.460
So Ana and I went there. And there was, I
2451
01:35:21.720 --> 01:35:26.960
won't say who, but an actor there. And we were
2452
01:35:28.039 --> 01:35:30.439
kind of confused because there was this actor, there was
2453
01:35:30.510 --> 01:35:32.390
another man, and then there was a lady, and there
2454
01:35:32.409 --> 01:35:37.069
was a baby there. And we couldn't figure out whose baby.
2455
01:35:37.090 --> 01:35:38.880
Was it the actor's baby or the other?
2456
01:35:38.939 --> 01:35:41.939
And the other man was holding the baby really like
2457
01:35:41.979 --> 01:35:45.500
it was his. But also the actor was also kind
2458
01:35:45.539 --> 01:35:46.819
of holding the baby like it was his. So I
2459
01:35:46.819 --> 01:35:47.199
was like, oh, maybe.
2460
01:35:47.229 --> 01:35:48.789
Maybe he was practicing for a role.
2461
01:35:48.850 --> 01:35:51.090
No, I was like, maybe these are two dads.
2462
01:35:51.109 --> 01:35:51.430
Okay, sure.
2463
01:35:51.449 --> 01:35:53.630
And then I was like, who's that lady? So there
2464
01:35:53.649 --> 01:35:55.909
was a lot of questions. But the baby was so cute.
2465
01:35:58.189 --> 01:35:58.439
Uh-huh.
2466
01:35:58.760 --> 01:36:01.479
And maybe one of the dads or uncles or friends
2467
01:36:01.539 --> 01:36:03.819
or something was standing up with the baby and, like,
2468
01:36:03.899 --> 01:36:07.640
holding it. Bouncy, bouncy. And the whole restaurant was, like,
2469
01:36:08.600 --> 01:36:12.859
drawn to this child and, like, staring. And it was so, so,
2470
01:36:12.920 --> 01:36:16.079
so cute. And it was just a confusing day.
2471
01:36:16.319 --> 01:36:19.960
Sure. Yeah, yeah. Compounded by flies.
2472
01:36:20.340 --> 01:36:22.829
Well, now— Okay.
2473
01:36:23.170 --> 01:36:23.430
Uh-oh.
2474
01:36:23.689 --> 01:36:26.810
I have really... Well, yes. My flies are here, officially,
2475
01:36:26.850 --> 01:36:27.390
thank God.
2476
01:36:27.510 --> 01:36:27.609
Okay.
2477
01:36:27.949 --> 01:36:31.890
Because there was some fake-outs on Friday. There was blood.
2478
01:36:31.909 --> 01:36:31.989
Okay.
2479
01:36:32.050 --> 01:36:34.670
So I was like, oh, great, we're starting.
2480
01:36:34.750 --> 01:36:34.949
Yeah.
2481
01:36:35.090 -->
01:36:38.560
And then nothing on Saturday or Sunday.
2482
01:36:38.579 --> 01:36:39.319
Oh, my goodness.
2483
01:36:39.439 --> 01:36:42.939
And then I was like, ugh. But then today, it's
2484
01:36:42.960 --> 01:36:43.960
a rifle force.
2485
01:36:44.180 --> 01:36:44.720
Full flow.
2486
01:36:45.420 --> 01:36:45.800
Yes.
2487
01:36:46.899 --> 01:36:47.159
But.
2488
01:36:48.869 --> 01:36:51.170
I don't know what's going on with my Instagram. Adam Mosseri,
2489
01:36:51.250 --> 01:36:52.949
if you are listening, please help me.
2490
01:36:53.260 --> 01:36:53.819
What's going on?
2491
01:36:54.760 --> 01:36:57.539
On my DMs. So I only have it set to
2492
01:36:57.659 --> 01:36:58.729
I see primary.
2493
01:36:58.739 --> 01:36:59.090
Yeah.
2494
01:36:59.329 --> 01:37:02.810
So I only see who I follow. DMS, right? Something's
2495
01:37:02.909 --> 01:37:06.520
glitching and people's DMS are coming in about like five
2496
01:37:06.560 --> 01:37:09.960
of them are coming in for people. I do not follow.
2497
01:37:10.779 --> 01:37:12.859
And you see the top where it goes primary or general.
2498
01:37:12.960 --> 01:37:15.180
You're sure you're not in general. Yeah, but I didn't
2499
01:37:15.199 --> 01:37:17.260
mean to insult you. You never know.
2500
01:37:17.439 --> 01:37:18.260
Mine's doing that too.
2501
01:37:19.060 --> 01:37:20.250
What's going on?
2502
01:37:20.319 --> 01:37:20.899
Oh, wow.
2503
01:37:21.060 --> 01:37:22.380
There's been a breach of security.
2504
01:37:22.619 --> 01:37:24.859
Did you want to ask Rob if he's checked primary
2505
01:37:24.880 --> 01:37:25.340
in general?
2506
01:37:25.779 --> 01:37:27.159
Well, you feel insulted by that.
2507
01:37:27.220 --> 01:37:27.520
I just.
2508
01:37:27.600 --> 01:37:29.340
I was trying to work through the things that have
2509
01:37:29.380 --> 01:37:30.420
plagued me in the past.
2510
01:37:30.460 --> 01:37:33.920
I know, but I told you that I follow primary,
2511
01:37:33.979 --> 01:37:35.600
so I've clearly looked at that.
2512
01:37:35.640 --> 01:37:38.119
Well, that did make me know that you know the difference.
2513
01:37:38.220 --> 01:37:38.779
Okay, good.
2514
01:37:38.800 --> 01:37:39.899
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2515
01:37:39.920 --> 01:37:40.520
Sorry I asked.
2516
01:37:40.779 --> 01:37:43.159
I check it a lot, and I keep checking it
2517
01:37:43.180 --> 01:37:46.159
because I'm like, what is happening? I've refreshed it. I
2518
01:37:46.159 --> 01:37:46.840
don't know what's going on.
2519
01:37:46.840 --> 01:37:48.760
Have you read any, though? Is the universe selecting?
2520
01:37:48.779 --> 01:37:49.720
That's what I'm about to say.
2521
01:37:49.800 --> 01:37:50.119
Okay.
2522
01:37:50.319 --> 01:37:52.699
So I don't want to, right?
2523
01:37:52.720 --> 01:37:53.000
I don't.
2524
01:37:53.020 --> 01:37:55.930
And then I'm also then telling Instagram. Give me more
2525
01:37:55.970 --> 01:37:56.189
of these.
2526
01:37:56.350 --> 01:37:57.010
That's true.
2527
01:37:57.090 --> 01:37:58.689
So I haven't been looking at them.
2528
01:37:58.810 --> 01:37:59.130
Yes.
2529
01:37:59.270 --> 01:38:02.789
But then today I got one and I, you know,
2530
01:38:02.810 --> 01:38:04.369
you can see the first couple words.
2531
01:38:04.510 --> 01:38:05.310
Uh-huh. Sure.
2532
01:38:05.369 --> 01:38:09.550
So it said itchy ear canals.
2533
01:38:10.189 --> 01:38:12.649
Okay. And now you're like, this could be a great tip.
2534
01:38:12.770 --> 01:38:13.170
Yes.
2535
01:38:13.369 --> 01:38:13.640
Yeah.
2536
01:38:13.949 --> 01:38:17.409
So I opened it and it said itchy ear canals
2537
01:38:17.619 --> 01:38:19.199
are a symptom of perimenopause.
2538
01:38:20.279 --> 01:38:22.659
Well, first of all, that person also commented. I read
2539
01:38:22.699 --> 01:38:23.319
that comment.
2540
01:38:23.710 --> 01:38:24.289
Oh, great.
2541
01:38:24.329 --> 01:38:27.199
They're hitting it from all angles, which is great. Unless
2542
01:38:27.239 --> 01:38:28.039
it's two different people.
2543
01:38:28.060 --> 01:38:32.600
I don't know. I just was like, fuck. Okay, so
2544
01:38:32.840 --> 01:38:34.020
I am in it.
2545
01:38:34.159 --> 01:38:37.090
But what's tricky is I have a really itchy ear condition,
2546
01:38:37.149 --> 01:38:40.720
but mine's from... Psoriatic arthritis, right? So I have to
2547
01:38:40.779 --> 01:38:43.479
put this... It's not a steroidal, but it acts like
2548
01:38:43.579 --> 01:38:45.199
a steroidal does. I have to put it around a
2549
01:38:45.239 --> 01:38:47.319
Q-tip and then do the inside of my ears because
2550
01:38:47.390 --> 01:38:51.189
I'll be plagued with crazy itchiness from psoriasis is in
2551
01:38:51.229 --> 01:38:51.710
my ears.
2552
01:38:51.989 --> 01:38:53.649
Yeah, but I don't have that.
2553
01:38:53.689 --> 01:38:56.510
You don't have psoriasis. I'm only saying... It.
2554
01:38:56.489 --> 01:38:58.409
Could be something else is what you're saying, which it
2555
01:38:59.380 --> 01:39:00.579
could be. It just.
2556
01:39:00.600 --> 01:39:02.020
It feels right.
2557
01:39:02.079 --> 01:39:05.109
Now that they said that and I am 39 years old, like....
2558
01:39:07.140 --> 01:39:08.420
And it hits Indians earlier.
2559
01:39:08.479 --> 01:39:09.899
We found out. Yes, that Mary Claire.
2560
01:39:09.920 --> 01:39:11.899
Because I think you're still young for it.
2561
01:39:12.479 --> 01:39:13.189
Yeah.
2562
01:39:13.520 --> 01:39:16.149
I mean, I think for Americans, I'd be a bit
2563
01:39:16.210 --> 01:39:20.890
young generally. But since she said that and my mom
2564
01:39:20.909 --> 01:39:24.430
hit menopause when she was 50. And it's a 10-year thing.
2565
01:39:24.489 --> 01:39:26.689
It's 11 years. Yeah, but this is a 10-year thing.
2566
01:39:26.829 --> 01:39:27.090
Okay.
2567
01:39:27.649 --> 01:39:32.069
So that is annoying if that's true, that that's why
2568
01:39:32.090 --> 01:39:32.880
I have it.
2569
01:39:32.970 --> 01:39:35.090
Okay. So you're going to go get your hormone levels
checked?
2570
01:39:35.149 --> 01:39:35.989
I think so.
2571
01:39:36.010 --> 01:39:36.479
Yeah, why not?
2572
01:39:36.630 --> 01:39:38.350
I think it's making me feel like I need to
2573
01:39:38.449 --> 01:39:45.329
do that. But then it did feel a little like, oh, God,
2574
01:39:45.390 --> 01:39:48.989
this timeline. Everything's happening.
2575
01:39:49.010 --> 01:39:50.329
It's scary.
2576
01:39:50.729 --> 01:39:52.630
The timeline of menopause? Yeah.
2577
01:39:52.970 --> 01:39:56.029
Menopause, babies, my eggs dying off.
2578
01:39:56.050 --> 01:39:56.449
Aging.
2579
01:39:56.949 --> 01:39:59.079
Aging, but specifically tied to children.
2580
01:39:59.100 --> 01:39:59.619
Mm-hmm.
2581
01:40:00.399 --> 01:40:03.899
And coming off of these babies, but then these kids
2582
01:40:03.920 --> 01:40:05.779
playing Monopoly. It was just a lot.
2583
01:40:06.079 --> 01:40:06.539
Yeah.
2584
01:40:07.260 --> 01:40:08.909
So I don't really know where I land, but that's
2585
01:40:08.949 --> 01:40:10.350
just what I've been thinking about.
2586
01:40:10.470 --> 01:40:11.390
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
2587
01:40:11.770 --> 01:40:14.229
And then, yeah, I do think I want to get
2588
01:40:14.289 --> 01:40:15.449
some sort of ointment.
2589
01:40:15.630 --> 01:40:18.270
Yeah, you should put an anti-itch in there.
2590
01:40:18.409 --> 01:40:18.529
Yeah.
2591
01:40:19.649 --> 01:40:20.409
It's so itchy.
2592
01:40:20.609 --> 01:40:24.020
I just read a post. Again, these posts present a science,
2593
01:40:24.380 --> 01:40:26.479
and they all say they have a study behind them,
2594
01:40:26.500 --> 01:40:28.659
but I don't chase down the study. Yeah. And then
2595
01:40:28.680 --> 01:40:30.659
it just gets in your head as fact. But the
2596
01:40:30.760 --> 01:40:33.060
one I read, the post was about the power of
2597
01:40:33.100 --> 01:40:35.479
the inside of a banana peel, that it is a
2598
01:40:35.539 --> 01:40:39.319
natural histamine reducer. So you can put it on. It's
2599
01:40:39.340 --> 01:40:41.380
saying you can put it on like mosquito bites, and
2600
01:40:41.399 --> 01:40:43.359
it'll get rid of like 90% of the histamine reaction.
2601
01:40:43.399 --> 01:40:43.720
Really?
2602
01:40:44.819 --> 01:40:47.949
And they even said that it's effective on warts, so
2603
01:40:47.989 --> 01:40:49.189
this really high percentage.
2604
01:40:49.210 --> 01:40:50.670
Interesting.
2605
01:40:51.050 --> 01:40:52.989
So maybe cram a banana peel in your ear and
2606
01:40:53.010 --> 01:40:54.550
see what happens.
2607
01:40:55.010 --> 01:40:56.550
Well, that's the other thing. As we've talked about, there's
2608
01:40:56.590 --> 01:40:58.890
so many mosquitoes. Like, what if I just have a
2609
01:40:58.909 --> 01:41:01.630
couple mosquito bites in there? I mean, circling back to
2610
01:41:01.649 --> 01:41:04.460
the original, there's a bug in my ear. Yeah, yeah.
2611
01:41:04.800 --> 01:41:05.319
Wow.
2612
01:41:05.579 --> 01:41:06.000
Okay.
2613
01:41:06.060
--> 01:41:07.039
Well, I'll try.
2614
01:41:07.060 --> 01:41:08.760
Well, how did you feel? I hung out with you
2615
01:41:08.800 --> 01:41:10.640
on Friday night, and you were in a real chipper mood.
2616
01:41:10.859 --> 01:41:10.979
Okay.
2617
01:41:14.770 --> 01:41:16.170
I'm allowed to be in a.
2618
01:41:16.250 --> 01:41:18.369
Little bit of funk. I wasn't saying you are. I
2619
01:41:18.409 --> 01:41:20.229
was just saying I hung out with you Friday and
2620
01:41:20.270 --> 01:41:22.590
you were in a super chipper mood. That was a
2621
01:41:22.609 --> 01:41:23.069
fun night.
2622
01:41:23.430 --> 01:41:24.840
Don't gaslight me.
2623
01:41:25.069 --> 01:41:25.569
I'm not.
2624
01:41:25.609 --> 01:41:26.600
What do you think I'm saying?
2625
01:41:26.649 --> 01:41:27.779
I don't know what you're saying.
2626
01:41:27.859 --> 01:41:29.760
I'm saying we had fun Friday night. You were in
2627
01:41:29.779 --> 01:41:30.819
a very giggly mood.
2628
01:41:30.840 --> 01:41:32.800
Oh, you just want to talk about Friday night?
2629
01:41:32.819 --> 01:41:33.979
Yes. Oh, I see.
2630
01:41:34.020 --> 01:41:38.069
Okay. Yeah, it was fun. I thought you were saying
2631
01:41:38.529 --> 01:41:41.609
things have changed since Friday, which I do think you
2632
01:41:41.649 --> 01:41:42.109
were saying.
2633
01:41:42.149 --> 01:41:42.779
I wasn't. Okay.
2634
01:41:42.960 --> 01:41:44.520
Okay. I believe you. No, I'm just trying to get
2635
01:41:44.579 --> 01:41:46.359
us to the next piece of content, which I feel
2636
01:41:46.380 --> 01:41:47.899
like is watching that movie. And that was kind of
2637
01:41:47.960 --> 01:41:50.479
funny that I thought the surround system was so good
2638
01:41:50.760 --> 01:41:53.220
that I thought you were making weird screaming noises.
2639
01:41:53.300 --> 01:41:54.140
You were watching?
2640
01:41:54.220 --> 01:41:55.279
Violent Night Part 2.
2641
01:41:55.279 --> 01:41:56.930
Yes. Kristen's movie coming out.
2642
01:41:57.029 --> 01:41:57.449
Yes.
2643
01:41:57.489 --> 01:41:58.850
We got a sneak peek.
2644
01:41:58.890 --> 01:41:59.170
Yes.
2645
01:41:59.189 --> 01:42:02.289
We're watching in your movie theater. And the sound.
2646
01:42:02.609 --> 01:42:05.250
You were on the very far right of the room
2647
01:42:05.310 --> 01:42:06.630
and I was to the left.
2648
01:42:06.710 --> 01:42:06.989
Yeah.
2649
01:42:07.659 --> 01:42:09.899
Yeah. And you're right next to a surround speaker.
2650
01:42:10.279 --> 01:42:10.600
Yeah.
2651
01:42:10.649 --> 01:42:11.390
And I just hear like.
2652
01:42:12.649 --> 01:42:14.470
It was really loud.
2653
01:42:14.489 --> 01:42:17.579
Yeah. And I was like, wow, Monica's going for it.
2654
01:42:17.609 --> 01:42:21.840
Like she's feeling so tantrumy or something like she can't.
2655
01:42:23.100 --> 01:42:26.039
She's feeling unbridled. And it was really fun to think
2656
01:42:26.060 --> 01:42:27.579
you were over there just making a ton of noises,
2657
01:42:27.859 --> 01:42:28.960
like baby noises.
2658
01:42:28.979 --> 01:42:32.140
Yeah, there was like some baby laughter or something.
2659
01:42:32.159 --> 01:42:33.119
Some weird noise.
2660
01:42:33.140 --> 01:42:34.720
Anyway, it wasn't me. It was the movie.
2661
01:42:34.739 --> 01:42:37.180
But Lincoln also thought it was you, which was great, right?
2662
01:42:37.199 --> 01:42:40.039
Because she was between you and I. And she too
2663
01:42:40.079 --> 01:42:41.479
thought you were just starting to pop off.
2664
01:42:41.579 --> 01:42:44.340
I do have a question about that. So I don't
2665
01:42:45.420 --> 01:42:52.000
surround sound is a little, I think it's weird for me.
2666
01:42:52.340 --> 01:42:52.859
Tell me more.
2667
01:42:53.350 --> 01:42:57.699
I think my brain doesn't like it. Yeah. Because also
2668
01:42:57.739 --> 01:43:02.279
at the beginning of the movie, I couldn't understand anything.
2669
01:43:02.300 --> 01:43:02.840
Uh-huh.
2670
01:43:03.229 --> 01:43:06.300
And I didn't know... If it was, you know, the
2671
01:43:06.310 --> 01:43:08.840
bugs in my ear, now I know perimenopause.
2672
01:43:08.880 --> 01:43:09.680
Yeah.
2673
01:43:09.779 --> 01:43:11.899
Or it was like sound mixing. I didn't know what
2674
01:43:11.939 --> 01:43:12.779
was going on, right?
2675
01:43:12.840 --> 01:43:14.819
Yeah, yeah. We don't even know if we're watching a
2676
01:43:14.899 --> 01:43:17.140
final mix. Exactly. The movie doesn't come out for months.
2677
01:43:17.180 --> 01:43:18.939
That's what I kind of wanted to ask, but then
2678
01:43:18.960 --> 01:43:20.960
I felt scared to ask in case.
2679
01:43:21.159 --> 01:43:23.340
It was implying the quality wasn't good? Correct. Yeah.
2680
01:43:23.500 --> 01:43:26.640
So then I go, am I the only, and then
2681
01:43:26.699 --> 01:43:30.720
I stop, right? Because I felt, yeah. And then Lincoln
2682
01:43:30.739 --> 01:43:34.029
looked over, and I was like, I feel I can't
2683
01:43:34.109 --> 01:43:35.850
understand what they're saying.
2684
01:43:36.229 --> 01:43:36.939
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
2685
01:43:37.229 --> 01:43:39.439
And she was like, oh, he said, and she just
2686
01:43:39.520 --> 01:43:42.520
said exactly, she didn't have any problems.
2687
01:43:42.720 --> 01:43:44.180
Well, right, they have those young ears.
2688
01:43:44.199 --> 01:43:44.800
Yes.
2689
01:43:44.920 --> 01:43:47.239
And she can hear lyrics. Like, she's also just good
2690
01:43:47.260 --> 01:43:48.939
at parsing out.
2691
01:43:49.039 --> 01:43:51.880
And she watches a lot in that zone.
2692
01:43:51.979 --> 01:43:52.279
Sure.
2693
01:43:52.520 --> 01:43:55.430
So then I was like, oh, no, it is me.
2694
01:43:55.789 --> 01:43:56.369
This is bad.
2695
01:43:56.390 --> 01:44:01.109
Well, no, several things. A, common complaint. I think everyone agrees.
2696
01:44:01.390 --> 01:44:03.970
They do not mix the dialogue loud enough. The dialogue's
2697
01:44:04.010 --> 01:44:06.069
coming out of the center channel because you're
looking at
2698
01:44:06.109 --> 01:44:09.609
the person, so the sound would be emanating from in
2699
01:44:09.670 --> 01:44:12.810
front of you. Unless someone behind you is talking, that's
2700
01:44:12.850 --> 01:44:14.439
when it would come through the surround.
2701
01:44:14.819 --> 01:44:15.640
Uh-huh.
2702
01:44:15.760 --> 01:44:18.060
Right? As whatever point of view the lens is.
2703
01:44:18.079 --> 01:44:18.680
Right.
2704
01:44:18.720 --> 01:44:21.479
If a helicopter's approaching from behind the characters, you're going
2705
01:44:21.500 --> 01:44:23.279
to hear it there. Yeah. The goal is to give
2706
01:44:23.300 --> 01:44:27.640
you a sense of the 360-degree sound. But you happen
2707
01:44:27.659 --> 01:44:29.920
to be seated directly next to the surround speaker.
2708
01:44:30.060 --> 01:44:30.479
Yeah.
2709
01:44:30.500 --> 01:44:32.079
So you're going to be hearing it louder than all
2710
01:44:32.100 --> 01:44:32.439
of us.
2711
01:44:33.439 --> 01:44:34.380
Interesting, yeah.
2712
01:44:34.539 --> 01:44:35.989
Just because you're closest to it.
2713
01:44:36.560 --> 01:44:36.760
Right.
2714
01:44:36.779 --> 01:44:39.840
So probably for you, the mix was A, not good. Yeah.
2715
01:44:40.180 --> 01:44:43.010
Then B, they just in general do not mix dialogue
2716
01:44:43.050 --> 01:44:45.239
high enough. I can't tell. I was riding that. Did
2717
01:44:45.270 --> 01:44:47.930
you see me riding the volume like a rented mule?
2718
01:44:47.970 --> 01:44:49.489
Every time they were talking, I had to go up.
2719
01:44:49.529 --> 01:44:51.170
And then every time an action sequence started, I had
2720
01:44:51.189 --> 01:44:53.229
to go down because it would be overwhelming. And that,
2721
01:44:53.350 --> 01:44:55.029
I feel like, is so standard in movies.
2722
01:44:55.640 --> 01:44:58.750
Huh, yeah. I don't notice it in the movie theater,
2723
01:44:58.789 --> 01:44:59.130
I don't think.
2724
01:44:59.149 --> 01:44:59.909
You don't?
2725
01:45:00.029 --> 01:45:00.850
But maybe because it's such.
2726
01:45:01.050 --> 01:45:01.529
I don't know.
2727
01:45:01.630 --> 01:45:03.850
They go loud as fuck in the movie theater, too.
2728
01:45:03.949 --> 01:45:04.390
Yeah, yeah.
2729
01:45:04.430 --> 01:45:05.170
Just in general.
2730
01:45:05.189 --> 01:45:08.210
But I checked with Anna. She also couldn't understand anything,
2731
01:45:08.310 --> 01:45:11.010
and she thought maybe it was just because... Her accent.
2732
01:45:11.350 --> 01:45:14.170
Oh, and also there's often the little boy talking. I
2733
01:45:14.289 --> 01:45:15.569
couldn't hear what he was saying.
2734
01:45:15.590 --> 01:45:17.600
It was a sequence in the car. I was like,
2735
01:45:17.739 --> 01:45:19.899
I don't know anything that just happened.
2736
01:45:20.020 --> 01:45:20.220
Right.
2737
01:45:20.239 --> 01:45:26.960
So I got nervous. But anyway, it wasn't me participating, laughing, screaming, whatever.
2738
01:45:27.460 --> 01:45:28.850
It was just the movie itself.
2739
01:45:28.890 --> 01:45:31.250
Yeah, but it was so fun to think about it.
2740
01:45:31.550 --> 01:45:33.970
And then we had a really good laugh at the
2741
01:45:34.029 --> 01:45:34.770
notion of you.
2742
01:45:34.949 --> 01:45:35.890
It would have been great.
2743
01:45:35.970 --> 01:45:38.430
Yeah. Next time, just start doing that, maybe.
2744
01:45:38.569 --> 01:45:38.850
Okay.
2745
01:45:38.970 --> 01:45:39.149
Okay.
2746
01:45:41.159 --> 01:45:45.840
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
2747
01:45:53.869 --> 01:45:55.770
I have a couple sim moments I want to talk about.
2748
01:45:55.829 --> 01:45:56.149
Oh, great.
2749
01:45:56.189 --> 01:45:58.369
That are huge. One has to do with you.
2750
01:45:58.390 --> 01:45:59.210
Oh, good.
2751
01:45:59.579 --> 01:46:02.619
So for a couple weeks or a month or something,
2752
01:46:02.859 --> 01:46:06.350
you brought up a couple times that there is a
2753
01:46:06.470 --> 01:46:10.189
place in Nashville called Lebanon.
2754
01:46:10.470 --> 01:46:10.770
Oh, yeah.
2755
01:46:10.789 --> 01:46:11.810
Spelled Lebanon.
2756
01:46:12.010 --> 01:46:12.289
Yes.
2757
01:46:12.369 --> 01:46:12.939
And you brought this up.
2758
01:46:12.949 --> 01:46:14.109
Next town over for me.
2759
01:46:14.250 --> 01:46:16.189
You brought this up a couple times. It's like it's
2760
01:46:16.250 --> 01:46:18.970
funny because it's spelled Lebanon, but they pronounce it Lebanon.
2761
01:46:19.130 --> 01:46:19.350
Yeah.
2762
01:46:19.369 --> 01:46:19.569
Great.
2763
01:46:20.350 --> 01:46:26.819
I had to send, unfortunately, some sympathy flowers and to
2764
01:46:26.880 --> 01:46:27.939
my friend's mother.
2765
01:46:28.180 --> 01:46:28.380
Okay.
2766
01:46:28.659 --> 01:46:29.819
And they live in Tennessee.
2767
01:46:29.840 --> 01:46:30.439
Uh-huh.
2768
01:46:30.779 --> 01:46:31.020
Okay.
2769
01:46:31.039 --> 01:46:34.060
And I couldn't get them there. And it was like
2770
01:46:34.100 --> 01:46:37.529
a whole thing. And so I had to ask my
2771
01:46:37.630 --> 01:46:42.520
friend for help. And she was like, well, you can
2772
01:46:42.579 --> 01:46:47.020
always send it to, okay, my friend's grandfather passed away.
2773
01:46:47.199 --> 01:46:47.420
Okay.
2774
01:46:47.439 --> 01:46:48.859
So she was like, you can always send it to
2775
01:46:48.979 --> 01:46:52.510
his house. My mom is going to be there next week.
2776
01:46:52.529 --> 01:46:53.210
Yeah, yeah.
2777
01:46:53.449 --> 01:46:55.630
And I was like, okay, I'll do that. And she
2778
01:46:55.649 --> 01:46:58.149
sent the address. And it was.
2779
01:46:58.189 --> 01:46:58.630
Lebanon.
2780
01:46:59.010 --> 01:47:00.909
Lebanon Road.
2781
01:47:01.270 --> 01:47:01.890
Yeah, sure.
2782
01:47:02.470 --> 01:47:05.869
And in Old Hickory, Mount Juliet.
2783
01:47:06.550 --> 01:47:07.270
Oh, really?
2784
01:47:07.289 --> 01:47:07.409
Yeah.
2785
01:47:08.600 --> 01:47:11.159
Wow. I know. So a neighbor. I know.
2786
01:47:11.220 -->
01:47:13.920
And I feel like she once told me that, like,
2787
01:47:14.000 --> 01:47:16.899
that's where Papa's from. But I didn't, or like, that's
2788
01:47:16.920 --> 01:47:19.800
where Papa lives. And I didn't really put it together.
2789
01:47:19.819 --> 01:47:21.380
But when I was seeing it all written out, it
2790
01:47:21.420 --> 01:47:25.180
was so weird. It was like, whoa, yeah, really, it's
2791
01:47:25.239 --> 01:47:26.060
the same place.
2792
01:47:26.510 --> 01:47:30.689
And Rob's friend Hanford also lives in Mount Juliet. I
2793
01:47:30.689 --> 01:47:33.000
almost said Lebanon. But, yeah, I believe Mount Juliet Road
2794
01:47:33.039 --> 01:47:35.239
turns into Lebanon Road. Wow.
2795
01:47:35.260 --> 01:47:37.020
I know. Isn't that so crazy?
2796
01:47:37.050 --> 01:47:40.689
I moved to secretly the hippest place in Nashville.
2797
01:47:40.909 --> 01:47:41.970
Where Pawpaw lives.
2798
01:47:42.010 --> 01:47:43.710
Where Pawpaw lives.
2799
01:47:44.390 --> 01:47:50.170
Isn't that so strange? Like, Pawpaw, who I've known since
2800
01:47:50.670 --> 01:47:55.510
I was 13, 14— Isn't that weird though? It's like
2801
01:47:55.609 --> 01:47:58.819
Papa came there and then you came there.
2802
01:47:59.359 --> 01:47:59.920
Weird.
2803
01:47:59.960 --> 01:48:00.800
And I'm in the middle.
2804
01:48:00.960 --> 01:48:02.100
So that was Sim number one.
2805
01:48:02.319 --> 01:48:05.439
Yeah, that was Sim. Okay, another Sim. Crazy.
2806
01:48:05.699 --> 01:48:07.220
Uh-oh.
2807
01:48:07.239 --> 01:48:08.300
I was at Kara.
2808
01:48:08.979 --> 01:48:09.239
Yeah.
2809
01:48:09.340 --> 01:48:17.289
And I randomly got like a craving slash just I
2810
01:48:17.369 --> 01:48:19.170
thought of chewy granola bars.
2811
01:48:19.329 --> 01:48:19.949
Do you remember?
2812
01:48:20.390 --> 01:48:20.930
Chewy?
2813
01:48:20.949 --> 01:48:21.890
Yeah, the brand.
2814
01:48:22.149 --> 01:48:22.510
Yes.
2815
01:48:22.569 --> 01:48:22.789
Yeah.
2816
01:48:23.109 --> 01:48:23.789
They're still around.
2817
01:48:24.210 --> 01:48:24.430
Okay.
2818
01:48:24.449 --> 01:48:28.800
Well, so I haven't thought about Chewy Granola Bars 45 years.
2819
01:48:28.979 --> 01:48:32.039
Okay. Since you were hanging with Papa. Uh-huh. Yeah.
2820
01:48:32.640 --> 01:48:34.640
A long, long, long time. I just don't think about them.
2821
01:48:34.680 --> 01:48:37.140
I never see them at the grocery. I don't know.
2822
01:48:37.960 --> 01:48:38.119
And.
2823
01:48:38.890 --> 01:48:41.399
For some reason, I thought to just ask Anthony. I
2824
01:48:41.409 --> 01:48:44.520
just texted Anthony. I said, do you remember chewy granola bars?
2825
01:48:44.779 --> 01:48:45.000
Yeah.
2826
01:48:45.239 --> 01:48:48.119
And he said, I just ate one five minutes ago.
2827
01:48:48.600 --> 01:48:50.000
Really? Well, he has children.
2828
01:48:50.439 --> 01:48:54.140
But just, but not even, the fact that I thought
2829
01:48:54.180 --> 01:48:56.270
and he just ate it and that I thought to
2830
01:48:56.310 --> 01:48:59.029
text him of all, like, just kind of randomly.
2831
01:48:59.130 --> 01:48:59.789
Yeah.
2832
01:49:00.890 --> 01:49:01.550
What?
2833
01:49:01.590 --> 01:49:02.970
Did he eat the chocolate chip one?
2834
01:49:03.310 --> 01:49:05.270
I didn't ask for, I bet that was the kind
2835
01:49:05.430 --> 01:49:05.789
I liked.
2836
01:49:05.829 --> 01:49:07.390
Yeah, I think everyone preferred those.
2837
01:49:07.880 --> 01:49:13.090
I just, what? And he wasn't as freaked out as me.
2838
01:49:13.109 --> 01:49:16.810
Because they've never left his purview, probably.
2839
01:49:16.829 --> 01:49:17.369
Yeah, exactly.
2840
01:49:17.390 --> 01:49:19.810
So for years, it had been gone for 40 years
2841
01:49:19.869 --> 01:49:20.210
or whatever.
2842
01:49:20.270 --> 01:49:21.090
I think my brain.
2843
01:49:21.130 --> 01:49:23.149
You're not even 40 years old, so not 40 years.
2844
01:49:23.609 --> 01:49:28.449
I think my brain must have known he, like, he
2845
01:49:28.479 --> 01:49:28.949
had it.
2846
01:49:29.310 --> 01:49:31.600
That he had just enjoyed one. He sent out a
2847
01:49:31.619 --> 01:49:35.899
little pulse in the universe. That said, he's satisfied in
2848
01:49:35.930 --> 01:49:38.090
the way that only Chewies can satisfy him. It's a
2849
01:49:38.109 --> 01:49:41.029
very fingerprint-y signature.
2850
01:49:41.600 --> 01:49:44.609
But we lived together for a long time. I don't remember.
2851
01:49:44.829 --> 01:49:46.090
He wasn't gorging himself on Chewies.
2852
01:49:46.109 --> 01:49:46.970
I don't think so.
2853
01:49:47.109 --> 01:49:48.329
I think it's because he has kids.
2854
01:49:48.729 --> 01:49:50.689
Well, for sure. It makes sense why he has them
2855
01:49:50.710 --> 01:49:52.710
at his house, but it makes no sense that I
2856
01:49:52.750 --> 01:49:55.250
would have randomly thought of them and then he had
2857
01:49:55.289 --> 01:49:56.069
just eaten one.
2858
01:49:56.100 --> 01:49:56.960
Yeah.
2859
01:49:56.979 --> 01:49:58.000
It's so weird.
2860
01:49:58.079 --> 01:49:59.960
It's spooky. Just in time for Halloween.
2861
01:50:00.079 --> 01:50:03.180
That's what he said. He made it about Halloween and spookiness,
2862
01:50:03.199 --> 01:50:05.399
and I was like, no, this is about powers.
2863
01:50:05.600 --> 01:50:07.300
Okay, this is standalone. All right.
2864
01:50:07.359 --> 01:50:07.640
Yeah. Okay.
2865
01:50:08.850 --> 01:50:09.069
Um....
2866
01:50:11.130 --> 01:50:12.489
So that was crazy.
2867
01:50:12.729 --> 01:50:14.170
Yeah. Who are you going to be for Halloween?
2868
01:50:14.750 --> 01:50:16.890
Who should I be? A chewy granola bar?
2869
01:50:17.310 --> 01:50:19.550
Sure. Chocolate chip? Chewy baka.
2870
01:50:20.770 --> 01:50:23.470
Oh, that's fun. But I don't think that's a cute
2871
01:50:23.569 --> 01:50:24.369
outfit for me.
2872
01:50:24.729 --> 01:50:27.810
Probably too hot given the trajectory.
2873
01:50:27.289 --> 01:50:27.770
We're on currently.
2874
01:50:27.789 --> 01:50:28.069
That's true.
2875
01:50:28.149 --> 01:50:30.050
Although next week it's supposed to be in the 70s.
2876
01:50:30.510 --> 01:50:34.729
Oh, well, it's been 100 or more for the last
2877
01:50:35.069 --> 01:50:35.890
four days straight.
2878
01:50:36.090 --> 01:50:36.970
It's been stifling.
2879
01:50:37.010 --> 01:50:37.729
It's been violent.
2880
01:50:37.970 --> 01:50:38.069
Yeah.
2881
01:50:38.090 --> 01:50:38.850
It's been aggressive.
2882
01:50:38.909 --> 01:50:39.800
It's been hostile.
2883
01:50:39.850 --> 01:50:40.399
Ding, ding, ding.
2884
01:50:41.149 --> 01:50:41.949
You can't leave the house.
2885
01:50:42.529 --> 01:50:43.470
I know, but I have.
2886
01:50:43.649 --> 01:50:44.409
You've been leaving the house.
2887
01:50:44.430 --> 01:50:45.430
And then I do get headaches.
2888
01:50:45.850 --> 01:50:47.729
Back to your kids playing Monopoly.
2889
01:50:47.750 --> 01:50:48.109
Uh-huh.
2890
01:50:48.350 --> 01:50:52.560
The thing I've had to— I' ve successfully reframed is there's a
2891
01:50:52.680 --> 01:50:54.739
whole lot of driving your kids all over the place.
2892
01:50:55.020 --> 01:50:55.300
Yeah.
2893
01:50:55.479 --> 01:50:57.800
Which is never— I' m never in the mood to, like, get
2894
01:50:57.880 --> 01:51:00.529
up and go drive across town for any reason.
2895
01:51:00.550 --> 01:51:00.890
Uh-huh.
2896
01:51:01.180 --> 01:51:04.079
But I've really successfully reframed it where it's like, A,
2897
01:51:04.119 --> 01:51:07.060
I love driving. Yeah. B, it's an opportunity for me
2898
01:51:07.090 --> 01:51:09.750
to drive these cars I collect that otherwise I wouldn't drive.
2899
01:51:09.770 --> 01:51:10.149
Yeah.
2900
01:51:10.569 --> 01:51:13.710
And then B, I'm in with them, obviously. It's just
2901
01:51:13.729 --> 01:51:16.590
the two of us going somewhere. So I've been driving
2902
01:51:16.649 --> 01:51:19.170
a lot lately, and I've actually been enjoying it lately.
2903
01:51:19.189 --> 01:51:24.590
That's nice. Yeah. And one operation was to pick Delta
2904
01:51:24.609 --> 01:51:26.050
and her friend up at Target.
2905
01:51:26.369 --> 01:51:27.310
Okay.
2906
01:51:27.350 --> 01:51:29.829
What I love is Target is a comp for my
2907
01:51:29.890 --> 01:51:30.850
mall experience.
2908
01:51:30.869 --> 01:51:30.989
Right.
2909
01:51:31.390 --> 01:51:34.789
Like, she wants to be dropped off at Target. Yeah, yeah.
2910
01:51:35.010 --> 01:51:38.189
Which we did. Okay. And so I had to pick
2911
01:51:38.229 --> 01:51:40.630
her up at 510 in the parking lot, but I'm like,
2912
01:51:40.930 --> 01:51:43.250
I'm a half hour early. I wanted to buy fake cheese.
2913
01:51:43.270 --> 01:51:45.770
And I'm like, I'll just go up into Target and
2914
01:51:45.829 --> 01:51:46.550
sniff around.
2915
01:51:46.569 --> 01:51:46.649
Okay.
2916
01:51:47.090 --> 01:51:50.800
End up buying some Starbucks coffee pods that are butterscotch flavor.
2917
01:51:50.810 --> 01:51:50.979
Ooh.
2918
01:51:51.060 --> 01:51:51.640
Really nice.
2919
01:51:51.880 --> 01:51:52.380
Oh, yum.
2920
01:51:52.489 --> 01:51:54.100
And then all this fake cheese.
2921
01:51:54.109 --> 01:51:54.560
Okay.
2922
01:51:54.979 --> 01:51:58.449
Trying to help Delta with her. goal of not eating
2923
01:51:58.489 --> 01:51:59.390
dairy because.
2924
01:51:59.229 --> 01:52:01.350
She has same congestion i do so what's.
2925
01:52:01.310 --> 01:52:03.850
She has quit eating dairy it's very impressive to see
2926
01:52:03.909 --> 01:52:08.250
an 11 year old self regulate and we we we
2927
01:52:08.270 --> 01:52:11.350
do a daily gratitude like less not today less coughing
2928
01:52:11.390 --> 01:52:13.550
yeah okay let's we gotta he's got to focus on
2929
01:52:13.569 --> 01:52:15.590
what the wins are when you quit shit because you
2930
01:52:15.630 --> 01:52:17.529
just forget that there's any anyways.
2931
01:52:17.569 --> 01:52:21.039
Vegan cheese Or like what's fake cheese?
2932
01:52:21.229 --> 01:52:22.899
I think it's all oil is what they make it
2933
01:52:22.939 --> 01:52:23.520
out of ultimately.
2934
01:52:23.560 --> 01:52:23.770
Right.
2935
01:52:23.779 --> 01:52:25.670
But it tastes good and it melts. Did you ever
2936
01:52:25.729 --> 01:52:28.270
have the badass breakfast sandwiches we used to get all
2937
01:52:28.289 --> 01:52:30.449
the time? Oh, yeah. Those were everything on that was fake.
2938
01:52:30.489 --> 01:52:32.090
The meat was fake. The cheese was fake.
2939
01:52:32.109 --> 01:52:33.029
I forgot about those.
2940
01:52:33.050 --> 01:52:34.170
Remember how delicious they were?
2941
01:52:34.189 --> 01:52:34.909
They were good, yeah.
2942
01:52:34.970 --> 01:52:38.829
That's what got me amenable to fake cheese. At any rate.
2943
01:52:39.630 --> 01:52:40.510
Okay, you went there.
2944
01:52:40.550 --> 01:52:43.550
I keep thinking I'm going to bump into them in
2945
01:52:43.829 --> 01:52:45.310
one of the aisles, but I'm not. So I've gone
2946
01:52:45.329 --> 01:52:47.470
through the whole store and then I got my shit
2947
01:52:47.489 --> 01:52:49.020
and I'm buying and I'm like, huh, I wonder where
2948
01:52:49.029 --> 01:52:50.899
they are. And then I look across and there's a
2949
01:52:50.920 --> 01:52:54.920
little cafe section behind the Starbucks inside Target. And I
2950
01:52:54.960 --> 01:52:56.600
just see the two of them at a table.
2951
01:52:56.739 --> 01:52:56.979
Yeah.
2952
01:52:57.699 --> 01:53:00.680
They're like playing with whatever slime they bought. Yeah. And
2953
01:53:00.699 --> 01:53:03.289
they're just, they're two girls hanging at the mall.
2954
01:53:03.550 --> 01:53:04.329
Oh, I love it.
2955
01:53:04.869 --> 01:53:07.649
And I got spotted by her friend. Sure.
2956
01:53:08.130 --> 01:53:08.909
Don't do your dad's here.
2957
01:53:09.109 --> 01:53:11.369
Yeah. And I was like, oh shit, I'm cramping her style.
2958
01:53:11.390 --> 01:53:13.850
This is fine. She wasn't bothered. I'm just telling you
2959
01:53:13.890
--> 01:53:15.960
that I saw my little girl from afar.
2960
01:53:16.140 --> 01:53:16.500
Yeah.
2961
01:53:16.800 --> 01:53:19.819
With her girlfriend at a little table. Having like a
2962
01:53:19.859 --> 01:53:20.560
girl's day.
2963
01:53:20.579 --> 01:53:23.539
So cute. Well, I thought it's funny because on Friday,
2964
01:53:23.560 --> 01:53:25.420
the Friday we just spoke of.
2965
01:53:25.520 --> 01:53:25.800
Yeah.
2966
01:53:25.859 --> 01:53:28.899
When I came over to watch the movie, we all
2967
01:53:28.920 --> 01:53:32.239
had dinner and then we waited a minute because you
2968
01:53:32.279 --> 01:53:33.600
had to go pick up Lincoln.
2969
01:53:33.619 --> 01:53:33.699
Yeah.
2970
01:53:35.399 --> 01:53:37.880
From a hang at a restaurant.
2971
01:53:37.960 --> 01:53:38.579
Yes.
2972
01:53:38.880 --> 01:53:41.479
And you left and I thought, I was like. God,
2973
01:53:41.789 --> 01:53:46.229
I like had this visual of you driving up and
2974
01:53:46.310 --> 01:53:50.310
picking up your daughter from a hang. And it was so,
2975
01:53:50.329 --> 01:53:53.770
it was like, it's so cute. And it's so, I
2976
01:53:54.630 --> 01:53:58.039
like know the feeling so well. My dad dropping me
2977
01:53:58.119 --> 01:54:00.239
off and picking me up at the, yeah, the mall
2978
01:54:00.300 --> 01:54:03.340
or the movies or any of these things. And like,
2979
01:54:03.659 --> 01:54:07.060
you're him, like you're a dad that picks up their
2980
01:54:07.119 --> 01:54:10.789
kids from hangs. It's so strange.
2981
01:54:11.050 --> 01:54:13.109
And I'm trying to really enjoy it. And I'm successfully,
2982
01:54:13.130 --> 01:54:15.189
I've just currently started really, really enjoying it.
2983
01:54:15.310 --> 01:54:16.550
That's very good.
2984
01:54:16.649 --> 01:54:17.810
I floated the whole ride home.
2985
01:54:17.829 --> 01:54:23.229
But yeah, there are just moments, you know, when to
2986
01:54:23.260 --> 01:54:27.260
get existential, but you know, like you can really, you know,
2987
01:54:27.340 --> 01:54:30.539
people in relation to you and you can of course
2988
01:54:30.640 --> 01:54:34.619
be empathetic and sympathetic and understand that there are other people,
2989
01:54:34.640 --> 01:54:37.399
they are themselves and their place in the world with
2990
01:54:37.420 --> 01:54:37.680
other people.
2991
01:54:37.699 --> 01:54:39.159
They exist without you, in a sense.
2992
01:54:39.729 --> 01:54:41.909
Yeah, but it's just very, like, then there are just
2993
01:54:42.029 --> 01:54:46.630
certain moments that click. They're fleeting, right? But, like, that
2994
01:54:46.670 --> 01:54:48.510
was a moment where I was like, yeah, he's just
2995
01:54:48.550 --> 01:54:49.689
someone's dad.
2996
01:54:49.989 --> 01:54:50.510
That's right.
2997
01:54:50.710 --> 01:54:52.170
Like, it's so, you're just like.
2998
01:54:52.210 --> 01:54:52.729
I'm Ashok.
2999
01:54:53.350 --> 01:54:55.649
Yeah, you're just someone's dad.
3000
01:54:55.710 --> 01:54:56.449
I'm her Ashok.
3001
01:54:57.149 --> 01:54:57.510
Yeah.
3002
01:54:57.850 --> 01:54:59.029
It's so wild.
3003
01:54:59.300 --> 01:55:02.859
I know, it's wild for me. I love it. You
3004
01:55:02.920 --> 01:55:04.600
know how you always, in life, you a little bit
3005
01:55:04.619 --> 01:55:07.949
feel like you're playing a character? Yeah. And I do.
3006
01:55:08.010 --> 01:55:10.659
I'm like, oh, I'm playing the character of a dad. Oh,
3007
01:55:10.659 --> 01:55:13.539
you feel that? Well, I'm just aware of exactly what
3008
01:55:13.560 --> 01:55:15.859
you're saying. Like, oh, I'm a middle-aged man picking up
3009
01:55:15.880 --> 01:55:16.819
my teenage daughter.
3010
01:55:16.859 --> 01:55:17.319
Yeah.
3011
01:55:17.520 --> 01:55:19.659
That feels like a character I once knew about.
3012
01:55:19.930 --> 01:55:20.390
Right.
3013
01:55:20.649 --> 01:55:21.949
But now I'm that character.
3014
01:55:21.970 --> 01:55:22.529
I know.
3015
01:55:22.569 --> 01:55:26.850
And so you have this awareness of Exactly what you're saying. Like,
3016
01:55:27.069 --> 01:55:28.949
I know what I look like. I look like a
3017
01:55:28.989 --> 01:55:32.449
middle-aged man picking up his daughter or daughters.
3018
01:55:32.760 --> 01:55:33.239
Yeah.
3019
01:55:33.500 --> 01:55:35.260
And I don't know. I'm just aware of what that
3020
01:55:35.319 --> 01:55:38.229
looks like. I have some level of self-awareness of it.
3021
01:55:38.319 --> 01:55:41.520
And then just obviously the intrinsic feeling of it all.
3022
01:55:41.560 --> 01:55:42.939
But those two things are chatting.
3023
01:55:43.000 --> 01:55:43.380
I know.
3024
01:55:43.479 --> 01:55:46.539
It's just so... That's like Callie's mom and Callie's dad.
3025
01:55:46.619 --> 01:55:49.920
Callie's mom and Callie's dad are still Callie's mom and
3026
01:55:49.939 --> 01:55:52.760
Callie's dad to me forever, even though I'm 39 years old.
3027
01:55:53.939 --> 01:55:56.399
And I'm an adult enough to like do adult things
3028
01:55:57.180 --> 01:56:02.119
with them. But like we'll never be adults together.
3029
01:56:02.140 --> 01:56:04.930
Their primary identity will always be the parent of your friends.
3030
01:56:04.979 --> 01:56:09.369
Yes. And like that's you. You're Lincoln and Delta's dad
3031
01:56:09.470 --> 01:56:10.989
to like a lot of people.
3032
01:56:11.010 --> 01:56:13.970
Yeah. And I think some parents get frustrated that their
3033
01:56:14.010 --> 01:56:17.399
kids can't see them as people. Right. Right. You know,
3034
01:56:17.460 --> 01:56:20.779
it's my great regret, right, that I couldn't have better
3035
01:56:20.819 --> 01:56:24.140
seen my dad as just a person and not my dad.
3036
01:56:24.319 --> 01:56:24.579
Yeah.
3037
01:56:24.819 --> 01:56:27.659
But I would say it should be embraced because it's
3038
01:56:27.680 --> 01:56:28.500
a very unique.
3039
01:56:28.779 --> 01:56:29.199
It is.
3040
01:56:29.220 --> 01:56:30.840
Like, I don't think you're supposed to.
3041
01:56:30.880 --> 01:56:33.319
No, I think you're supposed to embrace it and you're
3042
01:56:33.399 --> 01:56:38.250
supposed to. Get yourself to enjoy, oh, yeah, they look
3043
01:56:38.289 --> 01:56:39.810
at me just like I looked at my parents.
3044
01:56:39.850 --> 01:56:39.949
Yeah.
3045
01:56:39.970 --> 01:56:41.069
And that's how it is.
3046
01:56:41.130 --> 01:56:41.369
Yeah, exactly.
3047
01:56:41.390 --> 01:56:43.689
And there's something about it that, you know.
3048
01:56:43.710 --> 01:56:45.710
Like that shouldn't be messed with, right?
3049
01:56:45.750 --> 01:56:48.420
Yeah, yeah. Like it's not an accident that this is
3050
01:56:48.460 --> 01:56:49.060
how it works.
3051
01:56:49.079 --> 01:56:50.000
It's very strange.
3052
01:56:50.039 --> 01:56:50.239
Yeah.
3053
01:56:50.520 --> 01:56:52.960
But you want to go like, you realize you're driving
3054
01:56:53.020 --> 01:56:56.140
me insane, right? I'm a normal person with a normal
3055
01:56:56.220 --> 01:56:57.060
threshold of.
3056
01:56:58.119 --> 01:56:59.279
But who can care?
3057
01:56:59.600 --> 01:57:01.819
You don't give a fuck if it's your parents.
3058
01:57:02.220 --> 01:57:03.270
Just don't care at all.
3059
01:57:03.279 --> 01:57:03.840
Nor should they.
3060
01:57:05.329 --> 01:57:06.789
Okay, I have to out myself.
3061
01:57:07.829 --> 01:57:07.949
Uh-oh.
3062
01:57:08.430 --> 01:57:13.270
Because when we did Facts for Ash and I was
3063
01:57:13.409 --> 01:57:18.909
reading Phineas' response and then I read our exchange.
3064
01:57:19.029 --> 01:57:19.350
Yes.
3065
01:57:19.569 --> 01:57:23.109
And I used the phrase waterproof evidence.
3066
01:57:23.510 --> 01:57:23.670
Yep.
3067
01:57:23.810 --> 01:57:25.470
And then you said, is that a phrase? But I
3068
01:57:25.489 --> 01:57:26.989
just moved on, okay? Yep, yep.
3069
01:57:27.939 --> 01:57:28.569
And I let it go.
3070
01:57:29.340 --> 01:57:33.680
Thank God. And then after, I was like, oh, yeah,
3071
01:57:33.720 --> 01:57:39.569
that isn't right. It's watertight. So then I voice memoed
3072
01:57:39.609 --> 01:57:44.069
you that. And then you said that's also wrong.
3073
01:57:44.090 --> 01:57:50.180
Well, I just said the popular, the colloquial term is airtight.
3074
01:57:50.460 --> 01:57:55.920
Which, like. I think watertight makes sense, though, because if
3075
01:57:55.939 --> 01:57:58.659
you have a Tupperware and it's filled with water and
3076
01:57:58.680 --> 01:58:01.550
you turn it upside down and it doesn't leak out
3077
01:58:01.590 --> 01:58:03.710
that water, it's watertight.
3078
01:58:03.729 --> 01:58:05.569
Yeah, and that's great.
3079
01:58:05.710 --> 01:58:08.270
And I prefer that over some air leaking out.
3080
01:58:08.949 --> 01:58:12.340
Okay, but I think it's— if it's airtight, it'll be watertight.
3081
01:58:12.649 --> 01:58:13.279
I just don't know.
3082
01:58:13.300 --> 01:58:16.340
Because air is smaller than water. So if air can't
3083
01:58:16.359 --> 01:58:19.800
get out, then certainly
water can't. It's like, you know,
3084
01:58:19.819 --> 01:58:22.619
you're going to the nth degree.
3085
01:58:22.640 --> 01:58:23.460
Okay.
3086
01:58:24.199 --> 01:58:26.989
You're going to stick with watertight. That's fine.
3087
01:58:27.010 --> 01:58:27.609
I think I like it.
3088
01:58:27.609 --> 01:58:30.130
And you should. You're just not going to get that
3089
01:58:30.369 --> 01:58:31.869
nostalgic knee jerk.
3090
01:58:32.090 --> 01:58:32.510
I see.
3091
01:58:32.720 --> 01:58:35.760
Not of familiarity that you're looking for.
3092
01:58:36.319 --> 01:58:37.159
Well, waterproof.
3093
01:58:37.180 --> 01:58:40.119
Like when you go like, no, this case is waterproof.
3094
01:58:40.220 --> 01:58:42.380
People are going to be like, hmm, I wonder if
3095
01:58:42.439 --> 01:58:45.180
she means. Like, does that mean the same thing as airtight?
3096
01:58:45.300 --> 01:58:47.180
Or does it mean something completely different?
3097
01:58:47.319 --> 01:58:48.720
Waterproof was wrong.
3098
01:58:49.180 --> 01:58:49.520
Yeah.
3099
01:58:49.800 --> 01:58:51.600
But watertight.
3100
01:58:51.989 --> 01:58:55.229
But even watertight, I think if you say it. People
3101
01:58:55.270 --> 01:58:57.300
will have to, they're not going to challenge you on
3102
01:58:57.359 --> 01:58:58.220
it like I didn't.
3103
01:58:58.260 --> 01:58:58.880
They shouldn't.
3104
01:58:59.359 --> 01:59:02.899
And then they're going to go, well, I assume about
3105
01:59:02.899 --> 01:59:06.250
60% that means the same thing as airtight. And also
3106
01:59:06.270 --> 01:59:08.789
they're going to have some anxiety that watertight means a
3107
01:59:08.829 --> 01:59:09.810
completely different thing.
3108
01:59:10.319 --> 01:59:12.609
Hopefully they just think it through and it causes them
3109
01:59:12.649 --> 01:59:14.369
to like really think a little.
3110
01:59:14.470 --> 01:59:16.729
And lose sight of what even you guys were talking about.
3111
01:59:16.770 --> 01:59:19.649
Yeah, they think about the Tupperware filled with water turning
3112
01:59:19.729 --> 01:59:20.149
upside down.
3113
01:59:20.310 --> 01:59:20.770
Oh, yeah.
3114
01:59:20.810 --> 01:59:22.909
I mean, I guess that makes sense. There's no water
3115
01:59:22.949 --> 01:59:23.550
leaking out.
3116
01:59:23.810 --> 01:59:24.090
Yeah.
3117
01:59:24.270 --> 01:59:26.050
And the water is the evidence.
3118
01:59:26.449 --> 01:59:29.229
And it's also just interesting because mostly they're pitching things
3119
01:59:29.310 --> 01:59:33.409
on being water resistant or waterproof, keeping water out. But
3120
01:59:33.449 --> 01:59:37.430
you want a new tradition where we talk about keeping
3121
01:59:37.470 --> 01:59:37.760
water out.
3122
01:59:38.609 --> 01:59:42.359
When we're talking about evidence leaking. When we're talking about leaking.
3123
01:59:42.380 --> 01:59:44.840
Because, again, a ship, you want to keep water out.
3124
01:59:45.079 --> 01:59:48.119
I think it's because, yeah, we're talking about
leaking. And
3125
01:59:48.159 --> 01:59:50.640
when I think about leaking, I don't think about air.
3126
01:59:50.979 --> 01:59:56.590
I think about water. Right. Nailed it. I have a
3127
01:59:56.609 --> 01:59:58.869
question for you, but I don't want to embarrass you.
3128
01:59:59.210 --> 02:00:01.979
Okay. Okay. Was it about my face?
3129
02:00:02.000 --> 02:00:03.079
Yes. Oh, great.
3130
02:00:03.119 --> 02:00:03.560
Great, great, great.
3131
02:00:03.619 --> 02:00:06.520
I was hoping it would come up on the interview
3132
02:00:06.550 --> 02:00:06.659
we did.
3133
02:00:06.689 --> 02:00:08.390
No, I was never going to bring that up on
3134
02:00:08.409 --> 02:00:08.689
the interview.
3135
02:00:08.710 --> 02:00:10.050
Oh, I would have been happy to because I have
3136
02:00:10.090 --> 02:00:11.829
a whole thing. Because we went to an event last night.
3137
02:00:12.510 --> 02:00:13.569
We went to a charity event.
3138
02:00:13.770 --> 02:00:13.949
Oh.
3139
02:00:14.289 --> 02:00:15.890
And I'm like, oh, there's going to be a red carpet.
3140
02:00:16.029 --> 02:00:18.689
I have my whole face is scarred up. And then
3141
02:00:18.729 --> 02:00:20.220
I was like, what will I tell?
3142
02:00:20.300 --> 02:00:21.460
There was a carpet?
3143
02:00:21.560 --> 02:00:25.079
Well, as it turned out, luckily, there wasn't any press.
3144
02:00:25.180 --> 02:00:27.340
But it was a fundraiser, so I was expecting there
3145
02:00:27.359 --> 02:00:29.659
to be press. Okay. And, of course, I'm not even
3146
02:00:29.689 --> 02:00:32.630
going to do an interview, but sometimes they happen.
3147
02:00:32.949 --> 02:00:33.689
Yeah, sure.
3148
02:00:34.229 --> 02:00:36.729
And so I was prepared to say that I was
3149
02:00:36.850 --> 02:00:41.489
operating a steel grinder, a metal grinder, and that the
3150
02:00:41.750 --> 02:00:44.970
sparks dotted me. Okay. And I was going to say,
3151
02:00:45.010 --> 02:00:48.130
hold on, I was going to lie, knowing the only
3152
02:00:48.170 --> 02:00:50.090
reason I was looking forward to this was to lie
3153
02:00:50.170 --> 02:00:53.920
in that interview so that arm cherries would have the
3154
02:00:53.960 --> 02:00:56.640
inside scoop. Arm cherries would go, no, that looks like
3155
02:00:56.680 --> 02:00:57.479
the high fricator 2000.
3156
02:00:57.460 --> 02:00:57.619
Uh-huh.
3157
02:00:59.319 --> 02:01:01.920
Okay, so for the listener who can't see.
3158
02:01:02.039 --> 02:01:06.180
Or watcher. Well, I think if they're watching, they can see.
3159
02:01:07.699 --> 02:01:12.319
That you have spots all over your face.
3160
02:01:12.359 --> 02:01:13.159
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3161
02:01:13.439 --> 02:01:14.479
Now it's called what?
3162
02:01:14.659 --> 02:01:17.239
Well, this was pointed out to me, and I thank
3163
02:01:17.319 --> 02:01:22.029
this commenter. A dermatologist wrote in about my hyphrocator.
3164
02:01:22.470 --> 02:01:23.760
Oh, but that's not what you were calling it.
3165
02:01:23.770 --> 02:01:25.890
I wasn't. I was calling it something completely.
3166
02:01:25.909 --> 02:01:27.630
You were calling it a high factor.
3167
02:01:27.670 --> 02:01:27.909
Yeah, yeah.
3168
02:01:27.989 --> 02:01:28.510
I liked that.
3169
02:01:28.550 --> 02:01:29.289
High fricator.
3170
02:01:29.310 --> 02:01:29.390
Okay.
3171
02:01:30.090 --> 02:01:31.649
And they taught me how to say it.
3172
02:01:31.810 --> 02:01:32.119
Okay.
3173
02:01:32.199 --> 02:01:34.039
And they said all in all they weren't terribly worried.
3174
02:01:34.079 --> 02:01:36.579
They thought that the pain would be a big enough dissuader. Oh,
3175
02:01:36.579 --> 02:01:39.859
they weren't. To prevent any real damage.
3176
02:01:39.899 --> 02:01:42.970
Okay, well, I think they might need to watch this episode.
3177
02:01:43.069 --> 02:01:45.850
No, listen, this is what I did last round, if
3178
02:01:45.890 --> 02:01:49.229
you recall. I had more last round. No. Yes, I
3179
02:01:49.250 --> 02:01:51.050
had way more around my neck and shoulders than I
3180
02:01:51.050 --> 02:01:51.430
had a shirt on.
3181
02:01:51.439 --> 02:01:52.220
I know, but this is on your face.
3182
02:01:52.260 --> 02:01:53.939
Yeah, yeah, it's on my face. Even the tip of
3183
02:01:53.979 --> 02:01:56.270
my nose, I got a little stuff. You see, I
3184
02:01:56.289 --> 02:01:57.050
want to.
3185
02:01:57.729 --> 02:01:58.010
Tip my nose.
3186
02:01:58.029 --> 02:01:58.970
It's just a lot.
3187
02:01:58.989 --> 02:02:01.569
You've done a lot. You've done a lot to your face.
3188
02:02:01.590 --> 02:02:02.930
Yeah, yeah. It was so fun.
3189
02:02:03.109 --> 02:02:05.310
I need you to be careful. And I think that
3190
02:02:05.829 --> 02:02:09.810
this new thing is your new cutting hair anxiety thing.
3191
02:02:09.829 --> 02:02:12.800
No, not yet. I'll admit to it when that happens.
3192
02:02:12.880 --> 02:02:14.699
I don't think you know it until a little later.
3193
02:02:14.859 --> 02:02:18.920
No. Cutting my hair as an anxiety release is like
3194
02:02:19.239 --> 02:02:24.500
I kind of can't pass a mirror without seeing something. Right?
3195
02:02:24.560 --> 02:02:29.420
That's that. pattern yeah this is like i was accumulating
3196
02:02:29.460 --> 02:02:32.779
making mental notes for two months since i haven't been
3197
02:02:32.840 --> 02:02:37.159
by my east coast high fricator 2000 yeah and so
3198
02:02:37.239 --> 02:02:40.159
now i finally have gotten one on the west coast
3199
02:02:40.340 --> 02:02:41.920
and it was sitting on my desk for a week
3200
02:02:41.979 --> 02:02:44.010
and all last week i wanted to use it so
3201
02:02:44.050 --> 02:02:47.510
bad but we were too busy so saturday came around
3202
02:02:47.529 --> 02:02:49.489
i was like oh finally time for me and my
3203
02:02:49.529 --> 02:02:52.439
high fricator 2000 And so I set it up on
3204
02:02:52.460 --> 02:02:54.579
my desk. This one's even nicer. This one seems to
3205
02:02:54.619 --> 02:02:56.880
have not been
refurbished. I think it's brand new. And
3206
02:02:56.920 --> 02:02:59.000
it came with tons of attachments. What's the other one?
3207
02:02:59.020 --> 02:03:02.640
Didn't it? This one's gorgeous. Okay. So I fire it
3208
02:03:02.840 --> 02:03:05.239
up and I get to zap in and it's all,
3209
02:03:05.539 --> 02:03:08.399
I've already clocked them all. Like I'll just start digging
3210
02:03:08.420 --> 02:03:11.699
around my hair to find shit. This is, I already
3211
02:03:11.729 --> 02:03:14.229
had a laundry list of things that needed zapping. This
3212
02:03:14.270 --> 02:03:16.409
was always coming. This is like two months out.
3213
02:03:17.250 --> 02:03:23.390
And so listen, When I saw you today, when you
3214
02:03:23.409 --> 02:03:26.890
first walked up, I was like, what has he done?
3215
02:03:26.930 --> 02:03:27.189
Yeah.
3216
02:03:27.550 --> 02:03:28.770
What is he doing?
3217
02:03:28.869 --> 02:03:29.229
Yeah.
3218
02:03:29.449 --> 02:03:33.600
It's great. In like three days, I'll have no hyperplasia
3219
02:03:33.680 --> 02:03:39.060
anymore on my face. What even is hyperplasia? The next time, doodads,
3220
02:03:39.100 --> 02:03:40.560
like skin rolls.
3221
02:03:40.659 --> 02:03:44.060
I've never, I have never noticed any of that on
3222
02:03:44.100 --> 02:03:44.460
your face.
3223
02:03:44.500 --> 02:03:47.090
You're not taking your face. Index finger and rubbing it
3224
02:03:47.170 --> 02:03:50.050
across my forehead and scanning for bumps.
3225
02:03:50.189 --> 02:03:51.850
I know, but you don't have any.
3226
02:03:52.029 --> 02:03:54.210
Well, now I don't because I just zapped them on
3227
02:03:54.229 --> 02:03:59.529
Kingdom Come on Saturday. I got a whopper under my arm.
3228
02:03:59.789 --> 02:04:02.439
That one had been driving me insane for two months.
3229
02:04:02.449 --> 02:04:02.949
I'm like, fuck.
3230
02:04:03.100 --> 02:04:03.729
Was it raised?
3231
02:04:03.760 --> 02:04:04.939
It was a proper skin tag.
3232
02:04:05.180 --> 02:04:05.439
Okay.
3233
02:04:05.800 --> 02:04:10.600
That. I, okay, sure. Like, but whatever's happening on your face,
3234
02:04:10.960 --> 02:04:14.659
no one notices. And yet here you are making like,
3235
02:04:15.270 --> 02:04:17.050
you're so scabbed up.
3236
02:04:17.090 --> 02:04:18.539
Yeah, I love it. I don't mind it at all.
3237
02:04:18.550 --> 02:04:21.029
And I then imagined in the middle of the interview,
3238
02:04:21.069 --> 02:04:24.149
I zoned out at one point and I imagined like,
3239
02:04:25.310 --> 02:04:27.189
Every day you come in and like.
3240
02:04:27.550 --> 02:04:29.310
Yeah, I'm just, my whole face is a scab.
3241
02:04:29.449 --> 02:04:32.569
It's an SNL sketch. But every day it's worse and worse.
3242
02:04:32.609 --> 02:04:33.369
Progressively.
3243
02:04:33.390 --> 02:04:33.510
Yeah.
3244
02:04:33.609 --> 02:04:35.529
I'm losing more and more sight of it.
3245
02:04:35.609 --> 02:04:36.270
Exactly.
3246
02:04:36.369 --> 02:04:40.029
I wish to God, I wanted the interview subject to
3247
02:04:40.069 --> 02:04:40.689
bring it up.
3248
02:04:40.829 --> 02:04:41.430
He would never.
3249
02:04:41.449 --> 02:04:43.010
Because I was going to tell him it was from
3250
02:04:43.069 --> 02:04:45.789
a metal grinder. And then I wanted just, I just
3251
02:04:45.829 --> 02:04:48.810
wanted to give the armchairs a fun secret that they would,
3252
02:04:48.840 --> 02:04:51.399
they would go bullshit. He was zapping his face. That
3253
02:04:51.449 --> 02:04:54.699
is not from grinding metal. But the grinding metal would
3254
02:04:54.720 --> 02:04:56.340
be a— you would totally buy that because, you know, it's
3255
02:04:56.359 --> 02:05:00.039
just showering sparks. I have burnt myself using the metal grinder.
3256
02:05:00.619 --> 02:05:03.380
It's just showering sparks, so they could have landed and
3257
02:05:03.439 --> 02:05:03.819
zapped me.
3258
02:05:03.840 --> 02:05:07.600
Yeah, you could also maybe say, like, oil splatter from cooking.
3259
02:05:08.079 --> 02:05:08.619
Yeah.
3260
02:05:09.399 --> 02:05:12.699
You won't, but— Not macho enough. I need metal grinder.
3261
02:05:12.949 --> 02:05:14.029
Yeah, it's not macho enough.
3262
02:05:14.069 --> 02:05:15.710
Instead of what it is— I'm in there, yeah, with
3263
02:05:16.130 --> 02:05:19.609
vanity central with six mirrors and all this lighting. I
3264
02:05:19.689 --> 02:05:22.170
am using, like, shop lighting. I have this, like, really
3265
02:05:22.270 --> 02:05:25.250
powerful— rods that you put under the car to be
3266
02:05:25.270 --> 02:05:27.869
able to see under there. So my desk is like,
3267
02:05:27.890 --> 02:05:30.069
it's a mix between, is he building an engine or
3268
02:05:30.149 --> 02:05:31.880
is he zapping his face? Wow.
3269
02:05:32.279 --> 02:05:33.300
Well, my goodness.
3270
02:05:33.319 --> 02:05:35.180
Thanks for noticing. I would have forgot to bring it up.
3271
02:05:35.239 --> 02:05:37.140
And I'm happy to talk about it. I'm not embarrassed.
3272
02:05:37.239 --> 02:05:37.619
Good.
3273
02:05:38.340 --> 02:05:41.500
I mean. I don't want you to be embarrassed ever,
3274
02:05:41.659 --> 02:05:43.960
but I do want you to be a little careful
3275
02:05:44.000 --> 02:05:45.119
with your face, okay?
3276
02:05:45.260 --> 02:05:45.880
I'm being very careful.
3277
02:05:45.899 --> 02:05:48.659
You have a nice face. You can just let it be.
3278
02:05:49.159 --> 02:05:51.869
Well, no, because the gross will take over. No, they won't.
3279
02:05:51.909 --> 02:05:53.810
You won't be saying that. Yeah, they get bigger and bigger.
3280
02:05:53.890 --> 02:05:56.090
Okay. Some facts.
3281
02:05:56.170 --> 02:05:57.609
Yes. Ash facts.
3282
02:05:57.970 --> 02:05:58.250
Okay.
3283
02:05:58.409 --> 02:06:00.289
First things first. I.
3284
02:06:00.310 --> 02:06:02.289
I have a text you got to tell me about.
3285
02:06:02.609 --> 02:06:07.340
I asked Phineas and Claudia... I said, hi, I'm doing
3286
02:06:07.380 --> 02:06:09.619
a
fact check for Ash, and Dak says he was
3287
02:06:09.659 --> 02:06:12.260
the oldest non-family member at your wedding. Can you deny
3288
02:06:12.340 --> 02:06:14.479
or confirm, please? Phineas.
3289
02:06:14.850 --> 02:06:15.310
False!
3290
02:06:16.510 --> 02:06:17.430
Exclamation point.
3291
02:06:17.449 --> 02:06:17.949
False.
3292
02:06:19.170 --> 02:06:20.670
And then- Who was older?
3293
02:06:21.050 --> 02:06:23.569
Zane Lowe! Exclamation point.
3294
02:06:23.630 --> 02:06:27.199
How old is Zane? 53. 53.
3295
02:06:27.199 --> 02:06:28.680
All right. All right.
3296
02:06:28.819 --> 02:06:30.659
And then I said, thank you. I will be setting
3297
02:06:30.680 --> 02:06:35.170
the record straight. He came back actually also a guy
3298
02:06:35.210 --> 02:06:37.649
named Paul who is 70. And then I said, great.
3299
02:06:37.729 --> 02:06:39.289
This feels like waterproof evidence.
3300
02:06:40.170 --> 02:06:43.789
Waterproof evidence. Is that an expression?
3301
02:06:44.529 --> 02:06:48.250
Then he said, only guy with no shirt to be clear.
3302
02:06:49.329 --> 02:06:49.689
Okay.
3303
02:06:49.750 --> 02:06:52.300
So that's really the only thing I can say that
3304
02:06:52.380 --> 02:06:52.939
is unique.
3305
02:06:53.039 --> 02:06:55.579
Yeah. Okay.
3306
02:06:55.819 --> 02:06:58.180
Also, though, she made a point because she brought up
3307
02:06:58.239 --> 02:07:01.079
being at a table by Jason Sudeikis. Yeah, yeah. And
3308
02:07:01.100 --> 02:07:03.060
then she started to say, how old is he? But
3309
02:07:03.739 --> 02:07:04.510
we moved on.
3310
02:07:04.529 --> 02:07:04.609
Yeah.
3311
02:07:05.350 --> 02:07:07.250
He's 51. He's your age.
3312
02:07:07.630 --> 02:07:08.710
When's his birthday?
3313
02:07:08.970 --> 02:07:12.529
His birthday is on September 18th.
3314
02:07:12.609 --> 02:07:16.220
Yeah, so I'm much older than him.
3315
02:07:16.239 --> 02:07:17.159
I'm not playing.
3316
02:07:17.380 --> 02:07:20.779
Over nine months. Okay. We're rounding up over a year older.
3317
02:07:20.800 --> 02:07:21.579
We're not rounding up.
3318
02:07:23.180 --> 02:07:27.359
Don't need to. Nine months is an eternity. Hopefully you're
3319
02:07:27.399 --> 02:07:29.970
going to explode.
3320
02:07:30.189 --> 02:07:34.170
Is high cotton a bad phrase? The phrase in high
3321
02:07:34.229 --> 02:07:37.649
cotton or tall cotton is not. Oh, I said is
3322
02:07:37.689 --> 02:07:40.409
high cotton. It filled in a racist term.
3323
02:07:40.649 --> 02:07:41.170
So I let it.
3324
02:07:42.050 --> 02:07:42.590
Run with that.
3325
02:07:42.829 --> 02:07:42.989
Yeah.
3326
02:07:43.270 --> 02:07:45.409
The phrase in high cotton or tall cotton is not
3327
02:07:45.470 --> 02:07:49.520
inherently racist as it originates from rural southern agricultural life
3328
02:07:49.560 --> 02:07:53.500
to describe a successful harvest and financial prosperity. Obviously, that's
3329
02:07:53.539 --> 02:07:55.350
what that's what you said. That's what it means.
3330
02:07:55.909 --> 02:07:58.130
It's you don't love it.
3331
02:07:58.409 --> 02:08:02.920
You know. Oh, Ash said birth control pills. She was like,
3332
02:08:02.960 --> 02:08:06.079
which we now know are bad for you. Not necessarily
3333
02:08:06.180 --> 02:08:06.720
true at all.
3334
02:08:07.020 --> 02:08:07.220
No.
3335
02:08:07.680 --> 02:08:11.739
So, I did DM Dr. Mary Claire Haver.
3336
02:08:11.760 --> 02:08:13.159
Yeah, great.
3337
02:08:13.380 --> 02:08:14.180
She didn't respond.
3338
02:08:14.279 --> 02:08:14.979
No, yeah.
3339
02:08:15.060 --> 02:08:15.520
In time.
3340
02:08:15.699 --> 02:08:15.979
Yeah.
3341
02:08:16.220 --> 02:08:17.180
So, um.
3342
02:08:17.750 --> 02:08:19.289
I think she's a very busy woman. I think a
3343
02:08:19.350 --> 02:08:22.510
lot of people— because I know Kristen's got an unanswered DM, too.
3344
02:08:22.630 --> 02:08:23.380
She is very busy.
3345
02:08:23.560 --> 02:08:26.020
Yeah, so maybe on a fact check in 2027. Yeah,
3346
02:08:26.060 --> 02:08:26.579
we'll find out.
3347
02:08:26.640 --> 02:08:29.619
But I just went to overall Google, you know. Birth
3348
02:08:29.659 --> 02:08:32.100
control pills are generally safe and effective for most people,
3349
02:08:32.140 --> 02:08:34.270
but they do carry potential side effects and rare risks
3350
02:08:34.289 --> 02:08:38.489
depending on individual health factors. But, like, it's not like.
3351
02:08:38.449 --> 02:08:41.640
An overall— Is that?
3352
02:08:41.699 --> 02:08:44.079
Or was she talking about having kids? I think she
3353
02:08:44.100 --> 02:08:46.460
was kind of referencing, because she said, I've been on
3354
02:08:46.479 --> 02:08:48.600
it for 10 years, and she was talking about the
3355
02:08:48.659 --> 02:08:50.560
kids thing. That's what it led to.
3356
02:08:50.619 --> 02:08:52.729
Okay. I filled in the blank. I thought she was talking.
3357
02:08:52.770 --> 02:08:55.149
The thing I always hear people panicked about is the strokes.
3358
02:08:55.170 --> 02:08:57.550
That used to be a very common fear, but I
3359
02:08:57.590 --> 02:09:00.229
haven't heard about that in a while. But it actually
3360
02:09:00.250 --> 02:09:02.850
can have some health benefits. It can lower cancer risk.
3361
02:09:03.430 --> 02:09:07.470
Symptom relief, obviously, but birth control can help with cramps
3362
02:09:07.649 --> 02:09:09.010
and heavy bleeding.
3363
02:09:09.350 --> 02:09:10.399
Skin benefits for some.
3364
02:09:10.409 --> 02:09:11.489
Yep, exactly.
3365
02:09:11.939 --> 02:09:14.359
Criticism of body keeps the score.
3366
02:09:14.760 --> 02:09:16.579
I think there's a school of thought that is if
3367
02:09:16.600 --> 02:09:19.600
you're suggesting this is trapped in your body and you
3368
02:09:19.640 --> 02:09:22.960
need to excavate it, that the excavation for people could
3369
02:09:23.000 --> 02:09:26.119
be more damaging than not doing the excavation. I think that's,
3370
02:09:27.439 --> 02:09:29.800
if I understand the pushback correctly, I think that's part
3371
02:09:29.819 --> 02:09:32.229
of what it is. Now, look, as I've said, I
3372
02:09:32.310 --> 02:09:34.210
love Body Keeps the Score. I think it's a great book.
3373
02:09:34.409 --> 02:09:38.449
And again, what's probably true is that it's very accurate
3374
02:09:38.489 --> 02:09:41.409
for certain people who have had really intense trauma. And
3375
02:09:41.449 --> 02:09:45.310
then there's probably other people who don't need to excavate,
3376
02:09:45.430 --> 02:09:47.470
who excavating is not a good idea. You know, I
3377
02:09:47.489 --> 02:09:50.369
don't know. But it's such a range of people with
3378
02:09:50.930 --> 02:09:54.689
a range of conditions that to say one approach is
3379
02:09:54.710 --> 02:09:56.529
going to work for everyone. Naturally, you're going to be
3380
02:09:56.550 --> 02:09:58.210
able to find a subset that that's not the right
3381
02:09:58.250 --> 02:09:58.810
thing to do with.
3382
02:09:59.510 --> 02:10:01.529
Yeah, it says critics and journalists point out that the
3383
02:10:01.569 --> 02:10:05.510
book can over-medicalize distress, inflate the definition of trauma, and
3384
02:10:05.550 --> 02:10:09.689
ignore broader social, political, and structural forces behind violence. Some
3385
02:10:09.750 --> 02:10:12.850
science writers also argue it misinterprets certain data or presents
3386
02:10:12.890 --> 02:10:14.510
an overly bleak view of recovery.
3387
02:10:15.609 --> 02:10:16.050
Interesting.
3388
02:10:16.069 --> 02:10:16.649
Yeah.
3389
02:10:16.869 --> 02:10:19.130
That might be it.
3390
02:10:19.770 --> 02:10:20.010
Yeah.
3391
02:10:20.489 --> 02:10:22.449
That's it.
3392
02:10:22.590 --> 02:10:22.770
Okay.
3393
02:10:23.029 --> 02:10:23.590
That's his all.
3394
02:10:23.609 --> 02:10:24.029
Love you.
3395
02:10:24.090 --> 02:10:24.409
Love you.
3396
02:10:33.020 --> 02:10:33.279
Thank you.