अनुलिपि 🔗
WEBVTT
1
00:00:01.800 --> 00:00:05.200
Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like,
2
00:00:05.679 --> 00:00:08.039
but I was just thinking about you for a minute.
3
00:00:08.779 --> 00:00:10.880
And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself
4
00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:14.560
because you deserve it. And yeah, I'll talk to you soon.
5
00:00:24.890 --> 00:00:27.809
Some feelings are too big, too messy, too complicated to
6
00:00:27.850 --> 00:00:29.429
fit in a text. I know you know what I'm
7
00:00:29.449 --> 00:00:32.719
talking about. So you stop typing, hit record, and just talk.
8
00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:36.359
That's what you sent me, and I'm grateful for it. Today,
9
00:00:36.520 --> 00:00:40.500
we're opening up a conversation about purpose. We often treat
10
00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:43.179
purpose like a finish line. We think if we just
11
00:00:43.259 --> 00:00:46.899
reach that big goal, get that promotion, or finally find
12
00:00:46.939 --> 00:00:50.100
that one thing that makes everything click, we'll be satisfied.
13
00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:53.119
But purpose is not a trophy you collect at the
14
00:00:53.140 --> 00:00:55.560
end of a race. It is the fuel you use
15
00:00:55.899 --> 00:00:58.799
while you are running. Whether you're feeling stuck in the middle,
16
00:00:59.060 --> 00:01:02.179
burnt out by your own success, or searching for meaning
17
00:01:02.460 --> 00:01:06.000
that lasts longer than a single achievement, you are not lost.
18
00:01:06.540 --> 00:01:09.170
You're just learning how to build a mission that matters
19
00:01:09.250 --> 00:01:12.719
more than a milestone. What you're about to hear are
20
00:01:12.799 --> 00:01:16.640
real stories from real people who are part of this community.
21
00:01:17.180 --> 00:01:18.599
Maybe you could be one of them in the future.
22
00:01:18.620 --> 00:01:19.980
I can't wait to dive in.
23
00:01:24.209 --> 00:01:27.709
I'm in my mid-40s, and within a pretty short period
24
00:01:27.730 --> 00:01:30.290
of time, I faced breast cancer at the end of
25
00:01:30.329 --> 00:01:33.930
a long marriage, and also a realization that the career
26
00:01:34.069 --> 00:01:36.739
path that I worked so hard to build no longer
27
00:01:37.400 --> 00:01:39.980
suits me or feels like what I want. For most
28
00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:42.780
of my life, I've been the reliable one for everyone
29
00:01:42.819 --> 00:01:46.489
else at work and personally, and appear pretty capable of
30
00:01:46.730 --> 00:01:50.430
performing even when I was feeling completely depleted. Those traits
31
00:01:50.489 --> 00:01:54.579
that helped me succeed, I became really good at meeting expectations,
32
00:01:54.719 --> 00:01:58.079
keeping everything together. But in that process, I lost touch
33
00:01:58.180 --> 00:02:00.819
with what I really wanted for myself. I kind of
34
00:02:00.980 --> 00:02:03.969
examined my life and where I want to go. while
35
00:02:04.030 --> 00:02:07.469
recovering physically and emotionally. Sometimes I struggle to know whether
36
00:02:07.530 --> 00:02:09.949
the pull is genuine inner guidance or if it's simply
37
00:02:10.009 --> 00:02:13.750
another attempt to prove myself. So my question is, how
38
00:02:13.780 --> 00:02:16.599
do you tell the difference between your authentic inner voice
39
00:02:17.219 --> 00:02:19.800
and the survival patterns that you've been guiding your decisions
40
00:02:19.979 --> 00:02:20.580
for years?
41
00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:25.560
Well, thank you for that question. I want to start
42
00:02:25.939 --> 00:02:30.250
by just acknowledging the courage it takes to even ask
43
00:02:30.270 --> 00:02:34.229
this question. I find many people survive what you've survived,
44
00:02:35.069 --> 00:02:37.830
but they never stop to ask whether the life they're
45
00:02:37.870 --> 00:02:40.659
returning to is actually the one they want. And that's
46
00:02:40.740 --> 00:02:44.280
fine because sometimes the pain can be so overbearing, but
47
00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:48.120
you're doing something really hard. You're examining not just what
48
00:02:48.159 --> 00:02:52.099
happened to you, but who you've become because of it. Now,
49
00:02:52.120 --> 00:02:55.000
there was something you said that really stood out to me.
50
00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:59.580
You said, what I called strength was actually adaptation. And
51
00:02:59.659 --> 00:03:05.340
that's an incredibly profound reflection. Adaptation can keep us alive
52
00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:09.259
through difficult seasons. But the strategies that help us survive
53
00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:12.520
aren't always the ones that help us truly live, right?
54
00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:15.740
You can develop a tool or a habit because it
55
00:03:15.979 --> 00:03:18.500
helps you get to the top of the mountain. But
56
00:03:18.539 --> 00:03:21.599
that doesn't mean that same tool or habit will help
57
00:03:21.659 --> 00:03:23.759
you get to the core and the depths of yourself.
58
00:03:24.500 --> 00:03:26.770
And so I want you to think a bit broader
59
00:03:26.810 --> 00:03:29.229
about this. And this applies to everyone who's ever been
60
00:03:29.270 --> 00:03:32.370
in this position of finding, is this their authentic path?
61
00:03:32.590 --> 00:03:35.680
Is this their passion? Is this their purpose? The question
62
00:03:35.719 --> 00:03:39.150
isn't whether writing or speaking or coaching are the right
63
00:03:39.189 --> 00:03:43.569
path for you. The deeper question is, who is making
64
00:03:43.629 --> 00:03:46.289
the decision? Is it the part of you that believes
65
00:03:46.310 --> 00:03:50.430
your worth comes from being useful and productive? Or is
66
00:03:50.469 --> 00:03:53.250
it the part of you that feels most alive when
67
00:03:53.270 --> 00:03:58.810
you're helping people from a place of wholeness rather than expectation?
68
00:03:59.830 --> 00:04:01.389
I want to draw a bit of a difference for
69
00:04:01.430 --> 00:04:04.750
you
Load full transcript
between what survival patterns look like and what your
70
00:04:04.789 --> 00:04:08.699
authentic voice looks like. I found that survival patterns usually
71
00:04:08.740 --> 00:04:11.539
are a bit urgent. They're full of pressure. They're like,
72
00:04:11.860 --> 00:04:12.699
figure it out now.
73
00:04:13.300 --> 00:04:13.860
Do more.
74
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:18.019
Become more valuable. Don't fall behind. Keep proving yourself. You've
75
00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:21.910
got more to show. And your authentic voice is often
76
00:04:21.930 --> 00:04:26.029
a little gentler. It's a little more quiet. It doesn't
77
00:04:26.230 --> 00:04:29.800
demand that you earn your worth. It's more of like
78
00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:34.339
an invite into, hey, I think this might be right
79
00:04:34.360 --> 00:04:37.180
for you. It's like a little nudge, like a gentle friend.
80
00:04:37.959 --> 00:04:39.980
And so the question I want you to ask yourself is,
81
00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:45.740
if no one ever praised me, paid me, or recognized
82
00:04:45.779 --> 00:04:48.680
me for this, would I still feel drawn to it?
83
00:04:49.339 --> 00:04:51.480
I remember in my own life when I was wondering
84
00:04:51.540 --> 00:04:54.500
what I wanted to do, I was doing this in
85
00:04:54.579 --> 00:04:57.579
rooms of three to five people. I would spend three
86
00:04:57.620 --> 00:05:00.899
hours a night, sometimes three nights a week, just helping people.
87
00:05:00.939 --> 00:05:02.370
I didn't get paid for it. I didn't get praised
88
00:05:02.410 --> 00:05:04.730
for it. Didn't have any followers, but it was beautiful.
89
00:05:04.790 --> 00:05:07.350
I loved it. And so I carried on doing it.
90
00:05:08.009 --> 00:05:09.750
So if for you, the answer is yes, I'd do
91
00:05:09.769 --> 00:05:13.009
this if I didn't get paid, praised or recognized, you're
92
00:05:13.050 --> 00:05:18.040
probably getting closer to something genuine. Another clue is what
93
00:05:18.100 --> 00:05:21.920
happens when you're preparing to do the work and after
94
00:05:21.939 --> 00:05:25.500
you do it. survival leaves you feeling like you have
95
00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:28.620
to keep running just to stay relevant, just to stay enough.
96
00:05:29.459 --> 00:05:33.139
Authentic work, it can still be difficult and challenging, but
97
00:05:33.339 --> 00:05:36.180
underneath the effort, there's a sense of peace, alignment. So
98
00:05:36.220 --> 00:05:39.300
you really have to observe yourself in the moment. I
99
00:05:39.339 --> 00:05:41.639
kind of think about it like when you go to
100
00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:44.620
a restaurant, When you walk out, you know whether you
101
00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:46.860
like the ambience of the restaurant. You know whether you
102
00:05:46.899 --> 00:05:49.129
like the service or the food because you check in
103
00:05:49.149 --> 00:05:52.189
with yourself. So sometimes you have to do the act,
104
00:05:52.470 --> 00:05:54.240
not just think about it. You actually have to do it.
105
00:05:54.550 --> 00:05:57.430
Maybe you try some coaching, try some writing, and then
106
00:05:57.449 --> 00:05:59.449
you check in with yourself and ask, how did this feel?
107
00:05:59.870 --> 00:06:02.269
Did it feel authentic and real? Or did it just
108
00:06:02.310 --> 00:06:05.540
feel hard? Did it just feel fake or put on?
109
00:06:06.379 --> 00:06:08.220
And I want to share one more thing. You don't
110
00:06:08.360 --> 00:06:13.420
have to solve your identity in your head. Clarity doesn't
111
00:06:13.480 --> 00:06:18.319
come from thinking, it comes from living. So write before
112
00:06:18.339 --> 00:06:21.620
you become a writer. Coach before you become a coach.
113
00:06:22.100 --> 00:06:26.120
Speak before you become a speaker. Let the experience teach
114
00:06:26.139 --> 00:06:31.129
you what thinking can never do. Arthur Brooks' success trap
115
00:06:31.310 --> 00:06:34.910
is the exact mechanism you're naming. The reflex to reach
116
00:06:34.949 --> 00:06:38.189
for the next achievement as a way to feel like enough,
117
00:06:38.689 --> 00:06:42.120
mistaken for a calling. In his best-selling book, From Strength
118
00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:45.730
to Strength, Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the
119
00:06:45.829 --> 00:06:48.949
Second Half of Life, Arthur Brooks talks about how chasing
120
00:06:49.029 --> 00:06:54.040
external rewards raises your wants faster than your achievements, leaving
121
00:06:54.069 --> 00:06:57.720
you perpetually unsatisfied. And so I don't think you sound
122
00:06:57.759 --> 00:06:59.860
like that at all. I think you're somebody who wants
123
00:06:59.899 --> 00:07:02.480
to work from a place of purpose and fulfillment, but
124
00:07:02.579 --> 00:07:05.279
that's the way to know. Are you simply chasing a
125
00:07:05.759 --> 00:07:07.589
version of how you want people to see you? Or
126
00:07:08.250 --> 00:07:11.329
are you pursuing how you want to see yourself? This
127
00:07:11.410 --> 00:07:14.110
episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda.
128
00:07:14.790 --> 00:07:18.009
Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance. It's created through
129
00:07:18.029 --> 00:07:21.350
the habits we build before we ever need them. That's
130
00:07:21.389 --> 00:07:25.519
the philosophy behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features that
131
00:07:25.560 --> 00:07:28.639
help keep you more aware, more connected and more engaged,
132
00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:31.920
Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings.
133
00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:35.839
It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new
134
00:07:35.879 --> 00:07:39.850
car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won
135
00:07:39.970 --> 00:07:45.470
more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any
136
00:07:45.509 --> 00:07:51.790
other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot
137
00:07:51.810 --> 00:07:56.399
can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit mazdausa.com to
learn more.
138
00:07:56.899 --> 00:07:59.600
Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services.
139
00:08:03.980 --> 00:08:08.139
Hi, I recently left my corporate career to put focus
140
00:08:08.250 --> 00:08:11.209
on my mental health. I've been a creative director working
141
00:08:11.269 --> 00:08:14.470
in corporate marketing for over 10 years, and I started
142
00:08:14.509 --> 00:08:20.990
feeling like I really lost my personal and unique creative perspective.
143
00:08:21.009 --> 00:08:24.779
And so I left my job. When I did that,
144
00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:28.139
I decided that I should give myself six months of
145
00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:32.730
working on a passion project. And so I started a podcast.
146
00:08:33.149 --> 00:08:36.789
It's been really, really fulfilling. It has allowed me to
147
00:08:36.909 --> 00:08:40.179
express my creativity in the way that I want to.
148
00:08:40.620 --> 00:08:43.759
But I am approaching that six-month mark pretty soon. And
149
00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:47.940
I know that things take time. And the podcast has
150
00:08:48.419 --> 00:08:51.659
developed this, like, small, very loyal fan base that seems
151
00:08:51.700 --> 00:08:54.879
to be growing. But I have also never had this
152
00:08:54.940 --> 00:08:59.029
level of financial instability before. for. I'm wrestling with looking
153
00:08:59.090 --> 00:09:01.450
for a corporate job and just like diving back into
154
00:09:01.470 --> 00:09:04.730
that world, letting the podcast be a beautiful way for
155
00:09:04.750 --> 00:09:08.190
me to find my creative voice again. So my question is,
156
00:09:08.529 --> 00:09:10.870
what are the things that I need to ask myself
157
00:09:11.049 --> 00:09:12.649
in order to make the right move here?
158
00:09:13.950 --> 00:09:17.669
Thank you so much for that question. I can relate
159
00:09:17.690 --> 00:09:19.309
to so much of what you said, so I'll be
160
00:09:19.350 --> 00:09:22.490
sharing some of my personal reflections as well. But I
161
00:09:23.210 --> 00:09:26.750
want to start by saying, Well done for having the
162
00:09:27.620 --> 00:09:30.809
foresight and the vision to pull away from your work
163
00:09:31.629 --> 00:09:34.649
Because when you've been doing something for 10 years, it's really,
164
00:09:34.690 --> 00:09:36.889
really hard to step away. And so the fact that
165
00:09:36.929 --> 00:09:39.029
you had the courage to actually say, I want to
166
00:09:39.070 --> 00:09:42.200
protect my mental health, I want to pursue creative things,
167
00:09:42.259 --> 00:09:45.519
I want to follow my instinct and my intuition is
168
00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:49.659
an incredible step forward. It isn't a step behind. So
169
00:09:49.919 --> 00:09:52.379
well done for taking that step, truly. I see so
170
00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:56.649
many people who keep pushing themselves, maybe reach burnout or
171
00:09:56.690 --> 00:10:00.340
close enough and only take time when they break. to
172
00:10:00.379 --> 00:10:05.840
do it proactively is a phenomenal step in self-awareness and
173
00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:09.330
moving forward. Now, what I'll say to you is you
174
00:10:09.379 --> 00:10:12.649
initially did this knowing you wanted six months out. And
175
00:10:12.690 --> 00:10:16.269
what's beautiful is that it sounds like it's been beneficial.
176
00:10:17.110 --> 00:10:19.809
I feel like you sound like you feel good about
177
00:10:19.850 --> 00:10:22.950
this decision. You also have discovered the podcast, which I'm
178
00:10:22.990 --> 00:10:25.789
so happy you're building a small, loyal following. It means
179
00:10:25.809 --> 00:10:28.149
you're really having an impact on people. And I'm so
180
00:10:28.220 --> 00:10:30.480
glad that you're getting to see the value you have
181
00:10:30.820 --> 00:10:34.399
to bring others as well. And the questions I'd be
182
00:10:34.500 --> 00:10:38.059
asking are actually not so much about, do you go
183
00:10:38.100 --> 00:10:40.330
back into your job? Do you work on the podcast?
184
00:10:40.610 --> 00:10:43.169
Do you have to choose either or? The question I'd
185
00:10:43.210 --> 00:10:46.730
actually be asking yourself is, how do I do both
186
00:10:47.570 --> 00:10:51.639
in a way that allows me to feel good about
187
00:10:51.700 --> 00:10:54.460
myself and what I'm doing? How do I allow myself
188
00:10:54.500 --> 00:11:00.960
to not experience financial instability, but also not experience creative breakdown?
189
00:11:01.779 --> 00:11:05.350
Right before this moment, you had financial stability, but you
190
00:11:05.370 --> 00:11:07.909
didn't have a creative outlet. You didn't have that sense
191
00:11:07.950 --> 00:11:10.690
of balance and calm that I assume you're experiencing right now.
192
00:11:11.220 --> 00:11:12.720
And what you don't want now is that you have
193
00:11:12.759 --> 00:11:15.139
the calm, you have the outlet, but you don't have
194
00:11:15.179 --> 00:11:17.759
the financial stability. We want to live in a world
195
00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:20.639
where these two can coexist because both of them have
196
00:11:20.679 --> 00:11:23.279
an impact on your mental health. Right. I think often
197
00:11:23.320 --> 00:11:25.159
we live in a time right now that says work's
198
00:11:25.200 --> 00:11:27.639
really stressful and I just need a break for my
199
00:11:27.679 --> 00:11:32.490
mental health. Not realizing that not having work, the financial stability,
200
00:11:32.549 --> 00:11:35.970
the routine, the rhythm, the colleagues, some sort of pattern
201
00:11:36.250 --> 00:11:39.190
that can also be hard for our mental health. And
202
00:11:39.269 --> 00:11:40.730
so what we have to look at it and say
203
00:11:40.809 --> 00:11:43.490
is what type of work, how many hours could you
204
00:11:43.529 --> 00:11:45.600
work a week? What type of colleagues do you need
205
00:11:45.620 --> 00:11:48.840
to be around? What type of workplace environment do you
206
00:11:48.899 --> 00:11:52.110
want to function in in order to not feel that
207
00:11:52.139 --> 00:11:55.629
desire to run away, get away and escape? What does
208
00:11:55.669 --> 00:11:59.149
that look like? What are your new standards that you're
209
00:11:59.190 --> 00:12:01.750
going back to the world of work with where you
210
00:12:01.789 --> 00:12:05.009
won't settle for less, where you won't compromise on your needs?
211
00:12:05.850 --> 00:12:07.929
Those are the types of questions I'd be asking yourself.
212
00:12:08.429 --> 00:12:12.070
That job exists. That work exists. You being clear about
213
00:12:12.110 --> 00:12:15.620
that exists. And you knowing what you won't settle for
214
00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:19.460
is going to make all the difference. At the same time,
215
00:12:20.059 --> 00:12:22.779
you have to choose some work that doesn't stop you
216
00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:25.519
from doing this podcast. You found a sense of purpose.
217
00:12:25.539 --> 00:12:28.830
You found meaning. You found value and fulfillment in it.
218
00:12:29.389 --> 00:12:32.049
And you don't want to give it up. You've created
219
00:12:32.110 --> 00:12:35.210
patterns and rhythms and habits right now that seem like
220
00:12:35.230 --> 00:12:38.190
they're suiting you. How can you prioritize them in your
221
00:12:38.230 --> 00:12:41.789
life so that you don't forget to incorporate them when
222
00:12:41.820 --> 00:12:46.259
you go back into work? Don't make your purpose responsible
223
00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:50.759
for your paycheck. Don't put pressure on your passion to
224
00:12:50.799 --> 00:12:54.409
become your paycheck right now. It's okay to work a
225
00:12:54.450 --> 00:12:58.250
job that pays the bills. A job is what funds
226
00:12:58.289 --> 00:13:01.419
your life. It doesn't have to be the place where
227
00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:04.720
your soul does its best work. It can do good work,
228
00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:07.600
wonderful work, but it doesn't have to be the thing
229
00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:11.159
you dream of doing. I remember when I was in
230
00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:13.580
a similar position to you, where I was working a
231
00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:16.470
corporate job, and at the same time I was creating
232
00:13:16.490 --> 00:13:19.669
videos online. And at the same time I was coaching
233
00:13:19.730 --> 00:13:23.000
people offline, And at the same time, I was doing
234
00:13:23.039 --> 00:13:26.799
keynote speeches all on top of my work. And my
235
00:13:26.899 --> 00:13:31.450
work allowed me to explore all these other avenues. And
236
00:13:31.610 --> 00:13:35.850
I also brought my passions into work. I remember becoming
237
00:13:35.870 --> 00:13:39.200
a mental health ambassador at work. I remember teaching mindfulness
238
00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:43.269
and meditation at work, which made work more meaningful. Take
239
00:13:43.309 --> 00:13:46.350
your passion into the workplace. Find your purpose in the
240
00:13:46.409
--> 00:13:49.200
workplace as well. Take this mental health podcast and make
241
00:13:49.240 --> 00:13:51.759
it useful to wherever you go so that you get
242
00:13:51.799 --> 00:13:56.960
to integrate your life, not disconnect it. What's really fascinating
243
00:13:57.000 --> 00:13:59.350
to me is that if you try and make your
244
00:13:59.399 --> 00:14:03.539
podcast your paycheck right now, it can put so much
245
00:14:03.679 --> 00:14:07.279
pressure on the creativity. The thing that currently brings you
246
00:14:07.340 --> 00:14:10.360
so much joy can very quickly turn into a source
247
00:14:10.379 --> 00:14:13.000
of pain. I've seen this time and time and time again,
248
00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:15.950
that when someone quits their job, they're doing their passion
249
00:14:15.970 --> 00:14:18.230
that brings them joy, and all of a sudden, their
250
00:14:18.250 --> 00:14:20.730
passion isn't paying the bills, and now their passion becomes
251
00:14:20.769 --> 00:14:23.580
a pain. and a source of pressure. You want to
252
00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:26.320
allow it to continue to be a passion, continue to
253
00:14:26.379 --> 00:14:30.009
grow organically, continue to develop and keep building a beautiful
254
00:14:30.049 --> 00:14:32.350
fan base. And at the same time, have a source
255
00:14:32.389 --> 00:14:36.149
of income that doesn't cause you too much stress, that
256
00:14:36.210 --> 00:14:39.169
isn't causing you too much imbalance. Now, I know you're thinking, Jay,
257
00:14:39.190 --> 00:14:41.269
that sounds like a perfect scenario. Of course, I take that.
258
00:14:41.669 --> 00:14:43.509
And you're right. There is not going to be a
259
00:14:43.549 --> 00:14:45.590
job that gives you the perfect amount of stress and
260
00:14:45.929 --> 00:14:48.230
the passion that keeps being possible to do all the time.
261
00:14:48.289 --> 00:14:50.090
There's going to be a little bit of a give
262
00:14:50.110 --> 00:14:51.840
and take. There's going to be a little bit of
263
00:14:51.929 --> 00:14:54.669
a compromise. But what you want to do is go
264
00:14:54.769 --> 00:14:57.840
in with your eyes wide open. You want to go
265
00:14:57.860 --> 00:15:00.480
into a workplace and be really clear about the questions
266
00:15:00.500 --> 00:15:04.090
you ask. Be really confident about what you bring. And
267
00:15:04.129 --> 00:15:05.929
you want to go and continue to do your passion,
268
00:15:06.029 --> 00:15:08.799
recognizing that you get to do it with your full creativity.
269
00:15:09.539 --> 00:15:11.980
This isn't an either or issue. I think what the
270
00:15:12.080 --> 00:15:14.720
mind does is it creates tension by saying you have
271
00:15:14.740 --> 00:15:17.700
to do this or you have to do this. And
272
00:15:17.879 --> 00:15:20.840
in effect, what the healthiest answer is, is to find
273
00:15:20.860 --> 00:15:24.289
the middle path. the path that balances both, the path
274
00:15:24.350 --> 00:15:27.649
that allows both to coexist, the path that allows both
275
00:15:28.049 --> 00:15:30.509
to be important parts of your lives. So this is
276
00:15:30.570 --> 00:15:33.950
more of a syncing up issue than it is a
277
00:15:34.830 --> 00:15:37.330
either or issue. And don't let the mind trick you
278
00:15:37.350 --> 00:15:40.509
into believing there's one right path or wrong path or
279
00:15:40.529 --> 00:15:45.120
there's a straight trade. There is a way of creating
280
00:15:45.159 --> 00:15:49.990
a collaborative opportunity for being financially stable, and continuing to
281
00:15:50.009 --> 00:15:53.450
pursue your passion. Wishing you all the best. Move to
282
00:15:53.490 --> 00:15:56.230
this next chapter, not with fear that work will be
283
00:15:56.309 --> 00:15:59.759
overwhelming again. but that your standards have been raised so
284
00:15:59.779 --> 00:16:02.580
that you know what aligns with you. This episode is
285
00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:06.539
brought to you by Walden University. Balancing work, life, and
286
00:16:06.580 --> 00:16:11.000
big goals isn't easy. That's why Walden University helps working
287
00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:14.870
professionals get the W with tempo learning, so you can
288
00:16:14.929 --> 00:16:17.929
earn your degree at your own pace while gaining practical
289
00:16:17.990 --> 00:16:22.029
skills through real-life scenarios. You'll also learn from faculty with
290
00:16:22.120 --> 00:16:26.700
real-world experience and have support start to finish. Walden University,
291
00:16:27.159 --> 00:16:33.100
set a course for change. Ready to start? Visit waldenu.edu today.
292
00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:38.899
Certified to operate by Chev, Tempo Learning, available in select programs.
293
00:16:43.169 --> 00:16:45.990
Right now I'm in the middle of running a new
294
00:16:46.049 --> 00:16:48.710
business that opened up back in November. I will give
295
00:16:48.750 --> 00:16:51.049
a little bit of a backstory of myself. I am
296
00:16:51.129 --> 00:16:54.389
finishing my bachelor's degree right now. I also opened up
297
00:16:54.690 --> 00:16:58.809
a care business where it's in demand of services of
298
00:16:58.909 --> 00:17:03.580
pet sitting, babysitting, tutoring, and homesitting. I am now under
299
00:17:03.620 --> 00:17:06.880
the pressure of many things in terms of it's affecting
300
00:17:06.940 --> 00:17:10.319
my work life, my study life, my family life, and
301
00:17:10.359 --> 00:17:13.269
my relationship life. I have in my head that it's
302
00:17:13.309 --> 00:17:15.970
going to succeed. It's going to do great. Everything's going well.
303
00:17:16.349 --> 00:17:19.009
But I also feel the challenges and that burden on
304
00:17:19.029 --> 00:17:22.089
myself that if I do any wrong move that my
305
00:17:22.250 --> 00:17:25.450
relationship's going to fall apart or my family's going to
306
00:17:25.490 --> 00:17:27.150
be disappointed. I mean, I have in the back of
307
00:17:27.170 --> 00:17:29.730
my head right now that I
would like to close
308
00:17:29.750 --> 00:17:32.690
the business because I also want to focus on my career.
309
00:17:32.750 --> 00:17:35.470
But I'm also at the standstill of I need to
310
00:17:35.569 --> 00:17:39.930
move my apartment. I need to find my new career
311
00:17:39.970 --> 00:17:43.140
as soon as I get my degree. My question is,
312
00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:48.509
what is the right decision to make in terms of priorities?
313
00:17:48.589 --> 00:17:50.950
Because there, of course, are the five priorities in life.
314
00:17:51.809 --> 00:17:55.390
But what is the one that matters most? And how
315
00:17:55.569 --> 00:18:00.500
can one not feel overwhelmed and burdened by just little
316
00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:05.259
decisions in terms of work life, relationship life, and family life?
317
00:18:06.289 --> 00:18:09.329
I want to say that what you've built is something
318
00:18:09.369 --> 00:18:12.269
to be proud of. You're finishing a degree, you start
319
00:18:12.289 --> 00:18:14.230
a business, and you're trying to show up for the
320
00:18:14.269 --> 00:18:18.079
people you love. I mean, you're winning right now. That's unbelievable. Congrats.
321
00:18:18.099 --> 00:18:22.480
That's truly brilliant. And the fact that you feel overwhelmed
322
00:18:22.839 --> 00:18:25.660
doesn't mean you're failing. It just means you're doing a lot.
323
00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:28.559
You're carrying a lot, right? And the biggest advice I
324
00:18:28.579 --> 00:18:32.180
would give you is this. Don't make a permanent decision
325
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:37.960
while you're in a temporary state of exhaustion. Right now,
326
00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:40.319
it sounds like you're asking, like, do I keep the
327
00:18:40.359 --> 00:18:43.500
business or do I give it up? But the real
328
00:18:43.579 --> 00:18:48.319
question might actually be, what version can I sustain right
329
00:18:48.339 --> 00:18:51.869
now with everything I've got going on? And it's important
330
00:18:51.910 --> 00:18:54.130
to remember, of course, that a business is supposed to
331
00:18:54.190 --> 00:18:56.869
serve your life, not consume it, for sure. And you
332
00:18:56.910 --> 00:18:59.869
don't have to prove your worth by keeping something alive
333
00:19:00.269 --> 00:19:02.710
at the cost of your health, your relationships or your future.
334
00:19:03.390 --> 00:19:06.240
But you also don't have to abandon something you created
335
00:19:06.680 --> 00:19:09.859
just because this season feels difficult. And that's the important
336
00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:14.809
word there, season. There are seasons of life. Think about nature.
337
00:19:15.369 --> 00:19:17.950
You have spring, you have summer, you have autumn and
338
00:19:17.970 --> 00:19:22.440
you have winter. Nature is doing something entirely different in
339
00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:27.019
each season. Does it mean that it doesn't prioritize growth
340
00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:30.680
in winter when the trees are bare? Does it mean
341
00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:33.799
that it doesn't prioritize beauty in certain seasons because it's
342
00:19:33.819 --> 00:19:37.519
going through a state of regeneration? No, we recognize that
343
00:19:37.579 --> 00:19:40.420
nature needs to do different things at different times in
344
00:19:40.700 --> 00:19:44.930
order to stay in sync, to stay coordinated. And so
345
00:19:44.950 --> 00:19:47.230
there will be seasons in your life where you focus
346
00:19:47.269 --> 00:19:50.140
more on your business than everything else. And there will
347
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:52.059
be seasons in your life you focus more on your
348
00:19:52.099 --> 00:19:55.059
family than everything else. And there'll be seasons in your
349
00:19:55.099 --> 00:19:57.619
life that you focus more on your career than everything else.
350
00:19:58.200 --> 00:20:01.119
That's how life functions. And what you want to do,
351
00:20:01.769 --> 00:20:06.750
especially with your relationships, is communicate. What you said to me,
352
00:20:07.130 --> 00:20:09.359
if you could say to the people that you love, hey,
353
00:20:09.420 --> 00:20:11.700
I'm really struggling trying to figure out how to do this.
354
00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:13.769
I hope you know how much you mean to me.
355
00:20:14.269 --> 00:20:16.049
I hope you know how this is a temporary thing
356
00:20:16.089 --> 00:20:18.470
I'm working on. And once I've figured out my career,
357
00:20:18.490 --> 00:20:21.609
I'll be able to put my business aside. We don't
358
00:20:21.670 --> 00:20:25.130
ruin our relationships with the people we love because we're
359
00:20:25.190 --> 00:20:28.750
working too hard. We ruin them because we don't communicate
360
00:20:29.170 --> 00:20:32.079
about the work we're doing and we never stop to
361
00:20:32.190 --> 00:20:38.609
also prioritize them in different seasons. Trying to balance everyone
362
00:20:38.769 --> 00:20:43.049
and everything perfectly every day is a recipe for failure.
363
00:20:43.450 --> 00:20:50.029
Imagine nature said, today we're going to have lightning, rain, wind, sun, flowers,
364
00:20:50.549 --> 00:20:53.859
bear trees, leaves falling off like in fall. Imagine you
365
00:20:53.880 --> 00:20:58.579
try to do that all in 24 hours. I If
366
00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:01.259
nature tried to do that every day, it would be exhausting.
367
00:21:01.779 --> 00:21:04.180
Everything would fall apart. And a lot of the times
368
00:21:04.220 --> 00:21:07.349
we're trying to be the perfect partner, the perfect professional,
369
00:21:07.619 --> 00:21:10.970
the perfect person, the perfect parent, all in the same day.
370
00:21:11.569 --> 00:21:15.930
It's impossible. So instead of asking what's the perfect choice,
371
00:21:16.769 --> 00:21:18.789
I want you to think about this. What is my
372
00:21:18.869 --> 00:21:21.670
top priority, my number one priority for the next six
373
00:21:21.690 --> 00:21:25.089
to 12 months? It literally could be just
graduating and
374
00:21:25.150 --> 00:21:28.369
finding a job. And then second question, what commitments are
375
00:21:28.430 --> 00:21:32.509
truly necessary and what can be reduced or what can
376
00:21:32.529 --> 00:21:35.670
be paused? What if it stopped today wouldn't affect the
377
00:21:35.710 --> 00:21:38.410
rest of your life? And ultimately, if I remove the
378
00:21:38.529 --> 00:21:43.069
fear of disappointing people, what decision would I make? Because
379
00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:46.859
running a business doesn't disappoint people. It's how you communicate
380
00:21:47.140 --> 00:21:49.140
about what you're doing in your life that can let
381
00:21:49.180 --> 00:21:52.130
people down or let them know where you're at. This
382
00:21:52.210 --> 00:21:55.210
next segment is brought to you by Wayfair. Just like
383
00:21:55.250 --> 00:21:58.400
a peaceful mind, a home that supports your everyday life
384
00:21:58.779 --> 00:22:01.539
needs to be built with intention. When you fill your
385
00:22:01.579 --> 00:22:04.940
space with quality pieces you can rely on through life's
386
00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:08.430
unpredictable moments, your home becomes more than a place to live.
387
00:22:08.900 --> 00:22:12.349
It becomes a foundation for everything else you do. So today,
388
00:22:12.549 --> 00:22:15.849
we're talking about the power of making intentional choices and
389
00:22:15.890 --> 00:22:18.869
investing in the pieces that sustain us for years to come.
390
00:22:19.490 --> 00:22:22.910
Welcome to our Built to Last segment. I've been thinking
391
00:22:22.970 --> 00:22:25.970
a lot about this idea of a sanctuary. We usually
392
00:22:26.009 --> 00:22:29.049
imagine a sanctuary as somewhere we escape to, somewhere quiet
393
00:22:29.089 --> 00:22:31.839
and peaceful, away from the demands of everyday life. But
394
00:22:31.859 --> 00:22:34.019
I think one of the most important sanctuaries we can
395
00:22:34.059 --> 00:22:37.220
create is the place we return to every day. Because
396
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:39.380
so much of our lives is spent responding to the
397
00:22:39.420 --> 00:22:43.339
world around us. We're answering messages, making decisions, thinking about
398
00:22:43.380 --> 00:22:46.660
what's next. And even when we physically stop, our minds
399
00:22:46.700 --> 00:22:49.839
don't always stop with us. That's why there's something so
400
00:22:49.900 --> 00:22:52.960
powerful about coming home. You walk through the door, put
401
00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:55.160
your keys down, sit in the place you always sit,
402
00:22:55.539 --> 00:22:58.940
and your body almost seems to recognize, I'm home. I
403
00:22:58.980 --> 00:23:01.880
can exhale here. I think that's what home really is.
404
00:23:02.519 --> 00:23:05.299
It's not just a physical place. It's a feeling. And
405
00:23:05.339 --> 00:23:09.309
that feeling is often created through really ordinary things. The
406
00:23:09.349 --> 00:23:11.349
sofa where everyone gathers at the end of the day.
407
00:23:11.829 --> 00:23:14.529
The lying that makes a room feel warm. The table
408
00:23:14.549 --> 00:23:18.109
where you've had hundreds of conversations. Over time, those things
409
00:23:18.150 --> 00:23:22.099
become part of our rituals. They create a sense of familiarity, comfort,
410
00:23:22.140 --> 00:23:24.539
and belonging. And that's why I don't think creating a
411
00:23:24.579 --> 00:23:27.619
sanctuary is about creating a perfect home. It's about creating
412
00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:30.839
a space that supports the way you actually live. Because
413
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:35.240
restoration doesn't always mean getting away. Sometimes it's walking through
414
00:23:35.289 --> 00:23:38.730
your own front door and feeling your shoulders drop. So
415
00:23:38.750 --> 00:23:41.210
maybe the question isn't just, what does my home look like?
416
00:23:41.750 --> 00:23:44.599
Maybe it's, how does my home make me feel? And
417
00:23:44.630 --> 00:23:47.670
does this space help me come back to myself? When
418
00:23:47.690 --> 00:23:50.349
your home is filled with pieces you can count on,
419
00:23:50.710 --> 00:23:53.230
you have more room to focus on what matters most.
420
00:23:53.809 --> 00:23:56.750
As you care for yourself, let Wayfair help you create
421
00:23:56.789 --> 00:24:00.740
a home that stands up to real life. Head to Wayfair.com
422
00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:07.529
to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style,
423
00:24:08.009 --> 00:24:12.549
every home. Remember that purpose doesn't demand doing everything at once.
424
00:24:13.150 --> 00:24:17.029
True fulfillment comes from understanding that when you feel overwhelmed
425
00:24:17.089 --> 00:24:20.619
by small decisions, it is usually because your mind has
426
00:24:20.660 --> 00:24:24.609
flattened everything into the same urgent bucket. the shift you
427
00:24:24.650 --> 00:24:28.349
need to make is to sequence, not to juggle. Instead
428
00:24:28.410 --> 00:24:31.329
of keeping all those balls in the air, step back
429
00:24:31.750 --> 00:24:35.109
and name the single domino that needs to fall first.
430
00:24:35.869 --> 00:24:39.130
Most of these micro decisions aren't actually equal in weight.
431
00:24:39.650 --> 00:24:42.380
They only feel heavy and identical because you're trying to
432
00:24:42.440 --> 00:24:45.859
carry them all at the exact same time. Thank you
433
00:24:45.900 --> 00:24:48.599
for saying all of that out loud. There's something that
434
00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:52.619
changes the moment you stop holding it all inside. And remember,
435
00:24:52.940 --> 00:24:55.170
you don't have to hold it alone. And I'm so
436
00:24:55.230 --> 00:24:58.420
grateful that you're being so vulnerable and sharing your truth
437
00:24:58.460 --> 00:25:01.900
with so many. Keep sending them in and I'll keep listening.