התמלול המלא של Unveiling Truth: Finding Identity in Christ (Feat. Kira Ritchie) - EP 142

bringing people on that walk, first of all, because there is that difference between doing and saying and actually walking. 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.520 And so I think it's just so, so beautiful. 00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:43.759 And I think my journey has been, I always knew that God lived. 00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:45.039 I always knew He loved me. 00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:47.919 That was never a doubt, never a question in my mind. 00:02:48.159 --> 00:02:56.879 But sometimes we struggle to know that relationship and how to actually use His power. 00:02:57.039 --> 00:03:01.120 Sometimes we reference this idea of using the atonement in our life. 00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:03.280 And then it's like so abstract. 00:03:03.439 --> 00:03:04.560 What does that even mean? 00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:06.319 Yes, Jesus died for me. 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:12.080 Yes, there's this grace, and there is this enabling power, but what does that actually mean for me? 00:03:12.639 --> 00:03:18.879 And and it takes sometimes going through desperate circumstances to find him, right? 00:03:19.039 --> 00:03:25.280 Those low places where he refines us and teaches us things that we can't learn in any other way. 00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:34.879 And for me, one of those experiences was my divorce and navigating life as a single mom of three. 00:03:35.199 --> 00:03:38.719 My divorce was it was absolutely awful. 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:41.199 And it took three years to get through. 00:03:41.520 --> 00:04:04.879 I say awful, but in hindsight, it was beautiful because I never felt closer to my savior, and I developed that relationship with him even deeper to be able to trust him and to lean on him in those moments and to be able to understand what that's like to draw that power into my life and develop a deeper identity. 00:04:05.599 --> 00:04:11.680 And knowing your identity is the key to transforming our relationship with Christ. 00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:15.039 Wow, so much you're talking about here. 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:17.600 We got to get to that identity core part. 00:04:17.839 --> 00:04:22.399 But I think before we need to talk about this desperation part that you talked about. 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:24.160 Desperation. 00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:24.639 Yeah. 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:26.879 Like, what did that look like? 00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:30.480 How did your relationship evolve when you went through this divorce? 00:04:30.560 --> 00:04:32.240 You said it was a three-year process. 00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:38.800 And I can I can only imagine that there I well, I just wonder where were you at at the beginning with the savior? 00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:40.000 Where were you at at the end? 00:04:40.079 --> 00:04:40.399 Yes. 00:04:40.720 --> 00:04:41.759 And how did that change? 00:04:42.160 --> 00:04:42.800 It's a great question. 00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:49.439 I already I always felt like I had a beautiful relationship with him, but there was a deepening that happened. 00:04:49.680 --> 00:04:52.319 And I got to this place in my divorce. 00:04:52.480 --> 00:04:56.480 Um, my husband had become an atheist, and it was just, it was just a dark time. 00:04:56.720 --> 00:05:02.480 And and I got to this point where I was so depressed. 00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:04.240 I didn't want to get out of bed. 00:05:04.720 --> 00:05:15.759 And I remember that I had these beliefs around joy, that I couldn't experience joy in that moment. 00:05:15.920 --> 00:05:27.120 I knew Jesus was the source of joy, and that on the outside, that joy had nothing to do with our circumstances, but everything to do with our walk with Christ. 00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:31.920 And I I knew that cognitively, but it wasn't in my heart. 00:05:32.160 --> 00:05:34.079 And I was just really low. 00:05:34.319 --> 00:05:45.040 And I remember taking a notebook and I wrote out all of the reasons, all of the limiting beliefs that I had felt why I couldn't experience joy right then in my life. 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:52.560 And some of those things were if I experience joy right now, then people will think I'm okay and I won't get the help I need. 00:05:52.959 --> 00:05:59.920 Another one of them was if I allow myself to be joyful right now, then I'm just gonna be disappointed. 00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:01.519 I'm just gonna be hurt. 00:06:01.759 --> 00:06:02.079 Right. 00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:14.959 And we we carry around all of these beliefs and these lies from the enemy, and we hold on to them and we identify with them, and it affects everything, it shapes everything, it shapes the way we see it, right? 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:22.959 That's why it was such a hard time, is because my perception of it saw it as such a hard, thick, dark time. 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:33.040 And and I knew that those were my perceptions, and so I took them one by one to Christ, and I actually asked him to help me rewrite that story. 00:06:33.199 --> 00:06:37.040 I asked him, what is actually true about this? 00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:42.560 And one by one, he told me the truth, and I started to believe. 00:06:42.800 --> 00:06:48.480 And I started to believe him because there's that difference, right, between believing in Christ. 00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:50.079 Yes, I know he died for me. 00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:54.959 Yes, I know all these stories, but believing him is another story. 00:06:55.199 --> 00:07:03.519 So I started to believe him that it was safe and beautiful to experience joy in the midst of that darkness. 00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:16.160 And I started looking for evidence and training my mind to look for joy because our minds are amazing filters, they're amazing gifts from God, and we are constantly co-creating our life with God. 00:07:16.720 --> 00:07:21.279 If we're active co-creators, or sometimes we choose to be the victim of our life, right? 00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:24.959 But we are not victims, we are not slaves to our circumstances. 00:07:25.040 --> 00:07:30.879 And I remember the clear moment that God told me

that you are not a slave to your circumstance. 00:07:31.199 --> 00:07:33.519 Ooh, write that one down, people. 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:34.480 That is good. 00:07:34.639 --> 00:07:36.399 We are not a slave to our circumstances. 00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:43.600 I remember feeling like, whoa, I've been acting like a slave to my circumstances. 00:07:44.240 --> 00:07:52.160 What would happen if I flip that story and that narrative and I start choosing to create the life that I want to create? 00:07:52.319 --> 00:07:54.000 How can I find joy now? 00:07:54.240 --> 00:08:03.040 There's a beautiful neuroscience tool I use with my clients, and it's called Power Questions, where you take instead of an affirmation, you probably have heard of affirmations, right? 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:08.720 Like you're awesome as your wonderful, wonderful affirmation where I am awesome. 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:12.160 If you flip it to a question, it's even more powerful. 00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:13.920 How am I awesome? 00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:21.279 Instead of I experience joy today, your brain, your brain might bump up with some resistance on that, right? 00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:26.000 Like, well, yeah, but look at all these reasons why your brain is always looking for evidence. 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:29.600 So it's like, but these are all the reasons I can't be joyful right now. 00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:33.600 And instead, if you ask, how can I be joyful right now? 00:08:33.840 --> 00:08:36.000 What's something small I could do to bring me joy today? 00:08:36.159 --> 00:08:36.639 I like that. 00:08:36.799 --> 00:08:39.039 What's something I could do to bring me closer to Christ today? 00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:43.039 Then your brain is actually looking for the solution. 00:08:43.279 --> 00:08:44.799 It works in finances. 00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:49.360 How can I create double my income next month instead of I double my income next month? 00:08:49.519 --> 00:08:51.840 Your brain is automatically assuming that there's an answer. 00:08:52.159 --> 00:08:53.519 And so I started doing that. 00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:56.240 And I I asked those questions, how can I find joy? 00:08:56.399 --> 00:08:57.519 I started dancing again. 00:08:57.679 --> 00:08:59.600 I hadn't been dancing in 10 years. 00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:02.720 And God spoke to me through dance and through music. 00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:08.559 And I allowed myself to find myself again, to find who I really was. 00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:25.039 My my true essence, my true expressions that I realized I had been suppressing, not in the worldly sense of the suppressing where sometimes there's this, you know, we have to, your true self is there are a lot of um moral degradation that kind of comes with that phrase sometimes. 00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:32.399 But but I think we do suppress our true essence in nature in the fact that we are children of the most high God. 00:09:32.559 --> 00:09:32.879 Yeah. 00:09:33.279 --> 00:09:43.200 Literal offspring of the creator of the universe, the one who sent and spun the stars in the sky and who governs the laws of creation. 00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:43.919 Yeah. 00:09:44.240 --> 00:09:46.480 We are his direct children. 00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:59.200 And when you it sometimes it's cliche to say I'm a child of God, but when you can really embody that and embody the power of you being a creator, joy opens up. 00:09:59.759 --> 00:10:11.039 You start seeing new possibilities, you start realizing that you have that same essence within you to create life as our father, as our creator. 00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:15.919 And when you can tap into that, infinite there are infinite possibilities. 00:10:16.159 --> 00:10:16.399 Yeah. 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:18.320 Wow, there's there's just so much. 00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:19.200 It's so good. 00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:21.279 Now I want to I want to add this. 00:10:21.360 --> 00:10:27.360 Like my I just had my students, I have them ask this question to their neighbor. 00:10:27.600 --> 00:10:29.759 Where did you see good yesterday? 00:10:30.480 --> 00:10:33.679 Where did you find joy yesterday? 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:37.200 And now I just got reaffirmed on the value of that question. 00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:38.799 Yes, exactly. 00:10:38.879 --> 00:10:39.519 It's a beautiful thing. 00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:45.279 But my thought was is if we learn to and what are you grateful for from yesterday? 00:10:45.440 --> 00:10:45.840 Yes. 00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:53.840 The idea is I'm training them to look back on the day yesterday, find the good, and then bring the gratitude. 00:10:54.639 --> 00:10:58.159 Because a lot of times gratitude's like, what are you grateful for? 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:01.600 I'm grateful for the lights, I'm grateful for air, I'm grateful for water. 00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:10.799 It doesn't seem to resonate as much as, oh, I'm really grateful yesterday that we had a family dinner and a bunch of my kids were there and it was an awesome time. 00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:14.559 That's that resonates a lot more connection. 00:11:14.720 --> 00:11:18.159 So that seems to align with what you were teaching. 00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:23.519 Uh, I want to jump back to taking limiting beliefs to God. 00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:28.000 Fascinating, probably because I've been working on some limiting beliefs recently. 00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:36.000 We all are because I feel like limiting beliefs get in the way from us seeing ourselves as God sees us. 00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:42.480 And I love what you're saying about seeing the divinity with ourselves and coming to believe that for ourselves. 00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:45.840 But this concept of taking limiting beliefs to the Savior. 00:11:46.240 --> 00:11:46.879 Yes. 00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:47.840 Wow. 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:55.759 I I just can you walk us through maybe an example of how one might do that and how you did it. 00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:56.559 Exactly. 00:11:56.720 -->

00:11:58.080 I'd be so happy to. 00:11:58.240 --> 00:12:06.799 This is this is how my coaching model is built around because I found so many people are searching or or looking for tools to support them. 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:08.159 And there are so many tools. 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:14.960 There are so many amazing healing modalities or ways to ways to heal the mind, body, and spirit. 00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:23.279 But I found over and over again that the fastest way to heal a belief is to take it directly to him himself, right? 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:28.000 Because if he tells you something, it just permeates your soul. 00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:34.000 And you just believe it on this deep level, and it changes you to your core. 00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:39.039 And so, what I what I love to do, visualizing is a part of this. 00:12:39.279 --> 00:12:45.919 I believe that the enemy has shut down our gift of visualizing and dreaming and creating and imagining. 00:12:46.000 --> 00:12:57.519 You look at a little child, and we'll circle around to how this connects to your question, but but a child, for example, is full of wonder and delight, and the sky's the limit, and they're always dreaming and imagining things in their mind. 00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:05.200 And that imagination gets shut down as we grow up because we think it's fake or it's not real. 00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:10.399 But my experience has been your imagination is actually the place where you meet Christ. 00:13:10.559 --> 00:13:17.039 It's actually more real than our what we perceive as reality and the world around us right now. 00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:25.519 Because meditation is uh one of my favorite quotes says that meditation is a secret, silent door through which we enter the presence of the Lord. 00:13:25.759 --> 00:13:26.240 Yeah. 00:13:26.399 --> 00:13:26.879 I love it. 00:13:27.200 --> 00:13:30.399 And if you really think about that, it's like, okay, well, then what is meditation? 00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:32.399 How can I bring Christ into this space? 00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:34.080 So that's where we start. 00:13:34.879 --> 00:13:36.639 How can I bring Christ into this space? 00:13:36.799 --> 00:13:39.360 Well, have you ever really taken the time to visualize him? 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:42.159 To imagine yourself in front of him. 00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:50.399 Because if you can't, then it's it's natural for you to feel a little disconnected from him, right? 00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:57.200 To to know that he lived, but that was 2,000 years ago, or that was it feels abstract. 00:13:57.919 --> 00:14:02.320 And so it's beautiful if you can't visualize very well. 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:09.120 You can start with maybe a picture of Christ in front of you that you resonate with and start looking at that and start trying to connect with it. 00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:18.240 And then maybe you can close your eyes, take some deep breaths, imagine light coming through your body and your being and just see Christ. 00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:20.240 Just practice looking for his eyes. 00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:24.159 Practice sensing how it feels to be in his presence. 00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:25.519 What is he doing? 00:14:25.759 --> 00:14:27.360 Is he wanting to give you a hug? 00:14:27.919 --> 00:14:29.440 Is he telling you I love you? 00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:33.279 Is he leading you to walk on water with him? 00:14:33.519 --> 00:14:34.240 What is he doing? 00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:37.360 And it's always a very specific thing that will happen. 00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:40.559 And he has endless gifts he wants to give us. 00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:44.480 And and they're sitting on the doorstep of your life and of your heart. 00:14:44.879 --> 00:14:48.480 And they're just right there waiting for us to reach out and grab them. 00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:58.799 And these beliefs can be shifted when you just talk to him and just practice talking to him as you talk to a friend, just like you're talking with me right now. 00:14:59.679 --> 00:15:12.720 Try visualizing, going there, making that connection, and you will be amazed what happens is you make an intentional effort to know him in that way, in your mind and in your heart, and connecting that. 00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:15.120 And then you can bring the lip the belief to him. 00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:15.360 Yes. 00:15:15.679 --> 00:15:23.679 Yeah, I was just gonna say one thing I have just discovered in the last few years is during the sacrament. 00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:31.519 So if you're not a member of our church, it's just you know, uh uh a classing of the bread and water, kind of like the Last Supper. 00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:38.799 But we I just come to begin a practice of just kind of I call it sitting with the Savior. 00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:55.840 And and it sounds very similar, but I imagine myself sitting on the pew and invite the savior to sit next to me, and then just imagine and visualize what it would be like to just sit with him. 00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:08.960 But I love how you're connecting it to imagine what he's inviting you to do, imagine you uh imagine him uh inviting you to walk on water, maybe, or whatever. 00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:10.960 That's so beautiful. 00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:13.919 And and I found that it's changed my worship. 00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:23.679 Like sacrament meeting isn't for me to go and hear a good speaker, it's for me to go and sit with the savior and to be in his presence. 00:16:23.919 --> 00:16:24.240 Beautiful. 00:16:24.559 --> 00:16:28.399 And I just love how it shaped my heart. 00:16:28.559 --> 00:16:35.840 I mean, it's check excuse me, it's changed me as a man to sit weakly with the savior. 00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:41.519 In the past, it was like, okay, let me tell him all my wrongs and my mistakes. 00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:48.240 Now it's just like I just want to sit with him and feel that warmth and that connection. 00:16:48.480 --> 00:16:58.159 And it's it's totally strengthened my

relationship to where I just imagine and visualize when he comes again. 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:09.759 I think the the biggest indication is like I I envision that I'm running to him, you know, and the front of the line in the first. 00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:17.680 Excuse me, but sorry uh if you can't keep up, but I'm gonna be first in line. 00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:21.359 You know, I'm not very fast, so I doubt that's true. 00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:31.759 But you know, and and it was your friend Becky Webb who introduced me to you, who we talked to one time on an episode about being Jesus' favorite. 00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:32.880 I love that. 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:45.759 And the conclusion I've come to this is when we connect with him and we feel that hug, we will think we're his favorite. 00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:46.640 Absolutely. 00:17:46.880 --> 00:17:53.839 Because when we feel that endless love, yes, it's like, oh my gosh, it's John. 00:17:54.400 --> 00:18:06.240 Yes, you know, yes, and all of that's come about through visualization and trying to meditate and ponder and sit with the savior and taking time. 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:15.440 And a recent thing is I've worked towards trying to train my students on this, is we talk about read, ponder, and pray. 00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:19.839 And sometimes it's read, shut the book, we're done. 00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:25.359 And then maybe we'll pray after, or pray and go to bed, and that's our night routine. 00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:27.119 Read the scriptures, pray. 00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:33.039 But if we don't take time for that ponder, then we're really missing the power. 00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:39.279 And I feel like there's the power really comes in the pondered for me. 00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:41.039 For me, that's just my thoughts. 00:18:41.359 --> 00:18:46.160 Yes, because you're giving space for him to reach you. 00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:47.599 Yeah, giving space. 00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:49.839 And if we don't give space, then there's no response. 00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:54.000 Imagine being on the phone and just saying, okay, da-da-da-da-da-da-da. 00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:54.720 Okay, bye. 00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:57.279 You know, you don't, it's not a conversation. 00:18:57.519 --> 00:19:04.240 And how do you know somebody when there's no space to receive that space to receive that conversation? 00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:11.440 And I love what you said, John, about sacrament being a time where Christ can just sit with you and visualizing that. 00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:32.480 And when you can receive that just full-on love and hug and embrace from Jesus, even if you feel like the worst sinner out there, even if you feel like you're so falling short or whatever, and you can just feel him and his unconditional love permeating you, and you allow yourself to feel it because a lot of times we don't allow ourselves, right? 00:19:32.559 --> 00:19:34.240 That's one of those limiting beliefs. 00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:38.640 I'm

not worthy of that type of love because I've done X, Y, Z. 00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:41.839 Yeah, or you name it. 00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:52.640 If you can put that aside and just open your heart to receive that, that's the type of love that changes you, that changes your heart because now it's relationship-based. 00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:53.039 Yeah. 00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:56.319 It's he's my brother, and I'm a still sister. 00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:57.839 Let's use that limiting belief. 00:19:58.160 --> 00:19:58.400 Yes. 00:19:59.039 --> 00:20:00.720 I'm unworthy of your love. 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:04.160 Walk me through how you might take that to the same. 00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:05.039 Absolutely. 00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:14.640 So so if you're feeling unworthy and you visualize Christ in front of you, you're immediately gonna start feeling that love if you let it in. 00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:15.759 If you let it in. 00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:20.799 And just sometimes I have people identify where that's coming up in their body. 00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:25.279 Sometimes it's they're visualizing, oh, it feels like there's a stone in my heart. 00:20:25.519 --> 00:20:58.079 Like just this beautiful dove to replace that with peace. 00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:02.960 And just breathing in the gift that he wants to give you and letting him take it away. 00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:10.960 Seeing him take it away brings this instant relief that is just indescribable. 00:21:11.279 --> 00:21:13.599 And then asking him what the truth is. 00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:16.400 You know, this is what I've been believing. 00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:18.240 Is this true? 00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:22.319 And you'll feel that's huge. 00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:26.799 You'll feel it, and then he can tell you what is true when you're ready to believe it. 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:29.359 Okay, this is a great activity to everybody listening. 00:21:29.519 --> 00:21:29.920 Yeah. 00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:43.359 Take a sleep a piece of paper, fold it in half, and on one side, have a prayer and a visualization, and then say, okay, what are the lies I believe about myself? 00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:44.720 Yes, exactly. 00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:45.599 Wow. 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:48.400 Yes, yes, what are the lies I'm believing about myself? 00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:54.799 Because we're running around declaring lies to people all the time and to ourselves. 00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:59.839 And again, it's the enemy that's created this mask, he knows who we are. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:02.720 Are we incredibly powerful? 00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:04.720 Incredibly powerful. 00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:14.559 And he knows that if he can just whisper those lies about whether it's, you know, for women, body image is a big one, or just feeling inadequate as a mother, or whatever. 00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:32.160 And it and any of those lies that we're walking around with can be reshaped and changed, or you can be free of all of those things that trap

you in any area of your life, whether it's finances or finances is an interesting area to explore that I'd like to circle back around with with you. 00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:40.000 But I it's just so powerful when you can have Christ teach you the truth because it's coming back to the truth of who you are in him. 00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:42.319 Okay, so this is the second part of the activity. 00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:42.799 Yes. 00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:53.359 The second part of the activity is you take you do five, ten minutes of the lies, however much you want, and then flip the page over and write. 00:22:53.759 --> 00:22:55.440 And now say what is the truth about me. 00:22:55.759 --> 00:22:56.240 Exactly. 00:22:56.400 --> 00:22:57.200 Exactly. 00:22:57.519 --> 00:23:00.400 And let him speak and just write. 00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:02.799 And just write the thoughts that come to your mind, right? 00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:05.039 You have to write them down. 00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:09.039 Because sometimes it's like, I don't know if I should write that down. 00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:10.480 That sounds too good, right? 00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:11.680 Exactly. 00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:13.279 Just write it down. 00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:16.880 Now I after talking to you, I've got the next step. 00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:17.759 Beautiful. 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:20.319 Which I I haven't done before. 00:23:20.559 --> 00:23:23.839 And I've done this with teenagers and high school students. 00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:24.799 They could do this. 00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:27.759 So adults out there listening, you can do this too. 00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:37.759 But what I do is I have them then tear the lies off, and I put an image of Christ on the on the whiteboard and I put a garbage can in front of it. 00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:41.359 And I say, come to Christ and give him the lies, right? 00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:42.640 Oh, that's a beautiful book. 00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:47.440 But what I'm thinking, if we were doing this in our home, and this is for me, okay? 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:48.400 This is for me. 00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:51.200 You're you're really speaking to me, okay? 00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:52.559 I need this episode. 00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:53.519 We all do. 00:23:53.759 --> 00:23:57.119 I need this episode, which happens every episode. 00:23:57.279 --> 00:23:59.519 I'm like, I don't know why I'm doing a podcast. 00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:02.000 I just need to do one-on-one interviews for me. 00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:05.519 But anyway, the point is, this is what I need to do. 00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:08.480 Keep that list handy. 00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:11.759 And then what you're saying is one by one, okay. 00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:16.960 Who here's a lie I believe about myself. 00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:21.839 Why? 00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:24.799 What what do you have to say about this lie? 00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:29.039 And what do you want me to do with this lie? 00:24:29.359 --> 00:24:29.680

Right. 00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:37.440 And the image that's coming to my mind is as as I was driving here, this thought came to me, and I don't know why it was on my mind. 00:24:37.519 --> 00:24:39.039 And then now it's like relevant. 00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:41.119 So sometimes that's how things work. 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:43.359 Superman Clark Kent. 00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:46.720 The old 1980s version. 00:24:46.799 --> 00:24:55.519 There's a there's a video clip of him where he's Clark Kent, he's on a date with Lois Lang, and he just shows up and he's like, Well, should we go? 00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:56.400 Uh, I don't know. 00:24:56.480 --> 00:24:57.599 Uh, do you want to? 00:24:57.759 --> 00:25:00.640 I think maybe we should go get a drink or two or something. 00:25:00.880 --> 00:25:07.279 And and uh he just sounds really wimpy, and he's got his glasses on and his suit on. 00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:09.920 And then she goes to get her coat. 00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:11.920 She's like, I gotta go get a coat. 00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:24.000 She goes in her room, get a coat, and then he comes uh while she's gone for that 20, 30 seconds, he sees a mirror and he looks at himself and he takes off his glasses and he stands up tall. 00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:27.519 And he's like, Uh, Lois, I need to tell you something. 00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:31.920 And in that instant, he flips the switch and now he's Superman. 00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:33.839 And then she's like, uh, Clark. 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:36.559 And then like, I'm Clark Kent. 00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:40.400 It was that quick. 00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:45.200 You know, and I as you were talking about the deceiver, what did you like to call him? 00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:45.920 Yeah, the enemy. 00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:47.039 The enemy, the deceiver. 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:48.880 Yeah, the enemy, the deceiver. 00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:51.599 He loves to play on our Clark Kent. 00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:52.799 I love that. 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:59.279 Yes, he loves to just drive it home that you are Clark Kent. 00:25:59.599 --> 00:26:09.519 But underneath that soup, that suit, not soup, underneath that suit is a superman and a superwoman. 00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:10.240 Exactly. 00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:18.960 Like born of God with godly powers, divine powers, just waiting to be activated. 00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:26.240 The same way Superman's waiting to activate those superpowers that are deep within each of us. 00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:28.400 That's so, so true. 00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:36.079 And the thing is, we have endless spiritual gifts that are waiting to be ignited and realized. 00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:38.319 And we're here to become like Christ. 00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:45.119 And he told us that these miracles and greater shall you do if you have faith, right? 00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:46.720 I have so much work. 00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:49.599 Now, wait, why did you say endless spiritual gifts? 00:26:49.759 --> 00:26:51.200 That's

that caught my attention. 00:26:51.519 --> 00:26:53.599 And and I just want to ask you about that. 00:26:53.759 --> 00:26:53.920 Yeah. 00:26:54.160 --> 00:26:55.039 Why did you say that? 00:26:55.519 --> 00:26:58.960 I believe that spiritual gifts are pieces of Christ. 00:26:59.519 --> 00:26:59.839 They are. 00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:05.519 And that He's given us these pieces, and as we pray and seek for them, we can develop them. 00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:08.240 Some of them come quickly and some of them take years. 00:27:08.480 --> 00:27:13.200 Charity is the greatest of all spiritual gifts, and it's about who we can become. 00:27:13.279 --> 00:27:16.400 But the gratitude you were talking about earlier, that's a beautiful spiritual gift. 00:27:16.480 --> 00:27:20.000 And there's a difference between a grateful mind and a grateful heart. 00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:24.880 And what you were describing is a grateful heart and embodying that gratitude. 00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:26.400 And that's a spiritual gift. 00:27:26.799 --> 00:27:30.480 The gift to cry and to be sensitive is a spiritual gift. 00:27:30.640 --> 00:27:34.000 The gift to perceive what someone else is feeling is a spiritual gift. 00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:36.880 There are so many gifts that can be developed. 00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:41.440 What I'm what I'm hearing you say is, and I've never thought of spiritual gifts like this. 00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:48.799 What I what I hear you saying is they're all parts of Christ, which duh, yeah, Christ has all of them, right? 00:27:49.119 --> 00:27:49.519 Uh-huh. 00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.960 So it's like in the past, it's like, okay, which one are yours? 00:27:55.039 --> 00:28:03.759 And I and and I I do think we're all given spiritual gifts, but maybe it's like we're different phases of development in those spiritual gifts. 00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:15.359 Like maybe your faith to see miracles is up here, and mine is down here, but maybe my um ability to testify to Christ, I've just throwing it out there. 00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:20.559 I I clearly it's not the case, but maybe my ability to testify to Christ is here and yours is down here. 00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:26.400 And it's not like we go around and judge people, but that we're all in different places. 00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:30.000 But the end goal is to be like the savior. 00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:30.480 Yes. 00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:36.319 And so in my mind, I immediately thought, oh, I'm supposed to be on a quest to gather a mall. 00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:46.240 Which is because I shouldn't be satisfied with my one or two or three or four or five or whatever, right? 00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:55.599 I should be on a quest to gain a mall, which is mind-blowing because I'm like, whoo, I got a long ways to go. 00:28:55.839 --> 00:28:59.680 And it's beautiful because everyone, we're supposed to edify each other. 00:28:59.839 --> 00:29:00.000 Sure. 00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:01.519 It's like the body of Christ, right? 00:29:01.599 --> 00:29:05.680 And our the toe is just as important as you know, as your hand. 00:29:05.920 --> 00:29:07.759 And all those are important. 00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:09.920 And yet we get to go. 00:29:10.240 --> 00:29:13.680 That is the quest of our life is to become like Christ and to develop. 00:29:13.759 --> 00:29:15.599 And that is something we get to seek. 00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:24.240 And sometimes there's this almost conflation that happens with people thinking that, well, it's vain to be seeking this or to be able to do that. 00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:26.559 Like the ability to raise the dead. 00:29:26.720 --> 00:29:28.240 Maybe, maybe that's a little pain. 00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:31.839 I meant to say heal the sick or something like that, you know? 00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:37.759 And and what's interesting is that that's there are also limiting beliefs that get tied up in all of that. 00:29:37.920 --> 00:29:44.480 And there's this false this counterfeit that comes in with vanity, for example. 00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:57.119 So one example of this is um I had a client recently that just told me that she didn't feel like, you know, that she's she's not amazing, God is amazing. 00:29:58.640 --> 00:30:01.039 And what was really interesting about that. 00:30:01.920 --> 00:30:03.599 I'm I'm curious to see where you're going with this. 00:30:04.079 --> 00:30:05.759 Yes, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. 00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:09.759 And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. 00:30:09.839 --> 00:30:12.400 And I kept seeing how she was deflecting. 00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:22.400 I I was having her do this exercise where she was seeing herself in the mirror and thanking herself for the waste that she's shown up and gone through trauma and hard things, and she couldn't thank herself. 00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:25.759 She could thank God, but she couldn't thank herself. 00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:40.799 Now, thanking God is incredible and so important, but there's this sometimes this facade of vanity that, oh, if I do this, that makes me vain because I'm taking the glory to myself or I'm taking the honor to myself. 00:30:40.880 --> 00:30:47.759 And now that can be a real thing, but the enemy also knows that he he wants to make us that Clark Kent, right? 00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:49.200 He wants to shrink us. 00:30:49.440 --> 00:31:08.559 And so it's again this really subtle, um, it's a subtle shift to go from saying, No, I am incredible, I am amazing because I have Christ with me, and I can do all things and I can seek all of these beautiful things because Christ is with me. 00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:11.599 And with God, all things are possible. 00:31:11.839 --> 00:31:12.720 All things. 00:31:12.960 --> 00:31:15.039 And we we limit that too. 00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:17.599 We shrink that, which I know you and I talked about earlier. 00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:21.359 We put up walls and ceilings about how that's not true for us. 00:31:21.519 --> 00:31:27.359

Oh, yeah, God will do that for so and so, but he won't do it for me because I'm not worthy or I'm not, da-da-da, I'm not whatever. 00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:34.640 And that is a form of pride that's actually keeping you from the gifts that he's trying to give so much. 00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:36.079 Ask and you shall receive. 00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:39.279 And yet we think, oh, I I can't ask for this or I can't be this. 00:31:39.599 --> 00:31:46.880 And it's like going back to that woman's uh limiting belief the God is good, I'm not. 00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:54.799 I feel like that's like, oh, if I say I'm good, then I'm prideful and arrogant, and God's gonna humble me. 00:31:55.759 --> 00:32:01.599 And it's totally I I think that's against what he wants us to feel for ourselves. 00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:02.480 Exactly. 00:32:02.720 --> 00:32:04.079 You are his creation. 00:32:04.240 --> 00:32:07.680 And would you would you ever say something like that to a child? 00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:10.000 Yeah, you're not amazing but goddess. 00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:11.200 Right? 00:32:11.440 --> 00:32:12.880 And yet we do it to ourselves. 00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:14.160 Sounds painful. 00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:14.799 Exactly. 00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:16.160 You would never tell a child that. 00:32:16.400 --> 00:32:16.960 I hope not. 00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:18.880 Right, yeah. 00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:21.119 And so we we really do. 00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:22.640 We we put up those barriers. 00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:38.960 The same thing with financially, how there's a lot of this going on in the Christian world where they think, oh, if I if I want this, and I if I if I want to be able to have all this money, well, that's selfish and that's vain, and I need to be content with what I have. 00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:48.480 Now, while contentment and gratitude are true principles, there's also this counterfeit, there's this counterfeit humility. 00:32:48.640 --> 00:32:54.720 That's actually not true humility, because God wants to bless his children with all that he has. 00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:56.799 And think of what you can do. 00:32:56.960 --> 00:33:00.319 Think of all the corruption that's going on with the billionaires in the world right now. 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:05.920 Don't you think God wants more righteous billionaires to be able to counter that and to build up his kingdom? 00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:09.200 What would you be able to do with a billion dollars for his kingdom? 00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:11.440 And we think, oh, it's gonna corrupt me. 00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:15.680 But money just multiplies who you already are, just like every other spiritual gift. 00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:18.559 It's it doesn't take away from your character. 00:33:18.799 --> 00:33:26.720 And so that's one of the ways people stay small and they they're afraid to go bigger because they think, oh, I'm gonna be corrupted. 00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:29.279 If I think too much about myself, I'm gonna be corrupted. 00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:31.599 If I have money, I'm gonna be corrupted. 00:33:31.920 --> 00:33:42.880 And the truth is, if you stay connected with Christ, all those gifts, all those tools, money's just a tool and a resource to be able to bless and contribute. 00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:48.799 And it's available if you get out of the way of your own limiting beliefs and receive what's here. 00:33:49.039 --> 00:33:49.440 Yeah, totally. 00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:50.240 What's here for you. 00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:57.839 So what's coming to my mind is the this this idea of what could we become. 00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:05.279 And we we the the the beliefs get in the way of who we could become, and then that limits how we can serve. 00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:09.360 And we're not seeing that we are called, we are chosen. 00:34:09.679 --> 00:34:15.440 In the scriptures, it talks about, you know, I have you've not chosen me, but I have chosen you, or something, something like that. 00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:17.039 I might have been chopping that up, right? 00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:28.559 So, but he's he's chosen us to do something, and to do something takes takes ability and work and effort. 00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:40.000 And what I'm saying is, I think when we uh the the deceiver comes in, the liar, the mandipulator, and he's like, I know you're chosen to do something. 00:34:40.400 --> 00:34:52.400 I don't want you to do it, so let me attack you by just cutting your self-worth in half or diminishing what you could become appear in your mind. 00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:53.199 Yes. 00:34:53.840 --> 00:35:00.000 So you never become what God has chosen you to become or to do or to serve. 00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:01.039 Is that making any sense? 00:35:01.280 --> 00:35:02.000 Oh, absolutely. 00:35:02.239 --> 00:35:02.800 That's exactly right. 00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:06.159 That's exactly right. 00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:09.679 And sometimes we think it's our own thoughts and it's it just. 00:35:10.559 --> 00:35:20.079 And I think even more dangerous is when we say I, and then we say that diminishing state. 00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:20.880 Exactly. 00:35:21.119 --> 00:35:22.480 Because it's embodied now. 00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:22.880 Yeah. 00:35:23.039 --> 00:35:27.519 So it's an embodied identity that is not the truth of who you are. 00:35:27.679 --> 00:35:27.840 Yeah. 00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:28.400 So it is. 00:35:28.480 --> 00:35:30.159 That's how you know what you're eternalized. 00:35:30.639 --> 00:35:30.960 Exactly. 00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:36.639 And you're living from that lie, and so you're going to keep getting the results of a person who's embodied that lie. 00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:49.920 So if you're frustrated about something that's not changing in your life or a circumstance that doesn't seem to be changing, just flip it and just just try on that new belief or take that to Christ and have them rewrite the identity. 00:35:50.079 --> 00:36:05.039 Suddenly you're a superman, you're a

superwoman, you're a queen, you're a king in Christ, and now the sky is the limit, and you can truly do all things with him instead of saying, Well, no, because da-da-da-da-da. 00:36:05.360 --> 00:36:08.960 Yeah, we just cut ourselves in half because we don't believe enough. 00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:09.679 Exactly. 00:36:09.840 --> 00:36:13.199 And really, what we don't believe enough is we don't believe him. 00:36:13.519 --> 00:36:13.920 Exactly. 00:36:14.239 --> 00:36:14.719 It's a trust. 00:36:15.199 --> 00:36:16.719 Well, well, but I I believe in Jesus. 00:36:16.960 --> 00:36:17.199 Right. 00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:22.000 But he's saying you could do X, Y, and Z, and you're saying no, you can't. 00:36:22.719 --> 00:36:25.360 You're not then then we're failing to believe him. 00:36:25.679 --> 00:36:26.000 Exactly. 00:36:26.239 --> 00:36:26.880 Well, that's deep. 00:36:27.039 --> 00:36:27.280 Okay. 00:36:27.360 --> 00:36:27.519 Yeah. 00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:41.280 I want to ask you if you could share an example of somebody that you helped cut through their lies and and the change that overcame them when they really found their identity in Christ. 00:36:41.599 --> 00:36:41.760 Yeah. 00:36:42.159 --> 00:36:43.039 That's so powerful. 00:36:43.199 --> 00:36:45.840 I have to pull from so many examples, let's see. 00:36:48.480 --> 00:37:00.000 I'm trying to think of one in particular, but there just have been so many incredible moments or experiences where people they think that they trust themselves or they think that they trust God. 00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:08.079 And then uh w one client in particular, she she just felt like uh it has to be hard. 00:37:08.239 --> 00:37:09.840 Everything has to be a challenge. 00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:13.280 And she didn't trust herself or God. 00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:18.320 And we don't trust that he's going to lead us, that he knows the next best thing. 00:37:18.480 --> 00:37:23.679 And that is that is the journey of this life is falling into trust and falling into surrender with him. 00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:31.360 And so now that she's able to trust and surrender, because she worked through that with him as if he was standing right there. 00:37:32.719 --> 00:37:39.119 Now it's like, oh, this thing is happening, it's not happening to me, it's happening for me. 00:37:40.079 --> 00:37:48.719 I now am in a place where I trust God and I trust myself to make these decisions in this space because it's not possible to mess up God's plan for me. 00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:51.519 And that's something I had to come to on my own. 00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:56.639 I I, my first marriage, I married someone that I actually didn't want to marry. 00:37:56.960 --> 00:37:58.320 Oh, that is so sad. 00:37:58.559 --> 00:38:03.119 It was very sad, and it I married him because I thought it was God's will for me. 00:38:03.360 --> 00:38:04.400 Oh, that's interesting. 00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:06.000 Yeah, isn't that interesting? 00:38:06.239 --> 00:38:15.360 And I was so I felt so strongly that it was God's will that I overlooked my heart and trusting myself. 00:38:15.679 --> 00:38:16.960 Whoa, this is deep. 00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:18.800 This this is mind-blowing. 00:38:18.960 --> 00:38:19.440 Yeah. 00:38:19.679 --> 00:38:28.719 Like, because this is like agency, like submitting to God's will, like I will go and do even though I don't want to. 00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:29.519 Yes. 00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:33.679 But then you're wow, this is we gotta unravel this a little bit. 00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:40.400 There's so much here with God's will and with agency and what we perceive as God's will. 00:38:40.639 --> 00:38:44.559 And the thing is, God is like, baby girl, what do you want? 00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:54.800 And I will work with you to create that, whether it's a way that you see or a better way that you don't see. 00:38:55.039 --> 00:39:05.280 And and sometimes we think God's will is like this fine little line or path that we have to follow exactly or submit to, or that it's it's we connect it with suffering, right? 00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:09.840 Because Christ in the garden said, Not my will, but thy be done, Father, right? 00:39:09.920 --> 00:39:17.199 And so then we think, oh, if I submit to God's will, it's gonna mean I have to go through hell and suffering in order to get anywhere, right? 00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:22.639 But there's so much in the book of Psalms that is so beautiful about rewriting God's will. 00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:27.599 And one of the one of the chapters says, I delight to do thy will. 00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:28.880 And it's a joy. 00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:31.039 So how can it be a joy to do God's will? 00:39:31.119 --> 00:39:32.639 And what is God's will? 00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:38.960 And I had to come to realize on my own through that experience that it is not possible to mess up God's plan for you. 00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:40.400 You can't do it. 00:39:41.039 --> 00:39:42.880 That's why you cannot do it. 00:39:43.119 --> 00:39:47.760 Now you can make choices that are not the healthiest choices or the best choices for you, right? 00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:55.760 But God used my marriage to change me and refine me, and he used it not just for my good, but for my joy. 00:39:56.239 --> 00:39:56.559 Wow. 00:39:56.800 --> 00:40:06.480 And he used it as a tool to bring me everything my heart has wanted on so many levels that I couldn't even explain all in one phrase. 00:40:06.639 --> 00:40:07.599 I really couldn't. 00:40:08.159 --> 00:40:12.079 And so his will is for us to have joy. 00:40:13.039 --> 00:40:16.320 He wants us to have joy, he wants us to return with him. 00:40:16.880 --> 00:40:19.440 He wants us to have the desires of our heart. 00:40:19.599 --> 00:40:24.800 And so many people get caught up on, well, but what if the desires of my heart are not actually righteous? 00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:32.400 Or there's a there's a phrase, and I believe in the book of James where he talks about

um what is the phrase? 00:40:32.639 --> 00:40:34.320 It is ask not amiss. 00:40:34.480 --> 00:40:35.760 If you ask not amiss. 00:40:36.159 --> 00:40:37.440 And people get caught up on that. 00:40:39.039 --> 00:40:39.920 What does that mean? 00:40:40.079 --> 00:40:41.360 Get ask not amiss. 00:40:41.440 --> 00:40:42.400 Am I asking the wrong thing? 00:40:42.480 --> 00:40:49.360 Is it safe to ask for this miracle or for this this thing that I've always really wanted or felt drawn to, or is it selfish? 00:40:49.599 --> 00:40:57.119 And it's so interesting because the phrase, if you look into the origin of ask not amiss, it has nothing to do with any of that. 00:40:57.280 --> 00:41:10.480 It it's really um it's really asking for something that's evil or that's not it, it has nothing to do with what most Christians are even asking or in that space of, and it's nothing we have to be afraid of. 00:41:10.719 --> 00:41:13.039 He wants to bring us our desires. 00:41:13.199 --> 00:41:17.920 If there's something that's in your heart that's been planted in your heart for years and years, lean into that. 00:41:18.079 --> 00:41:18.559 Trust that. 00:41:18.639 --> 00:41:21.519 What would it look like if you could co-create that with Christ? 00:41:21.679 --> 00:41:24.239 If you've always wanted to do a podcast, right? 00:41:24.480 --> 00:41:25.760 Like lean into that. 00:41:25.920 --> 00:41:31.119 How can Christ help you create that and and trusting and leaning into that process? 00:41:31.519 --> 00:41:34.400 Okay, so this might be a little too personal, but not at all. 00:41:34.719 --> 00:41:42.079 How did you come to the conclusion this was God's will to marry a man and you didn't want to marry him? 00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:44.800 Are we talking about arranged marriage here? 00:41:44.880 --> 00:41:49.360 Or no, it felt like in some ways, no, no, this is a great question. 00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:52.079 Because a lot of people are like, How did this happen, right? 00:41:52.159 --> 00:41:54.480 This is such a big deal and it's such a huge life decision. 00:41:54.880 --> 00:41:56.960 And I was I was 18 years old, first of all. 00:41:57.119 --> 00:42:00.320 So, you know, there's the prefrontal cortex not developed. 00:42:00.880 --> 00:42:02.159 Brain was missing. 00:42:02.719 --> 00:42:15.920 But I was I always tried to be such a good girl and such a straight arrow and tried to be so obedient, and which is which is a gift, it was a spiritual gift to be obedient. 00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:25.519 But um basically, this man came to me and said, you know, I had a dream that you're supposed to marry me, and da-da-da-da-da. 00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:32.719 And and so I knew that God, I knew that God would not force me to marry him. 00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:36.960 I also knew that God would give me my own revelation on that. 00:42:37.119 --> 00:42:37.280 Yeah. 00:42:37.599 --> 00:42:46.079 However, my brain at the time thought that I had to get revelation to confirm what his revelation was. 00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:47.760 And you know what? 00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:54.800 The thing is, I cannot deny certain witnesses or experiences that I had that led me to continue down that path. 00:42:55.039 --> 00:43:03.360 And I had so much peace going down that path, which was so ironic looking back, because you're like, how can you have peace around something that you don't want to do at all, right? 00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:12.800 And in hindsight, how I've reconciled it is I feel that God was allowing me to make that decision, knowing that he was going to use it for my good. 00:43:13.039 --> 00:43:32.239 And I brought three beautiful children into the world and had all of these experiences and learning and growth from it, and he was able to kind of give me a reset where I was now able to choose and make those choices for myself, knowing that I am empowered as a creator with Christ to move forward in that with my will. 00:43:32.480 --> 00:43:33.679 What do I want? 00:43:34.079 --> 00:43:38.960 And is this in line with his path for me, or does he have something better in store? 00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:42.800 And so I'm at peace with it and I don't regret it. 00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:47.840 And I know it was a an option for me at the time. 00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:55.440 If I I I had this fear that if I don't marry him, I'm gonna be messing up God's plan and some some mess is not gonna come around. 00:43:55.760 --> 00:43:56.800 That was the limiting belief. 00:43:57.039 --> 00:43:57.440 It's a lie. 00:43:58.400 --> 00:43:59.519 You can't mess up his plan. 00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:26.079 And and this is proof that I that I've become who I've needed to be at this point in my life because I trust that he's guiding the ship and even if it is using my agency to make choices that you know the the 34-year-old me wouldn't make anymore looking back, it was still something that was used for my good and now I understand the power of my agency and that we are here to create with him. 00:44:26.559 --> 00:44:27.119 Yeah. 00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:35.440 And it's phenomenal because you're sitting here telling this story with a smile on your face and glowing and radiating faith in Jesus Christ. 00:44:35.840 --> 00:44:36.239 Thank you. 00:44:36.559 --> 00:44:41.599 How did you did you go through the the phase of being angry, God? 00:44:42.400 --> 00:44:43.039 I did. 00:44:43.360 --> 00:44:43.920 I did. 00:44:44.079 --> 00:44:57.599 I think I was the most angry or bitter right following separation and my divorce because I had done I'd done everything right and I'd married this man and now he became an atheist. 00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:01.119 And that was like that was the reason I married you, was because we had common ground to be able to do that. 00:45:01.840 --> 00:45:03.440 You'd always been trying to be the good girl. 00:45:03.599 --> 00:45:03.840 Right. 00:45:04.079 --> 00:45:05.840 You tried to do right. 00:45:06.239 --> 00:45:07.440 Be the straight arrow,

right? 00:45:07.760 --> 00:45:10.320 Do things the right way and then right. 00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:14.000 And we we I think everyone can relate to that experience. 00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:17.840 It's like no matter how good you try to be, something's gonna go right. 00:45:18.079 --> 00:45:20.079 And I was so bitter towards men. 00:45:20.159 --> 00:45:28.000 I had been hurt by my own father, and then now by my husband and so many others that I I'd kind of decided to put up a wall. 00:45:28.159 --> 00:45:32.559 And I I was looking through the lens, and again, this is a limiting belief. 00:45:32.639 --> 00:45:41.199 I was looking through the lens of men betray me, that they're that they are they just it's not safe. 00:45:41.360 --> 00:45:47.280 I kept putting up all these barriers, and I I took them to God again. 00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:48.079 The same thing. 00:45:48.239 --> 00:45:51.280 I took, I had to take those beliefs to God and say, show me the truth. 00:45:51.440 --> 00:45:59.440 And bit by bit, piece by piece, he softened my heart and showed me, look, this is just the lens you're looking through. 00:45:59.679 --> 00:46:03.679 The reason why all these men keep showing up is because you believe they're going to show up. 00:46:04.079 --> 00:46:12.559 Our faith is what creates our belief in anything, whether good or bad, is what creates and forms and shapes the circumstances all around us. 00:46:12.880 --> 00:46:19.039 And so once I took that lens off and God showed me the truth, oh, there are incredible men out there. 00:46:19.199 --> 00:46:23.119 There are incredible experiences, and he brought me those experiences to heal. 00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:25.519 And I was able to let the bitterness go. 00:46:25.679 --> 00:46:28.159 I was able to find myself again. 00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:33.119 I was able to throw away old identities through my divorce process. 00:46:33.199 --> 00:47:00.800 I had to learn to let go of what other people thought about me when it was in court and I was being slandered, and and I'm like, wow, I know what it's like to be like Jesus in this situation where he's, you know, having mud slung on him and choosing to know your truth anyway, to know the truth of who you are, and to to lean into that and to have a new paradigm shift and to trust and to trust in a deeper level. 00:47:01.039 --> 00:47:10.480 So I'm the fact that I'm engaged is a, I'm telling you, it's a miracle that I even got to this place, and it's thanks to the goodness of God for changing those beliefs in my heart. 00:47:10.880 --> 00:47:21.519 Yeah, that's how did uh was there a distinct moment or was it just a more of a process to get through that anger with God? 00:47:21.920 --> 00:47:25.039 Or was it just repeatedly That's a great question. 00:47:25.440 --> 00:47:28.880 Turning limiting beliefs over to him, or yeah, that's a great question. 00:47:29.039 --> 00:47:34.320 I think there were some distinct moments, and then there were there was also the gradual process. 00:47:34.559 --> 00:47:50.239 Uh one experience in particular, I remember I was on a hike, and the facilitator of the hike that I didn't even know asked if he could give me a hug because I was crying about all everything that I've just been going through. 00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:52.639 And at the time I was like, don't touch me. 00:47:53.039 --> 00:47:56.400 You know, I just is like, you're a man to just get away from me. 00:47:57.599 --> 00:48:01.760 And and I I ended up letting him give me a hug, even though I had all these walls up in my heart. 00:48:01.840 --> 00:48:04.880 And it was not, it was just such a pure hug. 00:48:05.039 --> 00:48:22.960 And I remember he gave me this hug, and I completely wept, and I just collapsed in his arms and just let him hold me for probably two minutes, and I could feel the savior through this man that was just giving me this hug and just like a brother. 00:48:23.119 --> 00:48:27.360 And it just let some of those walls down of like, oh, this can feel different. 00:48:27.440 --> 00:48:33.119 And it comes back to what we were talking about earlier with love being the change agent. 00:48:33.679 --> 00:48:40.400 Love is that change agent, and it helps us to collapse those walls, whether it's someone you're not forgiving, right? 00:48:40.639 --> 00:48:45.599 Not not forgiving, somebody puts up walls and barriers to what you're trying to create. 00:48:45.760 --> 00:48:52.719 You know, if if you're cut if you're trying to create something big and you're not getting there, look at who you're not forgiving. 00:48:52.880 --> 00:48:55.360 You know, I've had to do some deep, deep, deep work on that. 00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:56.480 Deep forgiving. 00:48:56.639 --> 00:48:58.079 That's and it's a process. 00:48:58.480 --> 00:49:03.679 That's that's one of the poisons that is hard to face sometimes. 00:49:04.079 --> 00:49:04.559 Yes. 00:49:04.800 --> 00:49:06.239 Right, but it's a poison. 00:49:07.360 --> 00:49:10.559 And it's it's like that rotting tooth. 00:49:10.960 --> 00:49:14.159 If you don't get it out, it's gonna keep on hurting. 00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:14.719 Yes. 00:49:15.920 --> 00:49:17.920 Lots of systemic issues, right? 00:49:19.199 --> 00:49:23.199 Sorry, I hope we're not making light of your no, not at all. 00:49:23.360 --> 00:49:25.119 It is it's just real, right? 00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:26.400 Yes, it's just real. 00:49:26.559 --> 00:49:28.000 Yeah, it's real. 00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:32.400 And let me ask you this. 00:49:32.639 --> 00:49:41.519 When that man hugged you and you started to feel the savior, what do you think the message from the savior was for you in that moment? 00:49:42.400 --> 00:49:46.320 Or would that be putting too much into something that wasn't there? 00:49:46.719 --> 00:49:47.840 No, it absolutely was. 00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:53.679 It was it was that masculinity could be safe and that it could feel like Jesus. 00:49:54.239 --> 00:49:56.880 Healthy masculinity is Jesus. 00:49:57.280

--> 00:49:59.519 Whoa, we need to slow down, man. 00:49:59.679 --> 00:50:02.719 Rewind that rewind that man. 00:50:03.199 --> 00:50:06.159 Yeah, because I had already rewind that man. 00:50:07.119 --> 00:50:11.199 Healthy masculinity is Jesus. 00:50:11.440 --> 00:50:12.159 Is Jesus. 00:50:12.400 --> 00:50:13.039 Yeah. 00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:17.840 Because if you ask men what is masculinity, you're gonna get a billion answers. 00:50:17.920 --> 00:50:19.519 But I don't know if you're gonna get that one. 00:50:19.679 --> 00:50:19.920 Yes. 00:50:20.239 --> 00:50:23.360 But that one okay. 00:50:23.760 --> 00:50:26.480 You tell us, men, why that's the case. 00:50:26.719 --> 00:50:32.880 I that's a it was such a powerful experience that was just it was somatic, it was full-bodied. 00:50:33.199 --> 00:50:45.199 Because in my world, masculinity had all this ego attached to it, it had all this machoism and this lack of sensitivity and empathy, and it just didn't feel good. 00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:52.239 And that was part of my filter and my lens that I was looking through and and the bitterness that I was holding on to. 00:50:52.400 --> 00:51:03.679 And so in that moment, experiencing pure Christ-like love through a man on earth that was representing Jesus to me at the time, right? 00:51:03.920 --> 00:51:08.159 But I had this realization of this is what it's supposed to feel like. 00:51:08.400 --> 00:51:14.239 This is what it's supposed to feel like empathy, compassion, still strength, right? 00:51:14.400 --> 00:51:30.719 But men have been sold this lie that the empathy and compassion is weakness, that we being is weakness, and it's not, it's actually part of the beautiful fiber that makes you strong and protective and beautiful, and that women want to lean into and that they need. 00:51:31.199 --> 00:51:37.519 And so having Christ represent that for me changed everything. 00:51:40.079 --> 00:51:42.639 I suddenly knew what I was looking for and that it existed. 00:51:43.519 --> 00:51:47.199 And our limits stop us from realizing what actually exists. 00:51:48.880 --> 00:51:49.199 Wow. 00:51:50.079 --> 00:51:54.480 I just feel like we need more of that in the world. 00:51:54.800 --> 00:51:55.039 Yes. 00:51:55.440 --> 00:52:00.000 We have to help men to define masculinity as Jesus Christ. 00:52:00.400 --> 00:52:00.719 Yes. 00:52:00.960 --> 00:52:03.840 And that's why Christ is not an option in our lives. 00:52:04.639 --> 00:52:12.000 He's a mandatory figure that has to be in our lives, or else men don't become their true selves. 00:52:12.800 --> 00:52:18.400 And men can't become the men that we need in this world today. 00:52:18.639 --> 00:52:24.880 We don't mean need men loaded up with guns, whether that be in a safe or right here. 00:52:26.079 --> 00:52:29.199 Now we like those muscle guns, guys. 00:52:29.920 --> 00:52:35.360 But we need men in homes, and I'm speaking to myself here. 00:52:35.599 --> 00:52:44.800 Um men in home who men in homes who represent

Christ, model Christ to their children. 00:52:45.039 --> 00:52:46.719 That will transform the world. 00:52:47.119 --> 00:52:52.159 It will transform our homes, transform our neighborhoods, transform the world. 00:52:52.480 --> 00:53:01.119 And the greatest we work that we can do as men is to be Christ for our home. 00:53:01.440 --> 00:53:01.840 Yes. 00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:07.519 That means kind, compassionate, loving, but yet hard working. 00:53:08.559 --> 00:53:20.800 A little bit of a discipline and some, you know, some structure, all of that, leadership, in conjunction with our spouse, because she's a leader too. 00:53:21.039 --> 00:53:21.519 Yes. 00:53:21.840 --> 00:53:30.400 And we have to work together, but not dominate, but to support and to leave with kindness and compassion. 00:53:31.360 --> 00:53:37.280 And uh I just thank you so much for defining masculinity as Jesus. 00:53:37.599 --> 00:53:42.000 That is beautiful. 00:53:42.400 --> 00:53:45.599 Well, and that that that's gonna shape me for a lot of years. 00:53:45.760 --> 00:53:49.039 Oh, I mean, I'm I'm not a perfect dad. 00:53:49.519 --> 00:54:09.840 I'm not a perfect husband, but I'm a committed dad, and I'm a committed husband, and I choose my wife over and over again, not because I have to, but because I love her, and I choose to show up as my kids and choose to try to improve so that I can represent Christ. 00:54:10.079 --> 00:54:13.760 And one of the greatest things I've learned to do is apologize. 00:54:14.559 --> 00:54:15.119 Right. 00:54:15.840 --> 00:54:16.159 Mrs. 00:54:16.400 --> 00:54:20.719 Wright's always right, because I just need to apologize. 00:54:21.039 --> 00:54:27.519 We all do, but I'm trying to show my boys that a masculine man can apologize. 00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:35.760 Yes, and a masculine man can be wrong, and a masculine man can admit it, and that a masculine man doesn't have to be full of pride. 00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:36.559 Yeah. 00:54:36.880 --> 00:54:43.920 And you said something really powerful earlier where you were talking about the guns and the double guns, right? 00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:59.679 But but men are wired to protect, and a lot of times they turn towards those things as the way of protection or getting defensive or something confrontational because they think, well, I'm I'm protecting. 00:55:00.159 --> 00:55:03.199 But that's did you ever see Christ with a gun? 00:55:04.159 --> 00:55:04.480 Right? 00:55:04.639 --> 00:55:06.400 Or a spear in his time. 00:55:06.960 --> 00:55:18.639 He protected, and he is protection through the spiritual protection, and that's far more powerful to woman and a family than any other form could ever be. 00:55:18.880 --> 00:55:22.559 Because if you have, think about Joseph and Mary. 00:55:23.440 --> 00:55:29.840 Joseph wasn't tuned enough to receive the dream from the angel that said, take your wife and go. 00:55:30.639 --> 00:55:40.239 He was able to protect his family, not with weapons, not with his pride, but with his spirit and keep his son from getting killed. 00:55:40.480 --> 00:55:45.199 And there are so many examples of that in the scripture, and that is the ultimate protection. 00:55:45.599 --> 00:55:53.679 And and as women, we do this too, or or we'll form walls around our heart, because these walls are what are keeping me safe. 00:55:53.840 --> 00:55:56.320 If I can keep everyone two feet away, right? 00:55:56.400 --> 00:56:05.599 I just had a man I worked with recently that just had built all these walls around social connections and all of this, because if I can just keep these people away, then I'll be safe. 00:56:06.320 --> 00:56:11.199 And again, that's a that's a lie that the true protection is Christ. 00:56:11.440 --> 00:56:14.880 It's safe to let those walls in, and Christ is gonna protect you. 00:56:15.519 --> 00:56:16.559 Can you trust that? 00:56:16.719 --> 00:56:18.000 Can you lean into that? 00:56:18.639 --> 00:56:32.400 Well, I was thinking of as you were talking about the double guns again, and the thought came to me, you know, as men and men and the protection mindset, we think, oh, I've got to, you know, protect my family from an invader. 00:56:32.960 --> 00:56:39.440 But I've been married for 30 years and I've never had to physically protect my wife or kids. 00:56:39.679 --> 00:56:40.320 I just haven't. 00:56:40.480 --> 00:56:41.679 And thankfully, right? 00:56:42.480 --> 00:56:47.360 Thankfully, I've never had to defend our safety physically. 00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:50.559 But spiritually, the battle wages every day. 00:56:50.800 --> 00:56:51.039 So much. 00:56:51.280 --> 00:56:53.280 So we talk about which one's more important. 00:56:53.840 --> 00:56:58.800 You know, is it is it important you have physical protections and cameras or whatever? 00:56:58.880 --> 00:56:59.440 I don't know. 00:56:59.599 --> 00:57:15.840 But but that spiritual protection is something that's gotta be the top priority because in my 30 years, I've had to show up spiritually for my kids, like and my wife and my family and my home thousands of times. 00:57:16.320 --> 00:57:16.719 Right? 00:57:16.960 --> 00:57:19.199 And who who could even put a count to it? 00:57:19.280 --> 00:57:27.679 Yeah, the the spiritual impact, trying to connect my family, my wife, and children to the savior, the impact of that. 00:57:27.920 --> 00:57:29.119 Definitely not perfect. 00:57:29.199 --> 00:57:37.920 I'm not a perfect dad, I'm not a perfect husband, but I'm committed to showing up, apologizing, trying again, and I'm intentional. 00:57:38.400 --> 00:57:39.679 Which is all Christ asks. 00:57:40.079 --> 00:57:40.719 That's what we need. 00:57:40.960 --> 00:57:41.519 Yes, right. 00:57:41.679 --> 00:57:42.000 Yes. 00:57:42.239 --> 00:57:56.000 And I say this because the world is falling apart in a lot of ways, and people point to all these things that are creating different disconnect or whatever in the world and the problems and things like that. 00:57:57.199 -->

00:58:01.039 But I think that one of the big solutions is Christ-like men. 00:58:02.559 --> 00:58:03.760 Christ-like men. 00:58:04.480 --> 00:58:13.760 And I hope my boys will rise up not to be successful billionaires or successful in their sports that we played so much growing up. 00:58:14.079 --> 00:58:20.800 But I ha hope they'll be men of God seeking his help to raise a righteous posterity. 00:58:21.440 --> 00:58:22.239 That's beautiful. 00:58:22.480 --> 00:58:23.199 That's beautiful. 00:58:23.280 --> 00:58:27.119 And that's no success can compensate for failure in the home, right? 00:58:27.199 --> 00:58:28.320 One of my favorite quotes. 00:58:28.800 --> 00:58:30.400 And and it is a war. 00:58:30.719 --> 00:58:33.119 We are in a full-on war. 00:58:33.440 --> 00:58:37.360 And having been a single mom for so long, I felt that. 00:58:37.519 --> 00:58:39.599 And I feel the back and forth. 00:58:39.679 --> 00:58:54.719 And maybe some of your listeners can relate to this of just trying to counter everything, whether it's from a former spouse or whether it's from the school systems they're in or they're their children's friends, and it can feel like this tug of war sometimes, right? 00:58:54.800 --> 00:58:56.320 To keep them to the light. 00:58:56.559 --> 00:58:58.559 I wrote a poem about it recently. 00:58:58.800 --> 00:59:13.760 But I think that there's this beautiful process of surrender in that too, of knowing just like Moses' mother put baby Moses in that basket and surrendered him to the river, that that's the journey every parent gets to go through. 00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:16.320 Is okay, I've done my part. 00:59:16.559 --> 00:59:26.239 Being intentional, like you're saying, doesn't mean we are not intentional, but also there's this surrender of he's he's your child first and he was your child first. 00:59:26.400 --> 00:59:28.880 And I'm gonna trust that and trust their journey. 00:59:29.119 --> 00:59:29.360 Yeah. 00:59:29.760 --> 00:59:32.880 And it's hard, it's easier said than done sometimes. 00:59:34.559 --> 00:59:41.039 But it is, it does bring so much relief because what happens is we have an identity that attaches to that child. 00:59:41.119 --> 00:59:52.079 So if that child strays from from Christ or for truth or from gospel, a lot of times, especially the women I've seen, tend to connect their identity with that. 00:59:52.239 --> 00:59:54.800 If my child does that, that means I'm a bad mom. 00:59:55.360 --> 00:59:56.320 That means I fell short. 00:59:59.199 --> 00:59:59.360 Right. 00:59:59.519 --> 01:00:01.840 And the truth is it's not about you. 01:00:01.920 --> 01:00:06.559 There are times when there's obviously too much permissiveness or not enough intention in the home. 01:00:06.639 --> 01:00:07.599 That is true. 01:00:07.840 --> 01:00:14.000 But to connect it to, oh, it's my fault because my child made these choices, that's not what the savior wants. 01:00:14.480 --> 01:00:26.960 Yeah, or therefore, I'm I'm a bad person, I'm not

worthy of uh heaven, I'm not worthy of his love or forgiveness or support because I was a failure. 01:00:27.360 --> 01:00:27.599 Exactly. 01:00:28.000 --> 01:00:32.079 A mom, which is really overstepping, full of lies there, right? 01:00:32.159 --> 01:00:32.960 Can we just say that? 01:00:33.280 --> 01:00:34.880 Lies everywhere. 01:00:35.199 --> 01:00:41.920 Yes, yes, and again, taking those to Jesus Christ. 01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:56.400 I I just love that process, and my my my brain is just spinning because I'm in the middle of this re-uh identifying limiting beliefs and uh finding my identity through Christ. 01:00:56.639 --> 01:00:59.039 Uh, because I think it's, you know, it's I don't know. 01:00:59.199 --> 01:01:00.960 Do well, let me ask you, coach. 01:01:01.119 --> 01:01:07.840 Uh, do you get to a point where you're like, okay, I've I've I've completely identified myself. 01:01:08.320 --> 01:01:11.840 It's always evolving and finding more layers of there. 01:01:11.920 --> 01:01:12.400 I am. 01:01:12.719 --> 01:01:13.760 There I am. 01:01:14.239 --> 01:01:17.760 An exercise that I can add for your listeners too if you'd like. 01:01:17.840 --> 01:01:24.559 It's pretty simple, but a lot of times we've we've constructed an idea of who God is based off of who our parents are. 01:01:24.880 --> 01:01:29.840 Yeah, and who our dad is and can impact how we view Heavenly Father. 01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:30.800 Exactly. 01:01:31.039 --> 01:01:33.599 Like men are jerks, therefore God is a jerk. 01:01:33.920 --> 01:01:35.119 Is that kind of where you're going with it? 01:01:35.519 --> 01:01:35.840 Exactly. 01:01:36.000 --> 01:01:51.920 Or my dad treated me this way, or he held back from me, or this uh one client I'm dealing with, uh, not dealing with, this one client I've had recently has been dealing with uh this wrestle with, oh, but my dad didn't ever give me anything unless I earned it. 01:01:52.559 --> 01:01:55.039 And we we looked at that. 01:01:55.199 --> 01:01:57.920 How is that showing up in your relationship with God right now? 01:01:58.079 --> 01:02:01.519 Oh, he felt like God doesn't give me anything unless I earn it. 01:02:01.760 --> 01:02:03.679 And so I invited him to open that up. 01:02:03.840 --> 01:02:06.719 Well, doesn't God love to delight and surprise you? 01:02:06.880 --> 01:02:13.840 I love to just surprise my kids sometimes with, hey, here's a little thing I left on your bed for you today, because it brings me joy to light them up. 01:02:14.000 --> 01:02:21.760 And so he was able to rewrite that whole experience and and say, Oh, God is a God delights to do this for me. 01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:24.239 But it is that the parental connection. 01:02:24.400 --> 01:02:27.199 So I really invite everyone listening to to look at that. 01:02:27.280 --> 01:02:36.880 And you can write it on a piece of paper, draw a little stick figure if you want, and say, This is this is my perception of God, and write all around it what your perception is. 01:02:37.039 --> 01:02:38.239 This is how he treats me. 01:02:38.320 --> 01:02:41.199 This is, I have to do this in order to do this. 01:02:41.440 --> 01:02:48.719 And then how do you get them past the the things you're taught about God? 01:02:49.440 --> 01:02:55.519 How do you get past, oh, I'm just gonna say God is loving, God is kind, God is friendly, God is caring. 01:02:56.000 --> 01:03:05.360 How do you get past the the I don't I don't want to say stereotype, but I do get past the fake or or it's not fake because that's really who God is, but that's who you were taught. 01:03:05.440 --> 01:03:10.480 But deep down below below, you're like, God doesn't really teach me yet, treat me nicely. 01:03:11.119 --> 01:03:15.599 Or he's gonna make my life miserable until I learn my lesson, or I have to earn my worth, or I have to. 01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:16.159 Yeah. 01:03:16.320 --> 01:03:18.000 So how do you get that real nitty-gritty? 01:03:18.320 --> 01:03:19.440 That's it, that's a great question. 01:03:19.599 --> 01:03:31.039 One of the ways can be to really look and pretend like that on the paper is your parent, is your father, is your mother, or whoever, because we pull it from our mother too. 01:03:31.599 --> 01:03:40.159 And and so if you had a negligent mother or a negligent father, sometimes it can be like, they're not there for me and they don't answer my purse. 01:03:41.119 --> 01:03:46.800 God isn't there, he doesn't answer my purse, because you have that experience of negligence as a child. 01:03:46.880 --> 01:03:48.480 And so that's your relationship. 01:03:48.719 --> 01:03:55.679 So if if it it can help to say, okay, these are my actual mortal parents, what do I believe about them? 01:03:55.920 --> 01:04:00.880 And how does that connect to what I've been believing or allowing myself to believe about God? 01:04:01.039 --> 01:04:01.440 Yeah. 01:04:01.760 --> 01:04:07.599 And once that's there, crumble it up, toss it, and start a new paper. 01:04:08.000 --> 01:04:09.920 Very similar to the exercise earlier, right? 01:04:10.159 --> 01:04:10.960 Draw a stick figure. 01:04:11.119 --> 01:04:22.000 What does he want me to believe and understand about true healthy parent-child relationships and what this is actually like so you can move forward from that space. 01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:25.840 That seems like a really powerful activity. 01:04:27.440 --> 01:04:28.719 That changes everything. 01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:31.840 That relationship changes everything. 01:04:32.239 --> 01:04:34.639 And then visualizing too, right? 01:04:34.719 --> 01:04:35.760 And yeah. 01:04:36.239 --> 01:04:40.000 So let me ask you if you could capstone. 01:04:40.639 --> 01:04:43.039 Wow, you've been on this journey. 01:04:43.920 --> 01:04:45.920 I think you said you got married at 18. 01:04:46.000 --> 01:04:47.679 I think you said you're 33, is that right? 01:04:47.920 --> 01:04:48.400 34, yeah. 01:04:48.960 --> 01:04:49.760 Okay, 34. 01:04:49.920 --> 01:04:50.960 You look

33. 01:04:51.440 --> 01:04:52.000 Oh, thanks. 01:04:52.159 --> 01:04:53.360 I'll take it. 01:04:54.159 --> 01:04:57.119 Uh and and it's been quite the journey. 01:04:57.440 --> 01:05:16.079 And you've you went through this dark phase of marriage and uh dark phase where after you got divorced and through the divorce process, and now you're coaching people about Jesus and changing lives and smiling and laughing about it. 01:05:16.800 --> 01:05:17.440 Right? 01:05:18.079 --> 01:05:19.519 What a journey. 01:05:19.760 --> 01:05:22.639 What does Christ mean to you personally today? 01:05:23.039 --> 01:05:24.559 Such a beautiful question. 01:05:24.880 --> 01:05:26.400 He means everything. 01:05:26.719 --> 01:05:27.599 He means everything. 01:05:27.760 --> 01:05:34.239 And I maybe that's cliche, but he is the breath that's in my lungs. 01:05:34.559 --> 01:05:36.320 He is what makes me move. 01:05:36.719 --> 01:05:40.239 Everything I am, everything I have is it's all his. 01:05:40.559 --> 01:05:41.840 It's not even mine. 01:05:42.800 --> 01:05:47.679 And he he is the power that sustains us. 01:05:47.840 --> 01:05:52.639 So we talk a lot about how he's the one who forgives us from our sins, which is beautiful. 01:05:52.719 --> 01:05:59.760 But equally as important is that he is our breath, he is our life itself. 01:06:01.199 --> 01:06:04.800 He is the the sun that beats down on this earth. 01:06:04.960 --> 01:06:11.039 He is in the grass, he's in the flowers and the trees and the beauty that has been created here for us. 01:06:11.199 --> 01:06:14.480 And so he's in the laughter of children. 01:06:14.639 --> 01:06:17.199 He's in all of creation in and through us. 01:06:17.360 --> 01:06:21.840 And so he that that's the only way I can sum him up is he is everything. 01:06:22.480 --> 01:06:22.639 Yeah. 01:06:23.519 --> 01:06:27.280 What's your what's your go-to method to connect with him these days? 01:06:28.159 --> 01:06:28.960 That's a great question. 01:06:29.199 --> 01:06:32.960 I'm meditating absolutely scriptures, of course. 01:06:33.679 --> 01:06:38.880 And I've created a software that I know you've had a chance to play with a little bit. 01:06:39.199 --> 01:06:49.599 And it is based off of the principles and neuroscience of visualization and these concepts that we're talking about, but sometimes it's harder for some people to visualize something in their mind. 01:06:49.760 --> 01:06:54.400 And so this is a way to make it more concrete and to be rehearsing that. 01:06:54.559 --> 01:06:56.559 And you can use it for spiritual applications. 01:06:56.719 --> 01:07:00.880 So basically, you you create a video, super simple. 01:07:01.039 --> 01:07:13.599 Actually, I have it now where you can literally upload a picture of yourself and tell the software, create an image of or a video of me walking with Jesus down this path. 01:07:13.840 --> 01:07:14.559 Oh my goodness. 01:07:14.800 --> 01:07:16.559 And actually walking with Christ, right? 01:07:16.719 --> 01:07:20.079 Or that He's sitting with me or holding me in my grief or whatever. 01:07:20.159 --> 01:07:21.440 And it will make it. 01:07:22.320 --> 01:07:23.519 It's so amazing. 01:07:23.760 --> 01:07:29.440 And so you can actually visualize that, create any type of image you want, bring in, bring in experiences. 01:07:29.599 --> 01:07:30.400 What do you want? 01:07:30.559 --> 01:07:45.039 If you're trying to get in the scriptures more often, you can create or find a video of the scriptures to put in there so that you're watching that and your brain is going to look for again the evidences of how you can make that happen more because what you focus on expands. 01:07:45.280 --> 01:07:50.880 So if you can focus on Christ visually, you can develop a deeper relationship with Him. 01:07:51.039 --> 01:07:58.000 So the software lets you add music, add your own voice, add questions, your own questions to the top of the video. 01:07:58.079 --> 01:08:00.639 Like, how is it that I feel so connected with Christ right now? 01:08:00.960 --> 01:08:02.480 How is it that it feels so joyful? 01:08:02.719 --> 01:08:04.239 You can do it in every area of your life. 01:08:04.320 --> 01:08:10.960 I've got people, athletes doing this, or bodybuilders doing it, where they're visualizing themselves slam dunking or whatever it is. 01:08:11.840 --> 01:08:12.800 But this is the Christmas. 01:08:13.199 --> 01:08:18.960 But what you're saying is the visualization that performance athletes use is the same visualization. 01:08:19.199 --> 01:08:19.359 Yes. 01:08:19.760 --> 01:08:21.119 Of course, the images are different. 01:08:21.439 --> 01:08:21.680 Yes. 01:08:21.920 --> 01:08:27.680 But the visualization practice of a relationship with Jesus Christ and your spirituality and your growth. 01:08:28.399 --> 01:08:28.640 Wow. 01:08:29.039 --> 01:08:33.279 It's the same process because all things are created spiritually before they're created physically. 01:08:33.520 --> 01:08:36.159 If you really understand that, your whole world will change. 01:08:36.720 --> 01:08:41.520 Christ had the plan of the earth before he spoke and the world was made. 01:08:41.680 --> 01:08:48.880 And our words are so powerful, and it's part of what shapes and creates, but you have to have the visual blueprint for anything to come into fruition. 01:08:49.279 --> 01:08:52.720 For us to do this podcast, it had to be in your mind and in my mind. 01:08:52.880 --> 01:08:56.159 We had to see it and imagine it and create it. 01:08:56.319 --> 01:09:04.079 And so being able to have it, like you said, it's the same power that athletes use to get that slam dunk or Olympic swimmers use to get there. 01:09:04.479 --> 01:09:05.600 That's part of their training. 01:09:05.840 --> 01:09:08.479 Visualize, visualize, visualize, visualize, see yourself getting there. 01:09:08.640 --> 01:09:16.000 What would happen if we actually apply that to our relationship with Christ and what you want out of that relationship?

01:09:16.239 --> 01:09:17.760 It it changes everything. 01:09:18.079 --> 01:09:19.600 Wow, that is mind-blowing. 01:09:19.840 --> 01:09:23.520 So how would we how do we go about accessing this? 01:09:23.600 --> 01:09:30.720 Because I I really want to experiment with this what what you're talking about, the vision board, the video thing. 01:09:30.880 --> 01:09:31.520 That sounds cool. 01:09:31.840 --> 01:09:36.079 Just go find the link in, I believe it's going to be in your bundle down below in the description. 01:09:36.479 --> 01:09:36.800 Okay, yeah. 01:09:37.119 --> 01:09:38.000 It's super simple. 01:09:38.159 --> 01:09:40.399 And you just click that link and you can get started there. 01:09:40.640 --> 01:09:42.000 It's Studio Go or something. 01:09:42.800 --> 01:09:44.399 Yes, Studio Go is the name of the software. 01:09:44.720 --> 01:09:45.359 Name of the software. 01:09:45.600 --> 01:09:45.680 Okay. 01:09:45.920 --> 01:09:48.239 So we'll put we'll put a link for that in the show notes. 01:09:48.560 --> 01:09:52.720 And there you'll find a tab that's called Studio Go, and that will take you right to the software. 01:09:52.880 --> 01:09:54.560 You can start with a free video. 01:09:55.039 --> 01:10:02.159 And so does it kind of walk you through because I think tech, and I'm like, man, this podcast has been way over my head with tech stuff. 01:10:03.600 --> 01:10:03.840 I get it. 01:10:04.640 --> 01:10:04.800 Yes. 01:10:05.199 --> 01:10:10.560 I mean, is it is it designed for someone with tech experience, or is this pretty? 01:10:10.960 --> 01:10:12.319 You can have zero tech experience. 01:10:12.399 --> 01:10:13.439 You don't have to be a designer. 01:10:13.520 --> 01:10:15.119 You don't have to like tech at all. 01:10:15.279 --> 01:10:19.760 It's I have an 80-year-old woman who's doing it and told me it was so easy. 01:10:20.239 --> 01:10:21.680 So it's it's so great. 01:10:21.760 --> 01:10:24.880 And there's a little tour that'll walk you through how to create your own video. 01:10:25.119 --> 01:10:32.399 There's a there's a process in there where you plant your seed, which represents your intention, your desire, and then you nourish it with gratitude. 01:10:32.560 --> 01:10:39.920 You nourish it with your action steps because faith without works is dead, and you actually watch your tree grow as you stay focused on your vision. 01:10:40.079 --> 01:10:41.439 What is it that you're creating? 01:10:41.520 --> 01:10:47.199 And you show up every day to to create it, and you can connect with a community there. 01:10:47.279 --> 01:10:58.800 So if there are people that you want to share visions with, and and I'd use it with my family, with my own children to help them focus on their goals and what they're creating in their world, or how is their relationship with Christ? 01:10:59.039 --> 01:11:03.439 They can have their own creations and we can share them together in the circle or with your community. 01:11:03.680 --> 01:11:04.000 Wow. 01:11:04.159

--> 01:11:06.159 So it's a really incredible platform. 01:11:10.239 --> 01:11:11.520 It's beautiful. 01:11:11.760 --> 01:11:12.800 It's beautiful. 01:11:12.960 --> 01:11:18.800 I mean, to be able to, it moves me to tears when I watch mine, my spiritual vision video. 01:11:19.359 --> 01:11:27.359 And I watched as other people can finally connect with him on a deeper level because they can see it. 01:11:28.159 --> 01:11:36.159 And so it brings this new depth of power of whoa, this is I can feel it now because I can see it. 01:11:36.560 --> 01:11:43.119 And sometimes that's that missing link of what we needed to integrate that relationship on a deeper level. 01:11:43.840 --> 01:11:46.000 So that's incredible. 01:11:46.479 --> 01:11:47.039 Thank you. 01:11:47.520 --> 01:11:47.760 Yeah. 01:11:48.479 --> 01:11:51.920 Wow, what an hour or so we've had together. 01:11:52.319 --> 01:11:54.159 I just want to thank you so much. 01:11:54.640 --> 01:11:55.039 Thank you, John. 01:11:55.520 --> 01:12:00.720 For bringing such great faith in such a rough story. 01:12:01.279 --> 01:12:15.920 But now coming out, like we'll use your example of the the seed, you know, 18-year-old young lady uh went through some rough growing, pruning, uh yeah. 01:12:17.680 --> 01:12:22.720 To now a beautiful fruit tree that's producing fruit to bless the world. 01:12:23.039 --> 01:12:27.439 And helping so many people uh to find the Savior Jesus Christ. 01:12:27.520 --> 01:12:30.960 I mean, it's just and to help them with their limiting beliefs. 01:12:31.600 --> 01:12:32.000 Thank you. 01:12:32.239 --> 01:12:38.000 I think it's just a testimony that Christ has chosen all of us. 01:12:39.279 --> 01:12:45.199 And when we're in that midst of that darkness, it's hard to see like really what that's for. 01:12:45.439 --> 01:12:50.000 But his plan is to use all darkness for good. 01:12:51.279 --> 01:12:55.600 And darkness only it can't block out the light. 01:12:56.239 --> 01:13:08.800 And when he comes into our life, he brings the light and then it amplifies that light to see things we never thought were possible or never even entered our mind. 01:13:09.199 --> 01:13:10.319 It's never even fathomed. 01:13:10.880 --> 01:13:11.359 We love that. 01:13:11.520 --> 01:13:14.079 That's what light does, it illuminates possibility. 01:13:14.479 --> 01:13:22.720 And so the more Christ we invite, the more that it illuminates our lives to see what is He called and chosen us to do. 01:13:23.279 --> 01:13:26.000 Yes, to be that fruit that multiplies. 01:13:26.159 --> 01:13:27.520 He wants us to multiply. 01:13:27.840 --> 01:13:31.039 And we are here to be a light to the world. 01:13:31.359 --> 01:13:36.239 We can't be a light to the world up where hiding and and playing small. 01:13:36.560 --> 01:13:39.039 So we're all here to do something incredible. 01:13:39.279 --> 01:13:40.479 It's so wonderful. 01:13:40.960 --> 01:13:42.239 Thank you, John, for having me. 01:13:42.399 --> 01:13:42.960 It's so great. 01:13:43.119 --> 01:13:44.239 Thank you so much for joining us. 01:13:44.399 --> 01:13:45.279 It's been so fun. 01:13:45.520 --> 01:13:46.399 You're awesome. 01:13:46.640 --> 01:13:48.159 You're awesome, my friends. 01:13:48.319 --> 01:13:52.239 Thank you, everybody, for joining us on this week's episode of Walking with the Savior. 01:13:52.479 --> 01:14:01.840 Please hit like, hit subscribe, share this with a friend because I don't know about you, but my blunt brain is like Thanks, everybody. 01:14:02.000 --> 01:14:02.800 Have a great week. 01:14:03.039 --> 01:14:03.760 Take care.