התמלול המלא של Never Alone: Someone Believed in You—Now Be That Person for Someone Else (Episode 34)

being able to... 00:02:45.193 --> 00:02:53.622 'Cause I, you know, I tend to be a person that really wants to kinda just take charge of the situation, you know, handle it all myself. 00:02:53.962 --> 00:02:58.342 You know, then I know, you know, I figure it's gonna get done the way I want it done, that kind of thing. 00:02:58.372 --> 00:03:11.712 And just to, to, you know, through the process, being able to let go of that and to encourage other people to then do it in a way that they think would be best, you know? 00:03:12.048 --> 00:03:12.057 Mm-hmm. 00:03:12.612 --> 00:03:15.932 And so that- that's kind of how I initially started. 00:03:15.943 --> 00:03:31.673 It was more of an exit plan, but then realizing you know, what a great thing it was for other people to, to grow and and, and, you know, achieve their potentials and realize, you know, the things that they you know, the ideas that they have are great too, right? 00:03:32.823 --> 00:03:33.983 So yeah. 00:03:33.992 --> 00:03:36.122 So just to build up people and encourage them. 00:03:37.165 --> 00:03:42.846 You know, I was thinking about what it was like for all of us when we were growing up in the'60s and'70s, okay? 00:03:43.586 --> 00:03:46.915 know, sure, life was different, but people are the same, right? 00:03:47.306 --> 00:03:54.616 And so I was having a discussion with my husband earlier about this, and I said to him,"You know, Cindy and I were talking about mentoring. 00:03:54.626 --> 00:04:01.235 That's what we're gonna talk about tonight." And we talked about the people in our lives that might have mentored us when we were young. 00:04:02.096 --> 00:04:12.716 said to him, said,"Can you think of a time when somebody mentored you when you were young?" And he said,"Not really." I listed about seven or eight people that I could think of that 00:04:12.967 --> 00:04:13.697 Wow 00:04:13.765 --> 00:04:15.276 and he said to me,"You know something? 00:04:15.276 --> 00:04:16.786 I never thought of it that way. 00:04:17.146 --> 00:04:18.716 Yeah, they mentored me. 00:04:18.716 --> 00:04:29.115 They helped me to reach my potential, to find myself, to find my gifting so I could go on and..." You know, mentoring, yeah, but also encouraging, right? 00:04:29.475 --> 00:04:30.086 You know, 00:04:30.115 --> 00:04:30.555 mm-hmm. 00:04:30.894 --> 00:04:32.105 we find ourselves... 00:04:32.464 --> 00:04:37.295 But he was surprised that he had people in his li- He never thought of it that way. 00:04:37.985 --> 00:04:41.264 You know how sometimes men don't always think things through. 00:04:41.274 --> 00:04:44.485 Well, he didn't think that one through, and he said,"You know, it's true. 00:04:44.535 --> 00:04:54.045 I can still think of things that I do today those people encouraged me in my giftings and my, you know, potential," like as you say, you know? 00:04:54.345 --> 00:04:57.685 And now we find ourselves doing it with our grandchildren. 00:04:57.954 --> 00:05:00.754 We did it with our children, and now we're doing it with our grandchildren. 00:05:01.165 --> 00:05:08.004 Can you give me some examples of what it's like to encourage your grandchildren in today's society? 00:05:08.055 --> 00:05:10.975 What are some of the things that you do, and how do they respond? 00:05:10.985 --> 00:05:12.165 Do they listen to you? 00:05:12.415 --> 00:05:12.725 Do they... 00:05:12.754 --> 00:05:13.795 Are they teachable? 00:05:14.055 --> 00:05:18.745 You know,'cause that's an important point, too, is when people can be teachable, you know? 00:05:18.745 --> 00:05:19.134 And 00:05:19.185 --> 00:05:19.625 Yeah 00:05:19.646 --> 00:05:23.466 I've tried to talk to people who were like,"Forget it. 00:05:23.466 --> 00:05:28.745 I'm not doing it." And so you don't wanna, you don't wanna spend your time, you know? 00:05:30.565 --> 00:05:32.475 I'm like,"Okay, they don't wanna be mentored. 00:05:32.475 --> 00:05:33.896 Move on to the next one," you know? 00:05:36.425 --> 00:05:46.944 To get past their own fear or insecurity and, and, and it, and just be okay with trying something new, you know? 00:05:47.524 --> 00:05:54.884 But I was just thinking about when you were talking that everything that we have learned has come from somewhere, right? 00:05:55.346 --> 00:05:55.596 That's 00:05:55.795 --> 00:06:01.415 it's an example that we were shown you know, something that was verbally taught or whatever. 00:06:01.415 --> 00:06:04.644 And so in, in a way, that's also mentoring, right? 00:06:05.064 --> 00:06:06.665 You know, you're giving other people 00:06:07.136 --> 00:06:07.355 Role 00:06:07.615 --> 00:06:08.535 the role models to... 00:06:08.644 --> 00:06:08.975 Yeah. 00:06:09.295 --> 00:06:09.824 Mm-hmm. 00:06:09.925 --> 00:06:10.444 Yeah. 00:06:10.444 --> 00:06:12.144 So they're giving you those skills. 00:06:12.495 --> 00:06:15.485 They're helping you to kinda stretch yourself a little bit. 00:06:15.954 --> 00:06:19.935 And you kinda learn to start putting yourself out there more. 00:06:20.564 --> 00:06:24.305 Yeah, just, just learning, learning by, you know, trial and error, right? 00:06:24.682 --> 00:06:25.012 Yeah. 00:06:25.331 --> 00:06:25.432 Do 00:06:25.435 --> 00:06:27.175 So with my, with, with my 00:06:28.221 --> 00:06:28.742 I'm sorry. 00:06:29.336 --> 00:06:29.666 Go ahead 00:06:29.771 --> 00:06:36.081 find yourself doing some things today that somebody encouraged you to do when you were younger you're still doing today? 00:06:36.172 --> 00:06:36.831 'Cause I do 00:06:37.831 --> 00:06:57.601 I think just the way that, I mean, I mean the just, you know, baking or you know, I mean, things that we enjoy to do, you know, canning or horses or, you know, I mean, interests that I have, you know, were stemmed from a young age and I still enjoy and try to make time for those things as well. 00:06:58.351 --> 00:06:59.961 So, and that's something that 00:07:01.509 --> 00:07:03.749 you enjoyed horseback riding, for example. 00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:09.899 Did somebody

teach you that, or is that something you just kind of developed on your own in terms of interests? 00:07:12.206 --> 00:07:27.125 Yeah, I had a neighbor that lived behind us and, and that was, you know, that was a big, big thing for me to be able to go and do that because my mom has asthma extremely bad, and horses is one of the worst allergies that she has. 00:07:27.136 --> 00:07:31.665 So there were some real strict guidelines of, you know, what I needed to do after I rode. 00:07:32.156 --> 00:07:36.946 You know, I had to put my laundry in the, you know, put, put it in the washing machine, jump in the shower. 00:07:36.946 --> 00:07:40.016 I mean, I, you know, it was a whole regiment that I had to do. 00:07:40.295 --> 00:07:49.225 But my neighbor had the horses, and then when I was able to get a horse later and board it at her place, and so she mentored me. 00:07:49.315 --> 00:07:55.545 So sh- you know, she helped-- I helped her break horses and breed horses and and I got involved with 4-H. 00:07:55.605 --> 00:07:57.665 So then again, mentors. 00:07:58.084 --> 00:07:58.375 Yep. 00:07:58.675 --> 00:07:59.016 Right. 00:07:59.355 --> 00:08:00.005 Mm-hmm. 00:08:00.214 --> 00:08:00.485 That was 00:08:00.596 --> 00:08:02.185 So those people mentored me. 00:08:02.886 --> 00:08:03.536 Mm-hmm. 00:08:03.925 --> 00:08:04.495 Yeah. 00:08:04.675 --> 00:08:05.086 Yeah. 00:08:05.096 --> 00:08:37.466 So, you know, as I you know, raised my kids and all that, you know, of course, tried to be a good example and try to teach them things along the way and all that and, and now I'm doing that with my grandkids and getting them involved in activities that I'm involved with, which, you know, I got, I got the opportunity to get back into horses, so, and got connected with Backcountry Horsemen and then ended up in, you know, leadership roles with some of that, started a junior program with our local chapter. 00:08:37.905 --> 00:08:42.635 And so then, of course, I got as many as my grandchildren involved as possible. 00:08:42.946 --> 00:08:57.725 And, you know, we would have lessons and special speakers and all that, and so just mentoring the, and the, you know, them with all that, learning about horses and riding and going out on the trails and going camping and, and yeah. 00:08:57.725 --> 00:09:08.926 So for the most part, I, you know, they-- because I was kind of in not just the grandma role, I was in you know, a leadership role with Backcountry Horsemen. 00:09:09.414 --> 00:09:09.815 Right 00:09:09.836 --> 00:09:14.416 think maybe, maybe they received it a little better as well that way too. 00:09:14.859 --> 00:09:15.278 Mm-hmm 00:09:15.306 --> 00:09:17.855 started them at a pretty young age, so... 00:09:18.164 --> 00:09:18.955 Which helps, 00:09:19.056 --> 00:09:31.775 And, yeah, and I'm pretty straightforward with them, and I try my best to communicate as best as possible that I can to help them to educate and learn, right? 00:09:33.931 --> 00:09:39.941 Yeah, one of

the things that I remember my mother emphasizing a lot was making right choices. 00:09:40.331 --> 00:09:47.390 You know, she wanted us to be really mindful of how we spent our time, and she would role model that for us. 00:09:47.630 --> 00:09:51.571 If she said,"You need to work hard," she was working hard. 00:09:52.030 --> 00:09:56.321 If she said,"We wanna go be social with other people," she was 00:09:56.437 --> 00:09:56.447 嗯。 00:09:57.591 --> 00:10:03.360 If she said to m- to us,"It's really important to be with family," she was getting us together with family. 00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:07.160 So she acted out everything that she was trying to teach us. 00:10:07.350 --> 00:10:14.801 In other words, it wasn't, you know, do as I say, not as I do, which happens with a lot of people, and that can be confusing, don't you think? 00:10:15.551 --> 00:10:15.980 She... 00:10:16.890 --> 00:10:17.331 Yeah. 00:10:17.561 --> 00:10:28.221 And so I find, what I'm leading up to, is I find because she, you know, acted out what she was, you know, talking about and not just saying, you know, do as I do, and then she doesn't do it. 00:10:28.691 --> 00:10:31.421 Because she did it, she actually showed me how to do 00:10:31.655 --> 00:10:32.086 Mm-hmm. 00:10:32.671 --> 00:10:33.110 you know? 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:33.770 She showed me 00:10:33.926 --> 00:10:34.385 Yeah 00:10:34.831 --> 00:10:37.760 Get with people and have a good time, even when things were hard. 00:10:38.221 --> 00:10:41.610 You know, she was like,"I know things are hard," and I mentioned this in another podcast. 00:10:41.900 --> 00:10:52.120 My mother would say to me, you know,"Acknowledge how you feel, know, take a few minutes, whatever you need to do, but move on from it very quickly and enjoy what you have in between. 00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:54.671 Enjoy life'cause it's short," you know? 00:10:54.921 --> 00:11:00.750 And she did that, and so I understood what she was saying'cause I watched her do it, and she was my role model. 00:11:01.520 --> 00:11:02.510 she was just one 00:11:02.620 --> 00:11:02.940 Mm-hmm. 00:11:03.130 --> 00:11:09.211 had, I had other women, aunts, you know, older women who were very good at teaching me, and I was teachable. 00:11:09.671 --> 00:11:11.691 I always wanted to m- to do the right thing. 00:11:12.181 --> 00:11:16.551 And so, I had a lot of what I call mentors, you know? 00:11:16.571 --> 00:11:16.880 What is... 00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:19.551 To you, what is the meaning of the term mentor? 00:11:19.551 --> 00:11:20.971 What does that mean, Cindy? 00:11:21.240 --> 00:11:22.900 Because it's used an awful lot, but I don't think- 00:11:22.998 --> 00:11:26.638 And I was just, I was just, I was just thinking about what you were saying. 00:11:26.638 --> 00:11:28.357 I'm thinking you were teachable. 00:11:28.357 --> 00:11:32.557 I can think of times when I was growing up that I don't, I don't think I was very teachable. 00:11:32.607 --> 00:11:34.807 I was pretty rebellious at times. 00:11:35.119 --> 00:11:35.479 Yeah. 00:11:36.378 --> 00:11:43.957 So had to live a little bit of, you know, life of hard knocks, you know, before I got to the point where I was a little more teachable 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:45.660 Well, you know what? 00:11:45.691 --> 00:11:48.791 That's because everybody's personality is different. 00:11:49.010 --> 00:11:57.081 I think some of the reason I was so teachable is because I had that a- appendicitis when I was young, and I was trying to find my way. 00:11:57.441 --> 00:12:01.650 You know, what was it like as a very sick person at such a young age? 00:12:01.681 --> 00:12:02.451 Where do I go? 00:12:02.451 --> 00:12:03.020 What do I do? 00:12:03.160 --> 00:12:05.081 I was always looking for those mentors. 00:12:05.370 --> 00:12:08.301 Had that not happened to me, things might have been different. 00:12:08.721 --> 00:12:12.941 But everybody's personality is different, and you found your way. 00:12:13.020 --> 00:12:27.061 You know, whether you were teachable or not, you'd still, from what you've shared with me and in the time I've known you, have made right choices, and you are now teaching your grandchildren to make those right choices because right choices bring good consequences. 00:12:27.510 --> 00:12:28.030 Bad 00:12:28.048 --> 00:12:28.467 Yeah. 00:12:28.770 --> 00:12:33.870 bring bad consequences, and that's what's missing in today's society with a lot of people. 00:12:34.191 --> 00:12:37.211 The tea- the kids are not being taught consequences. 00:12:37.701 --> 00:12:39.451 Good consequences, bad consequences. 00:12:39.451 --> 00:12:40.150 That's what I think. 00:12:40.150 --> 00:12:40.750 What do you think? 00:12:41.750 --> 00:12:43.030 Yeah, it depends on the parents, I guess. 00:12:43.495 --> 00:12:44.046 Yeah. 00:12:44.255 --> 00:12:44.625 Yeah, 00:12:44.870 --> 00:12:46.510 But yeah, I mean, I definitely... 00:12:46.600 --> 00:12:50.990 and they say that we as humans, we need to go through stuff, you know, I mean, to, to learn. 00:12:51.181 --> 00:12:52.051 And, you know, we have to, 00:12:52.183 --> 00:12:52.464 you can't 00:12:52.591 --> 00:12:53.691 we have to make, make... 00:12:55.091 --> 00:13:08.660 I remember asking my daughter one time, I said,"You know, how many times do you wanna bang your head against the wall?" And she's like,"10." She goes,"10." I'm like,"Okay." You know, and I had to do that too. 00:13:08.660 --> 00:13:21.041 I mean, I, I was making bad decisions, you know, for many years and, and, you know, kinda had to work through that, figure out really who I was and what was important and yeah. 00:13:21.081 --> 00:13:24.990 W- It's, yeah, trial and error. 00:13:25.548 --> 00:13:28.518 Everybody's so different, and everybody learns differently, 00:13:29.739 --> 00:13:29.918 Mm-hmm. 00:13:30.028 --> 00:13:33.677 talked about that before in previous, you know, podcasts that we've done. 00:13:33.847 --> 00:13:35.817 Everybody's so different, you know? 00:13:36.325 -->

00:13:36.894 Yeah 00:13:37.077 --> 00:13:40.177 learns one way, another person learns another way. 00:13:40.177 --> 00:13:43.847 Some people can learn in two instances, hearing it twice. 00:13:44.148 --> 00:13:44.368 Other 00:13:44.623 --> 00:13:44.903 Hmm 00:13:45.248 --> 00:13:48.597 or eight times of hearing it, and then they get it, know? 00:13:48.937 --> 00:13:50.067 I think it's called we're human. 00:13:51.077 --> 00:13:51.798 What do you think? 00:13:52.643 --> 00:13:52.982 Yeah. 00:13:53.452 --> 00:13:54.072 Yeah. 00:13:54.202 --> 00:13:54.682 Yeah. 00:13:55.682 --> 00:13:56.623 So, you know, 00:13:57.548 --> 00:14:04.197 I have really enjoyed, and I've really enjoyed being able to teach other people, being able to empower them 00:14:04.562 --> 00:14:04.962 Yeah 00:14:05.498 --> 00:14:10.268 you know, you know, feel good about what they can achieve. 00:14:10.547 --> 00:14:10.677 Mm-hmm. 00:14:10.908 --> 00:14:19.607 My granddaughter and I just competed at the fair in some of the western gaming for the first time, and she, she just... 00:14:20.067 --> 00:14:22.118 Yeah, and it didn't start off well. 00:14:22.248 --> 00:14:23.498 It didn't start off well. 00:14:23.498 --> 00:14:34.988 I brought two horses, and one of them was-- I mean, he was herd bound, and we took the one horse away from him, and he just screamed and screamed and screamed, and then she was screaming and screaming and screaming. 00:14:34.988 --> 00:14:40.618 And they're just beside themselves, and had to separate them, and eventually they settled down. 00:14:40.618 --> 00:14:45.107 But the first class that my granddaughter had to get into didn't go great. 00:14:45.337 --> 00:14:53.857 You know, she was fighting the horse'cause the horse was worried about the other horse, and, you know, she kinda had to take a break for a little bit. 00:14:53.868 --> 00:14:57.227 You know, we had to talk to her and just say,"You know, it's all okay. 00:14:57.258 --> 00:14:57.768 It's all okay. 00:14:57.768 --> 00:15:08.577 If, if you want to wait and see if the horse settles down and, and, you know, maybe get into some of the additional classes that were gonna happen that day, you know, just let us know. 00:15:08.577 --> 00:15:13.057 I mean, whatever you decide is fine." And she did. 00:15:13.067 --> 00:15:18.967 She, she skipped one class, but then she did, I think, three more classes after that, and they all went... 00:15:19.248 --> 00:15:21.918 She did fantastic, and the horse did fantastic. 00:15:22.267 --> 00:15:22.407 I'm 00:15:22.488 --> 00:15:40.357 And so, but yeah, she pushed through and she persevered and, and, and a lot of it was, you know, prep- preparation and practice and, and, and just being teachable, you know, and then being willing to push, push yourself, push yourself through it. 00:15:40.628 --> 00:15:47.587 And sometimes we have to push ourselves through things to really see what we enjoy to do. 00:15:47.837 --> 00:15:48.278 I mean, 00:15:48.575 --> 00:15:48.934 Yeah

00:15:49.057 --> 00:15:55.567 or what, what our skills and gifts and talents and strengths are. 00:15:55.927 --> 00:16:06.048 I mean, sometimes we have to fight against maybe, you know you know, whether we feel, you know, secure or whether we feel confident. 00:16:06.477 --> 00:16:12.798 And, and sometimes just jumping in and getting getting involved in something you gain that. 00:16:12.907 --> 00:16:13.287 you. 00:16:13.576 --> 00:16:15.086 It stretches you, you know? 00:16:15.787 --> 00:16:19.027 Sometimes getting involved in things isn't that easy. 00:16:19.027 --> 00:16:23.466 We have to s- you know, push and stretch ourselves, and then we find that it works out. 00:16:39.485 --> 00:16:43.355 Here you are talking about all this horse stuff, and it's bringing back memories for me. 00:16:43.706 --> 00:16:48.206 I was involved in 4H when I was young, and I did a lot with horses. 00:16:48.206 --> 00:16:50.735 And, you know, here we are talking about mentoring. 00:16:50.946 --> 00:16:57.775 I can remember getting on some of these horses at the camp that I went to, and I couldn't figure out why the horse wouldn't always listen to me. 00:16:58.196 --> 00:16:59.446 I was like,"I'm the boss. 00:16:59.586 --> 00:17:02.115 You're gonna do what I say," and then the horse would throw me or something. 00:17:02.285 --> 00:17:07.355 I got thrown so many times thinking that horse was just gonna listen to me, you know? 00:17:07.496 --> 00:17:09.215 I'm the boss, you know? 00:17:09.215 --> 00:17:09.976 And he didn't care. 00:17:09.976 --> 00:17:10.415 And they... 00:17:10.425 --> 00:17:15.365 It's oftentimes because the horses were used so much at the camp, they had a very hard bit. 00:17:15.526 --> 00:17:16.665 Do you know what I'm talking about? 00:17:16.875 --> 00:17:20.256 So when you would put the bridle on, they didn't always... 00:17:20.286 --> 00:17:24.476 'cause their mouth was so calloused, they didn't always feel you pulling back. 00:17:24.945 --> 00:17:34.596 I had times where I would go on a night ride they called it, which was a free ride from the camp all the way to a candy store across, you know, cranberry bogs. 00:17:34.596 --> 00:17:35.256 It was fun. 00:17:36.036 --> 00:17:41.076 I had this pinto, and he was mine for the summer, and I was responsible for him. 00:17:41.415 --> 00:17:43.986 And I re- we, I remember we stopped at the candy store. 00:17:44.455 --> 00:17:48.546 And and I love to ride horses, but they don't always cooperate, right? 00:17:48.875 --> 00:17:49.546 So listen to what 00:17:49.702 --> 00:17:49.712 Mm-hmm. 00:17:49.962 --> 00:17:50.383 Mm-hmm 00:17:50.445 --> 00:17:52.276 So I'm trying to get on the side of the horse. 00:17:52.276 --> 00:17:55.865 I got a bag of candy, and the other riders have gone ahead of me. 00:17:56.165 --> 00:17:58.185 I was just a little slow getting on the horse. 00:17:58.695 --> 00:18:02.586 And all of a sudden that darn pinto, his name was Cape Cod. 00:18:03.016 --> 00:18:04.435 W- we, we were on Cape Cod. 00:18:04.816 --> 00:18:09.415 And he took off at a full run with me hanging on the side of the saddle. 00:18:10.125 --> 00:18:13.586 And here comes a tree, and I had a choice. 00:18:13.586 --> 00:18:17.625 I was either gonna get hit by the tree and get killed, or I just jump off. 00:18:17.635 --> 00:18:18.875 It was like an old Western. 00:18:19.096 --> 00:18:20.076 I jumped off, 00:18:20.211 --> 00:18:21.691 Was it a Shetland pony? 00:18:22.425 --> 00:18:22.635 No. 00:18:22.935 --> 00:18:23.256 Huh? 00:18:24.175 --> 00:18:24.736 What's that? 00:18:25.669 --> 00:18:26.828 Is it a Shetland pony? 00:18:27.107 --> 00:18:27.397 No, it's 00:18:27.398 --> 00:18:28.818 They're known for doing that. 00:18:28.978 --> 00:18:29.478 No, this is 00:18:29.528 --> 00:18:31.788 Oh, it-- Well, the co- Yeah, okay. 00:18:32.134 --> 00:18:33.794 It was a smaller horse anyway. 00:18:33.794 --> 00:18:34.403 A pinto was a 00:18:34.659 --> 00:18:34.848 Okay 00:18:35.804 --> 00:18:43.693 And so, the, the other riders are way ahead of me, and all of a sudden they see, you know, his name was Cape Cod is running right by them with no rider on it. 00:18:44.173 --> 00:18:52.193 And they're thinking what i- where's Iris?" they found me laying in the cranberry bogs thrown from the horse. 00:18:52.953 --> 00:18:54.364 you know, back 00:18:54.555 --> 00:18:56.144 And what was the lesson learned? 00:18:56.693 --> 00:18:57.824 well, I'm getting to that. 00:18:57.864 --> 00:18:59.023 So back then, 00:18:59.184 --> 00:18:59.355 Okay. 00:18:59.763 --> 00:19:03.743 th- I remember loving horseback riding. 00:19:03.743 --> 00:19:06.604 I loved it so much, but I got thrown a lot. 00:19:06.874 --> 00:19:08.074 And it was because I kept 00:19:08.345 --> 00:19:08.654 Oh 00:19:08.763 --> 00:19:10.443 was just gonna listen to me, and they didn't. 00:19:10.453 --> 00:19:11.544 They had a mind of their own. 00:19:11.773 --> 00:19:18.804 I had to learn to control him, and I learned that because I had an instructor who was very good at teaching us and 00:19:19.141 --> 00:19:19.651 Awesome 00:19:19.804 --> 00:19:24.104 as to how to control the horse so the horse doesn't kill you, you know? 00:19:26.034 --> 00:19:28.084 But I had a lot of lessons that were like that. 00:19:28.084 --> 00:19:29.334 I f- I was thrown a lot. 00:19:30.034 --> 00:19:36.034 And I'll tell you what, I've got the you know, scar tissue in my, my, my joints and my neck t- sh- to prove it, you know? 00:19:36.804 --> 00:19:37.683 Didn't you say that you 00:19:37.765 --> 00:19:38.035 Yeah. 00:19:38.065 --> 00:19:39.065 I mean, sometimes 00:19:39.814 --> 00:19:41.513 D- didn't you say you have a lot of injury too from 00:19:41.520 --> 00:19:41.540 Yeah. 00:19:42.671 --> 00:19:43.191 Yeah. 00:19:43.520 --> 00:19:43.980 Yeah. 00:19:44.371 --> 00:19:47.330 Sometimes you have to take the reins in life, right? 00:19:47.521 --> 00:19:47.912 Yeah. 00:19:48.090 --> 00:19:51.550 You know, you gotta take the reins and take

control of the situation. 00:19:51.778 --> 00:19:52.258 Yeah. 00:19:52.617 --> 00:19:58.008 No, but anyway I learned that and I finally got to the place where I realized I had to control the horse. 00:19:58.008 --> 00:19:59.298 I had to be the boss. 00:19:59.778 --> 00:20:02.577 And I learned that from a mentor. 00:20:02.867 --> 00:20:05.048 My instructor was a very patient. 00:20:05.057 --> 00:20:06.198 She was very kind. 00:20:06.548 --> 00:20:12.758 She took her time to really teach all of us how to ride correctly so that we're not, you know, getting hurt. 00:20:12.758 --> 00:20:15.857 'Cause, you know, horseback riding can be dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. 00:20:16.133 --> 00:20:16.242 Hmm. 00:20:16.528 --> 00:20:17.647 You know, it's a learned, 00:20:17.942 --> 00:20:24.682 Well, and you were, you, you were willing, you were willing to continue to try 00:20:25.269 --> 00:20:25.769 Oh yeah. 00:20:27.464 --> 00:20:27.765 Yeah. 00:20:27.980 --> 00:20:28.390 afraid of 00:20:28.515 --> 00:20:29.585 And I think it, I think... 00:20:30.579 --> 00:20:30.950 you know? 00:20:31.424 --> 00:20:31.894 Yeah. 00:20:32.075 --> 00:20:34.825 But I think in life that's what we have to keep doing. 00:20:34.974 --> 00:20:41.654 We have to be willing to try, and because every day there's gonna be a new challenge, right? 00:20:41.688 --> 00:20:52.647 my instructor said to me, I remember she said,"Get right back on the horse, because if you don't, you'll never get on again." She said,"Just get right back on and ride back with us." You know, she brought the horse back to me. 00:20:52.928 --> 00:20:55.238 And I was pretty injured, you know? 00:20:55.238 --> 00:21:04.178 I remember my pelvis was sore and I, you know, I just, I rolled down, it was like an old Western, I rolled down a whole embankment, you know, into a water bog. 00:21:06.847 --> 00:21:12.667 But it taught me to be very strong and to keep trying, like you said, not give up, you know? 00:21:12.667 --> 00:21:15.597 'Cause the moment we give up, we don't progress, correct? 00:21:17.148 --> 00:21:17.598 Mm-hmm. 00:21:18.056 --> 00:21:18.546 Yeah. 00:21:18.976 --> 00:21:20.945 So I had a question. 00:21:22.096 --> 00:21:29.996 the midst of us, you know, mentoring other people, if we mentor o- other people ourselves, how does it benefit us? 00:21:30.006 --> 00:21:31.105 You know, what can we be... 00:21:31.185 --> 00:21:36.256 What can be gained for us as we're mentoring and helping other people to reach their potential? 00:21:37.425 --> 00:21:40.125 You know, what have you found with yourself, you know? 00:21:42.755 --> 00:21:47.285 Well, and like I was saying before, number one, it helps frees you up not to have to do it anymore. 00:21:47.335 --> 00:21:47.545 No 00:21:47.571 --> 00:21:47.872 Mm-hmm. 00:21:49.561 --> 00:21:49.922 Well, that's 00:21:50.134 --> 00:21:50.575 But 00:21:51.721 --> 00:21:52.031 Big 00:21:52.204 --> 00:21:52.865 that's what they say 00:21:52.872 --> 00:21:53.662 perk, Cindy. 00:21:54.662 --> 00:22:06.781 But like I said, I, I just like to see people being able to discover and to stretch themselves and, and to see what their what their ideas can do and, and to feel... 00:22:06.811 --> 00:22:14.912 You know, really, as humans, I think we need a purpose in life, and, and it could be many, ma-many, many purposes, right? 00:22:15.332 --> 00:22:25.231 But it really helps us to really have that s-sense of pride and acco- you know, in our accomplishments and dignity. 00:22:25.511 --> 00:22:29.142 And you can feel good about being a part of something, right? 00:22:29.676 --> 00:22:30.037 Mm-hmm 00:22:30.842 --> 00:22:41.092 and so, I mean, that's what I, I like about, you know, helping people to just grow to, you know, help to grow them in, in some of their potential. 00:22:41.673 --> 00:22:42.063 Yeah 00:22:42.071 --> 00:22:55.451 And, and, you know, allow them, you know, kinda be able to step back a little bit and allow them to use their own creativity and their own ideas and, and, and just kinda be a support behind them. 00:22:56.172 --> 00:23:04.422 And so that's what's helped me through it is, you know, like I said, being able to kinda let go of some of that and actually just be a support 00:23:04.840 --> 00:23:04.851 Mm-hmm. 00:23:05.231 --> 00:23:08.662 and an encourager instead of a controller. 00:23:09.711 --> 00:23:10.340 Oh yes. 00:23:10.521 --> 00:23:12.432 I mean, that's how it's helped me and yeah. 00:23:13.641 --> 00:23:18.161 Now, what I've noticed, and I mentioned this in the beginning, you wear a lot of hats in terms of mentoring. 00:23:18.661 --> 00:23:25.300 You have mentored, you know, your mother as an older person recently, okay, who's aging, all right? 00:23:25.540 --> 00:23:27.391 You're mentoring a disabled daughter. 00:23:27.570 --> 00:23:29.421 You're mentoring grandchildren. 00:23:29.891 --> 00:23:36.111 How do you shift in terms of encouraging them to reach their potential in each and every situation? 00:23:36.461 --> 00:23:38.211 I'm sure it's not something you really think about. 00:23:38.211 --> 00:23:39.540 It's probably something you just do. 00:23:39.980 --> 00:23:45.290 But how does it differ from an aging parent to a disabled child to the grandchildren? 00:23:45.300 --> 00:23:50.191 How do you find it to differ between those three different places where you're mentoring? 00:23:50.361 --> 00:23:53.181 And not to mention, you do it with other adults, you know? 00:23:54.891 --> 00:23:55.421 Excuse me. 00:23:56.397 --> 00:24:06.607 Well I, you know, of course, I, I'm a s- I'm a sister, I'm a daughter, I'm a wife, I'm a mom, I'm... 00:24:06.617 --> 00:24:07.657 Yeah, all those. 00:24:07.667 --> 00:24:09.587 Nieces, granddaughter, all that kind of stuff. 00:24:09.607 --> 00:24:16.557 But I'm also a caregiver, and so I think I have that kind of a personality anyway. 00:24:16.597 --> 00:24:18.637 I really like to be helpful, 00:24:19.313 --> 00:24:19.893 Yes 00:24:20.377 -->

00:24:34.577 because I think of my many years of being a caregiver it has helped me to be able to evaluate situations and kind of see people for where, you know, who they are and where they're at. 00:24:35.820 --> 00:24:36.201 Right. 00:24:36.337 --> 00:24:51.657 so that's another aspect when you're, when you're going into things, you know, you gotta kinda look at the situation and look at the people that you're dealing with and and then be able to navigate, you know, decisions based on what the need is. 00:24:51.780 --> 00:24:51.790 Mm-hmm. 00:24:52.817 --> 00:25:01.417 And so that's, that's what I do, I guess, is evaluate, you know, what am I dealing with at that moment? 00:25:01.417 --> 00:25:04.097 Who am I dealing with, and how am I going to deal with it? 00:25:05.188 --> 00:25:11.738 You know, and just kinda calm myself to, you know, just to kind of be patient 00:25:12.404 --> 00:25:12.795 Yeah 00:25:12.847 --> 00:25:13.688 process. 00:25:13.758 --> 00:25:16.347 Be patient, you know, just because 00:25:16.737 --> 00:25:17.457 as they go and 00:25:17.478 --> 00:25:18.337 everybody's 00:25:18.676 --> 00:25:19.037 Yeah. 00:25:19.807 --> 00:25:20.208 right? 00:25:20.228 --> 00:25:21.377 Everybody's different 00:25:22.196 --> 00:25:22.576 Mm-hmm. 00:25:23.307 --> 00:25:23.777 Yeah 00:25:24.001 --> 00:25:34.132 and I'm-- I guess I would consider myself a, a glass half full kind of person instead of one that a glass you know, half empty, if you've ever heard that phrase before. 00:25:34.601 --> 00:25:34.861 Yep 00:25:35.602 --> 00:25:36.412 So it's more... 00:25:36.442 --> 00:25:43.471 I see it as more of a I look at more on it as a positive side than a negative side, you know. 00:25:44.679 --> 00:25:44.959 That's 00:25:45.051 --> 00:25:46.961 That's the way I would approach something 00:25:47.449 --> 00:25:49.618 Yeah, Cindy, that's something you and I have in common. 00:25:49.618 --> 00:25:52.979 We both look at the glass half full and see what we can do and 00:25:53.104 --> 00:25:53.294 Mm-hmm. 00:25:53.489 --> 00:25:55.798 goodness can come out of it, rather than the negativity. 00:25:56.288 --> 00:25:58.588 That's what drew us together, I think, as friends. 00:25:58.919 --> 00:25:59.249 You know? 00:25:59.249 --> 00:26:03.249 We're laughing a lot and, you know, even when things become tough, we're still laughing. 00:26:03.598 --> 00:26:03.949 You know? 00:26:04.128 --> 00:26:05.318 It's like,"Oh, I'm exhausted. 00:26:05.460 --> 00:26:08.380 Mm-hmm. 00:26:08.578 --> 00:26:09.128 hard day. 00:26:09.128 --> 00:26:10.058 Let's laugh," you know? 00:26:10.409 --> 00:26:10.608 Do... 00:26:11.939 --> 00:26:13.229 You know, it's like, what can come out of that? 00:26:13.229 --> 00:26:22.239 But anyway, I remember, know, our friend Laura, when we had dinner together with Laura and her niece and your husband and my husband, which we do once a month. 00:26:22.509 --> 00:26:27.229 I remember Laura asking your husband, because you're so busy and you're so... 00:26:27.229 --> 00:26:29.699 And you are very good at being so diverse. 00:26:29.898 --> 00:26:33.818 I can only focus on two things at the same time maybe, you know? 00:26:34.328 --> 00:26:37.778 And you're, like, hands everywhere, and you d- you just do it. 00:26:37.919 --> 00:26:47.388 Well, anyway, so Laura said,"What ha- Does Cindy ever get tired?" And he goes,"Well, once she sits down, it's over." You fall asleep, 00:26:47.596 --> 00:26:52.465 if I stop moving, yeah, if I stop moving, that's it. 00:26:52.625 --> 00:26:53.266 I'm done. 00:26:54.134 --> 00:26:56.134 And that's where you inspire me. 00:26:56.194 --> 00:27:01.210 That's where you inspire me,'cause I don't have the same energy you do, but I think I can keep moving. 00:27:01.220 --> 00:27:01.809 I can do it. 00:27:03.529 --> 00:27:04.680 What would Cindy do? 00:27:07.045 --> 00:27:10.664 I'm the type of person, I don't necessarily like to, to put things off. 00:27:11.894 --> 00:27:19.255 So, you know, I make a plan of what I wanna take care of and, and then I try to take care of it as soon as I can take care of it. 00:27:19.835 --> 00:27:32.194 Because inevitably, at least the way I see it, is if I put it off, then some- something else got added to it or, or more than just one thing got added to it later. 00:27:32.624 --> 00:27:41.403 So I don't-- I'm the type of person that I don't like to feel overwhelmed, and so I like to be organized and I'm a doer. 00:27:41.824 --> 00:27:43.253 And so I, I try... 00:27:43.263 --> 00:27:46.374 I tend to do it, like, I'll put stuff on my calendar. 00:27:46.703 --> 00:28:07.114 You know, my-- I have a schedule book that I, you know, I put everything in, and I'll put things that I might do in three, three days from now, but I may already have taken care of it today just because I don't like to put things off because, like I said, you know, something else is gonna come up, and then I'm gonna feel overwhelmed. 00:28:08.233 --> 00:28:08.564 Yeah. 00:28:08.584 --> 00:28:09.743 Or feel stressed 00:28:10.315 --> 00:28:11.984 yeah, I'm exactly like that. 00:28:12.224 --> 00:28:13.214 It's like if it's there, 00:28:13.269 --> 00:28:13.680 Mm-hmm 00:28:13.775 --> 00:28:13.974 it. 00:28:14.255 --> 00:28:17.525 You know, why put off to tomorrow what can be done today, right? 00:28:18.555 --> 00:28:18.984 and I'm a 00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:19.609 Yeah 00:28:19.634 --> 00:28:21.805 have to plan so that we don't get overwhelmed. 00:28:21.805 --> 00:28:23.105 I understand, you know? 00:28:23.815 --> 00:28:28.204 But here we are talking about encouraging other people and coming alongside of them, 00:28:28.506 --> 00:28:28.605 I'm sure 00:28:28.704 --> 00:28:30.634 and you brought up a really good point. 00:28:30.984 --> 00:28:57.974 Instead of trying to make them like us and being kind of controlling to get them to do whatever it is we're trying to get them to do or come alongside of them, th- I have found that in the course of, you know, when I've been

working with people, which has been in different places, social services, whatever, I find that meeting them wh- where they're at, alongside of them, and letting them do it at their own pace is so incredibly helpful, rather than trying to 00:28:57.993 --> 00:28:58.003 Mm-hmm. 00:28:58.424 --> 00:29:01.355 them do it at your pace, your way. 00:29:01.694 --> 00:29:02.384 You know what I mean? 00:29:02.704 --> 00:29:06.454 When I have taught people, I just, I let them be who they are and meet them where they're at. 00:29:06.775 --> 00:29:07.605 Does that make sense? 00:29:08.471 --> 00:29:08.632 Mm-hmm. 00:29:10.231 --> 00:29:10.531 Yeah. 00:29:11.011 --> 00:29:11.422 Yeah. 00:29:11.471 --> 00:29:18.922 And yeah, give them the opportunity and, you know, if, if they need some assistance as they're learning, then you're there to be a support system. 00:29:19.431 --> 00:29:19.830 Right. 00:29:20.342 --> 00:29:20.701 yeah. 00:29:21.251 --> 00:29:21.852 Mm-hmm 00:29:22.030 --> 00:29:34.441 Well, you know, we're at our, you know, half hour here, but I just wanted to, you know, emphasize to our viewers one of the things that we're trying to talk about tonight is really always about encouraging people. 00:29:35.161 --> 00:29:35.280 know? 00:29:35.280 --> 00:29:42.601 And there's so many people today that need to how to do things and where to go and what to do and how to do things. 00:29:42.601 --> 00:29:51.431 And whether it's young people, even some older people can find themselves lost and trying to find, you know, a new niche, so to speak. 00:29:52.441 --> 00:30:01.641 and so I would encourage our viewers to look for those opportunities in other people, whether they're very young people or some of the elderly people that you meet. 00:30:01.901 --> 00:30:14.661 You know, how can you encourage them and come alongside of them to reach their potential in whatever it is that they're trying to do, or even to try to find what it is that they're supposed to be doing,'cause we all have a purpose, like Cindy said. 00:30:15.570 --> 00:30:15.891 And 00:30:16.104 --> 00:30:16.354 Yeah. 00:30:16.374 --> 00:30:18.284 And, and it- Mm-hmm. 00:30:18.473 --> 00:30:20.584 And to know that everybody is different. 00:30:21.124 --> 00:30:24.554 To know that everybody's different and, and that's okay. 00:30:25.203 --> 00:30:26.894 It's-- I mean, none of us are the same. 00:30:27.064 --> 00:30:29.693 I mean, everybody's different, so... 00:30:30.134 --> 00:30:31.284 And, and that's okay. 00:30:31.394 --> 00:30:36.564 And, and not any one idea is the ultimate only idea. 00:30:36.773 --> 00:30:39.104 So to be open to other people's ideas. 00:30:39.943 --> 00:30:40.384 Yeah. 00:30:42.113 --> 00:30:58.603 So like always, in all our podcasts, we're always trying to encourage people to reach out to other people because this podcast is based on a book that I wrote called Never Alone, and it's once again about the importance of friendship and family and sticking together. 00:30:58.603 --> 00:31:02.623 And mentoring is one way that we can stick together and help one 00:31:02.723 --> 00:31:02.953 Mm-hmm. 00:31:02.993 --> 00:31:03.743 Absolutely 00:31:04.282 --> 00:31:21.053 And appreciate it if you could, if you got, if you gain something from these podcasts that we do, if you could like and share and comment, because we would love to hear from you and your opinions and what you're experiencing when it comes to whatever the subject is that we're talking about. 00:31:21.073 --> 00:31:22.742 Tonight, like I said, it was mentorship. 00:31:23.192 --> 00:31:25.823 You know, give us some of your ideas of what you think it's about. 00:31:26.772 --> 00:31:30.163 also, if you could just drop us a line, you know? 00:31:30.633 --> 00:31:32.732 And we hope w- that you'll join us again. 00:31:32.742 --> 00:31:34.173 Thank you for joining us tonight. 00:31:34.583 --> 00:31:42.083 Cindy, thank you for joining me and talking with me again, and I always enjoy our conversations, whether we're on a podcast or not. 00:31:45.032 --> 00:31:45.583 Anyway, 00:31:45.751 --> 00:31:46.211 Me too 00:31:46.883 --> 00:31:47.353 yeah. 00:31:47.393 --> 00:31:48.633 So thank you again. 00:31:48.653 --> 00:31:53.363 And something else I was gonna say, but I can't remember what it was because I'm over 60. 00:31:54.363 --> 00:31:57.722 I guess I'll have to tell you in the next segment'cause it's not coming to me. 00:31:58.599 --> 00:31:59.720 Okay, there we go 00:32:00.573 --> 00:32:01.863 Okay, we'll see you next time. 00:32:01.863 --> 00:32:02.682 Thanks for coming. 00:32:03.073 --> 00:32:03.522 Bye-bye.