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WEBVTT
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Welcome to The Hanley Effect, a podcast by The
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Hanley Foundation, designed to educate, change
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minds, and save lives. Our goal is to inspire
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you, showcase our innovations, and change the
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conversation about addiction and mental health.
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Join us as we unravel stories of resilience,
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recovery, and hope. Hi, everybody, and welcome
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to The Hanley Effect. I'm John Dyben. I am Rachel
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Docekal. Dr. Rachel Docekal, how are you today?
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I'm good, Dr. D. How are you? I'm glad we're
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doing this again. Me too. I like hanging with
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you. We work together all the time, but it's
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always busy, busy, busy, and it's always taking
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care of patients and figuring out how to do things.
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So it's always cool to kind of sit here and just
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chat a little bit. This is our happy place. It
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is. It is. We love it. And today, extra happy
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with our guests. Because we have double, double
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your pleasure, double your fun. Is that right?
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Yes. Well, we have double the guests today. We
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have two guests today. And today, can I introduce
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them? Yes, please do. All right. Please do. I
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get to introduce you guys again. So today we
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have Mike. Rogers. And James Bartle. Now let's
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talk about Mike and James for a second. Okay.
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Different, very different people. Just thought
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about that for a second. I mean, we couldn't.
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I mean, so we have a businessman and we have
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a skateboard pro. So it couldn't be more different.
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Yet they're very, very, very much connected and
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both here to tell us stories about recovery,
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about their own recovery, but also about what
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it is to support others and recovery. So Mike
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and James, we want to say thank you guys and
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welcome. Thanks for having us. So we like to
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start by asking you to tell us a little bit about
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what you do, who you are, what you do, but also.
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your journey what brought you to doing what you
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do so i'll let you guys fight over who goes first
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but mike why don't you start sure um i grew up
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down here in um south florida i moved from um
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i was born in florida south carolina 1966 and
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then um i moved to lakewood florida 1968 69 um
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lakeworth uh lake worth and i lived right off
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10th avenue and um grew up there and then i graduated
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from lake worth high school in 1985 and we were
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right by the beach so when i was younger in high
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school we would go surf and skate down there
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at the beach um during lunch break so it was
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good um growing up here in south florida and
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then um The summer of 1998, June 26, I went to
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the Easy Does It and became sober. I've been
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27 years in June this year, 27 years sober. And
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being sober, you can accomplish many things.
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You know, with me and doing your 12 -step, 11
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-step is being a service. That's where me and
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James come in. We do this event to help people
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get on the journey of sobriety. And you can accomplish
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many things in your life with sobriety, you know.
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So that's kind of my story. And then I became
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a YMCA skate park director at one of the busiest
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skate parks in South Florida to this day. It
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was before the Internet. So once people were
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active. We were doing 90 kids every three hours.
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On a Saturday, we had 350 kids in there. Couldn't
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get some of them to leave. So I did that for
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eight years. And in 2003. I came back with my
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scarcoma. I'm a two -time scarcoma survivor.
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They're soft cancer tissues, super -duper rare,
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1 % of all cancers are scarcomas. They're super
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rare. A lot of doctors don't even know what they
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look at when they see them. So I'm a survivor
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of that, and I'm a survivor every day to some
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being a sobriety person. So, yeah, this is a
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great fit, the barbecue and James and all this
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stuff. So that's my... Little borrow there. And
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we're going to ask a little bit more specifically
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about that
Load full transcript
barbecue and what it is. And we want
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to talk about the foundation and what that event
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does. I didn't realize that you're so I was born
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and raised in Lake Worth, grew up here all my
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all my life, you know, was in Lake Worth High
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School until, you know, I didn't finish there,
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but but spent a year there. And you grew up around
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right around 10th Avenue and the half pipe down
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there where my brother would. skate and everybody,
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you know, and I would just be the dorky kid that
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wished he could. You were the cool kids. We had
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a 10th Avenue ditch right there. That's right.
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That was like there's a 10th Avenue ditch and
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then you had Skateboard Safari. It was built
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a little during that time, you know, in the late
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70s. We did have a skate park. It was Skateboard
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Safari. It was like Lake Auto Park. It was short
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lived because in insurance issues and in the
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airport kind of wanted that property back. So
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it kind of like kind of faded. Kind of quick.
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Yeah, it's Lake Worth. It's a really, really
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cool place if you actually spend a lot of time
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there. You mentioned something, though. So you've
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had this, survived this cancer twice. And the
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first time you were pretty young. Yeah, 10 years
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old to have a scar coma at 10. There was only
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six cases in the United States. Wow. I'm a survivor
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of that youth cancer. Was lucky enough that there
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was the Miami Children's Clinic back then. And
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down in Miami, we have the best eye institute
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for rare cancers or anybody who has a super gnarly,
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very hard to treat eye disease. We got the Baskin
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Palmer Eye Institute in Miami, best in the world.
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So I was lucky because I was only an hour and
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a half away. Wow. So I love that because it.
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And I guess what I because, you know, when I
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think of someone suffering that as an adult,
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that's tough. When I think about suffering that
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as a kid and I love hearing you talk when you
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say, you know, man, I'm so lucky. I'm so lucky.
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And I wonder how much of that. Has to do with
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the, the, those 20 something years of recovery,
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because it's, it would be easy to say I was a
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kid, an innocent kid, a Vic, you know, victim
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of this. And now I'm a victim of this. And yet
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you're, you're just saying how lucky you are.
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How much of that is, is related to all sobriety.
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It's all sobriety. So if I didn't have the 12
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step in my life, the second battle with all the
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home issues, all the broken family stuff, you
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know, that's where the Hanley thing is so good
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because it has all those programs for everybody.
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And there's a lot of broken people here down
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here in Palm Beach County. So to have the Hanley
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Foundation with all those programs, all the virtual
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stuff that you can do now, people can do it virtually.
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You guys are just crushing it. So, yeah, look
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at all the stuff that you guys accomplished over
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all these years with before we wouldn't talk
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about our sobriety. Right. We're going to talk
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about our mental illness. Now there's programs
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for people. You can come out easily about things,
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you know. So before you didn't have that. Before
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now you can come out with, if you have this disorder,
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like I was dyslexic, I never could spell it right.
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Now I can come out about it and say, yeah, I
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got it on my LinkedIn profile. So then people
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know how to treat that person with that disorder,
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you know. So alcoholism, you know, you got to
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have a 12 -step if you're from a broken home.
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And you got to really work it, you know. You
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just don't get sober and stay sober. You got
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to stay, want to stay sober. So that's where
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the barbecue comes in. And you guys, the handling,
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all of us, we're making a difference in people's
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lives because they can come out and feel comfortable
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about it, you know, and come and skate, barbecue.
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It's not all about the skating. It's about the
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sobriety, staying healthy, staying active, skateboarding,
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your community, your 12 -steppers that you can
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count on if you need them. You know, so all that
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stuff, you know, so I'll make barbecue and I'll
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eat barbecue. I'll let you do the skating because
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we do not want me doing that. But, but James,
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what, what is this? You know, I will, you know,
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we're, we're talking about this, this Bartle
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barbecue and hang. And can you talk to us a little
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bit about what is this? Where did it come from?
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What's the, the purpose of this event that you
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have? So Mike, Nephew Corey Bartle passed away
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from a fentanyl overdose at the age of 34. And
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I wanted to do something. I didn't know what.
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I was going to start a nonprofit. I was going
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to jump in here. I was going to try to do this,
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try to do that. And I work at the National Croquet
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Center where we have the Bartle Barbecue Hang
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every year. And one of our members said, you
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really need to talk to Hanley. And I did. And
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I had a wonderful conversation. And we turned
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it into an event. And it worked. I realized what
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Hanley was all about, that they cared as much.
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Exactly what I was trying to accomplish is to
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make people aware of. of what's happening around
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us. I'm the owner of Sandy James Fine Food and
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Productions. I have a big catering company. A
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great catering company. You're kind of a big
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deal, James. No, I'm not. You are to us. Yeah,
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you are. I work with a lot of people in food
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and beverage, and there's issues there. That's
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part of that industry, so I see a lot of it.
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With Corey, I saw it. We fought it for a long
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time. I saw the whole thing happening. And after
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he passed away, I really wanted to do something.
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And it worked out that we got Mike. Brian from
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Life, right? All of a sudden his name popped
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up. Certain people's names popped up and everybody
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kind of just said, yeah, let's do this and let's
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make this happen. And it did. And it worked.
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And we had fun. And we're going to do it again.
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And I think we're going to have more fun this
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year. We've got some different surprises for
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everybody this year that I think we're working
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on hard. that I think is going to make it a little
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bit more exciting. And what's the, where does
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the, what is the support, this event? The support
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actually comes from a lot of different people
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that, very surprisingly, a lot of people that,
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a lot of my clients. A lot of people that I'm
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in touch with. But then the community. I mean,
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people that, I mean, last year, the first year
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I kind of knew almost everybody. But last year
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I didn't know hardly anybody. It was so big.
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It was just a lot of different people with families
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and kids that I saw walking. Like, who were they?
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Who were they? Wow. And they actually came to
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have a fun day. And they did. And they left.
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That's amazing. They left with. Mike here brought
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all kinds of goodie bags for everybody. Yeah,
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we bring a lot of swag for everybody. It's kind
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of like we do a best trick contest on their level.
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So whoever wants to come and ride there, hold
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their hands. And we have helmets for people.
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We just want to give everybody the experience
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what it would be like to ride the half pipe.
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And the half pipe is really easy to ride. It's
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wood. So if you do fall, you're falling on wood.
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You're not falling on concrete. You know, it's
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really light skating. But we have some high caliber
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skaters that come out, though. draw attention
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to the families this variety event so families
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feel comfortable you know it's a real quick event
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where you can come and have some great food have
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a great experience and then you know people don't
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have all day for a long event so this is like
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the perfect length of an event what is it
like
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three hours we're doing this three hours yep
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it works really well it's like perfect it's like
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like a half an hour of demo. We got Alex Sargenti
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this year. He grew up here skating in Lake Worth.
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I coached him from the age of five until he was
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18, and then he didn't want to be coached anymore.
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He wanted to show everybody he could do it, and
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he's from Lake Worth here. We've never had a
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world champion skateboarder from South Florida,
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so we have Alex coming out this year. He's a
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two -time X Games gold medalist. Yes, he is.
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And a two -time global. Park champion. So he's,
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like, accomplished all his goals in his young
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20s. We were texting him while he was in the
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Olympics this year. It was kind of cool. Oh,
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wow. That's unreal. So I think it's going to
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be very exciting to have him here. So there are
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a couple things I love about this event. So,
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first of all, you really help kids of all, first
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of all, all ages, but really. There are some
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kids who have never skateboarded before that
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I see you put on the half pipe and you show them
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what to do all the way up to experts, all these
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different levels of competence. Yeah, that's
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the years of doing skateboard programs, you know,
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like. Having structured skateboarding doesn't
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fit with skateboarding, actually, with me. I'm
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the guy, the goody -two -shoes of skateboarding,
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so I kind of wear my pads. I treat it as respectful.
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Like, a skateboarder hurts you. It's very hard
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to skateboard. It's not easy. Put the helmet
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on. Put the helmet on. That's right. He was yelling
00:13:50.549 --> 00:13:52.309
at everybody, put the helmet on. And I do it
00:13:52.309 --> 00:13:54.610
always at a skate park. You know, I'm not out
00:13:54.610 --> 00:13:56.629
there street skating, breaking off myself. I'm
00:13:56.629 --> 00:13:59.529
doing it in a structured environment. And, like,
00:14:00.049 --> 00:14:03.259
a lot of competitions are at skate parks. You
00:14:03.259 --> 00:14:05.480
can approach skateboarding two ways. You can
00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:07.519
be the renegade or you can be the professional.
00:14:08.360 --> 00:14:11.379
Alex and a lot of guys from South Florida, like
00:14:11.379 --> 00:14:14.019
top -notch skaters in the world, are from South
00:14:14.019 --> 00:14:17.279
Florida now from the programs. Hanley has a good
00:14:17.279 --> 00:14:19.639
program, get you on a 12 -step, and then you
00:14:19.639 --> 00:14:22.080
get your mind, body, and spirit in order. And
00:14:22.080 --> 00:14:25.820
then you get your athleticism back. You get your
00:14:25.820 --> 00:14:28.159
wellness and your happiness going on your skateboard.
00:14:28.220 --> 00:14:31.720
So that's where the Hanley effect in skateboarding.
00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:34.440
It's a great combination with the barbecue, because
00:14:34.440 --> 00:14:36.240
then you have people out there that are just
00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:39.360
getting their sobriety, and they're skateboarding,
00:14:39.379 --> 00:14:42.460
and there's great food. James is out there rocking
00:14:42.460 --> 00:14:45.879
the food. Yeah, so you can't get a better event
00:14:45.879 --> 00:14:48.240
for that. And this year, I think we're going
00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:51.120
to pack it out. This is your dream. We grew it
00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:53.759
from learning each year, and now we found the
00:14:53.759 --> 00:14:56.940
formula. That's it. We found the formula. We
00:14:56.940 --> 00:15:02.039
found the formula. The partner with Hanley. Gramp
00:15:02.039 --> 00:15:04.799
and me with all the experience and you with all
00:15:04.799 --> 00:15:06.600
the experience with the food. And Hanley has
00:15:06.600 --> 00:15:08.559
been doing this forever, helping people get on
00:15:08.559 --> 00:15:11.799
the right path with the 12 -step. So Hanley,
00:15:11.940 --> 00:15:16.340
we have something really special called the Lifesaver
00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:20.120
Scholarship Fund. And every dollar that's raised
00:15:20.120 --> 00:15:24.519
for scholarships goes to help people in their
00:15:24.519 --> 00:15:27.360
treatment and in their aftercare find recovery.
00:15:28.719 --> 00:15:32.320
James, we didn't talk about this before. I hope
00:15:32.320 --> 00:15:35.759
you don't mind me telling our listeners. But
00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:40.340
not only does every penny raised at this event
00:15:40.340 --> 00:15:44.080
go to scholarships, but you cover all the costs.
00:15:44.299 --> 00:15:53.220
So this event. I mean, it's 100%. 100 % of every
00:15:53.220 --> 00:15:56.820
single penny goes back to help save lives. And
00:15:56.820 --> 00:16:02.059
you have saved lives in Corey's name. That's
00:16:02.059 --> 00:16:04.759
good. Can't get better than that, can it? Can't
00:16:04.759 --> 00:16:06.700
get better than that. That's what we call sobriety
00:16:06.700 --> 00:16:11.000
at its best, man. I also think that it's the
00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:13.879
help of the community that's coming together.
00:16:14.200 --> 00:16:19.149
I think that... What Hanley's doing, and you
00:16:19.149 -->
00:16:20.730
had just mentioned earlier when you were talking,
00:16:20.870 --> 00:16:24.950
Mike, that Hanley is making mental illness not
00:16:24.950 --> 00:16:28.610
a bad thing. Right. Because it used to be, not
00:16:28.610 --> 00:16:31.769
that long ago. Right. And it's still a struggle.
00:16:31.889 --> 00:16:34.789
It's still a huge struggle, but people are talking
00:16:34.789 --> 00:16:39.019
about it. And again, I bring up my... My employees,
00:16:39.080 --> 00:16:41.500
I have a lot of them, and they have struggles,
00:16:41.539 --> 00:16:44.659
and you can see them. But it's making everybody
00:16:44.659 --> 00:16:47.860
more aware that, okay, there's an issue here
00:16:47.860 --> 00:16:53.159
that we have to deal with versus shunning them
00:16:53.159 --> 00:16:56.019
or all of a sudden treating them differently.
00:16:56.200 --> 00:16:59.720
It's like, wait a second, what's wrong? Oh, then
00:16:59.720 --> 00:17:01.299
you dig in a little bit deeper and you realize
00:17:01.299 --> 00:17:03.500
that there's something that's wrong that we can
00:17:03.500 --> 00:17:06.039
fix. That's right. And we do fix it. Instead
00:17:06.039 --> 00:17:08.559
of deciding that that person doesn't belong with
00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:10.500
us anymore, we're actually accepting them and
00:17:10.500 --> 00:17:12.579
saying, and it's not just coming from me, it's
00:17:12.579 --> 00:17:16.220
coming from my staff as well. And I can see them
00:17:16.220 --> 00:17:18.799
helping each other. And I think that it's the
00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:20.500
handling effect. It's like they're realizing
00:17:20.500 --> 00:17:25.460
that this works. Like, wait a second, this person
00:17:25.460 --> 00:17:30.420
can be helped. Yeah, that's right. Maybe it'll
00:17:30.420 --> 00:17:31.900
take a little bit of time and a little bit of
00:17:31.900 --> 00:17:35.740
compassion. It works. I think that's one of my
00:17:35.740 --> 00:17:39.720
biggest things that I've seen in my life with
00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:44.900
Hanley that's changed us as a group of people,
00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:47.440
which is we have a great group of people that
00:17:47.440 --> 00:17:50.380
work for me. They're amazing. They're amazing.
00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:54.839
They're amazing. They're amazing, but their eyes
00:17:54.839 --> 00:17:57.200
have been opened, I think, by the whole Hanley
00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:02.619
effect, as we'll say. By us partnering with Hanley
00:18:02.619 --> 00:18:07.160
and doing your events and working with you, they
00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:10.339
realize, wow, this is a thing. This is a really
00:18:10.339 --> 00:18:12.740
good thing, and it's changing people's lives.
00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:14.700
It's changing people's lives. Even just a little
00:18:14.700 --> 00:18:16.680
bit. I always say it doesn't have to go poof.
00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:18.700
Just a little bit. Just a little tiny bit at
00:18:18.700 --> 00:18:23.019
a time makes a big, big difference. One of our
00:18:23.019 --> 00:18:26.759
goals at Hanley is that one of these days, instead
00:18:26.759 --> 00:18:29.400
of saying mental illness, we just say illness.
00:18:29.640 --> 00:18:32.000
So if you have the flu, I say, oh, you have an
00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:33.920
illness. If you have cancer, you have an illness.
00:18:34.380 --> 00:18:38.640
Why do we have to say mental illness? I want
00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:44.880
us all to just start saying. And it's small things
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:46.779
like that are contagious. They are contagious.
00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:49.180
When you're talking, I think about the word contagious
00:18:49.180 --> 00:18:53.559
because, you know, I've never, you know, I get
00:18:53.559 --> 00:18:56.319
to be at our events and I've gotten to know some
00:18:56.319 --> 00:19:00.359
of your staff. We love them so much. But I never
00:19:00.359 --> 00:19:04.950
thought until this moment that. That they're
00:19:04.950 --> 00:19:06.829
what they're there like they're there at every
00:19:06.829 --> 00:19:11.049
event. They're hearing alumni tell stories of
00:19:11.049 --> 00:19:14.509
of going from devastation. And it is contagious.
00:19:15.430 --> 00:19:19.589
The good is contagious as well. And it's just
00:19:19.589 --> 00:19:24.750
just thinking about how environments impact us.
00:19:24.809 --> 00:19:27.369
And every moment, every one of us gets to be
00:19:27.369 --> 00:19:29.930
a part of an environment. And we're impacting
00:19:29.930 --> 00:19:33.920
people we don't. I never even thought. about
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:36.240
how impacted your team would be by hearing those
00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:38.759
stories. But, of course, it makes total sense.
00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:40.539
It's beautiful. It makes sense, and it's not
00:19:40.539 --> 00:19:44.119
being pushed on them. They're just there. With
00:19:44.119 --> 00:19:50.440
my business, we are very fortunate to be invited
00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:53.799
into rooms. where there's very interesting conversations
00:19:53.799 --> 00:19:56.180
going on that we're not supposed to talk about
00:19:56.180 --> 00:20:00.099
or hear about, but we hear them, especially with
00:20:00.099 --> 00:20:02.579
what's going on in the world. And I have a high
00:20:02.579 --> 00:20:05.000
-end catering company, so we are in rooms and
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:09.000
halls and lecture halls with all kinds of information.
00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:13.220
And a lot of my staff does try to, like, wow.
00:20:13.690 --> 00:20:15.309
Somebody just paid a lot of money to be in this
00:20:15.309 --> 00:20:17.869
room. I'm going to listen to this. And I think
00:20:17.869 --> 00:20:19.750
that's what's happening with the Hanley effect
00:20:19.750 --> 00:20:22.950
with my staff. They're like, wait a second. We're
00:20:22.950 --> 00:20:25.329
listening to this. This is happening. Wow. This
00:20:25.329 --> 00:20:27.829
is true. Wow. My uncle, my brother, my cousin,
00:20:27.910 -->
00:20:30.849
my this. I could maybe try to help. This is an
00:20:30.849 --> 00:20:33.650
idea that's working for these people. And I think
00:20:33.650 --> 00:20:35.390
that's what's carrying on. And I can see that
00:20:35.390 --> 00:20:38.910
actually happening with my staff, which I think
00:20:38.910 --> 00:20:40.490
is really cool. I love that. That's good stuff.
00:20:41.289 --> 00:20:44.890
I just want to share with you the impact that
00:20:44.890 --> 00:20:49.089
you made on Mary Jane Hanley. So before she passed,
00:20:49.349 --> 00:20:53.930
she came and visited Hanley Center in January
00:20:53.930 --> 00:20:58.609
2023. You remember. And you and your team collaborated
00:20:58.609 --> 00:21:03.089
with Chef Tim and our team at Hanley and produced
00:21:03.089 --> 00:21:09.220
just the most exquisite dinner. The impact, the
00:21:09.220 --> 00:21:14.460
kindness, the empathy, the sense of purpose that
00:21:14.460 --> 00:21:18.380
you and your team brought to that event was not
00:21:18.380 --> 00:21:21.000
lost on her, and she talked about it. So thank
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:23.099
you. That makes me very, very happy. That's great.
00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:27.700
That's amazing. I'll bring Jessica up. That was
00:21:27.700 --> 00:21:30.519
my Jessica. She's incredible. She's incredible,
00:21:30.819 --> 00:21:33.269
yeah. Yeah, we love Jessica so much. We all,
00:21:33.369 --> 00:21:35.869
everybody knows Jessica and everybody loves and
00:21:35.869 --> 00:21:38.250
appreciates Jessica. And she leads your team,
00:21:38.250 --> 00:21:41.390
man, masterfully. And I don't even know if I'm
00:21:41.390 --> 00:21:43.890
allowed to say this, but Jessica's sober as well.
00:21:44.089 --> 00:21:47.569
And so, you know, she's someone that wasn't sober.
00:21:47.730 --> 00:21:49.609
I don't know if that's, I'm allowed to say this,
00:21:49.710 --> 00:21:52.900
but I'm going to. If not, you'll be in trouble
00:21:52.900 --> 00:21:54.640
with her. I'll be in trouble with her. Not us,
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:56.160
that's right. No, no, but she definitely went
00:21:56.160 --> 00:21:57.960
through her trials and tribulations, and I kept
00:21:57.960 --> 00:22:00.420
her on. She did go to rehab. She went to California.
00:22:00.660 --> 00:22:02.539
She was gone for months and months and months.
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:04.980
And I said, let's not lose Jessica. Let's keep
00:22:04.980 --> 00:22:08.539
her working. She needed health insurance to pay
00:22:08.539 --> 00:22:13.500
for it. And so I kept her on, and they let her
00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:15.900
work remotely now and again, and she did, and
00:22:15.900 --> 00:22:18.319
she fixed computer problems and all kinds of
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:22.740
stuff. Then COVID hit, and all of a sudden, you
00:22:22.740 --> 00:22:24.700
know, she was in North Carolina, and I'm like,
00:22:24.759 --> 00:22:28.759
come back. Please come back. She's like, really?
00:22:28.920 --> 00:22:32.180
I'm like, yes, come
back. She's incredible. So
00:22:32.180 --> 00:22:35.480
thinking then about you're an employer, right?
00:22:35.539 --> 00:22:37.599
You have a large company. You're an employer
00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:39.640
of a lot of people. There are going to be people
00:22:39.640 --> 00:22:43.940
who are employers who just heard that. I think
00:22:43.940 --> 00:22:45.900
that's a really interesting thing to spend a
00:22:45.900 --> 00:22:53.640
second on. Why, if someone, you know, why not
00:22:53.640 --> 00:22:57.079
just get rid of someone? And when it comes to,
00:22:57.079 --> 00:22:59.579
especially people in the food industry and the
00:22:59.579 --> 00:23:01.200
service industry, you know, you're absolutely
00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:04.059
right. There's so much addiction and substance
00:23:04.059 --> 00:23:07.920
use disorders are really, really prevalent. And
00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:11.259
why not just get rid of them? If somebody is
00:23:11.259 --> 00:23:15.339
a restaurant owner or catering crew, why would
00:23:15.339 --> 00:23:19.119
you say, hey, Think about not just getting rid
00:23:19.119 --> 00:23:21.839
of these people. Because I think everyone has
00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:26.720
value. We don't know exactly what that is, but
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:29.079
everybody has value. And if you look and find
00:23:29.079 --> 00:23:32.140
out what that is, not everyone's a great chef.
00:23:32.359 --> 00:23:35.960
Not everyone's a great party planner. Not everyone's
00:23:35.960 --> 00:23:39.319
a great florist. But we all have something that
00:23:39.319 --> 00:23:41.660
we can offer. And if you can find that something
00:23:41.660 --> 00:23:46.180
and make it work. And we spend time and energy
00:23:46.180 --> 00:23:51.140
in working on that to make this employee part
00:23:51.140 --> 00:23:53.920
of the family. All of a sudden, when they're
00:23:53.920 --> 00:23:57.200
going through a bad time, I don't want to kick
00:23:57.200 --> 00:24:00.160
them to the curb. I want to fix the illness,
00:24:00.420 --> 00:24:03.960
as we will say now, which I'm now going to start
00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:06.519
using illness. All right. One convert. Fix the
00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:09.799
illness versus bringing in somebody else that
00:24:09.799 --> 00:24:13.880
we don't know. may look perfect and act perfect,
00:24:13.960 --> 00:24:17.579
but the same, it's, yeah, it's called life. And
00:24:17.579 --> 00:24:20.079
so I'd rather spend the time with the people
00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:23.019
that have worked for me that are going through
00:24:23.019 --> 00:24:25.660
bad times and make it and help them be there
00:24:25.660 --> 00:24:30.400
as a support system versus saying, no, no, no,
00:24:30.420 --> 00:24:33.099
no. Of course, there are issues that I can't
00:24:33.099 --> 00:24:36.720
fix. And I've done what I can do. And I, I have
00:24:36.720 --> 00:24:39.299
to make decisions about, yeah, this person's
00:24:39.299 --> 00:24:41.720
not going to work for a
while. And, or, you know,
00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:44.980
I never, I never say to anybody that, that they
00:24:44.980 --> 00:24:47.160
have to get sober or they have to get help or
00:24:47.160 --> 00:24:49.380
they, because we all know that's their decision.
00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:52.779
And until that happens, but when they do, a lot
00:24:52.779 --> 00:24:55.599
of them come back. I'll say, you know, can I,
00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:59.609
can I come? Yeah, come on. It's good. So good.
00:24:59.690 --> 00:25:01.789
I have to ask this follow -up because I'm really
00:25:01.789 --> 00:25:05.630
curious. Where is that answer that people have
00:25:05.630 --> 00:25:08.390
worth, people have value, where did that come
00:25:08.390 --> 00:25:14.130
from? Where did you develop that sense? I don't
00:25:14.130 --> 00:25:18.089
know. I think that's the way that my mother taught
00:25:18.089 --> 00:25:25.109
me. My twin brother, I have a twin, I had a twin
00:25:25.109 --> 00:25:31.430
brother who was Corey's father. that had an accident,
00:25:31.650 --> 00:25:37.150
quadriplegic, and I was his caretaker for 30
00:25:37.150 --> 00:25:42.869
years. So I think that had a lot to... I was
00:25:42.869 --> 00:25:50.829
around a lot of people that were caretakers,
00:25:50.849 --> 00:25:53.069
that were helping, and I think maybe that probably
00:25:53.069 --> 00:25:56.109
rubbed off on me a little bit. A little bit.
00:25:56.230 --> 00:25:59.960
Yeah, I think it... Probably did. And so I think
00:25:59.960 --> 00:26:04.720
helping him, because he was at a disadvantage
00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:07.500
because of the fact that he was, you know, I
00:26:07.500 --> 00:26:10.480
mean, Corey, I mean, Mike has stories of Corey.
00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:12.380
Yeah, like Corey's dad used to come out there
00:26:12.380 --> 00:26:14.500
and watch him skate when he was in the chair,
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:18.900
you know, so. My brother had a pretty good idea
00:26:18.900 --> 00:26:20.619
what he wanted to do, even though he was in the
00:26:20.619 --> 00:26:22.410
wheelchair. He thought he was still. I mean,
00:26:22.410 --> 00:26:26.269
I run in marathons. With Corey, it was great
00:26:26.269 --> 00:26:28.150
that we had an option that we could drop Corey
00:26:28.150 --> 00:26:30.349
off with Mike and know that he was going to be
00:26:30.349 --> 00:26:34.450
okay and we would get there. But taking care
00:26:34.450 --> 00:26:37.450
of my brother for those many years, I think that
00:26:37.450 --> 00:26:40.589
led me to open my eyes maybe a little bit about
00:26:40.589 --> 00:26:44.470
people and what's really inside versus just what's
00:26:44.470 --> 00:26:48.190
outside. And what's really important. That's
00:26:48.190 --> 00:26:53.380
another thing. What really is important, yeah.
00:26:53.900 --> 00:26:56.839
And I think that's the key, that we get out of
00:26:56.839 --> 00:27:01.640
this. Because you both have stories of, you know,
00:27:01.660 --> 00:27:04.700
I'm
a therapist, so I'm always curious why. How
00:27:04.700 --> 00:27:10.470
did you develop this sense? Years and years of
00:27:10.470 --> 00:27:15.849
recovery and service and having lost a nephew
00:27:15.849 --> 00:27:19.430
to this disease and being, but, you know, it's
00:27:19.430 --> 00:27:21.650
pretty clear that there's something deeper. And
00:27:21.650 --> 00:27:25.730
so you've got mom who taught you some. I think,
00:27:25.789 --> 00:27:28.950
yeah, I think that's a lot to do with it. But
00:27:28.950 --> 00:27:31.490
I also think, you know, we're in the people business.
00:27:31.609 --> 00:27:36.390
And so we deal with people. You know, I deal
00:27:36.390 --> 00:27:40.339
with. People pretty well, I always have. I don't
00:27:40.339 --> 00:27:42.700
know where that came from, but I always say the
00:27:42.700 --> 00:27:46.779
billionaires like to be treated just like everybody
00:27:46.779 --> 00:27:49.539
else. If you treat a billionaire like you treat
00:27:49.539 --> 00:27:52.980
a dishwasher, you're not judging anybody. It's
00:27:52.980 --> 00:27:55.960
just who they are. They're called people. And
00:27:55.960 --> 00:28:00.019
I think that's the way that I've always thought
00:28:00.019 --> 00:28:02.559
that that's the way that there should be an evil
00:28:02.559 --> 00:28:06.140
level playing. It's not about... how much money
00:28:06.140 --> 00:28:08.779
you have or what kind of car you drive or how
00:28:08.779 --> 00:28:10.700
big is your house or what you do for a living.
00:28:10.779 --> 00:28:12.940
It's about people. This is what you do. What
00:28:12.940 --> 00:28:18.380
are they giving? What's the big picture? And
00:28:18.380 --> 00:28:24.400
I think that's why I don't have an issue. Some
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:27.119
people are like, if you know me really well,
00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:30.619
you know that I was in shorts and a T -shirt.
00:28:31.420 --> 00:28:34.259
you can't go to that client's house looking like
00:28:34.259 --> 00:28:36.819
that. And I'm like, yeah, they like me like that
00:28:36.819 --> 00:28:39.799
because they're going to think that that's who
00:28:39.799 --> 00:28:43.579
I am and that's who they are. And there's a sense
00:28:43.579 --> 00:28:45.279
of ease because they know that I'm not trying
00:28:45.279 --> 00:28:47.759
to buy something or sell them something, all
00:28:47.759 --> 00:28:50.180
that stuff that they go through every day. There's
00:28:50.180 --> 00:28:53.279
a genuineness about you that's very, it is, it's
00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:55.259
very comforting. You've got a lot of empathy,
00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:57.000
man. You've got a lot of empathy in you, man.
00:28:57.759 --> 00:28:59.519
You've been through a lot, so that's where that
00:28:59.519 --> 00:29:03.119
empathy comes through. is your brother and all
00:29:03.119 --> 00:29:06.339
that, you know? So, yeah. Well, I mean, I think
00:29:06.339 --> 00:29:08.319
it's just, I don't know. It's a, it's a good,
00:29:08.319
--> 00:29:10.480
it's a good way to be. Yeah. It's a good quality,
00:29:10.500 --> 00:29:12.740
man. I mean, I think this guy right here, same
00:29:12.740 --> 00:29:14.500
thing. That's why we're a good team. All of us.
00:29:14.519 --> 00:29:16.880
That's why we have a, we have a great team of
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:19.079
people together for this, for this fundraiser
00:29:19.079 --> 00:29:21.400
that I, that I hope is going to bring in more
00:29:21.400 --> 00:29:23.119
money this year and we're going to have more
00:29:23.119 --> 00:29:27.079
fun. I think it's very cool that we have the
00:29:27.079 --> 00:29:28.920
National Croquet Center. I'm going to throw their
00:29:28.920 --> 00:29:30.779
name in there because they are letting us. They're
00:29:30.779 --> 00:29:33.960
wonderful there. They're letting us put a half
00:29:33.960 --> 00:29:36.819
pipe at the croquet center. That doesn't happen
00:29:36.819 --> 00:29:38.980
every day. That doesn't happen now. That just
00:29:38.980 --> 00:29:41.940
shows you how good the event is. That's how professional
00:29:41.940 --> 00:29:45.920
it is and the sobriety of it. How many people
00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:48.019
were helped from that event? It goes a long way.
00:29:48.279 --> 00:29:50.099
Surfer Blood. We've got Surfer Blood, and they're
00:29:50.099 --> 00:29:54.099
back with us. They've signed on to it. So they
00:29:54.099 --> 00:29:56.299
were great last year. They were fantastic. That
00:29:56.299 --> 00:29:58.059
was really good. They were really good. They
00:29:58.059 --> 00:29:59.680
were really good, and I think we're going to
00:29:59.680 --> 00:30:03.839
have... It's so fun. We're going to bring the
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:06.619
party like we did last year up to the actual
00:30:06.619 --> 00:30:10.259
veranda. So the air conditioning is there. If
00:30:10.259 --> 00:30:11.819
the weather's bad, it's not going to really matter.
00:30:12.519 --> 00:30:14.759
The first year we had issues. Way down, yeah.
00:30:14.859 --> 00:30:17.339
It was different over there next to the lake.
00:30:17.380 --> 00:30:19.380
This year it's going to be, or last year it was.
00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:22.180
We decided last minute to bring it closer, and
00:30:22.180 --> 00:30:23.700
I think it worked really well. Really worked.
00:30:23.859 --> 00:30:27.880
For those that are listening, when is this event,
00:30:27.980 --> 00:30:30.380
and where can they find out more information
00:30:30.380 --> 00:30:33.559
about it? We're looking at September 14th at
00:30:33.559 --> 00:30:38.500
the 13th Croquet Place. National Croquet over
00:30:38.500 --> 00:30:42.519
there. September 13th, 4 o 'clock, the National
00:30:42.519 --> 00:30:46.279
Croquet Center, 700 Florida Mango, right next
00:30:46.279 --> 00:30:48.599
to the zoo, West Palm Beach, very easy to get
00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:53.339
to. And everyone is welcome. We can go on to
00:30:53.339 --> 00:30:57.319
the Hanley website and buy tickets. And, yeah,
00:30:57.460 --> 00:31:00.339
we want everybody to come, please. Very good.
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:03.319
So that's our HanleyFoundation .org website.
00:31:03.539 --> 00:31:06.339
All right, navigate to tickets. Bardo Barbecue.
00:31:06.859 --> 00:31:10.000
Guys, we have run out of time, but we like to
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:12.960
take the last minute and give you each an opportunity
00:31:12.960 --> 00:31:16.119
to think about one last message. What is one
00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:18.420
thing that you would want our listeners to hear?
00:31:18.500 --> 00:31:20.200
And our listeners are people. They're people
00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:22.140
in recovery. They're people who are struggling
00:31:22.140 --> 00:31:25.119
with addiction and other illnesses right now.
00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:27.859
They're people who are family members, friends.
00:31:28.099 --> 00:31:31.960
They're people in the community. What is one
00:31:31.960 --> 00:31:36.410
thing that you would want to say? To those that
00:31:36.410 --> 00:31:40.329
are listening. I think we learned a new word,
00:31:40.390 --> 00:31:43.630
illness, today. I think we have to all remember
00:31:43.630 --> 00:31:47.670
that, take that mental word out. I love that
00:31:47.670 --> 00:31:49.990
today, that we actually have a new way of thinking.
00:31:50.650 --> 00:31:52.869
And that there's help out there. That there's
00:31:52.869 --> 00:31:56.509
really, we are very, very fortunate to live in
00:31:56.509 --> 00:31:59.069
South Florida. We're in this place where there's
00:31:59.069 --> 00:32:02.349
help. And it's right here. You have to be able
00:32:02.349 --> 00:32:05.190
to reach out and grab it. It's there for you.
00:32:05.780 --> 00:32:09.140
Beautiful. And how about you, Mike? Yeah, it
00:32:09.140 --> 00:32:11.019
only works if you work it. So there's a lot of
00:32:11.019 --> 00:32:12.740
help out there. People are willing to help you.
00:32:12.779 --> 00:32:15.920
So Hanley, everybody go to their website and
00:32:15.920 --> 00:32:18.119
go there and get the work that you need for your
00:32:18.119 --> 00:32:21.170
illness and you'll be very happy. Man, Mike and
00:32:21.170 --> 00:32:23.230
James, thank you both so much for being here
00:32:23.230 --> 00:32:24.910
today. This was so fun. Love this. Thank you
00:32:24.910 --> 00:32:26.789
both. Can't wait for the event. Thank you guys
00:32:26.789 --> 00:32:29.130
for having us. Dr. D, love being with you as
00:32:29.130 --> 00:32:30.930
always. I know. It was a great one today. It
00:32:30.930 --> 00:32:34.089
was super fun. So fun. And thanks to everybody
00:32:34.089 --> 00:32:36.349
who's listening or watching. We'll see you next
00:32:36.349 --> 00:32:39.089
time on The Hanley Effect. Bye, everyone. Thank
00:32:39.089 --> 00:32:40.750
you. Bye -bye. See you guys. Thanks for listening.
00:32:42.119 --> 00:32:44.480
Thank you for joining us for The Hanley Effect.
00:32:44.759 --> 00:32:47.880
To learn more about our programs, visit hanleyfoundation
00:32:47.880 --> 00:32:52.240
.org or call 844 -502 -4673.