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Somewhere in your house right now, there's a doodle on the clock monitoring the window, tracking the snags, escorting you to the bathroom like you can't be trusted to go alone.
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Nobody hired them.
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Nobody trained them for the position.
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Nobody's paying them on purpose.
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And that, you guys, is exactly the problem.
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Welcome to the Doodle Pro Podcast.
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I'm Kring Gearhart, and today we're talking about your doodle's job.
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Because they have one.
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I promise you they have one.
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You just never got a copy of the job description.
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And by the end of this episode, you're going to look at your doodle completely differently.
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In a good way.
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In the best way, honestly.
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Now, let me tell you about mine.
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Nestle McCabapoo holds the title of Head of Snack Surveillance, unpaid, extremely committed.
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Every day at 5 15, when dinner prep starts, he stations himself at the exact spot where the counter meets the fridge.
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Not near it, at it.
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Like a tiny security guard who's memorized where the shift change happens.
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If I move to the pantry, he repositions.
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If I open the cheese drawer, and I want to be clear, the cheese drawer makes a specific sound that is apparently audible from anywhere in my house.
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He arrives before the drawer is fully open.
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He did not learn this on purpose from me.
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Believe me, I never taught a class called Where the Cheese Falls.
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He assigned himself.
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He saw an opening in the organization and he took it.
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And your doodle did too.
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Maybe yours is the stock acquisition specialist, the neighborhood watch commander, the director of counteroperations, the professional napper with an inconsistent schedule.
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Go ahead and picture your doodle right now.
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You already know which one they are, don't you?
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You're smiling.
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I can feel you smiling.
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Okay, here's where the bet stops being a bit because there's a real principle underneath it.
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And it's one I want you to carry around for the rest of your life with your beloved dog.
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Doodles come from partnership breeds on every side of the family tree.
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Retrieving partners, water partners, dogs whose entire history is working alongside a person, reading a person, waiting for the next assignment from a person.
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And partnership dogs expect a role.
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That's the deal they've been offering humans for generations.
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Give me a job and I will do it with my whole entire heart.
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So here's what happens when nobody assigns one.
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They don't wait around, they don't file a complaint, they promote themselves.
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And here's the principle: if you write down one thing today, write this an unmet need does not disappear.
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It gets self-directed.
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Say it with me.
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An unmet need does not disappear.
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It gets self-directed.
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The barking at the window, the door rushing, the counter patrol.
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That is not misbehavior.
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That's a doodle running a department nobody created with no manager, no training, and no lunch break.
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Let me walk you through one all the way because I want you to really see this.
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Think about the doodle who barks at every single delivery truck.
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Everyone.
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The 1042 Amazon van, the mail carrier whose schedule they've memorized better than you've memorized your own kids' schedules.
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That dog did not develop a barking problem.
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That dog assigned themselves a surveillance shift, full time, no breaks.
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No one's relieving them at five o'clock.
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And here's the part that gets me every time.
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They're exhausted by it.
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Just like you would be.
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Imagine working a job where the threats never stop coming.
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Nobody ever says, good work, and you can't quit.
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That's not a naughty dog.
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That's an overworked one.
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Now let me give you a second one because once you see this pattern, you can't unsee it.
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The sock acquisition specialist.
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You know this doodle.
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Maybe you live with this doodle.
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There's a sock missing right now, and you both know who's got it.
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Here's what's actually happening there.
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Somewhere along the way, that doodle discovered that picking up a sock produces the single most exciting event in the
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entire household.
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You stop what you're doing, you say their name in that voice.
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Sometimes multiple family members join in.
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There's chasing, there's drama, there's eye contact like they've never received in their life.
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And boy, it's deliciously stinky, too.
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From your doodle's side of the table, they didn't steal a sock.
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They initiated the company team building event.
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And it worked.
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It works every time.
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That's not a thief.
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That's a retrieving dog who found the one retrieval job this household reliably pays for.
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Which brings me to the part that nobody says out loud.
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We're all, every one of us, accidentally running the HR department.
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Whatever gets a reaction gets reinforced.
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And whatever gets reinforced becomes the role.
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Your Doodle's job title wasn't picked at random, it was built one accidental paycheck at a time out of whatever your household happened to respond to.
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And I need you to hear the next sentence in my kindest voice.
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That is not a criticism of you.
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Nobody told you you were the HR department.
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You didn't even know the company existed.
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You were just trying to get your sack back without any holes or swallowing.
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So the reframe I want to hand you today is this.
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Stop asking, how do I make this stop?
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And start asking, what job did my doodle take?
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And is it the one I would have picked for them?
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That question changes everything because how do I make this stop leads you to corrections, and corrections aimed at a self-assigned job don't touch the need underneath it.
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But what job did they take leads you somewhere useful.
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It tells you what your doodle's actually asking for.
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Not more discipline, a better assignment.
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And a doodle with a better assignment is a calmer doodle, a more connected doodle, and honestly, a funnier doodle because now the jokes are on purpose.
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Now here's the thing: there are five job titles a doodle can hold.
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Five.
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And each one needs something completely different from you.
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What helps the surveillance dog will bore the unemployed one to pieces.
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What settles the overworked one does nothing for the one working three jobs at once.
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Getting the title wrong means solving the wrong problem, which is what most doodle parents have been doing for years through absolutely no fault of their own.
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Because nobody showed them the org chart.
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So I built you something.
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It's a quiz, it takes two minutes, and it tells you your doodle's actual job title.
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And I promise you'll send the result to somebody because they are just so accurate.
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It's a little spooky.
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People message me like, how did it know about the window?
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And go ahead, go ahead and take it at the doodlepro.com slash doodle job.
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All one word.
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That's the doodlepro.com slash doodle job.
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Then come tell me what you got.
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Find me on Instagram job title because I'm dying to know.
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And I read every single one.
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Last time I asked, somebody told me their burna doodle got professional napper and then attached a photo of the dog asleep on the quiz results.
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I think about it weekly.
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This is the Doodle Pro Podcast, where we celebrate how doodles are different.
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Wonderfully so.