התמלול המלא של "Talking About Something You Almost Did" w/ Hollywood Handbook

gym, right? It's a club. 00:02:54 Speaker 2: He wore the gym merch for you. 00:02:56 Speaker 5: I just want to say too when I said you go first, I didn't mean forever. 00:03:00 Speaker 1: No, I mean like, I felt it would anchor you for when you introduce yourself to know if you're introducing yourself on Hulu. Oh, yeah. That's actually, that's very kind. Or on Patreon. YouTube? Like, I don't know, you know? Yeah, that's tough. But you go to the same gym. We go to the same gym. Yeah. And I'm talking to Sam. Like, we're talking about everything. He's disparaging the network. 00:03:25 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:03:26 Speaker 2: The network meaning Hulu or iHeart? 00:03:29 Speaker 1: No, iHeart. I would never disparage Hulu. 00:03:30 Speaker 2: No, you would never disparage Hulu. 00:03:31 Speaker 1: Of course iHeart because I don't know about the Hulu deal yet because he doesn't tell me. 00:03:36 Speaker 2: Oh, Sam broke the news to you. 00:03:37 Speaker 1: No, I wait to find out from the news the next day. because he did not mention in a long conversation about all things I heart. We did unpack sort of everything. Yeah, but I don't want to be rude to our host, obviously. 00:03:56 Speaker 5: Hayes said there was a lot of stuff in the conversation he could have done without. 00:04:01 Speaker 1: And the Hulu stuff actually would have been really fruitful. I'm saying it was deliberately withheld for me. Yeah, Sam was kind of, he made a conscious decision. 00:04:07 Speaker 2: Sam was going like, what else, what else? 00:04:08 Speaker 4: Fuck, wow. 00:04:09 Speaker 1: He wanted you to feel stung. 00:04:10 Speaker 2: I'm doing legs today, fuck. 00:04:14 Speaker 1: It wasn't late. He was lifting. I was lifting. 00:04:18 Speaker 4: So this is really interesting. And I'm glad you called me out for this. because I wasn't trying to keep it from you. 00:04:24 Speaker 1: I just wasn't sure. I was like, another day. I'm new to Hollywood. It's complicated. 00:04:30 Speaker 2: I mean, there's obviously a power dynamic where. 00:04:33 Speaker 4: Sorry, I don't know what's good. Also, I just want to talk about your success. You're doing all this journalistic stuff. Literally, you're on top of mind because I was listening to the Culture Gap Fest and you're working with Julia. And I was saying, oh my gosh, he's a journalist for crying out loud. 00:04:47 Speaker 3: And I just want to say to you guys, congrats, because we just heard you're available on Apple Podcasts now, audio only. 00:04:53 Speaker 2: Is that true? 00:04:54 Speaker 1: Audio is on Apple Podcasts. His track is. Yeah. And it's like- You have to pay extra for both tracks. It doesn't come up. 00:05:02 Speaker 5: When you search the name of the show, it's one of those weird things where it doesn't find it, you have to kind of scroll alphabetically until you find it. 00:05:10 Speaker 1: Mine's on Apple News, because I'm doing journalism stuff now, so my track, if you subscribe to Town & Country Magazine, you get my,

you get to listen to my track while you read Town & Country Magazine. 00:05:21 Speaker 3: You guys should release them together for a Patreon subscriber, so you should do Apple News, Hayes, Apple Podcasts, Sean, and then Patreon only, You can combine them a day. 00:05:32 Speaker 1: Our producer Kevin says that that's not possible. The technology is not there to have it. 00:05:38 Speaker 2: All be in one. You can do it with AI now. 00:05:41 Speaker 1: So that's what's so exciting about this technology. It's really cool. 00:05:44 Speaker 2: It's an exciting technology. 00:05:45 Speaker 1: It's actually making life easier. All those tasks. But are people mad about AI because then they would have to listen to both of us talk at the same time? 00:05:52 Speaker 2: Well, I just want to say I only use AI for... creative work like writing. 00:05:57 Speaker 3: So I don't use it for errands or anything or searching something, Googling something. 00:06:03 Speaker 2: That I can do manually. 00:06:04 Speaker 1: I don't have it do the writing for me. 00:06:05 Speaker 5: I just have it give me the idea of what to write and who will be in the scenes. 00:06:11 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Yes. 00:06:13 Speaker 2: Who will write it, who will be in the, and then often also the dialogue. 00:06:16 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, what are they gonna say? 00:06:18 Speaker 2: I wanna know that. 00:06:18 Speaker 1: Maybe where it takes place. I mean, I can write, so... I write it myself. What I can't do is make the entire movie. And so then I just put in there, I say, can you just make this into a movie? 00:06:32 Speaker 5: I can't make it look incredible. I'll introduce myself. Actually, after some of the House of Davenport stuff, I can't wait to see what you do with my name. 00:06:45 Speaker 1: We're going to try to riff on your name. 00:06:46 Speaker 2: It's going to be a field day. 00:06:49 Speaker 5: I'm ready for the firing squad. 00:06:52 Speaker 1: My name is Sean Clements. 00:06:54 Speaker 2: Oh, that's a cool name. 00:06:55 Speaker 1: Mark Twain's stepson? Like, you know, like. 00:07:01 Speaker 2: Mark Twain's stepson? 00:07:02 Speaker 1: Well, Samuel Clements was his. 00:07:05 Speaker 4: Oh. 00:07:05 Speaker 2: Sorry, we don't know about stuff like that. 00:07:09 Speaker 1: They don't ask it on Family Feud, you know? It's not that kind of game show. It's not the kind of prep you would do for Family Feud. 00:07:14 Speaker 3: I just wanna say, you walked in and you said, have you talked about Family Feud yet? Like, should we talk about you being on Family Feud? And then I said, yeah, I mean, you know, we lost to Steve Aoki. And you were like, how the fuck would I know that? 00:07:25 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. Well, the way, what you actually said was, you know, we lost to Steve Aoki. 00:07:31 Speaker 2: Well, I thought that's why you know. 00:07:33 Speaker 1: I didn't know that. Information's complicated. 00:07:36 Speaker 2: I want to say one thing. 00:07:37 Speaker 1: I knew that you were on Family Feud. Celebrity Family Feud. 00:07:41 Speaker 2: Celebrity Family Feud. As the family. 00:07:45 Speaker 1: As the family. 00:07:46 Speaker 3: I was Joel Kim Booster's chosen family. and we lost to Steve Aoki's biological family. So Devin was not there. And I was really upset because when I heard it was Steve Aoki's family, I was like Devin Aoki from Fast and Furious. And instead it was like some loser who's like a doctor. 00:08:05 Speaker 1: That sucks. That really sucks. Fucking sucks. That sucks. 00:08:09 Speaker 2: But of course they did beat us. 00:08:11 Speaker 3: I do wanna say one of the questions was who is the greatest male vocalist of all time? And of course you're guessing what people have said. It's not like the right answer. We kept guessing, we're like trying to get into the mind of middle America. We're like Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney, whatever. One of the answers was Jelly Roll. How would your mind even go there? 00:08:31 Speaker 4: Would you have gotten that? 00:08:32 Speaker 3: We were so proud of ourselves for being like, yes, we're coastal elites, but we're not saying, you know, Sam Smith, we're trying to find the right. 00:08:41 Speaker 2: Kind of guy. And we still couldn't get to Jelly Roll. 00:08:43 Speaker 1: Perfect version is you say that trying to score, like trying to get a clip. Trying to get Steve, Steve is hosting? Steve is hosting, yes. Trying to get Steve to make the face be like, okay, we'll see if that's one. And then it actually is one. But you win coming and going. To jokingly say Jelly Roll. 00:09:00 Speaker 2: They had that score point. That's kind of the dream. 00:09:04 Speaker 1: And then Jelly Roll walks out. 00:09:06 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, he jelly roll walks out. 00:09:09 Speaker 1: He gets down on one knee. 00:09:10 Speaker 2: He proposes. He proposes to you. 00:09:12 Speaker 1: Oh my God. 00:09:13 Speaker 5: You marry Jelly Roll live on Celebrity Family Feud? 00:09:17 Speaker 1: Come on! That clip would go viral. 00:09:19 Speaker 3: And then it's like middle America, suddenly more comfortable with an LGBTQ plus couple. 00:09:23 Speaker 5: They say, well now that Jelly Roll is good enough for my son, yeah. 00:09:27 Speaker 1: That would be amazing. 00:09:29 Speaker 3: Me and Jelly Roll are having penetrative sex on stage on the Celebrity Family Feud. 00:09:33 Speaker 1: Steve's making a face. He's going, Steve's going. Steve's like, I don't want to see that. Yeah, that'd be cool. 00:09:40 Speaker 2: Hang on. 00:09:43 Speaker 4: So I wanna know emotionally what it was like when you found out about. 00:09:46 Speaker 1: The Hulu deal. Walk me through that. We had a really long conversation about it the other day on our podcast with O'Shea Jackson Jr. 00:09:57 Speaker 5: He came in and he could see something was going on. 00:10:01 Speaker 1: He said, we'll get promoting my movie. 00:10:03 Speaker 2: You walked in and said, we've been talking about you guys a

lot. I was thinking, good things, I hope. Turns out it was with an animosity. 00:10:11 Speaker 1: The whole episode ended up being about explaining you guys to O'Shea Jackson. 00:10:16 Speaker 2: I cannot believe this. Yes. 00:10:19 Speaker 5: And he did basically say that Ice Cube was going to kick your ass. 00:10:22 Speaker 1: Yeah, he did. Oh, no. 00:10:23 Speaker 2: Because Ice Cube is his father, correct? 00:10:25 Speaker 5: Yes. 00:10:25 Speaker 1: Ice Cube is his father. Yes, which he's very open about. He brings it up. 00:10:29 Speaker 2: He's doing this. 00:10:30 Speaker 1: Yeah, it would be crazy if you brought it up. Stop hiding it. That's good. No, which is cool. That's really cool these days. And we did tell him. that you guys call yourselves Stradio Lab out of Compton and that you say that you came up with that first. Yeah, that you invented that. 00:10:46 Speaker 2: That we invented saying something out of Compton. 00:10:48 Speaker 1: Well, something. Stradio Lab out of Compton. But you invented it as Stradio. 00:10:53 Speaker 2: Lab out of Compton. 00:10:54 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:10:55 Speaker 2: Whereas you guys invented Keep Calm and Handbook On. 00:10:58 Speaker 1: We did. Interesting. That's awesome. Chive took that from us and then England took it from Jack. Yes. 00:11:07 Speaker 2: A lot of England is based on I heart properties. 00:11:10 Speaker 1: Ultimately. Yeah. If not directly. Yes. Do you guys get to meet the Jonas brothers as part of this? 00:11:17 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:11:18 Speaker 1: Is there a big brunch for everybody? You guys have everything. You guys have everything. 00:11:23 Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys have everything. 00:11:24 Speaker 1: We can't have one Hulu deal? I got to watch promo for The Dink over and over again? 00:11:28 Speaker 2: I just want to say, the idea that we're hiding. 00:11:30 Speaker 1: You don't have to watch it over and over again. You guys, you guys have everything. You guys have everything. 00:11:35 Speaker 3: The idea that we are hiding our career successes where every single time I'm even in an email thread about Hollywood Handbook, it's, Sean. 00:11:41 Speaker 1: Is starting a new writer's room next week. 00:11:43 Speaker 2: Oh, Sean is actually starting a. 00:11:44 Speaker 1: New writer's room. Sean doesn't know if he can do a podcast. That's after his first. 00:11:46 Speaker 2: Writer's room, and it starts at 7 p.m. because it's in Europe. 00:11:48 Speaker 1: I don't know. You know, I don't think that that is the same thing. I'm not hiding it from you. I'm putting it in your face. Well, I don't know what you're writing for, I must say. Yeah, what are you writing for? The partner at home, I just wanted to say, gets to participate in that success because the work that I do at home on the podcast allows him to go out and bring something the success back to this family. And then I bring, and then there's guests coming in onto the show. 00:12:22 Speaker 5: They were in the movie,

or they were part of the show, you know? 00:12:26 Speaker 3: You guys should have Devon Aoki on and ask her why she didn't want to participate in Celebrity Family Feud. 00:12:34 Speaker 1: Is it because there is a non-televised Celebrity Family Feud. 00:12:39 Speaker 2: Between the rest of the Aokis and Devon? 00:12:41 Speaker 1: I don't know if it has to do, I mean, like... the Rocky, the restaurant, like who has the restaurant now? 00:12:48 Speaker 2: I don't know. Yes, thank you for asking. 00:12:49 Speaker 3: One of the other siblings that was present is taking over the family business and also has like some other kind of restaurant, because you know Steve Aoki's dad is Benihana. 00:12:59 Speaker 1: I am just now learning this. 00:13:00 Speaker 2: That's not his name. 00:13:00 Speaker 1: But you know, right? 00:13:02 Speaker 4: I mean. 00:13:03 Speaker 1: It's the you know again. 00:13:05 Speaker 2: You guys know, you knew. 00:13:06 Speaker 1: You know this thing you don't know, right? Did you know? 00:13:09 Speaker 4: No. 00:13:10 Speaker 1: I don't know. 00:13:11 Speaker 2: You didn't know that Steve Aoki's family is the Benihana Dynasty. 00:13:13 Speaker 1: Let me just be clear before we proceed. I know almost nothing. See, the thing is- Including how to behave or respond in any conversation. I don't think that's true. 00:13:22 Speaker 4: I thought I knew a lot, and I'm learning I know almost nothing. 00:13:26 Speaker 1: His name is Rocky. Embrace it. What's his name? Rocky. 00:13:29 Speaker 4: Who? 00:13:29 Speaker 2: It's crazy that you know that. 00:13:30 Speaker 1: I believe he's passed on. I believe he's passed on. To know the actual name. Now it's crazy that I know something. It was Rocky. 00:13:35 Speaker 4: So that's funny. I wish he was more upfront about it, much like Ice Cube's child. because Steve Aoki has been hiding his identity this whole time. 00:13:44 Speaker 3: Oh, see, it's funny, because to me, it's like one of the five main facts I know is that Steve Aoki is the Benny Huck. 00:13:49 Speaker 1: One of the top five facts. Top five facts. Throws the big cake, for sure. That's a part of his show, is that he hucks. 00:13:54 Speaker 2: The cake into the crowd. 00:13:56 Speaker 1: Long hair. 00:13:56 Speaker 4: Steve. 00:13:57 Speaker 1: Yeah. Long hair, for sure. 00:13:58 Speaker 4: That's one of the top five facts. 00:13:59 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:14:00 Speaker 2: It's like, why do we know Steve Aoki? 00:14:02 Speaker 1: DJ? Don't you? Yes. I feel like you were born knowing who he was. Do we know a song? 00:14:06 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know a single one of his songs. 00:14:08 Speaker 1: Does he have a song? Or does he just? Right. It's a really good question. 00:14:13 Speaker 2: It's literally like, you're killing it. 00:14:16 Speaker 1: Not all DJs have to have songs. 00:14:18 Speaker 5: No, some of them are just playing other people's songs. 00:14:21 Speaker 1: That's valid. 00:14:21 Speaker 5: I wonder if he's like a credited producer on a song that we know, but we don't know it as a Steve Aoki song. 00:14:28 Speaker 2: Sure, sure, sure. 00:14:29 Speaker 1: Because that happens sometimes. 00:14:31 Speaker 2: No, that's true, fuck that. 00:14:32 Speaker 1: I thought you were going to. I was about to. Yeah, I'm ready. But then I decided that it wasn't him. I was about to say DJ Collaboration that I had heard of. I was going to say, was that Steve Aoki? No, I don't think it was. I just don't think that it was. Say what you think. Well, if he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to. Thank you. 00:14:52 Speaker 2: This is our show. My protector. 00:14:55 Speaker 1: My protector. Could have fooled me. So Hayes. Hayes. 00:15:01 Speaker 3: You decided to, after Sean took all the writing jobs, you decided to leave Hollywood to go to a much more stable, lucrative industry, which is digital journalism. 00:15:11 Speaker 1: Local. 00:15:12 Speaker 2: Local news. 00:15:13 Speaker 1: LA news. LA news. Because then it's like, oh, I wasn't even trying to do TV shows. Oh, you want to do TV shows? Oh, I have another dream, actually. 00:15:23 Speaker 4: Oh, you're still watching TV shows? Yeah, I don't do that anymore. 00:15:27 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I support you. 00:15:28 Speaker 4: I go to restaurants and write about them. 00:15:31 Speaker 1: Not what I do. 00:15:33 Speaker 2: Are you the food critic? 00:15:34 Speaker 1: We don't have a food vertical at this. 00:15:36 Speaker 2: Time because we don't. 00:15:38 Speaker 1: Have capacity for that. This thing is packed. It's busting at the seams. 00:15:45 Speaker 2: The LA material. And the new podcast LA World. 00:15:49 Speaker 1: We have a new podcast. With Julia Turner from Sleep Culture Gab Fest. And Antonio Cedrito from LAists in Perfect Paradise. A little bit of a Super group. The traveling Wilburys of journalism. 00:16:07 Speaker 3: How are you finding the going back and forth between the persona of just sort of a rancid bad guy one day and kind of like. 00:16:19 Speaker 1: Is that what you think? 00:16:20 Speaker 3: And kind of just sort of like, you know, like, oh, computer cuck on the other the other day. 00:16:28 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:16:28 Speaker 2: How's that going? 00:16:30 Speaker 1: Um, none of it is going well. 00:16:32 Speaker 2: Totally. 00:16:32 Speaker 1: Uh-huh. It's all, I mean, you see, you know. 00:16:36 Speaker 2: Well, this is going well. We're on Hulu. 00:16:38 Speaker 1: That's right. No, this is going really well. And I guess we are right now. 00:16:42 Speaker 2: You're currently on Hulu. 00:16:43 Speaker 5: But then we have to go do another show tomorrow and the next day and the next day in the same building and it's. 00:16:49 Speaker 1: Not on Hulu. 00:16:50 Speaker 2: And this is your chance, like, use this time. 00:16:53 Speaker 1: A bit of an audition? Yeah. 00:16:55 Speaker 2: Like, you could be the next. 00:16:56 Speaker 4: Yeah, Hulu said they have, like, one more spot that they actually were

waiting to see if anyone made a splash. 00:17:00 Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're looking for male talent. 00:17:03 Speaker 1: Yeah, they're looking for male talent. 00:17:05 Speaker 3: But do you guys do any kind of, like, rewatch? Like, do you, have you thought of potentially making your podcast into, like, a, OC rewatch podcast. 00:17:14 Speaker 5: We did do one episode early on where we watched a single episode of Nip Tuck from the middle of the run that neither of us had ever seen and did a rewatch podcast of just that. 00:17:22 Speaker 1: And a lot of it was just us watching it. Just us watching and catching up a little bit on other stuff. 00:17:27 Speaker 2: Do you remember? Oh, you were just watching it live and then occasionally going, oh. 00:17:31 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:17:33 Speaker 2: Cool. 00:17:33 Speaker 1: And we hadn't seen the beginning of it and it was like a mid-run episode. Yeah, it was like season four, episode seven or something. 00:17:40 Speaker 5: Oh, that's a great episode. Okay, so I didn't know I was in the presence of a tuck head. 00:17:45 Speaker 3: No, the only episode, have you ever watched, and thank you. 00:17:49 Speaker 4: That's weird, I was sure you were gonna go nip head. 00:17:52 Speaker 1: Nip head? I was sure. Tuck Everlasting. 00:17:55 Speaker 2: Oh, okay. 00:17:57 Speaker 3: That's the blog I have where I kind of- Write about nip head. Write like an LGBTQ plus critique of each of. 00:18:02 Speaker 2: The episodes of Nip Tuck, yeah. 00:18:04 Speaker 5: Oh, oh. 00:18:06 Speaker 3: Did you know that there's an episode where Joan Rivers plays herself and goes in to get plastic surgery? 00:18:09 Speaker 1: I think I did know that. I think I've seen maybe screen, does she, and like she gets cut, right? That's what the show was. Literally. People's faces getting cut off. 00:18:19 Speaker 4: Are you guys, if you were to go on Family Feud, would you rather be the celebrity or the family? 00:18:26 Speaker 1: Oh, it's an easy one for me. I would want to be the celebrity. I would too, because that would mean that I- It would mean something very good has happened to me. That's right. That's exactly what I was going to say. 00:18:36 Speaker 2: No, if suddenly I woke up and I was the celebrity on Celebrity Family Feud, I'm going to like that life. 00:18:43 Speaker 4: But to be fair, if you're the celebrity on Celebrity Family Feud, aren't you sort of in a space of being like, where am I? What am I doing? You know, you're not in a feature film. You're at Celebrity Family Feud. 00:18:53 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know what? 00:18:54 Speaker 3: The biggest A-list celebrities do it. It's not like something that denotes that you're B-list or something. 00:18:59 Speaker 4: I mean, Steve Aoki doesn't even have a song. 00:19:02 Speaker 1: The cast. 00:19:03 Speaker 4: It's true. 00:19:04 Speaker 3: Literally the cast of The Housemaid did it as a family. 00:19:08 Speaker 2: I know because I watched it to prep. 00:19:10 Speaker 1: The cast of The Housemaid? 00:19:12 Speaker 2: Amanda Seyfried, Sidney Sweeney. 00:19:14 Speaker 1: Nuh-uh. 00:19:14 Speaker 2: Paul Feig. 00:19:15 Speaker 1: They got Sid? 00:19:17 Speaker 5: When we had Paul on the show, we watched The Housemaid early. 00:19:21 Speaker 1: We got a little screener sent to us. 00:19:23 Speaker 2: Did you review it for your show? Did you review The Housemaid for LA Material? 00:19:27 Speaker 1: We just talked to Paul, but we talked to him with context. Okay. They really, really wanted us to watch it. That was... We had to watch it. Now that he's not here, what did you really think of it? Yeah, what did you think? You know, it was exactly what it should be. I love that. Not trying to be anything that it isn't. It's an I am the housemate. And it is what it is. And I am a movie. Yeah. It was the perfect version of what it was. 00:20:02 Speaker 2: Wouldn't change a thing. 00:20:02 Speaker 1: And I left a happy customer. Mm-hmm. Well, you didn't buy it. It was a screener. 00:20:08 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's easy to be a happy customer. 00:20:09 Speaker 1: That was part of my pleasure. 00:20:13 Speaker 2: It was worth exactly zero dollars. 00:20:16 Speaker 5: And then later, my wife learned that there was a very steamy sex scene in the film, and she was like, why didn't you mention this to me? And I thought, that would have been strange for me to go. 00:20:30 Speaker 1: So I watched this movie alone late at night for work, and there was Nudity and sex in it. I didn't think I had to bring it up. I did. I mean, obviously, we have different relationships. I did mention it. 00:20:44 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you're right. From now on, I will. You have a marriage rooted in honesty and trust. 00:20:50 Speaker 1: Do you have a second? It was like that. If you have one second, I'll just get this out of the way. And she's like, I'm working. Can you hang up the phone, please? That's okay. I wrote it down. Whenever you get free, just give that a read. And I'm over here. We can talk about it. 00:21:06 Speaker 2: You get a sense that things are about to get steamy. Do you not? I mean, I guess I do. 00:21:09 Speaker 1: I guess I should pause it and call her. 00:21:11 Speaker 2: Pause and call and say, hey. 00:21:13 Speaker 1: Or even FaceTime and go, let's see this part together. Yeah. Just FYI, I'm about to... watch something kind of bad. 00:21:18 Speaker 5: If she was asleep, it might have been strange to call her, but maybe I should have just said, maybe I should have emailed Paul Feig and said, I'm very sorry. 00:21:25 Speaker 1: I have to cancel. 00:21:27 Speaker 3: I would send an email connecting him to your wife, say, hey, nice to e-meet you, Paul. 00:21:33 Speaker 2: Here's my wife. 00:21:34 Speaker 3: If you don't mind, I don't want the movie spoiled for you, but if you don't mind explaining to her what is about to happen in this scene, I'm in at 26. 00:21:40 Speaker 1: You could upload the shot list. 00:21:42 Speaker 2: Upload the

shot list to her. 00:21:44 Speaker 4: And maybe say why it's narratively important to have this scene. Because right now I just think it's smut. 00:21:51 Speaker 1: Yeah, yes. 00:21:52 Speaker 5: And I'm not sure he would be able to justify it. 00:21:55 Speaker 1: No. 00:21:55 Speaker 4: What? 00:21:56 Speaker 1: That's his choice. And the studios, of course. I mean, look, ultimately we're all employees, aren't we? Yeah, of Hulu. Us, personally. Not you guys. 00:22:03 Speaker 2: You guys are going to get it. 00:22:06 Speaker 1: We still don't know what the show is. 00:22:09 Speaker 2: I didn't know they had a TV division. 00:22:11 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:22:15 Speaker 2: But I'm really enjoying other podcasts that are on it, like Handsome. 00:22:19 Speaker 4: So, Hayes, this is interesting. I'm noticing a dynamic. 00:22:23 Speaker 5: Oh. 00:22:23 Speaker 4: Where it's, you know, Sean's out there doing TV stuff. Your wife out there so busy doing TV stuff. 00:22:30 Speaker 1: Oh, yes. I have a type, I guess. You know, us, Hulu's the deal, of course. Yeah, of course, of course. 00:22:38 Speaker 4: I can't, I understand now why the Hulu secret hit you so hard. 00:22:44 Speaker 1: Yes. Well, to read it in the news, which I'm also supposed to know about. Oh, wow, it really hit me. You should have broken the story. It was a scoop that I could have broken. 00:22:56 Speaker 2: You could have broken the scoop. That was withheld for me. Are you mad that you couldn't break the story that Stradio Lab is gonna be on Hulu on LA Material? 00:23:05 Speaker 1: Stradio Lab. 00:23:05 Speaker 2: And that you were scooped by Deadline. 00:23:08 Speaker 5: It's the kind of thing he should have access to before most of the other outlets. 00:23:12 Speaker 1: That's true. That is true. It's within LA County borders, like, But are you guys reporting on entertainment or is it mostly like? We did something about podcasts. I wasn't really consulted for that. We did the whole thing. The whole thing about the short stories getting bought off Reddit and turned into movies. That was them. Oh, that's true. They wrote that whole thing about that. That's entertainment. We did a thing about people in entertainment taking survival jobs. Like. 00:23:39 Speaker 2: Like Podcaster? 00:23:40 Speaker 1: Ah, yes, I did read that too. Who's that director? Yeah, we do some, that kind of thing. 00:23:53 Speaker 2: I mean, we're experimenting. 00:23:54 Speaker 1: Could have been worth a try. No, that's true. 00:23:56 Speaker 2: No, we have our recipe down. 00:23:59 Speaker 1: Okay. 00:24:00 Speaker 2: You know, that's why they pay us the Hulu bucks. 00:24:03 Speaker 4: I promise here that if we speak at our gym, to be more honest. 00:24:07 Speaker 1: Fuck, you could call it. If we speak at our gym, he said. Well, you're not there that much, to be honest. He's really there. You made clear that you are there. 00:24:21 Speaker 2: It's Sam's community is what you don't understand. 00:24:23 Speaker 1: In

a very real way, Sam was going to move back to New York. 00:24:30 Speaker 2: Then joined this gym, and then his Lisan life changed. And I'm not exaggerating. And now he likes LA. 00:24:36 Speaker 1: Yeah, it gave me a second chance. I love that. 00:24:38 Speaker 5: Yeah. 00:24:38 Speaker 1: So you should join. Where is it? Downtown. Ah, don't say downtown. No one wants to go downtown. You'll love it once you're there, right? Oh yeah, absolutely. But it is kind of a, so we have a show on our network with Carl Turner and Lamar Woods. And Lamar is a member of the gym, and they have a little bit of an unspoken one member of a duo policy. It does seem, yeah, there's no. 00:25:07 Speaker 3: Well, I'm really craving, it would be an amazing reveal if Sean and I also had some sort of outside connection that. 00:25:14 Speaker 1: We could talk about. I would love something like that. 00:25:16 Speaker 3: It's really, I mean, as we discussed last time I was on your podcast, I mean, there's a real direct sort of, blonde mustache, brunette beard kind of connection. 00:25:30 Speaker 2: And I'm feeling like. 00:25:32 Speaker 1: But does it stop at that? No. I think Sam and I. Today? No, no, no, I don't think it does. I think Sam and I are both the sweet one. That's just what I think. I think that's probably true. 00:25:42 Speaker 2: I think it's true. 00:25:43 Speaker 1: I think it's true. 00:25:44 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:25:45 Speaker 1: Outwardly. Outwardly. They thought they were the sweet one. 00:25:48 Speaker 2: But you know what? But no, I think. Here's a question for you guys. When someone wants to do. 00:25:53 Speaker 1: He's deflecting. 00:25:56 Speaker 3: When someone wants to do a podcast, which of you more often do they reach out to? 00:26:02 Speaker 1: When they want to do the show? I think I get more incoming calls. Me too. But he has more celebrity connections. Oh, you know what? You know why? It's not really celebrities that are reaching out to me. 00:26:13 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think the celebrities are reaching out. 00:26:16 Speaker 1: That's a good point. What's flooding into my mind is a bunch of people who have reached out to me that I just forgot to... That's very me. That I forgot to respond to. I'm sort of like, whatever. I'll get to it. These are the sweet ones, by the way, who are totally ignoring their friends. They know it comes from a sweet place. They know that. 00:26:34 Speaker 4: Well, it's just like, yeah, we're just so present with the people we're with that we can't. 00:26:38 Speaker 2: That you're ignoring everyone else. 00:26:39 Speaker 1: We want to please everyone so much that we end up getting- We just can't help ourselves. And we end up pleasing nobody. 00:26:43 Speaker 2: And then we pick up the pieces. Very common thing. 00:26:46 Speaker 3: I get a request. Someone wants to do the podcast. I tell Sam, should we have them on? Sam's like, eh, I don't think so. Suddenly- I have a full day of like, how do I craft, you know, how do I craft this response where I'm like, where I basically say, we don't want you on, but I'm the one put in charge of like couching that in the right way. 00:27:06 Speaker 2: And that's where ChatGPT comes in really handy. 00:27:08 Speaker 1: Do you have a producer? 00:27:10 Speaker 4: Yes. 00:27:11 Speaker 1: Okay, so. 00:27:12 Speaker 3: But can you imagine if someone reached out to me directly and then I was like, amazing, our producer will email you. 00:27:18 Speaker 2: And then the producer just emailed, no. 00:27:21 Speaker 1: Let me clarify. This sucks. No, it's true. Welcome to Hollywood, sweetheart. You have to send him to producer. 00:27:31 Speaker 2: That's probably what the Aoki family did to Devin. 00:27:34 Speaker 5: Let me put you in touch with our producer. And by the way, sometimes there is somebody who I go, maybe we could have them. Sometimes the producer. 00:27:39 Speaker 1: Does say no. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that happens. Sometimes Hayes says no. Mm-hmm. Sean's wife, I will say also, is an entertainment lawyer. Represents a number of clients who are in our weight class, let's say. And so like that, sometimes the outreach will come from that. 00:27:59 Speaker 5: Norbit. 00:28:01 Speaker 1: Norbit. 00:28:02 Speaker 2: She represents Norbit? 00:28:06 Speaker 1: He's due for a comeback. 00:28:07 Speaker 3: Would you believe us if we told you this is the second time today Norbit has come up? 00:28:12 Speaker 1: I'd have no reason not to. You've never lied to me before. 00:28:15 Speaker 2: It would be a crazy thing for me to pause it out of nowhere. 00:28:18 Speaker 1: I've lied by omission. Yes, you've withheld information, but never lied. But I wasn't a part of that conversation. I got a feeling if I had been at that gym, I would have come back with the tea. 00:28:26 Speaker 2: Oh, you think you're better at getting the tea? 00:28:28 Speaker 5: He is. 00:28:29 Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, he is. I'm bad at journalism also. 00:28:34 Speaker 2: I was about to say, so your job is getting the tea. 00:28:37 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but if he were doing it, he would be so much better. He's not doing it because he's doing TV. Yeah, which he would crush. 00:28:45 Speaker 2: You would be really good at writing for television. 00:28:48 Speaker 1: No, I'm not even trying at that. 00:28:53 Speaker 2: Should we do our first segment? 00:28:55 Speaker 1: Yes. 00:29:07 Speaker 3: Our first segment is called Straight Shooters. And in this segment, we test your familiarity with and complicity in straight culture by asking you a series of rapid fire questions where you have to choose this thing or this other thing. 00:29:18 Speaker 2: You have to go with your gut. 00:29:19 Speaker 3: And the one rule is you can't ask any follow-up questions or we will yell at you. 00:29:25 Speaker 4: Okay, going on paternity leave or having a conservative lean? 00:29:30 Speaker 1: Which one is more straight? That's a question. Having a conservative lean. I was

going to say paternity leave. Okay. It's okay to disagree. We don't talk about it at all. 00:29:40 Speaker 2: Spreading misinformation or dreading bad inflammation. 00:29:46 Speaker 1: Bad inflammation. 00:29:48 Speaker 2: You would never dread good inflammation. 00:29:50 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:29:51 Speaker 5: No, for some reason, it sounded like bed to me, which I was like, here's another thing I don't know about. 00:29:55 Speaker 1: And is it just so it scans to get the meter? The questions are off the charts. Exactly to your point, you would never dread good inflammation, so why say bad? Dreading bad inflammation. Okay. Buy one, get one free, or je suis la juvie. 00:30:14 Speaker 4: Oh. 00:30:15 Speaker 2: Bilingual. 00:30:15 Speaker 1: Je suis la juvie. Is that... I think of that from the Muzzy commercials. 00:30:20 Speaker 2: I see what's happening. 00:30:21 Speaker 1: Oh, that's true. 00:30:22 Speaker 2: Je suis le grand Muzzy. 00:30:24 Speaker 1: Je suis la jeune fille. That's true. 00:30:28 Speaker 2: You get one of the coveted, that's true. 00:30:35 Speaker 3: Joining the NRA or enjoying a guy who's gay. 00:30:42 Speaker 1: And I never really understood whether the... which one of these is more straight or it's which one do you prefer? 00:30:51 Speaker 2: That is a valid. 00:30:52 Speaker 1: Thing to think. Is this the kind of thing where you do like, oh, the NRA guys are all like, they're actually gay. They like the long guns and stuff. 00:30:59 Speaker 3: There's a level of critical analysis that might do well on LA material. 00:31:04 Speaker 1: We don't actually do that. 00:31:06 Speaker 2: This is more of an instinctive. 00:31:07 Speaker 5: Again, I keep these things separate. I do think I could make some really positive changes to the NRA. 00:31:17 Speaker 2: Change him from within. 00:31:18 Speaker 1: I guess I'll go enjoying a guy who's gay. You know how that is like a strain of resistance comedy that all Republicans are actually gay, you know? And that's bad. That's why they are so bad, because they're gay. You should make out with Trump. 00:31:44 Speaker 4: A palatial estate or an inspirational debate? 00:31:52 Speaker 1: You want to take this one? Not really. It's not sparking anything for me. Inspirational debate. Are you each reading the ones that you wrote? Correct. Okay. Okay. 00:32:04 Speaker 2: That is a question, but very helpful. 00:32:06 Speaker 1: I don't have points or anything. 00:32:08 Speaker 2: Objection. Your honor or ejaculation. 00:32:11 Speaker 1: I'm honored. Oh, boy. I love the idea of ejaculation being treated with that much respect. 00:32:19 Speaker 2: Well, it's about time. 00:32:21 Speaker 1: Yeah, ejaculation, I'm on it. And we're picking which one is straight. Stop this. I cannot believe you. I will when you will. The Chesapeake Bay Bridge or your recipe for baked ribs? And that's the last one? Of mine. Oh, my God. I didn't know there was a bridge. I have lots of family in Baltimore, so I'll say that the other one. Bridge, bridge. Yeah, okay. 00:32:45 Speaker 2: War and peace or poop and piss? 00:32:49 Speaker 1: War and peace for me. Poop and piss. 00:32:50 Speaker 2: Wow. 00:32:52 Speaker 4: This, I must say, a little peek behind the curtain. You know, this is something we do every time, but we're, of course, sort of, we know you guys are. 00:33:00 Speaker 2: We wanted to see what you would do with it. 00:33:02 Speaker 4: Tough, and we know that you, you know, you run your podcast like the damn Marines. 00:33:09 Speaker 1: You do it every time? 00:33:11 Speaker 4: So we do it every time, and George, but we're intimidated. We're intimidated, and George said, I don't know if we should do it this time. And I said, I really think we need to stick to our guns. 00:33:20 Speaker 1: And do what we do. 00:33:21 Speaker 3: But I will say that was the most painful version of it. 00:33:25 Speaker 1: This is a great moment to have this conversation. I think it is time to phase it out. I think you guys are so smart and so funny. Let me say this. I can see you guys mainly from your incredible clips, as I told Sam. Someone else was bringing up the Joe clips to me today, which to me are now like their own genre. It's hit after hit from that episode. 00:33:45 Speaker 2: I want to push back a little bit on the idea that the reason I didn't want to do it is because I'm intimidated by you guys. 00:33:50 Speaker 1: I don't see any other reason. The sweet one, right? He could never invent something like that. It's not that I was intimidated. I'm intimidated by you guys. I got intimidated. We're intimidated, yes. 00:34:01 Speaker 3: I was just like, if we do it with them, because they're such incredible improvisers, it will take 25 minutes. 00:34:06 Speaker 4: Well, I wouldn't say that. Do you guys even have an improv background? 00:34:10 Speaker 1: I never was trained. See, I'm not even trying with this stuff. He does it and I quit a long time ago. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. 00:34:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, and of course you need training to be an improviser. I mean, they have a podcast background. Yeah, that's right. We talk about how- Are you trained in podcasting? 00:34:25 Speaker 1: Our first write-up. You know what? 00:34:29 Speaker 5: Let's throw a bunch of people with no training at all up to do an improv show and see how that works out. Because I think you said you need training to be an improviser in a very dismissive and. 00:34:42 Speaker 2: Sort of rude way. I thought we were connecting. 00:34:45 Speaker 1: Well, you guys are the mean ones. We're not the mean ones. I actually do think. 00:34:50 Speaker 2: You do think that improv should be taught in public schools with government funding? 00:34:56 Speaker 4: Yes. 00:34:59 Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't ever see that segment in the clips. And so I think you know. 00:35:06 Speaker 2: You know, I think you're. 00:35:06 Speaker 3: Pointing to a very true idea, which is like, if it was better, it would be in

the clips. It would be a clip sooner or later. 00:35:15 Speaker 2: And to be perfectly honest, peek behind the curtain, I have been wanting to phase it out as well. 00:35:19 Speaker 1: It's Sam's baby. It's Sam's baby, I can see. It was Sam's idea. It's not my idea. 00:35:23 Speaker 2: It wasn't Sam's idea. 00:35:25 Speaker 1: Yeah. First of all. I noticed the words sound alike. in the options. The thing is, I. 00:35:37 Speaker 4: Sort of think the structure, the way our show has a form is nice. We do the first 20 so minutes saying whatever the hell we want, then we say enough. Then we do that segment, so we both signify to each other, we're moving on. 00:35:51 Speaker 1: And it just gets us in the water. Just gets us in the damn water. 00:35:55 Speaker 2: The second half usually is when we go into the straight topic. 00:35:58 Speaker 1: What's the one that you're trying to capture that you did from a previous episode that you're like, we know this can work because we did da-da-da or da-da-da? 00:36:09 Speaker 2: I have one that I really thought was genius. Would you like to hear it? 00:36:14 Speaker 1: I don't think you should entertain this. More than anything. 00:36:16 Speaker 2: You're saying I'm following their rules? 00:36:18 Speaker 1: You're being baited. They're being Z-Way right now. 00:36:21 Speaker 2: No matter what I say, then it's going to be like, slight awkward silence, and then laughter. 00:36:26 Speaker 1: What if we don't like that? I know that I'll never, I wasn't in the moment, so I'll never totally be able to capture what it means to you. But it's helpful for me to know as I weigh in on whether to ever do this segment again, because right now I am a no. I don't think anyone thinks this was the best one. I don't. Who was the guest? 00:36:46 Speaker 3: We're not soliciting feedback about whether to do it again from you guys. 00:36:50 Speaker 1: You just happen to be here. 00:36:51 Speaker 4: Should you be? 00:36:51 Speaker 1: I don't know. 00:36:52 Speaker 5: You immediately entertained the idea of phasing it out and said it was something you had been thinking about. 00:36:57 Speaker 1: These are private conversations. Someone you respect like. 00:36:59 Speaker 5: Hayes affirming maybe some of your concerns. 00:37:03 Speaker 1: Loving the show so much, admiring it. They're trying to destroy us because they're jealous of the Hulu deal. Admiring the show so much and wanting it to make this leap now that it's going on Hulu. Who's our contacted Hulu? Should we call them and ask if this segment was part of? We actually have not been given an email. Okay. Okay. 00:37:20 Speaker 2: We're not really part of the Hulu deal. 00:37:23 Speaker 3: They are training the Hulu AI on our likeness and specifically on the straight shooter segment. And they are generating an infinite number of slightly rhyming phrases and making it into a mobile game that will. 00:37:38 Speaker 2: Be hosted by Maria Menounos. 00:37:41 Speaker 1: I know what went wrong. With Otzko's hair. 00:37:43 Speaker 2: It's gonna be Maria Menounos with Otzko's hair. 00:37:45 Speaker 1: It's a combination of all their properties. I know what went wrong. With this one? With this one. Oh, okay. 00:37:52 Speaker 2: Now you're letting them win by admitting it went wrong. 00:37:54 Speaker 1: Here's what went wrong. I think we have to admit it went wrong. This is a nightmare. We're living in a nightmare. I think what went wrong is, you know, you're supposed to just sort of move quickly through it. 00:38:04 Speaker 2: It's rapid fire. 00:38:05 Speaker 1: It's supposed to be quick. It's supposed to not be thought about very much. To sit with it. 00:38:09 Speaker 5: But do you usually give a tiny bit more description before doing it? 00:38:15 Speaker 3: There was a point when you guys started asking questions and I thought in my head, They're doing a genius bit, which is their thing is gonna be asking a bunch of questions, because they know that's the thing they're not supposed to do. But then you were sort of switching back and forth between questions and statements. 00:38:29 Speaker 2: You couldn't decide. 00:38:30 Speaker 1: I think Hayes was doing the question thing the entire time. You weren't responding to me, but I was asking, because you were with something loud in your head, I. 00:38:37 Speaker 2: Guess, while I was speaking. 00:38:38 Speaker 5: I'm a little more of a rule follower, where I just feel like I got in trouble for my first question. And I think also the questions I asked were things that I wanted to know. 00:38:50 Speaker 1: I'll tell you, from our perspective, from the guest's perspective, I'm thinking, is this like a would you rather type scenario where I'm supposed to be teasing it out in a funny way, explaining our responses in ways that are funny? And I took a couple swings at that. This is why you're upset. Because it's not about that. For a clip, for example, for a useful clip, it starts with the prompt and then you explore that in the. 00:39:23 Speaker 2: You think it's all about clips. 00:39:26 Speaker 1: I know it's all about clips. I've been in the game for a couple days. 00:39:33 Speaker 3: The clips are to get people in, get people in, get people logging on to Hulu.com so that they can watch this. 00:39:40 Speaker 5: Okay, so theoretically, if that was true, then if the clips were to get people in, then the show would be to keep them in. 00:39:51 Speaker 2: Let's say you've made it this far into this conversation. Don't you want to see how it ends? 00:39:55 Speaker 1: You're in. Are you turning it off now? This conversation, yes. Let me do the segment itself. But this is the segment. 00:40:02 Speaker 2: This conversation would not be happening without the segment. 00:40:04 Speaker 4: The segment provided this conversation. 00:40:06 Speaker 1: So I think that is worthwhile in a way. It's a conversation piece. I don't think it's sustainable. What I want to know is... It's been sustained for six

years. It's been sustained for six years? Does this conversation happen every episode? I don't think that's sustainable. I'm sort of interested in that. Yes. I don't think that's sustainable. 00:40:24 Speaker 2: So what is your next complaint? 00:40:26 Speaker 1: It's not a complaint. It is a real question. Instead of answering the prompt that you think works really well, I do want to know the guest because what you're actually thinking about is how they made you feel. 00:40:38 Speaker 3: When you said it. It's actually not at all what I'm thinking of because you have, this is, this segment, this segment is us saying like little, making little wordplay jokes and then everyone's like. 00:40:51 Speaker 2: Ha ha ha ha ha. It's purely. 00:40:54 Speaker 1: Not everyone. Do you know what he's thinking of? I think I actually do. What do you think? Is this a trap? I mean, if it's not a vulnerable thing, then you should be able to just say it. He said careful to me at one point. I went to turn to ask a question to him and he went, careful. So we made our guest on a scale of, to me, it sounds like a simple question about the show. 00:41:17 Speaker 3: When I said careful, it was a joke. One of them was like, one of the options was like gay related. So I was making the joke like, careful, don't be homophobic. 00:41:24 Speaker 1: Sort of a light jab. Just fun. It would be helpful to say that at the very beginning. What, that there's... Just careful, don't do this. They'll be rude about that stuff. Before I even get on the show. 00:41:35 Speaker 2: Would you have been less rude if I had said in the beginning? 00:41:37 Speaker 1: I just would have been like. 00:41:38 Speaker 3: Did you think I wanted you to be rude? 00:41:40 Speaker 1: The rules of the show are just like, we usually set them out kind of at the very beginning. You guys? 00:41:45 Speaker 2: You guys do. 00:41:47 Speaker 1: Famously, you don't. We do. 00:41:48 Speaker 2: You have some... Do you think Paul Feig knew the rules coming in? 00:41:52 Speaker 1: He. 00:41:54 Speaker 1: I think almost more than anyone acquitted himself admirably. He did the entire show like straight shooter where like- Just saying rhymes? We would say something. 00:42:05 Speaker 5: Just a light little sort of wordplay, like quippy, witty response, one sentence, and then on to the next thing. 00:42:13 Speaker 1: Right. 00:42:14 Speaker 2: So he was engaging with it. 00:42:15 Speaker 5: When I say on the next thing, it means looking at us, being like, now you go on to the next thing. 00:42:19 Speaker 1: But engaging with it. Not blowing us off. He was clip mining. 00:42:23 Speaker 2: He was clip mining live. 00:42:25 Speaker 1: We could have gotten 50, 60 clips out of that episode. I didn't see any clips from that episode. It was a super cut. That episode was a super cut. Thank you. That is what happened. Those have traditionally not done great for us. It genuinely was. Yes. 00:42:43 Speaker 2: Got it. 00:42:44 Speaker 1: Because of the rapid fire. Because there wasn't a chunk. There was no conversation that happened. Interesting. 00:42:52 Speaker 2: Your score is zero. 00:42:56 Speaker 1: And they never said. They were never willing to open up about a moment they enjoyed on the show that you love. 00:43:04 Speaker 2: Move on to the next part of the podcast. 00:43:07 Speaker 1: Okay. So this is. And I'm scoring you as well. And at the end of the episode, I will give you your score. 00:43:14 Speaker 2: Anyone can score anyone. I can be like, I'm making a lot. 00:43:18 Speaker 1: That's my point. Yeah. Do you guys struggle with being guests? I think I made it clear that I struggle with everything. Except for getting work. Hello. We're having a good year. Christmas is going to hit different in your household. 00:43:42 Speaker 2: Who's having a better year, you or Anne Hathaway? 00:43:45 Speaker 1: Oh, great question. 00:43:46 Speaker 3: She's in four films and pregnant, but people are accusing her of having a fake baby bump. 00:43:50 Speaker 2: Your thoughts? 00:43:51 Speaker 1: People love that dinosaur movie. Yeah, they do. Wait, what did you say? Okay, yeah. 00:43:59 Speaker 2: Sorry if you know everyone involved. 00:44:00 Speaker 5: Someone else told me not to see it, but they were. 00:44:02 Speaker 1: I do feel like. 00:44:03 Speaker 2: No, you can see it. It's like a fun day at the movies, but it's bad. 00:44:06 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think people are lying about that one. I was going to go see it today. Lying about it being good? Yeah. I mean, I haven't seen it, but. Did you see people liking it and say like, I can get in here a little bit? Yes. 00:44:17 Speaker 5: Yeah. 00:44:18 Speaker 2: I was like, because it. 00:44:18 Speaker 1: Well, I don't know. 00:44:20 Speaker 2: I mean, it's the director of It Follows. I was like, sure. Oh, It Follows. 00:44:23 Speaker 1: I love Under the Silver Lake. 00:44:25 Speaker 2: Do you actually? 00:44:26 Speaker 1: Yes, I do. 00:44:26 Speaker 3: Okay, because I need to. I've been hearing more and more about. I thought people didn't like it. 00:44:30 Speaker 1: They didn't. 00:44:31 Speaker 5: I think the initial response was negative and it now has like a cult following. 00:44:37 Speaker 2: I'm all in. 00:44:38 Speaker 5: I watched it after the, you know, theatrical. I think I watched a few years after it came out. I was like, oh, this is cool. It's cool. 00:44:45 Speaker 1: I did one of those three hour long podcasts about it. A guy does a horror movie podcast and invited me on and I thought about Under the Silver Lake for a really long time. Was it Brett? No, I don't think so. Never mind. Okay, so what's your straight top? I have to pick between me or Anne Hathaway. I feel like I'm still doing straight shooter. It's like I'm still doing straight shooter. It's all straight shooter. I guess Anne Hathaway is probably having a better year. 00:45:19 Speaker 2: Well, at least you admit it. 00:45:31 Speaker 1: So what is your

straight topic today? 00:45:34 Speaker 2: And what is straight about it? 00:45:36 Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Well, you know, I presented you with two options. Do you want to say both? 00:45:41 Speaker 2: You can say both. 00:45:43 Speaker 5: The first option I said was pocket knives, which we said also could extend into like everyday carry as like a phenomenon. And then the other option that I mentioned was talking about something that you almost did, but then ended. 00:46:01 Speaker 1: Up Not doing. Yes. 00:46:03 Speaker 3: So pocket knives, of course, you know, it's kind of like a handheld weapon. It's something that gestures towards the idea of a weapon. 00:46:13 Speaker 2: And also gestures. 00:46:15 Speaker 1: More like needing to do a project. 00:46:16 Speaker 2: Yeah, like resourcefulness. The idea of the outdoors, resourcefulness. 00:46:19 Speaker 1: Being prepared. A little microdose of survivalism. Yeah. Yes, survivalism for sure. Needing to have that out in the world. Yes. 00:46:27 Speaker 2: I want to know about. 00:46:29 Speaker 1: Researching. 00:46:31 Speaker 2: Researching the knives. Right, researching the knives. 00:46:33 Speaker 1: That's part of it. 00:46:34 Speaker 3: I want to know about the second one and maybe some examples that compelled you to bring it. 00:46:41 Speaker 5: What made me think about it was, as he mentioned, we have other podcasts on our Patreon, and one of them is the two of us with Carl Tarr. And there was a time that we all kind of walked down memory lane with sports, both what we had done or achieved and what we think we could have done or like. 00:47:05 Speaker 1: Sports we didn't try or didn't pursue. I should have played this game. 00:47:09 Speaker 5: And the, you know, commentary on the episode was very like, well, people will love this episode if they want to hear, you know, three dudes talk about like sports they didn't play but think they could have been good at. And it felt to me like, The word straight was not in there, but it felt like a dismissal of us that was sort of damning. And then I thought about that and other things like that. There was one rock band at my high school, and at one point they asked me to come and audition to be the singer, and I prepared. the night before and then I went up and I went to start and I just panicked and like couldn't get the timing right. And then was like, I'm actually just gonna like groove with you guys. I probably won't do this at all. 00:48:04 Speaker 1: But I think I could have done good. What song did you sing? 00:48:06 Speaker 5: Well, it was, they were playing, I think Smells Like Teen Spirit was the song that they wanted me to sing and that I just kind of didn't get. And so, but I think about that and I'm sure have told the story multiple times before of like something, I almost was the singer for this band in school. And I don't know, for some reason it feels straight to me to be like, there's this sort of buffet of things that I can do anything I want.

00:48:33 Speaker 1: And I think I would be good at any of them. 00:48:35 Speaker 5: Of course, I've only done a couple of things and I'm just sort of okay at them. But there were a lot of paths that had I taken them, you would be very impressed by me. 00:48:45 Speaker 2: Completely. 00:48:47 Speaker 3: It's like an overconfidence. It's like, if this job interview had gone differently, which by the way, it didn't because they didn't get me. 00:48:54 Speaker 2: Then I would have had this. 00:48:56 Speaker 5: Yes, my big failed job interview. The worst job interview I ever had is them missing the bit. 00:49:02 Speaker 1: They didn't get it. These fucking losers. And it's not that I completely misread the situation and fucked up. 00:49:12 Speaker 3: And also, I'm thinking of former high school or college athlete who's now kind of like a debut sort of like whatever, has some job he doesn't like and is like. 00:49:23 Speaker 1: I could have been somebody. Things just had to break one way or the other. Yes, exactly. 00:49:27 Speaker 3: And also, not to get too political, but it reminds me of the idea of a straight. 00:49:33 Speaker 2: Guy thinking that he didn't get a job because of diversity hiring. 00:49:36 Speaker 1: Sure. 00:49:37 Speaker 3: And being like, well, surely. If there wasn't a diversity initiative, I would have, objectively speaking, been the right one. 00:49:44 Speaker 1: If it was five years earlier, that's my job. 00:49:46 Speaker 2: I'm doing that. 00:49:47 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? 00:49:48 Speaker 5: But it's just like the culture, the timing. I got kind of fucked by it. I'm not saying it's bad. 00:49:53 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? 00:49:54 Speaker 2: Good. 00:49:54 Speaker 1: More opportunities. But I would have had that. I totally do that. 00:49:59 Speaker 4: Not about diversity, but like, not with diversity, but like, I go like, well, if I started comedy eight years before, we'd have a Comedy Central show. 00:50:07 Speaker 1: And it's like, that's not true. I never did standup. But I think I would've been pretty good at it. It's pretty straightforward. I think I would've done okay. 00:50:17 Speaker 2: Interesting that you think you do need training for improv, but not for standup. 00:50:21 Speaker 5: No, I don't think I would've been good the first time I did it, which is why I also not like, I'll go do it now. I'm like, if I had, at the time that I started improv, either simultaneously or instead started pursuing standup. 00:50:34 Speaker 1: There are shows where I have stories in my back pocket about why I wasn't working on them. But I could have. And if those shows come up, I will tell that story. You will? I mean, in conversation, I do. 00:50:52 Speaker 4: It all the time. 00:50:53 Speaker 2: Even you with the self-awareness of. 00:50:55 Speaker 1: Well, they have to know. It's for the same reason that... like leaving the business gets you like, oh well that's why I am not doing all these other things that I could do, because I'm doing something else. But for these other shows, they have to know that it wasn't that I wasn't allowed to do them. I decided that. I got asked to showcase for Lorne. I got asked to showcase for Lorne. I didn't do it. 00:51:23 Speaker 4: Now. 00:51:24 Speaker 1: I almost did. 00:51:26 Speaker 2: Well you almost got asked. 00:51:28 Speaker 1: No, I did get asked. But you said no. 00:51:30 Speaker 2: You said no. 00:51:31 Speaker 1: Yes. He didn't do it. It's true. How come? 00:51:33 Speaker 2: Is this real? 00:51:36 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:51:37 Speaker 5: I was, my friend and I had just gotten a pilot ordered at Comedy Central. 00:51:44 Speaker 1: I was very happy living in Los Angeles. I was writing on Workaholics. 00:51:49 Speaker 5: I had, you know, who's now my wife. We were together, living together. She had a, I was like, and again, it's, An overestimation of my ability. I was like, the best case scenario for this, what I thought was actually the likely scenario for this was I will not get added to the cast. 00:52:06 Speaker 1: I will. 00:52:07 Speaker 5: potentially get invited to write for the show and move to New York and make less money and leave this whole life that's coming behind. 00:52:15 Speaker 1: And then I'll be there and be frustrated that I'm not cast. And I was just playing out that. And so now in the story, that would have happened. It would have been cast. You wouldn't have done the showcase that they would have just said, Not for us, thank you. Do you want more details? 00:52:32 Speaker 5: Because I had one good stage monologue character piece that I had done in a show, and my friend went, our whole improv group got asked to perform for him. 00:52:44 Speaker 1: I said no. 00:52:46 Speaker 5: I gave my friend the stage piece, and Lorne laughed at it, and he got flown to New York to audition. 00:52:53 Speaker 1: For the show. But then ultimately did not get it. Did not get it. but it was his original character. So we have to assume it would be one level up from what his friend did. Well, that's crazy. 00:53:02 Speaker 3: So you're like, in order to kind of follow through on this fantasy that you would have gotten the job, you in fact almost use your friend as an avatar, and you're like, to prove to myself that I would have gotten this, you do my piece. But then, of course, the reason he didn't get it is because he didn't have that extra thing that you had. 00:53:19 Speaker 1: Maybe the rest of the stuff also should have been mine. 00:53:21 Speaker 2: Exactly. 00:53:22 Speaker 1: That's true. 00:53:22 Speaker 5: And I actually don't think that, and I think he is a better character. stage performer than I am. 00:53:28 Speaker 1: Okay, the politician has logged on. 00:53:31 Speaker 5: But I do think I could have been invited to write and I think that it would be really hard to say no because it's such an institution and it's such a, but I said no. But again, this is a great story of something I almost did and

didn't do that I sort of secretly think I could have succeeded at. 00:53:48 Speaker 4: My version is I think if I had come out of the closet earlier, I think I would have been a dancer. 00:53:52 Speaker 1: Oh! 00:53:54 Speaker 4: Firmly believe this. I have incredible rhythm. Incredible rhythm, all kinds. I think I would be trained in ballet, of course, but then it would go more modern and eventually probably into more of a dance space. 00:54:07 Speaker 1: Where do you picture yourself, what does that career look like in your mind? Or is it now, like you're seeing these clips come. 00:54:18 Speaker 2: I think all the dance clips. 00:54:20 Speaker 1: All the dance, well, of course. And now you would have been one of the ones where the camera is always following you wherever you go. It moves too much. I hate that, actually. I'm like, let the dance speak for itself. You would not have done that. No, of course not. I have taste. That wouldn't even be popular because his video would be popular. And I would say cameras still. 00:54:37 Speaker 2: It would have never caught on. It would have been all about still camera. 00:54:40 Speaker 4: I remember there was a point when I was like 10 years old and a friend, a girl was like, I'm taking a dance class. 00:54:48 Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, I actually want to do that. And my parents were like, no. Right. Like, you're going to be good. 00:54:53 Speaker 2: You're a guy. 00:54:54 Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, T. 00:54:56 Speaker 3: But I guess I don't want to push back on this in a violent way, but I've never, do you have any interest in dance as an art form? 00:55:08 Speaker 4: Oh my God, George, of course. I watched America's Next Best Dance Crew on MTV. 00:55:14 Speaker 1: Every fucking night. And I would call in to vote. 00:55:23 Speaker 2: So you think you would be like a hip hop dancer? 00:55:26 Speaker 1: No, I would have gone in the more alt direction, of course. I know my role. 00:55:29 Speaker 2: Alt as in like- Thank you. I guess I've never heard of the genre of alt dance. 00:55:36 Speaker 4: Okay, well, if you watched America's Next Best Dance Crew, you would know the group Fanny Pack. 00:55:40 Speaker 2: I see. 00:55:41 Speaker 1: I'm pointing, I'm like, please. 00:55:42 Speaker 2: And is Fanny Pack, does that not count as hip hop, broadly speaking? 00:55:46 Speaker 1: Do you remember them? I don't know anything. Were they sort of comedic? Okay, what's that? 00:55:50 Speaker 2: Yeah, were they comedic? Yeah, did they do comedic? 00:55:53 Speaker 1: Comedy? Yeah. Yes. 00:55:58 Speaker 5: Okay, someone hasn't watched Steve Martin's Masterclass and it shows. 00:56:08 Speaker 3: If I had watched that, I would have gotten SNL. If I had watched Steve Martin's Masterclass, I chose not to. 00:56:14 Speaker 1: That may have been the missing piece. 00:56:15 Speaker 3: But I chose not to because I didn't want to... It's like then if I get offered it, I would have to choose whether or not I want to move to New York. And at the time, I had just sold a show in LA and was dating the woman who's now my wife. 00:56:27 Speaker 1: And the pilot, just to close that, did not get made. No, it got made. It did not get ordered. You made it without the order. 00:56:36 Speaker 2: We, it got- Gotta make your own stuff. 00:56:38 Speaker 1: We didn't want it to be- Just go out and fucking shoot. 00:56:42 Speaker 2: Just like make cool shit with your friends. 00:56:44 Speaker 1: At Grok, make this script. 00:56:48 Speaker 2: Yeah, have you fed it to Grok? 00:56:51 Speaker 1: Might be time. 00:56:55 Speaker 4: But basically I think it would be sort of, sure there's hip hop, but it's also more conceptual, you know, it's shapes and. 00:57:01 Speaker 1: Stuff like that. 00:57:02 Speaker 2: Oh, so it's more shape based? 00:57:03 Speaker 1: It's shape based dance. Julio, sort of, type stuff. 00:57:08 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to see Julio do a dance. 00:57:14 Speaker 1: So George, what would you have done? 00:57:17 Speaker 2: Well, you know, I have many eras, as everyone knows. 00:57:20 Speaker 1: That's true. 00:57:21 Speaker 2: I've worked in so many other industries. Never succeeded in any of them. 00:57:25 Speaker 1: But, of course... In journalism, let's say. 00:57:27 Speaker 2: Yes, I did. I worked in journalism. I worked in academia. I worked in tech. 00:57:33 Speaker 3: Somehow, I was always, like, the one... I do think, in a real way, and I can't believe I'm saying this, there is part of my... In the back of my mind, there's always a thought that's like, I was too smart for that. for everything. And it's like a reason, like the reason I have failed at everything is because I'm too smart. 00:57:51 Speaker 1: George, let me assure you that people, I'm sure, do talk about you that way. People think of George as very smart. Thank you. It's working. 00:58:03 Speaker 2: Well, it's not on a broader level. 00:58:05 Speaker 1: And abandoning Street Shooter, I think, would really finish. Go a long way towards cementing that. It would finish the job. So yeah, I guess- So much we just have to present at United Front. 00:58:18 Speaker 5: But you don't have, but you feel this is not a trait that you feel you possess, the talking about something you almost did. 00:58:24 Speaker 1: No, no, no. 00:58:25 Speaker 2: I think. 00:58:30 Speaker 2: I think I possess it, but not in a. 00:58:34 Speaker 2: I'm glad those things didn't work out, I guess. 00:58:36 Speaker 3: I don't possess it in a way where I'm like, I'm bitter now, and I'm like, God, if that had worked, I could have been somebody there. It's more like, I think about like, what if I had stayed working in tech and now been like super rich, but had an empty life where I'm, I, cause I know people who are like this, where it's like, they worked at some tech company. They had crazy stock options are insanely rich now, but I talked to them and. 00:59:02 Speaker 2: I feel bad for them. 00:59:04 Speaker 3: And I'm

like, and maybe that's a defense mechanism where I'm like, oh, it's good that I didn't make all that money because I would be sad. 00:59:11 Speaker 2: So maybe there's like a- That's a great way to feel. 00:59:13 Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? That's awesome. Yes. 00:59:15 Speaker 5: Because it is, could not pay me to train. 00:59:19 Speaker 1: With this successful person. 00:59:20 Speaker 2: I do that for SNL, too. 00:59:22 Speaker 1: Because the assumption is over SNL that you would have gotten it. The thought experiment is never, what if I tried to do this and eaten shit? And been destroyed by it. 00:59:31 Speaker 2: And been one of those people that's on it for one season. 00:59:33 Speaker 1: As close as I did, yeah. And even in that version. You get on the show. 00:59:39 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I would be on it. 00:59:42 Speaker 4: Mm-hmm. 00:59:44 Speaker 2: I would be kind of like the gay Jenny Slate. 00:59:47 Speaker 1: Yes, that's exactly... Many people are calling you that. Well, yes. Exactly. 00:59:51 Speaker 2: Too smart for her own good. 00:59:56 Speaker 1: So you were suggesting that you don't think this is necessarily a straight... topic when. 01:00:01 Speaker 5: We introduced it as a straight topic you said that a lot of uh you know i said i said that in a knee-jerk way let me think if i it's a. 01:00:08 Speaker 1: Very like glory days yes it's a genius. 01:00:12 Speaker 3: Straight topic for that reason because there's like a bitterness there i think. 01:00:16 Speaker 5: The high school athlete thing is like the the first thing that sparked it for me but then i did expand it into like i think i still have this mentality yes. 01:00:25 Speaker 3: I think that here's what it okay from a comedy perspective Something that is sometimes difficult is performing for a lot of gay men because what gay men think is that if they were to get on stage, they would be the funniest person in the room because it is inherently, they are inherently witty and quippy and like in their friend group, they're the funny one. And so who does this guy think he is? He doesn't even have like a six pack. 01:00:50 Speaker 1: I don't, do you think that that is also not a straight thing? It is a bit that we do on the show where someone says something that they're doing. successfully and we're like, ah, I gotta get into designing videos. I have to do that. I have to do that. It's just like, I haven't gotten around to it, but since you're doing it. 01:01:10 Speaker 5: My life is so full that I haven't been able to sort of dabble in the thing that is your life. 01:01:15 Speaker 1: And if you can do it, I definitely can. Yes. 01:01:18 Speaker 5: I do think, yeah, I hear what you're saying about gay audiences specifically, but I think that they're, it may just be. 01:01:30 Speaker 5: Some amount of like toxic masculinity to always think that you would be good at something and overestimate yourself. 01:01:36 Speaker 1: And that like, for the most part. And I just want

to say right now, I'm bowing out. I've seen the comments on this type of clip. I can feel it forming. Lesbians are like this. I'm not participating. 01:01:53 Speaker 2: But there's proof to what I'm saying. There are more successful lesbian comedians, like Ellen, Rosie, Wanda, Paula Poundstone. 01:02:00 Speaker 3: There is a rich history. And then they have respectful lesbian women fans that are like, thank you for speaking for all of us. A gay guy would never say thank you for speaking for all of us. 01:02:11 Speaker 1: But gay men love lesbian comedians too. 01:02:13 Speaker 2: Well, that's true, because they're not threatened by them. 01:02:15 Speaker 1: Yes. And they can still be like, the lesbian can be like, and you, who's the top? 01:02:19 Speaker 4: Yes. 01:02:19 Speaker 1: And they go, ah! 01:02:20 Speaker 2: We're going to edit this so that it's you guys saying this stuff. 01:02:24 Speaker 1: At Grok. Make it so they say it. You're not participating. 01:02:28 Speaker 4: Do not talk about lesbians. I think this topic is interesting as like a little kid thing. It's so little kid to be like, and then I was going to do this. 01:02:36 Speaker 1: Like, oh, and then. And it's like, well, you didn't do any. But it's like they play it out in their head. And it's like. You didn't do anything. You didn't do anything. That's the story. So many of the stories are I didn't do anything. But you have to. People have to know that you could. Yeah. I think that. I could have an incredible body. Is that good? 01:03:01 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, well, I choose to be casual about my gym. You know, like to me it's like a social space. 01:03:06 Speaker 1: Yes. Well, and it's one of the least casual people about the gym that I personally know. Sam? Yes, but I'm not in that world. 01:03:15 Speaker 3: So here's the thing with Sam's relationship to the gym. He's very regimented about going, but when he's there, it's about having fun. He's not like, I'll be like, so is today, like arm day or whatever. 01:03:25 Speaker 1: He's like, it's not about that. It's like, why are we trying to define that? 01:03:28 Speaker 2: He's not trying for games at all. 01:03:30 Speaker 1: Okay. 01:03:31 Speaker 3: He just thinks it's the right thing to do to have balance of body and mind. 01:03:35 Speaker 4: Sometimes I swim, sometimes I run, who knows? Just having fun out there. When people are like, literally. 01:03:43 Speaker 1: Spirit of the gym. Yeah, you have to, the weights speak to me. And I say, that one wants me. 01:03:48 Speaker 2: To lift it. And you're not writing down how much you lift every day? 01:03:51 Speaker 1: Oh God, no. The moment it's work, I'm out. I work enough. You know how many emails I send? 01:04:00 Speaker 4: The amount of emails I send would kill a Victorian child. So when I go to my gym, it's to get in touch with my spirit. When people are like, I'm not getting enough calories, I'm like, don't count that stuff. 01:04:17 Speaker 1: That's fake. I don't know if it's fake, but maybe it is. Someone believes everything they're told. I sort of, a study that has stuck with me. I'm still not sure you do that segment every single episode. I know, I sort of wondered if I was getting tricked about that as well. So you guys are really bad about the segment. Because we do that. So that is projection, because we'll do a segment. 01:04:39 Speaker 2: You're coming in, yeah, you've met your match. 01:04:42 Speaker 1: We'll preface it by saying that we do this every episode. We always do this, we always ask people. You guys have trauma from traumatizing others. This is crazy. That's crazy. 01:04:53 Speaker 3: Because you play these mind games with the likes of Paul Feig. 01:04:56 Speaker 1: We can't trust anyone. And in the same way that I was trying to get George to share a positive memory so I could destroy it for him. As George said, well, I know what I would do with that information. And I don't want it done to me. Wow. That's so scary. 01:05:12 Speaker 4: Does anyone ever get genuinely upset on your podcast? 01:05:14 Speaker 1: All the time. 01:05:15 Speaker 2: Not all the time. 01:05:16 Speaker 1: Not all the time. We have a short list. 01:05:18 Speaker 2: It's not. And I know one of the stories. Last time I was on, you told me a story about one of them. Yes, that is true. 01:05:26 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:05:26 Speaker 2: And she's been chased out of the industry since then. 01:05:33 Speaker 1: Who could it be? Now it's our turn to squirm. I will tell you that Sarah squirm. 01:05:42 Speaker 3: She did something crazy when she came on our podcast, which is that. Her straight topic was Jackass, the film franchise. 01:05:49 Speaker 2: Slash TV show. 01:05:51 Speaker 3: Slash TV show, of course. And we had this whole, she was very funny. We had a great conversation about Jackass as a straight topic. We hung up the Zoom. She had been a full-on writer and producer on the Jackass movie that was coming out. 01:06:05 Speaker 1: Right. 01:06:05 Speaker 3: So the entire time she was doing promo for, she didn't mention it the entire time. 01:06:11 Speaker 1: I forgot about that. 01:06:12 Speaker 2: That was kind of a crazy thing. 01:06:13 Speaker 4: No, that was actually kind of, It was sort of like punk rock in like a corporate way. 01:06:19 Speaker 1: I'll tell you, so I'm working in specifics. I'll tell you all the shows that I could have worked on. Okay, please. Yes, please. Gemstones. I had done the two previous McBride shows. 100% you would have worked on that. We can't have people walking around thinking, oh, did they not ask me back for number three? You quit. They all moved. I mean, like they're saying this Sean's thing. Like they all moved to Charleston. Did they ask me to fly out and participate? Yes, of course they did. can I not watch the show now because I don't want to see what I missed out on? You don't want to enjoy it. Sure, is that weird? And I tell him that. I tell him I don't like it. 01:06:53

Speaker 3: The idea that I would ever watch a comedy, a television comedy in this day and age, you have to be joking. 01:06:59 Speaker 1: Thank you, yes. It doesn't mean the same thing to us. 01:07:03 Speaker 5: Well, there's no good version of watching a comedy. 01:07:05 Speaker 3: No, I just mean in terms of, it's, I need something that no one I know is involved in at all. I'm rewatching Desperate Housewives. 01:07:13 Speaker 5: Well, here are the options when you watch a comedy. It is bad, and you think it's bad. And you think, why the fuck did they make this and not my thing? It is bad, and people say it's good, and you think, I can't believe people say this is good, it's actually bad. 01:07:29 Speaker 1: It is good, and people say it's good, and I'm not involved! There is no version of watching a comedy that is pleasant. If people say it's bad, then it's like, what am I now going to go out and cape for this thing that everyone hates? No, that's the only thing I can do. 01:07:43 Speaker 5: Oh. 01:07:44 Speaker 2: Yeah, that was me with DTS St. Louis. 01:07:45 Speaker 3: If somebody says something's bad. Just because he was bad to Lily Allen, we can't enjoy this show. Also, just the performance of his career. 01:07:52 Speaker 1: It was a good show. 01:07:53 Speaker 2: It was a really good show. Whatever. 01:07:56 Speaker 1: Shadows, Shadows, same thing. It's New York. I had just done a show in New York. I have family here. Was the show I did way less well received than the show that I didn't do? 01:08:12 Speaker 5: Yes. 01:08:13 Speaker 1: It's okay. Well, it's the gym. You couldn't give up that membership. I took on the gym after that maybe to kind of exercise. I mean, they call it exercising demons, right? Yeah. Uh, and what's the other, the bear, of course, the bear. 01:08:29 Speaker 2: Did you want to write on the bear? 01:08:31 Speaker 1: No, that didn't want to met Chris through, uh, through political stuff. Actually got an email from his producer saying, I got something that we're working on. We'd love to talk to you about it. Didn't respond to the email. I have decided that it was the bear. And that again, like it wasn't even like the showcase, uh, I don't know if they even had a name for it at the time. So in my head, I was like, Untitled Cooking Project I would have developed it with them into. 01:09:01 Speaker 2: Something even more special Untitled Cooking Project not like Untitled Restaurant or Chef Untitled Cooking. 01:09:07 Speaker 4: Project Okay, I think it's time for our final segment. Our final segment is called, What Did You Do To Your Hair This Morning? Where we each say what we did to our hair this morning to make it look like what it is. 01:09:28 Speaker 1: Wow. 01:09:29 Speaker 2: Yeah, Hayes, you go first, and I think that'll be good. 01:09:31 Speaker 1: I mean, maybe everyone feels this way. This actually feels the most targeted I've ever felt. Well, Hayes' hair is a big topic of conversation. It feels like I'm waking

up. 01:09:40 Speaker 2: Literally, it's like, what are you doing? 01:09:44 Speaker 1: So it feels like I'm waking up from a dream. This is proof that this is a dream because I'm self-conscious about my hair today. Really? Thank you so much for saying that. I have gone one day longer not washing it than I normally go. How many days is that? This is day four. So I'm like, it stinks. 01:10:07 Speaker 2: That's what they're all talking about. 01:10:08 Speaker 1: We are having the opposite. 01:10:10 Speaker 3: I washed my hair this morning and I didn't put any product in it because I forgot it at home. And so I'm insecure that it's sort of just like frizzy. 01:10:17 Speaker 1: And that's why I didn't do this because it would be like flopping around in my face. 01:10:21 Speaker 4: See, I didn't wash it and I haven't washed it in a couple days. 01:10:24 Speaker 1: But I'm not counting because I have enough counting to do. Well, I think you know what I did because George and I are always aligned, but I did, I actually played tennis this morning. Oh, wow. I showered after that. I haven't played tennis lately. And I did a full wash, yeah. 01:10:43 Speaker 2: And then no product. 01:10:45 Speaker 1: You know what? 01:10:45 Speaker 5: I put a little bit of beard oil in my beard and then I smeared the leftover into my hair. 01:10:50 Speaker 1: Let me just be very precise about day four. Please. This is the third... morning shower that I have not washed my hair. So I don't know exactly, like day one is effectively day zero. Day one is like, I washed my hair that day. Okay. Well, we got your asses. That's not a real segment. So it was targeted. 01:11:15 Speaker 2: It was completely targeted. That's literally why I was like, Hayes, only you. 01:11:19 Speaker 1: Oh, no. Hayes go first. 01:11:23 Speaker 3: I mean, surely it has crossed your desk that there's been a shift wherein your hair and mustache look perfect. 01:11:33 Speaker 1: Oh, that's great. Oh, thank you so much. I need to hear that. No, it hasn't. It hasn't? No. Is there ever a product that you use? 01:11:41 Speaker 2: I would even go so far as to say your jawline as well. That's great. Maybe it's a lighting issue. 01:11:48 Speaker 1: We need better lighting, that's for damn sure. 01:11:51 Speaker 2: Maybe your switch to journalism. 01:11:53 Speaker 1: You know what I think it actually was? And I feel this very acutely, and it's inexplicable because all the personnel followed us here. Switching networks did wonders for me. I don't know how it happened, but I'll scroll back through our feed, and as soon as we get to HeadGum, I'm like, who the fuck is that? But it was all Casey. Casey's sitting right here. He did that to me then, and for some reason he decided to switch it up. 01:12:20 Speaker 3: He was like, it's time to level up. 01:12:24 Speaker 1: But we talk about the... You did our show on HeadGum. We talk about it nonstop. And I'm actually kind of worried now. I didn't like the visual presentation of that. I'm almost feeling like we're maybe trapped in this again. Those dance videos where the camera follows you everywhere. HeadGum was like that for your. 01:12:44 Speaker 4: crotch. 01:12:47 Speaker 1: The camera was always pointed. Center of the frame was the crotch line across the couches. 01:12:54 Speaker 5: And the couches were sort of tilted so that you had to kind of. 01:12:58 Speaker 1: Pushing you up. 01:12:59 Speaker 2: I do remember that. I do remember being like, huh. I didn't know that. And you were like, what's so much speed? 01:13:05 Speaker 5: The lens must somehow be angled or something so that that's not what the view is. 01:13:09 Speaker 1: But no, it was the view always. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. But that network I think was built around Nick Weiger. who, he looks amazing on the HeadGum camera. He did stuff to his hair and also wears these shorts. He's got a stylist now and stuff. He's figuring it out in a big way. So they pick someone. 01:13:32 Speaker 5: So it's like, he's presented appropriately. Now this one is apparently built around making Hayes look good. 01:13:38 Speaker 1: I'm here to support him in that. 01:13:39 Speaker 2: Of course, he needs that. 01:13:40 Speaker 1: We support each other in different ways. very successful in his career. I'm doing that instead. I have a mustache. Well, that was our final segment. Yeah, so thank you guys for doing the pod. Oh, thanks for having us on. I think this has been really amazing. 01:13:59 Speaker 2: And where can people find you? 01:14:02 Speaker 1: Oh my God. We do this too. Every time we ask that, we also do a little laugh. We can't actually be asked. We don't actually care. 01:14:15 Speaker 5: We have Hollywood Handbook. That's a show that's on iHeart now. Then we have a Patreon called Hollywood Handbook and Friends. Hayes has the LA Material. That's his newsletter. 01:14:26 Speaker 1: LAMaterial.com. You sign up for free. And I just want to sincerely say I love it. It's amazing. I love going out and reporting little stories. I love knocking doors. You're a full-on reporter. Which I do a lot now. I did a story about this thing going on in Venice the other week. And I just had the time of my life. I loved it. 01:14:46 Speaker 2: Can I ask you something? 01:14:48 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:14:49 Speaker 2: Is this your first time doing something like this? 01:14:52 Speaker 1: I did a podcast about LA stuff years ago. It's my first time doing long form. Get this. I wrote this story. It ended up on long form, actual long form. And I was just like, I was over the moon. I was so proud of myself. It's been really fun. 01:15:09 Speaker 2: It's genuinely incredibly inspiring. 01:15:11 Speaker 1: I did high school newspaper. I've always wanted to do this. Yeah. I really like it a lot. I got a movie. There's a movie up on Apple. And a show. The show that he. Apple TV. The show that he is making. But the movie is The Dink. The movie is The Dink. That's up there on

Apple TV right now. 01:15:28 Speaker 2: With so many comedy heavy hitters. 01:15:29 Speaker 1: Yeah. A lot of really funny people in it. Really fun movie. Have fun. Watch it. And then, yes, I'm. 01:15:37 Speaker 5: Making a pilot for Hulu that I hope does better than the comedy central pilot that we talked about. I hope we get to make the whole series of the show, but I'm going to go film that. 01:15:47 Speaker 1: And I, I can't give all the details, I guess, but it's very, what's been announced is you guys will love this. It's called Lex and it's about a reality show. I don't want to say like. 01:16:00 Speaker 5: Specific reality star. Who's like off a big hit, like sort of Bravo show. And then, The sort of opening of the pilot is that he's recording a cameo, sort of an unhinged cameo for someone, you know, about trying to put a brave face on how bad his life is. And through the course of the pilot, you realize that he accidentally captured an assassination in the back of the cameo, trying to kill him. And he's now like the only person who can like sort of save our country or something. 01:16:32 Speaker 1: Casting's going amazing. Dylan O'Brien is the lead of the show. You're allowed to say that? 01:16:37 Speaker 2: I didn't know that. 01:16:37 Speaker 4: Wait, really? 01:16:37 Speaker 1: Yeah, Dylan. It was announced? I missed that. Huge. Can you believe it? That's huge. The amazing runner. So funny, so good, yeah. 01:16:43 Speaker 2: Dylan O'Brien has sent help, right? 01:16:45 Speaker 1: Yes. 01:16:46 Speaker 2: Okay, thank God. Imagine if I had the wrong Dylan. And he's great in that. 01:16:50 Speaker 1: He's so good. He's amazing, yeah. Are you lying? 01:16:52 Speaker 2: Have you? Yeah, are you lying? 01:16:53 Speaker 1: I'm not lying. 01:16:54 Speaker 2: Have you seen Twin Lates? 01:16:55 Speaker 1: Read the trail. Yes. 01:16:56 Speaker 2: Have you seen Twin Lates? 01:16:58 Speaker 1: Sorry, now I don't trust. Yes, I did see. He's unbelievable in it. 01:17:00 Speaker 2: He's so good in it. 01:17:02 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:17:02 Speaker 2: He's actually one of the great actors of his generation. 01:17:05 Speaker 1: He's incredible. Do you know what else he was, I thought, the best in? What? Saturday Night. 01:17:11 Speaker 2: I didn't catch that. 01:17:12 Speaker 1: I watched it. I liked it. And yeah, he's Dan Aykroyd. And he really is doing it. He's great. 01:17:18 Speaker 2: And he does a great job. 01:17:21 Speaker 1: Well, shout out to SNL. I almost was on it. 01:17:25 Speaker 2: We were all almost on it. Bye! 01:17:29 Speaker 1: Podcast ends now. 01:17:31 Speaker 4: Stradio Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts. 01:17:35 Speaker 2: Created and hosted by Sam Taggart and George Severus. 01:17:38 Speaker 1: Executive produced by Becca Ramos. 01:17:40 Speaker 2: Produced by Casey Donahue. 01:17:42 Speaker 1: Edited and mixed by Lawrence Stumpf. 01:17:44 Speaker 2: Social video done by Hot Dog Sandwich.