התמלול המלא של Patient Zero: Stop Waiting, Start Living

sit down, and let's just walk through 37 00:02:43.770 --> 00:02:47.689 it together. So I had gotten a text message from 38 00:02:47.719 --> 00:02:51.520 a dear friend who I was friends with way back, 39 00:02:51.580 --> 00:02:56.400 like way back, high school. So 20 plus years ago. 40 00:02:57.770 --> 00:03:01.710 And it was in response to an Instagram story that 41 00:03:01.770 --> 00:03:06.419 I posted about my excitement because Alex Warren, my guy, 42 00:03:06.840 --> 00:03:12.219 my guy, Alex Warren is touring family. He's extending the family, 43 00:03:12.360 --> 00:03:16.710 finding family on the road tour to include a stop 44 00:03:16.759 --> 00:03:22.729 in Paris on my birthday next year. I just needed 45 00:03:22.770 --> 00:03:26.930 to process that because I, Before we go, before we 46 00:03:27.409 --> 00:03:32.310 get there, let's stay here. So I had posted just 47 00:03:32.349 --> 00:03:37.560 an Instagram story saying, Alex, Alexander Warren, what are you doing? 48 00:03:38.659 --> 00:03:41.580 You're going to my dream city on my birthday, friend. 49 00:03:42.620 --> 00:03:46.400 That's all I said. And in response to that Instagram story, 50 00:03:46.419 --> 00:03:52.590 I got this message. Let's see. Let me find the message. Do-do-do-do. 51 00:03:54.599 --> 00:04:00.500 My phone will not recognize my face. There we go. Really? 52 00:04:01.159 --> 00:04:04.439 Like that will happen? You said you make zero dollars. 53 00:04:05.479 --> 00:04:08.379 If you get people to fund this, that's sick. There's 54 00:04:08.419 --> 00:04:12.560 people dying from cancer that need people's funds. If this happens, 55 00:04:12.659 --> 00:04:17.930 we're done as friends because your priorities are messed up. Ouch, 56 00:04:18.129 --> 00:04:21.670 I said. I literally said, ouch. A gal can dream 57 00:04:21.990 --> 00:04:24.800 and I'm not asking anyone for help. Thank you for 58 00:04:24.860 --> 00:04:28.129 speaking your truth, and this feels unnecessarily angry to me. 59 00:04:28.550 --> 00:04:32.829 Did I do something to offend you? This feels uncharacteristically mean, 60 00:04:33.110 --> 00:04:35.589 and I don't know what's going on in your world, 61 00:04:35.629 --> 00:04:39.509 but I will pray for you. To which this person 62 00:04:40.170 --> 00:04:44.800 responded with a laughing emoji, and then said, You have 63 00:04:44.839 --> 00:04:47.779 for the past year on vacations had people spread love 64 00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:50.639 for your stupid Disney trips when other people tried to, quote, 65 00:04:50.699 --> 00:04:54.060 get by all year to make that trip. I pray 66 00:04:54.319 --> 00:04:57.879 for you. That's the difference between you and I. I 67 00:04:57.939 --> 00:05:01.060 came from nothing and my husband makes over six figures. 68 00:05:01.279 --> 00:05:04.949 Over is in all caps, by the way. Yet, even 69 00:05:05.009 --> 00:05:08.810 if we only made my teacher's salary $ 35, 000, I'd never, 70 00:05:09.670 --> 00:05:14.670 ever be begging for GoFundMe. And don't you dare say 71 00:05:15.410 --> 00:05:17.490 at the end of this message that you never asked 72 00:05:17.509 --> 00:05:20.930 for money. You giving your Venmo is doing just that. 73 00:05:21.029 --> 00:05:23.889 So don't lie. My husband said he'd be embarrassed if 74 00:05:23.949 --> 00:05:27.720 I did that. Are we homeless? He said, you really 75 00:05:27.759 --> 00:05:30.540 need to get your priorities straight and get right with 76 00:05:30.600 --> 00:05:32.899 God too. Your posts scare me, not going to lie. 77 00:05:33.480 --> 00:05:37.220 I will pray for you. To which I responded one 78 00:05:37.240 --> 00:05:42.420 last time, don't worry. God is at work in my life, 79 00:05:43.519 --> 00:05:47.430 in my heart. I am truly sorry that you feel 80 00:05:47.449 --> 00:05:51.879 this way. There is no sense Arguing in things that 81 00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:55.779 are not up to you to judge. Especially when you 82 00:05:55.879 --> 00:05:59.839 only have fragments of the story. If it bothers you 83 00:05:59.939 --> 00:06:02.810 so much, please feel free to block me now and 84 00:06:02.879 --> 00:06:08.910 save yourself from any future entirely unnecessary stress. Meanwhile, I 85 00:06:08.970 --> 00:06:11.649 am going to stay the course because I have never 86 00:06:11.709 --> 00:06:15.689 been more sure of his plan in my life. Much 87 00:06:15.750 --> 00:06:18.509 love to you. Through him, with him, and for him. 88 00:06:20.800 --> 00:06:24.980 zero hate to this person because I feel like to 89 00:06:25.100 --> 00:06:27.779 send a message like that to somebody, you have to 90 00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:31.970 be in the darkness. You have to be going through 91 00:06:32.129 --> 00:06:36.250 something and I wish them all the best. But I 92 00:06:36.269 --> 00:06:38.949 thought it might be a good opportunity to just kind 93 00:06:38.990 --> 00:06:42.620 of like level set and talk through some things that 94 00:06:42.740 --> 00:06:46.250 might actually be on people's minds, because like, I can 95 00:06:46.290 --> 00:06:50.050 recognize that there were, you know, if you look at 96 00:06:50.089 --> 00:06:52.430 my life and you watch my stories and you see 97 00:06:52.870 --> 00:06:55.680 everything that I've been sharing, it might look like everything 98 00:06:55.740 --> 00:07:01.420 is hunky dory. And it's not, it's not, I am 99 00:07:01.459 --> 00:07:05.079 an Alanis Morissette lyric right now. I'm broke, but I'm happy. 100 00:07:05.100 --> 00:07:07.839 You know, that's all that is my life right now. 101 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:11.860 And I figured that if this one person got brave 102 00:07:11.899 --> 00:07:14.819 enough to send me this message, There might be other 103 00:07:14.860 --> 00:07:18.759 people that are curious too. So I thought maybe this 104 00:07:18.779 --> 00:07:20.180 would be a good time for us to all just 105 00:07:20.879 --> 00:07:24.069 level set. So let's get into it. I can't help it. 106 00:07:24.600

--> 00:07:26.339 I am a Swifty and all four of the new 107 00:07:26.360 --> 00:07:29.819 songs are basically earworms that live in my life right now. 108 00:07:29.980 --> 00:07:34.220 So let's get into it. Because my dear friend Coach 109 00:07:34.259 --> 00:07:36.600 Doc asked me this question about what would my past self, 110 00:07:36.639 --> 00:07:38.779 my future self, and my present self say to each 111 00:07:38.819 --> 00:07:40.240 other if they were sitting in a room? And I 112 00:07:40.300 --> 00:07:45.120 think they would start... with the idea that you don't 113 00:07:45.199 --> 00:07:48.750 have to wait for everything to be perfect. You don't 114 00:07:48.790 --> 00:07:53.269 have to wait for the struggle to leave. You exist. 115 00:07:53.370 --> 00:07:57.129 Grief and joy can coexist. This is something that we 116 00:07:57.189 --> 00:07:59.750 talk about here is that grief and joy can coexist. 117 00:08:00.389 --> 00:08:04.209 And every, if you wait for everything to be perfect, 118 00:08:05.129 --> 00:08:10.560 you're never going to, you're So on January 2nd of 119 00:08:10.620 --> 00:08:12.399 this year, when I was let go from what I 120 00:08:12.459 --> 00:08:15.410 thought and hoped was my dream job, I saw that 121 00:08:15.569 --> 00:08:19.209 as a sign and I turned it over to the Lord. 122 00:08:20.589 --> 00:08:24.610 I literally prayed on my hands and knees and turned 123 00:08:24.709 --> 00:08:28.029 it over to the Lord. I said, Lord, Jesus, take 124 00:08:28.050 --> 00:08:30.250 the wheel because I don't know what's up. I don't 125 00:08:30.269 --> 00:08:32.509 know what's going on. I do know that I've had 126 00:08:32.549 --> 00:08:34.529 this calling on my heart that I've been ignoring for 127 00:08:34.570 --> 00:08:39.370 a really long time. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's it. 128 00:08:39.429 --> 00:08:42.070 Maybe I'm supposed to do this thing. I'm supposed to 129 00:08:42.129 --> 00:08:45.129 do the podcast. I'm supposed to work on my book project. 130 00:08:45.570 --> 00:08:49.450 And I'm supposed to lean in and let God work. 131 00:08:51.389 --> 00:08:56.600 And if you've seen any of my social media in 2026, 132 00:08:56.600 --> 00:09:02.440 you will see that God has been working hard for me. 133 00:09:02.519 --> 00:09:04.820 He's been fighting hard for me. And I am so 134 00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:09.590 stinking grateful for Because here's what you don't see, right? 135 00:09:09.669 --> 00:09:16.720 There is still struggle. There is actually absolutely this cloud 136 00:09:16.740 --> 00:09:19.679 over my head at all times now of like worrying 137 00:09:19.740 --> 00:09:24.110 about money. Because I have made $ 0 since last year. 138 00:09:24.879 --> 00:09:27.690 It's October. It is October 1st when I'm taping this. 139 00:09:28.269 --> 00:09:32.809 And I have made almost $ 0. I say almost because 140 00:09:32.850 --> 00:09:34.889 I had a friend pay me a couple hundred dollars 141 00:09:34.929 --> 00:09:38.269 to help her with a project. That was a one-time 142 00:09:38.309 --> 00:09:42.080 thing and that money is already spoken for. So aside 143 00:09:42.120 --> 00:09:45.779 from that, I have made $ 0 since 2025. That is accurate. 144 00:09:45.820 --> 00:09:49.740 Thank you, friend, for reminding me that I have made 145 00:09:49.740 --> 00:09:56.070 $ 0 since 2025. And life has been so good. I 146 00:09:56.129 --> 00:09:59.909 am happy. I am healthy. My marriage is in amazing shape. 147 00:10:00.039 --> 00:10:03.799 My relationship with my kids has never been better and stronger. 148 00:10:03.940 --> 00:10:06.990 And at a time when at 11 and 12, they 149 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:11.049 could be very much drifted away at this point. We're tight. 150 00:10:11.409 --> 00:10:13.850 They would tell me anything. I know they would. And 151 00:10:13.990 --> 00:10:17.870 I choose to be their friends. And I'm so grateful 152 00:10:17.929 --> 00:10:21.330 for all of these things. And It's the year of 153 00:10:21.370 --> 00:10:24.669 the fire horse. Yeah. I was leaning into that energy 154 00:10:25.450 --> 00:10:28.429 February 16th or 17th. I'm going to forget the exact dates, 155 00:10:28.529 --> 00:10:33.029 but mid February year of the fire horse starts. And 156 00:10:33.110 --> 00:10:36.289 I am on a plane to LA that I didn't 157 00:10:36.309 --> 00:10:41.610 pay for to tape a episode of this podcast in 158 00:10:41.649 --> 00:10:45.580 a studio that I didn't pay to rent with a 159 00:10:45.639 --> 00:10:48.179 friend who I met on the internet, who I had 160 00:10:48.240 --> 00:10:52.720 never met before in person. Who then took me to 161 00:10:52.750 --> 00:10:57.360 a VIP tour at Hollywood studios in Hollywood. Universal studios 162 00:10:57.399 --> 00:11:02.320 in Hollywood, I should say for free. And that was 163 00:11:02.379 --> 00:11:06.840 the start of everything else. There has been so many 164 00:11:06.899 --> 00:11:10.840 things and the biggest and most prominent example of how 165 00:11:10.919 --> 00:11:15.279 this shows up for me, how God shows up for 166 00:11:15.350 --> 00:11:17.889 me and how God has shown up for me in 167 00:11:17.929 --> 00:11:22.750 this story in the past. present and future. In the 168 00:11:22.809 --> 00:11:29.289 past is Red Rocks. So rather than belabor the entire story, 169 00:11:29.450 --> 00:11:31.950 I will give you the high level stuff. You guys 170 00:11:31.970 --> 00:11:34.870 can go and check out my Instagram and my TikTok. 171 00:11:35.289 --> 00:11:39.649 There's a whole journey waiting for you over there. But 172 00:11:40.250 --> 00:11:45.740 in a nutshell, I ended up doing a storytelling fundraising 173 00:11:45.820 --> 00:11:48.720 trip that I called Finding Family on the Road Trip, 174 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:52.629 where I raised money for a local cause on my 175 00:11:52.690 --> 00:11:55.750 way out west to go see Alex Warren play at 176 00:11:55.789 --> 00:11:58.080 Red Rocks. It was a show that didn't make any

177 00:11:58.129 --> 00:11:59.860 sense for me to be going to. It was a 178 00:11:59.929 --> 00:12:03.159 show that I bought a ticket for almost a year ago, 179 00:12:03.179 --> 00:12:12.379 a non-refundable, non-transferable ticket for the fourth row, VIP, because 180 00:12:12.440 --> 00:12:14.179 I did the math and it would be cheaper for 181 00:12:14.220 --> 00:12:16.799 me to do one ticket that way than four tickets 182 00:12:16.820 --> 00:12:19.740 for my family to go. Talked to Steve about it. 183 00:12:20.200 --> 00:12:22.620 At the time, I was making good money. We decided 184 00:12:22.659 --> 00:12:24.879 it would be great. It would be fun. Yes, maybe 185 00:12:24.919 --> 00:12:26.690 we can make another family trip of it. Maybe the 186 00:12:26.730 --> 00:12:29.610 boys will be done with school. Spoiler alert, the boys 187 00:12:29.629 --> 00:12:31.730 were not done with school. So what that meant for 188 00:12:31.750 --> 00:12:34.809 me was I just had to decide. Now, I couldn't 189 00:12:34.850 --> 00:12:39.980 fly because money. So I decided to drive by myself 190 00:12:40.539 --> 00:12:44.259 a thousand miles one way. Because I knew in my 191 00:12:44.340 --> 00:12:47.690 heart that I was meant to ask Alex Warren to 192 00:12:47.750 --> 00:12:52.129 be on my podcast at Red Rocks on June 2nd 193 00:12:52.330 --> 00:12:55.070 of 2025. And there's, like I said, there's a lot 194 00:12:55.110 --> 00:12:59.340 more there to that story, including June 3rd is a 195 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:02.100 dark day for me. That's the day, I hate calling 196 00:13:02.139 --> 00:13:05.700 it an anniversary date, but that's the anniversary date of 197 00:13:05.779 --> 00:13:09.440 my dad's death. Well, June 3rd is, and June 2nd 198 00:13:09.460 --> 00:13:12.240 felt close enough. And I've been trying for the past 199 00:13:12.299 --> 00:13:15.039 few years since being sober, I have been trying to, 200 00:13:15.500 --> 00:13:18.799 instead of getting blackout drunk that date, which I did 201 00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:23.279 a lot, instead of that, I am turning that date 202 00:13:23.710 --> 00:13:29.850 into a celebration of my dad's life. So I had 203 00:13:29.870 --> 00:13:31.490 this on my heart. I'm going to go to Red Rocks. 204 00:13:31.509 --> 00:13:33.409 I'm going to meet Alex Warren. I'm going to ask 205 00:13:33.450 --> 00:13:36.470 him to be on the podcast. And would you believe it? 206 00:13:37.580 --> 00:13:40.120 through the grace of God and the work of God 207 00:13:40.179 --> 00:13:43.200 and the timing, all of the different parts of the 208 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:46.539 timing that had to work exactly as they did. I 209 00:13:46.620 --> 00:13:50.429 had nothing to do with any of that. It was God. 210 00:13:51.870 --> 00:13:55.289 I had people asking me in line, how did that happen? 211 00:13:56.110 --> 00:14:01.149 I literally said, it was God because it was. And 212 00:14:01.190 --> 00:14:05.879 that is just one example. That is just one instance 213 00:14:06.090 --> 00:14:09.429 in many many many different instances that have happened for 214 00:14:09.509 --> 00:14:13.919 me in 2026 that might make my social media look 215 00:14:13.940 --> 00:14:17.919 a little unreal because guys remember what the podcast is 216 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:22.730 Quick Before You Forget is a podcast aimed at empowering 217 00:14:23.279 --> 00:14:28.190 you to build your unreal life from the ground up 218 00:14:28.830 --> 00:14:33.870 using tools like music, mindset, and movement to remember who 219 00:14:33.909 --> 00:14:36.529 you are while you build who you're meant to be. 220 00:14:38.399 --> 00:14:41.159 That's what the podcast is. That's what my life is. 221 00:14:41.299 --> 00:14:45.940 And I want everybody to have this ability and I 222 00:14:46.580 --> 00:14:53.080 guess inspiration. motivation to turn pain into purpose because I've 223 00:14:53.440 --> 00:14:55.299 had a fair share of pain. I'm not going to 224 00:14:55.320 --> 00:14:57.460 say I've had my fair share of pain because I 225 00:14:57.500 --> 00:15:01.100 know there's more pain coming, but I've had a decent 226 00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:04.679 amount of struggle and trauma and pain in my life. 227 00:15:04.779 --> 00:15:10.179 We all have. And I have decided to turn that 228 00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:14.440 pain and struggle into purpose. I have decided to turn 229 00:15:14.500 --> 00:15:18.620 that pain into something good in this world. And so 230 00:15:19.179 --> 00:15:21.659 my message or the thing that I would want my 231 00:15:21.740 --> 00:15:24.899 past me to know is that you don't have to 232 00:15:24.940 --> 00:15:27.200 wait for it to be perfect. You don't have to 233 00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:31.830 wait for the timing to seem right to you because 234 00:15:31.870 --> 00:15:35.049 it's not up to you. It's up to him. And that, 235 00:15:35.110 --> 00:15:42.950 my friends, is humbling. And I am grateful. And that's 236 00:15:42.990 --> 00:15:46.169 where present me comes into the picture because present me 237 00:15:47.690 --> 00:15:54.759 is paying attention. Present me is grounded in my faith 238 00:15:54.919 --> 00:15:58.519 in a way that past me wasn't. And that's, honestly, 239 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:07.639 that's powerful. Because present me sees messages and signs, and 240 00:16:08.730 --> 00:16:16.350 they're everywhere. Magic is literally everywhere. Guys, I was on 241 00:16:17.100 --> 00:16:18.960 I don't even know which example to use. I have 242 00:16:19.059 --> 00:16:21.559 so many, I have so many different stories right now, 243 00:16:21.679 --> 00:16:25.370 but I'll go with this one because I just, I'm 244 00:16:25.409 --> 00:16:32.549 freshly back from a magical trip to Minneapolis where I 245 00:16:33.129 --> 00:16:40.480 drove five hours one way to go and thank Penn 246 00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:44.360 and Kim Holderness for the joy that they've brought into 247 00:16:44.419 --> 00:16:46.879 my life, but not

just mine. My husband and I 248 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:51.149 watched and cheered them on for Amazing Race. And I've 249 00:16:51.169 --> 00:16:55.710 been a fan since the Christmas jammy era in like 2013. 250 00:16:55.710 --> 00:17:00.639 So this is like 13 years of admiring and respecting 251 00:17:00.940 --> 00:17:07.619 and laughing and feeling like this positive energy that surges 252 00:17:07.859 --> 00:17:09.839 across the internet if you look for it in the 253 00:17:09.880 --> 00:17:13.440 right places. I felt it from the Holderness family for 254 00:17:13.460 --> 00:17:17.700 a long time. So I had the opportunity. Thank you, 255 00:17:17.920 --> 00:17:21.539 Anne-Marie Topke, who was my very recent guest on Quick 256 00:17:21.579 --> 00:17:24.549 Before You Forget for saying, oh my gosh, we're coming 257 00:17:24.609 --> 00:17:28.970 to the Midwest. You need to come. You know, Minneapolis 258 00:17:29.029 --> 00:17:32.230 and Milwaukee are not exactly close, but I said, yes, 259 00:17:32.450 --> 00:17:35.589 of course I will be there. And I made that happen. 260 00:17:36.089 --> 00:17:39.150 And it had been, like I said, 13 years in 261 00:17:39.190 --> 00:17:42.890 the making. So when I was there and I was 262 00:17:42.990 --> 00:17:45.559 in line and I was getting to be ready to 263 00:17:45.640 --> 00:17:48.519 meet and hug these humans who I respect and admire 264 00:17:48.579 --> 00:17:52.579 and have sought joy from for like a very long time. 265 00:17:53.710 --> 00:17:56.140 My heart was racing and I was so nervous. And 266 00:17:56.859 --> 00:17:59.259 this is a skill. This is a thing. This is 267 00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:02.099 what I practice in the lines and at the theme parks, right? 268 00:18:02.140 --> 00:18:04.480 Like I was feeling all of the butterflies. I was 269 00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:09.079 feeling jittery. I was feeling just really nervous. And you 270 00:18:09.099 --> 00:18:11.980 know what song came on when I was like two 271 00:18:12.019 --> 00:18:17.279 people back in line? Ordinary by Alex Warren. Did I 272 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:20.819 freak out? and get my camera out and dance like 273 00:18:20.859 --> 00:18:24.779 a nincompoop. I scared the strangers around me. They were like, whoa, 274 00:18:25.559 --> 00:18:28.509 this girl, this guy was like, I'll take your picture. 275 00:18:28.869 --> 00:18:32.089 I said, no, thank you. Hold on. Can you hear 276 00:18:32.190 --> 00:18:36.289 Alex Warren? Can you hear? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 277 00:18:36.309 --> 00:18:50.940 We're hearing Alex. Hold on. It's happening. I know. I'm just, 278 00:18:51.019 --> 00:18:53.839 I'm unwell with this song right now. Like this is 279 00:18:53.960 --> 00:19:01.440 Alex Warren. Right now, right now. We're hearing Alex Warren 280 00:19:01.900 --> 00:19:04.940 right now. That's not about that. I just wanted to 281 00:19:04.980 --> 00:19:10.900 capture this very real, very present, very present moment that 282 00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:13.559 I was having where I felt like it was a 283 00:19:13.660 --> 00:19:19.009 God wink. Our friend Anne-Marie also in our episode mentioned Godwinks. 284 00:19:19.670 --> 00:19:22.329 And I think that that was, I think that Ordinary 285 00:19:22.410 --> 00:19:24.910 Playing by Alex Warren, right before I was meeting these 286 00:19:24.950 --> 00:19:28.180 people that I look up to and admire, was a Godwink. 287 00:19:28.680 --> 00:19:32.619 Much like the, honestly, the entire day. The whole day 288 00:19:32.700 --> 00:19:34.799 was a Godwink. I got to thank them. We got 289 00:19:34.839 --> 00:19:37.539 to hug. I think we're friends now. And I think 290 00:19:38.059 --> 00:19:42.519 if I remember correctly, Kim Holderness said she would, they 291 00:19:42.660 --> 00:19:47.099 would come on the podcast. So, yay! Stay tuned, stand 292 00:19:47.160 --> 00:19:51.869 by for that. But a lot of this comes down 293 00:19:51.950 --> 00:19:56.920 to being present and being grateful in the present and 294 00:19:57.779 --> 00:20:01.859 it's taken practice, but we get more out of the 295 00:20:01.920 --> 00:20:04.920 world when, of what we're looking for. Like we get more, 296 00:20:05.579 --> 00:20:08.240 when we're looking for something, we see more of it. 297 00:20:09.500 --> 00:20:11.329 Like it's like when you buy a new car, right? 298 00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:15.470 And you think that yours is the only black explorer. Now, granted, 299 00:20:15.789 --> 00:20:18.789 mine is named Midnight and she's very special. But you 300 00:20:18.809 --> 00:20:21.349 think you have the only black explorer until you get 301 00:20:21.390 --> 00:20:23.930 on the road then. And you're like, holy cow, black 302 00:20:24.029 --> 00:20:28.130 explorers are everywhere. It's kind of like that, except so 303 00:20:28.170 --> 00:20:33.750 much better because I see magic everywhere. And I really 304 00:20:33.809 --> 00:20:36.289 want that for other people. That's part of why I 305 00:20:36.349 --> 00:20:38.890 show up here. That's part of why I share here. 306 00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:43.140 Because as somebody that was in the darkness like I was, 307 00:20:43.960 --> 00:20:46.279 and now I feel very much like I'm in the light, 308 00:20:47.700 --> 00:20:49.970 it's because I let God work in my heart. It's 309 00:20:50.009 --> 00:20:54.029 because I became the light. Matthew 5, 16, right? We 310 00:20:54.130 --> 00:20:57.690 become the light. I became the light that I needed. 311 00:20:58.430 --> 00:21:00.769 And I want to let that light shine. Just like 312 00:21:00.829 --> 00:21:03.529 the song, I want to let that shine so dang 313 00:21:03.549 --> 00:21:07.839 bright that it catches fire in other people. So that 314 00:21:07.900 --> 00:21:13.579 is the present part of the story right now. The 315 00:21:13.640 --> 00:21:20.690 future is the unknown and it is scary. Nay, it's exciting, 316 00:21:20.750 --> 00:21:24.410 right guys? Because we practice that here. Fear and

excitement 317 00:21:24.569 --> 00:21:30.559 are the same chemically in our brains and we can 318 00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:35.400 choose to be excited in the face of fear, particularly 319 00:21:35.500 --> 00:21:39.410 when God is showing us in real time how his 320 00:21:39.549 --> 00:21:44.710 work can flourish in our lives. That's what's happening for 321 00:21:44.730 --> 00:21:47.460 me is that I, when I think about future Ty, 322 00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:53.299 I think that she is just sitting back laughing. Probably. Uh, 323 00:21:53.599 --> 00:21:56.539 she probably thinks I'm well, no, she doesn't think I'm 324 00:21:56.559 --> 00:22:00.019 crazy because I believe that's the thing. Like she probably does. 325 00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:01.640 I was going to say she thinks I'm crazy, but 326 00:22:02.359 --> 00:22:06.420 maybe she actually just is cheering for me. I don't know. 327 00:22:06.440 --> 00:22:09.109 I it's hard. It's hard for me to know But 328 00:22:09.170 --> 00:22:14.529 what I do know is the presence changes the future. 329 00:22:16.230 --> 00:22:19.029 The presence changes the future. And it just makes me, 330 00:22:19.150 --> 00:22:22.009 it makes me think of, you know, I got asked 331 00:22:22.049 --> 00:22:24.650 this question, my husband and I, my dear husband and 332 00:22:24.670 --> 00:22:29.000 I recently celebrated our 19 year wedding anniversary. And we 333 00:22:29.799 --> 00:22:32.380 went to Texas Roadhouse because my boys had been wanting 334 00:22:32.700 --> 00:22:36.980 steak and y'all the beef prices, you know, we just, we, 335 00:22:37.220 --> 00:22:40.660 oh my gosh. So It was actually less expensive for 336 00:22:40.700 --> 00:22:44.240 my family of four to feed our kids steak by 337 00:22:44.519 --> 00:22:47.059 going to Texas Roadhouse than it was to go to 338 00:22:47.079 --> 00:22:50.119 the store and cook because we've been cooking every meal 339 00:22:50.220 --> 00:22:53.900 for most of this year. So we go to Texas 340 00:22:53.960 --> 00:22:57.809 Roadhouse and I get my $ 4. 99 salad on my wedding anniversary. 341 00:22:58.049 --> 00:23:00.910 And it was lovely. And the best part was the 342 00:23:00.950 --> 00:23:05.289 four of us connecting so deeply. We laughed. The boys 343 00:23:05.329 --> 00:23:08.200 shared stories with us. And it was just this like 344 00:23:08.279 --> 00:23:13.740 really special reminder that, you know, I'm grateful for that. 345 00:23:14.119 --> 00:23:18.000 Like I'm grateful for the presence of my family. It 346 00:23:18.119 --> 00:23:22.809 is an actual gift in itself. Like it is time 347 00:23:23.549 --> 00:23:27.210 is like precious and fleeting. And we don't know, like 348 00:23:27.230 --> 00:23:29.930 we don't know tomorrow is not guaranteed. And we, I 349 00:23:29.970 --> 00:23:33.630 know this, you lose somebody like I lost my dad. 350 00:23:35.109 --> 00:23:39.670 And you realize that time is more precious than money. 351 00:23:40.670 --> 00:23:42.730 And the time that

we had together that night, I 352 00:23:43.150 --> 00:23:45.509 am going to cry. The time we had together that 353 00:23:45.549 --> 00:23:49.019 night was so special. We had the dinner and then 354 00:23:49.079 --> 00:23:52.099 we went home and we were listening to Max McNown 355 00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:56.680 and just hanging out and laughing and enjoying each other's company. 356 00:23:56.839 --> 00:24:01.500 And it was very special and it cost almost nothing. 357 00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:07.420 And isn't that beautiful? I think that's beautiful. So I 358 00:24:07.450 --> 00:24:11.319 think future Ty, and I guess from present Ty, I 359 00:24:11.940 --> 00:24:15.859 would want future Ty to remember how special that was, 360 00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:21.000 how special that is. Because I had this guy ask 361 00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:23.779 me when I was checking out at the grocery store 362 00:24:23.819 --> 00:24:26.960 that day, I had this guy ask me, I excitedly 363 00:24:27.019 --> 00:24:29.599 shared with him that it was my 19 year wedding anniversary. 364 00:24:29.640 --> 00:24:34.279 And he said, wow, that's great. What is the secret? 365 00:24:34.880 --> 00:24:39.339 to 19 years. And I responded, I don't, the Lord 366 00:24:39.400 --> 00:24:42.519 responded through me because I don't know where the words 367 00:24:42.579 --> 00:24:45.509 came from, but it was that we keep choosing each other. 368 00:24:46.630 --> 00:24:50.750 My husband and I keep choosing each other and we 369 00:24:51.109 --> 00:24:54.549 as a family keep choosing each other. And what a 370 00:24:54.589 --> 00:25:00.700 gift that is. And future Ty knows if and when 371 00:25:00.720 --> 00:25:06.269 Ty goes to Paris. Future Ty knows if and when 372 00:25:06.309 --> 00:25:10.789 it happens to see Alex Warren on her birthday. And 373 00:25:10.809 --> 00:25:14.470 I think that's important. I think it's important that we 374 00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:17.460 hold on to hope. Hope is power in our heart. 375 00:25:18.220 --> 00:25:21.519 And God would rather have us hope than have us 376 00:25:21.599 --> 00:25:25.920 doubt because he is working through the hope at all times. 377 00:25:26.579 --> 00:25:28.859 And that is a blessing that I don't even really 378 00:25:28.900 --> 00:25:32.289 know how to wrap my little human mind around. I 379 00:25:32.329 --> 00:25:35.369 had a three hour long conversation with my mom on 380 00:25:35.430 --> 00:25:38.920 my way home from getting to meet Penn and Kim 381 00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:43.539 Holderness in Minneapolis, Minnesota last weekend. And she and I 382 00:25:43.640 --> 00:25:47.680 talked through a lot of things. She asked me if 383 00:25:48.460 --> 00:25:53.269 I'm angry at myself. Like if I'm angry at the 384 00:25:53.309 --> 00:25:57.829 past version of me who drank myself into a medical 385 00:25:57.890 --> 00:26:02.910 emergency more than once. Am I angry at the version 386 00:26:02.930 --> 00:26:08.660 of me who shrunk myself to nothing in a job 387 00:26:08.839 --> 00:26:12.500 that I knew wasn't right from the beginning? Am I 388 00:26:12.680 --> 00:26:20.849 angry at me for not making better choices? Yes. I 389 00:26:21.250 --> 00:26:27.579 am angry at past Ty. And... This thinking and this 390 00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:31.680 opportunity to work this throughout loud has given me the reminder, 391 00:26:31.700 --> 00:26:35.150 as well as my conversation with my mom, gave me 392 00:26:35.190 --> 00:26:38.990 the reminder that I need to give myself some grace. 393 00:26:40.109 --> 00:26:43.130 So if the three of us, you know, past, present 394 00:26:43.150 --> 00:26:45.190 and future, we're sitting in a room, I think the 395 00:26:45.230 --> 00:26:50.599 past me. past me. Past me needs compassion and grace. 396 00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:59.200 Future me needs my attention right now to remind myself 397 00:26:59.240 --> 00:27:01.769 to be present and to keep my eyes out for 398 00:27:01.829 --> 00:27:05.240 all those signs and all those Messages from God, because 399 00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:09.759 they are coming in the counter. Honestly, when I said that, 400 00:27:09.779 --> 00:27:13.220 what I thought of is that scene in Harry Potter, when, 401 00:27:13.240 --> 00:27:20.299 when the, um, goodness, the letters all come in and like, 402 00:27:20.640 --> 00:27:23.259 cause they've been trying to make the letters from the school, 403 00:27:23.299 --> 00:27:26.000 not come from Hogwarts. Like where they were, they were 404 00:27:26.039 --> 00:27:28.589 trying to have them not come in. And finally, eventually 405 00:27:28.619 --> 00:27:31.670 when the letters got through, they just like piled in, like, 406 00:27:31.710 --> 00:27:34.539 that's how it feels. with God's messages in my life. 407 00:27:34.599 --> 00:27:37.059 Because you know what's really cool? You know what's really 408 00:27:37.099 --> 00:27:40.660 cool is that the same day that I believe the 409 00:27:40.700 --> 00:27:43.900 devil sent that message from my friend from high school, 410 00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:48.079 the one about like, get right with God. The same 411 00:27:48.099 --> 00:27:50.670 day that I got that message from the devil, God 412 00:27:50.750 --> 00:27:54.450 sent me 10 messages. And I say like, I say messages, 413 00:27:54.589 --> 00:28:01.250 I mean, actual direct messages from people on Instagram, people 414 00:28:01.309 --> 00:28:07.259 in email, people in my life texting me, the devil 415 00:28:07.319 --> 00:28:11.579 sent one message that honestly, there are versions of me 416 00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:14.099 in the past that it would have completely broken down. 417 00:28:16.220 --> 00:28:21.279 God sent 10 the same day. And these messages were 418 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:27.529 things like, I'm rooting you on from Uruguay. And my 419 00:28:27.569 --> 00:28:33.440 daughter has autism and your videos are helping her. Or 420 00:28:34.200 --> 00:28:36.420 my son and I have been watching your videos and 421

00:28:36.460 --> 00:28:38.640 we look forward to it every day. Thank you for 422 00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:44.450 sharing your joy with us. The devil sent one message 423 00:28:45.509 --> 00:28:49.869 and God sent 10. So that brings us to future Ty. 424 00:28:50.089 --> 00:28:54.730 And what does future Ty need? I think future Ty 425 00:28:55.250 --> 00:29:01.740 needs care. She needs today's choices to become tomorrow's blessings. 426 00:29:03.119 --> 00:29:05.519 And I think that's happening. I think that's happening in 427 00:29:05.599 --> 00:29:08.380 real time. I believe that I am on this path 428 00:29:08.460 --> 00:29:11.119 and have this purpose on my heart for a reason. 429 00:29:12.440 --> 00:29:15.109 And that's to share all this with you. So I 430 00:29:15.150 --> 00:29:18.710 have been talking for a while and I want to say, 431 00:29:18.730 --> 00:29:22.029 I want to ask you like the same question. And 432 00:29:22.069 --> 00:29:24.230 I really wish and hope that you actually answer it 433 00:29:24.269 --> 00:29:27.369 in the comments. So please do some thinking, but think 434 00:29:27.410 --> 00:29:31.240 with me on this because This was so introspective that 435 00:29:31.279 --> 00:29:34.539 it felt like I was in therapy with myself. So 436 00:29:35.569 --> 00:29:37.569 if you want to join me, I would love that. 437 00:29:37.730 --> 00:29:41.730 So if you're past, present and future selves were in 438 00:29:41.769 --> 00:29:44.289 a room, what would they say? What would their focus be? 439 00:29:44.970 --> 00:29:49.589 Because mine is to stop waiting and to start doing 440 00:29:50.519 --> 00:29:53.779 before it makes sense, before you have enough money, before 441 00:29:54.299 --> 00:29:57.579 it like all lines up like you think it's supposed to, 442 00:29:57.700 --> 00:30:02.160 because it's never gonna. It's never gonna. And if you 443 00:30:02.200 --> 00:30:06.380 sit around waiting for everything to line up, life is 444 00:30:06.420 --> 00:30:09.799 going to pass you by. So I'm going to end 445 00:30:09.839 --> 00:30:14.789 with this, this genius gift that God has given me. 446 00:30:16.089 --> 00:30:20.190 We started with, you know, the, the news and the, the, 447 00:30:21.089 --> 00:30:23.630 the gift that was, you know, Taylor Swift dropped four 448 00:30:23.650 --> 00:30:27.779 new songs. And I'm so grateful because they're so happy 449 00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:32.630 and they're exactly what my weary soul needed. The same day, 450 00:30:32.930 --> 00:30:35.809 Max McNown dropped this new album called Leave on a Light. 451 00:30:36.829 --> 00:30:39.809 And I'm already getting emotional thinking about it. So the 452 00:30:39.890 --> 00:30:44.230 same day that that dropped, there's this song on that 453 00:30:44.329 --> 00:30:49.700 album called The Room. And if you haven't listened to it, 454 00:30:49.750 --> 00:30:53.549 you need to listen to it. And it's a reminder 455 00:30:54.269 --> 00:30:58.630 of everything that I've talked about here. And it ends 456 00:30:58.730 --> 00:31:03.250 with this poem by Joshua Poetry. If you know him online, 457 00:31:03.289 --> 00:31:06.430 he's amazing. So it ends with this poem. It's a 458 00:31:06.529 --> 00:31:12.299 spoken word over the music. And it's talking about everything 459 00:31:12.339 --> 00:31:14.759 that we've talked about here, about being present, being grateful, 460 00:31:14.839 --> 00:31:18.549 being in the space you're in and being grateful for it. 461 00:31:19.859 --> 00:31:23.380 And the last line of the song is, will I 462 00:31:23.420 --> 00:31:29.390 have built a life worth dying for? Isn't that the 463 00:31:29.430 --> 00:31:39.089 whole point? So stop waiting and start doing. And this 464 00:31:39.130 --> 00:31:40.730 was heavier than I thought it was going to be. 465 00:31:40.950 --> 00:31:44.500 So I had to wipe my eyes here for a second. 466 00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:48.779 And remember that it's time to read our next question 467 00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:51.960 for next time, which I have in my hand. It's 468 00:31:52.019 --> 00:31:55.710 on the air as to a cup. Um, Let's see. 469 00:31:57.369 --> 00:32:00.849 Shake it up, shake it up. What is this question? 470 00:32:04.119 --> 00:32:08.460 No way. Okay, this is the second question from my 471 00:32:08.500 --> 00:32:13.319 friend Coach Doc, which is perfect. And it's actually the 472 00:32:13.380 --> 00:32:17.380 perfect follow-up question. So what is your biggest fear? And 473 00:32:17.460 --> 00:32:21.069 how do you plan to overcome it? That seems like 474 00:32:21.109 --> 00:32:23.670 the perfect topic for next time. What do you think, friends? 475 00:32:25.160 --> 00:32:27.440 Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank 476 00:32:27.460 --> 00:32:29.779 you for spending some time with me today. I am 477 00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:32.759 so deeply grateful for the opportunity to talk with you 478 00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:35.980 and to share with you and to hopefully inspire you 479 00:32:36.279 --> 00:32:40.109 to be present and to be grateful and to remember 480 00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:43.650 that all the versions of you are worth it and 481 00:32:43.690 --> 00:32:48.150 worthy of all the good things in life. So we'll 482 00:32:48.170 --> 00:32:52.940 see you next time on Quick Before You Forget. Voting 483 00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:56.759 starts today, October 5th, for the Top Host Competition, which 484 00:32:56.839 --> 00:32:59.380 is kind of like American Idol for podcasters, and I 485 00:32:59.420 --> 00:33:01.880 need your help. I will be posting about it, I 486 00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:04.490 will be sharing about it, but I need you to please, please, 487 00:33:04.529 --> 00:33:07.569 please share and post and vote. Please and thank you, 488 00:33:07.630 --> 00:33:10.009 because this could be life-changing for my family and me. 489 00:33:10.650 --> 00:33:13.910 And as a reminder, today's episode, thank you, thank you, 490 00:33:13.970 --> 00:33:17.490 Zeke's Village Market for sponsoring today's episode. I am wearing 491 00:33:17.609 --> 00:33:20.660 one of their amazing designs, and I'm going to show you. 492 00:33:21.099 --> 00:33:29.259 Sorry for those that are listening. You can even spot 493 00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:31.329 Zeke on this one, which is why it's so special. 494 00:33:31.809 --> 00:33:34.890 So I am so grateful for Zeke's Village Market. They 495 00:33:35.009 --> 00:33:37.470 are an amazing apparel company based out of Door County, 496 00:33:37.950 --> 00:33:40.940 and they partner with Guilty Apparel to design and sell 497 00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:44.519 souvenirs with Sue. Thank you again for spending some time 498 00:33:44.559 --> 00:33:46.829 with me today, and I'll see you next time on 499 00:33:46.890 --> 00:33:47.670 Quick Before You Forget.